


Only You

by Pokypup49, Rando29



Series: Uncharted Territory [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: AU, Angst, Baby Elicia, Childhood Memories, Cuddles, Cunnilingus, Dating, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Gunshot Wounds, Inner Dialogue, Lots of OCs - Freeform, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Meant to be together, OCs - Freeform, Pining, Royai - Freeform, SMUTTY SMUT, Smut, So many kisses, Star Gazing, Young Love, and other things, funny puns, honeymoon!, mild PTSD, military life, pretty much normal living, talk of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 244,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22175038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokypup49/pseuds/Pokypup49, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rando29/pseuds/Rando29
Summary: They were once best friends, but when Roy joined the military, they were separated. He seeks to find her out and is determined to marry her. That doesn't mean there aren't a few obstacles in the way. They find themselves learning to love and live with one another.Explicit in later chapters.
Relationships: Denny Brosh/Maria Ross, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: Uncharted Territory [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019086
Comments: 248
Kudos: 188





	1. Photograph

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the same AU as In His Bed or Mine, Rando and I's other joint fic. You don't have to read it in order to understand this one, but don't be afraid to check it out later. Nonetheless, we both hope that you enjoy it! 
> 
> Also: Thank you fullmetalscully for spurring this on.

The wind was cool like it was in the spring. The flowers had bloomed, waving a sweet hello to him as the wind played with them. Storm clouds loomed in the distance, however, he was not worried quite yet about them. He looked down at his feet and the rich, dark dirt between his toes. Her hands playfully threw a handful of dirt on them as she grinned up at him. “Are you going to help me,” she asked with not so innocent smile. Her straight blonde hair was waving in the breeze, a few stray strands she had twisted around her finger to tuck behind her hair, a fleeting attempt to keep it from her face. Her brown eyes were light, smiling up at him with her playful smirk. Another handful of dirt landed on his bare feet. “You’re in the way if you’re not.” He couldn’t move, even if he wanted to. He felt so detached from the scene as if it wasn’t real. It was too perfect with the green tall grass rippling a silver wave along the hillside behind him. Her lavender plant wasn’t in full bloom and he anxiously waited until it was. The small forest, hiding a small creek and pond, creaked and whined. The wind was picking up. A crisp nip from the wind forced her to pull her blue jacket closer to her. It didn’t stop her from digging her small holes to plant her strawberry plants. There wasn’t an expectation for berries this year, but as she’d say, “with growth comes prosperity.” Too wise for a girl in her teens, but, she had been independent for most of her life. 

The roar of thunder brought his attention away from her pink cheeks and her dirt-covered hands, and to the sky. The clouds were growing nearer. Her blonde hair became more unmanageable and he heard her huff in frustration, constantly pulling it out of her face. The patience of her hands was consistent. Each strawberry plant was tenderly brought into its designated place, with a brush of dirt above it and a loving pat. The little dark green leaves waved to the sky. Another roar of thunder echoed overhead and he opened his mouth to say it was time to leave, but he couldn’t say anything. He was still watching her hands, dyed the color of the dirt, tender care for each plant as if it was a masterpiece in her garden. Fingers swept over the soil, covering the roots, leaving tracks before her palms pressed firmly around the stem. 

“Riza,” he said as he nodded towards the storm clouds. 

She didn’t respond. She pulled the next strawberry plant out of its little container and placed it into the hole. 

“Riza,” he said again, firmer. “Come on.” 

The air snapped, roaring with a fair amount of shaking in his chest. He sat up, his ears ringing. The flowers, green fields, waving trees were gone. She was gone. It was white now, paned windows, and fluorescent lights that were too bright. His dark eyes blinked as he tried to focus. His hand reached to his side as it screamed out in pain, shooting to his chest and down into his legs. He pressed firmly against it, hoping that it’d help. It did not. The light blue shirt had slight blood staining as he lifted his hand to look. It’d bled through the bandage. 

“This time you weren't screaming,” the nurse greeted in a western accent. “Have a nice sleep?”

He blinked as she reached out for his side. 

“Let’s take a look here.” Her hands were warm, unlike the room. The thin blankets that they used to cover patients were useless by themselves. He had joked before that the military was keeping their meat fresh, like a refrigerator, by keeping the room chilly. He let out an involuntary hiss as she peeled the top back to peek under the bandage. She hummed, smiled up at him, and nodded. “Looks like it’s ready to be changed.” She had blue eyes, different from the green one of the nurse of yesterday. But hers were younger, kinder than the one from yesterday. She pulled the blanket up to his waist, pressed him back onto the bed and patted his chest. “I’ll go get some more gauze. Is there anything else I can get our war hero?”

He snorted internally. _War hero_. “Can I have a cup of coffee,” he whispered. His mouth felt dry and his eyes refused to focus.

She patted his chest again. “Doctor says water, milk, or juice,” she reminded, taking a pause between each of his choices. Western folk of Amestris talked slower, having better enunciation of their words. However, they also had a slight accent to accompany their words that distinguished them from other areas. “Would you like me to bring you some chicken and rice? The vegetable of the day is peas.” 

He looked up at the tiled ceiling. Peas. She grew peas. “Yeah,” he groaned. “And some water.” 

She nodded as she left this bedside and walked down the hall and out the door at the end. There were probably fifteen beds in the hall. That’s what happened during wartime. The beds got closer together. It made private time limited, and sleeping harder. Screams woke everyone up while moans _kept_ everyone up. It was not the best place to be recovering, but he didn't have room to complain. With his rank, he should have gotten his own room he grumped. His hand ran through his hair, letting his long bangs fall back into his eyes. He puffed upward at his hair up to blow them out with a sigh. It was quiet now. Either most of the soldiers had gone off to physical therapy or were chatting with family. The incline of his gurney made it easy for him to breathe, making it easier for him to sleep. With another yawn, he closed his eyes again. He just wanted to see her again. He wanted to smell the rain, hear her laugh, and see her golden locks drip with the rain that rushed over them. He wanted to feel….

“Major?”

Roy opened his eyes to see the same nurse. She had on the same smile as before and he began to wonder if it was something she practiced. 

“Let me take your shirt off so that I can clean and redress that wound of yours. Libby will be by shortly with lunch.” At least she was gentle. At least it wasn’t a guy. Roy wouldn't admit that it was uncomfortable at first, having pretty nurses fondle him and care for him. The army was generous with at least leaving their wounded members with beautiful women for them to drool over. However, for a man who’d been on the front line, and hadn’t seen a girl for a month (his unit wasn’t gifted with a female soldier) any slight erection was hard to miss. When he had the male nurse, Travis, who was admittingly funny with good bedside manners, Roy still pouted that it wasn’t a woman who was taking his clothes off. 

“Who’s Riza? That's the name you said when you woke, ” she inquired, unmistakably attempting to distract him from the painful sting of the cleaner. “Is she a friend? Girlfriend maybe?” She smirked as she glanced up at him. 

Roy couldn’t chuckle, it hurt too bad at the moment. “An old friend,” he groaned. “We grew up together.” His eyes lifted towards a photo on the wall. It was a generic military propaganda photo with several Amestrian flags with a set of soldiers saluting to them. 

“I don’t see many soldiers here that dream of old friends,” she snickered. “She must mean a lot to you.” 

He nodded but didn’t go on with it. He’d been in love with Riza for years. And he left her. He'd given up the opportunity to be with her when he donned the blue uniform and stepped into the marching line. Roy's dedication to the country was important to him. There was a purpose, justice, and duty in his life. Benefits were plentiful, with job training, healthcare, generous retirement. All you had to do is make it off the front lines. Even with a hole in his side, and haunting experiences, Roy still couldn't find himself ever abandoning his post. He survived, therefore he should now reap the benefits that were offered. 

But Riza wasn't there. She wasn't with him. Maybe that mattered more than benefits?

He flinched as she gently rubbed ointment onto his side. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, still enthralled in her work. "You got quite the wound here." 

_That is an understatement._ He was lucky to be alive. Even that seemed like a light statement. The dirt he was caked in, the screaming of soldiers around him, his friend screaming with his own gut wound, and the red spill of life that seeped through his fingers… he should have died. He had held his pistol in one hand as he shot incoming enemy, pressing his left hand firmly to his side. Roy frowned as he remembered starting to blackout, feeling that it was the end, and accepting it. There wasn't anything to do about it. Suddenly, the screams were gone, the gunfire ceased, and the smoke cleared. He was in her garden. Riza's garden. They were young, and the flowers were in full bloom. The sun was warm on his face and he could smell the endless wildflowers that surrounded him. The lush lilac bush against the house was in full bloom and intensely fragrant. A cool breeze teased his hair, bringing in the scent of spring grass. Roy looked next to him to see her hair shining brightly in the warm sun. He remembered this as clear as day. He could feel her hand brush his as she handed him a bouquet of flowers. Then he woke in a white room, two tall men pulling him onto a gurney. One patted his chest, one with wires covering it, all leading to various machines to indicate his health. Both his arms had tubes hanging from them, and a mask flowed warm oxygen into his mouth and nose. 

“Don’t worry,” the nurse brought him from his thoughts. “Girls like scars.” 

He snorted a laugh, feeling her tape the gauze to his side. 

Lunch was not as appetizing as he had imagined. He should have known. It was better than a warmed MRE, so he didn’t complain right out. Instead, he added some pepper from the little paper pepper packet and poked at his peas. He wasn’t hungry, not like he should have been. The pain medication suppressed his appetite, and he wanted to drink more water than to eat. Roy was sore and his mouth was dry. He glanced up as someone walked by his bed. He maneuvered his wires and his IV so that he could swing his legs to the side of the bed. Twists or even using his abs to sit up made him feel like he needed to puke. The pain would stop him in his tracks, robbing him of his breath. He had to go slow. He put his lunch on the rolling tray to the side, struggling to keep his core motionless and let his socked toes touch the cold tile floor. 

“Take your time,” a nurse called gently, smiling encouragement towards him. 

He’d gotten up and walked a couple of times already. Roy didn’t walk far. He mostly went to the bathroom, or to the garden to get some air. He wanted to go out to the garden, see the flowers, introspect, and be alone. He’d find a cup of coffee after that. Or maybe water. Something to quench his thirst caused by the medication. He stood straight as his feet stepped carefully down the long hall. Any movement to his side sent shooting pains everywhere else. There was no avoiding some pain. God forbid if he bumped into it. Never mind the possibility of internal bleeding, the pain was enough to make him cry. With patience and one breath at a time, Roy made his way to the open door. The adventure he had taken was cut short when he saw that rain clouds hovered in the distance with a cold wind blowing through. Maybe his dream held more of a premonition than he expected. He'd settle into a chair as he waited till a nurse could bring him some water and help him back to his cot.

The better part of his days was spent on reading. His blue-eyed nurse started bringing him books, newspapers, magazines, and anything special he requested. His blood-stained picture of Riza and his pocket watch, the only two items off his person that were retrieved, were in a drawer. At night, he'd get it out, looking at her for a few moments before the lights went out. His thumb would run over the picture, wishing it was his finger over her face. The blood on the bottom and side was his own. He’d begged for the medics on scene to reach into his jacket to get it, but they ignored his pleas. Her eyes in the photo were dulled compared to them in real life, and her smile was radiant. It was taken while they were out in the woods behind her home. They’d hidden out by a large pond where he had told her his plans to enlist. He had a camera and took her photo on the rocks. Her legs were pulled to her chest, a shit-eating grin on her face, with her eyes staring dangerously into the camera. It was a mischievous look; one he was quite familiar with in his youth. 

“Is that your girl back home?” The officer on the cot next to him inquired quietly. Roy didn’t know, nor care to know his name. He’d lost his leg in a car accident and wailed on about his loss on a daily basis. His family, a wife and three little children, would visit him every day. And he was healing faster in all aspects. 

Roy shook his head, his long hair swaying against his forehead and eyes. “A really good friend,” he answered in a whisper. If only it was a more recent photo of her. 

“You’re not looking at it like a friend,” the man chuckled. 

He didn’t need to explain himself to anyone. It had always been him and her. He was her escape and she was his adventure. Riza taught him to love. She became something that he’d be drawn to for the rest of his life. He couldn’t remember a day without her until he left. He sighed before leaning back. It was none of their business who she was or how he knew her. She wasn’t something that everyone needed to know, only for him to hold in his heart. The nurse would come get the photo from his sleeping hands and put it in the drawer for him. He thought back to those simpler times. 

_“Look at how bright those stars are.”_

_“And they are so far away!” She looked at him, turning her head on the blanket._

_“Yeah,” he breathed. “I wish you’d come with me.”_

_She laughed back. “I have school. And my father hates the military, you know that.”_

_“I guess that means I can’t marry you yet.”_

Progress was slow, but he was determined to evict himself from the dull and mundane atmosphere of the military hospital. Down the hall was a movie theatre. They played a movie once a day, but you were required to walk there. It was supposed to persuade soldiers into physical therapy. The only downside was that they didn’t get good theatre popcorn. It was healthy, no butter lightly salted crap. And there was no candy. One soldier, at one time, was having his sister bring candy in and he would sell three or four sour gummies for a cenz, but the nurses caught on. He was allowed to have them in his bed, and nowhere else. It made Roy roll his eyes. First, they wanted him to walk to the movie, then they gave out “healthy” popcorn and water, and restricted all candy on the premise of the theatre. He began to wonder if the nurses were military police trained as well. 

His aunt and a few of his sisters came to visit at first. At least once a week his aunt would visit. She wasn’t the pity type of parent, nor the fussy type. He was at least thankful she didn’t slap him on their first visit. She’d bring him stories of the outside, news of the family and whatnot. They’d watch other patients and she’d thank him under her breath for coming back to her. Maybe she wouldn’t admit it, maybe one day she would, but the scare of his near-death incident did terrify her. His foster sisters readily admitted it. They did bring him candy. One brought him a “men’s” magazine as a joke but he was happy for it. Their company was something to look forward to. 

“Do you know where Riza is?”

His Aunt shook her head. “We haven’t heard from her. She inquired about you a few times, but then she disappeared from my radar.” 

Roy looked at his hands fumble on the table. He gnawed on the corner of his bottom lip. 

“She’s probably in college now, isn’t she?”

“Probably,” he agreed silently. 

“It’s hard losing contact with an old friend.” Her hands fell on his and he looked up to see her smile. “I’m sure you two will see each other again. You two always had a knack for one another.” 

Once Roy really started getting his balance and mobility, he met with an officer from Central Command. He was a tall and ambiguous man. He looked as a military officer would look who spent his life behind a desk. His hair was done perfectly, short and gelled. His uniform was perfect to the codebook, and his boots looked like they were shined just that morning. Roy couldn’t remember the last time his boots had been shined. The more Roy looked at him, the more he felt he looked like a propaganda picture of an officer. The officer had stepped out of the poster and into the hospital. 

He sat down next to him in the garden, opening a manilla folder. Every officer who was in the hospital had a talk of some sort with a man like this. They were enlistment officers or reenlistment officers. Their whole purpose was to determine where you stood in the military from that day forward. Some soldiers had no choice but to retire, like the crybaby next to him. Others had options to stay and continue their service in other departments if they so choose. 

“Your wound was substantial, however, the doctor has informed my department that you should make a full recovery,” he said as he flipped through a doctor’s chart. His voice was nasally, as if his nose had been severely broken when he was younger. He would push his glasses higher on his nose and nod at the chart as if he was reading it with expertise. The man knew nothing of the medical field, Roy was sure of that. “We discussed the possibility of you staying in the military and he said that you could, but going back to war wasn’t the best choice.” 

Roy stared towards a terrace of climbing vines on the side of the hospital. His hand reached in his pocket to his metal watch, the watch that was given to him by a fellow officer after officer school. He was going to have to have it serviced with all the grime of war and his own blood it had seen. The officer shut the folder, tapping his index finger on it. This was the part that the man would offer discharge benefits, tell him how he was a war hero, and that he’d be given medals for this and that. Once wounded like this, everyone had the option to withdraw from service. 

“Or,” the officer coughed lightly into his fist. “Because you will still be fit for duty, you are welcome to two other choices. We can put you on reserve duty, however, you will only be paid for two days out of the month during training. Once a year you will be assigned to a unit for six weeks and deploy. The other option is to put you behind a desk. I see here that you have an associate's degree in Engineering. After a few advanced officer classes, you’d get a promotion.” 

To some, it was a Godsend. His best friend was behind a desk. He saw action for a short amount of time but was moved to military police in the investigation unit. To others, it was a curse. Desk duty was boring, full of paperwork and mindless zombie actions of the wrist and fingers. 

“This will give you active duty and you will be paid on a regular basis.” The officer pulled out another file, looking it over. “Benefits would be better.” 

Roy didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. 

“The military has great benefits for you. Your outstanding service and dedication will earn you another promotion soon. There is always a chance for you to be called to the front lines again, however, it’s a safer option for you with a wound like that.” 

He’d take the time allowed to think about it. It wasn’t like he was going anywhere soon.

Then there was the source of his wound. The dirty blonde-headed, loudmouthed officer that enjoyed the attention of the nurses. He acted as if getting shot in the line of duty was the best damn thing that ever happened to him. And it probably was. The man enjoyed a good flirt and was surely the sole reason there wasn't a girl in their unit. He was in another part of the hospital for a while. They weren’t sure of the reasoning behind their separation other than Jean’s wound was more substantial than Roy’s. He figured Jean had been faking it, crying on to get more attention. It was more than likely he was playing it up. The man wasn’t as dumb as he let everyone think. He may not be book smart, but he knew how to get what he wanted. What he wanted was to stay in the hot nurses’ care as long as he could.

“I do this time,” he argued. “I think I’m in love!’

“You say that every time.” Roy put down a card on the table. 

“Yeah, but this time I think she really does love me back.” 

“Jean,” Maes said firmly, placing his own card on the table. “You say that every time too.” 

“She’s not going to love you when she finds out you have syphilis.” 

“She’s my doctor. She knows my medical history. And it _was_ Chlamydia!” Jean stuck his tongue out immaturely at Roy. “It’s all better now.” 

“What about you, Roy? Is every nurse here just falling head over heels with your eyes?” Maes sat back, scratching his beard. He was in full uniform, unlike Jean who was in blue scrubs like Roy. His black hair was slicked back, with a lock rebelliously flopping forward like an antenna in the front. His eyes smiled behind the glasses, revealing the great mood Maes was in to be with his friends. He wasn’t able to visit as often as the two would have liked. He still had actual work to be done. The desk jockey was being overwhelmed with criminal cases. 

Roy chuckled, rubbing his nose. “I like it when Mary is in,” he said quietly as he laid down another card, picking up one from the deck. “But she’s just nice.” 

Maes nudged his shoulder against Roy’s. “And pretty?” The man was a romantic. He wasn’t a romantic like Jean who just wanted to play. Maes believed in love at first sight, having waffles in bed, and watching sappy romance movies under a heavy quilt on a snowy afternoon. It was a wonder how the whole visit wasn’t plagued with the detailed blessings of his fiance.

Roy chuckled again with a short nod. “Yeah. She’s pretty.”

“You can thank me for that,” the blonde member grinned. The thumbed himself in the chest as he sat straighter in his seat. “Just think. Years from now you will look back onto these good ol’ days when women hovered over you, talking in sweet baby voices about your boo-boo.” 

Roy’s smile turned into a frown as he groaned. “Yeah. I promise that I’ll always be thankful for this hole in my side.” 

Maes raised an eyebrow with concern. “You enjoy baby talk as foreplay? That’s not weird.” 

Jean laughed loudly. “I like it when women give me a sponge bath.”

“Sponge baths?” Maes picked up a card from the deck before laying down three 8s. 

Jean chuckled at his own pleasures. 

“You know that the goal is to stand up on your own and shower with your own woman right?”

Jean coughed into his fist as he laughed. “Standing? You should be holding her up against the wall. Maes, you’re doing it wrong.” 

“At least the water is warm,” Roy muttered. “Showers on the front line was them throwing a bucket of dishwater on us.” It might have been an over-exaggeration. But it wasn’t far from the truth. The showers weren’t always warm. 

Maes pointed to Jean then to the discard pile anxiously, reminding him to go. “What’s up, friend? You are being spoiled rotten in here, and by these lovely ladies, what’s making you so melancholy? Did they put you on some downers?”

“He’s been thinking of Riza,” Jean replied for Roy. 

“Have you written her?”

Roy nodded. 

“And?”

Roy laid down a straight of 4-5-6-7. “Nothing.” 

The three sat quietly as Maes took another card and discarded another. 

“She stopped writing back while I was on the lines. I kept writing, but she never responded. Some of them came back. I thought that if she moved, she’d at least tell me.” 

“Maybe she got a boyfriend, moved on?”

Maes kicked Jean under the table. “Shut up, you,” he grumped. 

“Maybe she did,” Roy breathed sadly as he put down three 2s. “Rummy.” 

The recruiter came back to talk to him again. Once he got out of the hospital, he was going to be given a month of leave. The desk job would be consistent pay, and he would go home every day. He never had ambitions outside of service. He liked drawing, sketching and sorts. And he liked jobs that were physical like construction or masonry. However, those specific jobs were not specifically physically okay for him. He signed for another three years. Though his Aunt did seem disappointed by his choice, he wasn't. He didn't feel like he was trapped in it, or given no other choice. It was an educated choice of his own based on the information he had. 

First, he had to get better. First, his organs needed to heal. Though minimal organ damage had occurred, the muscles were in bad shape. The high caliber that pierced him, entering him through his back, exiting his front, making a bigger nastier hole on his front. For the first two weeks, it was extraordinarily painful to lay on his back. Due to luck and favor from God, there were no bullet fragments left inside, and the hole in his back wasn't as big as it could have been. Jean wasn't so lucky. Months were to go by before he could go home, years before he was "healed." The evidence was there. 

His Aunt, his primary caregiver since a young boy, came in with a home-cooked meal for him only to see his scar. It was red, swollen, and pus seeped from the stitches. It was 100% better looking than it was a month ago, and she still stopped in tears when she saw it. It wasn't her first time, not would it be her last. "Roy," she breathed with a shake of her head. The disappointment and worry was never going to go away. 

The nurse looked behind her and smiled. "Hello. Ms. Mustang. How are you?"

"It's looking better," he said as he tried to console her. "And it hurts less. I'm walking more." 

The nurse then brought an ice pack for the swelling and left them to chat. He knew she wanted to slap him upside the head, tell him how stupid he was for trying to be a hero. But she didn't. She placed the meatball sandwich in his lap and pulled out some fries. They were cold, but Roy couldn't have been happier. For the last month, he was only eating soft and liquid to allow his intestines to rest. To finally be able to eat a sandwich with meat was the best treat his aunt could bring him. Good food, amazing company… his day was complete. Well...almost complete. 

"No info on Riza yet?"

Aunt Chris shook her head as she watched a man on crutches hop by. "I looked in a few places, but didn't find anything." She turned her head, looking at him sympathetically. It was critically close to the same look she gave him when his dog was hit by a car. It made his stomach roll over and his abs contract, making him feel sicker. The palms of his hands began to sweat, nervousness increasing. "Roy-boy," she said softly. "I know you loved her. And I know you still do. Don't get your hopes up." It was her telling him to be realistic. 

He could only nod, still feeling sick. He put his sandwich down and leaned back. His hand unconsciously made its way to his side. "I promised her I would come back," he breathed. "Now I'm back, and she's not here."

A deep part of him wished that she’d just show up one day. He wanted to hear her voice, hear her laugh, and a few times he thought he did. A quick look around the room confirmed his suspicions that his mind was playing games with his heart. 

At the end of the second month, and nearing the end of his healing journey, he did something stupid. Still, with a cane and a light hobble, Roy was making good progress. He was tired of being "locked up" and the doctor agreed to "free" him under the conditions that he checked in once a week, did not work, and did not do any of the generic "do not." Do not lift, do not run, do not eat heavy foods or red meat, do not bathe, do not scratch, do not exercise, do not sneeze… the restrictions seemed overwhelming and not worth the price of freedom. His aunt had already taken a prep course in care as well as two of his sisters who swore to comfort and care for him like a sick puppy. 

Then he played cards with Jean and Maes.

The table held six of them easily. It was a joyful game. Maes' fiance supplied a large bag of M&Ms to bet with and another fellow has a deck of cards. A game of poker quickly formed. The other two were roommates of Jean. Roy wasn't entirely sure how either of them seemed to stand to be around him for too long. Jean was only allowed one cigarette a day, and it made him moody. Today he was on his A-game. Wit and sarcasm bounced around the table. It was obvious that Jean was feeling a bit edgy. The nurses brought them some bottled water and made sure they were playing nice. Other than that, the nurses had other things to attend to. 

Maes tossed his cards on the table with a huff. “I fold. I can wait for a good hand.” The other two men there chuckled. One had an elaborate mustache, easy to envy. Roy noticed how it curled on the ends and well-trimmed. “So, Roy, are you going to go find Riza?”

Jean chuckled as he laid down another card, the turn, on the table. “Still no word from Jailbait?”

“She’s just a friend,” Roy grumbled as he added three M&Ms to the table. _I’m never telling him anything ever again._ Maybe he kept saying she was a friend to convince himself of what they weren’t. He knew he was in love, and at one time it was pretty unethical for them to be in a relationship. But it didn’t stop him from adoring her. She was his best friend for a long time. It’s hard to dismiss those feelings. They may have only kissed, and maybe as a “child” like he didn’t completely comprehend love, but did he? 

“Yeah, a friend…” Jean continued to jest. 

Maes waved him off. “Are you going to go East? I’d offer to help find her but they have me swimming in paperwork right now.” 

Roy shrugged. “I don’t know where to start. I suppose I can try at her home.” Years from not seeing her, and the eventual loss of reading her letters, he didn’t know where to start. She could be there with her new husband. She could have died. Roy’s gut clenched. _Don’t think like that._

“I bet she’s married and living the high life under some rich bastard."

“Will you let it go,” Maes warned, throwing an M&M at Jean playfully. “Quit being a dickbag.” 

The second anonymous man threw his cards down. “I just want to eat my candy,” he grumbled. “This is bullshit.” 

Jean laid down the river. “Does a friend stay hidden in your drawer? Shit man, just admit that you are in love with a child.” 

“She’s not a child anymore,” Roy laughed. “And we’re friends.” 

“If that’s what you consider a girlfriend,” the man with the elaborate mustache grinned. “Then your sock must be yours,” he insulted Jean. 

“And she loves it every time.” 

Roy ignored their immaturity. “I think I just need closure,” he concluded as he put three more M&Ms on the table as his bet. “If she’s married, or if she’s not interested, or maybe she waited for me... “ 

“Did she say she’d wait?”

Roy scratched the stubble on his cheek. “I told her I’d come back…”

“I think you should,” Maes quickly agreed. 

“You’re a helpless romantic.” 

“Well,” he laughed. “With a future wife like Gracia, it’s hard not to love her more every day.” 

“With a lover like Riza,” Jean interrupted. “Roy can’t help but want to find her.” 

Roy now threw an M&M at his war buddy. They both grinned, knowing that Jean just needed to get up and go have his one smoke a day. “We never did anything anyway.”

The two other men raised their brows. “How do you consider her your girlfriend if you never did anything? Did you kiss her?”

Roy grinned. “Do you kiss your mom?” He wouldn't readily admit that he kissed Riza. Oh had he kissed her. With their last kiss being -

“I’d kiss your mom!” 

Roy laughed at the joke. “You’re more than welcome to dig her up and give her a wet smack on the lips, my friend.” 

As the laughter at the table died down, Roy pulled in his winning to his pile of chocolate candy. 

One of the men stood up, grabbing the pile of candy that he still had. “Well, men, it’s been fun. But I have a date with my pretty nurse and I’d rather eat this candy.”

They all said their goodbyes before Jean stole one of Roy’s candies. Roy didn’t seem to care. He shuffled the deck and dealt the cards. He bit his lip before looking back at Maes. “I don’t think I could make a trip now, but I can try. She’s been on my mind lately…” 

“Obviously!” Jean put his ante on the table. “You were mumbling her name all night. You talk in your sleep.”

“You need to go suck nicotine before you say something stupid,” Maes rolled his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure that you don’t moan just any friend’s name like that.”

Roy scooted his flimsy plastic chair back. He’d had enough of his friend’s banter. In one quick jab, he kicked the leg of the chair. It snapped and Jean yipped as he fell onto the ground. A flurry of curses was quick to follow. The rest of the table chuckled while Roy stole an M&M from Jean’s pile and ate it. 

“God, damn it, Roy!” Jean held his stomach. “That fucking hurt!” 

“Well,” Roy said as he chewed. “You hurt my feelings.” 

As Roy grinned at his fallen friend, Jean swung his leg out and kicked out Roy’s chair leg. 

The difference was where they both landed. Jean’s wound was more in center mass. Any jostling was painful, and the damage was worse than Roy’s. However, Roy was on the side of his abdomen, and he landed on _that_ side. Roy grabbed his side, yelling a quick, “Fucker,” before rolling over. “I’d kick your ass if a Cretan didn’t first.”

The pain was quick to spark. He instantly felt like puking. He curled onto his side, holding his stomach tightly. He groaned as his side pulsed shockwaves throughout the rest of his body. His teeth clenched tightly and his toes curled. He wanted to kick him really good in the shin. Maes jumped from his seat, reaching out for Roy. 

“I’m going to make sure I steal your favorite nurse,” Roy threatened. “I outrank you.” 

"At least I can get laid,” Jean retorted. “Too bad she’s just your _friend_.” 

“That escalated rather quickly,” the spare person at the table snorted. 

“That’s low,” Maes said to Jean. 

"Now, now," the nurse quickly dissolved the banter.

“Great,” Jean rolled onto his back. “The pretty police are here.” 

“I thought you liked being arrested in bed.” 

“Handcuffed,” Jean corrected. 

The incident earned Roy another week and a half in the hospital, and a deadly glare from his aunt, who this time did hit him upside the head. It didn’t deter Roy from looking at Riza’s picture. Jean was right in some sense. He was in love with her. He only hoped that denying it would make it better when he didn’t find her. His chest ached when he thought about kissing her, holding her face in his hands, and getting lost in the brown depths of her eyes. He closed his eyes as he thought about how he could see the slight ripples of the iris, the gold trimming around the edges. They grew darker as it neared the pupil and the rolling valleys shallowed. They smiled so wonderfully. They held her true emotions to anyone who knew her soul. Annoyance, playfulness, anger, and love, were all so easily discovered in her eyes if one knew what they were seeing. Her smile may have been one thing, but he could see what was really going on with one look. He remembered too well how she’d hold a straight face to so many people, ignoring their false concerns of her father’s health, or when she’d blatantly lie about her own well being. 

_“I’m fine,” she said casually as she kicked a rock on the trail. “I’m used to his outbursts at this point.” She smiled at him, her lips curling gently more to one side._

_Roy stopped her with a grasp on her elbow. “I know you’re not,” he whispered. “Your eyes don’t lie.”_

It was a significant point in their relationship when he learned how awful her father was to her. It was also the first time he saw her tears in her eyes. They were still small, still vulnerable to the world, and he had seen her put up miles of a wall at the age of eight that she was no longer a child. She had to play adult, be independent, and _look_ strong. Roy couldn’t say he had a great childhood either, but he was still able to be a child, to still laugh and be taken care of. She had to figure it out on her own. They’d hideaway where there were no walls, where he could teach her to smile, to laugh, to throw rocks and jump logs. It was where she learned to climb trees, to throw punches, and to hide. She wasn’t afraid of growing up, but to be a child. 

The pain in his side remained a constant irritant for the next few days. His back particularly ached as if he was hit with a baseball bat. The pillows he laid on didn’t help and walking sent tiny needles into his lower back right by his spine. Jean was probably lucky Roy couldn’t walk. He coughed, or started to cough. The nurses put him on antibiotics, again, in hopes to defer an infection. It felt as if death was always close at hand as if everything would cause him pain and unrest. A distant dream of getting on the train and going to her home lingered in the recesses of his mind. He needed to see her. 

“Don’t strain it,” the doctor ordered sternly. “The outside has healed, but the inside is still vulnerable and your muscle is trying to repair itself. Protein, like beans, and I’m still recommending soft foods for another month.” 

Roy nodded dumbly, looking at the full page of instructions. A hand ran up his back and into his hair. “I promise we will take care of him,” his sister ensured. “He will be so spoiled!” 

He slipped on his sweatshirt, ruffling his wet hair. Although a cane was given to him, he decided to keep whatever dignity he had and walk out to the car without it. No one had to see him collapse into the back seat. 

“First things first, you’re getting a haircut,” his sister, Shelby, decided. 

“Take me to the train station,” he ordered as soon as they started the car. 

“Roy!” 

“I need to go see Riza.” 

“Chris is going to kill you if you don’t die on the way there!” 

The other sister, Belle, nodded quickly. 

He grumped as he looked out the window. “I can’t…” He looked down at his hands, his palms sweating and his thumbs fiddling with each other. “I have to go try to find her.” 

The younger sister hummed as she thought about it. “You can’t go by yourself…” 

The elder nodded in agreement. “Stay a couple of nights with us. We will get you set up to go. When you have someone to go with, I’m sure we can convince Chris to let you go.” 

It wasn’t that easy. 

Aunt Chris was already short-tempered with his poker game antics, letting him go to the outskirts of East City, even with a chaperone, was difficult. There was little that could be said to sway her mind. After a week, and much rest, she allowed him to go with Maes. They’d be gone for three days, Roy promised. “I won’t do anything stupid,” he promised. “I’m packing light, Maes will help, and I will be back in three days whether I have answers or not.” 

“If you come back in worse shape, I will keep you locked up! Don’t think I won’t, Roy-Boy.”

There was no doubt of the anxiety and fear that lingered in his gut. Roy was heading into waters that would drown him or bring him to life, and he didn’t know which. He’d written Riza once more while in the hospital, laying in the dark, listening to his neighbor groan in his sleep. He asked her to come see him, that he missed her, and wanted to know if she was okay. But the letter came back to him. _She must have moved_ , he determined. He wasn’t too favorable in her father’s eyes, which was fine after he knew the abusive side of the man. The feeling was mutual once Roy learned the scar that appeared on her back one day after a hot oil incident when he was mad. She’d always defend him, but Roy knew better. It was completely possible for her to have left the old house of her father's. 

“What if she’s not there?” A crisp snap of the soda broke the mundane hum of the train. 

Roy shrugged. 

“You can’t let this go,” he began to encourage. “If you love her this much, you need to find her.” 

“Maybe she doesn’t want to be found.” Roy looked out the window. “I’d imagine she doesn’t love me anymore after I left her behind.” 

“I think she loves you,” Maes quickly argued. “She will always love you.” 

The train was not as forgiving as he had hoped. The constant jarring and bumps of the rails sent tingles and springs of pain. Thankfully it only felt like needles in his back and not knives. Outside his window, the rolling hills of the south appeared. He passed small towns; ones with a general shop and bar, others with stores and a variety of residents. The train had air conditioning, but he put his window down anyway. He hand-tested the air as it slipped out of the window, feeling the hot air against it. He remembered reading in the paper on how the south hadn’t gotten very much rain. It air felt like it too. It was dry and the sun unforgiving. It was summer though, and it usually was hot. He swallowed some pain pills with a beer and leaned back against his seat. He smelled the alfalfa fields and wondered what Mr. Gregory was growing. When he left three years ago, there were potatoes just being planted. 

The air was much more unforgiving once his feet departed the train. The ground under his boots was dusty and soft. It was only a short walk down the road before he’d hit farmland. He rolled his shoulders, stretching his neck. “I think there is about an hour of walking before we hit the farm area,” he told Maes. 

His friend shook his head. “I will find us a car.” 

“There isn’t a rental here,” Roy informed. “We either have to walk or to catch a ride, and there’s no one here to give us a ride.” 

Maes frowned. “You’re not supposed to be exercising or straining that wound. I promised Christine…” 

Roy held up his hand to interrupt. “You don’t need to lecture me. It hurts. I don’t like it hurting. I’m not going to strain it.” 

Roy walked down the walkway and into the lackadaisical town center. Maes had never been to a rural country like this. There was a town, with a store, laundry, even a small hotel. The street signs looked new, the road was clean, and a policeman leaned against a wall outside a deli eating a sandwich. It was cozy, homey, and welcoming. It felt like he was in a modern setting of 1950 in which everyone knew everyone. In some way, Roy did feel like it was home. He’d spent too much of his childhood here. He preferred to be considered a country boy rather than a city lad. The city had great benefits of its own, but the country had Riza. 

They walked slowly to the hotel, enjoying the quick relief of air conditioning upon entry. It was older, one could tell, but it was clean and a smile greeted them from the desk. Upon Maes and his aunt’s insistent persuasion, the room had two beds which he and Maes were to share. It wasn’t like they hadn’t shared space before. At the beginning of the war, before Maes was sent back to Central with his fancy promotion, the two preferred to be together. He walked down the hall, using the old brass key to unlock the door. It was modern with a new TV and new carpeting. He sat down on the bed to feel it was more comfortable than he expected. A slight wanting of a nap called to him. 

“They do have a car rental here,” Maes said as he walked into the opened door. “I mean, it’s not a great selection, and it’s expensive, but they have it.” 

Roy leaned back, letting his body rest against the feathertop mattress. His eyes closed and he relaxed against the urge to stay awake. Being wounded and the long trip exhausted him. 

“You can stay here, I’m going to go get us a ride. And drink something.” Maes dropped the two bags and shut the door as he left. 

Roy took two breaths, letting it relax his body’s strained muscles. “I’m almost there,” he whispered to the room. “Just wait for me.” 

He wasn’t sure how long Maes had let him sleep. His friend was on the other bed with a pizza, flipping through the channels with it on mute. He smiled at him, but neither moved. “Feel better? I figured you needed the rest when the pizza arrived and it did not stir you.” 

Roy still remained silent. He looked up at the ceiling. “I need to stretch,” he groaned. “My side is killing me.” Maes sat up to help him but Roy raised his hand to stop him. “I’m okay.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have done this,” Maes quietly stated his concern. 

Roy only waved his hand at him. “Give me a few minutes and save me a slice.” 

He limped over to the door and out into the lobby. The outside was cooler now, however, still warm from the seasonal sun. The walk felt good in a way of stretching the soreness away. At the edge of the small city, however, he stopped to look down the road which would lead him to her. His feet made the decision for him, he had no choice but to allow them to wander. With hands in his pockets, he casually made his way down the road towards the Hawkeye residence. It wasn’t like he could get there before nightfall. There was probably an hour and a half left of the sun. Roy didn’t care though. “I’m not even sure what I’m looking for,” he said to himself. “I can’t wait for tomorrow to do this?” He laughed. “I hope I don’t fall then, huh. Chris will be livid with me. Shit, Maes is going to kill me once he finds out I walked out of town.” 

The fields smelled fresh, reminiscently calling to his senses. The fresh air was a relief, one that wasn’t full of sanitizations. The area was free of war and nurses. It gave him room to think. In another three weeks, he’d start his new desk job in Central command. He was wondering what lovely assignment he’d be stationed at. Part of him hoped investigations with Maes, however, it wasn’t his scene. The other part the idea of signing papers for supply inventory and requests. Recruiters lie. That’s what they do to get you to reenlist after getting shot in the line of duty. At least he’d still have a job. At least he’d be financially stable. At least he’d be close to home. 

The sky turned pink, the puffy clouds turning a deep purple on the other side of the horizon. He turned down a private street to see four horses in a field to his right. _The Calhoons must have gotten two more horses_ , he mused. _I bet she loves that._ A tall house to his right had lights on inside and he stopped at the streetside to look at it. There were no bodies in the windows nor movement. However, he couldn’t remember ever seeing all the lights on in the house. Mr. Hawkeye was a frugal man, a skill Riza picked up. It made his skin prickle with nervousness. Something was off. He still stepped forward to see the lawn had been mowed. He was the only one that ever mowed the lawn, paid by Mr. Hawkeye for three summers. He couldn’t imagine Riza ever doing it. It wasn’t outside the spectrum of reality, but she didn’t do it before or after he did. He frowned, beginning to wonder if she had a boyfriend or a husband. Someone was definitely maintaining the house. 

Roy made it to the door, holding his side as his breaths grew shorter in anticipation. His other hand gripped his metal watch in his pocket tightly, his thumb running over the military emblem. The lights were still on, someone was still awake. He knocked loudly, swallowing hard. His heart felt like it was going to burst through his ribcage, his stomach in his throat, his legs weak. The footsteps sounded slow, with two more in rapid succession. _Odd_ , he thought. _Kids?_

The door opened to see a tall man with two younger children at his feet. Roy blinked, staring confused at the scene. There was absolutely no way he was at the wrong house. “Uh,” he stammered. “My name is Major Roy Mustang,” He introduced. “I’m looking for Riza Hawkeye."

The man frowned and shook his head. “There’s no one here by that name. I’m sorry.” 

Roy rubbed the back of his neck as he swallowed loudly. “She used to live here. I’ve been trying to contact her. Do you know where she went?”

The man shook his head again. He ushered his kids inside and stepped outside, shutting the heavy door behind him. “I apologize, Major, but we bought the house two years ago. We never met the previous owners.” 

Roy sighed and looked out to the fields with the horses. “So you don’t know…” he muttered. 

The man folded his arms, looking out the horse pasture too. “I know the realtor was in a hurry to sell the home. Maybe you could talk to her?”

Roy shook his head. “I’m so very sorry to bother you, Sir. I’ll ask around tomorrow.” He turned on his heel and stepped off the short porch. He took two more steps, trying hard not to limp. 

“Major,” the man called out. “Did you walk here?”

Roy turned and nodded. “Yes, Sir. It’s okay. It was good to stretch off the train.” 

“You’re limping.” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“What happened?”

Roy held his hand to his side. “It’s nothing.” 

“No,” the man took a few steps towards Roy. “Are you staying in town? Let me drive you back.” 

Roy blinked, took another look down the road. It was a long walk back, now in the dark. He may have wanted a quiet walk back, to wallow in his failure, he couldn’t turn down a ride offered. It’d save him a day’s worth of rest and grumbling. He smiled softly as he nodded. “Thank you. Can you do me a favor? Will you let Riza know Roy is looking for her if she comes back here?”

The man quickly nodded. “Sure. I’d be happy to.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can always stop by and thank @peartato on Tumblr for her fantastic piece of art for us!


	2. You never left me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza is missing Roy and goes on a trip with her current boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank Rando29 enough for putting through with my incessant nagging to beta my fic. You're freaking amazing. Also, a huge thank you to Iamreader for reading it over and over again and insisting you are not biased and that this chapter is good.

Riza tapped the pen against her lips as she thought about the test on Friday. It always felt as if there was too much to go over, too much to read, too much to research. Saying she was overwhelmed was a giant understatement. As soon as the semester was over, she was going to grab her backpack and hit the high country. The city life drained her. School drained her. She ran her hand through her shoulder-length hair, now chewing on the end of the pen. “Positive reinforcement is the strengthening of a particular habit or behavior through a positive reward system.” It was not only overwhelming, but it was dull too. Her dorm room was small, as expected. She didn’t have any personal belongings, which terrified her roommate, Maria. The lack of belongings and personality apparently made her a serial killer. At least Maria was funny. A distinct line of personal belongings split the room of each other’s space. Maria had commandeered a microwave, which was illegal by the dorm rules and regulations, however, so was the coffee maker the Riza bought. Riza didn't care. What she did care about was passing with a grade of C or better. 

She yawned, rubbing her forehead, brushing her bangs out of the way. With a drop of her book onto her bed, she jumped up and stretched her arms to the sky. She grabbed a cold cup of coffee from her desk when she noticed a worn journal of hers. Usually, the journal would be ignored but a picture protruded out and her hand reached to remind her of it. Riza pulled back the chair, sitting down and she pulled the picture from the pages and looked at it. It was of a young man, barely an adult, leaning against a fence post. He posed for the photo as soon as he knew she was taking it. He had on dirty jeans, and she remembered they were dirty because he had removed two piles of old wood from her father's property. His shirt was loose, waving in the spring breeze. His hair was short but his smile was big, showing teeth from the corner of his mouth. "Oh, Roy," she breathed. She sighed as she continued to admire him. "I hope you're okay."

She was taken back to the day she watched him walk away. It wasn't as if her father would have noticed anyway, but they stayed out that night. She remembered how he reached out to hold her hand, how warm and firm it felt. It was obvious he didn’t want to let her go but he wanted to join the military, wanted to be able to make a change. They wandered out, letting the bright moonlight the way of their way. “I don’t want you to leave,” she admitted quietly. It wasn’t as if he had a choice at this point. She knew there was no way he could back out of his commitment. 

“I don’t want to either,” he whispered sadly. He stopped walking, standing still on the dark trail, squeezing her hand. 

Riza turned to Roy, looking up at him. He didn’t make eye contact back. He instead dropped his head, chin to his neck, his eyes tightly shut, and his hand grasping hers tighter. She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure if there was anything to say. Instead, she leaned against his shoulder, putting her other hand on his bicep. At the edge of their woodland retreat, they stood, silent as the fields. Their silhouettes were statues, stopped in the time that they held dear. He was her best friend. He was her confidant. Everything she needed he was, and he had to leave. Somewhere Riza felt that she should be happy that he was doing what he wanted. Instead, she selfishly wanted to keep him with her.

They eventually found a place to sit, leaning back in the moonlit background. It was warm enough that the crickets were singing. The horses nearby stopped the ground and snorted. The leaves on the tree chattered and the grass swayed. Everything seemed coated in a blue tint, but maybe that was just the atmosphere that loomed around them. 

“I was thinking,” he said quietly as if he didn’t want to break the silence, to begin with. “Why don’t we get married?”

Riza held in a laugh, turning it into a light chuckle. “Why would we want to do that?”

He turned onto his side so he could see her. “Don’t you love me?”

Riza turned to face him. He was incredibly handsome, and she imagined him in a uniform would be divine. His eyes were gentle, pleading with obvious hope for her to say “yes.” There was a playful smirk, one he held normally when he was about to get into trouble. But it wasn’t for play, it was for a playful idea. An idea that was down a serious road. She liked to try everything, and he was her way into the world and away from her father. But marriage wasn’t something they could just go do. “Roy,” she whispered. “I do love you. But I’m three years younger than you. I still have school left.” 

“That’s not that much younger,” he argued. His body scooted closer to hers, his hand holding his head upon his elbow, his other hand reaching out to her side. “We both know I’m going to the front lines.” 

“Roy…” 

“Marry me,” he breathed, begging her quietly, whispering in desperation. 

“Roy…” How was she supposed to say “no” to him but not a forever “no?” Marriage wasn’t something that she’d never consider, but she was still too young. “I can’t marry you just for you to disappear.” It was the traditional thing to do. Young men married their sweethearts before going to war. But she couldn’t do it. It was already too hard watching him leave.

“Riza…” a tear formed in his eye threatening to slip down his cheek. 

“Just come back to me.” She cupped his face, clean-shaven and smooth. 

“Will you wait for me?” His nose brushing hers as the request was whispered on her lips. 

She giggled before pressing her lips gently against his. It wasn’t their first kiss, and her heart hoped it wasn’t going to be their last. “You know that I’m not that kind of girl,” she said with a slight giggle as she pulled away. 

Riza didn’t know how long they spent out, wandering under the stars. She knew that she didn’t want to go back home. She preferred if they stayed out till dawn. “I have to be on the first train out,” he lamented. Six in the morning was coming too soon. Their hands held tightly as he walked her up the dirt road to her home. It felt as if it took them an hour just to walk from the street to the door. The sun would rise over the horizon in a few hours, bringing a new day. A new day without her best friend. She carefully licked her lips as she looked up at his black eyes. He shook his head with a gentle smile and a light chuckle. “I’m never going to forget how you look now.”

“What,” she tilted her head and smiled back at him. “Eyes puffy from crying and my hair a mess?”

“No,” he whispered honestly. “How beautiful you are with the deepest brown eyes I’ve ever seen, and blonde hair like the wheat harvest.” His hand touched her cheek, his thumb brushing over the corner of her lips. “How cute it is when you smile,” he leaned into her. “How your lips taste,” he breathed before his lips slipped against hers. “How _you_ taste…” 

Riza wrapped her arms around his neck as he pressed further into her. A sweet tease of a kiss turned hot with passion as his large hands pulled her close against him and her fingers found the hair on the back of his head. They parted for air just for it to be cut short and another kiss seal them together and their noses press aggressively against the other. He quickly turned them so he could press her against the siding of the house. With a deep groan from within his chest, his fingers tightened on her hips. Riza felt his need against her leg as he pressed it against her. It made her heart speed up and her legs grow weak. She had to finally push him away just so that she could catch her breath. Her hands found his chest, grabbing his shirt as she breathed roughly against his face. He smelled amazing. She’d always loved his cologne, but his own smell, organic Roy, was her weakness. Their foreheads rested on one another as their chests heaved and their hands grasped a part of the other’s clothes in their last attempt at never parting. 

“We can’t make this harder than it already is,” she reasoned. She hated herself. She hated everything, even the kiss. That damn kiss would stay with her, his taste on her lips, for months, if not a year. 

“Please don’t do this,” he begged. He looked pitifully into her eyes, leaning in to take her mouth once more. 

“God.” She begged the heavens for it never to end, for him to remain against her, pinning her against her father’s house, for eternity. But life was cruel and she gently pushed him away from her, letting a tear slide down her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Roy.” 

He nodded, biting his bottom lip. He opened and closed his mouth a few more times before stepping away from her. “Yeah,” he coughed lightly while wiping his eyes. “Yeah, better not make it any more complicated than it is.” It was terrible to see him like this. 

They stood quietly, staring at each other before she smiled and laughed at the humor that neither would leave first. “You’re going to have to walk away.” 

“Why?”

“Because I don’t ever want to shut the door on you.” 

“You’d rather see me walk away?”

“One day I hope to see you walk back.” 

With another light kiss to her lips and one to her forehead, he took a step back. “I’ll see you later, Riza.” 

“Be safe, Roy.” 

Riza came back to reality as some young adults ran down the hall screaming. She turned to look at her textbook, debating to go back to studying, but Roy stayed in her mind. She wondered what he’d be studying. What he’d be doing _right now_ . She wondered what would have happened if he didn’t join the military? Would he have stayed in school at Eastern College? Would he have gone to Central to work with his Aunt? Would he have stayed and taken her away from the hell hole she lived in? Riza looked back at the picture for a moment before leaning back into her chair. _Would we have gotten married? Would I have been brave enough to say yes?_

She remembered when they did first kiss. They didn’t even know what to do. Being older now allowed her to realize the embarrassment on his part to be kissing someone younger than him. Three years wasn’t that much younger to adult, but to teens it was. And to the young man, it was kissing a fifteen-year-old. He could have easily gone and had gotten a girlfriend, but as far as she knew he didn’t. It wasn’t a forceful kiss, more like a sweet “you’re cute” kiss; a kiss that you got at a kissing booth. And as she got older, the kisses grew more passionate. They got better at them. Just thinking about kissing him made her stomach warm and she naturally licked her lower lip imagining his lips on hers. She’d forgotten what he tasted like, which disappointed her greatly. She never forgot what they felt like. 

One afternoon, after she got out of school, she ran over to his place. No one else was home and she usually just walked in anyway. He popped his head out with a banana hanging out of his mouth. He was in gym shorts with a tank top on. “You beat me to the punch,” he called down the hall with his mouth full. 

“Hurry up!” She dropped her school bag and rummaged through his kitchen. His aunt kept the best fruits. She didn’t usually have fruits. She had to grow her own vegetables. Eating and hanging out with Roy and his aunt was the highlight of her week. Leaning against the counter, she looked outside at the sunny hills. They were going to hike all the way up the top of Joseph’s peak. There was barely a trail, and they didn’t have a map, but she was so excited to be outside. It felt as if Roy was taking forever, so she walked down the hall to his room. His door was open and she peeked in. It wasn’t like she was embarrassed, or a thought crossed her mind about inappropriateness. He was her best friend. They were rarely ever apart! As she bit into her apple, she looked over to see him putting a belt on and shirtless. The apple dropped from her hand onto his hardwood floor. Her body froze and her mouth filled with saliva. 

Suddenly, he was _sexy_.

Before, they were friends to her. Friends that had kissed. Friends that mildly cuddled. But she had no… sexual attraction to him. 

That was then. This was now. 

He laughed at her reaction, grinning amusingly. “Sorry, did you not know I was this hot?” 

“When did the six-pack come in?” She muttered and pointed at his stomach. 

He only laughed. He walked over to her, pulling his shirt over his head. “Have you looked in the mirror? I’ve been wondering when you got those?” He pointed to her chest. 

Maybe it wasn’t the best thing for him to say, but that’s how they were. They were casual. She only blushed and swatted him away. “I’m not asking you when you got a dick!” 

“Come here, you,” he grinned as he leaned over to her in for a short kiss. It was a short kiss that she pulled him deeper into. It was impressive, at least to her, how fast her hands found his sides and how tight her hands gripped his shirt. The kiss led to him into pressing her against the wall. Her whole body felt jittery, her spine-shivering with excitement as he crashed into her. Their mouths opened as their tongues played. She felt him lap at her tongue, sucking her into his mouth. His arm rested on the wall above her while the other held her hip against his pelvis. It was also the first time she felt his erection. At fifteen, she wasn’t even sure what to do with it! Her cheeks blushed and grew hot as she felt more embarrassed. He groaned when her hand let go of his shirt and drifted lower to feel it. 

He pulled back from the kiss, grasping her wrist quickly and pulling it from him. “Don’t,” he whispered. 

“Roy! Are you still home?”

Both of them looked at the doorway. 

“Fuck,” Roy growled. “Yeah, Chris, I’m home. Hold on!” 

“Oh, Is Riza here?” 

“Yes,” she called from the bedroom. 

Roy waved her out as he put his hands on his head and started breathing deeply. “Go, go,” he whispered. 

“Roy! You can’t go for that hike until you take the trash out like I asked.” 

“I got it! Don’t worry about it,” he called back.

She took one last look of his scrunched face, full of concentration, before walking out to play it cool with his aunt. 

Their relationship was more complicated from that point forward and he had to be careful of where he stood in the world. With a fresh taste of each other, they sought privacy to explore more of one another. And at the end of the day, they were still friends. They still were there for each other. It was something powerful. When they’d go out to the pond and throw rocks, they were not always there to kiss and grope. Some days they’d talk, skip rocks, and go for long hikes. Even as a teen, she realized how much he respected her. And as an adult, it made it harder for her to see other men. He had set an unreachable standard. 

Riza put the picture down on the desk as she returned to the present and scratched the side of her head. She hadn’t heard from him in years now. Their communication was only through letters. He had explained that he didn’t get very many calls while he was in training and although he wanted to hear her voice, he found it useless to fight for the phone on most days.

“I don’t know why you like him,” her father had grumped one day at the dinner table. 

“He was just a good friend. I’m worried about him.” She poked at her salad. 

The old man scoffed, picking up his coffee. “Don’t lie to me, Riza. I’m not a stupid old man like you think I am.” 

Maybe she’d been lying to herself this whole time. He had always been more than just a good friend. 

Then her father grew ill. Not just sick like he had been. Her father’s health declined so fast that there was no stopping it. The doctor only came to the house to tell her that he was going to die soon. She was on her own. The realization of her sudden and complete independence terrified her. Her father had no money to leave her, not that she knew of. She worked full time as it was but her savings was not something that she’d be able to eat from yet. She rummaged through papers, books, drawers, looking for a will. The house was torn apart in madness. She looked for anything that might be of use. _Even if I found it, what am I supposed to do with it?_ _What am I even looking for?_

With days left before her father would die, she sat down and wrote Roy. She begged him to come home, to help her. She needed him above anyone else. She didn’t know what to do with the property, or the estate, or how she was going to properly support herself. It was overwhelming. At the bottom of the letter, her hand shook and tears fell onto the paper. She quickly wiped them off, smearing a few letters. She looked at it, feeling the heaviness of despair. _Even if he did get it, would he have the ability to come to help me? He would at least write me back, right?_ She rubbed her forehead, leaning over the paper, holding back the incoming sobs. “God damn it,” she muttered to the paper. “Roy, just come help me.” She put the pen to the paper, holding it there for a second more. Finally, her fingers guided the pen. “Forever yours, _Forever yes_ , Riza.” 

Her father passed two days later, but his letter returned two weeks later. It brought her, even more, fear and uncertainty. He couldn’t come to her. He explained how he wanted with his whole heart and soul to be there for her. He promised to call as soon as he could, (which wouldn’t be for another week) and he apologized four times. She noticed the little sharp shakes in his penmanship and knew that he was just as upset. Underneath it all, he couldn’t help her, no matter how much he wanted to. All he could do was tell her to stay level headed and don’t make any decisions based on emotion.

In her living room, Riza collapsed in tears. She should have never said no.

The next day, with a neighbor’s help, she began to sell everything. The only things she kept were his letters, a few books, and clothes she’d need. She applied for Central University, and packed up, leaving the house to a realtor to sell. Nothing kept her at her father’s house. Roy wasn’t coming to help her. She couldn’t wait. She had to do this herself. She had been independent before, she could be now. She was not a person to wallow in her own sadness. Things needed to be done, life needed to go on, and Riza wasn’t going to be left behind. 

She remembered how emotionally distraught she was. Resentment still lingered, still pained her even as she was sitting in a dorm room by herself. “I’d still love to see him,” she admitted. “I’d forgive him if I could just see him again.” She wasn’t even sure he was alive. She had absolutely no information on him. Once one of the letters was returned, she had no idea how to get a hold of him. She reached out to his aunt but even she said that he wasn’t writing her lately, and had no news. Fear engulfed her. Every day, she’d check the mail. But she was going to have to learn patience in the worst way possible. Instead, she hoped he’d write soon with a new address, one she could reply back to.

She’d written him a few more times but never sent the letters. One was her first day in the dorms. She said that she had looked at the twin bed and wondered if they both could hide under the covers on it. She told him that the cafeteria food was better than at her boarding school, a thousand times better than her father’s food, but nothing tasted like the burger place from her home town after a long hike. She hoped to find a place in Central like that. Another letter told him how she had found some great hiking trails and had already gotten lost once. She went on about how one of her friends did not like the outdoors at all and it boggled Riza to how the woman could stay indoors her whole life. One of her last letters told him that she ached for his touch. She would wake up and imagine him holding her from behind, snoring lightly into her hair. She’d dreamed of him often. There was a man that usually sat in front of her that had the same aftershave. “I’m not sure I love having him in class or hate him,” she wrote. “Every day he’s there I can’t focus because I’m thinking of my hands on your smooth cheeks just before you’d kiss me.” 

“What if you’re writing a dead guy,” her roommate wondered out loud. “I mean, no one knows he’s alive. Not even his aunt.” 

Riza frowned, folding the paper and sticking it in the old, worn, journal. It was the hard truth. “I’m hoping that Chris at least calls me when she gets the news…” It didn’t mean the thought never crossed her mind. She was always trying to convince herself that he was just… busy.

“You don’t even mail them. Why do you write them?” 

_Because I need to talk to him._

* * *

After her exams, which she was sure she did poorly on because she spent most of the night daydreaming instead of studying, she settled into a cafe off-campus. It played jazz, had TVs on, and all the books of the latest popularity one could read. Her spot was in the corner on a beanbag. She’d toss her phone and computer into her backpack, turn them off, and listen to the music while reading a magazine or book. It had become a comfort place, where the world couldn’t find her and she could leave the stressed and worried Riza at the door. She let the music purify her. Her foot bobbed up and down as she licked her finger to turn the page of her magazine. 

“I was wondering if I’d find you here,” a voice called out. 

Riza looked up, trying not to look too annoyed, even though she was. Who dared to interrupt her at that moment? Her short, thin roommate with a short haircut waved casually at her. She smiled as she strolled over to her. “Maria,” Riza greeted. 

“You weren’t in the room,” she explained her presence. “So I thought you might be here.” 

“Why was finding me so important?”

“That guy Tyler was looking for you.” 

Riza huffed and looked back at her magazine. Tyler. He was an interesting person. He was tall, stood out in a crowd with a dorky grin and lean body. He was incredibly funny and knew so. But Riza did like him. He was fun and spontaneous. The annoying part about Ty was that he wanted to be with her most of his day. It wasn’t as if he was protective, or stalker-like. Tyler just liked to be with her… All the time. That is why she liked to have private time. “He asked if I wanted to go North with him next week after finals.”

Maria crossed her arms as she looked down at her friend. “You two have known each other for four months. Don’t you think that is too soon to run off together?”

She snickered. “Yes, I do. But he’s nice. I think it will be good to know each other better.” She looked up at her dark-haired friend. “If he drives me nuts I will just drag him into some museums and bore him.”

“That sounds fun. I like museums. So you are going to go?” 

Riza nodded as she tapped her chin, thinking. “I think so. He’s just loud. I can deal with that. I have opera.” 

“Oh,” Maria giggled. “He’s fun. You need wild and fun.” 

Riza smirked. “I have time off from work-study. He said he wanted to see a bear.” 

“A bear?” Maria blinked as if Tyler had asked to see an alien. 

“Yeah,” she laughed. 

“He does know those things eat you, right?”

“I told him that, but he started saying he’d kung fu it.” She looked back in her magazine. “I think he would try too.” She folded the magazine as Maria plopped down in the beanbag next to her. One of the things she did appreciate about Maria was that she was quiet, didn’t get into gossip, and was level headed. She was the friend everyone needed to keep them out of trouble. She didn’t get worked up easily. There were days that the two of them could stay up in the dorms and just listen to music, which Maria also very much loved, and talk. “Don’t get me wrong,” Riza began. “Ty is a nice guy, and I like him. I like him a lot. But he does like to go all out.”

Maria tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?” 

“I don’t have the money to split a trip to the North with him. And he insisted I just go with him. He has too much money. Did I tell you his father is some judge? Or lawyer. Or… whatever. Anyway, he’s freeloading off his dad. So he has money.” 

“Is that honestly a bad thing?” She started to look through the magazine pile between them. 

“I suppose not.” Riza sighed, staring at the magazine cover. “He booked a first-class ticket, with a private room on the train going up there. He got a private cabin instead of a hotel room. He booked a sightseeing trip to see a said bear, and we are having dinner at a first-class restaurant on top of a mountain. The guy tosses money around like it’s candy at a parade.” 

Riza looked up to see Maria’s eyes huge and her mouth open in shock. 

“It just makes me uncomfortable. I like him. But this is too much money for a flimsy relationship that is not well established.” 

“You have been dating for four months.” Maria nodded. “I mean, if you like him, and want to make it more serious, it could be fun. If not, I’d tell him now.” She was just as reasonable as Riza. They both chose to look at things logically. “You don’t think he’s going to take you up there and murder you do you?”

Riza laughed. “Ty? No. He’s too much of a dork. It would be me that’d murder him.” 

Maria snickered as she opened an old newspaper and looked through it absentmindedly. “It makes sense. You didn’t have that kind of money growing up. If you’re uncomfortable, maybe I should go just to throw him off-kilter.” 

“He asked if you wanted to,” Riza admitted quietly. She picked up her late and took a drink from it. It was so smooth, a perfect blend of her a light roast, nutty, and flavorful whipped up to a thick creamy taste of heaven. It could only be ended with a hum of satisfaction. “He told me he didn’t want me to feel obligated to go by myself.” 

“This guy is too perfect.” Maria squinted her eyes. “Too much money, too gentlemanly. Maybe this is where he tries to get into your pants.” 

Riza looked up and raised an eyebrow. “I thought of that. He mentioned the romantic lighting of the mountains.” She sighed. “I’m not sure. I’m worried that he will try to make me feel obligated with all the money.” 

“That doesn’t fit his prototype.” Maria threw the paper aside and picked up another one. “As much as I have known him, I think you will have fun.”

“If you want to go, I can tell him. Maybe we can double date and you can bring Denny.” 

“I’m actually meeting with Denny here. We are going to lunch at Amos. He’s going to come with me to visit my parents. I need to warn him about my father.” 

Riza looked up from her reading and turned towards the window. “Getting serious?”

“I think I like him.” Maria blushed.

As she turned from her friend to glance absentmindedly out the window, she noticed a familiar form walked by the door. Her eyes grew and her heart stopped. There was no mistaking the black mop head of hair, the dark eyes, or the wide grin. She was even sure she could hear him laughing. He was another man who put his arm over his shoulders and shook him back and forth before the two went out of view. While Maria was talking about Denny, Riza threw her magazine to the side and rushed out the door. It took her half the steps to leave as it did for her to enter. As she threw open the door and looked in the direction the figure was walking. There was no one there. She blinked, sure of what she saw. 

“What did you see?”

Riza turned to her dark-haired friend. “I thought I saw Roy.” 

“You mean the one of a kind, your lost soldier boy, Roy?”

Riza rubbed her face with frustration. 

“Maybe you do need to go out on this trip with Ty. You have to get over this guy.” 

“I saw him,” she insisted. 

“Maybe it was his ghost?”

“You believe in ghosts?” Riza turned and reentered her sanctuary. 

Her roommate was quick to argue. “I don’t! But Denny sure does.” 

Riza frowned. “I guess I better get going. I probably should find Tyler and get a plan with him for next week.” She could have sworn that she saw Roy though. She did, there was no doubt about it. But he was gone. What did that mean? Her heart couldn’t stop beating loudly in her ears and her hands shook at her side. “I hope your lunch is good,” she said as she grabbed her backpack, shoving everything she had into it. 

“Riza?” Maria tilted her head as she followed her roommate out the door. She watched as Riza walked quickly away and around the corner towards the school. She stood there confused before she heard someone behind her. She turned to see this guy and his friend leave the copy place next to the cafe. 

“What are you advertising there?” The one man asked. 

The other gentleman, the one with the glasses grinned. “Advertising my wedding. They are going all over town. Everyone in Central is going to know.” 

Maria frowned, rolling her eyes as she turned and went back into the coffee shop. 

* * *

The dorm room wasn’t big. They didn’t have an entryway or not one that was useful. Riza considered it to be a large studio with one window and one closet. It was perfect for her. She didn’t need space, and Maria kept to herself. They had coexisted quietly. Normally, Riza would have had to leave the dorms for the summer, however, her work-study allowed her to stay. Since the train did not leave until the afternoon and she was already packed. She just had to clean up her side a little and make her bed. That gave her an extra hour and a half of sleep than she’d normally get. Riza was particularly excited about this. Maria was moving into an apartment with Denny, and the other students had moved out or were in the process, so the place was quiet. She could indulge herself in the little pleasures of silence the building had missed over the course of the last eight months. 

A loud banging, insistent, consistent, and unrelenting pounding on her flimsy door woke her. She jumped at first before rolling over and groaning. It was the one day that she didn’t want to be a morning person. However, it was not a surprise in the least when she saw a smiling Tyler on the other side of the door. 

“Wakey wakey!” He grinned. His dark blonde hair looked like he hadn’t done it for the day and was wearing a free t-shirt you’d get from a fair or event. “I thought we’d go out for breakfast before the train.” He leaned against the doorway with a wide grin. "Then we can get to the train early to get settled into our _private_ cabin.” He was eccentric and draining to her when his presence was excessive.

“Do you ever sleep,” she blinked. 

“Not when the sun is up,” Tyler snickered. 

“Tell me,” Riza crossed her arms. “Does this private car have a bed?”

He nodded excitedly. 

“A bed?”

“Two, as my lady requested.” He made a funny bow with his arm across his chest as if he was bowing in the medieval times.

 _He is such a dork._ “Let me get dressed and I’ll be out.” 

To Riza’s amazement, the private cabin on the train was relaxing. She doubted she’d ever see or experience anything like this again so she sucked the experience up. He ordered them drinks and some food. It was a two day trip with only two stops. The room gave her quiet from the rest of the train and a private bathroom. Tyler was already spoiling her. For a dork, he knew how to go all out. He wanted to take her to the dining car, but she insisted on staying in and relaxing in her ordinary clothes. “Then let's go in our PJs,” he offered. “You think anyone will mind my mushroom sweatpants?” 

She got dressed for dinner. 

The North was chilly year-round, with the mountains constantly topped with snow. She’d never been to North City. The majestic mountains towered around her, the city ornate with statues and a large town square. The place was obviously ready for tourism as there were plenty of gift shops and restaurants. It was no surprise to see Drachian food and style of clothing. They were close to the border. She followed him as he walked confidently to the car rental. She thought about wandering around, but she wasn’t even sure where she’d go. 

The cabin was just out of town. As expected, it was larger with three bedrooms, an open kitchen, and large living room. “This is more space than we need,” she commented as she dropped her bag in the living room. It was complete with a fireplace and bearskin rug. _So cinematic,_ she thought amused. Wood beams on the top supported hanging lights and a small antered chandelier. _It’s like the owners are trying too hard._ The view overlooked the grand mountain range. The deck outside had a bbq with some seats to overlook the stunning sunset over the lush forests of spruce and pine. Above the stone fireplace were two large deer mounts, majestically overlooking the rest of the cabin as if they were guardians of the forest. 

“I like the big windows,” Tyler nodded in approval as he came up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, putting his head on top of hers. “This is is better than I thought.” 

She laughed as her hand patted his. “You’re spoiling me.” 

“Hey,” he stepped back and walked to the bags. “I’m not going to see a bear in some hotel in town!” He picked up his and her bag, walking to the stairs to the loft area. “Now for the uncomfortable question. Do you want one of the other bedrooms, or are you going to be with me?”

It was an uncomfortable question, but Riza was glad he asked and not just assumed she’d sleep with him. She turned to follow him up the stairs. “If you don’t mind, I would like to have my own room.” 

He nodded, smiling at her. But she could see his sparkling blue eyes disappointed. She picked the room across from his. The queen bed had red flannel sheets with a thick quilt. _I suppose it would be weird if it had seashell sheets,_ she admitted to herself. 

Her absence in his room did not mean that they were not close. The first night, he went into town and picked up some food. They made a fire and played a game of checkers. And apparently checkers was more intense than she first remembered. “This is supposed to be a game for kids.” She laughed, getting jumped again. 

“A misconception,” he clarified, raising a finger. “But I will be honest. I’m not very good at anything else.” He grinned with a drink of his beer. 

As the sunset, the room quieted and the light dimmed to just the fire. She found herself leaning into him, his arm around her, as she watched the flames dance. Dinner had made her sleepy and the wine made her relax. He put his feet up on the coffee table, leaning his head back. “Thank you for coming,” he whispered. 

She looked up at him, seeing him looking at her with a droopy eye. “I’m glad you asked me to go.” He was warm with the house cooling down with the night. As she curled up against him, she debated not leaving the couch. She would have liked to stay there all night listening to the fire die before them, listening to him snore lightly. However, a busy day lay ahead. She patted his thigh and sat up. “Come on, Ty. Let’s get to bed. We both know we will be up early.” 

“I was hoping to see the sunrise,” he muttered. 

She laughed. “Then I will make the coffee.” 

He followed her up the stairs, yawning loudly. As they stopped outside their rooms, he stopped her, grabbing her elbow. She turned to ask him “what” when he kissed her. They’d kissed before, but not like this. She felt the intention behind it. Feelings surged through his body into hers, lighting her on fire. Their lips pressed firmly together, the suction holding them perfectly as if it was meant to happen between them. His nose pressed against hers. Her hand reached up to cup his face as his lips slipped from hers. “Goodnight,” he whispered. 

She half expected him to make a comment like “my door will be open” or “are you sure you won’t be too cold?” But he instead turned quietly and entered his room. She lingered for a second more, needing to analyze what he’d just done. It was unlike anything he’d given her as far as physical affection. It was usually a sweet kiss, or maybe a playful one, but not intimate like this. Not so strong that she was tempted to follow him into his bedroom. A voice argued that they didn’t need to do anything but touch him, to smell him, and feel his love. It pressed her to believe that she’d be okay and he’d respect her. She knew that was true, but she couldn’t go back on her request could she? Her own covers were cold, the pillows absorbing her head. The darkness was still, unsettling so that Riza almost feared it. Not even the house creaked as it settled, or moaned at the wood warped with the cold air outside. For the first time since she had started college, she felt uncomfortable being alone. 

The house came alive in the morning, her ears waking her with his steps outside in the hall. He tried to be quiet. She could hear his quiet steps slowly and intentionally going to the bathroom. Riza yawned and rolled over in her bed. The cabin felt colder than last night as she pulled back the covers to start the coffee as promised. She scratched her head as she opened the door to see him smiling at her from the end of the hall. His head was a mess and he had on a baggy t-shirt with black boxers on. “Good morning,” she muttered. 

“Hey, Beautiful,” he greeted. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her in her PJs, but it was her first time seeing him so exposed. She couldn’t be surprised. They were alone. She half expected them to know each other a bit more like this. They were playing house in a sense. “Hi,” she groaned. 

He pointed to his hair then to hers. “Sleep good?” 

She grinned as she nodded back. “Looks like your pillow won the wrestling match against your head.” 

He snickered. “I’m guessing you want me to put pants on?” He leaned against his doorway. 

She shrugged. “It’s cold. I’m not going to make you bundle up. But I’m going to find a sweater and long johns.” 

“I’ll get a fire going,” he called as he entered his room. “I’m looking forward to that promised coffee.” 

His hand grazed her hip as he passed her in the kitchen, reaching into the fridge for cream. Why was she so sensitive to his touch? It’s not like he had never touched her before. “Good morning,” he whispered as he kissed her cheek. “I do hope you slept well.” 

_He is too perfect_ , she screamed to herself. _How can he be this perfect? Where did that overconfident, loud-mouthed, jokester go?_ She watched as he put his hand in his pocket, drinking his coffee as he looked out the back door. The steam rising from his cup made the picture of him seem something from an L.L. Bean magazine advertising husbands. It felt too perfect and her skin crawled. Nothing was ever this perfect in her life. _I should have begged Maria to come along._ Riza was starting to feel conflicted with herself and she didn’t like it. She couldn't put her guard down so easily, however that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the moment. 

Her boyfriend came back to life as they wandered about, being tourists. She wandered in and out of gift shops as they waited until they had to meet their tour guide. She was looking at shirts when he jumped around the corner growling at her. Riza nearly punched him. He had a bear hat and claw slippers on his hands, looking ridiculous with his stupid signature grin on. He was obviously completely satisfied with her reaction. “I’m a bear,” he smirked. “Rawr.” He pointed behind him. “There’s a moose hat too, but I think it’s for kids…” 

“When you grow up and decide to look in the adult section, you can find me near the keychains.” 

He laughed as he wiggled his finger at her. “I know how you are,” he argued lightly. “You will be in the sticker section, or maybe the cork guns.” He then burst into laughter. “Hey! I can dress as a bear and you can shoot me with a cork gun!” 

“Usually it’s the guy who makes jokes about shooting his gun,” she waved. “But whatever fantasy you have, I can play along.” 

He didn't seem fazed even though the whole store could hear them. “You’ll need to dress up as a sexy moose so that I can eat you,” he snarked back. 

Riza held back a blush as she turned into the aisle of books. “I thought we clarified that I don’t do biting. Only spanking.” 

It was more than she wanted to say. It’d be normal banter for them at the university, but here, they were alone. She didn’t want him to feel as if she was inviting him to that kind of behavior. He walked up behind her and picked the book ahead of her. “You can have whatever you want,” he assured. 

“I don’t need anything,” she sighed lightly, putting the book back. He’d seen her side of the dorm room. She didn’t have belongings. The idea of his just splurging money on her was not impressive if that was what he was aiming to do. He’d already spent too much on tours and the cabin. She was expecting dinner to be rich too. Although he argued that it was only for him to see a real-life bear, it seemed as if he was trying too hard with her. She turned to see him frown, tilting his head to the side. “I guess I could use a t-shirt,” she recanted. It was in hopes to see him smile and not offend his offer. When she expected him to say something about him taking the shirt off her later, he didn’t. He only nodded, put his hands in his pockets and strolled away. 

For the most part, the trip had been enjoyable. Maria was right in saying that it’d be good for the two of them to connect like this. It was lackadaisical as let them enjoy quiet mornings, and little rush to do anything. The hiking trails outside their door were quickly explored. The tall trees swayed, the trail worn, and the air crisp in her lungs as she took in the woodland smell of pine. She was the happiest she’d been in a long time. Then, at night, he’d kiss her, just as he had done on the first night, and then go into his own room. She bit her bottom lip, tasting the bourbon he had before bed. There surely was the plan to lure her in with such emotional and sensual bait. Riza wouldn’t deny that she was falling for it. 

Then Roy happened. She couldn’t even escape his memory there. She leaned against the back railing, watching the sun peer from behind the clouds. She could only think of him and how he’d be calling her to join him on a trail. He’d be looking for a lost lake or reading on forestry services. This was a place she could see him living, surrounded by nature. 

“Dinner is in about an hour. Are you ready?” 

She blinked a few times hearing Tyler behind her. He had on a button-up collared shirt with slacks. The top button was undone and his hair was somewhat combed to her surprise. 

“We can go in our pajamas if you’d rather.” 

She realized that she was in sweats and a long-sleeved shirt and gasped. “Shit! Let me go get ready!” 

In a long skirt and blue blouse, she allowed him to open the car door for her. They drove to a nearby resort which was about twenty minutes from them. The hiking trails were abundant and a waterfall greeted them as they pulled up to valet. A large statue of a bear stood towered over them as they entered the large glass and golden doors. Tyler pointed to it with a grin. The whole ride up the gondola he was looking out the windows, looking down. He pointed to something and waved her over. 

“Look at the waterfall,” he whispered. “It’s so blue.” 

She nodded as she took in the view. It felt like they were floating to heaven. She could see everything. The resort’s lights slowly illuminated below her and she was sure they were about to have an incredibly romantic evening under the moon and stars. _This is not to see a bear. This is for you. He’s taking you to dinner._

Dinner was the most elaborate setting. There was more silverware on the table than she had at her father’s house. The white places were ringed with gold laying. The napkins were soft, folding to greet her. The waiter pulled her chair out and pushed her into the table before handing her a wine guide. “I didn’t expect this,” she whispered nervously. 

“Neither was I,” he lied. “I don’t see a hamburger anywhere on this menu.” 

“You’re such an asshole,” she snorted. 

“Do you like seafood? He pointed to his menu. “They have scallops.” 

“Tyler,” she whispered louder.

He looked up, smiling gently at her. “Riza, just order whatever you want. I’ll take care of it.” 

“It’s not the prices,” she argued, still trying to be quiet. “It’s that you’re overwhelming me with these gestures.” 

“So?”

She looked around nervously, waiting for the server to come back with their wine. “So,” she started. “It just feels like…” She couldn’t say what she felt. “First you play off this kiss at the end of the day. And you play “house” so easily. Then you take me on these tours looking for bears,” she said with her fingers in quotations. “And now this?”

“Are you saying that I’m trying to get you to sleep with me?”

Riza didn’t say anything as she looked down at her menu. 

“Is it working?” He snickered at his own joke.

She grumped with a frown. 

“Riza,” he said gently, reaching across the table to touch her hand. “I hope that you don’t feel obligated about anything. If you’re uncomfortable, we can grab a pizza and go pig out on the bearskin.” 

“No,” she dismissed quietly. “I don’t want to be rude.” 

“If you don’t want me to do any of that, I won’t.” 

She shook her head and waved her hand. “It’s just… awkward…” 

He patted her hand. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Let’s just have dinner.”

He nodded and looked back at his menu for a second before peering over the edge at her. “But the kisses are nice right?”

She giggled. “Yes, the kisses are nice.” 

“Good. I think I will be getting the cranberry braised pork with the asparagus.”

She began to feel bad for even accusing him of such deviance. He made great conversation, was funny, and brought her out in ways that she didn’t know of herself. As she laughed at his funny stories, she realised how right Maria was. She needed this, she needed to move forward and to fall in love. He curled a stray hair behind her ear as she began to tell him how she took an opera course last semester. “It’s just studying different cultures, styles and such,” she explained as she sipped her wine. “But then we get into the songs and the professor cannot sing. I mean, he must have been a smoker because it was not working for him.” 

Tyler laughed. 

“It was tone-deaf karaoke.” She giggled, taking another drink of her wine. “Then,” she cleared her throat. “Then we go to the stage, and we are learning about projection. There’s a reason this and that. And he starts bellowing into the empty theatre. I know he thought he was a mezzo-soprano, but he is not!” She put her glass down on the table. “Did you know that opera theatres are shaped a certain way just to receive sound?” Remembering that she told Maria she’d just bore him with opera turned out to intrigue him with opera. 

“I thought you were into music. You’re into acting too? Doing the musical thing?”

Riza shook her head quickly. “No, Ty, I'm exclusively music.” 

“With opera and classical, I'm sure you think pop music is boring then?”

Riza laughed. “No, I find music an organic part of culture. Modern music today is fun to listen to because it’s us, and what we are. So I enjoy it.”

“Modern music is us,” he nodded as he repeated her. “I think that is right on.” 

He opened the door to the cabin, letting her in. He started emptying his pockets onto the kitchen counter as she took off her jacket and put it over the couch. Leaning against the counter, she admired his smile. His blue eyes sparkled, desiring her. She could see it with the half curved smile and his raised eyebrows. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but she wasn’t intimidated. The way he looked, the whole atmosphere, just felt right. It felt as if she was in a fantasy, a movie at the part where they realized their passion for each other. He stood up and walked over to her, stopping before their bodies connected. She felt his hand grab her waist and he leaned close to her. Her body felt hot, her mouth dry and her hand wet. No one had been this close to her in three years. 

“I suppose this is the part where I give you a goodnight kiss,” Tyler whispered onto her lips. 

Riza opened her mouth and nodded dumbly. Their noses brushed. Instinctual desire sprung from her. Riza leaned up, grabbing his sides as she connects with him. A groan against her lips made her knees weak and she felt him push her against the couch. It was a dangerous game she was playing with herself. Her hands tightened their hold on his shirt as she pulled back, gasping for air. Tyler didn’t move. He grinned as he looked into her eyes capturing her. 

“I’m not sure what prompted that,” he snickered. “But I won’t complain.” 

She knew quite well he knew where that came from. It seemed like hours went by as they stood in the living room, her hands grasping at his clothes as she let herself be taken off her feet. Her fingers fumbled with his buttons as his hands slid under her blouse. If there were any alarms, she silenced them. As his last button dropped from its hole, her hands felt his chest. 

He pulled back to take his shirt off. He raised her eyebrows, turning to go upstairs. Riza made up her mind. She’d go to bed with him. She’d decide then if she was to have sex or not, but she was going to let him into her bubble and start letting him physically love her. 

“See what happens when you let your walls down,” he chuckled as he followed her. 

She stopped cold. “What?”

“You know,” he explained. “Actually let someone love you.” 

Riza was not sure how calling her out made her so irritable. She felt so exposed suddenly. It felt as if he knew all along and was just waiting, wanting her to relax; but in all the wrong ways. Whether it was or wasn't his intentions, Riza flinched inside. 

She heard him take a few steps towards her. “Honestly,” he continued when he shouldn’t have. “I don’t blame you. You’ve had it pretty rough. But I’m glad that I can help you understand that it’s okay to have fun and let your guard down.” 

An innocent statement to be sure, but Riza felt so wrong about it. “Is there something wrong with me?” She turned to face him, seeing his eyes go wide and his hands shoot up between them in defense. “Am I just a project for you? A game?”

He shook head quickly. “I think you’re overthinking what I said.”

“I am, aren’t I? You know how I feel. I’ve told you this before. And then you play this whole game just to prove to me that normal people live happy lives. That you can fix my past and layout some beautiful fake future for me?”

Tyler blinked, his eyes wide with shock with how sudden this had come on. 

She put her face in her hands. “Did you ever think that maybe normal people don’t live these lives? You can’t buy me, Ty.” 

“I didn’t think I was,” he continued to defend. “I just wanted to help you.” 

“I don’t need your help ” 

“You don’t let anyone in! You have no possessions! I can’t even have a full-bodied relationship with you because you’re so afraid I’m going to leave you!” 

“What?” She removed her hands and blinked angrily at him. 

“You can’t assume everyone is going to leave you like that Roy guy,” he spat. 

She had told him about Roy. When they were first dating she had confessed Roy to him in normal conversation. “Are you trying to fill his spot,” she whispered the accusation. 

“No,” he raised his voice. “I’m trying to make you realize that some people aren’t going to leave you like he did! The world isn’t out there to abandon you!” 

She groaned as she started towards the stairs before stopping and turning back around. She went to say something, but Tyler cut her off. 

“Didn’t you ever think that I wanted to be that kind of important to you?”

“By how? Proving to me that you can buy me whatever I want?”

Tyler threw his hands up, as he turned from her. He rubbed his face tiredly as he turned back to face her. “I just wanted you to feel… You know what?” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “I think we need to just step back and talk about this later.” 

Riza shook her head. “I think I will be by myself tonight,” she clarified, turning on her heel and walked heavily up the steps. 

“You’re always going to be by yourself unless you let someone in,” he called to her. 

She’d never felt so exposed. She needed to put walls onto her walls. 

* * *

She leaned over the bar as she waved the bartender down. Maria bumped her shoulder. “I think your music literary class will be fun,” she said loudly. “Did you decide to take the firearm marksmanship class with me?”

Riza nodded as she sat back down on her stool. “Yeah. I think Ty dropped that class. He was only taking it because I was.” 

“Oh good,” Maria nodded. “Have you met your new dorm partner yet?”

She shook her head. “No. Not till Wednesday. Should I prank her?”

“Oh! Put skulls and witchcraft stuff all over your side,” Maria laughed. 

A beer slammed on the bar next to Riza. She turned to see who would make such an announcement next to her. She hoped it wasn’t Tyler. She was still feeling bad about their spat during their vacation, and drunk enough she’d probably take him back. Instead, a pair of black eyes behind black hair greeted her. Her heart stopped and her body froze, every part of her body shivered with goosebumps as if she’d seen a ghost. He smiled as if he’d just seen her yesterday, leaning against the bar. It was everything she needed, all at once and she was unable to react the way every other person would. Instead, she smiled back, sighing loudly a relief that was held for too long. He was coming back to her, just as he left; when she needed him most. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH snap! 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Don't be afraid to say so! I feed off comments like a 9-year-old on fruit roll-ups.  
> And check me out on Tumblr @snowdog49. 
> 
> UPDATE: Someone needs to go visit @peartato on Tumblr and say thank you for the art!
> 
> Have a good one!


	3. Long Time No See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finds her

Roy walked out of the office rolling his shoulders. Making sure three-hundred soldiers had the correct sized boots was harder than he realized. With a roll of his neck, he opened the doors to the outside, watching a few privates walk past him without a further glance. He could have, maybe should have, reprimanded them for not saluting an officer, but he’d rather be on his way home than waste another minute at headquarters. There were other officers that would find the disrespecting soldiers and give them reprimand. If Roy was being honest with himself, he envied them. Life was simpler for them with the lack of responsibility. There was once a time he remembered that kind of freedom. Back in the day when the boots were issued to you and there weren’t four forms to fill out for one uniform. He sighed heavily. None of it had to matter anymore. He had a cold beer in the fridge waiting for him at home. 

“Yo, Roy!” 

The familiar voice made him groan involuntarily. He was so close...Roy turned around to see his best friend Maes running after him. The man stood tall, stupid grin on his face, waving his arm in the air as if the call of Roy’s name wasn’t enough. His black hair was slicked back, his green eyes bright and happy with the weekend. “Aren’t you graduating officer school 2.0 next week?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded in return, not faltering in his step. How could he forget? He sighed heavily. If it wasn’t his own work he had to do, it was another set of officer classes they were pushing him through. 

“We should preemptively celebrate! What are you doing tonight?” Maes shoved his hands in his pockets as he matched Roy’s pace.

He shrugged, running his hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go anywhere. He was set on the beer at home, maybe watch something and pass out. Roy wouldn’t be too picky. At this point, it didn’t even have to be a good beer. 

“Are you still in PT?”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I started lifting weights. Been on the rowing machine for a month.” 

“Got to get your cardio,” Maes laughed as he punched Roy’s shoulder. 

Roy pushed him away with a frown. It wasn’t that Roy wasn’t happy it was the weekend, it was that he knew Maes what dragging him into something. The guy was scheming up some brilliant plan that would keep Roy from falling asleep in his underwear with the latest soccer game on TV.

“Well,” he said drawn out and slowly. 

Roy expected him to offer dinner and he was ready to decline despite the fact that Gracia was an amazing cook. 

“Gracia is gone, which means it’s guy night.” Maes wrapped his arm around his neck, pulling him close. “You need to get laid, Roy.” 

It was worse than being coerced into having dinner. “I’m fine, thank you.” He could see where this was going and it wasn’t in his favor. It was going to end with some awkward moment with he and some random chick were being pushed together and shoved out the door by a Mr. Hughes. It was useless to argue it. Maes wasn’t going to hear ‘no.’

“Roy,” Maes said in a half-serious tone. “You worked too hard to just to not celebrate the weekend at least. First-round is on me.” 

“Maes,” Roy rubbed his face from the top down with a groan.

“Get you a girlfriend….” 

Roy gave in. “I will go but only if we are just going for a good time.” 

"You're all pent up,” he argued as he tightened his hold around his neck. 

Roy pulled from his grasp. “Yes, because one night stands always make things better.” 

Maes laughed loudly, annoyingly. He pushed his glasses up his nose. “I’m talking about a _girlfriend_ , Roy.” 

“Did Gracia put you up to this?”

Maes shrugged, trying to look innocent, however, it was plainly obvious that Gracia had been an influence. “ Speaking of significant others, are you still looking for Riza?”

“How is she my…” Roy huffed, dropping the argument that he wanted to engage. He’d lose anyway. Instead, his eyes fell, looking down at his feet as he walked. “I have, but don’t have the time for much more.” He’d continued looking for months. He never gave up, his time just narrowed down to a few hours when he could. 

“I’m in investigations,” Maes bumped his shoulder with his own. “All you have to do is ask.” 

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “The last thing we need is to get in trouble for using resources for personal reasons.” He scratched his cheek as his brown frowned with mild frustration. “I did some searching in the West, but nothing. As much as she likes the West, I feel like she’s in Central.” He kicked a rock. “This place is too big and I don’t have the time I wish I had.” 

Maes nodded as he stroked his beard. “She’s probably at the University. Do you want me to look?”

Roy shrugged again. “I’ve gone up there, looked around, asked around. I didn’t get anywhere.” He grabbed his side. “It’s not like I can go far anyway. I’m worried she’ll jump on me and I’ll die.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Maes laughed with a slap on the back. 

Roy grumbled and pulled away from another slap. 

“Getting out will help your mood. See you at The Pick Me Upper Bar at eight! There’s a band playing which means there will be girls dancing.” He pointed at Roy as if his fingers were guns, an excited grin plastered on his face. “If you’re not there I’m going to storm into your aunt’s bar and make a ruckus.” 

If Roy wanted to fight Maes about it, it’d be a waste of time. He’d go to at least have the beer that he was looking forward to. And eight meant it’d give him time to go home, shower, and put on nicer clothes. Maes would do the same. Maes would look shiny and new. They’d stroll into the bar like brothers and sit in the corner while Maes would introduce him as a hero to every girl that walked by. _Go for the beer._

His body was sore as he dragged himself into his aunt’s bar. There were a few customers, no one significant that he needed to be aware of. One of his sisters waved happily at him from behind the bar while another poked her head out from the back room. 

"Hey, Roy!" The bright blonde waved casually from behind the bar. 

"Evening Shelby. Hey Belle." He greeted the two of them with a tired smile. 

“Happy to have you back,” Belle greeted happily. Since the news of him coming home with a hole in his side, they always greeted him with something like that. She smiled brightly, her hair falling to the side as she tilted her head. “Chris told us to remind you of your doctor's appointment tomorrow.” 

He nodded, fighting an eye roll. “I didn’t forget,” he muttered. 

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m going to go out with Maes,” he said as he passed her in the doorway. “I will grab food at the bar.” 

“You know the doctor said no drinking,” Belle scolded. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d gone out and got a bit… drunk… And it wasn’t going to be his last. “I’m drinking soda,” he lied. 

“I’m going to tell Chris,” She threatened with a smirk and a hand on her hip. She was almost an adult at seventeen and was already learning the tricks and trade of blackmail. 

Roy reached over the table and grabbed a banana. “I was hoping not to have to tell her about your little boyfriend?” 

She scowled at him. “Does she know that you have been going for jogs?” He saw her eyebrow rise as she felt that she had the upper hand on him. 

“Did she know that you were out past curfew? What was his name,” Roy asked as he tapped his chin. “Joshua?”

She crossed her arms and laughed. “There is no evidence of that,” she scoffed. “There is evidence of you losing your shoes last month with Maes.” 

“I didn’t lose them,” he corrected as he leaned close to her. “I donated them to a homeless man.”

His oldest sister, Catherine, walked in the kitchen. She was only a few years older than him, but she’d stuck around to help raise the incoming girls. “You lost them,” she corrected Roy. “And you two should be spies the way you have shit on everyone.” 

“Says the one who keeps her diary in the open,” Belle smirked. 

Cathrine shrugged, curling her sandy blonde hair behind her ear as if it was not a point of weakness to her . “Decoy. Let Josh know I said hi when you meet him tonight at 10:30 at Westminster Park.” 

Belle grew red in the face. It was clear everyone knew her secret. Roy laughed as he jogged up the stairs to his room. After PT and sitting in a hot office, a shower was all he could think about. The steaming water relaxed his sore shoulders. He leaned over, hand on the tile, letting the water beat on his back, running down and over his scar. He could scrub it now. He could do whatever he wanted at this point. It was the muscles that were almost healed. He had to refrain from fights or from doing strenuous exercise particularly to his abs, however, the months of patience and constant nagging from the women in his life had helped it heal quickly. He dabbed cologne on his neck, after slipping on a black polo and running his hand through his hair. He had to watch the clock. The last thing he needed was Maes Hughes walking into the bar and calling out for his ass. His aunt would be all over Roy for it. It didn’t matter if he was twenty four or not, she still expected better behavior from him and Maes. 

“What time are you going to be back?”

He looked up to see his youngest foster sister, Taylor, standing in the doorway. “Not sure. Probably really late. Leave the back door open for me.”

“You going to bring a girl back?”

Roy frowned, biting the corner of his lip. It was a possibility but it wasn’t the main goal of the night. He just wanted to go and have a good time with his friend. If he did, it wasn’t the best thing for Taylor to see, and Roy knew it. He was supposed to be a good role model after all, even if his foster mother was running a bar. “No,” shook his head. “I will probably go over to her place.” _Safer option anyway._

“Is that why you don’t come home some nights?”

It was incredibly awkward to talk about his sex life to a fourteen-year-old girl. It was even more embarrassing to tell her he was too drunk and had gone to Maes’ place instead. He smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. The whole bar was hoping little Taylor would go on to be a better woman, go to college, avoid the dead-end career the others had fallen into. “I’m just trying to be polite.” 

She frowned. 

“Taylor,” he said gently as he stood up and walked towards her, putting his hand on her black-haired head. “I promise that if I do go home with a girl, it’s her choice and I will be a gentleman about it.” It was an attempt to not only calm the young teen but to provide her with a standard when she brought men home as well. 

She didn’t move, still glaring up at him. It obviously didn’t work. 

“It’s an adult thing,” he continued to try to explain. 

“I know what sex is, Roy.” Her voice was laced with spitting sarcasm.

Roy sighed. 

“Just wear a condom,” she said firmly before turning and leaving. “But I’m not making sure the back door will stay open for you.” She turned on her toe and marched back down the stairs.

Roy grabbed his leather jacket. He took two more steps before turning back and unlocking his window. “Just in case,” he whispered to himself. 

He arrived at the bar just a few minutes late. Maes was inside, leaning over the bar, chatting up the bartender. Roy was positive that he was convincing her to consider his lonely ass. He could tell by the wide grin he had on his face. He knew because it looked like he was flirting with her. Thing was, Maes was not a flirt to anyone but his fiance. So he had to be talking Roy up. 

“Roy,” he called as he waved him over. “This is Major Mustang,” Maes introduced. 

_And I’m right…_ It wasn’t like he didn’t want to pick up chicks. It was more that it was Maes that was advertising for him in his capacity as an overly aggressive wingman.

“Mustang here was shot in the line of duty,” His best friend continued. He leaned against the bar, grinning charmingly at the brunette who smiled nicely back at Roy. She was obviously not that interested. She only nodded dumbly, barely making eye contact with either of them. 

Roy nodded his greeting at her. “Hello.” He smiled but didn’t strain to try to convince her that he was her Romeo. 

“Major Mustang, what can I get you?”

“House amber please.” 

She reached down pulling up a bottle and popping the cap off. “It’s on the house. I hope you feel better.” With a short wink and slanted grin, she handed the beer to him. 

Maes hit his shoulder with the back of his hand. “I think she likes you,” he snickered. 

Roy shook his head, holding the beer as he turned to look over the crowd. The band was just starting to play, and a younger group was mingling towards the back. “What is this? When did our place become a college joint?” 

Maes shrugged. “But the girls are younger. Maybe they like war heroes?”

“I’m not a… Nevermind.” Roy rolled his eyes and talked towards a table. “I don’t need you to convince women to sleep with me.” 

“I’m not looking for a one night stand for you,” Maes corrected, pulling the seat back and turning it backward. He sat down as he looked towards the band. “I’m looking for a _girlfriend_ for you!” 

He took a swig of his beer. _I can find someone on my own,_ he thought as he looked around. The idea of getting laid sounded better and better, but he wasn’t sure if he could do a one night stand. It wasn’t his thing. He’d rather date her than feel like they both were taking advantage of each other. When he woke the next morning, Roy liked taking her for breakfast, seeing if she wanted to hang out the next week. It was only more awkward when she said no.

“I’d rather just hang out,” Roy leaned his chair back on two feet. “If I meet someone, then awesome. But I’m here to listen to some tunes and bullshit about the bureaucracy of our country.” Roy looked to the side to see some college students enter the bar. _Just a bunch of young adults here to get too drunk they don’t remember their classes tomorrow._

“Roy, you have to realize that you need a girl. Or even a guy.” 

Roy glared harshly at his friend on the other side of the table. 

“I don’t judge,” Maes laughed with his hands up defensively. “I’m just saying that you are going to get pent up and be angry at life. We all need a little love.” 

He waved his hand at his friend. “I know. I just...” He sighed and turned to see a blonde head stop at the corner of the bar. He squinted, thinking it looked too familiar, but then decided he was seeing things. However, no matter how he glanced around and talked with Maes, his eyes kept stopping at the blonde head. The girl next to her was shorter, short black hair who looked unfamiliar. But the blonde made something stir him his chest.

“You see someone? Want me to go over there and find out if they are looking too?”

“That’s not how you meet people,” Roy grumped. He turned back to the band, watching a few girls in short skirts and short tops dancing. Then his eyes shot back to the blonde. Why was he stuck on her? He frowned, stress lines on his brow deepening as he concentrated, feeling half tempted to go over to her and introduce himself. Maybe there was a reason why his gut was telling him there was something right for a change?

Maes leaned next to him. “You looking at that blonde chick?” 

“No,” Roy lied but didn’t stop staring. 

“Go say hi.” 

He watched as she turned, leaning over the bar to wave at the bartender. His body froze and his jaw fell open. There was no mistaking the bright smile, the high cheekbones with her grin, or the squint of her eyes when she laughed. For whatever reason, the room went quiet as he strained to hear her voice, but he couldn’t hear to call the barman. Then the sway of her golden hair as she turned back to her friend broke his trance. “It’s Riza,” he whispered. 

“It’s who?”

Roy looked at Maes. “It’s Riza!” His voice quivered as he looked back at the bar. 

Maes blinked. “You have to go talk to her!” He jumped in his seat and leaned over to Roy, his eyes wide with excitement.

Roy didn’t need to be told twice. He got up and walked straight towards her, weaving quickly between the crowd. His heart was pounding, the music fading in his ears. It was as if he was walking on a treadmill and the more he looked at her, the more he doubted it was her. After all the looking, all the emotion that had gone into missing her, she was right in front of him. There was no way! She was in this shit hole bar, listening to a college band. Every nerve in his body flared, his mouth dry, as he came up behind her, slamming his beer on the counter. _What the fuck are you going to say? Just say hi. Just act casual. It’s Riza Hawkeye!_

She turned, her face brightening into a wide smile. It was the warmest, more pure form of joy he had felt since he was a child. He wanted to grab her face, pulling himself close to her, assault her lips with the passion that he held for her since they were teens. His hands wanted to touch her and feel her pulse. But Roy didn’t know how she felt about him. He didn’t know if she resented him, or if she had a boyfriend. Certainly, he didn’t want to embarrass her or push her away. Nothing in the bar seemed to even reach his senses. He just lost himself, his body and soul, into her brown eyes. _Just don’t say anything stupid!_

“Riza Hawkeye,” he said firmly. “Marry me.” _Because that isn’t stupid._ But it was exactly what he felt. He wanted to marry her before he left, and he wasn’t going to let that pass him by again. 

She laughed, which threw him off for a second, then smiled as her hand reached out to touch his arm. “Hello, Roy. It’s so good to see you.” 

Roy grinned. “I missed you,” he sighed, not taking his eyes off hers. 

The band’s music picked up along with the chattering and yelling of the crowd. “What,” she asked leaning towards him. 

“I fucking missed you!” Roy wanted to scream it louder. 

Riza’s friend leaned over and tapped Riza’s shoulder to get her attention. “Who’s this guy? Do you know him?”

“Maria Ross, this is Roy. Roy this is my old dorm mate, Maria!” 

Roy extended his hand with a huge grin on his face. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Maria.” 

Maria didn’t move. She looked back at Riza, then back at Roy, then at Riza, before holding her hand out and shaking his. “The Roy? You’re the guy?” She turned to Riza. “This is the guy from the picture? He’s way more handsome than the kid in the picture!” 

Riza blushed but Roy only burst out laughing. _She kept a picture? She kept a picture of me?_

She pushed her friend away as she stepped closer to Roy. Her hands reached out to him, landing on his chest. It sent an electric shock through his body, his breath fleeting in the dense bar air. “You’re alive,” she said. 

He reached out, grabbing her by her shoulders. “I have so much to tell you,” he replied. “Let me pay for your drink and...”

She shook her head, stepping back. Roy’s soul dropped, wavering on the edge of a cliff. She had a boyfriend. She wasn’t interested in him. She had moved on. “Maria bought it,” she cut his disappointment in half with an excited grin. “It’s too loud in here!” 

He nodded and pointed to the door. “Wanna go somewhere else?”

Riza quickly nodded and grabbed her bag, waving a goodbye to Maria as she dragged Roy out of the bar. He let her. He looked towards Maes for a second to see him giving him a thumbs up and cheesy grin. It was Riza. He’d found her. Her hand on his elbow made his heart flutter, feeling like it was going too fast. He was going to have a heart attack, he knew it. In a blink of an eye, he was outside the bar, standing in the warm summer air. The physical affection did not end at the door. As soon as they were outside she flung herself upon him in a hug. His arms wrapped around her and he started begging the universe that she never had to leave him. The flare in his side did nothing to drown out the rest of his body celebrated. Roy ignored everything around him, the people and the noise. Nothing in the world mattered anymore but the embrace of his childhood friend. 

She pulled back, still holding his shirt to make sure he wouldn’t leave. “Did you ever get any letters I sent after Father died?”

Roy’s smile fell as he shook his head. “We went to the front lines. I was immediately sent somewhere secret. I couldn’t even send letters..” 

“I sent you letters and they came back.” 

“That’s because I wasn’t where I was registered to be!” He tightened his grip on her shoulders before he let go suddenly. It made more sense to why he never got letters from her, even when he’d be back at base. They were sent back. No one was supposed to know where he was. Now it made sense. 

She tossed her head to the side. “I know a quieter place to go to. Come on.”

Their hands drifted just enough apart that he swore he could feel the warmth from her fingers. His eyes glanced at the swaying hand, debating to grab it. However, the sporadic act of grasping her hand was just as out of line as how satisfying it would be. He couldn’t step into a zone that was long gone. Though they were in some kind of relationship, childish or not, when he walked away three years ago, both had tried to move on. There had to be a conscious effort to not assume she was wanting the same thing, no matter how convincing that kiss, before he left, could have been. After all, when he asked her to marry him, she didn’t say yes. And how could he blame her? They were young, stupid, and so so very in love. He had been so very much in love for her. And seeing her again stirred those deep thoughts and feelings that he once had before for her. 

A few blocks down, she opened the door to a small bar. It was new with more of a relaxing atmosphere than that of a military dive bar. The seating was more comfortable, couches and chairs, with coffee tables. It wasn’t something Roy would ever find himself in. There were only two TVs near the actual bar, and jazz played in the background. _Of course,_ he thought humorously. A group of girls holding cocktails laughed in the opposite corner, while two bearded men of higher class sat chatting quietly by the bar. This was _not_ a place he’d ever find himself. She guided him towards two upholstered chairs. He looked up to see the hanging lights, the bright colors on the walls. He could not have been more uncomfortable. As he sat down and looked back at Riza, it all flew away back out the glass doors that they entered through. 

Her hand reached for a menu. “Do you like mixed drinks? I mean, they have beers if you prefer.” 

He shrugged. “I don’t care.” And he couldn’t. It didn’t matter. “A beer is fine.” He almost didn’t notice the waitress come over because his gaze refused to leave her. He quickly ordered a beer, before turning back to Riza who was ordering a lemon drop. “It’s been way too long,” he stated the obvious. He held the quiver in his voice from coming out. He was alone with her, about to talk to her. It was more than what he could ask for. “You have to tell me what you have been up to.” 

“Roy,” she laughed. “What about _you_?”

He waved his hand at her request. “I’m still in the military working at headquarters,” he stated plainly. “Now it’s your turn.” He didn’t matter. He wanted to hear everything about her. He had missed almost four years of her life. He not only wanted to feel that he hadn’t missed them but wished that the space between them was not there. 

The smile she wore never left. Her eyes glistened in the LED light above as she leaned forward in her seat, attentive to him as he was to her. They were the only ones in the lounge. His breathing was slow, shallow, waiting as it would have on the battlefield. He didn’t want to flinch. He didn’t want to blink. He was terrified that she’d disappear and prove he was dreaming. 100% of his attention was to her. 

“I went to your house. You weren’t there.” 

She blushed in embarrassment. “Yeah, I sold it. You went there?” She looked astonished. It worried him that he was coming across wrong. 

“I tried calling the house, no one picked up. I couldn’t reach you. So when I came back I went there.” 

“How embarrassing,” she put her hand over her mouth. “I couldn’t stay there. Not alone...”

He shook his head, raising his hand. “It doesn’t matter. How long have you been in Central?”

“I moved here and started college. I’ve been in the dorms.” 

“That’s great,” he praised quickly, but his stomach tightened. Why was he unable to find her then? “What are you studying?”

She laughed, leaning back in her seat and taking a drink. He could see she was as nervous as she was excited. He was too. He feared that there was a lingering fear of judgment. “I’m studying music.” 

His grin would have grown if it could, but his face wouldn’t allow it. “I would have guessed botany,” he laughed. “But you always loved music. Are you studying classical? You probably could teach that course.” Maybe he was talking too fast, maybe asking too many questions, but his heart felt like it was soaring every time she spoke. He wanted to ask her to marry him again, to tell her that he was serious. He wanted to pick her up, even in the bar, swirling her above his head to hear her laugh. But he had to restrain himself. He had to only ask questions and to let his body melt into the chair.

She laughed at his compliment. “I’m studying music in general. But I’m learning to write it right now. I’m hoping to go into teaching.” 

“You’re not going into performing?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t think about it.” She crossed her legs. It was the first time he noticed her khaki pants and her t-shirt with Central University’s Tiger on it. It formed her, following her curved sides to her hips. 

“Are you still gardening?” He remembered how she cared for and loved her garden. She’d be found out there, hiding away from her father, as she trimmed the bushes and watered the vegetables. He remembered rinsing carrots under her hose before eating them and she made a cucumber sandwich that made him love cucumbers for the first time. 

“I had an aloe plant,” she giggled. “But it died last year.” 

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth disappointedly. “I would never have expected that from you.” 

She grinned as she turned the table of attention onto him. “A desk job, huh?”

He snorted. “It’s too much paperwork. But I work closely with recruits. I’m two weeks from graduating from officer school, again. It’s a higher course which means more money but with that comes more responsibility too. And then they are sending me to college for a couple of years.” 

“Oh! That’s great! So you’re doing really well?” Her brown eyes were sparkling. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I think so. It’s been different changing from field work to office work. But I think it’s a good change.” He smiled reassuringly. He took a swig of his beer and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “What are you doing lately? Are you dating at all?”

“You sure are focused on my relationship status.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “If you must know. I was dating for about four months, but broke up with the guy two months ago.” Roy tried not to jump in his seat.

“Was he an asshole?” He asked casually, taking a drink from his beer and trying not to smile like a lunatic.

She shook her head with her hand in front of herself. “No, he was nice. But I think he was trying to prove something to me. We had a fight and never got back together.” 

“His loss,” Roy snided. He quickly regretted it. _Coming on too strong, Roy-Boy. Tone it back._

“I suppose so. While we are on that subject, you?” Her head tilted to the side, a curious smile creeping. It wasn’t just a casual question, or it didn’t seem like it. He almost hoped that she was that interested in him. 

“I’ve been a little busy to be dating lately.” 

“Lonely?”

 _What’s that supposed to mean?_ He shrugged. “Eh,” he lied. 

They both sat there, smiling. It was certainly obvious to the whole lounge that they were old friends connecting. They were old friends who were completely in love with each other who had lost contact. One would lean forward listening as if the words the other spoke was the Gospel itself. The other would lean back, rolling their wrist as they talked all too casually. But Roy never stopped smiling. And he noticed she never did either. She told him funny stories of freshman antics but never of her father’s death. It was apparent she didn’t want him to feel the guilt that plagued him for years. He didn't ask. The moment was supposed to be happy. He didn't want to ruin that. 

Finally, they fell silent as the waitress came over to them. "Last call, you two." 

Roy looked at his empty beer, feeling the effects of alcohol joyfully swimming in his system. He never did eat. It's been hours, nearly two in the morning! "Are you hungry," he asked. "It's not fancy, but there's a diner just down the road from here that has a great burger." 

Riza shook her head. "It's already too late. I have to work tomorrow morning."

Roy stood up. "Please, let me at least walk you home." 

She nodded with a tired smile. "I'd like that." 

Roy pulled his wallet out to put a tip on the table. As she continued to the door, his eyes still lingering on her. With his poor coordination and lack of attention, he did not see the table to his left. It was a taller table, one with higher chairs around it. He took a step forward, running his side right into the corner. A painful grunt followed, his hand reaching instantly to cover it, pressing on it as if it'd help. He wanted to lean against the table but he glanced up to see Riza by the door looking at him. Instantly, he stood up, doing his best to hide the tender spot, and walked towards her. "I need to watch where I'm going," he laughed.

She didn't ask, and he didn't tell. It wasn’t a time to hear his sad story and create a depressing tone of conversation. Roy wasn’t a “woe is me” type of person anyway. He’d tell her later. 

As they started walking, she stepped to the side to avoid a fire hydrant and their hands brushed. Roy resisted grabbing it as she leaned back away from his with a laugh. It was a nervous laugh that he didn't share. His heart was going too fast for him to laugh. _Why did she laugh_ , he wondered as he watched her blush. It felt like they were teens, or even younger. He wanted to hold her hand, wanted to tell her that he still loved her. But he didn’t know how. His tongue was tied in a love knot, unable to tangle to tell her that he’d looked all over not because he missed her but because he was so irrefutably in love with her that it was obvious to everyone around him. He wanted to tell her that he’d been calling her his friend the whole time because admitting that he was in love with her would make it harder to live without her. He wanted to tell her that without her his soul felt dead. But he couldn’t even reach out to hold her hand, let alone tell her any of that. 

"Sorry," she said. 

"No big deal, it happens." _I'd love it to happen. I’d love for us to happen again._

Her hand grabbed her bag and he put his hands in his pockets disappointed. His hand felt his pocket watch, his thumb rolling over the emblem. He clicked it open, snapping it closed. 

"Do you work tomorrow," she asked as she looked over at him. 

"No," he chuckled. "Thank God. But it wouldn't be the first time I went to work with a hangover." 

"Can't be as bad as going to class drunk." 

"I have never seen so many push-ups ordered, and so many laps required when you get caught drunk on duty." 

"Did you?" 

Roy laughed loudly. "Shit no! I wasn't that stupid. My buddy Jean did though. Drill sergeant almost made him cry." Roy continued laughing loudly. "I went back to the barracks and drank the rest of his beer for him so he wouldn't get caught."

Riza giggled. "What a good friend you are." 

"Selfless acts of love," he said sarcastically. "He didn't think so. Thankfully he didn't have the energy after running and push-ups… oh and burpees, to punch me." 

She laughed, bending over and holding her stomach. 

"That's okay. He snuck down the hall while I was doing laundry and threw in a red shirt and turned it on hot water." 

"Pink huh?"

"All my boxers, undershirts, and socks." 

“Wearing all white? That doesn’t seem like you.” She nudged him with her elbow while raising her eyebrows suggestively. “I figured you to always be a stripes guy.” But she knew what his boxers had always been. She’d seen him in them before. 

“Poke a dots,” he joked, grinning back. “But military issued is white. And you are required to conform to the brainwashing of the government, so you give up all your underwear.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

“Dead serious.” He looked ahead as he chuckled. “When you first get there, they spread all your clothing around on the ground and go “this was your past life,” he said in a deeper voice than his own, mockingly. 

She dropped her jaw, eyes wide in surprise. 

“It was okay. We got a few personal items.” _Like your photograph._

“Well,” she said sarcastic happiness. “At least you got that!” 

He grinned at her humor. It was good to see that she was happy and playful. “You’ve grown up very beautiful,” he said softly. 

When she didn’t respond he stopped. Riza tilted her head with a curious look. 

“I mean,” He quickly tried to fix his mistake. “Your personality! You have grown up beautifully as a person.” 

“Oh! I’m still that dirty farm girl that you fell in love with?”

He smacked the top of his head. There was no winning with her. His face was beet red as he blushed. “Nevermind,” he coughed, clearing his throat. 

She leaned against him as she put her lips by his ear. The hot air on his neck sent shivers up his spine and he resisted every dirty thought that surged through his mind. “You grew up quite handsome too.” Roy gulped quietly, wanting her to kiss him there so badly. Instead, she pulled back and started walking again down the sidewalk. “Especially the longer hair. What’s up with that?”

He shook his head quickly as he regained consciousness of the real world and less of his dream. “Office work happened. I don’t need to get my haircut so often when you’re behind a desk.” 

“Well, I like it,” she said with a smile over her shoulder. They rounded the corner to see the tall square building of the college dorms. “Do you want to see my dorm,” She asked as she looked over her shoulder. “You can tell me if it’s any better than the barracks.” 

His mind rushed through five thousand situations of what that invitation actually meant. _Is she asking me in for the night? Is she innocently asking if I want to see it? What if she does ask me inside? What if she shows me her bed? What if she…_

He heard the door open as she waved him in. 

_Do I kiss her goodnight? Will she kiss me back? Is she going to ask me to stay? What if she does ask me to stay?_

“I’m on the 5th floor,” she said as she pushed the elevator button. “Girls are on odd floors, guys are on even.” 

“Co-ed, huh?” He said in a scratchy voice. His through had gone dry in all the fretting of the near future. _God how I want her to ask me to stay._

“This one is. The one on the next block is all girls, and the one next to it is all guys. After freshman year, you can request to come here. They think that it’s for good students, but it’s for bad students who don’t get caught.” 

“You? You’re a bad student?”

She laughed. “We had a microwave until Maria took it with her.” 

“It’s a microwave,” he said dumbly. “You can’t have a microwave?”

She shook her head. “You can get kicked out of dorms for a year. I also have a coffee maker.” She put a finger to her lips. “Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.” 

He laughed as the doors opened. He looked around to see an empty hall. There were welcome posters for the new year on the wall, names on doors to indicate who had what dorm. “You’re roommate won't mind me being here?”

“I don’t have one yet. I get to stay in the dorms during the summer if I help clean them for the next semester and I work in work-study.” 

He nodded dumbly. She reached her door, using a brass key to open the door. She opened it and stepped inside. Her arm introducing him to the room. He felt awkward, his hand tinkering with his watch as he tried to act cool. _Why are you so nervous?_ His body screamed at him. _Ignore the raging boner you’re having and just relax. She’s an old friend._ “This is better than the barracks,” he chuckled. “You have two beds in this small space. We have six.” 

“Six?” She exclaimed. “Are you freaking serious?”

He nodded. He stepped over to look at the beds. “Which one is yours?”

She pointed to the left one. 

“But you don’t have any personal belongings?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “I sold or left most of it. There wasn’t really anything mine to begin with.” 

He nodded, frowning. Quiet filled the dorm as the awkwardness set in. He tried not to make eye contact with her as he looked around the room. It wasn’t like there was anything special about it. Two beds, two desks, a coffee maker, a small closet. “What’s that room,” he pointed to a door to the side. 

“Oh, we get our own bathroom,” she smiled brightly. “It’s only a stand-in shower. No tub. But we do have a flushable toilet and a one of a kind college sink with as many stickers on it from the previous tenants that you could have guessed it was part of the deco.” 

He chuckled at her obvious sarcasm. But the awkwardness didn’t go away. _Do you kiss her now? Do you leave? Do you stay?_ “I guess I better get going.” Roy moved towards the door. 

Riza followed behind him as they stopped under the doorframe. He turned to see her smiling at him. He looked back at her, watching her come closer to him. Their body heat radiating in the hallway. Her hands ran up his chest, igniting his skin. His hands, in turn, reached out to grasp her hips, not being able to move anything but to lean his head down to her. Neither said a word as their lips connected, softly at first, only to be received just as he imagined. She tasted just as he remembered and her lips still soft as they slipped. Roy consciously had to hold in the moan that threatened to erupt. He had to resist pushing her against the hallway wall. He resisted more to push her back into her dorm room and slam the door behind him. 

Peck on his cheek broke him from his daydream. His stomach dropped with lead in it. It was only a dream. Why did it only have to be a dream? The peck still made his heart skip a beat. “Good night, Roy. It was amazing to see you again. Let’s do it again.” She reached her hand out. “Give me your phone.” 

It was an odd request but his hand dove into his pocket to procure her request. He watched as she entered her number into the device and hand it back to him. 

“Text me when you wake up.” 

He nodded and blinked a few times dumbly, still realizing the kiss was a dream. 

“Goodnight,” she giggled. 

She must have known he was awestruck as she slowly shut the door. He regained his composure as he walked down the hall, trying not to look disappointed. But he was. And for so many reasons. _You can’t expect too much,_ he told himself. _It’s been four years._ His conscience was right. However, seeing her was heartwarming, and lifting. He could only grin as he walked towards his aunt’s bar. After all, he’d found her. He’d found Riza. It was an amazing night. He didn’t even think he could sleep! He’d have to go home, eat a microwave pizza, and sleep until one of his sisters woke him up. The moon seemed brighter, even in it’s half illuminated state. The air wasn’t so cool, or maybe it was his hot blood that was rushing to his skin. It didn’t matter, he was walking on air. 

It was nearly four in the morning according to his watch in his pocket. He tried the back door, to see that his younger sister Taylor wasn’t joking when she said she wouldn’t keep the back door unlocked. No matter, that’s why he left his window unlocked. He’d done this countless times once they moved to Central. He climbed carefully onto the porch’s roof, then carefully pulled himself to stand on the overhanging roof over his older sisters’ bedrooms. It was such a good idea to have him on the top floor. It kept him out of trouble, or so his aunt would seem. As he laughed as his own scheme to get in undetected, he lifted the window to see it didn’t lift. “What the…” On the lower-left corner was a nice note. “Love Taylor,” he whispered. “Little bitch,” he grumped. “God, I hate them.” He could stay out, sleep on the roof. Someone would be awake at six. He could always try to go undetected up to his room then. The back door would be unlocked when whoever was up to let Belle’s cat out. Or, he could go to Mae’s place. 

Hopping down off the roofs, carefully as he was still drunk and it was still easy to fall, he headed towards Mae’s place. The good news was that Gracia wasn’t home. There was no greater humiliation when drunk Roy showed up with drunk Maes and Gracia would have to decide who slept on the floor. It usually ended up being both of them. The two were working on getting a new apartment after their wedding. They lived in a small one-bedroom on the top floor overlooking downtown. It was an adorable place unless it was the weekend and there was a bar crawl. Then you could hear the whole town come alive with yelling, cheering, and standard drunkenness that both Roy and Mae’s was slightly jealous of. 

Roy grumped as he realized he had to climb the three flights of stairs to get there. His eyes heavy, with a big yawn, as he knocked on the door. “You better answer,” he mumbled. “I’ll sleep on your fucking doorstep.” He knocked again. 

The door swung open to see a glassless and irritated Maes Hughes. “Aww,” he unsympathetic smiled. “Did your loving sisters lock you out? Or did your darling friend not ask you to stay?” 

Roy pushed past his friend and into the apartment. “Dude,” he pointed to an empty spot along the wall. “Where is your couch?”

Maes laughed. “Yeah… I guess we are getting a new one.” A heavy hand landed on Roy’s shoulder. “Guess you’re sleeping with your old buddy again.” 

Roy glared. 

“It’s not like we haven’t cuddled before,” Maes laughed. “Just don’t tell my wife I slept with a guy while she was gone.” 

Roy took off his pants. “I sleep naked,” he grinned. 

“Keep your shorts on.” 

“Keep your cuddling hands to yourself.” Roy collapsed on the bed, putting his hands over his face. “I’m going to have such a bad hangover,” he groaned. “I can feel it coming on.” 

Mae’s lifted the covers and got into bed like a civilized adult. “How did it go with Riza?”

Roy didn’t respond as his hands moved behind his head. 

“That good huh?”

“It wasn’t bad. We drank too much, talked too little, and the night was too short.” 

“Ah, romance.” 

“She’s an old friend.” He kept lying to himself. 

“I know how you feel,” Maes yawned. “You don’t have to try to hide it.” 

Roy rolled over, turning his back to his best friend. 

“If it’s any worth to you, I think you need to pursue her.” 

“Shut up. You’re giving me a headache.” 

“And you stink. So we are even.” A heavy yawn followed. “Pancakes or eggs in the morning?”

“Good night,” Roy grumbled. 

“Pancakes it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, it happened. What do you think? I think Roy is so in love with a specific person!  
> Gotta give a huge shoutout for the sketch by @Caesurables on Tumblr. Go check her out!! (Cuz she's freaking amazing)   
> I have to say a BIG thanks for @peartato for the great art as well! Thank you for this gift. It's so wonderful. I love you so much!
> 
> I hope that you did enjoy it. Let me know what you think. I feed on comments, and kudos give me fuel.  
> Thank you for being readers! See you next time!


	4. Movie-goers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza thinks back to yesterday, only to find herself needing more of Roy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send a thank you for Rando at @rando-rave on tumblr. He was able to look over this fic last moment after I redid 88% of it. He's been super!

Riza laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling, unsure of what just happened. She’d had people over to her dorm before. Tyler and she used to crash on her bed, lying on the opposite sides of the bed with legs entangled on some days as they studied. Inviting Roy over had other implications to him. But Riza wasn’t sure what it meant to her. It was a spur of the moment, a drunken decision that left her unbelieving in her own actions. Tyler and her had dated, knew each other on a safe and level field. She hadn’t seen Roy in four years. And in four years he had changed. _But how?_ He still laughed the same, still had a sparkle in his dark eyes. He was still her Roy. On the outside. Riza frowned. She’d been reckless. There wasn’t even any evidence to prove that he was looking for her in that light. After all, he admitted that he didn’t have time for relationships. 

She rolled over to stare at the wall. Being reasonable, Riza could admit that her memories of him were fresh, and the feeling of his hand in hers renewed. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest when she saw his smile. By the look of his own reaction, she could guess that he was just as happy to see her. She wanted to reach up, grab his shirt and pull him into a hug. She should have. She should have kissed him. “That would have been reckless,” she snorted. “God forbid if he denied you. You’re only looking to break your own heart,” she told herself in a sad whisper. 

Roy was a passionate person. He always had been. What he wanted, he got. He was determined and prideful. If he wanted her, he would have made it clear. _How many times did he try when you were a kid,_ she asked herself. _He’s always wanted you. And you have always loved him._ She sighed heavily. She was putting her heart too much into this. She was making it too easy to get hurt. The last thing she needed was to get too emotionally involved. Even Tyler enforced that. Maybe she was doomed to always have who she loved at arm’s length. It’s not what she wanted. On the contrary, Riza wanted to hold Roy so close to her that not even natural disasters could part them. She wanted him to know how much she missed him; how much he had always meant to her. 

The quietness set an eerie setting in her room. The whole building was abandoned, leaving her in her deep thoughts. She supposed it was better than trying to find a quiet spot in a couple of weeks with the arrival of the new girls. Rules and regulations about quiet times and loud music were about to be trashed like a 1980’s hair band concert. Stringers, squirt guns, balloons, and she even expected to see glitter, would erupt through these halls. The thought reminded her to get a new set of headphones. At some point, she should have considered moving into the Junior/Senior dorms with an actual kitchen and her own room with three flatmates. Things she did to save money. In the quiet, all she could think about was how his breath would break the silence perfectly. 

Being alone did weigh on Riza. There were few nights that she wished warm arms wrapped around her, pulling her deep into a chest with a warm contented hum. When Riza closed her eyes, for years now, he had dark hair and features with strong arms and wide shoulders. But never a face. Now he did. He was alive. She’d seen him, touched him. It wasn’t a dream anymore and yet her longing for a simple comfort was sent home. “Even if I did ask him to stay, I can’t say that’s where we’d end up,” she sighed. Both of them would be so awkward that they’d just stare at each other. “He’d probably assume I’m looking to get laid,” she muttered. “Men.” It didn’t discourage her thoughts from wishing for it. She sighed heavily and rolled back onto her back wondering if he was wishing the same thing. 

Her hands gripped the comforter tighter. _Please message me tomorrow,_ she prayed. It was left to him. Why did she leave it to him? She should have taken down his number and told him she’d call him. Why didn’t she do that? _Because deep down you wanted to know if he wanted you._ The better question was if he did text message her tomorrow. What did that mean? With a deep breath, she closed her eyes. _Does it even matter? It would mean he wants you in his life._

* * *

Riza woke slowly, with a slip of the bright summer rays of the sun peeking through her curtains. She squinted, groaning loudly. Her head pounded and her mouth was as dry as the Xing desert. She didn’t have the option to call in. Without her job, she didn’t have the money she needed to go to school. On top of it all, it was a busy time for the Administration office with enrollment and applications. She rolled over suddenly remembering telling him to message her. She bolted for her phone and opened it. 

Maria had messaged her three times. ‘ **What the fuck, yo?** ’ Riza rolled her eyes. ‘ **So, are you going to go out with him?** ’ She shook her head. ‘ **I hope he didn’t murder you.** ’ That was a legit concern. 

‘ **No, he didn’t murder me. I’m alive and awake.** ’ That probably could have been done when she got home if she would have seen the texts. 

But the newest one was only sent an hour ago. She had just over four hours of sleep and the message arrived an hour ago. How much sleep did he get? ‘ **Hey. Wanted to thank you for last night. It was amazing to see you. I have a busy day today and an awful hangover. I hope you faired better** _.’_ He remembered to message her. He _did_ message her. 

_He wants me,_ she thought happily. She read the text over and over, unable to form a response for him. ‘ **Four hours of sleep is not enough.** ’ _Why not say exactly what you’re thinking?_ ‘ **How are you awake?** ’

She dropped her phone on her bed and forced herself to the shower. At least she wouldn’t smell drunk. It’d take brushing her teeth extra long so she wouldn’t taste drunk. But her mind was lost to that damn text message. And when she got to work, she was more interested in the series of messages than the tasks at hand. The job demanded at least 98% of her attention, but it was hardly the amount Riza was applying. When her phone wasn’t buzzing in her pocket, she was thinking about hearing his laugh and seeing that flirtatious glint in his eye. In fact, behind those black eyes, she saw maturity. Then there was the way he sat. It was clear that he’d grown up when he sat straight, a perfect pose to someone who’d practiced it and wore it daily. He’d grown out in the shoulders, his stomach flat, and his chest defined. _War had done him well physically,_ she joked to herself. _I wonder if he thought the same when he saw me?_ She pouted. It wasn’t as if she was completely self-conscious, but more towards the aspect _if_ he was thinking about her in the same context. The thought made her blush. But, mysteries rose as she thought back to things he had said. _Why was he still living with his aunt? There is no reason for him to live with her unless something between them is concerning._ There was the thought that his aunt was sick. Riza hoped that wasn’t the case. 

‘ **I’m dying,** ’ he said. 

She had to laugh. She was too. She hadn’t expected to stay out that late, but then again, she didn’t expect to run into Roy. Honestly, she thought she’d run into him when they were older, had families and kids and perfect jobs. Never in a hundred years did she expect to run into him at a bar yesterday. She yawned and looked back at the clock. Paint dried faster than the clock tick. She was starting to believe the clock was ticking every two seconds. She just wanted to go home and go to bed. She couldn’t concentrate, and her body was still aching from the “one too many” cocktails that she had on her empty stomach. _I should have gone out for that food_. But that would have made it an all-nighter. She might have fallen for weak self-control and invited him to stay. 

Maria wasn't one to gossip, nor did she need to know every detail. She was probably more upset that Riza just left with a wave and not a word. She certainly wasn’t one to hold grudges. She met her and Denny after work at the College BrewHouse. It was normally busy in the morning, however quiet in the late afternoon. The scones and bagels were cold by this time and in an hour they'd be half off. The air was still fragrant with coffee and espresso and the latest music was quiet enough that it didn't interrupt one's study. Along the far wall, college student’s art was displayed, many for sale. She didn't normally come here, but Denny liked it. He enjoyed the free paper they offered and he claimed their caramel pecan late was the best in town. She collapsed into the chair next to Maria's blonde boyfriend, who was reading intently on the government's change in policy regarding trade agreements with Xing. Maria passed the sugar and cream as she shut her book. 

"Glad to know you're alive," she gave a narrow smile that grew to a wide one. "I bet it was good to catch up with him." 

Denny looked up as he took off his denim jacket. "You owe me 25 cenz because she's alive."

"At least someone believes in my ability to survive," Riza snorted, sounding offended. "Thanks." 

Maria ignored her friend’s protests as she handed Denny the money. "So is he just like you remembered?" 

Riza ripped two packets of sugar and poured them into her black coffee. "Yes and no." _He’s not so different that I wouldn’t have noticed it behind his likeness of the boy I was once friends with, and so familiar that his differences stand out, highlighted with what he’s grown to be._

Denny looked up from his paper. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Denny was a reasonable man. He needed coddling occasionally. He liked to be spoiled and was heavily emotionally attached to his girlfriend. However, he was different from Maria in the fact that he liked to talk. He liked to know what was going on around him and would pester for details. That didn’t mean that Maria didn’t, it was more that Maria looked at things logically, and looked for truth. 

Riza shrugged, stirring in one caplet of cream. “He was in the sense that he talked like him, looked like him, and he laughed like him. However, I can tell he’s changed. Maybe he just grew up, but he’s more reserved.” 

“War can do that,” Maria said firmly after sipping her coffee. “He’d probably seen things none of us ever want to know happened.” 

“But would that actually make him more reserved in conversation?” She frowned, biting her bottom lip with new thoughts. _War would make him quiet. If there is nothing to say that is important to survival, would he say it?_

Denny shrugged, putting his paper down. He ran his hand through his thick hair and leaned back in his seat which creaked with the adjustment of weight. “He could be hiding something.” 

“Could be,” Riza nodded. She watched the steam elegantly dance from her coffee. “I guess I shouldn’t expect him to just tell me his whole life…”

“What do you want to know,” he continued to ask, now sipping his caramel pecan latte. 

But Riza didn’t answer that right away. She sat quietly. Did she want to remain friends, date, accept him without question? “Where do I even start?” She groaned as she dropped her head to the table. 

“With your heart,” he said with humor. She turned her head to see him pat his heart with his hand. 

“You’re a goof,” Maria groaned. “I’d be more concerned with what he wants. Think about it. What are his intentions? Does he want to one night stand you? Does he only want friendship? Maybe he only wants to say hi once a month.” 

Riza didn’t move from her place on the table. 

“I think he’s still head over heels for you,” Maria added with a quiet giggle. “I’ve never heard of any man just walking up to an old friend to ask her to marry him.” 

Denny’s eyes jumped open. “What? He did what?”

“Do you know how many times he’s asked to marry me when we were kids?” She sat up, rolling her shoulders back. “It’s like a greeting at this point.” 

Denny looked at Maria. “Will you marry me?”

She glowered at him in return. “Stop being ridiculous.”

“Hey,” he argued. “It’s an honest question!” 

“We can talk about this in a year.” 

“Cold,” Riza whispered at the two of them. She patted the blonde man’s shoulder in fake sympathy as he cried dramatically. 

Maria put down her coffee. “I wouldn’t worry about it. He hasn’t seen you in years! He’s probably thinking yesterday over too.” 

Riza nodded slowly. 

“It’s not your first relationship. You know how this kind of thing works. Just enjoy time with him while you have it. If he’s in the military, he can be sent back to the front line at any time.”

“I know that,” she snorted. “I know that all too well.” 

“Has Riza met her romantic match, the one that is going to capture her heart?” Denny nudged her elbow with his, a smirk growing on his boyish face. 

“He’s an old friend.”

“You’re in love with him.” 

Maria was right. But she always had been. Before, it was just love that teens have. They get all clingy and needy as they grow up. The feeling now wasn’t much different. The big difference was that she was so concerned with who he wasn’t. Whether she’d admit this or not, she was afraid. For all she knew, he had grown to have a violent and short-tempered side. It wasn’t unreasonable to think that he had PTSD and would have violent outbursts. What if he was only about sex and avoided relationships? She trudged across campus, her feet heavy. _I’m only coming up with reasons to avoid him,_ she sighed. _What’s wrong with liking him? Can’t I just want to be his friend?_

She collapsed in her bed and closed her eyes. She could remember sitting between his legs, his arms protectively around her, as they hid away in his room. One time his aunt was gone, out till late. They had settled on the floor, their backs to the couch, as they watched TV. She could hear him snore as she pulled the blanket over their laps. She turned, safe from the world, and curled against him so that her head was on his shoulder. Arms wrapped around her, she fell asleep. “We were dating,” she chuckled at the thought. “We were so in love…” Riza yawned, still smiling. Looking back as an adult, he gave her so many opportunities to be happy. He did make her happy. Why did society dictate that they couldn’t be together was a mystery to her. “They can’t stop us now,” she concluded. With a final flutter of her eyes, Riza was out like a light. 

She should have set an alarm, but her phone rang and woke her up two hours later. Riza seriously considered not answering it, but she rolled over anyway. It wasn’t normal for people just to call her. Usually, there was some sort of purpose behind it. With a drowsy check of the caller ID, she saw “Roy” and smiled. “Hey,” she answered, groggy, failing to hold in a yawn.

“Oh,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“I needed to get up anyway,” she excused. 

“Actually, a nap sounds nice.” She could hear him hum as he thought about it. “But I was wondering if I could convince you to hang out. I know you just saw me yesterday, but I had a good time,” he offered. 

Riza sat up, rubbing her eye. “You haven’t slept?” 

There was a long span of silence. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” 

A light chuckle indicated she was correct. 

Riza looked out her window at the passersby. “There’s a movie tonight,” she offered. “At the campus theatre.” It was something easy, innocent enough. Not that the sexual… friendship… tension was enough already. 

“I could do a movie.” 

“College theatre. It’s in Common’s Hall.” 

“I think I know where that is. On the second floor?” 

“Yeah. I will wait for you outside.” 

“See you soon.” 

She hung the phone up and looked at it. That sure happened quickly. She rushed to get ready, donning a simple t-shirt and a pair of jeans, grabbing her jacket as she headed out the door. Her body walked faster as she thought about seeing him. Never in her boyfriend history had she been _this_ excited to see someone. She opened the door and walked around the corner to the theatre, her mind flashed all the things she should have thought about. _This is perfect for him,_ she laughed humorlessly to herself. _He’s such a romantic and I’ve just invited him to hold my hand during a freaking movie._ She sighed heavily. She had to remember that they were adults now. They could be civilized, could be mature about this. She wasn’t going to rush into a relationship. She never had, and she never will. Roy was different now, Riza was sure of it. 

“You beat me here,” she greeted as she opened the door to see him smiling. “Why do I feel that you were lurking around the campus already?”

“Lurking,” he asked, looking shocked and grabbing his heart. “That’s harsh.” He held up some car keys with a satisfying grin. “I have a car, Riza.” 

“You just didn’t drive yesterday.” 

“I was drinking with high hopes of _walking_ away drunk. I wasn’t going to drive.” 

She nodded in her mind, acknowledging to herself that he was responsible. 

“Would you mind if I bought the tickets? I waited because I didn’t want to intrude.” 

Her brows rose as she realized his courtesy. “It’s only 25 cenz,” she laughed. “I got the tickets.” 

He held up his finger. “I will insist on buying popcorn” 

She handed the ticket counter her money. “It is cheap college popcorn, however.” 

He raised his eyebrow. “Is it any good? Because if it’s better than the healthy crap that Shelby buys, I will buy three tubs”  
“You’ll have to try it to find out.” She grinned mischievously over her shoulder as she walked in without him.

He was quick to walk to the concessions stand. She lingered in the lobby, standing behind him as she looked at the menu. Although they only had soda, popcorn, and a few candies, she still felt inclined to look as if she was interested. There weren’t very many people there. School hadn’t started and it wasn’t one of the most popular theatres which showed the newest movies. It was an older theatre, one that used to be used for stage acts, and occasionally still did. It wasn’t like the college had renovated it yet either. The red carpet was faded in a few places from traffic while the seats inside had a few stains and looked at least twenty years old. However, for a cheap college theatre, no one ever complained. 

“One popcorn and two drinks please,” she heard Roy ask the cashier. 

“What are you up to, Roy?”

He turned back, his black bangs swaying as he did do. “What, you don’t want to share a popcorn with me?”

“We’re not dating,” she clarified, hurting her to admit it out loud. Maybe he’d say something to indicate that he was wishful they were, but he remained quiet. “And I don’t like sharing,” she added quickly, trying to make up for the former comment. 

He turned back to the cashier with a heavy sigh. “I will have an extra-large popcorn and two drinks.” 

“Roy!” 

“What? It’s cheaper to get an extra-large than it is to get two larges!” 

So much for not sharing. “You’re going to eat it all and not share!” 

He handed her the two drinks. “I’ll share,” he chuckled as he popped a few pieces of the over-salted popcorn into his mouth. I should have gotten another soda though…Where do you want to sit?”

She shrugged casually, still annoyed at his antics as she led him past the red curtains to the seating. She could hear him eating the popcorn behind her and she found a seat in the middle rows and walked to the partial middle of the row. It was the perfect seat by moviegoers’ standards. Prized seats for optimum viewing experiences. It was empty except for a few people. “I don’t talk during the movie,” she whispered to him. 

He shrugged off her request, leaning back, hugging his salty, golden treasure. “What are we watching?”

She reached for the popcorn and was surprised when he leaned it over so she could get some. “Invaders from Shamballa,” she answered. The lights dimmed and she sat back to watch, trying to ignore him and his continuous popcorn eating. One of the other great benefits to the college theatre was that here were little to no commercials. It went right to the show. The movie was science-fiction, still in black and white as advertised. She felt a nudge to her shoulder to see him offering of the vat of popcorn. He set it on his leg as he took a drink of his soda. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, taking a handful. _At least he’s not talking._

Her guard was up, for whatever reason, she felt herself entirely aware. She didn’t even know how to react if he did make any advances, however, she was certain he was just as nervous as she was. It was in the realm of possibility that he wished he could make a move. _I don’t know what I would do if he did reach out for my hand._ However, Roy made no move to hold her hand, lean towards her, or even slide his foot to touch hers. Suddenly, it was nice to just have a friend to go to the movies with who wasn’t going to talk or ask questions, unlike Denny who asked questions about everything the entire movie. 

The experience was one that the directors would have appreciated. Riza was allowed to engulf herself in the story, lose herself and her worries of the real world. The damsel on the screen was exceedingly dramatic while the villain was an alien who threatened to blow up the world. The plot was ordinary, generic of the day, but the actions and reasonings of the characters were realistic for what she had expected. The hero of the story was, of course, a large muscled man that had a Superman persona and invincibility.

“You won’t get away with this,” the hero yelled in a confident tone towards the enemy. He was wearing a spacesuit, holding his laser gun towards the flying ship. 

A laughing echo of the enemy boomed out from the speakers. “You’re striking maiden will allow me to get away with this! You won’t shoot down my ship with her on board!” 

Riza put another handful of popcorn in her mouth, never taking her eyes from the screen 

“Come down here and face me like a man.” 

Another radiating laugh. “I’m not man, you puny human! I’m superior in every way!” 

The hero raised his gun and shot at the ship, the saucer tipping side to side to avoid the lasers. “If I’m so small and weak, then why are you afraid to fight me?”

Her hand reached over to his lap, reaching for another handful of popcorn. 

The space ship shot a ray from it, the hero rolling out of the way. He zig-zagged behind rocks as they blew up in cheap theatrical props. He rolled behind another bolder before peeking from it and taking a few more shots from his ray gun. _Cheap CGI,_ she thought with amusement. The screen change to the enemy, a regular man dressed funny with pointed ears and a bald head. It was a typical “alien” to Hollywood expectations. The damsel screamed as the set slid side to side. “Help me,” she screamed. The only thing that could make this any more classic would be if the alien villain tied her to space train tracks. 

Her hand reached out again only to brush something other than the bucket all of the popcorn. She turned her head as she quickly withdrew her hand. It wasn’t a flirtatious touch, but her heart still felt like it’d just done hurdles for 300 meters. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. He handed her the popcorn bucket. “Here.” He looked just as apologetic as she was stunned. He had broken her concentration of the movie and yet she was now focusing on how gentle the brush was. They didn’t crash into each other as they both dove for another handful of the heavily salted popcorn. Instead, her hand grazed the back of his hand in such an innocent way that she wasn’t sure if he could have planned it. In one way or another, she was silently thankful for it.

He leaned over closer to her as he whispered, “If you wanted to hold my hand, you could have asked.” 

Riza let her hand flip across and hit his side. She heard him “oof” but ignored him as she reached into the popcorn again. He was as dramatic as the movie.

“You’re right,” he groaned. “We should have gotten two popcorns.” 

“What did I say about talking,” she quietly scolded. 

He leaned back into his chair and reached for his soda. She abandoned all notions of popcorn, hiding her blush as she continued to think about her hand against his. It felt as if the world was telling them to hold hands. The world was telling them to get together. But she couldn’t. Riza could not convince herself so. Not yet. Yet, she still played with the idea. Instead of the movie, she was thinking about how it felt when they held hands all the while they sat back by the pond behind her house. Some of those days, words were useless and meaningless, but a simple physical act like holding her hand was all she needed. It was his hand that brought comfort. How she wanted to hold his hand, squeeze if as it the movie deserved with the tension and suspense. 

The movie ended with the villain slain, and the maiden rescued. Riza wondered what he would do now. Would he ask to continue to hang out? Maybe he'd ask to take her to that ice cream that she was dreaming about. "What are you thinking," she asked casually turned to him. Roy had his head back, sleeping soundly. Halfway through he seemed awake, now he was asleep. _He must have been fighting it as he ate the popcorn,_ she thought with a sigh. _He didn’t get a nap like I did._ But it was a moment that she took for a minute. His chest rose and fell softly, his mouth open but without a snore. He looked so peaceful just as he was. Riza could imagine days with the military when thirty minutes of sleep was all he needed. She didn’t want to wake him. She wanted to throw a blanket over him and let him sleep. She gently shook his shoulder, Roy sitting up awake, his body stiff as he looked around. She also could imagine that a shake on the shoulder wasn’t always an old friend waking him up at the movie theatre. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he grunted as he rubbed his eyes. 

_He only slept maybe fifteen minutes._ “I guess we better go so you can go to bed.” 

He nodded with a yawn. “I guess so.” 

It was dark, the street lights illuminating the sidewalks. Two older adults crossed the road, looking both ways when they reached the middle of the street. There was a kid on a bike, clearly out after curfew, flying by them. Being that it was almost eleven, there weren't that many places open even for ice cream. She wasn’t going to bring it up. _Don’t be desperate,_ she reminded herself. 

"I guess walk you home and then go back to my aunt’s place. I have tomorrow off and go back to work tomorrow." 

“I thought state offices were closed Saturday and Sunday?”

He nodded. “I sometimes get a Friday off if I have tasks on Sunday. Monday we are shipping about three hundred and fifty bright and naive academy members to field drills and training. That means they get to sleep and eat in the muddy trenches all while shooting each other with paintballs.” 

She laughed. “Sounds like I need to join. Can I be the rogue agent that infiltrates the enemy?”

“A mole?” He grinned as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I’m going to bring this up to my Colonel. He’s a jokester. I bet he’d like that.” 

“Do you go with them?” She started walking up the hill to the dormitory. 

“Not this time,” he sighed. “Because on Tuesday I have a surprise inspection for my barracks. That means I will be signing off on who gets to do double-time around the field.” 

“You’re a savage,” she remarked coldly. 

He only smirked. “The drill sergeants are savage.” He grinned widely. “I’m usually the one who gets the report and decides what to do about it. I make all the decisions.”

She blinked rapidly. “Were they mean to you?”

She saw him visibly shiver. 

“That bad, huh?” 

“They are paid to be feared, and feared they are.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of them now!” She stopped putting her hands on her hips. “Big strong Roy afraid of a couple of yelling gnomes” 

He burst into laughter. “Gnomes? That’s a good one. I will let them know. But no, I’m not afraid of them now. But to cadets they are terrifying. You’re this soft innocent child that is thrown into a pit of barking dogs and all you can do is follow their orders. And that doesn’t stop them from yelling at you.” 

Riza’s eyes went wide. 

“Maes and I fared well. We got our shit together pretty fast that they focused more on the slackers.”

“I think you are cruel,” she mumbled, picking up step again. 

“What? I’m the nice guy,” he argued, trying to catch up to her. 

She watched him as he walked next to her, a goofy grin. Roy didn’t look angry or mean. He looked completely satisfied in life and she couldn't blame him. He was handsome with his messy hair, his slight smirk, and dark eyes that were attentive to all her actions as well. His hands were lazily placed in his pockets as if he was avoiding another brushing of the hands that had happened two days in a row. _It’s been meant to happen, Riza._ She heard her inner voice tell her. _Hold his damn hand! What’s the worst that could happen!_ But she didn’t. She looked ahead, trying to focus more on keeping a fast pace then be distracted on how thick his arms were. 

“My new roommate is coming on Wednesday.” She said, trying to find a neutral subject. “I guess I better enjoy a quiet room while I can." 

He nodded, not really changing his facial expression, but looking ahead. "Can we meet next week?" 

Riza nodded, taking a look around before leading him across the street. "I think so. I always have the weekends off." 

He smiled, looking up at the sky. It was too bright with city lights to see the stars. He was still a dreamer. "What are you thinking?" 

"Oh," he blushed as he looked back at her. He smiled, grinning widely. "Just thanking the heavens that we met again." He stopped, reaching out to stop her. Riza looked up at him, tilting her head. "I'm so happy, overjoyed to see you. I missed you." 

She looked away, hiding the blush that swept over her face. "I hoped that someday we'd meet again," she whispered. 

They stood there, with the silence of the air and in an empty parking lot. She’d be lying if she said it wasn’t awkward. She could feel her chest tighten and, for a moment, though she could hear his heart beating. Or maybe it was her own. They stared, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. If there was ever a moment to kiss him, it’d be now. To feel him again, tell him that she just wanted to go back to when they were younger, pretend nothing happened… but time had happened. It was not fair to ignore what time had brought forth. So she’d dream as she watched him smirking at her, wondering and hoping he’d lean into her. 

"Come on," he encouraged as he started walking again. "Let's get you home so I can be back before my sister locks me out again."

Riza had to take a deep breath as she shook the lustrous thoughts from her mind and stepped beside him as if she had nothing to hide. "They lock you out? Why do they hate you?" 

He laughed loudly. "They just do. Last night, I left my window unlocked so I could get in… Taylor locked it. I had to sleep with Maes."

"Who's Maes?"

"Maes Hughes is a friend of mine from the academy. He's my best friend. He went to the front with me, but got promoted for whatever reason and was moved to Central headquarters when my brigade went to another location."

She frowned. “You must have felt alone.” 

"That wasn't the tough part. It was harder to get help and supplies," he continued to explain. 

"Wow." Riza didn't know what else to say. 

"It was a good experience. In the end, I got a promotion out of it. If I get a degree and finish this officer's course, I will get another promotion." 

"They seem to love you," she joked. 

He snickered, "Something like that." 

He didn’t walk her to her dorm room this time. He opened the door to the building for her, smiled gently, and told her to have a good night. It was certain that he was trying to avoid an awkward situation by running away. She wouldn’t fight it. Bad and regretful actions could ruin the only opportunity for them to enjoy the friendship they sought. It was better for him to go. She opened her room, collapsed on her bed and sighed loudly, sighing at the end. “Scrawny kid to stud,” she giggled. “I bet he’s dashing in his uniform…” She smacked her forehead. “Stop!” she yelled to herself. “Just stop it!” She sat up and threw her shoes off. “You have been so cautious about relationships, and here you are, ready to throw caution to the wind because of a thought of what he might look like!” It was going to be another long night for her. She pulled a beer from the fridge, another no-no in which the rule-makers did not need to know about, and slid onto the bed with her laptop in her lap. She tapped the mousepad as she chose a music list to listen to. “Wednesday is going to be here too soon.”

* * *

The chaos that occurred was short of the creation of Heavens and Earth in Greek Mythology. Pillows were thrown in good fun across the hall into other rooms while in another room they decided the generic tan color was not of their taste. She was lucky to catch the six cans of spray paint that followed. Her new roommate arrived after three. She was a timid creature, similar to a mouse that was looking for a place to hide. She held her school books close to her and peeked into the room. Riza was on her way back from confiscating a bong in another room to see the short girl enter her new room. 

“Greetings,” Riza announced as she came into the room. 

She was shorter, brown hair which touched her shoulders, and stood as if the world around her was about to eat her. Riza didn’t blame her. The girls at the other end of the hall might try. “Hi,” she squeaked. 

“I’m Riza,” she said as she held out her hand. 

“Sheska,” she answered, shaking Riza’s hand gingerly. She turned and looked at the two beds. “Which one do I get?”

“I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’m over here,” she pointed. “But it won’t matter. I can sleep wherever. I already have sheets on the bed for you.” 

Sheska nodded slowly. 

“Don’t be nervous,” Riza laughed. 

“But you’re the floor leader.” 

She nudged her with her elbow. “That means you get to get away with everything.” 

The small woman blinked at Riza as if she was speaking another language. 

“Oh, God,” Riza’s eyes grew twice as large. “Don’t tell me you’re a goody-two-shoes.”

Sheska shrugged. “I’m not adamant about the rules if that’s what you mean.” 

“Well,” she sighed. “No matter. Welcome. Make yourself at home. And let me know if you need anything.” 

She nodded slowly again, looking around. A crash down the hall caused them both to snap their heads to the door. Sheska flinched, holding her books closer, while Riza sighed. “Do you have a bookshelf? Or can you get one?”

Riza marched out the door. “Yeah. Be right back.” 

Come to find out, she wasn’t that bad as she could have been. Out of the whole hallway, Sheska was the easiest going. She was quiet as the introduction indicated. Books piled onto her desk and whenever Riza looked, she was reading. _She’s an A student,_ Riza concluded. With what little conversing was done, Riza also found that she did like to talk. However, she immersed herself in literature as Riza did music. There wasn’t one ounce of shock when she told Riza that she was working at the library, nor was there any surprise given when she said that she was majoring in literature and literature arts. She prefers tea to coffee and enjoyed staying up late. By Friday, Riza was excited to know about her and felt blessed she didn’t have a screaming pillow throwing monster like the one three doors down. 

Sunday morning Riza went for her weekend run, stopping by the dog park to watch a few dogs play catch. It was a regular thing for her to do, not that she played with any of the dogs. She’d always wanted one so she tortured herself by watching them. Once home, she barely had time to change when she noticed a message on her phone about a housing meeting. This early into the school year meant that one of the floors either had maintenance issues or there was a severe consequence of a student. These meetings bored her miserably. It was a council meeting, and there was little to nothing that she could actually say to influence any of them if influencing was needed. But she needed to be there. _Probably going to enact a new rule. Maybe they will say shoes are required because someone stubbed their toe. Freaking ridiculous._

And the meeting was just that. Some dumb nut of a kid slipped on a wet floor. This happened every year, and each year they ordered non-slip mats for the bathrooms. The kids never used them, and 95% of them were either stolen by the end of the year or tossed out because it made the dorm bathrooms look like locker room showers. Speaking of showers, she wanted to shower and call Roy when she got back to the room. He was probably working, but it was one in the afternoon and she already needed a beer. She opened to the room to a large box in the center of the room and Sheska on her bed looking innocent. It was covered in brown paper, like packaging paper, with no label or indication of its origin. “What is this?” She pointed to it and looked at it sideways. 

Sheska shrugged. “He said it was for you. I didn’t open it.”

 _Obviously,_ she thought, annoyed. “Who was it?”

She shrugged again. “Some military guy. He asked for you, then told me to give it to you. I’m sorry. I didn’t ask for a name.” 

_Roy._ She kneeled down to unwrap it. Under the rough brown paper, she exposed a new microwave. “God damn it, Roy.” 

Her new roommate looked over in curiosity. “I thought Microwaves were illegal.” 

“Looked down upon,” Riza grumbled. She fell back onto her rear and put her head in her hands. 

“Are you going to get in trouble?”

“Not if you don’t say anything,” she mumbled from her hands. 

“I won't,” she heard a timid reply. “But you’re right. I will get away with everything.” 

Riza moved the appliance to the side as she continued to inspect it. She had planned on getting a new on eventually after things had calmed down. There were still inspections going on. She’d have to figure out a way to hide it until it was calmer. She bit the nail on her thumb as she looked at the mini-fridge and back to the microwave. “Could have gotten me a toaster,” she muttered. 

“Is it really going to be a problem,” Sheska asked quietly. 

“No,” she grumped. “Just irritating.” She stood up to crawl on her bed, still staring at it as if it was going to jump or do a trick. With a frown, she crossed her legs and sighed loudly. 

“It’s a gift.”

“This gift can get us kicked out of the dorm.” Riza sighed through her nose. 

Her mousy friend tilted her head in confusion. “But I thought getting gifts from guys was a good thing. I’d love it to have a man shower me with gifts,” she whispered to herself, picking up her book. 

Riza should feel more thankful. She should just message him and say “thank you” and nothing more. But her fingers tapped on her leg instead. “But it’s something that Tyler would have done,” she said quietly to herself. Because her ex was exactly what she wanted to be comparing her childhood friend with. Roy was so much better. Or was he? 

“I think your independence is blinding you from some one’s innocent gesture.” 

Riza looked over at Sheska who was reaching for her brush. 

“You’re a single woman, at a young age, who’s independence has been a strengthening point to her existence. Then a heroin man comes in to whisk her away and make her happy but she’s going to fear losing herself in him in the process.” 

Riza continued to blink, watching her roommate brush her hair out before bed. 

“Seriously, Riza. Your life is a book.”

Maybe she was glass, seen through by everyone around her. She looked back at the microwave. 

“You can only put on the emotionless and serious persona for so long. He’s going to see right through you. He’s going to realize how wonderful you really are. It is at this moment that you will realise you will see though his brave exterior and into the soft caring man he is! You two are absolutely meant for each other!” 

As wrong or right as that it was, Riza frowned. _The person he left was abandoned in my father’s house._ “We’re meant to be together based on the gift of a microwave?”

Her roommate shrugged. “I’d like to think so.” 

The two of them slid the microwave into the corner of the room before going to bed. She’d find a way to avoid it being found till the inspections relaxed and she could go back to having contraband again. Riza cuddled under the blankets, turning to face the wall as she pondered what was next. They weren’t dating so why did he even give her a gift like this? It was a mystery to her. She didn’t ask for one. Maybe he interpreted it as so? She rolled back onto her back, staring at the plain ceiling above her. What was the purpose behind this gift then? What was he scheming? “Surely he wants to win my favor in going out with him.” She rubbed her face. “He’s such a dork.” 

The next morning, she stared at the microwave in her pajamas while she brushed her teeth. Maybe it was the idea that she never received a gift like this before. Or a gift at all. Riza looked up at her empty wall with her tired eyes. It was blank. She had nothing. Slowly she stopped brushing her teeth and Riza frowned before spitting in the sink. _Empty_. She wiped her face as she turned on the water in the shower. As she waited for the water to warm, she found her cell phone. 

**‘Hey. Thank you for the new microwave. I wish I could thank you properly.’** She clicked send, staring at the screen a second more before dropping the phone and getting in the shower. Maybe she should send something to him. _What the heck do I get him?_ Or maybe it’d be something she could do for him. _Maybe I can buy him lunch… He might consider that a date._

Her phone buzzed and she reached for it. ‘ **Thank you for the movie.** ’ That covered her. She took him to the movie, he bought her a microwave. That’s a fair deal, right? _Maybe I’ll buy him a pillow,_ she joked with herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo? Any good? 
> 
> I'll be honest. This is going to be an untraditional story arc as in the fact that Rebecca is not in it. Trust me, I don't like it either. But, she's in the sequel to this story and the timeline did not allow her to be in it. I'm just as upset. But hang in there, we're here for some good ol' Royai. We can miss Rebecca together. 
> 
> Don't forget to Kudo! Oh... And don't forget the comments. They are sunshine to the flower of this fic!  
> Thank you for being a reader!


	5. For but a smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy is just wanting to spend some time with his old friend, and see her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! A big thanks to Rando29 here. We've been sorting out the problems and the errors for a while. Gotta give him a big applause for helping me with this one.

“But I haven’t heard from her in a week!” 

“Oh come on, Roy.” 

“A week, Maes. I messaged her and just haven’t heard back from her.” 

The smell of bacon was thick in the kitchen, sizzling in the background. Next to it was a large pot, rich spices, and crushed tomatoes simmered. Roy watched as some peppers were slid into the pot. Mae’s beautiful wife turned the bacon before she started chopping up some garlic. Her tender grip held the knife as she crushed the garlic with the side of it. Cooking was her art and she was a master artist. Since Maes had met her, Roy had encouraged her to open a restaurant saying he’d eat there every day. 

“Quit messaging her,” Hughes cried out at his friend. 

“Roy,” Gracia added the garlic to the chili before turning around and wiping her hands on her apron. “We know how you are. You’re going to irritate her if you’re overloading her inbox of emails and texts.” 

He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms, pouting like a child. “I can’t handle the waiting…What if I did something wrong?” He grumped. 

She leaned against the counter. “Leave her be. Wait till Sunday. Then text her and just tell her that you have been thinking about her. Tell her you would like to meet, take her to lunch or something.” Gracia waved the knife at him from the kitchen. “Stop bugging her. You’ll annoy her and chase her away.” 

Roy frowned, looking at the table. Three beers, dripping with condensation, lingered without attention. He reached out to take his. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Maes quickly dismissed as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “Eat some of my wife’s chili, relax. On Sunday, text her.” 

He didn’t like it, but there was little he could do. He took a swig of his beer before looking up to watch Gracia chop the bacon and add it to the chili. He wanted that for him and Riza. He wanted to sit and watch Riza making dinner. Better yet, he’d want to be standing behind her, kissing on her, while she made dinner. He looked up at Maes, worried and tired. He whined pathetically as he looked down at the beer in hand. 

Maes chuckled in return, flashing a loving grin towards his wife. “She means that much to you?”

Roy nodded. “She is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen. I want to spend every waking moment with her.” He looked up at the two soul mates in front of him. They exchanged fond expressions that made his heart sink. 

“She’s grown in the past years,” Gracia reminded softly. “She’s not going to be the same girl that you caused ruckus with. She has a life now. You need to respect that.”

He rubbed his face vigorously. 

A burst of laughter echoed in the kitchen. “You’ve only been reunited with her for a couple of weeks!” 

“Maes,” Gracia instantly scolded. “You knew me for an hour before you knew you wanted to marry me. You have no room to lecture true love!” 

“I have known her since she was eight,” he moaned. 

“Enough of this dreary talk,” she demanded. She set three bowls on the counter. “We are going to have a good dinner, and when you go home you can be depressed.” 

With a bowl of spicy chili in front of him, Maes slid a small box across the table. “For graduating the officer school 2.0.” 

Roy shook it, looking curiously. He wasn’t expecting anything, and the only thing that was pressed upon his graduation was a big dinner from his aunt. He opened the small box carefully to see a pen. “A pen?”

“For all the reports you will be writing,” Maes grinned. 

“Did you tell Riza that you graduated?”

Roy shrugged casually, putting the pen aside. “It’s not that big of a deal. It was a simple ceremony. There was no reason for anyone to go.” 

Maes and Gracia looked at each other, clearly surprised at his decision, but didn’t say anything. Instead, the table quietened and Roy looked at his chili sadly. It’d been a week too long and he was already starting to think that she didn’t want to see him. There was no reason for it, but a bit of dread stirred angrily in his gut.

Roy took his friend’s wife’s advice and stopped texting her. It took incredible self-control to not send her flowers or to stop by. He just had to wait it out. Gracia was completely correct. Riza had grown up and Roy needed to respect that. 

* * *

The house was quiet, though he could hear creaks from the staircase. Someone was moving around. He should have gotten up to investigate, but he instead remained in bed. His hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. The cabinet door shut loudly and the water turned on. It was probably Taylor. He grinned as he got up and slowly made his way towards the stairs. Though the house attached to the bar was older, whining and creaking like an old woman going to bed, it was sturdy and admirable. With the room it offered, his aunt was able to take in foster girls. However, Roy had learned early on how to be quiet and the natural shifting of the house hid his steps. He heard another cabinet close as he leaned against the wall by the stairs. It was out of view from the person coming up and if it was Taylor, she’d turn right into him. He snickered quietly. After a few more seconds, he heard her quiet steps ascending the stairs. 

On the last steps, his leg muscles tightened, ready to spring forward.  _ It better be Taylor, _ he thought anxiously as he realized what he was doing.  _ Or I’m about to get my ass kicked.  _ The young girl, munching on cheesy crackers, turned the corner as he expected. With a quick step, he flew forward. “Rawr,” he said loudly. 

Crackers went everywhere with a loud scream. “Roy! You fucking asshole!” 

Roy put his lips to hush her. “Language,” he reminded in a gentle chuckle. “That’s payback for locking my window.” 

Taylor’s hands swatted at him, grumping loudly. “I fucking hate you!” 

He leaned back as he laughed. 

“Roy! Taylor!” 

They both turned to see Catherine poking her bright blonde head out the door. “I’m going to kick both your asses if you don’t go to bed. Taylor, pick up your mess. You know better than to eat late.”

Taylor instantly turned to glare harshly at her brother. “This is not over,” she pointed at him, her eyes dark with revenge. 

“You know better than to eat late,” he reminded mockingly, as he turned around. “You better up your sneaking skills.” 

“I’m going to stalk into your bedroom and stab you,” she muttered, bending over to pick up the cheese crackers. 

Roy didn’t worry. He’d had several of his foster sisters threaten to stab him. The next morning, however, he couldn’t help but look at his phone. He bit his lip roughly as he saw that the only new message was from Maes telling him that Jean was in town. Not only was he fretting about Riza and his attempt to bring her happiness through a falsely appreciated microwave, but he would soon receive a phone call from his buddy Jean to hang out, get drunk, and find women. Jean had always been the more sexually adventurous one in Roy's little band of friends. He mentally slapped himself in the face. 

The two showers that existed were both busy, steam flowing from the opening at the bottom of the door. Not only would he have to wait, but chances were not so good at having hot water.  _ I will just have to shower at the headquarters.  _ It wasn’t the best, but it’d do. He packed his uniform neatly in his bag and headed downstairs to grab a quick bite. 

“There’s my boy,” Aunt Chris quickly greeted with gruff. 

“Hey,” he grinned, reaching over Catherine to grab a piece of toast. 

“Don’t be waking the whole house tonight just because Taylor deserves a good scare,” she scolded lightly. 

“Yes Aunt Christy,” he mumbled with the toast in his mouth. Even at twenty-four, he was going to listen to her dutifully. He still lived under her roof by the grace of God. 

“Taylor,” she looked over at the younger teen who had a slice of bacon hanging from her mouth. “I don’t want to hear you creeping around late at night. As far as I’m concerned, you deserved a little scare. Don’t be taking food up to your room either,” she waved her finger at the young teen. 

“Bye,” Roy waved as he grabbed his thermos of coffee. “Love ya!” 

Showers at work were similar to gym showers. There wasn’t anything special, though it was generous for the military to offer some generic soap.  _ At least it smells nice _ , Roy thought as he rinsed his hair.  _ And the water is warm.  _ Outside some younger sergeants joked around, sounding like they were arguing for a moment. Roy couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He’d make sure to put them to work later. After a few more moments he hears a crash into a locker with a loud, “Ow,” followed by a groan of “I’m okay.” He didn’t want to know what happened. He’d probably have to write a report. 

He wrapped a towel around his waist as he went to the mirror to shave. He glanced at his phone to see no new messages, from Riza. He lathered his face with a cream, hearing the younger officers head out the door. A steady hand brought the blade up to his cheek, rinsing the cream off with the hot water from the sink. He wasn’t sure at what time he should text or even call Riza.  _ I don’t know her school schedule. I didn’t ask, _ He frowned.  _ I don’t need to further piss her off by calling her at the wrong time.  _ Still, his stomach felt like lead and he disregarded the idea of swinging by the mess hall for a breakfast sandwich. He checked his phone again, no messages, before turning it on silent and entered the halls to migrate towards his office. 

It was a nervous habit to look at his phone all day. He stared at his documents as if they were blank pieces of paper. It was bestowed upon him to coordinate and organize the next training exercises which were to be held in the North. The cold environment held its own special torture to the souls they sent up there once a year. However, it was necessary with the looming threat of Drachma. The past two weeks he’d been coordinating with Major Miles of Northern Command, but today he could not focus to read through any of the training requirements that Major Miles or his Colonel had sent him. He doodled on one page, instantly regretted it. Doodled on the next. That kind of absent-mindedness would only get him more work. In just over a month, when the temperatures even began to chill in Central, he’d be leading the enlisted up to lead in training exercises. His head dropped to his desk with a loud sigh. 

Shortly after one, he dropped his lunch tray on the table in the officer’s dining area and sat down heavily onto the bench. He pulled out his phone. There was a message from Taylor, but it was only a smiley face with its tongue hanging out. It took all his will power not to send her a middle finger emoji. Instead, he bit his cheek and opened a message to Riza. What was he even supposed to write? He wrote a few words, deleted them. Wrote a few more, before deleting them also. “Okay, Roy-Boy,” he muttered to himself. “Get your Major balls in order.” Then he chuckled at his own pun. 

‘ **Hey, Riza. Been thinking about you. I was hoping to catch lunch or dinner with you later** .’

Quickly he stuck the phone back in his pocket and picked up his sandwich. Even by the end of lunch, there had been no response. His foot tapped rapidly on the ground as he sat in his desk. He needed to go for a run, lift weights, go stand behind some cadets and stare over their shoulders like they were going to burn alive if they missed a target at the shooting range. That was always fun. He signed another paper and began to open his email when his phone lit up with a message on his desk. He stared at it, daring to think that it was Taylor messaging in school again. A battle between his attention began with a quick glance at his computer than back at his phone. His phone won as he picked it up. His heart’s beat quickened as he unlocked it to see “Riza” on the message alert. 

‘ **Hey, Roy. Been really busy today. Today is kicking my ass! But I have time for coffee at 2 if you’d like. Not sure what time you work until.** ’ __

Roy looked at his wristwatch. It was in an hour. He could manage to escape thirty minutes early. He told her it was perfect and immediately rushed through the email chains, replying back to the ones that needed his attention immediately. It felt like his whole body was lighter, however, he was still incredibly anxious to see her again. His fingers tapped a random tune on his desk, and his whole leg shook under his desk. By the time he was ready to run out the door, he felt as if he was meeting his recruiter for the first time. He could not be happier while he worried what was next. 

It was a quiet cafe. As he exited his car, the smell of coffee was apparent even outside. A familiar blonde sat outside at a metal table with her head in a book. She picked up her coffee in a colorful mug and brought it to her lips without taking her eyes off the textbook.  _ She at least looks like she’s in a good mood.  _ With a roll of his shoulders to loosen the tension, and a brush of the front of his uniform to make sure he was clean, he walked towards her. 

“Hey,” he greeted as he walked to the table. “How are you?”  _ What else am I going to say? _

“Hey, Roy. If you want plain coffee, Tom will be back out. He will bring you a mug. If you want something fancy, you might want to go in and get it.” 

He waved his hand in front of him. “Black coffee is fine for me.”

She put the book down, smiling at him. “I’m guessing you worked today.” her smile grew as her eyes looked him up and down. “Now I know why Sheska is in love with you too.” 

_ Too?  _ “Yeah. I snuck away.” He swallowed quietly. 

Riza laughed lightly. “I’m sorry for not getting back with you. I wasn’t ignoring you, just staying busy.” 

He laughed lightly, feeling the tension all but disappear. In the warm early evening, they chatted and laughed as they shared their week. He listened as she told him about the girls on her floor. “It’s like trying to keep kittens from shredding the blinds,” she groaned. One of her classes, an upper philosophy course, was quickly becoming one of her favorites as they discussed political sciences and the difference in thoughts on war and peace. “I thought about you today in class,” she admitted with an honest smile. “It’s interesting to read how some groups like Realists don’t believe that morals and ethics can be applied to a battlefield, and war is a natural necessity for countries. But there is a Just War Theory that advocates that war should include certain moral values. However, it’s not completely against it. There is only particular reasoning behind going to war. But I’m sure you read all about this, huh?”

Roy nodded. “Some of it. Our country is founded on rationalism.”

“What do you think?”

His brows raised as he took a sip of his coffee, which was perfectly brewed to make a smooth and flavorful cup with no need of sugar or cream. “It’s a touchy subject,” he admitted. “I don’t want to argue with you.” He knew many people, especially University officials, who disapproved of many of the military’s campaigns. They were costly and it was easier to recruit a young adult and offer them free school than it was to charge them a hefty rate to avoid war. Professors were quick to teach the terrifying and murderous repercussions of war. They wanted to bring peace to the country, and he wouldn’t argue with that dream. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with Riza if she sided with her professors. He didn’t want to create a barrier between them. 

“I’m serious,” she insisted. Her hand reached out to touch his. Gracefully, her fingers fell on his as a rose petal to the fertile soil below. 

He felt his breath catch for a second. “What I think is irrelevant. I follow orders.” He put his cup down as her hand slid from his. It felt as if silk was falling from his hand, sending tingles up his spine. “However, I do believe the reason for the war should be just. To go to war, just to fight, isn’t good for troop morale or the country’s well-being.” 

“What about fighting for land,” she continued to inquire. She leaned across the table, interested in what he was saying. He carefully studied her. He didn’t want to be interrogated or conned into judgment that would lead to her overall opinion of him. He hoped that she would honestly listen to him and his opinions. The gentle smirk and the squint of her eyes assured him the latter. 

Roy unbuttoned the top button of his uniform as he sat back. “If the county’s leaders cannot diplomatically arrange trades with neighboring countries, we don’t have the right diplomats,” he chuckled. “However, growing populations require more resources. It’d be in the well-being of the country to fight for those minerals and resources if the other countries were combative about a treaty or trade.”

“So you side with the welfare of our country? Would you then consider yourself under the realist category?”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted as he tapped his chin. “I don’t think that war is just, even if we wanted it to be. War is what the politicians make of it. Politicians do not fight wars, they start them. However,” he quickly added before Riza could get a say in. “I do believe that the army has more power than the leaders of the army do. Our Fuhrer Bradley must play his cards carefully. He must win the heart of the soldiers and convince them the reason they are fighting is for the country. The army needs a viable reason. If we are just fighting to take over a region or country just because, and the reasoning is not justful, the army can turn on its leaders. War is not moral,” he said firmly. “When I was in those trenches and men were charging back and forth, there was no white flag, or wait till my coffee was cold type of bullshit. It was preferable to kill the other, not capture them. We’d rather sneak up on them in their sleep. It was a better way to die, and they couldn’t fight back.” 

She frowned, looking down at her coffee as if she had an answer that was too truthful to swallow. 

“What is moral for us, is not moral for the enemy,” he continued softer. “It’s not fair. But it’s sometimes very necessary.” 

“Do you regret joining,” she asked quietly, avoiding eye contact. Her sideways bangs swayed as the breeze flowed through while her fingers tapped the side of her mug. It was probably a question that she wanted to ask from day one, possibly the day after he left. 

What he really wanted to see was her dark brown eyes. There was comfort in them, giving him some confidence that his world was going to be okay as long as she was looking at him. He took another drink as he watched two young men enter the cafe. The scar on his abdomen was a harsh reminder of his actions. He never wanted to experience that again, nor did he wish it on any other brother in arms. There was no fear that could compare to watching blood, red blood against a grey background, seep through his fingers. Everything around him was cold, but the blood was warm, and it flowed out from him like leaves fluttering from a tree in the fall. There was nothing he could do about it. The gun in his other hand slipped, the blood making it slippery. He had to continue to fight not only for his own sake but also for the man standing next to him. It seemed that the blood was bright, so distinctive in his memory. When it was your neighbor’s blood, or the enemy’s, it just didn’t feel the same as your own, even if he watched a friend’s eye grey with death. His hand tightened on his mug’s handle as his eyes squeezed shut. “No,” he said firmly. “I don’t. I fought for a country I love, and a woman I wanted to go back to.” It was his turn to let his fingers touch hers. The tips of his index and his middle finger flicking against hers as he watched them. Her picture that was kept in his pocket was imprinted in his memory. “For me, that is a worthy and justful fight.”  _ I’d get shot every day just to make sure you were safe. _

Riza smiled, blushing a bright red. Maybe he was a bit brash on his intentions and feelings. “I need to go to my last class,” she coughed lightly, still trying to hide her blush. 

“I hope it’s not a week before I see you again,” he joked, standing when she did. He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, biting his lip nervously.  _ Should I kiss her goodbye?  _ He glanced at her lips. 

“I hope not,” she agreed with a nervous laugh. Her hand shook as she reached into her pocket for some change. 

Roy reached out, stopping her. “I got it. Don’t be late for class.” 

Her hand stopped trembling as he caught those eyes for a moment. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He only nodded as he watched her walk briskly down the sidewalk back to campus. Her arms were stiff, her head down, as she walked quickly away. He had embarrassed her, but this time it amused him.  _ And I didn’t get to kiss her,  _ he chuckled at himself. He opened his wallet, throwing down enough money for both of them, and a generous tip, before walking casually back to his car. His shoulders were back, hand in his pocket, and a satisfied grin on his face. The truth was there. She loved him too. 

Even after a few days, Roy couldn’t escape the lightness in his step, or the cheesy grin on his face. “A bit chipper aren’t ya,” one officer commented as he strolled into the office. “Find yourself a lady who would sleep with your ugly mug?”

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that,” Roy countered. “And your information, Warrant Officer Brady and I have had lunch numerous times.” It wasn’t a lie. He was buying her secrecy. She happened to be the one to catch him napping in the library. 

He fell into his old office chair, one that was conveniently passed down to him from the officer above him. The office outside as well as the halls bustled today yet his concentration was spot on. He dove into the papers, called the academy, and even had the pleasure of including his input on bringing soldiers home from the front for Christmas. He was in an incredibly good mood. The only thing that could have made it even better was when his phone blinked with a smiley face and a text from Riza saying to call her. 

He picked up his office phone, dialing her number without thought. 

“Hello?” Her voice was nothing less than hearing an angel’s blessing. 

“It’s Roy. I’m using my work phone.” 

“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?” 

“Who are you to talk? Ms. Microwave passing judgment trophies now?”

She laughed loudly. “My microwave isn't recording my popcorn times.” 

He hummed as he leaned back in his seat. “I guess we will have to make code names so that they don’t know I’m talking to you.” 

“Oh,” she giggled. 

“Hmmm,” he thought out loud. “I can just call you Elizabeth,” he offered. 

“You do know that they are listening to you make me a codename, right?”

“Hey,” he leaned forward over his desk. “You’re the one who wants to be a spy!” 

She continued to laugh. 

“Speaking of which,” he tossed his pen in the air, watching it spin. “I talked to my aid, Lieutenant Hotchkiss, and my Colonel Fairbanks. I brought it up more as a joke, but I told them that my girlfriend wanted to play mole in the next games event.” 

“I’m your girlfriend now?”

Roy choked as he realized his mistake too late. “I couldn’t tell them that it was some girl I reconnected with a month ago!” He dropped his head into his hand.  _ Idiot.  _

“We have to go on a date before I’m your girlfriend.” Roy could have sworn there was a bit of optimism in her voice? He certainly could hear her smiling on the other end. 

His whole body bounced with excitement with the direction the subject was going. He had every intention of asking her on a date, however, was waiting for a good time to bring it up without that awful awkwardness of being friends but wanting more. 

Before he could say anything she asked, “What are you doing at seven tonight?”

He stammered. “Nothing,” he said as he decided that anything that  _ was _ happening at seven could wait for the next hundred years to be completed. 

“Meet me at Grumman Hall,” she invited happily. “Do you know where that is?”

“I’m sure I can find it. I have a friend in investigations.” 

“No cheating,” she joked. 

“So,” he said with a heavy suave in his voice. “Is this a date?”

She laughed as she coughed out a “no” several times. “This is a concert.” 

He frowned, huffing his disappointment. 

“I’m sure we can define the term date over ice cream afterward.” 

He sighed through his nose, leaning back in his chair. “I will be there,” he promised. 

“Sweet,” she cheered. 

Seven could not come fast enough. When he did get home and changed, he did so with such speed that he still had time to poke the Taylor bear. “She’s going to snap,” Catherine warned him. “When she does, I’m not saving your military ass.” She poked Roy in the chest. “I don’t think Chris will be able to save you either.” 

He scoffed as he leaned against the wall.

Belle poked her head into the living room. “You’re dressed fancy. Got a date, Lover Boy?”

“Not a date,” he corrected. “A concert. I was explicitly corrected.” 

“It’s a date,” Belle teased.

“You’re so cute,” Taylor teased. She walked by him, punching him in the shoulder. “Wear a condom. The world has enough stupid people in it.” 

He was about to call back that it was a pity her parent’s condom broke but Catherine’s glare stopped him. He instead let it go and adjusted the collar. “I’m going to go. I don’t want to be late.” 

The sun was going down when he strolled across the parking lot. He planned on insisting on buying the tickets. It excited him because it meant so much to her. Music had always been a love of hers.  _ It’s no surprise that she’s majoring in it. I bet she would teach it.  _ What was even more amusing is that she liked it because it was a passion of her father. It was the only way they connected. 

“There you are,” she greeted as he walked up the stairs. 

“I’m not late,” he worried as he looked at his wristwatch. 

“No,” she assured quickly. “I just got here early.” 

“So,” he looked into the building. “I’m going to insist on buying tickets.” 

“You’re more than welcome to,” she nodded. She opened the door for him pointing to the ticket counter. The blinds were down with a small “closed” sign on the window. “But it’s a free concert,” she whispered in his ear. 

Roy smirked at her trick. “You’re funny.” 

“I’m hilarious,” she corrected with a laugh. 

He’d never been in this concert hall. It was smaller than the one on the other side of town. It was probably built forty years ago, but renovations were obvious, unlike the movie theatre. Polished marble floor led them down the hall to the concert. The walls were painted a solid white. Roy could only think about the poor janitor who had to wash them. When he opened the door, it made no sound whatsoever, even shutting behind him with utter silence. The band was warming up on the stage, the tuning of instruments filled the auditorium. It was beautiful without an echo or an overwhelming of one instrument to the next. The black carpet under their feet quieted their steps as she led him up the balcony. There were quite a few people, most of them choosing to sit on the lower level. 

“I have to go to these concerts for class,” she whispered to him as she sat in a seat. 

Even the seats were nice, plush with enough cushion that Roy was sour that his office chair wasn’t this soft. It was already dark, cool air blowing from behind them. He admired the architecture. Though it was clearly renovated, it held a Victorian-era design. The half-circle around the stage was edged with dark wooden trim, elaborate with curls and leafed design. There were only two levels instead of three but the first level did slope. The second level which Riza had led him to sit, was short in volume. There were only three more rows behind him. The railing was also a dark wood, stained and sealed with polythene. Gold inlays decorated the edges of a white poppy flower on each section of the second row. A polished copper banister topped the ornate wood. It alone was worth admiring. Roy couldn’t help but wonder if it was original to the auditorium. 

As the concert hall quieted, Riza leaned close to Roy. “So, these are practice concerts,” she whispered. “They are like those free lectures you can go to on campus about the iron density of woolly mammoth fossils or about the necessary salt content in certain regions of the ocean that harbor proper Ikiwa seaweed.” 

Roy raised an eyebrow at her. “Ikiwa seaweed?”

“I made it up,” she chuckled. 

“Sounds like you’ve been to a few.” 

She quickly shook her head. “These are far more enjoyable. I promise.” 

She didn’t have to promise. He knew, and he’d be more than happy to sleep during a lecture with her if she ever invited him. Roy knew better to talk during the concert, however. He sat with his legs crossed, his hands folded in his lap, as he listened.  _ It’s too bad there was no popcorn _ , he thought humorously. At a glance, he noticed she was exactly offering her hand either. He stared at it in her lap from the side of his eye, her fingers interlaced as her eyes focused on the stage.

Riza was worth admiring during these times. They used to dance in her living room to certain records her father owned. He wished that there was room to move now, he’d ask her to dance. Her fingers instead tapped her knee and her eyes closed with a comforting smile that grew along her lips. Her whole body relaxed before his eyes. Roy didn’t understand how she could love something just to attempt to bond with her father. He was a cold man, emotionless, and isolating. He gave her basic needs but was not anything of a parent to Roy’s standards. There was no comfort. Roy would avoid music forever just in the memory of the ass her father was. However, her father was all that she ever had. His music was home to her. 

It was moments like this that he remembered why he fell in love with her, to begin with. She was passionate about everything she loved. His hand moved from his lap, resting it on the arm of the seat. The slow verse, stringed a higher tone to elongate the feeling of suspense in the song, was when she opened her eyes. He smiled, appreciating the beauty of this moment. The music, the fine detail of the auditorium, and Riza Hawkeye with her blonde hair pulled up into a clip and her bangs lazily falling to one side. Her attention was devoted to the next string of instruments. It was as if she was the only one listening, the only one at the concert. 

Roy nudged her with his elbow to get her attention. She snapped out of her trance and looked at him. He wanted to laugh as it seemed she had forgotten he was there. He opened his palm, face up and offered it to her. It was a long shot, a very long shot, but he'd offer it. She looked down at his hand, then back to his dark eyes, smiling happily. She turned back to the music as her hand dropped into his, squeezing it. 

Roy felt himself jump from the seat, his heart bursting his chest as lightning surged through his nerves. Metaphorically of course. Next to her, he sat calmly, holding her hand with every conscious effort to not squeeze too hard in his euphoric state. He didn’t want time to interrupt them. At that moment, he vowed to take her to more of these, as often as he could. He would do that for her if she could see her smile as she did every time. 

It stayed with him. He saw it when he slept when he daydreamed when he had any moment when his mind rested. And his body sparked to life every time. He wanted to see her smile like that, with a gentle rest of her cheeks and her eyes glowing with satisfaction in life. It was everything to him. It must have been obvious as Jean waved his hand in front of his face to break him from his daydreams. Jean blinked a few times. “And you say that I’m always in love,” He snorted. 

“No,” Maes corrected as he waved a fry at their blonde friend. “We say that you are horny. There’s a big difference.” 

Jean waved him away as he leaned back. “If it makes you lovebirds feel any better, I’m not seeing anyone.” 

“The women of the world are safe from your perviness for another day,” Maes muttered with his mouth full. 

“Why are you so twitterpated anyway?”

“He held Riza’s hand.” 

“Freaking hell,” Jean exclaimed, throwing a fry at Roy. 

Roy laughed it off, throwing the same fry back. 

“What are we? In freaking middle school?” 

“I will have you know that it was very soft,” Roy teased, though, being honest, it was. 

Jean rolled his eyes, dipping a fry into his ketchup. “So, the military isn’t offering me anything but some schooling,” Jean continued talking. Roy had spaced out for the beginning of it and he lingered on the edge of doing it again. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do now.” 

“Open a strip club,” Roy joked. 

“No,” Maes quickly argued. “Never use your own product.” 

“You haven’t seen my product yet,” Jean grinned. 

Maes rubbed his temple in a painful circle. “How are you this way?”

Jean leaned back in his seat with a wide grin. Roy was convinced he just liked the attention. “I blame my parents. They didn’t love me enough,” he sighed dramatically. 

“You’re so full of shit,” Roy laughed. “You’re your mom’s favorite. I saw the shit she sent you out in the trenches. You were spoiled rotten.” 

He kept grinning but refused to admit the truth. 

Maes swiped his hands together after he ate the last of his burger. “Well, I’m out of here. Gracia said I have to be home in time to clean the living room. Her parents are visiting.” 

Jean made a disgusted face while Roy chuckled. “Riza’s parents are dead.” 

“Lucky you,” Maes snorted. He stood up, throwing his wrapper in the trash. “Billiards,” he said as he pointed to Jean. “Saturday.” 

Jean stuffed the last of his burger in his mouth as he replied to Maes with a thumbs up. “So,” he mumbled. “Tell me, is she everything the picture is?”

Roy nodded, swirling a fry in his own ketchup. “She’s grown up,” he smirked. 

He lightly punched his shoulder. “How's that going?”

“I’m thinking of taking her on a date.” 

“You …. You haven’t taken her on a date yet?”

Roy shook his head. “There’s a baseball game on Friday. I'm taking her.” 

Jean blinked a few times before shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m job hunting Friday.” He rolled up his garbage into a ball. “I have an interview with this security firm here in Central. I’m not sure though. I’ve really thought about going back East to be near my family.” 

Roy understood that. There was a reason he was in Central. But Jean could go anywhere but he was happiest with family, and Jean’s father’s health was declining last he heard. Jean’s father had also been in the military and was a huge influence on Jean’s recruitment. It was very possible that his father was sick and Jean felt obligated to be with him. It also brought the thought that his father and his family knew about his injury. He had part of his intestine removed and his diet was altered; not that he listened to any of that. There was no doubt that his mother would spoil him and his sisters would coddle him.  _ I suppose we all have things we envy of each other,  _ he concluded to himself after saying bye to his war buddy.  _ My aunt isn’t one to coddle, neither are my sisters to much extent.  _ Roy supposed that a little of that would be nice. 

As he walked back to his aunt’s bar a grin grew on his face. He’d really like some coddling from Riza. It would be false if he told anyone that he didn’t fear her reaction to his wound. He hadn’t  _ really  _ hidden it from her. He had mostly just avoided the topic.  _ She’s going to freak out,  _ he told himself.  _ She’s probably going to be pissed that it even happened. _ However, while he laid in bed looking up at the ceiling, he could only think about her lips over his body. Maybe he was just as bad as Jean to want to be naked with her, kissing over her, hearing her moan, but he’d always wished it. When she was fifteen, he was eighteen. They never had relations just to avoid that complication. Roy’s hand reached down to rest on his side. It didn't hurt or ache like it did when it was going to rain. His eyes closed as he wanted to feel her lips against it, her hot breath sweeping over it.  _ But, I still can’t tell her. I don’t want to worry her.  _

* * *

He bit his lip as he thought about her reaction to his scar while he purchased the tickets to the baseball game. She stood behind him with her hair pulled back, a red hat on her head. They were playing the Eastern Forests. It was an expected win since the Forests weren’t that good of a team. It really didn’t matter if it was a good game or not. He doubted he’d even be paying attention to the game. He stood with his hands in his pockets, following her at a leisurely pace. There were shops of gifts and trinkets, but Riza didn’t look at anything too long. Then she stopped. Roy about bumped into her as he looked at what she was glancing at. A redshirt, made just for her, with the Brigadier’s mascot on it. It was a large muscled man, flexing his muscles and sporting a bright blond mustache.

“Oh my God,” she laughed. “That’s awesome.” 

He looked at it, then back at her with a grin. “You can’t go to a game without a game shirt.” With a wide smirk, Roy waved her over as they looked through the shirts, Riza still laughing. It was most amusing as she put it on as soon as she could. 

“You need a shirt then too.” She looked around the little store. Roy wasn’t going to let her pick out a blue shirt with sparkles on it. He quickly grabbed a generic shirt with the name of the team on it. “Oh, come on,” She whined. 

“No way,” he shook his head quickly. “I don’t want to look better than you.” She laughed bumping into him with an appreciative smile. She looked so happy, it made him happy. Every second with her was another second of complete bliss. Her smile was something you would find in a field of sunflowers, while her golden hair flowed so elegantly, he could have mistaken it for silk blowing dry in the sun. Her brown eyes were attentive, catching the excitement like a young child at a theme park. Everything from the tip of her head to her dirty blue sneakers screamed happiness. He wanted to rip his heart from his chest and give it to her.

She spent more time looking at the menu than at the shops. She tapped her finger to her chin as she scanned the menu. They had fancy options like a pizza, loaded nachos, even the “Brigadier Burger” which Roy decided right off to avoid spilling mustard on his new shirt. There were fancy hotdogs, cheap hotdogs, tacos, and even a cheesesteak sandwich. With no less than 20 types of soda and 20 brands of beer, Roy was even having an overwhelming time deciding what he wanted. This was the dinner part of the date. They could split a pizza, the heaping pile of chili cheese tater tots, or maybe “share” a half-ton of popcorn. 

“I guess a hot dog and a bag of peanuts,” she decided. 

“Wanting the whole experience, huh?” It wasn’t what he was hoping to offer her, however, he was determined to get her whatever she wanted. 

She snickered. “I guess I should get a beer too then.” There was an ecstatic smile, one he’d comparable to that was only similar to one of a child who was just tall enough to ride the roller coasters. 

“Two hotdogs, a white ale, and a dark amber by 33rd Brewing.” He casually pointed towards the popcorn. “A large bag of popcorn, and a bag of peanuts.” 

“Popcorn?” Apparently she saw the irony that was plastered over his decision. 

“I don’t have to share if you have peanuts,” he excused his choice and stepped aside, eating a piece and handed her the bag of peanuts. “Plus, this isn’t as salty as the last bag. You wouldn’t like it.” Now it was his turn to smirk at her. 

He didn’t skip out on nice seats either. Riza probably wouldn’t have minded cheaper seats, but Roy did. He wasn’t going to be accused by Jean or Maes of taking her on a cheap first date. The smell of the rich food wafted around them, cheering as the home team slid into second base, and watching her lean forward in her seat as the pitcher threw the next curveball, striking the batter out felt like he was in a dream. Several times he wondered if he’d wake back up in a trench with Old Man Grand kicking him awake. He didn’t know the score, and it didn’t matter. He was too busy memorizing how she sighed when something did not go right for Central’s team. He could hear her “awww” more distinctly than those around her. It was elevated, pronounced, distinctive, and now ingrained to his being. The cheers were of them standing up and her cheering as if they’d just scored a home run, even if it wasn’t such a spectacle. At one point, Roy suspected she was overreacting just to please him. That was until she smiled at him again. He turned to the gentleman behind him. “Hey, will you take our picture?”

“Sure,” he gentleman agreed. He leaned over to see around Roy as the umpire called their players safe at first base, a close call that he missed but Riza didn’t. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, unable to match the same grin on her face, as the man snapped the photo. The dirty and old photo of her that was laying on his dresser would now be replaced by a photo of the two of them. 

* * *

“You can’t wash that shirt,” she ridiculed. “You’ll wash the luck out of it!” 

“Mustard is not luck. And the beer you spilled on me isn’t either.” He pulled his shirt from his chest to see the stains. 

“If you wash it, every time you wear it, the team will lose.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow. "We won by one run." 

"Quantity doesn't matter! Winning does!" 

He burst into laughter. They stopped in front of the dorm's doors and he pulled his hands from his pocket, letting go of his watch. "Well, thank you for a great night," he said, still holding in his laugh back though it escaped lightly in his chest. 

“It was very fun,” she quickly agreed. “I would grade it a 7/10.” 

Roy frowned. “Not a 9/10. What did I do wrong,” he asked dramatically. He really wanted to know what could have made it better. He was going to make it up to her next time. 

“It just wasn’t romantic,” she said simply. She folded her arms. “I mean, a hot dog and peanuts for dinner?”

“Hey,” he defended. “You could have easily had loaded nachos!” 

They two returned to their laugher. 

“So,” he leaned forward. “Do I get to kiss you goodbye?” 

Riza smiled as she opened the glass door. “Naw,” she grinned. “I have a policy of no kisses till the third date.” 

Roy grabbed the door to hold it open for her. “Then will you go out with me tomorrow and the day after? I promise there will be a fancier dinner than a cheap ballpark weiner.” He leaned close again, close enough that he could smell her shampoo. It was flowery, fruity, which surprised him a little. He wasn’t sure why, but he never imagined lilly pear as her signature scent. His other hand reached back into his pocket, holding his watch tightly as his chest tightened.  _ Please don’t say no.  _

“I’m sure I will see you again,” she assured, a hand on his arm. He had to physically hold himself up from melting into the ground. He was far too in love with her. He’d jump off the highest bridge to see her smile. He wanted to drive a hundred miles per hour he felt so invincible. No mountain in Amestris would be tall enough to shout her name across the county. “I have to write a paper on the difference of culture in music between the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries before Friday. Can I call you later?”

_ You can call me anytime. Waking me up at two in the morning will only make me love you more.  _ “Sure.” 

“Good night, Roy.” 

“Good night, Riza.” 

There was no sleeping that night. He couldn’t while he was still hearing her laugh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG they are cute aren't they? Roy is just there to make her happy. 
> 
> Let me know what you think? Send me a comment, I feed off them like a hungry hungry hippo!   
> Thank you for being a reader.   
> See ya next week.


	6. For who you once were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their second date, Roy takes Riza to the aquarium.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to all the diligence of Rando29 in betta-ing this beast. You're the best.

“Would that be okay?”

“Yeah. I think it will be fun.” 

“I can pick you up at eleven. We can grab lunch there if you’d like.” 

“That’d be nice.” 

For whatever reason, Riza was not nervous about their second date. She felt good, ridiculously good. “You can stop looking at the clock,” Sheska told her as Riza’s foot bounced and her eye glanced to the wall. “You have thirty minutes.” It felt like the longest thirty minutes of her life. But the pacing and watching the clock tick wasn’t going to help. She sat down, turning to open her textbook. It wasn’t like she could study anyway. She stared at the pictures, read a few lines, and sighed heavily. “Sighing isn’t going to help either,” Sheska added. “Why are you so giddy about this date, anyway?”

“Should I not be?” Riza turned in her seat. 

“You two should just skip the dates. From what you’ve told me, you two were close before.” 

Riza looked back at her book. That was entirely too close of a comment to the truth. She should be pulling him into her, kissing him like they did when she was fifteen. She wanted him so close to her that she could feel his heartbeat against hers. So why was she being so distant? “I think he’s just grown up,” she whispered. “I’m afraid he’s not the kid I grew up with.” 

She could almost hear Sheska roll her eyes but definitely heard her sigh. 

“It’s not like some romance story that you read.” 

“It’s exactly like that,” she argued. “You two come together after a few years of being forced apart? And it’s you that’s fighting it!” 

“He made his decision years ago when he left for the military. He didn’t choose me.” Her voice trailed off into the dorm as she stared blankly at her book. 

“He’s choosing you now,” her friend argued. 

She was right. She was right in so many ways. A smile crept over her lips, as she remembered his eyes bright and excited to see her when they met in the bar again. Her body felt as if a thousand volts surged through it, and she shivered with excitement. It was still him. It was still Roy. And if anything, it was them being able to hang out. That in itself felt amazing. She took a deep breath and looked at the clock once more. It was even more of a wonder if he’d be on time. He had a habit of taking his time on tasks, but would he be late picking her up? 

“Where are you going?”

“The aquarium,” Riza answered. 

“Oh! Romantic lighting,” she giggled. 

Riza turned, blushing. “What are you talking about? It’s dark!” 

“Exactly.” Sheska put down her book with a mischievous grin. 

Riza rolled her eyes. “I have a three-date rule,” she added. “I’m not breaking that for Roy.” 

Sheska only continued to look content in her comments as she raised her book back to her eyes. “You’ve already kissed him when you were kids.” Riza heard her giggle. “Could it be any different?”

Riza turned from Sheska and hid her bright red blush. 

“If anything, it’s probably gotten better.” 

She dropped her head on the table. 

“For him, I wouldn’t have a three-date rule.” 

“Sheska,” Riza mumbled from her desk. 

“He can whisk me off my feet and onto a white horse, fading into the sunset.” Sheska gasped romantically and fell back onto her bed. Her hand laying over her eyes. 

“Roy’s like that too. Do you know how many times he wanted to run away with me?” 

“And you think he’s not head over heels for you?” Her friend sat up, gasping. “How romantic!” 

“I was fifteen.” 

Her face dropped. “Okay, now it’s creepy.” 

They laughed lightly as Riza rubbed her face. Before she could say anything, her phone vibrated and she looked down at it. 

**'Hey! I’m here early** .'

She looked at the text with a smile. 

“Looks like I’m out of here,” she exclaimed. 

“Do me a favor,” Sheska called. Riza turned to look over her shoulder. “Will you at least kiss him  _ for me _ ?” 

Riza groaned and shut the door behind her. Her steps were quick to the elevator, toe-tapping as she waited. As soon as she was downstairs, her stride widened and she hurried towards the door. He was leaning against his car like some 1970’s romance movie, looking at his phone. There was something in the air that just made him so attractive, like when they were young and he would lean against a tree to overlook a scenic view. Her pulse pounded in her ears and she tried to look casual. “Hey,” she called. 

“Am I too early?” He put his phone in his pocket and “I was able to escape a bit quicker than I thought.” 

“You’re fine,” she dismissed, stopping in front of him. His messy hair in front of his dark eyes was paying with her heart. He had a slight smile that curled lopsided on his face. 

“I’ve never been to the aquarium in Central. Have you?”

“Once,” she admitted. “When I first got here, we went as a group of friends.” 

She watched as his hand almost dashed into his pocket and she was sure she heard him tinker with something. “Then nothing has really changed,” he said after clearing his throat. 

_ Nothing has changed,  _ she thought as she relaxed. Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered what Sheska said about kissing him. It was not a forgotten memory and Riza had to fight off a blush.  _ Nothing has changed in the least.  _

Roy did as any gentleman would do and opened the door for her. She expected no less from him. She let him shut the door for her and watched as he walked around the car, looking back at her with that same lopsided grin. She remembered it too well. When they were up to mischievous deviance, he’d wear that same grin. If they were going to throw stones in the pond, tend to her garden, or go riding and stay out late looking at the stars, he’d have a playful grin on his face. She remembered when they decided to go cow tipping and ended up running for their lives when they thought a bull was a cow. Another time, she attached a rope to a tree branch over the pond to swing from. Her father would have lost his mind if he found out they were swimming together. Her favorite was when they’d sneak out. There was one time he took her to a midnight movie after bedtime. Riza remembered them holding hands as they walked in. Would he expect to hold hands on this date?

His door opening broke the recollection of her childhood and he slid in with an exhale. “I heard they are doing an exhibit on dinosaurs,” he chuckled. “I’m not even going to attempt to say the names correctly.” He started the car. “But some of them looked really cool.” He checked his mirrors as he pulled from the curb. “I’m not sure if you’re into dinosaurs or not, but it may be fun.” 

“I think it will,” she agreed. “It’s one of those things you learned about in school, but never went into detail about.” 

He nodded. “Well, as long as it doesn’t bore you, then it’s a success for me. How’s school going?” 

Another factor that she enjoyed, and always had enjoyed with Roy, was his attention to listen. He happened to have a sense of confidence, fake or not. He always made it look like he was sure of his actions. However, he could stop and listen to her as if it was the most important thing to him as well. So, as she went on about her paper on influential composers of the 17th century. No one else would have found the topic the least bit interesting, but he listened as if he was. He smiled and nodded as if he was following along completely with her. And maybe he was. 

“That’s interesting. I never thought about that,” he said. 

“We focus so much on the piano, we fail to see brass instruments used as the main tone of the piece.” She looked out the window. “However, when you get into Aurego influence, it’s more of a religious overtone. You can grasp the sense of style and pass time through the music.” 

“How so?” 

“Henry Purcell’s music is bold. Almost victorious in his work. It’s militaristic, very brassy and dominating, as his country was. You can see and feel the glory of the battle and feel the celebration in a court of the king. While Domenico Scarlatti was light with strings. It’s soft, delicate, and you can feel the civilization and aristocracy and appreciation of arts rather than war.” 

“You can hear that just in the music?” These were the questions that made it known that he was paying attention. 

“It’s a capture of the cultural importance of the time and place.” 

“It’s a shame that you don’t play music,” he sighed. 

"Father could never afford that,” she sighed. “And I was too busy shooting and running around with the neighborhood boys to do anything girly like.” 

“Yeah,” he snorted a laugh. “If your father ever knew that you won a shooting competition, he would have lost his mind.” 

Riza laughed loudly. 

“But even that,” he interrupted. “You’re taking a shooting class. Why won’t you go into firearms? It was something you were really good at?” 

“Technically it’s a history of firearms,” she corrected. “But Maria and I joined it because the class does shoot historical firearms.” 

He grinned. “You take a lot of history classes.” 

She frowned thoughtfully, realizing her trend. “I do…” 

The car quieted as he turned down the last road, seeing the aquarium within sight. She’d never considered that a good majority of her classes were about history. She never would have thought that as a kid. In fact, she wouldn’t have considered many things about herself. She didn’t think she’d be in Central or becoming a teacher. Maybe it was circumstantial in the fact that she just went with it, however, it had enveloped her. She had changed. And for that moment as they pulled into the parking lot, Riza admitted that he could have too. It was an obvious thought before, like a crawling itch in her head that reminded her that time had passed and the military man was not a hundred percent the boy that she shot cans within the woods behind her house. Her body tensed. 

“I can get my own door,” she smiled as she opened it as Roy exited his door at the same time. 

“How am I supposed to be a gentleman?” 

Riza laughed, curling a stray hair behind her ear. Gentleman. He’d been one of those as he got older, always raised with a firm discipline of his aunt. It was reassuring to see that his expectations on how to treat a woman hadn’t changed. “I suppose you can buy me lunch.” 

“I was already planning on doing that,” he frowned. 

He leaned on the counter watching him pay for their tickets. She stood behind him, looking at his broad shoulders. His back stood straight and his jacket curved inward. That hadn’t changed. He just stood straighter, as if posture was ingrained into his being. Roy turned and handed her a ticket, breaking her concentration. 

“Are you okay,” he asked, smirking again. “Looking at my ass?” 

_ Nope hadn’t changed at all.  _ She scoffed and pushed him playfully to the side. “Come on, I want to see the fishies.” 

Their stroll was casual, his hands in his pockets as she looked at the map that was provided at the beginning of their “aquatic adventure.” The first area was a kid playground area with baby fish and octopuses. She noticed Roy stopping to look at a few. The kids ran around them, screaming as they played games and plastered their faces to the glass to see an octopus change colors. 

“Aren’t they cool,” Roy said as he pointed towards one. 

She came over, bending down to look. She reached over to hold on the ledge only to feel his hand under hers. She jumped back, blushing. “Sorry,” she said quietly. There was a bit of surprise in herself. Their hands had brushed before, and he’d even held her hand before. Why did she pull away?

Roy laughed. “You’re so cute.” He leaned his head back as he continued to laugh. “But no really, it just crawled into the tiny space.” 

He was not bothered by it? Or maybe he was and just wasn’t going to show it? Riza tried to control her red face as she continued down the path towards some lionfish. The plaque read that they were poisonous, something she knew. “Holy crap,” she said out loud, pointing to the fish. “They lay up to thirty thousand eggs!” 

Roy stuck his hands in his pockets as he walked and stood behind her. “Productive little bastards, huh?” 

“It says that they hatch after two days and can live up to fifteen years in the ocean.” 

“Rabbits of the sea,” she heard a chuckle behind her. 

“I’d say.” 

There was no rush to their meandering. He kept his hands in his pockets, and she took an obvious note of this. He stood back, walking slowly. Riza turned as they looked at the starfish, leaning down and waving him over. “Did you know that if you cut the leg off a starfish, that the leg will become a new starfish?”

Roy leaned down, close enough that Riza could smell the cologne that he was wearing. “They are pretty cool,” he nodded. “I read that they have some in the touch tank too.” He bumped his shoulder with hers and nodded to the scene before them. “Look how colorful the coral is.” The air was cool, but she could feel his warmth. It was dark that she bumped into him and she steered to another tank. Shoulders would meet, she’d hear a chuckle from him, and her heart would skip in her chest. 

Sheska was right, and Riza was sure Roy had planned this. The dark lighting made it too easy to even bump hands. It was blue and dark, strangely romantic. From the lighting on his face, she could see a relaxed and even comfortable smile. “Sorry,” she'd quickly apologized as they’d bump, for the third time in the hall. Roy chuckled, put his hands back in his pockets. If he was blushing, she couldn’t see it. He instead walked closely, keeping his hands in his pockets as if he was trying not to touch her. Or maybe it was her own reactions. It was fair to wonder if he would pull from her if she wrapped her arm around his and pulled him towards the cafe. It was even more curious to wonder if she touched his hand on purpose if he’d pull back like that. She watched him, waiting to see him blush or to avoid her in some way, but he didn’t. He instead invited her closer to him. 

“Come look at this,” he waved towards her. “Come here.” He reached his arm around her, pulling her around the glass so that she could see the eel. His fingers pressed on her lower side, dangerously close to her hip as he did so. Roy took in a deep breath, pulling her again towards the coral. His chest was against her back, and she could feel his breath against her neck. His arm, pointing towards the eel, was forgotten as Riza’s blood ran hot. She swallowed hard, an attempt to keep her memories of this at bay. It was useless. She didn’t care about the eel anymore. She, instead, thought about his hands sliding down her arms, resting on hers and the space between them faded. How his cheek would be pressed against her cheek as he’d pull the putter back and gently sway it forward, telling her, “softly,” in her ear when they were younger. But this was not mini-golf. This was the aquarium. Not as children but as adults, and this breath against her cheek affected her in a much more dramatic way than a mini-golf game. 

Just as her memory faded, he did as well. As if nothing had happened, he stood up, put his hands in his pockets, and walked down to the next exhibit.  _ Oh, he’s got this whole freaking thing planned out,  _ she thought as she squinted her eyes at him. And it was working too. It was hard enough that she couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was a good wonder if he was too.  _ No, he knows it.  _ He was on the same boat. She had no doubt in her mind that he was obsessing over their childhood and aching for the past as well. 

_ He’s changed,  _ she continued to try to tell herself. However, her own voice was drowned out by the other voice begging her to grasp his hand and lean against his arm.  _ You’re not fifteen anymore. You’re a woman. And he knows it too.  _ But he was still her Roy, wasn’t he?

“Hey,” he called to her, breaking her from her argument with herself. He nodded to the side as they entered an area designed like Atlantis with a small cafe and a couple of tables. The area was more accepted as a point to grab a coffee or water and maybe a small snack. That was not Roy’s intention. He bought two premade sandwiches and two sodas. They sat down at a table while she looked around to see the ceiling curve, fish swimming above them in lazy patterns “It’s not special,” he sighed. “But it’s something until we leave.” 

It was fun, almost cute, the way they were enjoying themselves. There was no shortage of memories of that. He stole her away to go to the country fair and they must have spent the whole day walking around and eating cotton candy and admiring the horses. Now that she thought of it, he’d walk behind her with his hands in his pockets then too. Though her sandwich was a bit bland and cheap like it was designed, her imagination was on fire. Thoughts and memories swam through her mind as she watched him smile back at her, chewing slowly. Her hormones must have been spiking because he was just the most handsome thing that she’d seen.  _ Then again _ , she reminded herself.  _ Tyler was the same way.  _ She and Tyler might have worked out. Her gut tightened as he thought about Roy being like Tyler. What if he thought about her the same way her previous boyfriend did? 

“I hear the shark tank is pretty cool,” he muttered with his mouth full of his sandwich. 

Riza nodded, brushing her bangs from her eyes. “They have some pretty neat ones.” 

“I wonder if the dinosaur exhibit has a magical talking liopleurodon.”

She almost choked on her sandwich, causing her to cough as she laughed. 

“What,” he said before taking a drink of his soda. “I think it’s a fair question.” 

“You’re being silly.” 

“But is it working?”

Riza took a drink of her soda and tilted her head to the side. “Is what working?”

“Me being silly? It’s making you happy?”

She laughed again. “Yes, Roy. You make me happy.” 

His grin grew across his face as he sat up straight. He looked as if he was in fourth grade, given a gold star for doing a simple math equation properly. He took another bite of his sandwich, still smiling as he chewed it. He did make her happy. 

Before they could enter the dinosaur exhibit, his phone rang. They both stopped. He stopped to reach into his pocket, she stopped because his phone rang.  _ Why didn’t he turn it off?  _ He lifted a finger after seeing the caller ID and stepped away. His voice deepened, as if it was a serious call, lowering his voice. She could barely hear him. It felt wrong as she strained to hear the conversation and the angel on her shoulder encouraged her to go on without him.  _ He will catch up later, _ it said. Her legs refused to move. It was odd seeing him stop everything, even if he was out with her. Thoughts rushed through her mind, reminding her that he was in the military, to wondering if it was simply his aunt.  _ It wouldn’t be that serious if it was his aunt. _ The military was her only conclusion. Her stomach turned, and her smile fell as she imagined him having to leave.  _ That’s what they do. They leave.  _

Maybe he wasn’t the same after all. He never answered the phone before, and he never had such obligations before. Surprisingly enough, he was more mature and responsible. That wasn’t such a turn-off. It came as a realization that he was being shared by other factors in his life. It made her tilt her head, wondering if she was jealous. Just because he had grown up and was now a responsible adult didn’t mean that they couldn’t have snowball fights and cuddles on the couch. If anything, it was more appropriate now than they ever had been. Because kissing one adult to another was unquestioned. It was okay. 

Riza massaged her bottom lip with her tongue, thinking about his slipping against hers. He turned, waved her on and leaned against a dark wall. His eyes darkened and his face turned from the smiles of a proud fourth grader just moments ago. He has another side of him. Besides her father passing away, which was more of a blessing than she’d admit, her life had been mostly golden since going to college. She didn’t take into consideration of his experiences or failed to continually acknowledge it. Somehow, it nerved her that he didn’t share more with her. He would have five or four years ago. Now he was keeping secrets?  _ You can’t call them secrets,  _ she told herself firmly.  _ He’s not withholding them from you intentionally. You just have to ask about it.  _

Riza turned, tucking a strand of hair behind her head as she began her adventure through the aquatic reptiles of the Mesozoic period. There were smaller replicas of them, plaques on the wall, and pictures of them. One famous one was the Pliosauroid. She looked carefully at it, reading that it was not considered a dinosaur but a lizard. Without him next to her, it just felt weird. It wasn’t a date anymore. It was just her going through a museum-like area, looking at giant lizards. She turned her dark brown eyes to another small replica with a name under it. “Leopleurodon,” she snickered. She turned, expecting him to be behind her, but he still was not. The phone call must have been that serious. It was serious enough for him not to decline it and come back to her. 

She exited the area and looked up to see him still on the phone. He rubbed his forehead, his fingers trailing down to his temples that he rubbed. She frowned again, walking towards him. Enough was enough. She wasn’t going to hide it anymore. They might not be officially dating, but it didn’t change the fact that his hand was warm, and a source of comfort. His eyes met hers and he mouthed an apology. Her hand reached out to his, grasping it before he could put it in his pocket. It was amusing how fast his mouth jarred open and his eyes widened. She tossed her head to the side, feeling younger than she was as she tugged on his hand. She shouldn’t have to beg for his attention. 

“I have to go,” he said quietly. “I will. Yeah.” 

She squeezed it, pulling at it again. “Let’s go,” she whispered. 

He pushed end on his end looking down at their connection. “Does this mean that you like me, like me?” He joked. 

She blushed and looked over at a large tank with sea turtles. “It means we’re on a date and you should be paying attention to me.” 

“Sorry,” he muttered back. 

“I never really got an answer from you, for what you do exactly?” 

Roy looked down at her, not tightening his own hold on her hand. It was comforting. It was a symbol of the two of them, a reassurance that everything was, and would be the same. Even though she knew it wouldn’t. “I thought I told you. I work in training with cadets.” 

“That’s vague.” 

“Well,” he squeezed her hand again. “Maybe one day I will show you.” 

“I would like that,” she smiled sincerely. She wasn’t sure if it was an empty offer, but it made her feel warm that he’d invite her so easily. “Come on, you need to see this dinosaur exhibit,” Riza tugged. 

Roy followed her, glancing at their hands as she gave him the tour that he missed before. She’d glance back to see him looking at the mini scaled models and the signs. He hummed in agreement, less interested than she was. She’d glance back and their eyes would meet. It was funny what a simple hand-holding could do to him. Even as they walked, their hands were cemented together. He wouldn’t let her go, and Riza refused to let him go. It became a game between them, subconscious as they walked, glancing at each other as they dared the other to let go first. Suddenly, the Liopleurodon didn’t matter. The childish game did. Her eyes darted back to see him staring at her. He wore a soft smile, completely content with the trap that both of them found themselves in. He let her lead him from one end to the next, stopping at each dinosaur, Riza explaining what the reading tells them. 

She tilted her head as she walked into the sea lion area. A large glass wall held in a large tank with three sea lions in it. They swam by, even stopping a few times to check out the people on the other side of the glass. She felt him lean against her, his lips coming close to her ear. It made her shiver as she felt his breath upon her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have taken that phone call.” 

Riza let go of his hand and turned to look at him. They were almost chest to chest, just inches apart. “What was it about?”

His body tensed for a moment before he sighed and looked over at the large animal swimming by. His shoulders relaxed before he turned back to her. “It’s complicated. But in short, one of my sergeants is being court-martialed, and I just found out about it. I have to go to it and testify.” 

“Are you in trouble?” Her chest tightened with the atmosphere. 

“No,” he chuckled, looking back at her. “It’s just stressful.” He pulled her into a side hug. She could smell the richness of his musk and his body wash, making her mouth water. “Don’t worry about it. Let me worry about it. We’re supposed to be having a good time.” 

It wasn’t just responsibility, but he was also mature. However, she realized that he hadn’t changed in one real way.  _ “Don’t worry about it. Let me worry about it.” _ He was always there to take care of her. It wasn’t until he left her porch, that his guardian tendencies stopped. Now that he was back, it made sense that it’d return. It wasn’t her father he was protecting her from, but the stresses of being an adult. She allowed the side embrace, though she’d prefer him to pull her into a full hug, one that she could feel the comforting warmth envelope her. She wanted to feel the hold that saved her from the world’s cruelty. Maybe they weren’t there yet. Maybe at one point, they were, but not now. 

They had to start over, and Riza was just realizing that she didn’t want to. 

His hand returned to hers as they casually strolled along. Her anxiety rose, attempting to calm herself at the internal ball in her chest that shook with excitement. He was probably doing the same thing, but looking at him, he looked calm and collected. She watched as a smile, though ever so slight, peeked from his lips. The darkness around them only illuminated the bright tanks that the sea lions swam happily in. Across were the seals, playful and curious. They could have watched them all day if she’d asked. But she didn’t want to stay in the dark. She wanted to find a secluded space where she could break the rules she’d instituted on herself. 

“They have a touch tank,” Roy grinned, pointing down a hallway. 

It was his turn to drag her down the hall, coming out into an open area with tanks in front of her. Children darted to and fro and they reached into the tanks to touch the sea creatures. One tank held small skates, a smaller version of a ray, while another tank was full of starfish and anemones. She felt his hand quickly wrap around her waist as he pulled her closer, approaching the rays. She swallowed the excess drool that she was producing. There was his smell again. Spruce-like cologne wafted over her. Her cheeks flared into a blush and she’d forgotten where they were. Pressure on her hand broke her dreamy distraction and Riza looked down to see Roy putting her hand in the water as the sea creature swam by, her fingers brushing its sandpaper-like skin. 

“This is so cool,” Roy chuckled excitedly. 

“You’re so funny,” she laughed. 

“Why?” He leaned over to touch another ray. 

“You’re just so childish at these things.” 

He looked at her, grinning ear to ear, and leaned closer to her. For a second, she thought that all her daydreams were going to be complete in a simple act by some skates in a children’s discovery center. He neared her, close enough for her to see his eyelashes. His black eyes, dark as the night, smiled at her. She instinctively licked her lips and swallowed again from choking on her own spit. But instead, Roy stopped short. “You bring it out of me,” he whispered affectionately. “You make me feel young again.” He should have kissed her. Just a peck, a teasing brush that she ached for. And she wasn’t going to reach for him since she was the one that insisted on a three-date rule. She’d destroyed her own soul. Riza was her own victim.

Behind them, children ran briskly by, eager to get their spot next to the two adults. They bumped her roughly and she stepped forward to catch herself. Maybe Riza just wasn’t paying attention to how close she was standing, but she was too surprised when she bumped into him. Once again, Roy just laughed it off, but Riza’s emotions were running wild, to say the least. They were off in some forest jumping over fallen logs and swimming in wild rivers.  _ Everything is telling you to,  _ she tried to reason with herself.  _ The world wants you to kiss him!  _ How would she do it? Would she just reach up and grab his shirt? Would she look up at him, standing up on her toes enough that their lips would meet gently, caringly? Or would she give him a short and innocent peck? Before she could decide, he turned from her and walked casually to the other tank. 

“They have sea cucumbers,” he called, reaching into this tank next. He was dreadfully attractive, even as his fingers grazed the jelly-like water caterpillar. “Have you ever felt one of these?”

Riza couldn’t say she had. Weaving through a migration of children, she leaned over and poked at a pink, spiney, starfish. They were not as soft as the sea cucumbers. He reached over and poked another sea cucumber next to her hand. Riza couldn’t help it. She reached up, leaning towards him as her fingers grazed next to his. He cleared his throat and Riza glanced from the side of her eye to see him blushing. His finger played back, sliding up and over her fingernail before he cleared his throat again and turned to grab a towel. She could see it, plain as day, he was taken back by her affection, and it amused her greatly. 

“I promised to help at the bar, and I know you have to get back to homework.” He handed her the same towel. 

She nodded, looking at her watch to see the allotted time she had was dwindling to an end. 

It was hard not to frown. Both of them were reluctant to leave as they meandered the area. His hands were back in his pockets as he looked out a window to the sea lion exhibit from above. Riza watched him, knowing he was deep in thought about something. He was a thinker after all. He liked to plan things out, details covered. He looked over his shoulder and pointed out the window. “Check it out,” he waved at her. Riza made her way over, looking out the window. “This sign says the male is called Big Ben.” 

“They have a sense of humor,” she laughed. 

“Lucy Lou and the other female is Bertha.” 

“They are so big,” she observed. But her mind was elsewhere: their hands, lingering together and they petted the soft sea worm. The way her heart felt, beating erratically against her breastbone; her stomach tight, anxious; her hand reached out, looping it around his wrist and leaned close. “I missed us,” she admitted. 

“I missed us too,” he whispered back. 

Their steps were casual, though Riza’s heartbeat was anything but. She was certain he was the same considering how sweaty his hands were. She looked towards a park, seeing a few kids playing on a big whale cresting from the grass. It was just like them. How they’d climb over the jungle gym in the city park or swing on the swings late at night before she headed home. And the older boy raised his hands in victory, yelling out that he was a winner. Getting it from some game they must have been playing. Nevertheless, her memories flashed Roy doing the same thing. Back in the days of tamed short hair, and a competitiveness that ruled his child’s heart, he’d climb to the top of anything just to yell out that he ruled everything. As he grew older, it grew into trees. The worst of all, she’d follow him. She’d follow him anywhere he took her. 

He got to the car, turning and opening his mouth, only to shut it. His hand rubbed the back of his head, and he looked down to the ground. 

“What,” she asked, tilting her head. He opened his mouth again before looking up at her. Riza walked up to him, stopping close to him. His face reddened and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

Roy’s blush didn’t go away. It looked perfect with his black hair and his blue shirt. “I know,” he admitted softly. “It’s just that your hand felt…” 

He had been doing the same to her. He’d been evaluating their aged differences in behavior. It was her turn to blush madly. This was going to end in her dorm room or his bedroom if she didn’t get it under control. Although she wanted it to go there, and she was sure he did too, Riza wasn’t ready to expose herself and let her be stripped bare over a wanted kiss. 

“I felt that your hand felt the same too,” she admitted. She looked into the car before sliding in. 

When she didn’t think that he could get any redder, he did. And as he got into the car, starting it, he stared out of the windshield. “I,” he mumbled. His hands gripped the steering wheel, though not shifting it into gear. “I like holding your hand,” he whispered but quickly laughed. “God, I must sound like a teenager!” 

Riza laughed with him, shaking her head before brushing her bangs from her face. “It’s hard not having what we had before,” she admitted softly. “It feels like we have to start all over.” It wasn’t much different from what she told Sheska before the date. 

“I don’t want it to be different,” he admitted quietly. 

She looked out the window, licking her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Then let’s not make it different,” she whispered. 

He started the car, turning in his seat to look behind him. “Everything is different.” 

“See,” she laughed lightly. “I’ve been watching you. And there’s not much difference.” 

He raised his eyebrow at her for a moment before going back to looking behind them. 

“You’re still immature and you’re still a gentleman. You have the same grin when you get excited. You hold my hand the same way.” She leaned back and turned her head to see him put the car into Drive. “Why do things have to be different?” 

Roy bit his cheek, frowning. She could see him mulling it over, but he didn’t say anything right away. “Because we’re adults.” He sighed loudly, looking woeful. 

But that was what she was thinking the whole day. They were adults. It was more than okay for them to be what they were before. There weren’t laws, or parents, or ethics standing in their way. Sheska was right all along. “And what’s wrong being an adult?”

Roy gave a toothy grin and laughed. “I suppose there isn’t. But there is more involved than just holding hands.” 

“I’m aware of this,” she answered quickly. He had a decent point.  _ He’s winning your trust,  _ her conscience told her.  _ He’s respecting you.  _

“What homework do you need to get done,” he asked, clearly trying to change the subject. 

“I have a presentation.” 

He looked at her from the side of his eye. “What is it on?”

“Firearms of 1880 to 1900.” Riza grinned. “I’m actually enjoying this one.” 

“I have a book about firearms from the 1940s, but nothing that early.” 

“A lot of revolvers and shotguns,” she chuckled looking down at her hands. They were fumbling, picking at the nails with anxiety. “It’s an easy one to do, I just need to sit down and do it.” 

He nodded. “I’d rather be doing that than working at Chris’s bar. I have to pick up two kegs on my way home. She’s got this hired help, Dan, to help me tote them in.” 

“Roy Mustang not as big and strong as he used to be?”

He smirked. “No. Chris doesn’t… She doesn’t want me to hurt myself. You know how she is.” 

Riza nodded. He was her boy, even if it was by adoption. She did, however, note the tone and the way he phased it. It sounded too much like an excuse. However, Riza put it behind her, assuming he was more irritated that there was hired help. 

She couldn’t forget the feeling of his hand in hers. It still felt  _ right _ . His was so much bigger than hers. It covered it, embracing it in a hand hug that was warm and tender. If his body could do the same to her body, she’d feel safe, content, and happy. It was as simple as that. His hand made her hand happy. However, it felt as if he’d be holding back, and she couldn’t help but wonder why?

He pulled up to her dorm and Riza opened the door to get out. Before she could say goodbye and go up to tell Sheska she was right all along and that nothing had to be different, Roy opened his door too. She waited for him to round the car. They were going to hug, and she’d feel a looming disappointment because he wouldn’t kiss her. She watched as he ran his hand through his hair, looking awkward. She was awkward! Her emotions were awkward! The whole afternoon with her had been awkward! 

She’d had enough. As he scratched behind his hand, looking for something to say like some teenager-like on his first date, Riza reached up and grabbed the front of his shirt. His face turned to surprise but did not resist as she pulled him to her level. There, their lips met. The only word that Riza could have used to describe it was magical. The suction was perfect, their breath caught, and they separated slowly, feeling her lips slide from his in slow motion. It wasn’t long. It was maybe only two seconds but felt like five. She blinked a few times, opening her eyes to see Roy’s eyes wide in surprise, unable to move from his spot bent over. It was enough to be satisfied. 

“Thank you for holding my hand,” she whispered as she turned around. She’d leave him like that to think about it for a day or two. Surely she was going to think about it for the next few days till they went out again. As she stepped from her, a hand grabbed her elbow, stopping her and pulling her back. In a surprised face of her own, he whisked her around to face him. Before she could argue, his lips were against hers. This kiss was longer. This was the movie ending kiss that would be expected from a romantic such as Roy Mustang. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him, their bodies pressed against each other. He was solid, and Riza felt his heart against her, beating madly like hers was. There was pressure behind it this time. It wasn’t needy, but wanting, of passion that they had both missed out on in those lost years. They fit together like puzzle pieces, so perfectly that there couldn’t be any doubt that it was meant to happen all along. Her lungs burned, wanting air, wanting to breathe, only to feel him press harder against her. Their noses scrunched together, preventing the slippage that begged to be released, like the Earth’s curst’s pressure before the quick release of an earthquake. As they parted, she sucked on her bottom lip, still tasting him, their eyes connecting, and Riza breathed in the cologne that had held her attention for the day. 

“That’s what I’ve wanted to do all damn day,” Roy whispered to her. His black eyes looked passionately into hers from behind his messy bangs. “What happened to your rule?”

If she wasn’t blushing, she was now. Certainly, she was blushing before. “You happened,” she whispered back. Her eyes searched his for the young boy, no, the man that she fell in love with as a teenager. There he was, in plain day, staring back at her with a longing desire for her. 

“You’re right,” he breathed. “Nothing has changed.” 

She giggled, wanting to stay there, but her conscience won over. “We have things to do,” she excused. 

He nodded, seeing a sliver disappointment in his eyes. 

_ I need to call Maria.  _

“Are you still coming after work on Wednesday?”

He nodded, grinning as he still fought to catch his breath. She wanted to touch him, feel his chest, run her hands over him. But this wasn’t the place. And they’d only been on two dates. “I will be here. We can go to dinner.” 

“I’d like that.” Her hands regrettably pressed against him so she could escape his hold. It was the worst feeling she had felt in a long time. The only thing that kept her from dragging him up to her dorm and making out like some hormone-charged adolescent was the fact that Sheska would be giggling as she was kicked out. The little romantic book worm would be so delighted to know that Riza had let go and admitted her love for Roy publically. Forget the rules of not having guys in the dorm rooms. She wanted to kiss him as if she was making up for years that she couldn’t. She wanted to feel him, know that he was real after a surreal kiss like that. As she walked away, she looked over her shoulder to see him leaning against the car, hands in his pockets, with the most satisfactory grin on. He looked like he was on top of the world. And she knew he was checking her out. That’s what guys did. They looked at what they can’t have. It made that kiss even hotter. 

The whole elevator ride up was a ride of self-gratification. Her fingers touched her lips. She was going to dream about that one. None of her boyfriends, not even Tyler, had  _ that _ . The smile wouldn’t go away, it wasn’t possible. It was stuck. She used her key to get into her room, seeing it empty. She could have brought him up there.  _ No _ , she thought.  _ It’d gone too far _ . It was her that Riza was holding back. She had to keep herself in control.  _ When have you ever been in control,  _ she ridiculed herself, still debating calling him.  _ Exactly,  _ the other angel on her shoulder told her boldly.  _ Now is a good time for self-discipline.  _

The presentation was lost to the wind. She just stared at her computer screen, looking at the words that matched the photo of a side-by-side shotgun that had been cut short for stagecoach riding. It illustrated the term “riding shotgun.” But she couldn’t write that. All she could think about was a wonder if he was doing the same. He’d be at the bar, serving drinks, forgetting things and daydreaming of what could be more. Was he like her? Was he lost in a wonderland of clouds and dreams?

The door opened and Sheka came in with a wave. “How was your date?” 

“It was good,” Riza quickly replied, trying to hide the matter of her mind. 

“You look like you took my advice and kissed him. Was it a romance novel to be seen?”

_ Yes.  _ “No,” she snorted a guilty laugh. 

“I’m going to write a romance novel about you two.” 

“You will not.” 

Sheska laughed as she dropped her textbook on her desk. “It’s plain as day. And your red face agrees with me!”

Maybe it was. She’d seen it, felt it, knew it today. She declined it verbally because she didn’t want to miss him more. The picture that hid in her book caught her thoughts and she reached over to pull it out again. The handsome young man leaning against the fence. 

Two days later, she found herself eating a cheeseburger with Maria. Her dear friend had finished her presentation for my firearms class early. Of course, she had an easier time with the guns from 1960 to 1980. Guns didn’t change from that period of time. However, Riza didn’t want to stay at home at that moment. She pulled her hair back into a clip, combed her hair to the side, and walked down to the burger joint that she and Maria frequented. 

“Denny is such a dork,” She laughed.

“Oh, but you love him!” 

“Yes, I do. I love him more without licorice sticking out of his nose, though.” 

“He’s never going to grow up.” 

“Maybe he should join the military like Roy. That will put him into shape.” 

Riza giggled. “I don’t think Denny could do the military.” 

“I think he could pull off that blue uniform.” Maria sat back with a dreamy smile. “I wonder if I can find one somewhere. See it he’d like to wear it  _ later. _ ” 

Riza rolled her eyes. “You two are so damn cute.” 

“Not as cute as you and Roy. I saw him in his uniform the other day. Hot damn, Riza!” Maria leaned over the table. “Please tell me you have had three dates.”

“Why does everyone want me to kiss him?” Riza sat back in her chair and rolled her eyes. “It’s just a kiss!”  _ A kiss that threw you for the biggest loop of your life.  _

“You told me about Tyler, why not Roy?”

“When did you become the gossip queen?”

Maria pouted and ate a fry. “I think you should.”

“That’s what Sheska said. She called us a ‘Romance Novel.’”

“That’s accurate.” She ate another fry. 

“Will you stop!” Riza frowned. 

“You really are. You’re the most entertainment I’ve seen since Tyler.” 

“I’m so happy that my romance life is entertainment.” 

Maria laughed loudly. “I have Denny! If you consider licorice sexy, you’re more than welcome to have him.” 

Riza bit her lips, wishing she could still taste him. Wednesday was going to be interesting. It'd be interesting if they ever got to dinner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww! What a couple they are! What do you think? Is Roy the same boy she knew when they were kids? 
> 
> Let us know what you think. I scarf down comments like my dog scarfs down zucchini. And he loves zucchini.


	7. Then and Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy meets a certain person of Riza's life. They play the name game to find that they are not so different from when they were then to they are now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The biggest thanks to Rando29 and Iamreader for reading this too many times.

The warm air made the sweat on his back sticky. He shouldn’t have taken the run in the afternoon. It was a bad idea only made worse with the warm autumn sun. Tomorrow’s run would be in the morning when it actually felt like fall time. For this time of the season, the cold should have been seeping in. He’d make his lazy ass get up. It was hard enough for people to baby him and want him to stay home. The doctor said to go for runs, he was going to go for a run. It felt liberating in a way. His side ached, no doubt, but the air in his lungs and the sweat that drizzled down his temple, made him feel more alive. His legs burned as he departed from the sidewalk and crossed the street. Just another block and he could have a cold shower. The sweat from his scalp made his black hair stick to his brow, needing him to wipe them from his eyes. His stride came to a walk and his arm wiped more sweat from his forehead as he reached the bar.  _ I need to work out more often. It kicked my ass,  _ he grumbled to himself. 

He went in through the bar, waving at Shelby who was pulling glasses out of the dishwasher and drying them. “Bet you feel better,” she smirked. 

“Sore, but yes.” 

“It’s good for you to get out of the house.”

His aunt was washing the counters when he came into the kitchen. She nodded at his arrival as he waved a greeting. He pulled his earbuds out and looked around. “Where is everyone?”

Aunt Chris wiped her hands on her dress, reaching for her smokes on the table. “Catherine took Taylor and Belle to a movie before they have to go do their own obligations today.”

He nodded, still breathing deeply, catching his breath, and looked around. It was odd not having anyone there, worth appreciating the quietness.

“How do you feel, Kid?”

Roy nodded, holding his side. “Not as bad as it could be,” he responded with a heavy breath. 

“Make sure you take your meds,” she reminded. 

He nodded, trying hard to not roll his eyes. The constant pain medication and antibiotics were getting dull then the steroids to help on top of it and he felt like an old man with a pill for everything. “I’m going upstairs,” he pointed to the staircase.

“Hey,” she stopped him, taking a long draw from her cigarette. “I need you to go to the store and pick up a few things.” She pointed to a list on the dining table. 

He nodded at his aunt, being sure to acknowledge the list. “Okay. I’m going to get in the shower and I’ll be back.”  _ A nice long cold shower to rinse all this sweat off me. _

“Don’t take long.”

Roy stripped his shirt as soon as he reached the top floor. His eyes trailed down to the scar on his side, instinctively checking it. It looked good for what it was. It wasn’t swollen or red. The pain was mild and he tried to stretch it only to feel a sharp sting, so he stopped. There was no need to strain it any further. His finger pressed the scarred tissue, exploratory, as if he was poking a chubby part of his abs which didn’t exist. It was larger than he thought it should have been. His abdominal muscles were what he strived for, only to see this blob of lighter pink splatter on his left side. He turned the water cold and took his shorts off. The mirror reflected a man who shined with sweat, tone with wide shoulders. He had worked hard to keep fit considering an office job required nothing but a comfortable chair. The rowing machine helped and the swimming too. Though the scar may be scary looking even to him, and made him uncomfortable to know he didn’t look normal, it wasn’t going to hold him back from being Roy.

When he got out of the shower, feeling refreshed, his phone rang. With a towel around his waist, he smiled seeing her name on the caller ID. “Hey,” he answered, letting the grin wrap across his face. “How are you?” Roy ran his hand through his hair, shaking it side to side, letting the water shake off like a dog. 

“Good,” Riza answered. He could hear the smile in her voice. “I was wondering if you wanted to get a pizza or something.” 

He leaned against the vanity. “I’d really like that. What time?” He frowned as he remembered the list. “ Crap, I have to go get groceries,” he sighed. 

“We can go after.” 

He nodded, though he knew she couldn’t see. “I guess you can go with me if you wanted.” 

“I have to pick up a few things, I’d be happy to go.” 

“I can pick you up in thirty minutes. I just have to get dressed.” 

He heard her chuckled. “You normally spend your day naked?”

_ Wouldn’t she like to know,  _ He chuckled in his head. “I was dressed before my shower,” he snarked back. “You were thinking about me while I was naked. What does that say?”

“It says that I’m hungry.” 

“See you in thirty.” There was nothing that could make his day better than hearing her voice. 

“I will run out and see you.” 

“See you later,” he said before clicking his phone to end the call. Not only did he now get to see her, but also get his aunt’s shopping done. The only way he could describe it was as if he felt free. His fingers ran through his hair, shaking it again and letting it fall naturally, before strolling with pride out of the bathroom and to his room. He grabbed an ointment off his dresser, taking care to apply it. It was supposed to help with circulation and help minimize the scarring, but Roy didn’t think about that now. He rubbed it softly on before reaching for the pain pills next to it. Then he tossed them into a drawer and shut it out of view. He was going or be sore whether or not he wanted to be. He couldn’t be limping around, groaning, if he was going to be walking next to her. It was enough to hear Taylor call him an old man at twenty-four by the way he groaned and limped on some mornings. 

He bounced down the stairs, grabbing the list off the table. “Aunt Chris,” he called. “Be back later. I’m going to go get the groceries.” 

“Roy,” he heard her call back. “Be careful.” 

He was never going to get a break from them. Even though her tone was sharp, voice deep and coarse, he knew she meant it in the fondest manner. She was going to be worrying about him as long as the scar lasted, which was the rest of his life. “I’ll be careful,” he called back as he grabbed his keys. 

It was hard not to rush through traffic. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel, his left foot tapping against the floorboard, as he turned into the University district. His radio turned up a bit too loud with a grin plastered on his face. Even if it had been a few days, it felt like a month. His heartbeat harder and harder as he grew closer to her dorm building. He pulled to the curb, looking up the building, counting the windows to her floor. His fingers texted her “here” before he got out of the car to open the door for when she came out. It was also a moment that he could kiss her hello. There was no excuse to pass that up. Roy didn’t think his grin could get any bigger when he saw her wave to someone before leaving the building, walking towards his car. 

“Hey you,” he greeted. “Ready for some strenuous grocery shopping?”

His heart stuttered with her laugh. “You’re so funny.” 

At least he was that. He leaned forward as she casually stretched up so that their lips could touch in a practiced peck greeting. 

“Don’t tell me you’re calling this a date,” she joked as she slipped into his car. 

Roy leaned on the door, looking down at the blonde beauty below him. It was hard for him to stop gazing at her. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a clip and she wore a plain black shirt with tight pants. It made his blood run hot and his chest surge with an overwhelming desire to forget the store all together so they could spend the evening together instead. He’d rather be cuddling with her under a blanket anyway. “What? We are doing something together, I am going to take you out to eat, and hopefully a kiss good night.” 

“I’m getting ice cream,” she giggled. “No dinner or it will melt.” 

“Then we will just have to have dessert.” 

He watched Riza open her mouth with a full-bodied laugh. “Let’s go.” 

Roy shut the door, running his hand through his messy black hair before getting in on his side of the car. “How was your day,” he asked casually, turning down the radio. 

“Classes were good. Firearms class is getting complicated.” She rolled her neck and looked out the window. “We are going over the technical parts of the different kinds of weapons.” 

“Nothing you can’t handle,” he encouraged. “I’m not even sure how that class is okay in college.” 

“It’s part of the competitive shooting team at the University.” She smiled. “They have been recruiting.” 

Roy raised an eyebrow. That was something she was very good at. Riza had steady hands, a firm grip, and a deadly eye for the paper targets of their childhood. It was no wonder that she was still good at it. “Are you going to?”

Riza shrugged, letting the question roll off them. “I don’t know. I’m going into the teaching program and I’m not sure I will be able to budget my time between that, homework, and you.” 

“Me?”  _ She’s setting time aside for me?  _ It was a boost to his ego. 

“Yeah! You take up a lot of my time!” She grinned, nudging him in the side. 

Roy tried his best not to flinch. _We haven’t even spent that much time together._ In fact, he’d felt a bit distant from her. He couldn’t help it when his hand reached out to hers and he grabbed it in a soft hold. “Well, I was hoping we’d spend more time together than we already do,” He admitted. Roy should have looked over to see her response but he kept his eyes forward to the road. He wanted to see her blush, to see her look out the window while her nervousness squeezed through his hand. His hand tightened on the wheel for the moment to pass, which seemed too long. Sweat on the back of his neck started to drip down. If only she knew what she did to him. If only she knew how his heart went into overdrive and didn’t stop till after he dropped her off at home. 

“I think I can budget that,” she snickered. He hoped so. He wanted to budget more time for her. He wanted to get off work early or spend all Saturday kissing. He wanted to make sandwiches in his kitchen with her. Roy wanted to smell her shampoo and feel her body. Yet he had to reserve himself. He wanted to wait for her. Out of all his girlfriends, she was one that he wanted to maintain, and he wanted to wait for  _ her _ . 

It didn’t matter if the car ride was quiet, it was still the best fifteen-minute ride of his week. She talked a bit about her other classes and the reading she had for her teaching class. Roy couldn’t help but smile. Her voice was soft, confident, and he could detect a hint of determination. She wasn’t going to let some challenging concepts deter her. He wouldn’t expect anything less than that from the girl who was dedicated in all aspects of her life. Once she was determined to do something, very little stopped her. She was determined to ride one of the neighbor’s horses. Those bruises were, thankfully, never found by her father. She was determined to climb the tallest tree. If it wasn’t for him, she’d still be stuck at the top. She was determined to learn to shoot better than the Johnson boys, and so she set to it. Nothing seemed to stop her. And these classes wouldn’t either. 

The steps from the parking lot to the store were light. He grabbed a cart and looked towards Riza who was going over her own list. His whole life, all of his childhood, boiled down to a moment like this one, where domestic bliss was shopping with the love of your life.  _ Don’t jump too far ahead, Roy-Boy, _ he reminded himself harshly. The little being on his shoulder grumbled. He wanted it to be though. He wanted to ask her every day to spend the rest of her life with him. Oh, how he wanted it to be five years from now when they’d hold hands as they walked through the store and get simple things like milk and bread. 

“We should tag team this,” Riza offered as she leaned over to look at his list. “We both need cereal.” 

Roy snorted a laugh and pointed to her list. “You have too many things on here for not having a kitchen. 

“I don’t need a kitchen for apples and carrots.” 

He pointed to lower on the list. “Chicken and rice?”

She pulled the list from him. “Canned chicken and microwave rice.” 

“How am I supposed to take you out for pizza if you have so many groceries?” Roy led her into the store and towards the produce. 

Shoving the list into her pocket, Riza replied, “if you took me out more I wouldn’t have to.” 

Roy snorted a reply, avoiding eye contact. He cleared his throat and looked down at his list. “Well, we both need apples.” Turning the cart he headed towards the apple stand. “What kind of, uh, apples do you like?”

Roy was so in love with her and it drove him crazy to see her so playful with him. He got bacon only to see her pull the cart back from him. He shot it like a basketball into the cart with a laugh. It was obvious they were best friends, but to Roy, it as so much more. She was his world. She always had been. It brought him back to those younger days when they were like this as children. Back when she’d sit with her back against his shoulder as she studied. He remembered his arm around her waist, lazily sitting in her lap as he leaned against the wall studying out of his own book. As they walked down the aisle, it was easy to pull her close with his arm around her waist, the two of them holding the cart. He’d place his hand over hers, steering the cart one way, her hip would bump his as she steered it the other way. 

“Turn here,” she said in a hurry as she grabbed the handle of the shopping cart and pushed it into an aisle. Her hand slipped and brushed against his pinky. Even if it was light, it didn’t make his blood pump any less. He swallowed hard and glanced at her from the side of his eye. She didn’t even flinch as she walked ahead of him, looking up at microwave rice packages. She reached up to grab one on a high shelf and Roy felt his mouth salivate enough he had to swallow. The elegant curve from her hips to her shoulder was worth a bit of drool. His eyes dropped following her legs. There was a bit of lust in his gaze. With his skin hot and his pants growing tight, Roy coughed and asked, “Do you need milk or cheese?”

“Yeah,” Riza replied casually. “Can you get me a pack of string cheese?”

He nodded, letting go of the cart and walking away to gather himself. There had been feelings of that kind before, but it didn’t make it any easier on him. He wasn’t going to chase her away with his lustful actions. He had to be the gentleman she remembered, not the grown man that wanted to kiss her against the wall and make her… “Let’s see,” He scanned the cheese and wondered what kind she’d want. Maybe he’d only gotten worse because they had been cuddling and close to one another. The other day, they’d taken a nap together. He hid his embarrassment from her then as well. “Milk, don’t forget milk,” he muttered, reaching for a gallon. She’d seen and felt his hard-on before, however, it was still embarrassing to a point. 

Roy turned, chewing on his bottom lip. He had to get these thoughts under control today. It’d been worse today than any other day and it was driving him nuts. He turned a corner, looking down the aisle to see her talking with another man. She’d been in Central long enough, and the store was close to campus, it was a no brainer that she’d know someone. The man was slightly taller than Roy, but had dirty blonde hair, long and messy as if he had put gel in it and ran his fingers through it. It added some volume but made him look like some 1990’s boy band member. His pants were slightly baggy, and Roy respected the fact they were at his hips. He was wearing a band t-shirt of a band Roy had never heard of, while his left hand he wore a nice large watch. Roy would have easily guessed he was a jock of some kind with his wide stance and shoulders. He leaned onto the handle of his own cart, while Riza stood upright. He was also smiling more than Riza. 

“Hey,” he interrupted them. “Is this guy giving you a hassle,” he joked to Riza. 

She shook her head, greeting him with a light peck on the lips “Roy, this is Tyler. He’s my ex. Tyler, this is Roy, my boyfriend.”  _ Ah, that kind of kiss,  _ he laughed to himself 

“The Roy?”

_ Why does everyone say that?  _ He felt her arm reach behind him, tightening gently on his hip.  _ Either he’s making her nervous or she’s claiming me,  _ he evaluated.  _ Either one, I’m enjoying this a bit more than I should.  _ Roy extended his hand to shake Tyler’s. “Nice to meet you.” 

“Heard quite a bit about you. Where did she find you.” 

“He found me,” she quickly corrected. 

“We were at a bar and I saw her,” Roy grinned, puffing out his chest in his victory. 

“Cute,” Tyler elongated. “I’m glad you two finally reconnected.” 

“It’s been a while,” he admitted. “How long did you two date for?”

“For about four months I think,” Tyler answered, smiling gently at Riza. “A good four months.” 

_ Good as in you had a good time or a solid four months’ span of time? _

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Riza interjected. “But,” she wrapped her arm through and around his. “We have to get going. Roy promised me a movie tonight.” He had not, but apparently, she needed an excuse to leave. 

“No,” Tyler said quickly, shaking his hand in front of his face. “I don’t want to keep you. It was very good to see you, Riza. And Roy,” he turned to offer his hand again. “Good to meet you too. I hope that we run into each other again.” He shook her ex’s hand firmly and followed Riza as she led him away. 

“What a nice guy,” he grinned. 

“He was,” she said quietly. “He was really nice.” 

“What’s wrong with him, then?” She was still holding onto his arm. “Why so scared?”

She chuckled. “Not scared. He didn’t hurt me. I just feel bad.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Do you regret breaking up with him?”

She laughed nervously as she reached for some lightly buttered popcorn. “He was fun, but not you.”

He stopped her, pulling back on her hand. His other hand reached to stop the cart as he pulled her to face him. The pink hue was beautiful on her, a hue he had rarely seen on her even as a child and teen. She was rarely embarrassed, more emotionally secure than most girls, and more than he. Roy couldn’t help himself as he leaned forward and kissed her. It was longer than a peck, he made sure of it. There was more to it as his hands grasped her hips in a possessive manner and he pulled her to him. Her hands in return traveled quickly to his face. If he would have been obviously aroused at that moment, he would have wanted her to feel it. He wanted the whole world to know, in those three seconds, that she was his. Her peck to get back at Tyler was nothing. He should have licked his lips before they touched hers as they stuck together, just like his breath in his chest suck in his throat. She pulled away from him, her hands falling from his cheeks. Her blush continued and a sparkle in her light brown eyes told him she enjoyed it better. 

“Maybe we should make pizza at home and we can watch that movie I apparently promised you,” he offered gently. 

“I’d like that.” 

_ Home.  _ Where they’d sit in his bedroom and kiss. Kiss as they tasted each other at  _ home.  _ The times that he almost lost himself, and the times that she almost let him cross those lines. At  _ home.  _ The times that he knew it was wrong, so wrong, but it feels so right. His chest ached for it to be five years ago when they were young and stupid. The feeling of her fingers on his arm was no different than the fingers of her then as they ran electricity through his body. The difference was she wasn’t still a child. She was an adult and it was not only legal but it wasn’t frowned upon in the least. It was hard when he was eighteen and she was fifteen. 

Riza’s cough broke him from his growing daydream “Will you go grab me some frozen waffles?” 

His eyes blinked, coming back to the real world. “Yeah.”

“The chocolate chip ones. Sheska likes those.” Her fingers fell from his arm and walked from him as if nothing had happened. 

_ Smooth,  _ he grinned.  _ Cool and smooth just like the Riza I know.  _

He watched her as she didn’t even look back as she turned down the cereal aisle. Roy turned the other way, licking his lips as he walked two aisles down and turning into the frozen foods section. Maybe he’d get some too. It'd been a while since he was juvenile enough for frozen waffles. He had them before he joined the military, but not since then. 

“Running into each other again.” 

Roy looked casually to his side to see Tyler standing by him. “Hey.” He nodded a greeting to him. 

“Did you two date before you left for the military?” His voice wasn’t as deep as Roy’s, but a bit higher. He even sounded like a preppy college boy. 

“Yeah,” Roy nodded. “Something like that.” 

“She talked a lot about you.” He turned to see Tyler’s head tilted to the side with a chuckle. He wanted to make small talk. 

Roy reached up for two boxes of the chocolate chip waffles. “You jealous?” Roy was fine with small talk. He was curious about what Tyler had to say. 

“Kind of,” he admitted with a laugh. “I guess I’m just happy to see that you’re a real person who’s not a superhero.” 

“Heh,” Roy chuckled. “Not a superhero. Just a normal guy here.” He put his hand in his pocket, standing to the side as Tyler reached for something in the freezer next to the waffles. “At least I know that she wasn’t sleeping with ass holes. You seem like a good guy.”

“She wasn’t sleeping around,” Tyler laughed a bit too loudly. “She’s locked up pretty tight. Whatever you did to her, she wasn’t sleeping with anyone.” It was clearly an accusatory comment, almost a soreness to it. Was that the defining mark to the end of their relationship?

He blinked as he rubbed the back of his neck which was growing tense. 

“I thought we’d work out,” Tyler nodded his head slowly. “I really did. But, it wouldn’t have worked out. And I have figured that out.”

“Oh?” Now his curiosity was tripped. “Why do you say that?”

“Cause I’m not you.” 

Roy didn’t have anything to say in return as Tyler dropped the frozen pancake sausage rolls in his cart. That was the second time it’d been said to him. What did being Roy have to do with anything? Apparently everything. Maybe he was the superhero that she had always made him out to be. He didn’t think he was. He was just a guy, like Tyler, who loved a girl with all his heart. 

“You’re one lucky guy to have such a woman.” Tyler smiled at him, an empty smile. “You better enjoy her while you can.” The jock-like  _ boy _ nodded seriously as he turned the cart around and started to leave. 

At that point, Roy was more inclined to hit him, however, Tyler’s words were a bit more introspective than he would have imagined.  _ “Cause I’m not you.”  _ The meaning of those four words was more than self-explanatory. Then why was he stuck on deciphering it? Clearly, Tyler had once had intimate feelings for Riza and probably still did. And it sounded as if he blamed Roy on a level for the relationship’s falling out. 

He walked slowly, frowning in concentration as he looked over to see Riza picking out some energy bars. Her smile seemed to brush the exterior of his thoughts away and Roy was able to smile back.  _ Maybe their relationship was rocky? Maybe it was something that neither of them could commit to?  _ Roy put the waffles in the cart, watching Riza lean on the handles as she examined her list.  _ Maybe she was just too much for him…  _

“I think that is about it,” she nodded. “You?”

“Just two loaves of bread. We can grab that on the way out,” he grinned. “We can drop this stuff off and then head off to a movie and pizza.” His hand wrapped around her waist, pulling the side of her hip to his. The feeling of euphoria was quick to return. “What kind of pizza do you want?” 

She laughed lightly. “I think my boyfriend doesn’t know me well enough.”

Roy looked down as he grasped her hand. “I just wanted to make sure your tastes hadn’t changed.” Her taste in him hadn’t changed. He loved kissing her because it felt so familiar. It meant that she loved him, sucking on his bottom lip like she used to when they were younger. How the mischievous look would glow and her hands would grasp at the front of his shirt. Maybe she will never know what she did to him, and what it meant to him to follow the laws and the rules. He wanted her to understand what she was getting herself into. And now, they were able to do it, and he still had to be reserved and wait till she grabbed at his shirt the same way. Not just grabbing it in a kiss, but grabbing it in demand. 

Her hand sealed against his and he saw Riza’s eyes light up in a bright flash of gratitude. Wordless, she tugged him to follow her to the bread aisle. And without doubt, he followed her. Roy wasn’t even sure if Tyler ever felt the same way as he did. Certainly, Riza would have this effect on all the men in her life. She would have this effect on him for the rest of his life, that was for sure. She was too beautiful to not attract other men. But she didn’t want others, she wanted him. She was holding  _ his hand.  _

However, something continued to not sit right with him. It was possible that Tyler was just saying things to make him think and rethink about Riza. It was a low blow, but it was possible. He could also be saying it because there was actually something wrong with Riza. And there could never be anything  _ wrong _ with Riza. He stood behind her in the line, looking at the curves of her hips and wondered what Tyler saw in her. He began to think of every part of the conversation. Riza felt comfortable enough to sit and talk with him. He wasn’t that big of an asshole. But Tyler did feel inclined to ensure Roy about what Roy did to Riza.  _ What is he talking about?  _ Was it leaving her? Was it not coming back to help her with her father’s death? Or was it… there were too many times Roy could think that he fucked up. What did he do to make Riza so closed?.

“Let me just drop these off at the dorm room.” 

Roy looked up from his thoughts to see Riza talking towards the registrar. 

What Tyler said didn’t change the fact that very dirty thoughts were spinning in his head. They hadn’t gone out long enough for any of this to happen. Maybe that was the problem that Tyler had. It could have been possible that Riza just didn’t put out like other women. She didn’t kiss any fool that tried to woo her. She was more independent than that. Roy understood this. It started with never needing her father at a young age. Maybe that was what any of her previous boyfriends had a problem with. 

Roy sat in the car as he watched her run into the school building. His fingers tapping lightly on the steering wheel as he thought about the two of them in his room. Maybe he was being juvenile, however, he could not stop the hormonal rush that he was receiving. His body felt alive, jittery, and excited. It felt as if he was going to jump out of his skin with just the prospect of her body against his. Memories of their bodies cuddled on the couch in her living room as they watched TV flashed in his mind. He wanted to hold her like that, with her back flushed with his chest and his hands brushing her sides to her hips, feeling the luscious curve of hers. The action was innocent enough, knowing that her father would have lost all sense of reason if he saw them. However, the man was hardly ever home at that time in her life. They got away with that kind of behavior like this quite often. It was far from innocent when she was facing him and their lips could not stop touching. Roy would settle for either of it, and all of it. 

The door opened on the passenger side to reveal a happy-go-lucky blonde who smiled back at him. “You look contemplative.” 

“Just thinking about us,” he admitted with a guilty smile. 

“Oh,” she said slowly raising her eyebrows. 

“It’s hard to forget,” he added as he started the car. 

Riza looked away from him, quickly setting her stare out the window. She cleared her throat softly and hummed an approval. 

Not only was her response amusing, but it made his heart pick up the pace. His hand reached out to gently grab hers. It touched her fingers, gently wedging under them to feel under it. He looked from the road to see her looking at him with a gentle smile. “Do you think about it as much as I do,” she asked softly. “Or are you thinking more than what we ever were?” 

But she didn’t remove her hand and his tightened around hers. He chuckled. “I love you. I always have, and always will.” Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. Maybe ‘love’ was a strong word to use, but it was exactly how he felt. 

A small giggle came from her side of the car, but when he looked she was looking out the window. 

“It’s early, I know. But it’s what was then, and what I’m thinking now.” He returned his eyes to the road. 

She still didn’t advert her sight back to him. “I love you too,” she whispered. “It is still early on, but I do.” 

Roy let the silence settle as he continued to grin. She did love him. They were on the same track. A click in his brain dropped his smile as he wondered if she ever told Tyler or any of her boyfriends? Did she  _ love  _ all of them? Was she easy to love and be loved, but not a long term commitment type? What did Tyler say?  _ “She’s locked up pretty tight. Whatever you did to her.”  _ And that part of the relationship would come on her terms, he understood, but where did ‘love’ fit in?

“I just never thought we’d be back to this point.” He admitted as he turned the car down another road. 

She tilted her head. “Get back to this point?”

“Yeah,” he admitted with a smirk. “It feels like we never left off.”

Riza nodded slowly, still looking out her window. He had to wonder if she was hiding her face or uninterested in the conversation. “It’s nice,” she replied. “I like it.” 

“I like our kisses,” he added. “And our cuddles. It’s good to know you are still ticklish.” 

“I am not!” Riza turned, hitting his thigh with their joined hands while Roy just laughed at her reaction. “You’re going to get your nose broken one of these days.” 

“It will be worth it,” he added. “Say what you want, I just like being with you, that’s all.” 

He opened the back door to hear his aunt, Shelby, and Catherine outside in the bar. He looked around, setting the groceries on the counter. “Oh,” he remembered, pulling out the milk and sticking it in the fridge. “Belle and Taylor have activities today.” 

“Activities?”

“Belle is at volleyball this weekend and Taylor goes to a tutor.” He pulled out some more groceries and put them in the fridge. 

“A weekend tutor?”

Roy popped his head up from the fridge. “Aunt Chris intends her to be a Senator.” 

“I thought you guys only fostered children. Why don’t you just adopt her?”

Roy shut the fridge and sighed. “Both Taylor and Belle are still under their parents. Belle has actually gone back once before. Her father has a huge drug problem. I mean, to the point that he has no money to support her.” 

“What about her mom?” Riza frowned, not liking the idea that these two girls’ lives were like hers in some sense. 

“Oh, she just up and left. There’s no record or known location for her.” 

“What about Taylor?”

Roy grumped, sliding the nonrefrigerated items back to the wall on the counter. “Her parents forget she’s there. One day she came home with a bad grade, probably a D, and her father beat her so badly. She had broken bones and ...” Roy looked at the counter where his hands were fisted. “I have no respect for a man like that. The way we got her was no way a child should ever be. He doesn’t deserve the light of Taylor’s day.”

Riza covered her mouth. It was a touchy subject for Riza, and Roy knew. Chris had known, but there was little she could do anything about it. When investigations were done, Berthold was at the house, she was fed, and had a clean house. There was nothing wrong. 

“She’s so much less jumpy,” he chuckled lowly. “I mean, she was twitchy before. Now she’s just snarky.” 

“Is she going to go back?”

Roy grabbed some pizza from the bag and put it into the oven. “Maybe. She’s been seeing them every Sunday.”

“Does she want to?”

He shook his head with a quick shrug. “I don’t think so. She’s most witted when she comes back. Her parents have to meet certain guidelines before she can come back.” 

He watched as Riza bit her thumb and frowned her brow. 

“It’s okay,” he smiled. “My aunt is doing everything she can to keep her safe. Both of us don’t like her parents.” 

“It’s ironic,” Riza began to laugh. “That living in the back end of a bar is better than a home.” 

“This is a better home than most places. To some of the girls that come through here, this is more of a home than they’ve ever had.” He set the timer for the pizza, leaning against the counter to look at her. 

Riza nodded slowly. Chris’s house in the countryside was more of a home than she ever had. He knew this. Roy remembered her coming home with her cheeks red from being slapped and how Chris would put an icepack on her face. Even when the authorities came, there wasn’t a mark on her. The time there was, she didn’t come running to Aunt Chris. She hid away in her room for him to find her later. He had no doubt that his aunt started fostering because of their uselessness in Riza’s case. 

“Your aunt is an angel,” she breathed. “I felt safest with you two.” 

“Aunt Chris loves you,” he chuckled. “She’s always had a soft spot for you.” 

“Well, she has good taste in child crises.” Riza tugged on the neck of her shirt like she was hot. 

“Come on,” he waved. “We can go up to my room and hideaway before Shelby or Catherine find us.” 

It was funny how every time he invited her up to his room, he felt juvenile. It probably didn’t help that it was his aunt’s house. But it was his place, and somewhere he could have privacy, yet be watched and pestered about his side. 

Riza yawned as they entered the room. “I have a full freaking day tomorrow,” she complained. “I’m not looking forward to it, at all.” 

“Hey, I have my own classes to go to,” he grumped with a huff. “I need to recertify in a few things. It’s so boring.” 

“You have to take classes too?” 

Roy nodded as he looked through his channels as he searched for something to watch. “I’ve been through the class twice. But they want me certified to teach it.” 

Roy bounced on his bed, passing the remote to her. His arms reached out, pulling her towards him. It was always good to hear her laugh, but this was play. The laugh was lighter, happier, and more child-like. With a tight hold, he leaned back, a weak attempt to pull her onto the bed with him. Tragedy struck when a sharp snap of pain started at the bullet wound and radiated through his body. He flinched, trying to recover as he sat up straight again. 

“Let me go,” she laughed and wiggled away. He let her, only grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him. His legs were wide, Riza slipping between them. Her hands rested on his shoulder as he looked up into her light brown eyes. They were always lighter when she was in love. “You’re feeling playful.” She raised her eyebrow. 

“Is there something wrong with that?” His hands rested on her sides. 

“Everything,” she whispered, leaning down to let her lips rest on his. 

The buzzer on the stove alerted the two to the pizza done. “Find something to watch. Or we could just make out,” he joked lightly as he stood up. “I’ll be right back.” 

“We could,” Riza agreed with a laugh. 

_ “We could,” she says. _ He wanted to. He wanted to just kiss her, feel her, until the sun came up in the morning. And it wasn’t even night. It was merely dinner time. He carefully cut the pizza, thinking about how it’d just be nice to lay next to her, fall asleep with her in his arms.  _ As long as she didn’t lay on my side, I think I’d be okay.  _ It was a fair thought. He grabbed a couple paper plates, tucking them under his arm as he turned to head back upstairs. He wanted to roll with her, grab her and tickle her, hover over her and rub noses affectionately; but his side would cripple him if it started to hurt. Nothing ruined the mood more than him falling over and crying out in pain. It wasn’t a side he wanted her to see. After all, he was apparently her superhero. 

“I have pizza,” he declared as he entered his room, shutting the door with his foot. Riza was sitting on his bed, cross-legged, already watching something. “What are you watching?” 

“Journals of Ben Harper.”

Roy took a bite of his pizza, handing Riza a slice. “I didn’t think you were a horror type of girl.” 

“Mystery,” she corrected. 

He tossed his head towards the living room. “You don’t have a TV. How do you know about it?”

“I watch it on my computer,” she replied smartly. “But, I remember seeing a commercial about it the other day. It’s on CTC. You might like it.” 

He sat down, taking another bite of his pizza. It was an interesting show. He’d never been attracted to horror or even mystery shows. But it was a popular series where Ben Harper is a private detective who solves crimes and tries not to get urdered himself. The scenes and moments could be intense, but overall it was a rather generic show. Riza sat cross-legged, leaning over as she ate her pizza, following the main character on the screen. Roy had no interest in the screen or the story. He just watched her. 

She looked over at him at one point and took a bit of her pizza. “Are you just looking at me?”

He nodded. 

“You’re creeping me out.” 

“You’re creeping me out,” he challenged. “You’re just sitting here, looking beautiful, in my bedroom.” 

“I’ve been here before,” she laughed, taking another bite. 

“And every time I am just amazed that you are here.” 

She grinned, tossing her paper plate next to the empty tray. “You know what I love about Ben?”

“That’s he’s an arrogant bastard with a smart mouth?”

Riza reached over and slapped his knee. “No...Well kind of… But that he gets the murderer to think that he knows already when he doesn’t. He gets the murderer to admit it himself.” 

Roy shrugged. “I could do that.” 

“You could?” She threw a dubious look towards him. 

“Sure. It’s easy.” 

“Cocky as ever,” she chuckled. “Some things never change.” 

“I’d like to think I’m the same guy as before,” he replied 

“Surely,” Riza argued as she changed the channel. “Some things should have changed.”

Roy ate the last bit of his slice before tossing it into the wastebasket on his side. He thought about it. “I would like to think that I’m very much the boy you fell in love with when we were young.” 

Riza found her channel. A cartoon of some sort. Roy wasn’t paying attention. “To be honest, I fell in ‘love’ with you when you became an  _ adult _ . You weren’t legally a kid anymore.” 

“I’d like to think I’m the same man, nonetheless.” 

“Do you still like lighting things on fire?” She smiled out of the corner of her eye, her deviant eyes reminding him of days that he’d be causing more trouble than he was worth. 

“That hasn’t changed,” he snickered, smiling back at her. “The military just lets me do it on a bigger scale.”

“Flame throwers?”

“Airstrikes,” he answered cooly. “What about you? How much have you changed?” 

He watched as she leaned back. “Why don’t you ask me?” She smirk, a playful glint in her brown eyes.

There was so much to ask. He wasn’t sure where to start. She was the body of his best friend, and yet threatened to have grown into a different entity entirely. “What’s your favorite composer?” 

“Ah,” Riza began to giggle. “I will always have a soft spot for Vivaldi. But you know that sounds change in a musician's ears as a chef’s taste.” 

He couldn’t stop smiling. “What about your favorite food then?” 

“No, no,” she lifted a finger to stop him. “Now it’s my turn.” She was so beautiful. She was still young, charismatic in a sense in how she presented herself. His heart was lured to hers and if she asked about love in any sense, he’d tell her it was her all along and his taste in love didn’t change. The TV show on the screen was forgotten, disregarded as he turned to see her thinking, staring at him mischievously at the new game that had emerged. “What is your favorite color?”

“What a generic question,” Roy mused. “It’s always been red. See? I didn’t change. What about yours?”

“You can’t copy my questions, that’s a cop-out.” 

He snorted. “What about your favorite animal?”

“Dog,” she quickly answered. “Sunrise or sunset?” 

“That’s a fifty-fifty to see if I changed. I think you already know that answer. Sunset.” 

“You’re such a romantic,” she joked. “Let me guess, and your favorite date would be on a beach drinking a pina colada too?”

_ If that’s what yours was,  _ he thought “That’s two questions,” he answered. “What’s your pet peeve?”

“Oh,” she thought with a tap on her chin. “Although I still hate people eating with their mouth full, I really hate it when people hide and lie things from me.” 

“Oh?” He gulped softly. 

She nodded, squinting her eyes towards the TV. “I think people are afraid of how I will take it. I’m not this soft emotional piece of putty that guys think I am.” 

_ That is not what I think you are.  _ “Is that what Tyler did to you?”

“Lie to me? No. We both fucked that one up. Anyway,” she turned back to look at him. “What about what you want to be when you grow up?”

“That’s not fair,” he yelled back. 

“I think it’s a fair question!” She argued. 

“I’m already grown up,” he defended. “You know I didn’t grow up to be what a child dreams of being.” 

“You can still be a firefighter.” 

“I went to college for structural engineering,” he continued to argue. 

“And you joined the military,” she continued on her own argument. “You seem to change your mind often.” 

Roy snickered, scratching his cheek. “Well… I never would have thought to see you go into teaching music.” 

“I never played the piano,” she sighed. “It’s hard to teach it when I don’t play. I’m teaching the keys and music as a history.” She put the half-empty bowl on the coffee table. “I’m sure you thought I’d become a botanist.” 

“Eh,” he chuckled. “More like a gardener for some rich politician who can’t keep roses alive.” 

He watched, mostly in amazement of himself, when she scooted over and leaned her head against his shoulder. He wiggled his arm around her, resisting every urge to smell her hair, kiss the top of her head, or anything else weird. But, oh, how he wanted to. 

“What’s your biggest secret?” 

“That’s a personal question,” he snickered again. Her finger jabbed into his rib and they both laughed. “Fine,” he quickly relented before another jab. “That I fell in love with a child.” 

“What,” she gasped, pulling from his shoulder. “You pervert,” she joked. 

“Yeah. An eighteen-year-old boy should have no relations with a fifteen-year-old girl.” 

“I’m sure she loved you too,” he heard her whisper as her head returning to his shoulder. “You seem like a loveable guy.” 

“Then, did I change as much as you thought I did?” His arm squeezed her against him. 

“In more ways than one.” 

He sighed heavily, reaching next to him to grab the white comforter next to him. “Come here,” he offered, pulling at her. This was his chance to make a move. He watched her yawn again. She’d been so busy lately, they both could use a short nap. “Come here,” he said again, lying down on his twin bed. Riza didn’t phase to resist. She crawled right up to him, snuggling her face into his chest. They fit like ying and yang, perfectly balanced. He reached over, turning the TV’s volume down and wrapped his arms around her. Her hot exhales blew through his shirt and he wondered what he smelled like.  _ Did that change?  _ He hoped not. Many times they had pulled this off when they were younger, she always said she liked the way he smelled. 

His lips pecked the top of her head and he looked up at the cartoon she had changed it to. His body wracked with desires. But he urged his inner demons to calm and to just play it cool. His sensitive spot was facing up, and she was curled against him. 

“Are you sure this is okay,” she asked with another yawn.

He nodded and hummed an approval. “You’re fine.” He squeezed her a little hug. “In fact, it’s perfect,” he whispered. 

“These I do remember,” she breathed. “They haven’t changed in the least bit.” 

Roy grinned, kissing the top of her head again. One thing he hoped that hadn’t changed.  _ I do hope that I am your superhero,  _ he thought, still thinking about Tyler’s comment.  _ And I hope that never changes.  _ Everything was perfect. She was perfect. They were perfect. It wouldn’t last forever, and when she woke, he’d take her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Royai fluff. What did you expect! We all need it at some point. Tyler sure changed a bit. Seems he's not the biggest fan of Roy. Kinda.... snarky. But I do this that Roy is her superhero. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I love comments like daisies love the sun.   
> Thank you for being a reader! See you next time!


	8. Field Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza volunteers to help with one of Roy's training sessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rando! You're my bud! Thanks for the beta! Iamreader, thanks for the help.

“Nice to meet you, Sheska.” Roy held out his hand as he smiled gently at her. 

“You’re the bringer of the microwave,” she laughed, shaking his hand. 

He nodded, chuckling happily as she remembered him from before. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” 

Riza walked behind him as she handed him a book. “Sheska had probably read every book in this store,” she announced. “Can you tell she’s going into literature?” The large bookstore smells richly of paper, displaying the latest releases and the classics that never get old. There were large leather chairs that surrounded a gas-lit fireplace, looking like it was meant to be enjoyed by the dedicated reader. It was the perfect spot to get lost in a book. The atmosphere was quiet, with some music, which he could only guess were instrumental movie themes. The walls were wood paneling, darkening the walls from the bright ceiling, illuminated by hanging white lights. It wasn’t a place that he’d normally find himself in, but for Riza and Sheska, he’d be happy to join them. 

“Not bad,” he nodded. “I have nothing on that.” He looked at the book in his hand, opening it to see the wording inside. “We read quite a bit when I was deployed. There’s not much to do, but every so often, someone would get a book and we’d all read it as it got passed around.” 

Riza couldn’t help the tilt of her head as she thought about how much he didn’t tell her about the war, and what he had told her. It wasn’t the details she thought he’d share, but little bits of things that made him happy. Books were one of them, poker was another. More specific details he had left out, which she determined were either boring in a story or classified. Whichever, she was uninterested in them. What she was interested in was what he could tell her. The idea that he’d be sitting around reading a book that some guy’s girlfriend sent amused her.

“What did you read,” Sheska quickly inquired as she leaned forward towards him. Her voice often was squeaky when she got excited, her pitch growing higher and her eyes wide with need. 

He shrugged. He dropped himself into a large chair across from the two girls. “Anything, really. One guy got a lot of poetry from his girlfriend. Another guy had mystery books from his brother. Oh!” He raised his finger as he remembered. “One of the lieutenants named Marco would get cookbooks.” His face sobered as he leaned back into the plush seat. “We hated that. There’s nothing like eating MREs and reading about pastries.” 

“Last week, I read a cookbook on microwave foods.” Sheska grinned brightly as she sat down across from Roy. 

Riza burst into laughter. “Apparently she doesn’t like my lean cuisine.” She sat next to Sheska, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. She watched as Roy looked through the book, nodding approvingly. “I know you don’t study music like I do, but it’s a very interesting book on  Akira Senju ,” she explained. 

He continued to nod. “It sounds interesting. It’s quite a thing to be able to hear certain pitches or single out instruments as he did.” 

“We need more room in our dorm,” Sheska mumbled. 

“No. You need to cut back on the books.” 

“I wouldn’t have to collect them if the library had a good selection.” 

“Sheska,” Riza stared blankly at her roommate. “The library burnt down.” 

“My point exactly!” 

Roy leaned to the side. “Here, you read something, then give it to me, and I’ll read it. Then you’re not keeping the books, someone else is appreciating them, and you can get more.” 

“Stop enabling her addiction.” 

Sheska quickly agreed. “Even sappy cliche medieval times romances?”

“I promise that I’ve read worse.” 

Riza lost track of him as she led Sheska to the coffee shop adjacent to the bookstore. She wasn’t going to follow him around. Instead, she bought a book about religious philosophy that her professor recommended for the class. Her mousy friend had four new books, one about conspiracies, another a sappy romance she admitted to loving, a book about a young man who crashed his plane and had to survive which Riza had read the summary on the back; and lastly a girl who was a witch. It was a wide spectrum to be reading, but she knew her roommate would get through two of them by the end of next week. It was impressive to even the professors that the small lady with wide glasses could read their whole assigned book in a matter of weeks. Then she’d pass the tests like they were nothing. 

“Do you think he really will read the books I give him?”

Riza looked at her friend as she sipped her latte. “I’m sure he will. He didn’t read too much when we were kids. He was a pyro as he got older and he read quite a bit on firefighting.” 

“And he joined the military?”

Riza motioned a small explosion over her mug. “Explosives.” 

Sheska’s brown eyes scanned over the pages of the conspiracy book, not touching her own mug. That was the end of any conversation between them. Riza would dance, sing, and maybe rob the coffee shop and Sheska wouldn’t even notice. There was a joke with Maria that Sheska read in her sleep too. She’d have to get Roy to put her over his shoulder to get her out of the store, and she’d still be reading. Somehow it was something that Riza did envy. She didn’t get long spans of quiet moments. She got even less with Roy around. 

Thinking of Roy, she decided to leave Sheska and look around to meet back up with him. It seemed like he left the store entirely before she found him at the front looking at journals. She stopped, watching as he picked one up, flipping through the pages. He didn’t look interested, even excited. His black eyes just scanned each option before picking one up and flipping the pages. He was clearly looking for one.  _ I didn’t think he journaled,  _ she thought. He finally picked up a smaller one, leather-bound, and turned to see her. 

“Hey. Did you get a coffee?”

She nodded. “Did you want something?” She tossed her thumbed behind her.

“A black coffee is fine,” he grinned. “Thanks.” He looked around before holding out his hand. “Do you want me to get your books? I’m going to check out.” He looked at his watch. “I don’t mean to be a party-pooper, but I’ve got to get to headquarters.” 

“You are a party-pooper,” Riza joked back. She nodded to the notebook in his hand. “I didn’t know you journaled.” 

“Eh,” he shrugged casually. “Work has these flimsy notebooks for us. I like to use a nice journal when I’m out in the field.” 

She couldn’t help but frown. “You’re going out into the field?”

“Yeah. Do you want to go?”

“Go? Like with you to the field? What is this field?”

Roy grinned as if he had found a golden ticket. “It’s the training ground.”

“What exactly am I getting myself into here?”

“This one’s easy. It’s just medical practices and evacs. It’d be easy to get you in if you’d like to be a patient. We can dress you all up in military gear, then we put some blood on ya, and the guys have to secure you and get you to safety.” He whisked his hand in the air as if it was nothing at all.

She blinked. “It sounds easy, but what’s the catch?” 

He continued with that dangerous smirk. “No catch, just fun.” He looked as if he was up to something. His eyes squinted as his grin grew from the side of his mouth. 

She wasn’t sure what to think. They’d joked about her being a spy, but this was a full invitation! “Is that what you’re doing today?”

“No. Tonight I have to finish my requests for supplies. That means I need to go get the supplies from the bunks and sign it out.” He chuckled. “It’s Thursday. Let me know.”

“I have class on Thursdays,” Riza reminded. 

“Take it off.” He replied casually. 

It was a tempting offer. She had always wondered what he did at work. Maybe it’d be fun. It had been explained that he was a training officer but that was it. This was her chance to not only observe him in action but to participate as they had joked before. It was also a good time to see the other part of him. He was so nice and courteous when he was with her, always grinning in one way or another. But then he’d make a comment like, “roughing the academy students up.” She thought the Sergeant Major did that. Maybe he was just over exaggerating? As they convinced Sheska to put her book down long enough to get into the car, Riza nodded towards him. “I only have one class,” she whispered. “I’ll go!” 

“Thursday then,” he confirmed. “I can pick you up at 0430, or you can meet me at the office at 0500.” 

Sheska giggled as she had snuck up on them making Riza flinch in surprise “You’re too cute. Using military time.” She turned to Riza as she pointed to Roy. “You better keep him.” 

It only resulted in an eye-roll from Riza. She had no immediate plans to let him go quite yet. Considering his offer to go on training with him, she didn’t think Roy was planning on letting her go either. 

Thursday couldn’t arrive any quicker. He told her to wear comfortable clothes, she was going to be given a uniform to wear anyway. She didn’t have to do her hair or wear any makeup. His most important concern was that she was comfortable. That was all he told her. However, four-thirty in the morning was still a bit early to what she was used to. It was probably normal for Roy to get less sleep occasionally, or maybe he knew the feeling too well as he had a large thermos of coffee next to him when she opened the door. His hair was a mess, odds and ends poking out everywhere, but his face was surprisingly awake. It was hard not to notice the white collared shirt and the blue pants, as if he were some executive going to a meeting. Barely noticeable was the stubble which littered his chin. “Didn’t have time to shave?”

He chuckled. “We allow facial hair,” he defended in a rough voice. 

“Uh-huh…” If he wanted this early in the morning, he was going to have to put up with a level of sarcasm.

The halls were barren, lights on dim, as she followed him to his office. She noticed the halls were white as white, plain wooden doors, and fluorescent lighting was the government’s identity. There were a few pictures, some of the generals, others were paintings, and a poster or two of recruitment propaganda. Once you enter, you were military in stature, uniform, mind, and action. Riza wouldn’t be lying if she said she wasn’t intimidated. After several halls, which she considered a maze with the lack of noticeable landmarks, Roy pulled out his keys and opened an office door. It wasn’t what she had ever envisioned. There were two file cabinets. The walls were beige, not white or grey as the walls outside his office.  _ I wonder if they all are like that,  _ she thought curiously. His chair squeaked as he sat tiredly in it, opening a desk drawer. There were two other seats in the office, so Riza took one quietly, keeping her hands in her lap, and her arms in towards her body. She was too busy looking at the interior of his office known as his professional identity.. He had a photo of a couple of his sisters, a small flag of Amestris, and a frame with two white gloves in them. Standing to get a closer look, she noticed a unique emblem in the upper right corner of the frame, and an intricate design on the glove. 

“What’s this,” she asked curiously. 

Roy popped his head up from a metal cabinet. “What? Oh! That is the insignia of our regiment.” 

“What about the gloves?”

He walked over to look over her shoulder, having to squeeze by the desk. “That is the special unit I was in called Hellfire. It’s a sign for combustion or light. We lead the way in the dark.” 

“Your whole unit was special forces?”

Roy frowned, going back to his desk. “No. They are a … special group.” 

Riza stared at him, expecting more of a story. “You going to tell me about it?”

Roy opened the folder as he returned to his desk, sighing loudly as he was annoying him with her questions. His tone remained calm. “The Alchemists are a special forces regiment in the Amestrian Army. We are meant to change the war. Our purpose is to get behind the enemy, in theory, and change the outcome of the battle.” He rolled his hands as he thought of how to explain it. “The gloves represent the squadron I was part of. So, within the special forces, we are split into groups with designated purposes.” 

“Wow,” Riza breathed as she looked at it. “I didn’t know that you were part of the elite. I thought you were just a soldier.” 

“I am,” Roy replied casually. 

“You’re special ops!” 

He shrugged as if it was not a big deal as he pulled out a paper, looking it over. 

She leaned over to look at the bottom lettering. “ _ Tempus destruendi reassmeble _ ?”

“Break down, reassemble. Motto,” he quickly explained as he waved her over.  He handed her a pen. “Sign this waver.” 

Riza looked it over. “This is so my nonexistent family can’t sue the army if I get hurt or die?”

He nodded, tapping the line at the bottom. “Come on, let's not be late.” 

“Geeze,” she remarked with a smirk. “Military you is no fun.” 

“Military me has deadlines.” He tapped the paper again. As she signed, he opened a bag on the floor and pulled out a perfectly folded uniform. He put on the jacket as if it shouldn’t bother her, but his actions were incredibly intoxicating. Her eyes froze onto him, mesmerized simply by the blue jacket sliding over his shoulders, over the white collared shirt he wore. The fabric rippled as he shook it straight before his fingers began to button it, working autonomously. Her mouth grew wet and she swallowed quietly. Eventually, he noticed because he completely changed from a stern look to a playful one. His eyes softened, lips curling to the side as a grin grew. “Like what you see?” 

Riza laughed lightly as if he’d said a funny joke. He leaned over and she leaned up, their lips kissing in the middle. “You really do look good in the Amestrian Blue.” 

He waved at her to follow him. Quickly he walked down another hall. Riza was starting to feel lost. It amazed her that he could even remember where he was going, let alone walk so damn quickly.  _ But, hot damn, his shoulders look like they could hold the whole world up.  _ Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for her to go with him. 

“You don’t mind people touching you, do you?” His pace did not lighten up as he turned another corner. 

“Uh,” Riza blinked nervously.  _ Touch me? What does that even entail?  _

“They are going hands-on, so they aren’t going to be thinking about breasts or intimate spots.” He stopped as he snorted out a laugh. “Do you mind needles?”

“What the hell, Roy? What did you get me into?” Riza’s mouth dropped open. 

He waved her concern off as he started walking again. “If you don’t want them to IV you, better let them know.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Technically it’s too late,” he laughed. “You already signed the waiver!” 

“You’re a jackass,” Riza muttered lowly, glaring at his back. 

“Only when I’m drinking this much coffee.” 

She followed him down the hall to a closet. He opened it with a key from his pocket and stepped inward. He rummaged around for a few minutes before looking over his shoulder. “What size are you?”

She fumbled as she admitted it to him, seeing that he was in no way affected by it. He handed her a black shirt, a light camo jacket, and light camo pants. They were folded in the same manner as his clothes in his office. They were lightly camouflaged, nothing fancy. The officers that she’d seen before were all dressed as Roy, with a waist cape, lined with silver and a folded chest piece. The fourragere topped it off as simple strawberry on the cake. “I thought the military always wore blue.” 

“You never  _ see  _ the ones in camo,” he chuckled at his own pun as he handed her a fluorescent armband. 

“You think you’re so funny,” she chuckled, listening to his laugh. So far he wasn't much different from what she knew of him outside these walls. The serious not in his face and eyes was almost expected, as was his short patience. However, he still had time for jokes, and it almost reassured Riza that he was the same smart ass as always.

He waved her on as they turned a corner. “There is the lady’s locker room. Get changed. Let me know if anything doesn’t fit.” 

Riza blushed. It was an area that she was unfamiliar with, and Roy happened to be so casual with it.  _ I wonder if they don’t consider female and male any different in the military,  _ she thought as she nodded towards the locker.  _ They're going to fondle me of some kind during this training thing. So it wouldn’t bother him.  _ Still, the back of her mind tingled as Riza thought about how little information she was being given.  _ He’s up to something.  _ She was sure of it. 

“We can put your clothes in my locker.” He waved at her, opening the other door and disappearing inside. As she changed, she thought about how everything was going so fast.  _ He  _ moved fast. She wondered if that was what the training was going to be like? He gave her a first impression it was going to be quick, easy, and painless. Now he had just informed her that it was going to be a little more than easy and possibly painful.  _ I’m not doing this again,  _ she sighed as she buttoned up the uniform. It was a bit big on her but fit nicely. It wasn’t like she was going to keep it, although part of her wanted to. She always wondered what she’d look like in a uniform. When her father died, a fleeting thought did entertain her of joining just to find him. 

She opened the door to see his face washed, shaved, and his uniform crisp.  _ Holy shit, _ she thought as she tried to keep her mouth closed. He reached for her clothes, taking the band from her hands and wrapping it around her upper arm, making sure the velcro was tight. His touch was soft, caring even as his finger slipped around her arm. Her body’s heat was rising. 

“That makes you a volunteer. They won’t shoot you with this on.” 

That intrusive thought of love blew out the window rather quickly. “Wait? Live rounds?”

“God, no!” He laughed loudly and shook his head quickly. “Paint rounds. You’ll be fine. They don’t hurt that much if you get hit.” Roy pecked a kiss on her lips. “Should we call you by your codename?” He whispered before another kiss.

Riza kissed him back, smiling at the little affection he was giving her. “What?”

“Elizabeth?” 

She folded her arms as she glared at him. “No more coffee for you,” she ordered as she poked him in the chest. 

He ran her clothes back into the men’s locker room. She stood nervously out in the hall, watching as officers started showing up. They came in all shapes and sizes. Some smiled at her, others paid her no attention. It didn’t help the feeling that she was completely out of place, even with her “volunteer uniform” on. 

“We have to do a briefing,” his deep voice broke her from her thoughts. “You’ll meet everyone, get an idea of what is going to happen, and then off you go.” 

“Okay,” she said meekly. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he reassured. “The medics are really nice. This helps them immensely.” 

The briefing room was painted a light blue, about fifteen men, also in camo, sat in simple foldable chairs. They all rose, giving Roy a quick and proper salute. _Now that is impressive!_ It took more than just willpower not to smile and look up at him. Their heels clicked as they stood straight, almost as if you could put a board on their backs. Arms were as a perfect angle, stiff hand to forehead, as they looked towards him. _He’s got some power! It’s kinda,_ she held a blush in, _sexy._

“At ease,” he ordered. She’d never heard that kind of tone from him before. It was a deep authoritative tone. They all sat down, pulling out note pads. Riza also went to sit down in an open seat that was along the wall, but Roy grabbed her bicep and pulled her next to him. “Good morning,” he stated as he pulled out his journal, the one he bought at the store. She watched as he flipped through a few pages that already had his scribbled handwriting on. It was barely legible as if he wrote it in a hurry. Maybe his thoughts came so fast his hands couldn’t keep up.  _ Or he waits till the last minute and is always in a hurry.  _ Nevertheless, it was already in use. “This is Riza Hawkeye. She is going to be our volunteer.” 

“Good morning, Miss Hawkeye,” they said as a collective. 

_ Now he’s just making me feel special.  _ But he didn’t smirk sideways at her. His eyes remained in his book before looking up. It was as if she was barely there. Once again, she stepped away to sit down, and his hand shot out grabbing her and pulling her next to him. She felt like a student at the front of a classroom, singled out. Her hands sweated, and she bit her lips as they curled inward. She watched them, ignoring her as if she wasn’t there to focus on the task at hand.  _ Okay, not really special.  _

“We are going to have her go out, putting her as an x on the map. You have twenty minutes to find her, ten minutes to stabilize her, and thirty minutes to EVAC. It’s going to go quickly. Please look at your map. You will have two trenches to cross before you enter the EVAC zone.” His voice was still deep, demanding, and level. “Second Lieutenant Falman will have an additional four men to aid you and Staff Sergeant Kanab will be on each team. Myself and First Lieutenant Stephens will also be attending each session. We will not be aiding you.” He turned the page of his notebook, his finger running through his notes as quickly as his eyes. “Please divide into the groups that are listed. I want to be out of here by 1500 hours. Is everything clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” they agreed. 

“Any questions, please see Stephens.” He turned to Riza. “Ready?” It was a complete 180 in tone and voice as he asked her softly. Even his eyes turned soft and she could see a slight curl in his lips as he smiled. 

“Do I have a choice?”

A tall gentleman, thin in stance chuckled behind her “Nope,” answered. 

“Riza, this is Second Lieutenant Falman.” He pointed to the officer next to the short fellow. He was taller than Roy, grey hair with a straight face. He looked serious until he smiled. 

“Nice to meet you, Ma’am. I’m going to take you out to the location.” His voice was clear and precise. He seemed more laid back than the others with his hands in his pockets. 

“You’re not going with me?” She turned back and pointed to her boyfriend.

Roy shook his head. “I’m going to see to the teams here.” He turned to his lieutenant. “If she gets hurt, I will make sure that you are signing off on invoices for a month.” 

“Yes, Sir. Come on,” he said as he waved over his shoulder. 

Falman tried to make conversation, however, Riza felt too odd and uncomfortable. Roy wasn’t with her; and although she didn’t think Falman or the driver was going to hurt her, it was still odd to be left with strangers. “He must really like you to have you here,” the grey officer noted. “You’re going to have fun.”  _ Fun  _ to these guys was something different to her. It was becoming apparent that they didn’t get volunteers very often. 

She laughed nervously. “Well, this is my first time, so go easy.” 

“First timer?” The driver laughed. “You’re in for a treat.”

_ Gotta try everything once!  _ Riza sighed and looked out the window.  _ It’s not like I’m going to die. And like Roy said, it’s to help the medics. _

They lead her out in an open field, motioning to lift her arms as they squirted a red substance on her. “Dye, corn syrup, and water,” Falman explained. “You’ll lay here and don’t move. You can scream if you want to once you hear them. Yell ‘medic’ or you can cuss.” He put his hands on his hips. “You have a chest wound.” He explained, pointing to her chest. “Do you want a quick rundown on how this is supposed to go down, or do you want the real experience?” Lieutenant Falman wasn’t a fast talker, and was softer in speech than that of Roy on duty. It was comforting in a way. 

As timid and overwhelmed as Riza was, she was still adventurous. 

“I just want confirmation before I step back. Is it okay that they touch you, remove clothing, and put an IV in?” He looked entirely too serious. 

“Take my clothes off?” Her mouth dropped open as her shoulders dropped. “I don’t want them taking my clothes off!” 

“They could take your jacket off,” he pulled at the red spot on her jacket. “Since you have a chest injury, they are also going to apply pressure to your chest. I promise you they aren’t groping or feeling you up. This is a serious training session. And Mustang and Stephens are watching.” He chuckled, looking back at the vehicle. “If they aren’t being serious, we are in for a big surprise.” 

She slowly nodded, not sure what the big surprise was. “I suppose it’s okay, then,” she answered slowly, cautiously. She was still not given the full extent of this training. Everything was starting to seem very suspicious. 

“These guys are getting ready to be deployed next month. This is what they will be dealing with.” 

“Will I at least get ice cream afterwards,” she joked lightly. 

The driver laughed from the truck. “You’ll probably have a beer with us!”

She shrugged. “I can’t back out now. Okay, let's do this.” She laid down on the ground, deciding to lay on her side. 

“They will be by in about twenty minutes if everything goes on time. And Mustang is rarely on time.” 

_ He’s never late with me.  _

“At any point, you can yell stop, though Mustang and Stephens may give you some gruff’.” He chuckled, his thin eyes smiling in the sun.

They got back in the truck and drove away, leaving her to herself in the field.  _ I should have brought a book,  _ she joked to herself.  _ Or maybe my phone so I can listen to music.  _ There was also the note of how chilly it was.  _ Maybe a blanket.  _ It was fall time, almost winter. At least he gave her a heavy set of pants and a jacket. She looked up as she could hear a helicopter overhead.  _ I wonder if they are jumping out to find me. I bet this one big game to them. Do they get scored on it? What happens if they fail? Are they really going to poke me with a needle? _ There were too many unanswered questions.  __

She heard some yelling, a couple of loud pops of gunfire followed. It made her jump and flinch as it was so loud. Rolling over, she saw other people shooting towards her, making her flinch again. She wanted to sit up and point to her arm, yell at them to stop shooting towards her.  _ They really do go live action here!  _ She didn’t see Roy though.  _ Shouldn’t he be here to tell them not to hurt me?  _ The first two men slid up to her as if they were sliding into home base, kneeling to give them cover by firing at the other men she couldn’t see. Two more men showed up with a bag. It was suddenly really loud. The gunfire of the paint rounds was deafening and the medics screamed at each other. 

“Put pressure on that,” one ordered. 

A hand-pulled back her jacket, while another pressed firmly against her side. His rough hand was touching her breast, pressing down on it. She remembered how thankful Roy was and told her it was important to the medic. Additional to it, she saw that he wasn’t even looking as he reached back for some gauze and applied that to her side. He was pressing firmly against it, yelling something towards another guy. 

“She has a sucking chest wound! We have to cut her shirt!” 

Riza jumped up, only to be held down with one hand by the man holding that gauze. “We’re not going to cut your shirt,” he told her. 

They took a plastic piece, taping three sides of it over her shirt. 

One medic looked down at her and smiled. Her heart warmed, relieving her of most of the anxiety that built within her chest as he made that little eye contact before he looked over his shoulder and screamed about a backboard. Another guy who was very tall with hair as dark as Roy’s leaned over her. “You’re going to feel a pinprick.” He whispered before wrapping a black rubber band around her arm. “Don’t worry, we do this all the time.” 

Riza couldn’t help but laugh nervously. It was still loud as there was another string of gunshots and yelling. A couple of them chuckled as she felt no pain at all but just a rubber piece being taped to her. She looked over to see them just tape a piece of tubing to her, holding an empty bag above her. “We’re not going to poke you,” he smirked with a chuckle. “Scared you, huh? We have minutes guys!” Hands grabbed her clothes as they slid her onto a backboard. Within a minute, she was strapped tightly to the board. Riza was highly impressed with the time and accuracy these men worked. The IV bag was dropped on her chest. Another band tied it down. 

Just like that, they were moving. If it was overwhelming just being left without Roy, it was more overwhelming with such a chaotic setting and not even knowing what was going on. Then add to the experience was the imagination of this in real life. Hands would be shaking, there’d be crying, and there’d be a lot more blood. She really was helping them practice. The more practice, the less likely of them freezing up and failing in an actual emergency. The feeling was surreal and intense, to say the least. 

“Fuck,” one of the men yelled out next to her. “I’m shot!” She saw a bright flash of red paint on his shoulder. Another medic pulled him down and into the first trench. She could barely see as one of the regular soldiers stepped in and grabbed her stretcher as the medic immediately attended the “shot” man. 

“The second trench is loaded,” a calm voice announced behind her.  _ I wonder if that is the Staff Sergeant.  _ Maybe the next round, she’d watch with Roy. She wanted to see what was going on that was out of her view. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dart of blue and wondered who it was. It had to be one of the officers since they were not in the camo outfits. They were bunked down in a trench with paintballs rolling overhead. She was able to turn her head as a man stepped to the side and pulled the pin on something. 

“Grenade,” he yelled! She watched as his hand went back, and the little ball rolled from his finger behind him. 

“Come on,” one of the medics groaned, almost dropping her. 

The whistle deafened the whole field, a clear signal to stop. Riza flinched, shutting her eyes at the sharp ring. 

“Private!” The voice was deep and familiar.

_ Roy?  _ Riza opened her eyes and looked around. 

“You just got everyone in the fucking trenched killed because you didn’t pay attention in the explosives course! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

She’d never heard him use that voice before. It was deep, sounding like her father when he was in a bad mood. Riza never imagined hearing him use such a corrective tone. She strained her head to see him nose to nose with the man. 

One of the medics leaned down to her as the whole scene quieted. “Game over,” he whispered. 

“We’re not only lucky that you didn’t have a real grenade, but this isn’t a real fucking trench! What’s worse is that you didn’t even get on top of it to save your teammates from your mistake! At least they wouldn’t have to deal with your incompetence!” His hand pointed to the heavy plastic ball on the ground. 

“He is really harsh,” the medic continued to whisper. “He takes this kind of training really seriously. But we respect him.” 

“Why?” She squinted as she saw Roy grab the kid by the back of his uniform and dragged him from the trench. 

“Because he saves our lives.” 

“You’re dead,” he yelled. “Out of here! You have to retake the explosives course before I want to see you here again.” 

“Yes, Sir,” she heard the kid yell back. 

As the medics adjusted their hold, she heard him yell out again. “Don’t you dare drop her.” 

A sharp whistle rang in her ears as the shooting started, with two less men on the team. The medics looked toward one of the two standing privates. “Get up there,” he motioned. “We have fifteen minutes!” 

“Grenade,” the other man called out. This time the explosive flew over the edge and the shooting on the other end stopped. 

“That’s how to throw a fucking grenade!” She could only assume that was the other officer.  _ Stephens was his name? _ And up and over the trench they toted her. As bumpy as the ride was, she was secure in place. They’d tilt her one way, then tilt her another, but she never, if barely, moved from her secured place on the backboard. It wasn’t even a worry of theirs as they never watched to see if she was moving. As they stopped, a medic would reach for her pulse, they’d stop, and then get going. She wanted so badly to see this whole action played out. She wanted to see them work as a team, even if the experience was enlightening enough. 

After the second trench, she felt them incline, running up a hill, then down a hill. They must be approaching the EVAC point because they were now on level ground. Words were yelled back and forth, then one called out, “Smoke!” She tried to look ahead of her. She could only see a plume of red smoke loom over her. 

_ Smoke? This is the EVAC? Has it been an hour? That went by so fast! _

A loud roar followed. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” she screamed. 

One of the medics laughed as her hair started waving violently in her face. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” she screamed. 

“You’re not going to kill me,” she heard him laugh beside her. He laughed as if the whole joke was his. He was completely amused with himself and she was going to make sure she kicked his ass when she was let free. She wasn’t afraid of flying, but she also was never told about this. 

Before she thought they were safe, shooting from the two soldiers started up again. At this point, she couldn’t even hear the medics and the soldiers yelling at each other. The roar deafened the whole group. She looked up to see helicopter blades above her and then in another instance she was looking at the inside of a helicopter. The doors were open and she heard straps being clicked in while she laid on the floor. 

“You’re not done,” a voice screamed over the thunder of the blades above her. 

Two men climbed in and over her. The shock of the whole moment, she didn’t even realize they stepped over her till it was over. Lastly, a blue officer with black hair and a shit-eating grin jumped in next to her. 

“Fun huh,” he yelled, leaning behind him to tap the shoulder of the pilot. “I arranged this just for you.” 

She wanted to yell at him, calling him on this whole charade. Then she looked into his boyish eyes and remembered how this was all for fun. It must have been quite the paperwork in order to even get her on the helicopter. One of the doors slammed shut. “Do you want me to continue,” one of the medics asked. 

Roy lifted a hand. “Just unstrap her. We’re done.” 

She wouldn’t deny she was happy to have the straps taken off her. As soon as she sat up, the medic grabbed her pants and pulled her next to him, pointing at the seat belt and Roy handed her a helmet with a mic. She put it on, noticing the noise quieted. “Ready for round two? We have a full day of this fun!” 

She buttoned up her jacket watching one of the medics snickering in the corner. She looked over to see the other door still wide open strained to look below them. It was quite the view from where they were hovering over. She’d never been in a helicopter either, so it was a first on that list as well. The medic next to her pointed out the door. “Do you want to see,” he asked into his mic. He stood up, grabbing the hold above him. He reached over, grabbing the waistband of her pants. His fingers reached into the font where it was buttoned up, grasping a tight hold on her. Any other woman might have been livid, felt vulnerable and sexually attacked by the intimacy of the hold. But Riza didn’t even think about it. Watching Roy, he didn’t flinch at the action either. He just sat there, shit-eating grin and all. “Ready? Scoot over and buckle in!” She unbuckled and slid over, quickly locking into place. Once her seatbelt clicked, He reached behind her and pulled a chest harness over her shoulders and pointed to her waist. “Strap in,” he ordered. She felt abnormally safe as the medic sat on the other side of her. She could see he was very orderly, calm, and patient. She would not have been surprised if he was a veteran. 

“You want the whole tour?” Roy tapped the shoulder of the pilot. “Take a loop around Central.” 

“You got it,” a feminine voice replied in the earpiece within the helmet. 

_ It’s a girl,  _ she thought in amazement. Her jaw dropped as she looked at the rest of them. She’d only seen men up until this point. 

The medic beside her gave her a thumbs up. “Wrangel here is the best in her class.” 

Roy never stopped grinning. As her eyes panned back to him. Their eyes locked, unable to look away as his eyes poured joy and youthful play into her. Her body serged with the excitement that she was missing out from the start of this whole exercise, her cheeks reddening. She could see that he loved her, and for a moment she wondered why he’d do this for her? They’d only been dating for a few weeks, and he’d do this for  _ her. _ Being locked into his ebony eyes, she knew why. He winked at her and looked out the open door. She followed his eyes, relaxing as she took in the view she was spoiled with.

* * *

Riza didn’t participate in the next exercise. She was too busy enjoying the ride. The helicopter took some wide turns for her, panning over the city from above. Once they were done, she quickly insisted on watching at least one round. As she had thought, it was rather chaotic. This time, Roy didn’t yell at anyone. He stood to the side and watched carefully as the “injured” was carried from one point to the next. It was hard not to reach out to him. Even in the helicopter, it was hard to do so. In that professional setting, she couldn’t just hold his hand. Though she wanted to do more. She also wanted to kiss him, passionately thank him for everything he’d done for her. 

Fourteen forty-five came around and Roy dismissed the group, holding a clipboard as he checked off a few things. He led her, and the rest of the group into a meeting room. Riza was certain that he wanted to kiss her too. She could almost see how he chewed on his lip and pinched the bridge of the nose. Then, his eyes would dart to hers, catching him smile at her for just a moment before he returned back to his military persona. Beers were passed out as promised and she found herself sitting around a big table. Roy made some scribbles in his notebook, while First Lieutenant Stephens filled out a few papers. It was a moment to really see what he did and she could say that she was impressed.

“Team three is not ready to go out,” Stephens said as he passed Falman a paper. “They will need to go again tomorrow.”

Roy downed the rest of his beer, shutting his notebook. “I’m out of here,” he declared. “Miss Hawkeye and I have dinner we need to get to?”

Riza blinked as she stared tiredly at her boyfriend. “Dinner?”

“He’s full of surprises today,” Falman chuckled. 

“Make sure Private Littleton is reprimanded properly.” 

“Enjoy your dinner,” Stephens said with a lazy salute. 

It was odd to see them so casual around him even though he had lost his shit at the man. She wasn’t even sure if she was okay seeing a completely different side of him like that. It was almost terrifying, and if it was up to her, she’d never want to see it again. Ever. On some level it nerved her. She worried that he could snap like that when he was with her. 

He must have known what she was thinking as he nudged her with his shoulder, breaking her concentration. “I’m really sorry that you saw me lose it.” He rubbed the back of his head as he walked slowly down the halls. “I take that kind of thing pretty seriously. Any of us would have snapped, including Staff Sergeant Kanab. I just happened to jump the gun.” He put his hands in his pockets, staring ahead. “They told me I have to let them have a turn. Heh.” 

“Do you always look over medics?” She followed him around a corner, seeing the locker rooms. 

“I look over a wide range of training.” His deep voice calmed her as he looked at her, a certain fondness taken in. His steps and voice were confident and she found herself mesmerized again by his demeanor. The strides of his steps were even, soft as they walked gently on the stone floor. Roy Mustang walked as if he owned the world and he knew it. He was too cool for that hallway. “If I don’t go to the training then Falman will.” 

“You enjoy medical training specifically?” 

“It is the most important piece of the army besides a gun and a body to pull the trigger.” 

“Why do you take it so seriously? You have special ops training, and you are part of an elite group of highly skilled officers.”

“They matter when you’re getting shot at,” he whispered. “I’ll be back with your clothes.” 

* * *

Dinner included a sandwich and fries. She picked. It wasn’t a fancy place, but after a day like that, she wasn’t looking for fancy. She had showered at the headquarters, still feeling like she needed a large dose of ibuprofen and three days’ worth of sleep. However, the sandwich was amazing and her fries were perfect. To top it off, he was paying. She’d forgo sleep until the sandwich was devoured. Happily, she munched, a satisfied smile on her face as she sighed a hum after each bite. It was everything she needed. Her hand drifted across the table meeting his halfway. He rolled his wrist, palm up to accept her hand with a smile of his own. 

He looked so amused at her behavior as if he was studying her with excitement at the results. He didn’t look half as tired, however, he didn’t do any of the work. And she made sure he knew too. At first, she expected him to tell her to quit being a baby, but he didn’t. The playful banter was nonexistent from his end. Then she thought he was going to be overly sympathetic, sarcastically caring for her like a child. He did not. He stood back, just smiling at her. He handed her a beer, tossed a bag of peanuts and asked, “Is there anything else we can get you until I finish my notes?” Riza could only shake her head in wonderment of his soft tone and thankful smile. 

“This is so amazing,” she muttered with her mouth full. 

“You’re amazing,” he countered. “I wish I could take you this weekend.” 

“This weekend?” This was news. “What’s going on this weekend?”

Roy put his finger up as he finished off his soda. “I’m heading out for officer... leadership... training. Even as an office junkie, I need to pass physical exams and meet certain requirements like the rest of the troops.” 

Her mouth fell open. “You do things like that too?”

He shook his head, taking a bite of his sandwich. 

“I saw some pretty fat officers in there. You’re better looking than 60% of the headquarters.” 

He chuckled with his mouthful, squeezing her hand in his. 

“When did you find out? You didn’t tell me about this before.” 

He swallowed, looking at his soda with disappointment that it was gone. “I found out today. They do that occasionally. My Colonel walked by and told me that I had an email with the details, however, they were conducting training for us.” 

“You were barely in the office,” she gasped. 

“Oh, I have email on my phone.” He pulled out his phone, showing it to her. 

She put the last two bites of her sandwich in the paper basket it came in. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

“Field command,” he shrugged nonchalantly. 

It was obviously no big deal to Roy, but to Riza it was. He wasn’t in the field, he was learning to command it. Her boyfriend had some friends in high places. However, the idea that he was getting control over something so detailed and precise as that, it shot warning lights in her mind. “Are they sending you back out,” she exclaimed. 

“I don’t know. I won’t know. But I doubt it.” He again shrugged it off as if it was not something that even played in his mind. 

“Can they?” Her heart pounded loudly in her ears while her body grew tight as her inner fears rushed over her sanity. 

He nodded casually as he stood up to refill his cup. 

Her stomach dropped like lead and suddenly she wasn’t hungry. She’d only got another hold on him after two months, and now he was leaving again? 

“It will be fine,” he assured her. He sat back down with a large gulp of his soda through his straw. 

She didn’t feel fine. The world around her spun madly, threatening to turn upside down as she imagined him climbing in and out of the trenches, grenades going off next to him. Her gaze fell to her sandwich and she wiped her hand on the paper napkin. 

He was calm about this whole training, why couldn’t she? It was noncombat, he wasn’t going to get hurt since it was training. But she wasn’t sure what field command meant? The only guess would be map reading and how to properly order people around. She’d already had a taste of his temper. It surprised her the medic was so cool about it.  _ “Because he saves our lives.”  _ They respected him. Did that private he dragged out respect him? The medic indicated this was normal.  _ He’s never had a temper. Ever. Would he snap at me if I screwed up something?  _

At home, her eyes closed. She could hear music down the hall and someone walking above her. Her ears rang when the whistles blew, then the rifle fire was next to her, or when they were yelling over her. Their accuracy and time were vital and although she was not being tested, the lesson was on the quicker the better. What really struck her was Roy's straight out passion and strictness of the training.  _ He's such a laid back guy, with smirks, chuckles, jokes… _ he was different.  _ It's not outside the bounds of reality that he saw first hand the importance of medics. Maybe he watched a friend get hurt, or die.  _ Truth was, he didn't talk to her about much of it. There wasn't even certain he would if she asked.  _ Does it define who he is? Or is it just an experience he learned from?  _ It was leaning towards the former. However, his character did not exactly change based on the experience.  _ Then, it doesn't affect his character. It affects his experience and therefore his views.  _ It was a discussion with herself she felt needed more investigation into.  _ I can't just ask him,  _ she justified.  _ He needs to tell me on his own volition. It's not something me or anyone else should be concerned about if it doesn't affect who he is.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roy thinks he's so sneaky. I'm not sure how in canon Roy is by snapping at his men, but I can imagine that he'd not tolerate people being stupid on his team. And his special forces team names? What did you think? I thought it'd be a fun idea. And I know that Falman was a Warrant Officer, but I decided to give him an upgrade. He deserves it anyway. We won't see the traditional crew because of the other fic and how they are involved in that one. Disappointing, I know. But this story came after that one. So, it's a bit different. Plus, we are here for Royai. I still hope that you can tolerate the untraditional storyline we have.   
> Overall? Happy face? I hope that you did enjoy this chapter. Looking for more reasons for fluff, sorry that there was no cuddling. But there is more to come. Don't forget to leave a comment. I love them like my fish loves his little brine shrimp treats!


	9. A Side Wound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy is reminded that he is still healing from his wound. With Riza in mind, he decides to tell her about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You Rando for your patience with my redoing of this chapter. It's been a rough couple weeks! You're awesome!

There was a loud commotion that broke him from his humming tune and his excitement for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He didn’t hear anything being broken, but there was a great deal of yelling. He could hear two of his sisters, a male voice, but not his Aunt. _Odd,_ he thought as he put the knife down next to the peanut butter and his sandwich. _It’s coming from the bar side,_ he thought angrily. This happened. Some jerk would act out at the bar, touch something he wasn’t supposed to, and they’d kick him out. _Sounds like he doesn’t want to go._ This always nerved Roy, even when he was young. He grew up with a high value of respect. There was no excuse for such behavior. There was no excuse for yelling. It wasn’t that kind of bar. His aunt’s bar was known for a relaxing atmosphere; somewhere one could go to escape the chaos of the world. Many patrons were not the yelling type. The closer he came, the louder the yelling was. His eyebrow twitched. 

“You fucking bitch.” 

“Sir,” Catherine ordered sternly. “This is your last warning.” 

It pissed him off that Catherine had given him any warning. Aunt Chris would have murdered him on the way out of the door. 

“This is awful service. Your drinks are shit, and your girls are less than friendly. Then, you charge me for drinks? What kind of fucking scam is this?”

Roy approached the doorway, seeing Taylor leaning out to see. He picked her up by her belt and moved her to the side. “Hey,” she glared. 

He glared back. Now was not the time for antics. He wasn’t going to immaturely argue with her. He was there to set someone straight.

“You’re not even going to refund me for my drinks! You’re going to take my money and kick me out? You need to learn good business, starting on how to treat the men here.” 

“The sign says you cannot be overly intoxicated,” his other sister, Shelby, yelled back as she pointed to the sign. 

“I’m not leaving till you give me my money!” He pointed at Catherine. “Someone needs to put you ladies in your place!”

Roy stepped from the doorway. Not only had this gentleman yelled in the bar at his sisters, but he had made the mistake of threatening them. He stiffened his body and his walk as he came around to the bar area. He didn’t ask what was wrong, or even if the girls needed help. He didn’t have to. He planted himself next to Catherine. He was probably a joke to the man. The two were quite different. Where Roy was thinner, and shorter, the angry beast of a man was at least six inches taller and looked like he could lift a boat. _The bigger they are, the harder they fall,_ he thought assuringly. Roy wasn’t even dressed. He had his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and an old worn blue t-shirt. There was no surprise when the man laughed at him. 

“Are you here to tell me to go too? Or are you going to do the right thing and tell these girls to shape up and respect a paying customer?” 

Roy looked at his foster-sisters, then at the man. “You need to leave.” He had all the training necessary. He had all the confidence in the world. There was no fear. However, there wasn’t a need to look bigger or badder. It was far more satisfying to look like a weaker fighter. It held the element of surprise. Roy stepped forward, pulling his hands from his pockets. “I’m not going to ask you again. You need to go.” 

The livid customer stood up to Roy’s challenge. He took a wide swing, immediately starting the fight. Roy heard Shelby yell for them to stop, and Catherine gasp, but Roy ducked as it was too easy for him. He fisted his hands and spread his stance. There were other customers in the bar and he made a quick assessment to see if they were going to intervene on the brute’s behalf. It was quite the opposite. One of the regular’s had come over and looked like he was going to join Roy's side. _There’s no need to start a brawl,_ Roy reminded himself, stepping back to allow his adversary to stumble forward. He threw a forward punch, which Roy stepped to the side and grabbed the man’s arm. It was an easy turn to flip him and pin him. It was the man’s turn to surprise Roy. The brute stepped forward. Roy’s strong grip on the arm worked against him as he was forced off his balance. From the corner of his eye, Roy saw the wide swing. _That’s going to hurt._ But to brace for the hit was more effective since his opponent's weight would shift and Roy could swing him back off his feet. There was one thing Roy had forgotten. The giant’s fist slammed harshly into his side.

Roy felt his body explode, every nerve setting fire and burning. His body collapsed whether he wanted to or not. His legs gave out and he hit the floor. Holding his side, he reached over to grab the man’s ankle to stop a kick. It was the only way to protect himself. Consciously he fought to stay in the fight, even with his eyesight straining. He had to protect himself with hopes of pulling the man off balance onto the ground. Even with the man on the ground with him, he still wouldn’t be able to defend himself properly. God forbid if the man decided to get on him and punch him. He was just as useless as the day he was shot.

“Roy!” 

_That’s exactly what I need right now. My sisters shouldn’t see this._ He was supposed to be invincible to them, not a weakling who could get his ass kicked. But he couldn’t breathe. His eyesight was dimming and he forced himself to stay in the fight. It was no different from the trenches as taught instinct and adrenaline came in as the man took another kick at him. Roy felt it and coughed loudly, tasting blood. “Fucker,” he groaned. It wasn’t like he could fight back, his body was shutting down in its ability to move. The toe of the boot slammed into his ribs. _Once you’re down, it’s hard to get up. Never go down._ He could hear his instructor’s voice screaming at him. He opened an eye to see two more customers jumping on the attacker. He coughed again, fighting for breath before he heard his aunt’s voice, then it was black. 

“Roy. Roy, you better wake up.” 

Shallow breaths and a cough woke him. The first thing he saw was the ceiling of the bar, then his Aunt standing over him. “Fuck,” he groaned. 

“You are in some trouble, Roy.”

_Fuck._

“Catherine has the car pulled around,” he heard Taylor yell. 

It didn’t matter, he wasn’t going to be conscious for much longer. His hand pressed firmly against his side in attempts to ease the pain, but it did not. He rolled over and into a ball as he groaned, holding back tears that no one needed to see. 

“You need to lie on your back,” a gentleman ordered. 

“Don’t tell me what I need,” Roy managed to mutter, tasting blood again with another cough. Something was wrong. 

“Marvin,” his Aunt ordered. “Will you help Chester get him into the car.” 

“My pleasure, Madam,” the gentleman agreed. 

Roy could only scream as they pulled him from the floor, bending his waist in the process. “No, God no! Just put me down. Ow! Ow! Ow!” They raised his arms over their shoulders. “Fuck, put me down!” It hurt to breathe, to move, to anything. Flashbacks of the same excruciating pain while blood soaked his hands and gunshots rang in his ears, rippled in his memories. 

It worked for a moment as they started to put him down until Madam Christmas came back and told Roy to shut up and the others to put him in the car. They loaded him, nicely enough, with Taylor throwing him an ice pack in which Marvin put on his side and then put Roy’s hand over it, telling him to hold it there. He couldn’t. As soon as the door shut, so did his vision. 

He awoke to a feeling as if his body had been thrown from a train going a hundred miles per hour. He blinked a few times, seeing that Taylor was sitting next to him, but his aunt was absent. She was probably demanding something from the nurses like more ice or meds… Roy didn’t care. He was in a gown which meant that he had been out for some time. His head hurt immensely, and an IV in his arm made his arm ache when he tried to move it. A large ice pack rested on his side. He snapped his mouth a couple of times and blinked at Taylor again. 

“Tay,” he groaned. As soon as he tried to move, his side groaned with him. 

The teen snapped up and looked at him worryingly. “Roy, you’re awake!” She giggled happily and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You have been out,” she informed. “They put you on morphine or something like that. Aunt Christine is talking to the doctor.” 

He groaned as he adjusted to get comfortable. “Can you get me some water?” 

She nodded as he reached for his side again. As she poured him a small glass, she nodded towards his side. “It’s a pretty bad bruise,” she informed him. 

“How much did you see?”

“You need to get manly underwear,” she snickered. “Maybe with boxing gloves on them.” 

“You’re funny.” He took a deep breath, only regretting it. “Don’t tell me they are keeping me here.” 

She shook her head, sitting back in her seat. “They took an x-ray or something like that. He tore some of the healing something-rathers in your side. It’s possible that he bruised your… kidney?” 

Roy grumped as he fell back against the bed. 

“They said that they were afraid you broke a rib, but that’s not the case. They did say that you may pee blood… that’s your kidneys right?” 

Roy stared at the ceiling. _How embarrassing._ He closed his eyes tightly. 

“Something about a pulmonary contusion? Did I say that right?” Taylor leaned against the bed. “The doctor thinks you can go home today, but you have to take it easy. He said that you got your ass kicked.” 

He grumped, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t need to be reminded of his failures. “Do me another huge favor, Tay?”

She nodded. 

“Take that chair and slip it under that handle so that Aunt and any nurses can’t get in.” 

She only laughed. He was serious and she was laughing. “She’s very upset with you,” she informed as she sat down.

“I know…” He looked toward the closed window. “I wasn’t thinking. I should have known better than to put myself in that kind of position,” he muttered. “Maybe I’ve grown complacent while staying home.” In a way, he wished he was talking to Riza. Then again, why would he ever want to be less than her superhero? Now he was just a man who got his ass kicked. _God, if she knew, she’d kick your ass too._

Slowly he leaned forward. “I have to pee,” he grunted as he waved Taylor to help him. 

“No way,” she shook her hands in front of her. “You’re on your own with that one!” 

* * *

It was ordered from his doctor to his Colonel, and his Aunt in between, for him to stay home while his body healed. It was unappealing, having to stay in bed and be sick like he was months ago. It felt as if he’d taken a huge leap back in his healing progress. _Granted, it’s not like moving is easy anyway,_ he grumped to himself. Every time he moved the wrong way, there was a wave of fire ants that started eating the wound and spread through his body in a matter of seconds. _At least I can walk,_ he lamented. That was a true statement. It was hard enough when he could only make it down a hall before having to sit down and wait for help. _No one needs to know,_ he determined. _No one needs to see me this hurt. I’m not hurt, I’m fine._ But even Roy knew he was lying to himself. 

He received some sympathy, mainly from Catherine, the least from his aunt. Catherine would rub his head, like a little brother, and bring him a snack. Shelby’s cat seemed to pay more attention to him as well, although he’d never been a cat person. After two days, enough was enough and he locked himself away and opened a book Sheska gave him. Then Riza called. That was the worst thing that could have happened, for all the good reasons. He felt lighter, better in an instant, and he dismissed his pain. He sat up, a big grin on his face. It didn’t even hurt when he swung his legs over the side of the bed. 

“I haven’t heard from you in a while,” she pouted over the phone. 

“I’ve been…” Roy held his side. “I’ve been really busy.” 

“You’re always busy,” she continued to pout. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too.” He stood up, swinging his legs under him and using his momentum to stand up. Even if his spirit was lightened, his body harshly reminded him of his mortality. A light grump escaped as he fell back onto the bed, laying back to straighten his body. 

“What was that?”

His eyes squeezed tight as he fought the easy tears. “Nothing,” he lied. After all, who would love him if he had moments of uselessness? He had to bite the bullet and try to not only sound okay but come up with an excuse why he couldn’t see her. The greater temptation was to tell her he’d see her soon and climb out his window. He’d end up on the ground probably in more pain under more self-destruction. Roy would gladly take the pain, take the bombardment of threats from his family, just to feel her under his fingers again, however it wasn’t physically possible without him being entirely vulnerable. He wanted her in so many ways, and yet his ego prevented him from telling her. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, he thought. He could curl up with her, smell her, and… 

Shelby became obviously worried when he didn’t come down for dinner. Instead, he sulked in his room. He couldn’t see the love of his life because he was what? Egotistical? He wanted more than anything to see her while he was in the hospital, so what if she saw him like this now? His dark eyes stared at the ceiling. She’d worry. She’d freak out that he was hurt. She’d be upset. Roy frowned. She’d be angry. He couldn’t have her be angry at him. 

The next day was spent more downstairs and on the couch. It was time for him to go to work. As much as it pained him to sit for very long, he at least was getting paid for not doing anything strenuous. At home, he was reduced to a slacker laying on the couch reading a romance book Sheska gave him about werewolves… and vampires… He wasn’t sure. His mind was on Riza. 

“I’m going to the store,” Catherine called from behind him. “Do you want anything?” 

He raised his hand and waved over the back of the couch. “I’m fine,” he grumped. 

Her steps were light as they came over to the arm of the couch and looked down on him. “Don’t forget your medication,” Catherine said kindly as her fingers brushed through his hair. “We don’t want our hero to get more hurt.” 

“Don’t encourage him,” Taylor called as he heard her put on her coat. “He already thinks he’s spoiled here.” 

Roy rolled his eyes. He’d get up once they were gone and swallow down his meds with a beer. Then he could pass out and forget his loneliness. “I won’t,” he agreed shallowly. 

The quiet was nice. With a deep breath, Roy closed his eyes and rested the book on his chest. A nap wouldn't hurt. Maybe he could call Riza and ask her how she was. Maybe he'd feel better if he just knew she was waiting to see him. 

“You don’t need to be playing hero,” a course voice reminded him from behind in the kitchen area. 

“I promise to take it easy. I am sorry for worrying you.” If there wasn’t the impending disappointment of his girlfriend, there was the current disappointment of his aunt. 

As soon as he could convince the doctors, he was back at work. If he could stretch himself out, Roy was convinced that he could see Riza sooner. Her fingers over his scar would heal it, he was sure. He limped into work, telling himself firmly that he’d stay at his desk and get as much paperwork done as he could. _Or just sit here and get paid,_ he joked. The only real obligation he’d have is to attend physical therapy that morning, and authorize fifty thousand round’s release for sharpshooter training. He could milk this. 

“You know, this is a workman’s comp injury. Staying home and getting paid is better than being here, hunched over on your desk, groaning like an old man.” 

“Go away, Hughes.”

“How am I supposed to show you photos of my wife if I’m not here!” 

Roy grumbled again. Maybe staying home was safer after all. 

“I promise it will make you feel better.” 

“It will make me feel better when I can punch you again.” 

Maes waved his phone in front of him. “Look! Here she is cooking. You love her cooking!” 

“Lieutenant Major?”

Roy sat up, doing his best to stand straight despite the imaginary knife that stabbed him in the side. Maes slid off Roy’s desk to salute the Colonel in Roy’s doorway. 

His Colonel was a broad man, thick like a brick, and a thick mustache. His uniform was pristine, showing off all the metals he had earned like jewelry. However, both Roy and Maes knew the man was a softy. It was overcompensation for his heart. “Can’t you see that Major Mustang is trying to sleep here?”

Maes quickly threw Roy a salute. “I’m out of here, you’re on your own.” 

The Colonel only chuckled though and crossed his arms in the doorway. “It looks like we are moving those dates for the Briggs training next month. I’ve sent information to Lieutenant Falman, but unless you want to be in the barracks, you better get with him.”

“No problem, Sir.” 

His Colonel patted the doorway before turning around but decided he wasn’t done talking and swung back into the doorway. “Oh! I also wanted to ask how you were doing?”

“How I am doing?”

“Check up on you.” The Colonel clarified. “I have a report on my desk that says that you decided to be part of bar brawl.” 

Roy fumbled with his words. “That’s not exactly…” 

“Are you telling me that you let them beat up on you?”

Roy shook his head. “No, Sir, I was trying to defend..” 

“Defend your girlfriend?”

“Sisters,” he muttered quietly. 

“I can’t have you going to Briggs in this condition. I know that these wounds don’t heal overnight. You’re a fantastic officer and I want you around. That means that you can’t be playing hero for your sisters.” 

Roy nodded. 

“I have your PT charts. You’re making some great headway. Don’t strain yourself. You have a long way to go. I don’t need you hurting yourself further.” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

In truth, the winter made him achy on top of his injury. Winter was weather time. The cold runs made him sore without the reinjury, it made him eat ibuprofen like candy now. He was going to severe mountain/winter training just ten months from being shot. It did make him worry. His hand reached up to hold the scar as he looked out the empty doorway. It wasn’t like him to back out of anything, so he’d be going to Briggs. _Wait! I wonder if Riza would like to go?_ He could spend some time with her on his off time. Roy smiled. He would really like that.

* * *

Against the arguments of Catherine and Shelby, Roy had met Riza on campus in the light snow. The snow-covered the grass in an opaque white with little yellow and green leaves poking up through it. Maybe by morning, the snow would have fully covered it all, just enough to make it pretty, but not enough to stay in the winter sun that morning. His hand pressed against his side as he exited his car. _I should have brought some meds,_ he looked in his car regretfully. _It’ll go away once I stop moving again._ He stepped carefully along the sidewalk, letting the snowmelt as it came to rested on his black hair. The coffee inside would warm him, and the light music would be a break away from the mundane of the Monday. Roy hopped lightly up onto the curb, checking the street for cars before strolling casually across the road. 

It was a dimly lit, generic college coffee house. He wasn’t too cold, and the house wasn’t too warm. He quickly noticed Riza by her bright blonde hair, sitting near the center with her head down. The music was low, a stage with a guitarist who was getting ready to play was brightening up. Sadly, the room was louder than he expected with the talking of friends. _Why are there so many people here,_ he grumped. _Stupid music Mondays._ Roy leaned on the counter, letting his eyes rest on the studying Riza rather than the room. She was wearing a sweater, one that was slightly too big that made him frown. Her coat hung on the back of her chair. It may have been rather comfortable for her, but he wished the sweater was a bit tighter so he could see her form. Her pants were straight-legged khakis that he’s seen her in before. With chin perched in her palm, she didn’t seem to be paying any attention to her surroundings either. She didn’t even know he was there. She wasn’t looking at her watch to see if he was late, nor did her brown eyes scan the room for him. Whatever she was reading must have been either important or interesting. 

“Here’s your order, Sir.” 

Roy turned to pick up his original clay fired mug from the counter. The caramel-cinnamon latte was a winter special, and because he was in a coffee-house, he might as well indulge in the culture than order just a plain black as he liked it. His lips took a feathered sip and he nodded as it wasn’t as bad as he thought it’d be. The debate was to sit in the back and watch her, but that was a bit more creepy than he meant it to be. 

“Hey,” he greeted as he pulled back a seat next to her. 

Riza looked up at him, surprised for a second before shutting her book. “Sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I was getting wrapped up in my book!” 

He glanced over to see it was a study of behavior book of some kind. It wasn’t something that he was entirely too interested in. He wasn’t there to talk about her studies. “Interesting hang out you have here.” 

Her mug was bright orange with red and yellow speckles of glaze. She nodded slowly as she sipped her latte. He could only assume it was her caramel latte. Maybe she got the special too? “I come here sometimes. I should be at home. It’s not like Sheska is there.” 

“No?” Roy leaned on the table so that he could hear her better. 

“She’s at the library,” she grinned with a chuckle. “She said she was in a group study.” 

Roy snorted. “A group meaning more than one book?” 

She laughed, lightening up the room. “No, she has a group project for her sociology class. Though I imagine that she’ll stay late as she does.” 

The guitarist said something in the mic but Roy didn’t look his way like Riza did. He was set on how her fingers brushed the mug, feeling the unevenness of it. Her finger flicked at a bubble in the glaze before stopping like a sigh and rested under it. 

“Do you like music Mondays,” he asked, drinking his own coffee. 

She shrugged. “I try to come down.” The room had quietened for the show, however, he still leaned close to him to talk. “It’s a break from studying and classes.” 

“I was hoping I was the break,” he snorted. 

“You’re an activity in itself,” she nudged him with a raised eyebrow of suggestion. 

Roy grinned. He let his hand venture across the table to grasp hers as he took in a deep breath. The cafe was meaningless. All of it; the music, the people, and even his coffee, was just background noise as he lost himself in her gentle smile. His skin prickled excitedly as he thought about leaving there to find themselves elsewhere. Her hand squeezed his in return and he watched as her attention was pulled back to the music. With one hand in his palm, her other hand occupied itself with the mug. He’d forgotten about his until that moment. He took a drink of it, relishing the short sensory of a cinnamon roll that it tasted like as he tried to look casual. His heart begged him nonetheless to glance back at her in hopes to see her smile, to see her brown eyes flicker back at him, or to watch her curl a stray golden hair behind her ear. 

Two weeks apart had been too long. 

Yet they were necessary. What would he have done if she would have seen him like that? Roy’s blood turned hot. _She could have kissed me better._ His leg shook for a second as he thought about her lips on his side. Wasn’t that what he wanted all along? His mind went back to when he was laying in the hospital with a hole in his side. How he wanted her lips on his side then. Why was he so seclusive about it now? _You can’t keep this from her,_ his conscious told him. _Just tell her._ Roy felt her hand tighten around his. _Because you’re not invincible._

His stomach tightened as his hand wrapped around hers. He glanced back at her. Riza noticed because she smiled back towards him. “I love you,” he said, leaning closer to her. 

“I love you too.” 

Roy bit his lip, jumping his chair close to hers. “I have something I need to tell you,” he said. He had spent too long trying to hide his injury. His hand drifted to his side but when he opened his mouth, the song ended and the room erupted into applause. Even he couldn’t hear himself speak. Riza turned from him, letting go of his hand to applaud as well. Roy sighed as he turned and clapped his hands slowly. It needed to be said. He needed to tell her. It was only a matter of time before he was hurt again. _No matter how better I feel._ He rolled his eyes in the back of his head. _And it’s not going to not hurt when …._

Riza turned back to him, smiling brightly. This time a guy slapped her shoulder with the back of his hand. “Hey,” he called out. 

Riza turned, standing up quickly as half hugged a gentleman. Roy raised his eyebrow, resisting his own urge to stand up. Instead, he held himself in the seat, putting his arm on the back of her chair and watched. “Roy, this is Gerald. He’s in my behaviors class. Gerald, this is my boyfriend, Roy.” 

Roy waved casually as Gerald did the same. “I’m glad you’re getting out,” he said loudly to Riza. Roy noticed how she smiled at him. He tilted his head and squinted his eyes as he analyzed the two of them. He patted her shoulder, she chuckled. And her smile wasn’t overwhelming or over eccentric. It was just a smile. He could see it. She was smiling a hello. He could have guessed they worked well together in the class because Gerald leaned to the side on his hip, bending a leg. The taller, lanky, older man was comfortable around her to stay and talk. He had no emotional attachment to Roy’s girlfriend because he didn’t lean close. Then, the thing that made Roy snort a laugh as himself. There was a glint of silver on the man’s left ring finger. 

“Sorry,” Riza said as she sat down with a grin. “He doesn't get to go out very much.” 

He nodded understandingly and took a drink of his coffee. “It’s good to see you’re so popular.” 

She waved him off. “I’m not here to see all of my classmates. I’m here to see you.” 

His cheeks grew warm and Roy leaned back in his seat, chest out in pride. 

If she noticed it or not, she didn’t say anything. “Anyway. What were you going to tell me?" 

Roy opened his mouth again, looking around. There was another guitarist taking the stand. “Can we go somewhere else?” 

She stood up, taking a last large drink of her coffee. “I was about to ask you the same thing. It’s hard to talk in this place.” Her book went into her bag, and Roy held her coat as she slipped her arms in the sleeves. Against her protests, he threw her backpack over his own shoulder and they ventured out into the cold. She adjusted a scarf around her neck, pulling it close to her face and fished out a pair of gloves from her pocket. Roy didn’t need anything. The walk wasn’t that far. 

The chilled air captured their breaths as it lifted into the air in a smokey puff. “I never remember snow when we were kids.” She looked up and into the white clouded sky as they walked. 

Roy frowned. Riza was right. It rarely, if ever snowed in the East where they were from. It rained. The torrential downpours would flood areas and the rivers would run high and fast. There were times they were out in the rain, floating paper boats down wavering streams. “Do you like the snow since being here?” 

She nodded, lifting her nose from her scarf. “I do. It’s really magical when it gets falling.” 

“And there’s nothing better than a warm cup of cocoa,” his fingers weaved between hers as the hold became intimate. 

“I’ve never tried, but I hear that it makes it more magical when cuddling under a blanket too.” She raised her eyebrow with her own sarcasm. 

“Oh,” he chuckled. “Those were the best stormy nights of my teenage years.” He let go of her hand as he looked up at the pale sky. A smile curled between his lips as he looked sideways towards Riza. “I’d imagine it’s better now.” 

“Oh?” She put her hands in her pockets and took a few steps forward before turning around. “And why would it be better today?” 

His breath was hot in the cold air, a thick white plume dissipating as it escaped his mouth. He didn’t answer right away. Riza watched him patiently, tilting her head as he tried to find the words which romanticized his heart. “Because I can do this.” He stepped close to her, pulling her up to him and into a tight embrace. He arched his back, lifting her into the air as they both laughed. He felt her pat his shoulder and her laugh in his ear. As he set her down, his hand cupped her jaw and his lips pressed against hers roughly. Saying it’d been two weeks too long was an understatement. His fingers ached for her, craving the warmth of her skin. His lips begged for her like an addict to drugs. As her hands grasped onto his jacket, thoughts rushed through his head of pressing her against the building behind her and letting them get more heated. He wanted to hear his name, wanted to feel her breath against his cheek as he kissed along her jaw. 

“Roy,” she breathed heavily as they parted. “It’s kind of cold to be making out here.” 

He looked around. “Should we go into one of the buildings?” 

“You’re hilarious.” Her hand grasped his again. “But you were always the troublemaker between the two of us.” 

“What,” he gasped, holding his chest as if he was offended. “Don’t even start on that. I was bailing your ass out when we first met.” 

“Oh, you thought you were? But I had everything under control.” She took a few steps ahead of him and pulled her hat tighter over her ears. “You jumped in and got your own ass beat.” 

Roy leaned over and swooped up some snow, forming a small snowball. 

“Starting trouble from day one.” 

“Here’s trouble for ya,” he laughed as he gently threw a snowball at her. It hit her shoulder with a light splat and Riza turned. It was her time to look offended. 

“Did you just throw….” 

Roy leaned over to scoop up more snow. “You said I’m the one to cause trouble.” 

Riza took a few steps back to grab enough snow for her own ammo. Though they’d never had a snowball fight before, she was remarkably good. He stepped to the side, only to have a ball bounce off his thigh. His snowballs were easily avoided as she ducked and stepped to the side. “It’s not fair,” he called out to her. 

“Why,” she called back. “Because a girl is kicking your ass?” 

Roy tossed the snowball to the side and ran up onto her. She squealed as she turned to avoid him in vain. However, when Roy grabbed her, his foot landed on the wet grass. With the unstable weight and Riza laughing, he fell onto the ground. His shoulder pained as he landed on the backpack, however, what was worse was his side. His body felt a shockwave spur through his body and it clenched. He wanted to laugh. He really did. But his eyes were shut tight and his lungs fought for air as his scar ravaged his nerves. He opened an eye and looked up to see stray hair tenting over him, her brown eyes full of joy, only to see her frown and tilt her head to the side. It would have been something of a romantic movie scene if he could breathe. If he could manage to lift his hands to her face and pull her down to meet his lips against hers. He would be able to remember the moment with a snowy scene, a chilly atmosphere with a burning love for one another. Yet, it was not. 

“Are you okay?” 

He nodded, smiling with an apparent grimace. “Just got the breath knocked out of me.” He flinched internally. _Could have said something then._ Riza stood up and stepped off him as Roy rolled over, on his side and took a deep breath. It felt as if someone had a hand drill and was going to town on his scar. He held onto it tightly, his stomach so tight he felt sick. He struggled to keep his eyes open, and to dilute the scene, he chuckled without a cough. He rolled back onto his back, glancing at her and she fell onto the snow. He felt weak. He felt as if he was something less of a man from a simple fall. _She wouldn't understand,_ he told himself. _But if you would have told her, she wouldn't be falling with you in the snow. Then again, she'd also be hovering over you right now, berating you for such playfulness._ He knew it too. _Would that really be that bad?_ Roy imagined her lips on his side. She could see her holding a bag of ice against him as she told him how ridiculous he was. Out of all the women in his life, he wouldn’t mind her telling him to be careful. 

"You're such a baby," he heard her tease. 

He grumped and sat up, slipping again. _She wouldn’t be saying that if she knew._

She reached down to help him up. Roy was half tempted to pull her back down but waved her offer off as he rolled over to stand up himself. The thought now of even having her under him as their lips tangled in a dance was painful. What was worse was with each snap of raging nerves, he wanted to tell her. He wanted to unhide his vulnerability and expose himself to her. The reason why he was gone two weeks, and the reason why he cringes, was due to internal damage of a bullet. He dusted the wet snow from his clothes as she waited for him. Her hand reached out to his as she smiled at him. “For a troublemaker, you play a good game.” 

“You’re just being a good sport,” he snarked back. “That’s your way of telling me I’m a good loser.” 

“You are,” she laughed. 

Roy grabbed her hand and stepped in line with her. “Well, because I’m a good sport, I will continue to walk you home. But don’t expect anything else.” 

She pouted. “But I’m all cold.” 

Each step brought a needle of pain that shot from his scar to his stomach, and into his chest. And with each step, it waned off. 

“I do think we shouldn’t go two weeks without seeing each other again,” she commented out of the dark, their hands swaying gently between them. “You were really busy at work.” 

“Yeah,” he coughed. “About that,” he mumbled. He felt like there was lead in his stomach. He needed her there for him next time. “Work wasn’t keeping me -” 

Riza stepped across the threshold as her phone rang loudly in her pocket. “Oh! It’s Maria!” She turned to Roy, “One moment.” 

He went to object but quietened when she answered it. He followed her to the elevator, watching her nod her head and agree with the person on the other end. He put his hands in his pockets and waited his turn. The elevator’s light binged as it descended to their level. “That’s expected,” Riza said. “I know. I know.” She turned to Roy, lifting a finger. “Can I call you back in the morning?” The elevator doors opened. “I’m not busy, per se. Roy’s with me.” Her ass in her pants moved perfectly, swaying enticingly as she walked from him. “We’re not! What about Denny?” Her head tilted to the side as she let out an exasperated sigh. Since the park, the idea of slamming her against the wall and kissing her till her knees were weak, so weak that she’d be holding onto him for support, amused him. It amused his whole body. He’d press himself against her to not only feel her breath mix with his but her heartbeat against his chest. “Maria…”

He sighed and followed her on the elevator. But she was going to have to do something about it. He took his hands out of his pockets and as the doors closed he pressed his girlfriend against the wall of the elevator. “Hang up,” he mouthed. 

“Maria, I really got to go…” 

Roy grabbed the phone and pressed “end” as he put his hand by her head. She went to object but he would have none of it. He needed her attention. His body needed her body’s attention. There was only a mere second wasted as he kissed her, his lips tackling hers. Riza’s head hit the back of the elevator wall and she moaned into him. He counted the bings as the elevator rose to her floor, while he sucked on her bottom lips, swiping his tongue along it playfully. Her hands scratched his sides and grasped his shirt, begging to be closer. They’d be closer. _As soon as we are through her door, we will be closer._ He’d pick her up and toss her on her bed, mount himself over her. 

As the bell rang for her floor, he was sure to part their lips slowly, luring her from the wall and towards him. They stood there for a second, Riza coming to consciousness before she led him coolly to her room. He could feel the sweat on her hand as she held his, and see her breath grow uneven as she unlocked the door. If anyone was playing it cool, it was him. He unzipped his jacket, walking through the door and looking around. True to her word, Sheska wasn’t home. She looked over her shoulder as she took her jacket off, blushing as she hung it up. He followed suit, though refused to let his gaze wander from her dark brown eyes. He could see the passion, the desire that she held. She hung up her scarf and in that next second, he grabbed her. 

Roy’s hand reached around her, their mouths crashing together, moans and all erupting in the room. He pulled her up, lifting her by her thighs, feeling her legs wrap tightly around his waist. However, the groan was less of pleasure and more of pain. The tightening of his abs ripped in pain. Two steps and he dropped the two of them onto the bed. She laughed, making Roy grin widely. He pounced on top of her, feeling his side protest with the rough contact of the bed. He groaned again, doing his best to hide the flinch. Riza’s hands grabbed him too quickly as she pulled him down to her. The kisses were not enough. Each kiss, sloppy with uncoordinated demand of each other, was only a taste of the next one. He flexed, arched his back, as he pulled her legs apart and brought her close to him. Rubbing his hard erection against her groin made her gasp and whine. 

“Fuck,” he groaned. It could have been construed that she was driving him mad. She was. No doubt she was. But his whole body was flaring in pain. Roy buried his nose in the crook of her neck. His hands gripped the sheets, his body reacting nearly on autopilot, refusing to acknowledge the pain it was in. He continued to thrust against her. Even if she allowed him to reach into his wallet for the silver plastic-wrapped condom, his body wouldn’t be able to perform. The thought of her on top of him, or sitting in his lap nearly made him cringe. The longer he sat there, smelling her delicious scent in her neck, the more he realized he needed ibuprofen or something to help with the pain. “Riza,” he groaned louder. 

“Roy,” she breathed. 

He sat up, feeling her tightening her hold on his shirt. The way her fingers scraped along his scar was instantly responded with his hand over hers. “Riza,” he breathed. “ I have… I have to..” 

She sobered as she relaxed on the bed. She wasn’t thinking anything but sex. She thought he was needing something further. And although Roy desired their bodies tangled under the covers, that wasn’t what he was saying his chest heaved and he looked down at her. Her whole body was open to touch. His finger dropped from hers on her side and fell lightly onto her stomach. 

What he needed were painkillers. Then he’d talk himself into making her scream his name.“

Her fingers tugged on his shirt as she smiled subjectively. She couldn’t see the scar now. It was probably red and a bit swollen. She didn’t even know it existed! The anxiety and pain made him want to puke. He couldn’t take his shirt off. Not yet. 

"I-” 

The door swung open and Roy looked over his shoulder to see Sheska walk in and freeze in the doorway. 

“You can put a sock on the door handle,” she screamed out, hiding her eyes. 

“Sheska!” Riza fumbled under him to get up. “What are you doing?”

“Coming back to my dorm!” 

Roy let her up, holding his side as he sat sideways on her bed. “This is awkward,” he mumbled. 

“Oh,” Riza covered her face in embarrassment. “Like you haven’t read worse.” 

“I don’t read about others walking in on their dorm mate making out on her bed!” 

Roy stood up and raised his hands. “Let’s keep it down.” 

“You need to keep _it_ down,” Sheska choked out. 

Roy put his hand over his groin and huffed. “We’re sorry,” he replied quickly. 

“There are rules to this,” she continued. 

“I’m going to leave,” he chuckled. He grabbed his jacket from the wall and waved at Riza. “Have fun.” 

“Roy,” she called, grabbing her jacket. She brushed past her roommate and followed him into the hall. He put his coat on and stopped in the hall. "I'm sorry." 

"I…" he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away from her. In pain and now blue-balled, Roy just wanted to go punch a wall and eat a bottle of painkillers. How could he explain to her that it was all right in all the wrong ways? That kind of intimacy was addicting and he craved it. He wanted nothing more but to feel her body under his finger and taste her lips on his. But standing stoic was more painful than it was worth. Once he got outside, he'd find a quiet place like his car to collapse. Once home, Roy knew he'd go right to bed, playing everything off as fine in front of his sisters and aunt so they didn’t give him a big, “I told you so.”

“You should be apologizing to me,” Sheska called from within the room. 

Roy looked sympathetically to her door. He wanted to stay. He wanted to take her away, take her to his place, to a hotel, to wherever she’d go so they could finish what they started. But the thought of it sent another bolt of hot pain through his body. “It’s okay,” he assured her quietly. “We can finish this later.” 

Riza grabbed his shirt and brought him down to her level for another kiss. Roy could feel how their lips glided across one another, how tenderly they pressed with a suction of needing desire. They parted with hot breath mingling. “I hope it’s not another two weeks before that.” 

Roy shook his head as he locked sight with her. “Actually,” he whispered. “I’m being sent up North.” 

Riza’s eyes grew before she frowned. “What does that mean?” 

“For training,” he quickly clarified. “There are some drills and such I have to be part of.” His hand petted her arm. “It’s over the birthday of this country. You should go with me. You’ll have that week off anyway, and there will be a lot to do.” 

Riza bit her lip, contemplating, as she continued to not break eye contact. 

“I’ll be gone a day, maybe two. I’m in a hotel, which means we won’t be in the barracks. But, on my time off, I’d really like to spend it with you.” 

She stopped, looking puzzled as she contemplated his request. It was too long of a pause that Roy sat on the edge of his proverbial seat. Riza nodded, slowly, smiling as she came to agree with it. “I think I’d really like that.” 

He grinned, bending down to kiss her again. “Let me call you tomorrow.” _I need to go home and take an ice bath._

Several kisses later, Roy found himself against the wall of the elevator, holding his side with a loud groan. He only had a few floors to go before he had to save face again and stand up straight. Till then, Roy allowed himself to swear and groan. He should have told her. He should have stopped her from going inside and just told her. _"Look, I was shot and I'm in a lot of pain."_ It would, and should, have been easy. _"I know it's hard to hear, but I was shot on duty. I'm still healing."_ He was a coward. He didn't tell her. _It's not like I didn't try,_ he argued with himself. _It was the world that kept stopping you._ Roy stood up straight as the doors to the lobby opened. He wanted her hand on his scar, not his hand. He wanted to cuddle up to her, not his pillow. But, it'd have to wait. Shed notice it once his shirt came off, then what? 

Roy sat in his car with a heavy breath, looking out his windshield at the white landscape before him. She was going with him to North City though. He grinned. They were going to share a hotel room, visit all the sights, maybe even…. Roy started his car. Hurt side or not, it was going to be a wonderful trip for the both of them. He’d make sure of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's a couple of weeks late. I decided to redo most of it. I hope that it's as good as you were hoping. Chapter 10 is going to need some work, so you'll have to be patient until then. Send me a comment and let me know how I'm doing! I feed off comments like my dog on salmon jerky. Thank you for reading and being a reader. Until next time.


	10. First trip, just us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy and Riza head North! Roy has some training to do, while Riza enjoys her personal adventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, a big thank you to Rando29! He's a super beta! Most of this fine work is because of him!

The trees and rolling hills grew as they drove North. It was a longer drive than she expected, however, he made it easy to enjoy. In his white collared shirt and black slacks, he looked too professional for what she’d always known him to be. He’d gotten a haircut, bringing his hair out of his eyes and Riza couldn’t decide if she liked it or not. There was a sense of playful and mysterious nature when his dark eyes met hers behind the black hair. If it wasn’t for his joking grin, she’d assume that he was a dangerous man, being too handsome and mysterious not to lust over. He was. Her hair would stand on end and her conscience would scream to run when he’d only hold her hand, let alone the subtle and chaste kisses that left her soul reaching for his. Yet her fingers tangled with his without fear. As uncertain the future was, she wanted it to be with him. With her last memories of the North looming, Riza held his hand, hoping that he’d be the difference she believed in. 

The mountains were giants; guardians of the city. She instantly was rushed with memories of gift shops and fancy dinners, and a picturesque cabin. In January, however, the scene was quite the opposite. Mounds of snow grew taller as they entered the city while the towering spruce and pine were coated in a soft covering of snow. Heat escaped from vents on the side of buildings, and locals were bundled heavily as they walked by casually, as if the cold didn’t bother them in the least bit. She pulled her jacket tighter around her as she thought about it. Riza was from the desert country. This kind of cold struck an instinctual fear in her. Her imagination concocted horrors of her fingers and toes freezing, her body shivering with the lack of coverings, and the inability to warm even with a hot cup of tea or coffee. 

The hotel was nice but was not as she expected. “It’s the military,” he said as he rolled his eyes, getting their bags from his trunk. “Cheap ass bastards. Thankfully I’m in a hotel and not the barracks.” 

She looked around as she watched her breath escape in a white vapor. 

“I hope you’ll still enjoy it.” He handed the valet the keys and waved her in. “Let’s get settled in.” He looked excited, eager even to get inside as his hand reached out for hers. However, he didn’t seem as cold as she was. Nor did he seem as apprehensive as she did. His demeanor was that of his military persona; strong, focused, and confident. He didn’t waiver for a moment.

Her hands remained glued to his as her eyes continued to explore her new surroundings. “I've been to the North before with Tyler,” she admitted. “But we didn’t stay in a hotel.”

She watched as he looked back at her, trying to read deeper into her confession. “Well,” he finally declared. “I hope that you still enjoy yourself.” 

She nodded, desperately hiding her anxiety. Her body and mind fought viciously with one screaming for her to run and avoid an awkward situation that threatened their relationship, while the other begged her to stay and trust that he wasn’t bringing her there to make a point like Tyler did. 

The counter was solid wood, dark with a polish. An older lady and a man of middle-age stood behind the desk, greeting them with genuine smiles. “Good evening,” the lady welcomed. “Can I have your last name?”

“Mustang,” he replied. His deep voice declared it, probably as he had for the last four years. “Major Mustang,” he repeated but with his title. 

_ Now he’d just showing off,  _ she smirked as his antics. He always was one for making a bigger deal out of something that wasn’t. 

“Welcome to the Frontier Hotel,” she nodded. “I just need a credit card for incidentals, Major Mustang.” He provided them as he looked back to her. 

He leaned with one arm against the counter. “Pretty, huh? It’s one of the older hotels here. You can see it in the architecture.” He pointed to the fireplace in the lobby. It closely resembled the fireplace in the cabin. “If you look at the ceiling, you can see the wooden trim. There used to be a wall there. If you walk to the back of the fireplace you can see that the stone type is the same, but different color. It came from a different mine.” 

“Major Mustang, we do have you for five nights, a single bed, on a lower floor?”

Roy turned his attention to the receptionist. “Can I get a higher view? This is Riza’s first time in this hotel, I want her to enjoy the view.” 

“Of course.” 

Riza leaned over to him. “A single bed? How romantic.” She’d been looking forward to this moment in all honesty. She was more excited to spend time in one bed with Roy than she ever had with Tyler.  _ Because you know Roy, _ she told herself. Did she though? They’d been dating roughly the same time that her and Tyler had. Maybe she was eager to have Roy back in her life. Certainly, their relationship has escalated quite faster than her’s and Tyler’s. Suddenly, she wasn’t afraid to share a bed with him. She wasn’t afraid of the prospect of sex. This cold climate encouraged shared warmth and a tiny bit of her shivered with excitement at the prospect of falling asleep to his heart beat’s rhythm. Maybe Tyler was right in a sense.  _ I’ve been waiting too long for Roy, I didn’t give anyone else a chance.  _

He laughed lightly. “Should I order more pillows,” he joked. “We can make a pillow fort.” Of course, he’d make some kind of childish humor with her. Maybe he sensed her anxiety as this scene was different from others. They were alone, on a trip, outside their normal make-out areas. Maybe he was anxious as well. 

“Maybe,” she smirked. She didn’t need to put up walls just because they were in North City and she had bad memories. She needed to relax and allow herself to have a good time. She trusted him to do so. 

“Maybe we should get two beds so you don’t have to smell me after work.” He leaned close to her. 

“I will be a good girlfriend and put up with your stinky ass.” Truth was she loved the way he smelled after work.

Roy laughed, accepting the keys to the room. “You’ll be happy to know that I will only stink for a day.” 

The room was quaint. She could tell it was an affordable room because it was simple, but they did have a view of the mountains which was nice. The bed was king-sized. The lady at the desk must have given her a bigger bed as a treat to the couple or as a courtesy to make a pillow fort to sleep in. She watched as he got out his blue uniform, laying it out on the bed. He’d done all this before. His actions were automatic, practiced, and for a moment it seemed that he was unaware of her in the room. He then set about hanging his clothes up. 

His uniform was crisp and clean with a golden fourragere and medals of valor. She’d have to ask about those later. He had a hat, a formal one of the Central kind, and a wool one with the Central icon on it. A heavy coat was hung up alongside it all and his boots, polished and clean, stood under the uniform. It was a still frame waiting to be painted. 

“Do you need to hang anything up?”

She quickly shook her head. 

“Are you nervous about all this?”

She shook her head as she tested the bed before sitting on it. “We’ve napped together. We just never have spent this kind of time together. Ever” 

“Riza,” he walked close to her, reaching for her hands. She let him. “I love you. We’re here to just have a good time. Don’t worry about it, okay?” 

She couldn't help but blush. Their heavy make-out sessions and half of a handjob later, and she still thought about how awkward it was to be alone with him.  _ Damn it, Tyler. _ He ruined this kind of alone time for her. There was a lingering sense of dependency or vulnerability that flickered dangerously in her stomach. Yet, she continued to urge herself to trust Roy.  _ He’s not like Tyler, _ Riza told herself for the hundredth time. She honestly wanted this. She craved it. Riza wanted him. She wanted what it used to be between them. She wanted more.

Roy leaned forward, his lips brushing hers. “Riza, Sweetheart, you drive me insane.” She felt her legs weaken with the way his breath blew over her dry lips. Her hands moved without orders to his sides, begging him to step forward. “I’m going to enjoy this time with you,” he breathed. Their lips connected and Riza pressed forward to meet him with excitement. His shirt was soft in her fingers. Her entire body tensed with the anticipation of the rush he gave her. Even her toes flexed inward and her back stiffened. 

He withdrew, both of them taking a deep breath. He affectionately rubbed his nose against hers. “Now, we can order in, watch a movie, and make out. Or we can go down to this tiny place in town and you can have the best caribou stew that you can ever imagine.” 

Her heart screamed for the former. She wanted to sit in his lap, feel his hands up her back. Her neck cried out for his lip’s attention. “Caribou stew it is.” But she couldn’t just give into her own desires. And the way his eyes smiled when he mentioned the stew gave her an inkling that he really wanted to take her to this place. They could make out later. 

He grinned, slapping her ass playfully. “Come on, I’m hungry!” 

The air was as brisk as she expected. Her hands were covered by thin gloves which he eagerly took within his. He was warm to the touch, assertive as he walked, and tender as he talked. He seemingly knew where he was going. She watched as his head pivoted back and forth, chewing on the corner of his lip as if he was lost. Then, a growing grin emerged. “Bingo,” he celebrated. 

“Major Mustang,” A light voice called from behind them. 

Roy turned for them to see a trio of officers strolling by. She didn’t know who they were and raised an eyebrow as Roy stepped forward to offer a handshake. “Good evening, Lieutenant Austin, Lieutenant Cristi.” He turned to the one in a white coat. “How are you, Captain Everett.” Are you all ready for this week?”

“We are,” the one Lieutenant nodded. 

“Who’s the lady?” The Captain asked. “I thought we told you that you can come but you have to not steal our women this year.” 

Though she didn’t think it was a joke, Roy laughed as if it was. “This is my girlfriend, Riza.” 

They all held out their hands to greet her. “On the other hand, you are welcome up anytime if you bring pretty Central ladies with you.” His voice was deep, heavily accented, and his light blue eyes reminded her of ice. 

One of the Lieutenants put his hands in his pockets as he asked, “So are they letting you overnight with us?”

Roy raised his eyebrow. “I’m leading the Eastern Brigade with Colonel Fairbanks.” 

“There was talk that you were going to manage instructions from the fort with your injury.” 

Riza tilted her head. He never told her he was hurt. 

Roy turned to her, pointing inside. “There’s no reason for you to stay in the cold while we talk. Grab us a table. I’ll be right in.” 

_ Odd,  _ she thought as she started walking away.  _ I mean, it’s odd to send me away. But what injury were they talking about? I wonder if it’s his knee or something.  _ She couldn’t help but watch him out the window. His arms were crossed.  _ He’s uncomfortable talking about the subject. Aren’t they a lower rank than him?  _ He had leaned back posture.  _ He’s not assertive. Is he unsure of himself?  _ She could tell from the window which she sat next to that his brows frowned roughly, his jaw tightly shut.  _ He’s obviously angry or at least upset.  _ One of the Lieutenants and then the Captain talked with their hands. He nodded a few times before shaking their hands again and they parted.  _ This is odd, right?  _

“Sorry about that,” he coughed as he walked in and sat across from her in the booth. 

“Something to worry about?” She opened the menu and looked through it though the nerves on the back of her neck warned her about something weird. 

“No. Nothing at all.” He pulled his menu from behind the spice rack and removed his jacket. 

“Didn’t seem like it,” she muttered. 

“Hm?”

Riza lifted her head to see him looking curiously at her. 

“I mean, it seemed like you were worried.” 

“Naw,” he snorted as he looked back at the menu. “I just need to call my Lieutenant Colonel and make sure that my role in this hasn’t changed. I didn’t come prepared for that.” 

“Will it change our plans?” 

He shook his head. He looked like he was hiding something. She could see it by his avoidance to her eyes. “No, if anything, I will be there less. It’s no big deal.” Roy looked up from his menu with a big grin. “I recommend the stew,” he whispered with a wink. 

She looked through the menu, seeing hearty foods, foods that would warm her in any winter storm. A large woman casually strolled up to the table, greeting as if they were family. “How are ya,” she greeted in a heavy accent of Drachma. “All you military boys come prancing in here. I do love this time of year.” 

Riza couldn’t help but watch as Roy grinned at the flirt. He liked the attention. They both ordered a coffee and a stew, watching the waitress smile once more before leaving. He turned back to her, holding his coffee in his hands as his smirk slid to a stop. “So, Tyler brought you up here?” 

She shrugged, sipping her tea. “It was fun.” She looked out the window with a light laugh. “He wanted to see a bear.” 

Roy chuckled. “He knows those things eat you right?”

“Obviously we didn’t see one,” Riza snarked as she leaned over her mug. 

Roy laughed loudly. “Obviously.” After a light sip of his coffee and he leaned back in his seat. 

The food arrived, piping hot and smelling rich. This is just what they needed. 

“What are you going to do while I’m gone,” he asked, changing the topic with another sip of his coffee. 

“Sleep in, watch movies, run your hotel bill up,” she joked with a mischievous grin. 

His spoon brought a large potato to his mouth. “I suppose that is what I’d do on vacation, so that's fair.” He scratched his cheek as he chewed happily. “There are some things to do around here in the winter. There was a carnival of some sort this time of year that I saw on an ad in the room.” 

“I saw that too,” she admitted. “I will figure something out. How long will you be gone?”

“Tomorrow? Probably eight hours.” 

“All day?” She cried out. “I thought you said it’d be a couple hours.”

“It is,” he nodded as if he had not indicated less. “The day after I will be gone overnight. Hopefully, it’s just that one night. We'll find out then.” 

Riza forehead frowned, wrinkles forming above her nose between her eyebrows. She wasn’t expecting this. “So, I’m up here with you, but you aren’t here?”

He laughed, now moving to lean over the table. “I’ll be here. Just enjoy yourself. Sleep in. Order room service, watch every movie on the list.” He chuckled. “The military is paying for most of it. If you need something, let me know.” 

Together they adventured a short walk around town, helping Riza figure out what she was going to do later. As they strolled through the front doors of the hotel, it’d been a long day for both of them, and the early retirement to bed was welcomed. Roy had to leave at five in the morning to be at the base before six. He did specify that he only had to be there for eight hours, so he'd be back shortly after lunch. He made a wisecrack about sleep deprivation is the frosting on the military experience cake.. 

She gathered her night clothes, preparing to go to the bathroom. She noticed how all his clothes were neatly folded as he looked through them for his pajamas. She had a t-shirt and fleece pants to match for her pajamas. Roy had grabbed a baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts.  _ We’re adults here,  _ she reminded herself humorously.  _ He’s not going to make a big deal about this.  _ Because it was a big deal. This was different from his bedroom. There was a bigger bed, softer sheets, and more of a welcoming environment. She slipped into the bathroom to change, hoping he would change out there. Hoping more than he’d be half-dressed when she came out. 

Riza had never seen him without a shirt. She’d felt most of him, even in the heat of some passionate kisses, through his shirt. If she got her way now, it’d be to see him shirtless with all his muscle displayed for her to drool over. When she did come out of the bathroom, he had already changed and was folding his pants to put over his bag. The TV was on, the volume low, to the weather channel. “I didn’t think you were old enough to enjoy this channel,” she joked. As he leaned over to see it, she saw how baggy his t-shirt was on him. It fit loosely compared to other shirts that she’d seen him in.  _ It must be a shirt he only uses for sleeping,  _ she guessed. She’d imagined him sleeping without it so many times, it was disappointing to see him with it now. 

“I’m watching the forecast tomorrow.” He turned back to his organization. He was so organized and so clean. She’s never guessed it from his childhood. She remembered very vividly his room being par for the course in a teenager’s room. For her side of the dorms to be spotless of personality, he was dull in his OCD about folding his clothes. “Can you lay on this side,” he pointed. “Then I can cuddle you. I don’t sleep well on my other side.” 

It wasn’t like she cared. The sheets were incredibly soft, with the comforter thick and plush. She’d assume it was down by the lightweight of it. She snuggled quickly, pulling her pillow against her and she yawned. The bed bent without sound next to her and she felt him move around. The TV was switched off and the end table lamp followed. She felt a weight on her side as his head scooted towards her. Hot breath against the back of her head with one of his heavy sighs and his body shifted closer to her. Riza felt too relaxed. There was no other way to put it. Memories rushed from just weeks ago to when they were younger. She fit right into him. His warmth surrounded her, his breathing soothed her, and touch melted her stress from his fingers outward.  _ I’m going to make him get a bigger bed.  _ She scooted back, feeling her back press into his chest. The space between them tightened and his arm wrapping tighter around her. 

She didn’t wake when he got up, nor when he got in and out of the shower. It wasn’t until when he sat on the bed to put his boots on that she rolled over to see him. “Good morning,” he greeted warmly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

She muttered a hello and yawned. He was a sight to behold. Either her sleepy state was similar to being intoxicated or he was downright illegal in that uniform. Her whole body felt hot and it took quite a bit of self-control not to reach up and grab him for a wet kiss. Because one kiss would lead to two, then four, and then she’d be making him late. 

He stood, straightening his collar. “How do I look?”

Riza hummed her approval. She resisted licking her lips. 

Roy laughed, walking softly towards her side of the bed. He brushed stray golden locks from her face and kissed her lips softly. “I’ll be back later. Sleep in.” He kissed her again, their lips slipping as he receded. “Whatever you get for breakfast, charge to the room.” He kissed her a third time, spoiling her. Her eyes closed and their noses brushed as he stood up. 

_ If only you could feel how fast my heart is pumping, _ she thought madly. Just because she was a virgin, didn’t mean she didn’t get aroused. Her waiting was driving her into a brick wall. That wall had him and his uniform plastered all over it. She watched out of a tired eye as he left, shutting the door quietly. She was going to sleep in, alright. Then she was going to order a giant plate of pancakes and bacon and eat it in her underwear while watching cartoons. The image even made her laugh. Too bad he wasn’t going to be there to do it with her.

* * *

Riza wished the uniform didn’t have to come off when he got back. Granted, she also wished that she didn’t have to get dressed either. There was great spoilage going on and she wasn’t about to ruin the moment. “Pancakes, huh,” he chuckled as he unbuttoned his blue uniform. But she wasn’t listening to him. She was too busy watching his finger undo the buttons to open his uniform. “I hope you left room for dinner.”

First, though, they went to the events being held in honor of the country. They mostly walked around, looking at the games and the events going on. “Fireworks,” Roy pointed to a sign. “We should come back.” She would like that. There was nothing more romantic than fireworks. She weaved her fingers between his, smiling up at him. He was being romantic indeed. Her head fell on his shoulder as they stopped to look at a few of the carnival games. She noticed how soft his features were. It was as if they were on vacation and he had nothing else going on. She wouldn’t have even guessed that he hadn't had to go to work today. “I love you,” he said softly, as they wandered out of the fair and into the town. There’d never been a more truthful statement that day. 

“I love you too, “she whispered back. 

The scarf around her neck sat loosely. Even though it was cold with snow on the ground, the sun was warm on her face. There was always a drifting smell of wood smoke, and the restaurants smelled rich fatty foods the culture thrived on. The sidewalks were thick with people, Roy saying it was the surrounding towns in for the celebrations. The slight chill upon her nose didn’t deter her in the least from enjoying herself. It didn’t matter where they went, or what they did. In fact, the more time she held his hand, giggled at silly things like ornaments in windows or the feeling of his lips on her cheek, the more she wanted to just curl up to him under that down blanket. She wanted him. Oh, how she wanted him. Riza’s body ached for his touches under the covers. Friendship had grown between them, far quicker than she had imagined it would. They were not who they were when they were children. She should have loved him, let him love her. They should have made that connection, vowed themselves together. She should have married him. 

_ There will always be a ‘what if’ but that road wouldn’t have led here.  _

They entered a little candy shop that advertised the best hot cocoa in North City. The walk had been mostly silent, having an intimate effect on both of them. The warm shop prompted her to undo her scarf as they stood in line, and she looked around as the feeling in her nose returned. There were gummies, licorice, jelly beans, and even sugary covered sour balls. There was a wall of jawbreakers, fudge behind glass, lemon bars and rich cake. “This is a bank for diabetes,” she whispered to him. 

“Do you want something other than cocoa?” He looked around, his eyes glowing at the sugary confectionaries. He looked just as bewildered as she did. There were a few children already with their hands full of sweet treats, sliding from one end of the shop to the next. They never had this in their hometown. Not even in East City. 

“No,” she declined. 

“Fudge?” 

She looked over and nodded toward a lemon bar. “I guess a lemon bar.” 

There was a tall man next to them, bent over to hear a girl’s decision on her piece of fudge. As she watched, Roy leaned over to her. “I am so in love with you,” he whispered, his hand squeezing hers tightly. “You are so perfect. I can’t believe you haven’t been stolen by some other man. Marry me before you find me lesser than that man there.” He nodded toward the taller man. 

Riza snorted at his compliment. He had been adoring her the whole day. She couldn’t say that she wasn’t enjoying it, but he was being very cuddly. “I can’t marry him,” she joked back. “He’s much too tall for me.” She knew he was being serious, even though he chuckled, kissing her ear and turning back to the register to order them a warm drink.  _ How many times are you going to say no? Why won’t you say yes if this is what you have always regretted? _

The day was gone. Riza couldn’t describe how fast it disappeared. She quickly suspected it was because she was enjoying the given time with him. Their kisses were so casual, so ordinary, she had to wonder if it was how married couples felt. For only a couple months of being together officially, his hand felt natural in hers, and she could not find him any more attractive. His hand held hers and was tucked into his coat pocket. She curled her hand into a loose fist, and put his around hers to keep it warm. The day disappeared before her eyes. 

The fireworks were going to start at eight, and she wanted to be able to see them. People from town filtered around the carnival area, wrapped up in heavy coats, fur-lined flap hats, and thick scarves. They were not dressed so. Even with the warm tea in her hands, the chill was brutal. She just wasn’t used to this kind of intrusive cold. She wasn’t even sure how long she was going to be able to stand still to watch the bright colors light up the sky. 

“Maybe we should watch them from the hotel,” she shivered. 

“Here,” he said as he handed her his tea. 

Riza took it, looking curiously at his latest antic. He unzipped his jacket and stepped forward to pull her into his inner jacket. “Rawr,” he said jokingly as his arms ‘swallowed’ her. 

“Roy,” she laughed. “You’re going to get cold!” 

She felt how close he was holding her, wrapping his jacket as tight around them as comfortability allowed. His heartbeat against his chest, his head on her shoulder. “Not if you give me some tea.” 

Riza laughed as she tipped his tea back over her shoulder, lifting it to his lips so he could get a sip. “You are absolutely ridiculous,” she giggled. 

“Possibly,” he whispered in her ear. It made her shiver for so many different reasons. 

Before she could answer, an explosion broke the moment and the sky illuminated in the brightest colors. She didn’t want him to go tomorrow. It made her chest tight just thinking about it. The cruel truth was quick to remind her what she never wanted to be reminded of.  _ He’s not yours, he’s the military’s.  _ Roy was only on rent to her. This was something that she agreed to, even if it was a silent agreement. The ground under their frozen toes rumbled with each explosion, shock waves vibrating through her body. The addition to his arms tightly wrapped around him and his hot breath on her cheek, the moment felt surreal. Three months ago, did she really know happiness compared to this moment now?

Back at the hotel, she wiggled her toes to warm them. She disappeared to the shower to warm her body and Roy watched his weather channel. It wasn’t for the first time in her life that she ever dreamed anyone was in the shower with her. Riza never wanted his hold around her to disappear, naked or not. Yet she was immediately reluctant to even ask for him to come and join her. She still shied away from being naked next to him, even if it was an innocent act of touches and kisses. Maybe Tyler was right, she had too many walls up to enjoy herself. Maybe it had always been about Roy. Then why was Roy not in the shower with her? What stopped her from being with him?

Riza pulled back the covers on her side and slipped in. Roy had already shut his eyes, breathing evenly. His arm pulled the blanket up to her chin though, telling her that he was not asleep as she thought he was. His arms pulled her in, her nose hitting his sternum as she heard him hum. A question then intruded on the peace of sleep and she looked up to his relaxed face. He was subtly smiling, his arm a heavyweight upon her.  _ I wonder if he sleeps so heavily because he knows he’s safe. Or maybe it’s because I’m here….  _ Nevertheless, a familiar fear had surfaced. “Roy,” she whispered. Riza didn’t want to wake him if he was already asleep. From what he had told her, he was going to be out with the troops in the snow. He probably needed as much sleep as he could. However, the lead in her stomach and the tight pain in her chest forced her to say his name. “Roy?”

“Hm?” He sounded half-awake, maybe a quarter awake. 

Her hand gripped his shirt tightly as she stared into his chest. Her arm which was under his pillow flexed anxiously. “Could you get hurt tomorrow? Like… could you die?” She whispered her fear into the darkness, almost wishing that it hadn’t been said. 

“Hmm.”

She shifted as she wanted to look at his face better. His calm, even contentful, expression had turned hard and he frowned. There was no doubt he was thinking of how to answer her. “Please don’t sugar coat it for me.” 

“Then yes,” he answered dryly. 

“Could you get shot?”

He chuckled, pulling her closer. “Maybe. But I’m not. Don’t worry about it.” His hold around her tightened and he groaned. 

“Aren’t you afraid?”

He grumped. “No.” He pulled half back on his end to look down at her, his eyebrow raised and opened eyes. “Is this something we need to talk about?”

She shook her head slowly. She didn’t want to keep him up, and if he wasn’t worried, then she shouldn’t be either. Tomorrow night would be lonely. She’d gotten too used to him already. But when he did come back, she promised herself to spend a long morning in bed, letting him hold her, letting him make her feel safe. He had always made her feel so safe. 

* * *

The only thing that remained of him was his bag when she awoke. The room was silent. Riza picked up a note on her end of the end table, investigating it with her dreary eyes.  _ “I’m off. See you tomorrow night. Eat pancakes for me too.” _ She smiled putting it back down and looked around. There was no reason for her to be up. She immediately fell back into bed and closed her eyes. Maybe she’d sleep long enough that he’d return. 

Riza would have spent most of the time eating room service food and watching movies like Roy had suggested, except as she was getting ready, she noticed a pamphlet about the spa. “Sold,” she grinned. “And charged to the room,” she laughed. There was a serious question as to if the military paid for spa treatments for girlfriends.  _ If not, it was Roy’s bad for leaving me here unattended.  _ She was determined not to feel guilty about going down and spending a couple hours being pampered. Even though she’d sworn to have the day to  _ herself _ , she still couldn’t rid her thoughts of  _ him _ . In a matter of months, she had become so attached, so emotionally addicted. 

_ Maybe it’s because it’s too good to be true,  _ she reasoned as she felt the masseuse’s hands dig into her lower back. The spa was warm compared to the outside. A soothing zen music played softly in the background, and she could hear the trickling of a fountain too. It was hard not to let herself find reasons to stay there all day. However, he was still going to plague her.  _ He loves and adores you. And God knows that you love him. You have loved him for too long.  _ She closed her eyes as the fingers slipped up her oiled back. 

“May I ask where this scar came from,” the masseuse asked quietly. “I’ve never seen one like it.” 

Riza chuckled. It’s become so much a part of her, she didn’t even think about it. It wasn’t something she wallowed in. Her father was an asshole, and there was never anything she could have done about it. “I backed into a pan and spilled oil on me,” she replied. “It doesn’t hurt,” she moaned with a new pressure on her shoulder.  _ My insecurities probably stem from him,  _ she grumped to herself.  _ And watching my best friend leave….  _ It was the truth she had hid from herself for so long, it hurt to hear herself think it.  _ He’s back,  _ she had to remind herself.  _ He’s back, and he’s making a point to love you. There is nothing wrong with that.  _

* * *

Her adventures were short and meaningless without him to hold her hand. The once independent woman that she was known to be was now subject to loneliness. She found a little bookstore, instantly thinking of Sheska. They had books on North City history, Drachman culture, and stories of men and women who have won over the environment's cruel humor. The store was cozy, with a fireplace in the corner, and the smell of old books lingering. It was the best place to get lost in a story. She ordered a calm cup of tea and huddled herself in the corner to read about local lore. Two more books next to her would find their ways into the bookworm’s greedy little literalistic fingers. Her fingers turned the page, the tea steeping on her knee, as she lazily read through the pages. It wasn’t that it wasn’t a dull read, but more that she was left alone in a city that she didn’t know. 

“Wait,” she gasped, her head snapping up. “That means he’s not here to stop me!” Riza smiled as she grabbed the other two books and marched up to the counter. “What’s the craziest thing one must experience up here?”

The lady with short brown hair and pointy nose blinked a few times. “Have you ever been snowmobiling?”

However, when Riza got back to the hotel, the concierge at the hotel frowned when Riza brought it up. “We are full today,” she sighed. “If you’re looking for a night adventure, there is an Aurora tour at 10 pm till 2 am.” 

That was a bit cold for her taste, but it was something crazy. She could do a snowmachining tour in the dark,  _ and the cold,  _ to see the aurora that the North was famous for. 

“It’s by dogsled. It’s not as fast-paced at the snowmachine, and quite the cultural experience.” She typed into the computer before smiling. “It looks like seeing it is a good possibility.” The lady behind the desk smiled. “And they do provide gear if you don’t have any.” 

Riza was already not a fan of the cold, but this was a great experience opportunity. Her mind rushed with the idea that not very many people ever saw the Aurora from the back of a dog sled. It excited her, her heart picking up with excitement. She didn’t have any other obligations. Why not do the crazy thing? “How much is that one?”

The concierge clicked a few times on her computer. “It’s 7,000 cenz.” 

_ Ouch.  _ That’s going to be digging deep into her savings.  _ “Charge everything to the room.” _ She’d already done the massage and pedicure. She’d be taking advantage of his hospitality by charging something like that to the room. However,  _ he did leave me alone without supervision.  _ “Can you charge that to the room,” she inquired nervously. 

“Of course! Would you like to confirm that for tonight? They will pick you up at nine tonight in the lobby.” 

_ I guess I will find out what his limit is. He’s never said no to me, and he never told me I couldn't spend a lot.  _ “Yeah,” she agreed.  _ If he gets angry, I will just pay for it out of my own pocket. I can just be thrifty for a few months.  _ It was a pretty big guilt that she wallowed in until nine.  _ I can’t imagine that he wanted me to just sit around for two days. Who does he think I am,  _ she tried to reason.  _ Maybe he will just sigh and tell me not to do that. Or will he freak out and yell at me like he did that soldier? Roy would never yell at me right?  _ Riza’s gut twisted and she gulped.  _ He wouldn’t do that, right? _

Her guilt and worries were left behind in the darkness only illuminated by the waving green ribbon above her. It was silent besides the sled runners whispering along the trail and the puffing breaths of the dogs. Wrapped in two thick blankets, in a thick jumper suit with boots that made her feet look twice as big, Riza forgot the frozen environment in the sled. It was a spiritual experience, unearthly, and surreal. The green swam in the black void above her, dancing up and down as it celebrated an heavenly life. A purple base rippled above it like a stone being thrown into a pond. The vibrant red under it grew brighter and brighter still.  _ If he doesn’t want to pay for this, I will be more than happy to pay for it. This is so worth it.  _ At first, she was in love with every single dog; now, she didn’t remember their names. She didn’t know where she was and it didn’t matter. She wasn’t in North City outskirts, she was on a sled under a dashing green, whipping back and forth. She could almost hear it, a static-like whisper above her. 

_ I wonder if he’s looking at the same lights?  _ She smiled, hoping that he was; hoping that at least they were being connected by the same phenomenal exhibition that stole her heart.

The next day she was far lazier than she should have been. Giving the dogs fish treats and love, and then never wanting to leave the waving green spectacle, made her out late.  _ It’s going to take me more than one cup of coffee to get me out of bed. I wonder if room service will bring it right to me?  _ She wasn’t that lazy though. She missed breakfast time because she decided to move slower, getting a late shower and watching morning cartoons as she brushed her teeth. The only reason why she didn’t order room service, to begin with, was her guilt for sleeping in so late. A vat of coffee later, she was off to find the perfect gift for Denny and Maria. 

Even then, she didn’t want to do anything but sleep. She made sure to get lunch while she was out, a large bowl of soup with a roll as big as the bowl, and wander through a museum. As much as she wanted to find something exciting today, she convinced herself the only thing that would beat last night was bungee jumping off a hot air balloon. That wasn’t ever going to happen this time of the year. And second, she wasn’t sure if that was something she actually would do. There were limits to her “do everything once” attitude. 

With two bags of gifts, she trudged back into the hotel room, greatly disappointed to not see him sleeping in the bed. He never gave her a time when he was going to return, if he was ever going to return.  _ What if he doesn’t,  _ her stomach tightened with her mind’s torture.  _ What if he does get hurt? Will anyone know I’m here to tell me?  _ She fell onto their recently made bed heavy with worry. The sun was going down. She needed to find dinner and was looking forward to curling up into the sheets.  _ I should order more pillows.  _ She looked at the TV. She should have found a hot tub. She was sure the hotel had one. For being an older establishment, it did have great accommodations and features. 

Shortly before ten, she was curled up with a full stomach with four additional pillows, under the heavy down blanket.  _ He is a Major,  _ Riza reminded herself with a yawn.  _ He probably had quite a few obligations.  _ Her hand ran through her blonde hair, getting it out of her face as she snuggled deeper into the bed.  _ Goal: Find a hot tub tomorrow.  _

* * *

She flinched awake when she felt the bed move, quickly turning to see who was climbing in with her. Roy smiled as he slowly laid down next to her. “Sorry,” he whispered, followed by a groan. 

He looked sore the way he was holding himself. He leaned to one side, his arm over his midsection, and bags under his eyes. He leaned over, hunched as he rolled into the bed, groaning. She instantly wondered how much he did to be limping home. They must have really worked him in that training. He leaned back onto the pillows, sighing, still holding his stomach. “Are you okay,” she asked as she turned to him. 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Just sore. I’m okay.” 

“How was it?” She turned over to face him, moving the pillows so that she could welcome him closer. 

“That was a workout. Major Miles can run in snowshoes! I did not know that we were going to be running in snowshoes” 

She giggled as he relaxed, rolling on his side to face her. 

“But there is nothing like coming home to you,” he breathed. 

_ There’s nothing like you coming home to me.  _ Because that’s what she wanted all along. 

* * *

If Riza thought that getting up was hard the day before, she’d never experienced Roy Mustang lazy. She rose from bed and even showered to still see him on his back, mouth open as he snored. That was nearly ten in the morning! She called and ordered another large pot of coffee, two Mountain Man breakfasts, (three pancakes, three eggs, three pieces of bacon, three sausage links, and seasoned breakfast potatoes). He was going to eat most of it. She just wanted two pancakes and two pieces of bacon. She turned the TV on low and sat on the bed next to him. He opened an eye at her, smiling tiredly. “Sorry,” he breathed before going back to sleep. Riza could not stop her hand even if she wanted to from running her fingers through his greasy hair. He hummed in his sleep, leaning his head towards her. The best part was Roy’s face went from sleep to pleasant sleep. A small smile snuck onto his lips, and his face relaxed as her finger-combed through his hair, pulling gently as they receded. Riza leaned back onto the pillows, watching cartoons as she pet Roy affectionately. She thought he deserved some love. 

He woke fully when breakfast did arrive. He yawned, stretching his neck as he lifted himself to see her. “Toss me a pancake,” he called from bed. 

Riza picked up a pancake with a mischievous smirk and flung it at him like a frisbee. 

Roy laughed as he caught it and put it in his mouth. “Thank you,” he muttered with his mouth full. “You can toss a piece of bacon too.” 

“You can get up and get bacon,” she snorted. 

His short hair stuck up everywhere and she noticed white drool residue trailing from his mouth. She watched as he slowly turned to put his feet on the floor with a soft groan. He was very sore. He limped to her with a yawn and held himself up by the desk chair, pancake hanging from his mouth, reaching for a slice of bacon. He worked so hard he was wearing himself down. Physically he was beaten. He wasn’t even thirty yet.  _ Maybe he just had a hard workout,  _ she excused.  _ If I had to run in snowshoes, I’d be beat too.  _

“So,” she said elongated. It was time to break the news to him.  _ If he’s limping, I think I can outrun him.  _ “I made a pretty big charge… two big charges, but one bigger one, to the room the day before yesterday.” 

“Okay,” he mumbled as he continued to chew on a syrup-less pancake. 

_ That’s it?  _ She blinked at him, wondering if he even heard what she was saying. “I went to the spa.” 

“Oh good,” he nodded. “I might go there today.” His fork reached over to steal one of her sausage links despite the fact that he still had two on his plate. “I need to call them and see if they have space.” He didn’t even flinch or look at her as if she was pushing his financial limit. 

“Then I took an Aurora tour by dogsled.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her as he looked out from the corner of his eye. 

_ There’s a flinch.  _

“Was it fun,” he asked as he turned to face her, not stopping as he chewed on his sausage link. 

She nodded. “Did you see them too?”

He nodded, grinning. “They were beautiful. I just kept thinking about you the whole time as I watched them.” 

Riza blushed, wrangling a stray hair behind her ear. 

“And you charged that to the room?”

She nodded. “I can pay for it,” she instantly offered. 

He shrugged. “I’m not worried about it,” he turned back to his breakfast, smothering the other two pancakes in syrup. “I’m happy that you got out.” 

_ Flinch gone.  _ “It was 7000 cenz.” 

He choked a bit as he started to laugh nervously. 

_ Flinch back.  _

“Then I’m  _ very  _ happy you enjoyed it.” 

_ Flinch gone.  _

It wasn’t brought up again. Though, it did continue to make her wonder who was actually paying for the bill. She knew he wasn’t that rich. However, he wasn’t out on the town buying her every knick-knack she looked at either. He’d allowed her to pick things out for herself. If it was just her, she might not have gone on the expensive trip. The spa was enough on its own. And Riza knew what the bill she had charged to the room was. Now he was considering going to the spa.  _ Maybe the military is picking up part of the tab,  _ she wondered, listening to him humming in the shower. If it wasn’t, it was a generous gift he had given her. She’d have to make sure to say thank you later. 

True to his word, he went down to the spa. Riza instead wanted to explore the hotel more. She found a gallery that she wandered through. Towards the end, she stopped in her tracks at a vivid picture of the Aurora. Never had Riza ever felt she needed anything. She wanted that picture. She stood looking at it, knowing that they had both seen them, that even far away they had watched the same colorful winding river flow above them.  _ It is something that connected us. _ She picked up the picture, looking at the copy, mesmerized by the details of the photo. Her blank wall would have one photo on it. Only one. But the one meant more than anything else she’d be able to find. This one she did not charge to the room. She smiled as she handed the cashier what she knew was too much money for the picture, and put it in a paper bag to protect it. She’d find a frame later. 

Riza then went on her personal mission to find the hot tub. At first, she thought that he’d join her, but he didn’t. And after an hour of sitting in it, she decided to get out and go find him. It’d been longer than it should have been for him to be at the spa. In their room, he was dressed but lying back on the bed, snoring again. She climbed onto the bed, hoping to surprise him. They hadn’t done any serious grinding for a while, but she knew he liked it. By the way he held her hips, and he’d bite his lip, she knew he did. Granted, she wouldn’t deny she didn’t like it either.  _ He deserves a bit of love,  _ she snickered to herself. And it wasn’t like it had to go past that. It wasn’t that she wanted to be a tease, but the fact that it was never a forced topic allowed the comfortability of her doing such playful actions. As she climbed up, he lifted his head, lifting himself up on his elbows. 

“Sorry,” he apologized again with a yawn. “That must have really drained… Oh?” She watched as he slowly grinned, reaching out for her legs as she climbed over his center mass. His head fell back as she looked down at him. Her hair curtained their faces from the outside world. Their lips pressed firmly against each other, slipping gently as she sucked lightly on his bottom lip. He smelled like cedar, probably from the lotion they used in the spa. He groaned, unashamedly, and she felt his hands tightly grip her thighs. It made her whine. He was making her whine. God, she wanted him. There wasn’t an excuse she could come up with. She had no more reasons not to continue past grinding. She loved him. It was as simple as that. As she pressed firmer against his lips, his hips lifted to meet hers. 

Riza’s whole body fell to meet his. It rushed with hormones screaming at her. She’d been incredibly turned on by him before, but now there was no turning back. Her body wouldn’t let her. She didn’t need an exit. She wanted to walk through the door with him. As her hips shifted to feel him hardening under her, his hands took advantage of their ability to explore her. Her skin prickled, shivering as his fingers glided down her sides. Up her back, down to her ass which he squeezed. “Don’t be afraid to tell me to stop,” he muttered against her lips. 

“Don’t stop,” she mumbled in return. 

She leaned back, sitting on his erection, looking down at him and his confident smirk. His eyes were radiant, his chest formed, and his abs flat. His t-shirt wasn’t as baggy and she could see the definition of his body. Her finger drifted from his collar bone down to his navel, feeling the solidness of Roy. It was too sexy, real, and she had him all to herself. Her and Maria, and even Denny, would make jokes about calendars with hot and buff men on them. She was sitting on one of those calendar models. “Too bad you’re not in your uniform,” she snickered.

“Oh,” he laughed. “I can put that on. You’d be surprised how fast I can put that on.” 

Riza leaned back as she laughed.  _ This isn’t weird. Why isn’t it weird? 90% of virgins would be so nervous with performance anxiety, and you are jumping into the pool.  _ She felt his hands run up her sweat pants, his thumbs running on the inside of her legs as they trailed to her hips. Maybe it was that there was no fear of his sister’s barging in on them, but her body felt like it was on fire. She bit her lip and she gasped through the small opening of her lips.  _ So much for being able to say stop.  _ He pulsed under her, against her, and it drove her mad.  _ Why did I wait so long for this?  _

His hands reached to her sides, his fingers slipping under her shirt. Another groan escaped him as his fingers felt her skin. It was the sexiest sound she’d ever heard from a man. “Roll your hips,” he ordered quietly, suggesting it. Riza curled a lock of hair behind her hair as she did as he asked. The response was not what she expected but one that encouraged her to do it again. Roy tilted his head back with that sexy groan and fell back onto the bed. “I change my mind,” he gasped. “Don’t do that.” It made her more aroused than before as she watched his chest heave. It happened before, but this time it felt more meaningful. 

He coughed with a dry throat as she watched his chest rise and fall in heavy gasps of air. “You’re making me too bad,” he warned. She giggled as she rolled against him again. “Ow,” he gasped sharply followed by, “Oh God.” Whatever the “ow” was from, it didn’t deter him from gasping loudly again. He had just come back from a two-day training trip. It would not surprise her in the least to know if he was sore in a spot or two. 

“Wanted this a bit too much?” she asked. She was curiously afraid of his answer. How far was too far for him? How much could he take? How much did he want?

He chuckled, his grip tightening on her hips. “It’s been a while. It kind of builds up.” 

“Oh?” She rolled her hips again, feeling his hands trying to stop her. 

“You’re going to ruin the fun too early,” he warned with a grunt. 

She’d never seen a man orgasm and she raised her eyebrow thinking about seeing Roy. He sat up, dropping her more onto his legs. Now she wasn’t riding him so much.  _ Smooth move,  _ she laughed to herself. His hands rushed under her shirt and up her back. 

“Please,” he begged quietly as he lowered her on the bed. 

Her lips crashed with his as he removed her shirt, only parting as the shirt flew from her head. She heard him moan very loudly as he pulled from her lips to admire her. It was more than obvious that he was more than satisfied with the view. He looked like it was the first time seeing a woman’s body. His eyes followed his fingers and they drifted down her body, exploring it as if he was feeling and memorizing a 3-D topographic map. It was soft, touching her like a delicate rose, afraid of ruining it. 

“Your turn,” she grinned at him, leaning back to run her finger down his shirt. “You have been dreaming about this, I’ve been dreaming about that.” She poked him in the abs. 

Roy reached over his head, grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt and pulling it over his head in one smooth swoop. “Gotta promise…” 

Riza’s eyes dropped down his bare chest, seeing each muscle category before landing forward to the large scar on his side. “What is that,” she asked, concerned as she leaned back. Her fingers traced over it, feeling the scarred tissue. This was nothing he had ever talked about or ever mentioned. The whole thing was a mystery to her and it was one he had neglected to tell her. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Roy disregarded, trying to pull her back into him. 

“Is that what hurt you?” Riza slid a little from him. It was coming to her. He’d hid all this from her. Not once was this ever mentioned. Her mind raced through all the flinches and bumps that she’d seen him flinch from. “Wait? Is this  _ the injury _ ? This is why you've been limping?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he continued to disregard her panicked tone. “Seriously, I’m fine.” 

_ He’s been hiding this from me,  _ she thought alarmingly. All the times he’d grunted and groaned… Going back to the first night when he bumped into that high table, he never told her that he was injured in one way or another. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Riza slid from him, scrambling out of his reach to stand up. Her stomach tightened, her breath constricted. Her breathing was now in fear and astonishment that he’d hide something like that. “What… When did this happen? 

“Riza,” he begged. He raised his hands, reaching out for her. But Riza swatted him away.

“Roy,” she demanded in a completely different tone.  _ And to think that this was perfect. Why didn’t he tell me? _

“When I was in the trenches.” His answer was plain and quick. “Can we talk about this later?”

“Roy!” 

“Riza,” he continued to beg softly. 

“Roy!” She said louder. She watched him fall back onto the bed with a loud frustrated grunt. His hands covered his face. If he dared to think that he was sexually frustrated, he had another thing coming. “Are you going to talk to me?” She towered over him at the edge of the bed, still staring at the scar. It didn’t look fresh, but it was distinctive. She could see where it’d been stitched together There were even two more scars from surgery next to it. “Is this why you got moved to Central?”

He sat up and scooted towards the end of the bet to face her. “Yes,” he quickly said. “Please don’t make a big deal out of this,” he begged. 

It only made her surge with more anger.  _ He's been hiding it from me.  _ “Why have you hidden this from me?” She felt hurt, betrayed by his deception. 

“Riza.”

“No, Roy! You have had so many chances to tell me, and I have even asked. You have been avoiding this hole in you the whole three months that we've dated!” 

“I tried to tell you.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and he dropped his head. “I didn’t want you to baby me. My whole family babies me. I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? You fucking lied to me.” Riza was doing her best to not yell at him. Her arms trembled as her neck tightened. 

“Riza,” he said her name again. “We were having such a good time. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. Just… I promise to tell you anything you want.” He was hunched over, reaching out to her, his eyes begging for forgiveness. 

“God,” she roared. Riza had never felt so mad before. “You lied to me. You hid this from me. I thought we could trust each other.” He stood up, reaching for her, but Riza stepped back.  _ I hate this fucking city.  _

“I didn’t mean to. I mean…” His face dropped as he felt the severity of the situation. He frowned, his shoulders fell in defeat and he sighed heavily. He let out a loud sigh from his nose.

“Bullshit,” she said firmly, pointing at him. Riza was doing her best to hold back the tears that were building in her eyes. Her chest was caving in and her stomach had tightened so much that she felt sick. She threw up her hands as she walked towards the bathroom before pacing back. “You could have easily told me so many times.” 

Roy must have had enough because his posture changed from defeated to standing straight and looking solidly towards her. “I tried!” He stepped towards her aggressively, dominating the space. She noticed it instantly. His military side was coming out after all. It took three months, but she was finally able to see him snap. “Maybe I wanted you to love me for me and not out of sympathy.” 

She scoffed loudly. “I’d love you out of sympathy? You’re a joke.” 

“That hurts,” he whispered. 

“What do you expect?” She threw her hand toward his scar. It did bother her. It sent shivers up her whole body. “You almost died. You almost didn’t come back to me,” she sobbed. Anger turned to tears and she bit her lip as she knew how close she had actually come to losing him. 

Roy reached out to her again. “But I’m here now. That was then. I’m not going anywhere.” He was trying to comfort her but Riza stepped back. She didn’t need comfort from the man who hid something like a bullet wound from her. 

“No,” she snapped at him. 

He sighed as he scratched the back of his head. “Maybe we just need to calm down and look at this a bit differently.” 

“How do you look at lying and hiding something from your girlfriend differently, Roy?”

He glared at her. She could see the hurt in his eyes. “I’m asking you to look at this logically. That’s all.” 

Riza aggressively rubbed her face as she started to pace. 

“What do you want me to do,” he asked softly as he looked at his feet. His hands fumbled with each other. “Do you want me to go get another room? Will that make this better?”

That really wasn’t what she wanted. As much as she wanted to scream yes, she did understand on some level to why he hid it from her. For two years in the dorm, she did the same about her back’s scar. On the other hand, she could remember all these signals he’d given her, and she’d asked, and he didn’t say anything to her. She bit her lip as she remembered him trying to tell her something just weeks before. But he never stopped and told her. He could have just said it.

“I don’t want this to end.” Roy took another step forward, reaching out to her once more. “I don’t want to lose you. Would you believe me if I told you that I fought so hard to come back to you?”

She wiped her eyes of the surge of tears that fell freely down her cheeks. 

“Whether you believe it or not, that's the truth.” His hand touched her arm, gently and carefully. “Everyone that ever found out about me getting shot treated me like I was… a charity case,” he whispered. 

_ Oh! Picking those words, are you?  _

“Even Maes insisted that I don’t hurt myself. My sisters barely let me do anything.” 

“How long has it been since this happened,” she asked quietly as her eyes drifted back to his scar. 

“Eleven months. It’s mostly healed. It’s just sore because the muscles are still healing.” He took another slow step towards her, but Riza couldn’t convince her legs to move back again. He sighed softly as his hands drifted up her arms. 

“When you fell, just a few weeks ago?”

“Oh,” he chuckled. “That hurt,” he smirked softly. “But I’m okay.” 

“You’re not okay,” she cried, more tears falling to the carpet of the hotel room.  _ You almost died.  _

Roy motioned to pull her into a hug but Riza took that step back her legs had insisted on. He bit his lip and looked towards the door. He turned back to the bed, grabbing the shirt on the ground and put it on. He moved to his bag, pulling out a real pair of pants. She watched as he dropped his sweats, putting his jeans on right in front of her. He looked up to see her staring at him. She was more in disbelief that he’d just do that in front of her. “What,” he asked sharply “I have nothing more to hide from you.” 

“Apparently not,” she glared dangerously back at him. 

Roy slipped his boots on in silence, tightening the laces before lifting his cell so that she could see it. “I’m leaving. Message or call me when you want to see me again.” He grabbed his jacket but stopped short as he reached for the door. “Or message me that you don’t and I will arrange transportation for you to get home.” He opened the door and she watched as he closed it behind him. 

Her sobs turned to cries as she collapsed on the ground where she stood.  _ Has this all been a lie? What have I done? What has he done? What the fuck? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Roy... what did you do!? Poor Riza has been dreading this day all along. Do you think that her reaction is spot on? Nonetheless, Roy is in the doghouse!!  
> Thank you for reading. It means a lot. Keeps me going!   
> I will be looking at chapter 11 as soon as possible, so hopefully, it will be out early next week. I'm working on a later chapter at the same time. There's a lot going on!   
> I hope everyone is well! See you next time!


	11. Just Talk to Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy and Riza start talking. But Riza wants some space to think about things, and it's killing Roy to not hear from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always... Thank you Rando for all your hard work and reading these chapters half a billion times to ensure greatness.

Roy shut the door behind him harder than he should have. He ran his hand through his messy black hair and started walking down the hall to the elevator. He wasn’t sure where he was going to go, but he couldn’t just sit in the lobby. He was tempted to just get another room. He figured it was over.  _ This is your damn fault, Roy. You can’t blame her.  _ And he didn’t. The lobby was half full of people checking in. His steps were soft as he made his way through the lobby, zipping up his jacket as he opened the door to the outside. 

The chill on his face was nothing compared to the ache in his side. He should have told her on the first day of what happened. He was so enthralled in her, he never thought of himself. All the other moments he tried, and either his ego fought him or the world did. As his steps grew heavy, he thought about her face dropping in her hands, heavy with tears. He could see it clearly. Her body hunched over, hands pressed against her skull as she cried.  _ Was it worth it,  _ he asked himself.  _ Just because you didn’t want her to baby you, you hurt her instead.  _

He shoved his hands in his pockets as his head dropped and his body lost its proud persona. He’d broken himself in half.  _ I wish I could say that I gave her everything, but I didn’t give her this,  _ he thought as he pressed his hand to his side. Quickly, Roy began to wonder what else he hadn’t told her. The ice crunched loudly under his boots as he stepped softly along the sidewalk. He kicked a larger piece of ice.  _ Maybe it’s best she won’t marry you,  _ he sighed. 

A child’s laughter broke his melancholy and Roy looked up to see two kids run from a store and past him, candy in hand. Their smiles were bright, happy, and they laughed freely. He remembered when they were once like that. They’d run from the school, book bags in hand while they ran to his aunt’s house to play. The times they stayed out too late at the park because she wanted the swing to go higher, or the times they were hiding in the covered slides because her father was on a warpath. That was one of his memories of kissing her. Roy’s frown grew as he remembered them playing on a merry-go-round. He got flung off, rolling with laughter into the wood chips. She ran to his side, asking if he was okay. He sat up and kissed her cheek. That was also the first time he told her that he loved her. She only pushed him down into the wood chips and he laughed. 

Roy’s eyes went towards the store to see it was the same one he proposed to her in. There was a young couple, like them, in it sharing a sweet kiss before eating their fudge and opening the door. His heart fell into a void of darkness and despair. She had told him no there too. Maybe she knew all along that this was going to happen. Maybe she knew he wasn’t really worth it.  _ I can’t get too discouraged,  _ he tried to remind himself.  _ She hasn’t called him and said that she doesn’t want me to come back.  _ But she hadn’t called him and asked him to come back either. He took a quick glance at his watch to see he’d only been gone for forty-five minutes. It hadn’t even been an hour; however, it felt like three. He wasn’t hungry, and the smells of the local bakery gave him little satisfaction. With a deep breath, he continued on, holding his phone in his hand in his pocket with hopes it’d ring soon. 

Roy did find a little diner he warmed up in. He ordered a decaf coffee, even though he felt as if he was going to be up longer than he wanted to be. It’d been an hour and a half now and no call or text from her saying anything. “I still have to get her home,” he muttered. He still had to do the responsible thing and make sure she got home one way or another. He would buy a train ticket and let her have the car. It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to not pay the bill either. Whatever per diem he got from the State that didn’t cover, he’d pay out of pocket. It wasn’t going to be a big deal.  _ I just want to make sure she’s okay. I need to make sure she is taken care of.  _

“Who are you wallowing over,” the thin woman with a deep gravelly voice asked. “You look like a man who’s even been kicked out of his own dog house.” 

“I look that bad, huh?” Roy chuckled. “Let’s just say that I kept a secret too long that she should have known from the start.” 

The lady laughed as she refilled his mug. “My second husband was like that. But you don’t look like the cheating type. Handsome like he was though.” 

He huffed a laugh and took a drink from his coffee. “I’m trying to determine the best way to get her home.” 

“You two here on vacation?” 

He shook his head. “I’m here for the military drills. She came along.” 

“Ah.” She nodded, knowing what was going on. “I’ve had four husbands,” she sighed. “Four of them. Do you want to know what happened with all of them?” 

Roy raised his eyebrow towards her, more annoyed that she was talking to him than giving him relationship advice. 

“The first two didn’t tell me that they wanted kids. I had two children with the first one, and one with the second husband. The third husband, well he didn’t tell me what he wanted in a woman and cheated on me. Twice.” She nodded slowly. “And my current husband keeps telling me that I should stop smoking. He’s the most honest one of them all.” 

Roy snorted. “It’s more complicated than that.” 

“Like what? What could you have done that my third husband didn’t do?” 

“I didn’t tell her….” Roy flinched as he looked into the dark coffee. “I didn’t tell her I got shot and she should have known.” 

“But you love her?” 

Roy nodded. 

“She loves you,” the lady giggled. “That’s why it hurts. She loves you.” The lady set her coffee pot on the counter. “So you didn’t talk to her before, you better do it now.” 

He shrugged, looking back at his coffee. It was useless now. However, he didn’t need to explain his whole life’s story to this old woman. He just wanted to sit quietly and figure out what he was going to do if she didn’t want him to come back to  _ their  _ room. If she did give him a chance, he’d tell her everything she wanted to know. It was never that he didn’t want to tell her. Roy wanted Riza to understand that. It was the nervousness of showing her his vulnerability. He wasn’t as strong, and invincible as he used to be. It hurt himself to even hear that he was mortal. How could she understand that?

The sunset, night had come, and the lights of the city illuminated the streets. The dark cold did not deter very many people. Heavier gloves and fur-trimmed hats emerged and the same smiling faces walked hand in hand down the sidewalk. Looking at his own gloved hand, he squeezed it tightly shut. It was empty without hers. His life was empty without her. It had been since he’d left. There wasn't anything else he could think of that he'd hidden from her. He couldn't be that bad of a boyfriend, right?

The phone in his pocket buzzed and he was quick to pull it out. Without looking into who it was, he swiped to see it was a text. 

**“Jean and I are having a BBQ with some friends tmrrw. Want to come?”**

It was Maes. He glared at it. Not only could he not attend, but he’d gotten excited over a text that wasn’t from Riza. 

Fuck the world, he just wanted to talk to her.  _ Maybe I could go back to the room, beg for her to listen to me.  _ Because that always worked. Riza was not a woman to be persuaded like that. She was determined and independent, just as her father raised her to be. Space between them gave them both time to think things over. He preferred it just so that he couldn’t see her cry while he was thinking. Roy rubbed his face.  _ But all I can do is imagine her crying!  _ He took a deep breath of the icy air.  _ Just let her call you.  _

With the cold seeping in, Roy meandered back to the hotel. He took a heavy seat in one of the chairs by the fireplace and pulled up a magazine. He’d just have to wait there. It’s been almost three hours. It was a long time to wait. In another hour he’d go and inquire about another room. Even if she messaged or called him after that, he had somewhere to go. The pages in the magazine were dull. There were two articles in three magazines that he was mildly interested in. He looked at his watch again, sighing. As he got ready to stand up, his phone buzzed in his pocket again. 

“If it’s you Maes…” But it wasn’t. He stared at it for a second longer, wondering how to even answer it.  _ Hello Riza? This is Roy? Hey?  _ “Hello,” he answered. 

“Hey,” she said on the other end. He could hear within her voice that she’d been crying with a light sniffle. It was coarse like she needed to clear her throat. 

“Riza,” he breathed into the phone. “Can we talk?” He looked towards the elevator in a faraway hope that she’d say yes. His heart needed to hear her say yes. 

The other end was quiet. It might have been for only a second, but it felt longer to him. His heart stopped and his mouth dried. “Yeah,” she whispered. 

“Just talk,” he reassured. “I just want to talk.” 

“Okay,” he heard her whisper. 

His stride was wide as he hurried to the elevator. He wanted to keep pushing the button to his floor as if that was going to make it go up any faster. Down the hall, he had to tell himself to walk. At the door, he knocked a quiet, timid knock. All of his training told him to keep command of the situation, to stay in control. But it couldn’t be with her. She was his weakness. When she opened the door, her red eyes made his heart stop. “I’m sorry,” he said, breath wavering. She had been crying for hours over him. He wasn’t sure what had convinced her to not tell him to get lost, but he’d be thankful nonetheless. 

Riza stepped to the side, brushing her bangs from her face. 

“Why did you call me,” he asked, feeling like a puppy that was let back inside after making a puddle on the floor. 

“Because we’re supposed to be a couple,” she said as she wiped her nose with a rag from the bathroom. “Because Tyler and I didn’t work because I shut that door too quickly.” 

It wasn’t what he was expecting. At all.

“I’m not done being mad at you,” she informed with a quiet, hoarse voice. “And I really don’t want you here.”

“Then why am I?” If she didn’t want him there, Roy felt that she had every right to make him stay somewhere else. 

“Because,” she sniffed. “I do want you here.” 

He nodded as she walked to her side of the bed. His toes flexed in his boots, nervous to the next few seconds.

“I want to go to bed.” 

He nodded, noticing for the first time she was already in her pajamas. He pulled his shirt over his head, showing his full front to her. Her eyes zoned on the large scar on his side. He looked down at it as he unbuttoned his pants. “It doesn’t hurt,” he informed her softly, but she didn’t reply back to him. Instead, her eyes dart back to his eyes, then to the scar. He tossed his shirt into a pile and took his pants off. He turned away from her as he pulled his pajama pants on. A shiver of remorse climbed through his body. He had fucked all of this up and now he had to decide how he was supposed to lay next to her. Roy looked at his sleeping shirt. Did it even matter if he wore it? It frustrated him. The scar on his side ached as it reminded him of their conflict. He grabbed his shirt, pulled it over his head, sheltering his scar from her. 

Once in bed, he settled on his back and she turned from him. He watched as her back tensed beside him. They laid there quietly, Roy unable to sleep, just staring at the ceiling. He wanted to talk about it. He needed resolution. Just because he was sleeping in the same bed with her didn’t mean anything other than he was in the same bed as her. “Don’t worry about the bill,” he said softly into the darkness. 

“I can cover the dog sled ride,”’ she answered curtly. 

“No,” he argued. “It’s not a problem, I insist.” He itched his chest as he sighed. “Did you want me to drive you home?” 

“Yes.” 

He nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “Can we please talk about this?” 

She rolled over, sitting up to look at him. He could see through the darkness that she was glaring at him.

“I want to stay up,” he insisted. “I promise I won’t keep anything else from you. Let’s just talk this out.” 

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I do want to talk,” she admitted. “But I don't want to hear your excuses.” 

“No excuses,” he insisted. Roy sat up and turned towards her. 

The pressure of the atmosphere grew and he swallowed nervously. 

“I was behind the lines,” he explained quietly. “That’s why you couldn’t get a hold of me. Where we were, we weren’t supposed to get help. We weren’t even supposed to be acknowledged. Our job was to find this support line and blow up the supplies. We were an explosives team. Then I was supposed to set fire to this forest to keep them from using it.” He ran his hand through his hair before pulling his legs into his chest. “We were bunked down in this irrigation ditch for the night. We were supposed to be safe. The guy next to me was watching and my friend, Jean, was off to the side watching the woods. He lit a cigarette and we think that they saw the red bud of his cigarette.” Roy rested his head on his arms which rested on his knees. “It happened so fast that we didn’t even have a chance.” 

“How did you get out?” For the first time, her voice held concern, inquiry of his story. 

“My Sergeant got on the radio and called for help. It was either a yes or no and if they didn't respond, we were on our own.”

She hummed and he felt her move in the dark. 

“I’m not going to go into details about it. They responded and we held off the enemy until they could get support and a helicopter into us.” 

“What if I want to know the details,” she asked. 

“It’s not something you want to hear. I didn’t even tell my family about it.” 

“What if I do want to hear it?” 

“Riza,” he breathed. He turned his head to see her serious next to him. “I…” Roy rubbed his face with a hand. It was something that made his chest hurt, that tightened in his gut. His mouth ran dry as he sighed out of it. “Jean got shot first. I dragged him back into the ditch. Two of my other men were shot shortly after. I jumped up as one guy got close to us and in the process of covering Jean, I got shot. It was far off, which probably saved me. But out of the twelve of us, five of us were shot.” He bit his lip, shutting his eyes tightly. “There was so much blood. I mean, you see blood anyway. Back at the line, I saw blood. I held a man’s chest until he stopped breathing. But,” his voice drifted. “I looked down at my side and no matter how hard I pressed, the bleeding wouldn’t stop. The man next to me was doing the same thing and the other few that was with us were too busy fighting them off. It got to the point that it was hand to hand at one moment. My vision was coming and going, fading while I fought a guy, trying to kill him before he could finish me off. I kept feeling my side warm, and my limbs cold.” He couldn’t help but shudder. “All I wanted to do was get to Jean. He had one go through his stomach. But I was too busy fighting.” 

Riza sat next to him with her mouth open and a hand over it. Her brown eyes were wide in shock. It probably wasn’t what she expected to hear, and maybe he did say too much. Silence enveloped the room. He pulled his knees into his chest to set his chin on his knees as he stared off into the darkness. After a few minutes, there seemed to be a revelation on her part. “Oh. Is that why you like medics?" She chewed on his lip as her gaze looked down into her lap where her fingers fumbled. 

He whispered, "Yes. Because the medics were good and got to me fast, they saved my life. I would have died otherwise. When I’m hard on the trainees, it’s because it matters." 

“Did anyone die?”

“We only had one death, believe it or not. Private Williamson.” 

She hummed in acknowledgment, but let the room grow quiet again. It was tense, a heavy boding feeling loomed over the two of them. The story wasn’t a light one. He didn’t want her to worry about him. He didn’t want her to fear for his life. He didn’t even want to hurt her. However, he had already decided never to lie to her again. She meant more to him than a lie. 

He coughed lightly. “It was really scary.” He reached out to her, grasping her hand softly. He felt her pull back from him but he held firm until she relaxed. He brought her hand to his left side, placing it on the scar. “No matter what did happen, I’m alive. And I did think about you, a lot. It’s not going to kill me. It’s a reminder that I lived.” He let go of her hand but it remained there. 

He could hear her breath, broken as she started to sniffle. “Then why did you hide it?”

“Why do you hide what your father did to you? It’s a long story that no one really wants to hear. And then everyone just feels sorry for you.” He felt her hand drift from his side. “Everyone coddles me like I’m going to hurt it so bad that I’ll die.” 

“Will you?”

“No,” he answered quickly. “I got into a fight at Chris’s bar and got hit really bad.” He chuckled nervously. “Really bad... And I’m still here.” 

She remained quiet on her side of the bed. He remained quiet with her, unsure of what she wanted to ask. It was quieter than when he was trying to sleep. The world around them slowed down and he wondered what she was thinking. He’d tell her anything if she’d just ask. This was the time he wanted to be open. He allowed himself to be open. 

“Don’t fight anyone anymore,” she finally whispered. 

“I won’t.” 

“And please don’t hide anything from me.” She quietly begged.

“I won’t,” he agreed quickly. “I promise.” 

The bed shifted as she laid back down, facing away from him. Roy watched her form settle under the blankets. He laid back down on his back, a hand under his head and the other over his stomach. The air continued to feel heavy, though he thought it’d lighten up after they talked. The indications and short conversation lead him to believe that she had no intentions of breaking up with him. Just because he felt that way didn’t mean anything. A tickle of fear lingered, keeping his eyes open. 

It was time for a bold move. Either he’d get elbowed in the face, or she’d allow him a smidgen of comfort. Roy rolled over to face her back, Slowly, timidly, and carefully, he reached out to put his hand on her hip. Then he scooted just a bit closer to feel her against him. The act was enough for him to at least close his eyes if he wasn't’ going to relax. She didn’t remove his hand, nor did she shy from him. So, he stayed close to her. Though the atmosphere did not lighten much, touching her calmed his inner torment. With a deep breath, he let himself surrender to sleep. 

* * *

Roy felt her move, which woke him up, however, he didn’t  _ get  _ up. He remained where he was, on his side, with his eyes closed. She moved around, packing her bag a bit before going into the bathroom and turning on the shower. He stayed where he was. There was no hurry that he was aware of. And she didn’t wake him to berate him about his cuddles either. His sleep felt unfulfilled and he grumped as he accepted how tired he was. Coffee was the only thing that would lure him from the bed. However, the little complimentary maker in the corner of the room would not provide the vast amount of coffee he needed. He also needed breakfast. While Riza was still in the shower, he rolled over and picked up the room phone. 

“Good Morning, Major Mustang,” the voice greeted. 

“Good Morning,” he groaned. “Can I order some coffee and breakfast?” He rolled onto his back to look at the bathroom door. 

“Of course. What can we get you today?” 

“Biggest serving of coffee you can give me. Eggs, bacon, one with pancakes, and a cream custard pastry. You know what, and let's get two cherry and cream pastries to go please.” 

“Will that be all?” She sounded sweet, like she was made for mornings. 

“Yeah,” he sighed. His mouth felt dry and he snapped it a few times. 

“It will be up in twenty minutes, Major Mustang. Please enjoy your morning.” 

He hung up the phone and rolled back over. The clock said it was just after nine. Check out was at eleven. They had a few moments. He’d like to get a shower too. Until then, he’d get the sleep he could. His eyes closed and he sighed loudly. He had a dreadful feeling that this morning was going to be long, and the drive longer. His gut told him the argument wasn’t over, and she was going to remain mad at him for some time, and rightfully so. 

The knocking on the door woke him up for the second time. He sat up, ready to jump out and get the door, but he saw Riza, wrapped in a towel, answer the door. “Thank you,” she said nicely as she accepted the tray. Roy wasn’t going to burden her with the heavy plate and immediately went to assist her. He grabbed the to go bag and turned to take the serving platter. “I got it,” she snapped at him. 

“I was just trying to-” 

“I know,” she cut him off curtly. “I got it.” Riza set it down on the writing desk and made her way back into the bathroom. He didn’t think about it at first, but that was the first time he’d only seen her in a towel like that. It wasn’t different from her having her pajamas on in some sense, however, a towel was a more intimate part of the relationship. He stood dumbly by the breakfast, looking at the door. The moment was over, no matter how much as his heart begged him to go and apologize. He could only hope that she’d initiate the conversation again and he could show her how much she meant to him. “Were you going to get a shower?” she called from the bathroom. 

“Yeah,” he called back, turning to eat a piece of bacon. “No rush,” he added. 

“Check out is at eleven. I wanted to be out of here by ten. We’re already running late.” 

“Do you have plans that you need to get back in time for?” He ate another piece of bacon. “I thought we’d stay in town for a while and see a few things.” 

“I saw a good part of it while you were gone. I just want to get home.” 

He nodded, taking the fork and stabbing a section of the eggs. “Do I not get a chance to make up for last night?”  _ Hopefully, she will just accept the pastry as a small peace offering at least. _

Riza opened the door, her hair pulled up in a towel. She was already dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that hugged her body. “I don’t know,” she said weakly. Her shoulders sagged and she looked away if but for a moment. He saw doubt and he hated it. Never did Riza ever doubt herself. 

“You know that I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

Riza sighed loudly. “It’s more that you are hurt. You kept this from me, and that’s what bothers me. You have secrets that I don’t know about.” 

“You can’t tell me that there aren’t secrets that you haven’t told me.”  _ Shut up before you start something,  _ his conscious screamed at him. 

“I don’t have any that are as monumental as a bullet wound. I don’t have any that almost killed me.” 

“You never told me why you and Tyler broke up,” he started. “You have kept that from me.”  _ You’re supposed to be making it up to her, Roy!  _

Riza snorted as she crossed her arms. “I told you he thought of me as a charity case. He thought I needed help.” 

“But that’s all?” 

No response. 

“What happened. You wanted my details, tell me yours.” 

Roy could see Riza really thinking about it. Her head was spinning around, deciphering what was what and where she needed to go from there. “We came up here and he rented this big cabin. We had separate rooms and I made it clear to him that I wasn’t just going to sleep with him.” She leaned against the door frame. “We went out to a nice dinner, had a really good time together. He’s really a sweet guy when it comes down to it. And I really was falling in love with him. He reminded me of you.” She looked up at him and he took instant notice of how dark her eyes were. “So we get back, and get to kissing, and I just felt that maybe we were going to stay together and that I wanted him like he wanted me.” 

“What did he do to you,” Roy asked slowly. 

“He didn’t do anything like that. He told me that it was nice seeing my walls down.” 

Roy understood now. She was afraid of being let down. She didn’t want to commit to something that wasn’t permanent. “ _ Whatever you did to her, she wasn’t sleeping with anyone _ .” He remembered Tyler telling him. He wondered what it had meant and now he understood. He had caused her this much anxiety by abandoning her.

“Maria told me it was fine just to have fun, to loosen up and enjoy myself and college life. But I was looking for something that Tyler filled for me. To hear him say that… it really hurt. We rode the train home together and then we just stopped talking.” She stood up, dropping the towel off her head and rubbing her hair with it. “I am the way I am and he couldn’t accept that.” 

_ He did love you for who you were,  _ Roy thought sadly.  _ He loved you for your walls. It was you that didn’t want to admit you had them.  _ It was a sad thought, but Roy felt it to be true. Guilt swelled in his chest to think that he had caused this. He erected these expectations and these walls around her. It was his fault.  _ “Cause I’m not you.”  _ Tyler had told him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered looking down at the carpet. 

Riza walked over and looked at the breakfast. “The shower is yours now.” 

He nodded, reaching out to her. His hand gently grasped her arm and he pulled her into his chest before she could protest. He wrapped his arms around her, protecting her, doing exactly what he’d always meant to do. He never wanted to hurt her and never wanted to make her cry. He wanted to be her wall so she didn’t need her own. Maybe the hug was more for him and his own insecurities. But after a second, her arms went out his waist too and they hugged. If it wasn’t for the time restrictions, Roy would have wanted to remain there and hold her.

She instead pulled from him and reached for his bacon. “You better go get in it now.” 

“Yeah,” he muttered before walking to the shower. “Do me a favor?” 

Riza turned and looked at him quite seriously. 

“Please call me when we get home.” 

She nodded once and turned back to the food. 

“The pastry is for you.” 

He watched her freeze, as if she didn’t expect him to remember. But Roy would remember. He’d always remember. He’d continue to remember everything about her until his last breath. 

* * *

Once they were packed, he was showered, he carried their bags down to the front desk to check out. It was somber between them, with only one or two words answering simple questions. She offered to pay for her excursions, and once more Roy declined and paid them. He didn’t make a big deal about it. He just handed the card over and signed the paper. He opened the door to their car, loaded the bags, and they started towards home. It was that simple. 

But to Roy, it was not simple. Since he had gotten out of the shower, she hadn’t said anything to him. And he didn’t say anything to her. It seemed to him that they both had said things that made each other open and unguarded, and neither wanted to expand on that. When he insisted on grabbing the luggage, he did notice her flinch to help him, but retracted herself and went about making sure she had everything from the room. 

He expected the ride to be quiet, and an hour into it, the car was quiet. If felt awkward, with both of them coming to realize what the trip had turned into. It was a realization to Roy what he had kept from his best friend. 

“Why are you still in the military if you got shot like that?” 

He raised his eyebrow and looked at her from the side of his eye. 

“They obviously betrayed you.” She didn’t look at him as she watched out her window. “They didn’t have to send a helicopter to get you. They sent you in to die, and yet you are still serving.” 

“Jean isn’t,” he whispered. “Maybe he was smarter.” 

“I don’t think it’s based on intelligence,” she scoffed, finally looking at him. 

Roy sighed through his nose, chewing on his lip. 

“Did you ever think you were going to get shot? Didn’t you fear that?”

“We knew what could happen,” he whispered again, not looking away from the road. “We were told it was going to happen, we’d be lucky if it didn’t.” 

“You were being sent in as fodder.” He could hear the emotion in her voice, hear how amazed she was that his answer was so easy. “Roy…” 

“I was confident. I was given training and given the resources that made me feel invincible.” 

“So you didn’t think you’d get shot?” 

“Not that time,” he said, admitting his nieve youthful mind. “It was scary,” came a whisper. “It was drowning. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I was still going to die. None of us believed that helicopter was going to come.” 

She nodded, looking back out the window. 

“They give me purpose,” Roy explained, dropping a hand from the wheel to turn the radio completely off. “Truth be told, Riza, I would die for the military. I swore to them I would. I’m there to make a difference.” 

“Difference is dying?” There wasn’t as much resentment in her voice as he expected. 

He nodded slowly, still understanding her view on it. 

“What would any of your ex-girlfriends say?”

He continued to chew on his lip. “That’s a question,” he chuckled. “Well, one would call me a dumbass. The other would baby me. And the third would be pretty indifferent.” 

“Seriously?” 

He grinned back at her. “I wouldn’t have told them either if that’s what you’re asking.” 

She chuckled, letting the air in the car lighten. 

“What do you need to hear?” Roy’s hand rested on top of hers. 

She didn’t answer so quickly. Her eyes darted from her lap to out the window, and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m just trying to rationalize all this.” Her brown eyes looked at him, as if she was trying to read his thoughts, concerned about his well being. You’d do all this again?”

He nodded slowly, tentatively. 

“Do you wear that scar as a badge at work?” 

“It’s not a badge,” he chuckled. “It’s a reminder of what it takes to live.”

“Then why was it so hard to tell me?” 

His hand left hers, bringing it to the steering wheel as he looked down the road. 

“You’ve told everyone else.” 

“I told you,” he reminded gently, “ that I haven’t. No one knows what happened out there like that. Its…” he gripped the wheel tighter. “I don’t want to remember it. I don’t want anyone to have to experience it. It went right through me. It was like getting hit by a baseball bat, I couldn’t breathe. My body froze and I remember them just yelling at me as they shook me, and another pressing his hand to my side. The blood wouldn’t stop pouring out of the hole in my side.” He looked over as he felt her hand on his shoulder. “I couldn’t hold my gun,” he explained. “Blood is like oil and it’s hard to hold your gun when it’s slipping in your hand. Then you see a good friend screaming out his lungs as he’s dying just a few feet from you. Riza, I don’t want to ever go back there.” 

“Then why are you still in the military?” Her voice but a whisper, still pressing for an answer that she was looking for. It was the same question, over and over. 

“Because it’s my duty to my country,” he answered, frowning seriously. That was how he felt about it. 

There was a period of silence where her hand lured his from the wheel and held it on her lap. 

“I didn’t want to tell you,” he whispered to the silence. “Because I didn’t want you to be afraid. I didn’t want you to baby me and worry about me all the time.”

Roy looked down at her hand resting on his palm and her staring out her window away from him. He could see her reflection in the window. Her brows frowned in concentration. He heard her sigh and deep inhales. Her eyes were dark and solid in color. Her lips slipped to the side as her thoughts changed from one to another. Riza wasn’t a one-track woman, she was complex and needed all the information to rationalize the truth of something. She needed to find the truth for herself. As it pained him, he had to wait for her to come around. He could only hope that it’d be in his favor. She could always come back and say that it’s too complicated. 

They pulled into Central, getting off on the highway next to the University. “You know that even if we aren’t dating anymore, I will still love you the same,” he said softly. “I could never stop loving you. Even if you married another man.” 

She finally looked over at him. The brown swam in emotions and deep contemplation. 

“Do you care to tell me what you’re thinking?” 

“How much I hate North City,” she muttered into her palm. 

He helped get her bag from his car, standing outside as she put it over her shoulder. She looked up at him, sighing heavily. “I love you too,” she finally said after a few seconds of silence. “But, I need some time.” She leaned up to kiss his cheek, Roy desperately wanting to turn his head and grab her into a passionate kiss that could relay every emotion he’s had since he was ten. But he stood still and respected her. “I will call you, okay?” 

He nodded, a knot in his stomach forming as he thought she’d not call for weeks. He had to focus on not crying, not begging her not to do this. He didn’t want it to end like this. Roy did reach out for a hug, half expecting her to pull back, but instead, she stepped forward into him, holding herself tight to him. When they parted, he could have sworn she took a piece of his heart with her by the way his chest hurt so bad. He just watched her go. Watched her open the door, looking back to him before entering the building, and disappearing. 

Then came the waiting. Roy considered himself a patient man. He could wait till the right time, or for what he needed to happen. But this was not something he could be patient about. He sat with his phone near him at all times, the ringer on high. He wasn’t going to miss her call. Several times he debated calling her.  _ I must not upset her more than I already have.  _ He would have to just be patient. 

It killed him inside. 

* * *

The amber liquor did not soothe his wallows. Instead, his depressed eyes and fallen face stared upon the tumbler as if it was the last thing he’d drink. He wasn’t supposed to be drinking the bar’s product. That was a big no-no. He was sure he was going to get a good smack on the head, even a long scolding from Aunt Chris when she got back from the store.  _ That’s about all I’m getting,  _ he thought as he brought the short glass to his lips.  _ Yelled at from every woman I love.  _ He set the glass down softly, looking up as a short teen dropped her bag at the other end of the table.  _ Exactly what I need. A Taylor.  _

“You know it’s not healthy to drink by yourself,” she said as she walked over to him. 

Roy grabbed a glass that was being used earlier, drank the remaining water in it, and poured two fingers into it. He slid the glass over to her. 

Taylor frowned and sat down at the table. She took the glass smelling it before making a face of disgust. “Look,” she started as she returned her gaze back to Roy. 

He didn’t even have the energy to glare at her. He didn’t even think he could argue with her. 

“This is not you.” She tipped the glass back, tasting it. “How do you drink this?”

“By hating yourself.” 

“Roy, it’s not the end of the world.” 

“She was my world.” 

Taylor frowned, taking another sip, followed by another “pah” and scrunched face. “If she’s your world, then why did you hide it from her? So what? It’s a big badass scar. Honestly, she should be more devastated seeing you in the puppy boxers.” 

“It’s more complicated than that,” he mumbled before gulping the last of the whiskey. He grabbed the bottle but Taylor jumped up and grabbed it from him. 

“How much have you had to drink?” She looked at the bottle. “Was this a new bottle? You’re nearly halfway through?”

“I’m still conscious,” he grumbled. 

“Have you even tried talking to her?”

Roy dropped his head to the counter. 

“You two drove back together. She’s obviously not that angry at you. I would have stabbed you and stolen your car.” 

“That’s far more merciful.” 

Taylor took another drink of the whiskey. “God! You’d think that it’d be good for you if it tastes this bad. They keep telling me broccoli and brussels sprouts are good for me, but yuck!” 

“It’s a vitamin,” he grumped as he reached for the bottle again. 

His younger foster sister slid it from his grasp without even a blink of the eye. “Roy, just talk to her.” 

His arm remained outstretched along the long table, his body lying motionless behind it. “It’s an adult matter. Don’t you have homework?”

“Apparently,” she snorted at him. 

The back door opened and he watched as she flipped the glass back, downing the rest of her drink he had poured her. She jumped up, grabbing her bag, patting his shoulder two times before heading towards the stairs. “Good luck, Roy-Boy. But really, take her some of that crap you’re drinking and get it on. You’ll feel better about it.” 

_ She better not be having sex,  _ he thought as he watched Aunt Chris walk into the kitchen with two bags in her hands.  _ Game over.  _

“Roy will you… Are you drinking? Don’t tell me that came from the bar.” 

He shook his head, laying back down on the table. “Then I won’t.” He knew he needed to run, but he decided that dying by the hands of his aunt was better than dying alone in his room. 

“God damn it, Boy!” She marched over to him, picking up the bottle and the glass. She looked at the second glass and then back at him. “Who was drinking with you?”

_ Tayor.  _ “I don’t remember.” 

He heard her sigh heavily, walking away quietly. “This behavior is not allowed in this house. You need to get a hold of yourself. I don’t care how but do it. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” he mumbled as he struggled to stand. He snorted his own disappointment and stumbled up the stairs.  _ Get a hold of myself. I lost myself when she got out of the car.  _

It didn’t get better when he was at work either. Not only had his injury been too noticeable during training, but he also had mounds of paperwork from it. He had to go to physical therapy now twice a week per his Colonel, and his Lieutenant Colonel was ordering him to get the paperwork done by next week. It would have been completely feasible if Maes wasn’t sitting on his desk eating a sandwich. 

“Just go talk to her. I know you love her. You loved her when you two were kids! She’s a good girl that you deserve in your life. Go talk to her.” 

“She doesn’t want me.” Roy signed another paper before looking at the next one His finger traced over certain parts before scribbling his name at the bottom. 

“Has she told you that you two are broken up?”

Roy looked up, becoming more annoyed at his best friend. 

“If not, then you two are still together. Get some flowers, some chocolates or even ice cream, or all three, and go over to the dorms.” 

He trumped. 

“It’s only been a week.” 

“That’s as long as it takes to break up.” 

Maes sighed loudly, poking Roy in the head with his finger. Roy lifted his head, swatting the finger away. He had too bad of a hangover to allow anyone, let alone Maes, to poke him in the head. “I know you two are meant to be together. I’m the romantic one of our trio. Which have you heard from Jean lately?”

“No. And I don’t care” 

“Jean’s the horny one, and you are the lonely one. Wait.” Maes looked up at the blank wall and blinked. “Yeah, you two have to break up or you’ll upset the balance of the trio.” 

Roy groaned. He stapled the two papers together and put them in a metal basket that Maes had pushed to the side so he could sit on the desk. 

“Do you love her?”

Roy stopped writing. He started at the paper knowing the truth to that question.  _ I can’t go another three years without her.  _ “I really fucked up,” he whispered. 

Maes jumped off the desk. “That seems to be the only thing you do around here.” He took another bite of his sandwich. “When you decided to take your own life into your hands, call me. It will get interesting then.” 

Roy looked at his phone again, scanning through his phone book till her name came up towards the end. His finger wanted to press call. How his heart and soul wanted him to press call, but she said she’d call him. What would be the real harm in calling her? If she said that she still needed time, at least that meant she was thinking about him. Maybe she’d agree to meet up, say that she missed him? There was nothing to lose but his dignity. The worst thing that could happen was for her to say that she didn’t want to see him anymore. And even then, at least he knew. 

He swiped the green tab on his phone. His hand trembled, holding it to his ear. He tried to calm himself with deep breaths, but it only made his chest tight. He knew it was bad when the ringer kept going. Roy wanted to throw his phone, drop it in his work drawer and forget it. He hated it. When voicemail came up, he had to decide if he was even going to leave a voicemail or not! What was he supposed to say? “Hey Riza,” he said after the tone. “I just wanted to say hi, let you know I have been thinking about you. I’m sure you’re really busy. I thought we’d grab a drink on Saturday. Let me know if you’re interested… or not… I do love you. See ya.” He clicked end. “That’s stupid,” he said lowly to himself. “Fucking stupid.” As he wanted, he tossed his phone roughly on his desk and leaned back over the order forms. All he could hope was that she’d call him back. 

But she didn’t. The next day went by, and still no call. It was similar to the anxious feeling of the doctors waiting to tell him if he could go home or not. He knew he should have spent another month in the hospital, but he was still anxious to leave. Now it was waiting every day to hear her voice, feel her touch. He laid in bed, staring up at his white ceiling and dreamed of her hands on his chest. He wanted her to sit on top of him like she did, rolling her hips because she knew he liked it, because he told her how. He wanted her to tell him she had to get home and to enjoy himself, with a smirk at the end. She was such a tease, and Roy knew she knew it. It was also those walls. The walls he had built. 

It wasn’t something he could fix overnight. It might not be something he could ever fix if she never let him in again. He’d only know that he was the one to destroy her. Roy closed his eyes tightly, remembering the day that he walked away for the final time in their childhood. At twenty, he stole her away to have one final night together. His heart pounded and he wished they could just run away. He could remember like it was yesterday the feeling of hope and sadness wrapped up in one; optimism and dread. There was only one thing he could do.  _ Marry me.  _ It wasn’t the first time he’d asked her, but it was the first time he was 100% serious. There was nothing to be done. He had to leave. He had to. If he hadn’t enlisted, he might have stayed forever with her. 

Then there was when her father died. There was nothing he could do.  _ “I can’t be there.”  _ he had told her.  _ “You need to level headed.”  _ That’s all that he could say.  _ “If there’s no will, you may not have legitimately to anything in the end. The state may take it. Do you have a lawyer?”  _ He had let her down. No wonder she didn’t need anyone. No wonder she didn’t get attached. She didn't need anyone at eighteen and fatherless, why did she need someone now? He sighed, opening his eyes. Maybe she didn’t  _ need  _ him, but he needed her. He’d sat in the hospital, writing to her in hopes she’d come. It was her hands that he wanted to put ointment on his wound, who was helping him along the corridors and giving Jean just as much shit. Maybe he was dreaming too hard. Maybe he had worked himself up to this point.  _ If I wanted it so bad, then why didn’t I show her it? I should have made more of a point to show her.  _ She could have still sat with ice on it, or put the ointment on it. He’d hurt it on purpose just to feel her fingers over it. 

Roy rolled over, holding his side. It didn’t hurt, but it was the source of his pain. He remembered the photo of her, the one he didn’t want to see. The one that was hidden away. The one with blood around the ends, yet gorgeous eyes that kept him fighting through the blood loss. It would have been too easy to lay back and allow himself to succumb to his death, but he fought on for her. How could he explain that? And if she didn’t want to see him anymore, what would he do? “Transfer to the East,” he told himself. “Heh, I could transfer to Northern command. It’s not like she’s ever going back there.” Part of him wanted to take her back up there, make it a good trip, show her that they could go anywhere and have a good time. 

The thought of them remaining friends after was a fleeting thought. Not because he didn’t think that she’d want to still be friends, but because she’d be the friend that he’d always wanted. She’d be the reason why none of his future relationships worked out. It’d be years, if not his whole life to get over her. 

_ Don’t jump to conclusions,  _ he warned himself.  _ Just call her tomorrow and see if you two can meet again.  _

It didn’t help him sleep any better. He tossed and turned, kept waking up and not feeling tired. His mind swirling with every thought in the world dating back to decisions he made as a child. When he had to wake up, he wanted to spend the rest of his day in bed, moping. He still had to go to work. No rest for military men. He glanced at his phone to see a message. Expecting to see Maes telling him to make up with her again, he tossed the phone on his bed and dragged his feet to the shower. The hot water rushed over him, nearly searing his skin while he attempted to burn his sins from himself. His hands ran through his short hair, scrubbing the scalp. He was going to get ahold of her that day, even if he had to go to her dorm and knock. He’d wait outside till she got home. She had to know what she meant to him. The first chance he was going to get, he was going to kiss her until her breath was nonexistent. He had to get her back.

In his room, he tidied up his hair, gel and a shake of it, and put on his Amestrian Blue uniform. He straightened it out with his hands, reaching back for his phone. There was another message on it. “Freaking-A Maes. I’m going to get ahold of her to-” his breath cut him short and his heart liegitably skipped a beat. 

**“Sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier. I got busy. I’d love to get drinks with you.”** Then,  **“I love you too.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... It wasn't so bad for Roy. I mean... It was, but not in the end. Right? Just a few days of stress, right? I couldn't leave all you readers on a cliffhanger. I figured I'd let you sit back and start enjoying some more fluff. Especially in these times, we need some fluff. Gotta get your angst to get good fluff. I do hope that you all enjoyed it at least. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, it means so much to me.   
> Dont forget to comment! it fuels my fingers to get the next chapter out ;) 
> 
> I'm off to wrap myself in plastic and watch anime. Have a good one, and stay safe!


	12. It doesn't matter why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza tries to figure out why Roy would ever lie to her, only to remember why she loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey? Where's Rando? Oh, he's working on editing the next chapter! Thanks, Man. You're the best.

She didn’t want to talk about it for a day. She just wanted it to sleep and analyze what was said on the drive back. A heavyweight in her stomach reminded her of how close he came to not coming home. It terrified her. He was the most important thing in her life when she was younger, and a significant part even now. It made little sense to why he was too willing to stay in a position that could take him away from her forever. Riza rubbed her face vigorously. Her head was starting to hurt with the growing emotions and conflictions that dwelled inside her chest. Tears threatened as she imagined her younger self, on the porch watching him go for the absolute last time in his own life. She never had taken into consideration that he might actually _die._ Not any real consideration. She just thought he’d come back to her. Even later when she went off to college, and she resented him for leaving her, she never imagined him dead, just faded from her life. Now, she was plagued with the idea that even now, he could die. 

More and more she hated war. If there ever was a purpose to it, Riza knew that Roy would be the first one to join.  _ He’s heroic like that _ . She sighed.  _ He always has been. _ He was always willing to join a justful cause. In reality, she should appreciate his admiration and willingness to self-sacrifice for what he believed in. And after talking to Roy, she knew he’d go back, even if he was still wounded if they called him to arms again. She saw the dark determination in his eyes, the seriousness that he held on the subject. It was the frown in his brow, the tightness in his face as he stared down the road. 

His rationality on the whole situation was astounding. She could tell in his voice that it was hard for him to talk about what happened.  _ But he did tell me. I think that just shows that he’s not going to hide anything from me, right? _ She had a hard time for years talking about her scar on her back. How was she supposed to explain that it was her fault as much as her father’s? There was more, Riza knew there was more.  _ There’s always more to a story. _ She couldn’t ask him to relay every detail of his near-death experiences. It didn’t change her perspective on war itself. Even if she’d joined, was in the same party as him, would she have been able to protect him? She wanted to protect him now, but how if he was willing to go out into harm’s way on his own? 

Riza grabbed her bag as she exited the room and walked down towards the grassy fields and onto the main campus. Below the fields on the lower campus was her teaching music theory class. It wasn’t like she was going to be able to pay attention. She was too distracted. It left her in pieces that he could so easily hide something like that from her. All the signs were there and it troubled her that she’d forgone her own instincts to protect herself. For three months, he’d not said one word to her and was able to hide it from her so easily. And she allowed herself to be blind. She should have known. It angered her that she had ignored the signs. Part of this was her fault.  _ I saw it. I saw him flinch so many times. I saw him grimace. I hurt him. Why didn’t I ask him, why? _

Riza flinched as she thought about what else he could be hiding from her. Her brain twitched as she looked over the last three months at further weird and odd behaviors. What else would he have to hide?  _ “I have nothing more to hide from you.” _ He’d said it pretty definingly. He’d stared right at her and said it. Her soul begged her to believe it. She wanted to. She needed to. She stripped him of all that he was, all his secrets, and he stood bare before her. His shoulders had sagged with defeat as he looked at her as if she was the one to betray him. In that instant, she saw Roy most vulnerable. 

Granted, if he was still lying to her, they would not stay together for long, that was for sure. That was not the Roy she grew up with. Young Roy was faithful to the core. This is what made him perfect for the military. Riza didn’t want to consider him to be different in that manner. She didn’t want to consider that he’d turned into a lying cheat. He wasn’t one. Everything that he’d ever stood for was honesty and justice. When push comes to shove, it was him that would take the higher ground, not win by playing nasty.

As she sat down in class, she found herself remembering her younger days and the secrets they held together. There was nothing that was spared between the two. Her elbows held her head on her arm up as she frowned. The desk-chair shifted unevenly under her, teetering unbalanced with her shifting weight. God forbid if her father ever knew she was out shooting with the boys, or that Roy had bought her a .22 rifle. Roy, however, knew about her back, every bruise on her body, and even her most secret hiding places. In the worst of times, he knew where to find her. Even in those days, he never hid anything from her either. She knew his broken arm was from falling from a bucking cow not from falling off the jungle gym as he told his aunt. She knew that most of the days he skipped school were to watch cartoons on TV. She couldn’t understand why he’d hide it from her. She knew so many of his secrets. There was the time he stole a kid’s comic book after the kids had teased Riza to tears. The school officials and his parents all go involved and the kid personally vowed to kick who’s ass stole his book. His Aunt Chris would surely be the most disappointed in him. No one ever knew it was Roy but her.  _ We know each other’s secrets… what's one more? Why is this one different? _

_ We’ve grown up, _ she reminded herself. But he shouldn’t change from being morally correct. If anything, wouldn’t the military enforce his beliefs? 

Before she could decipher her boyfriend further, the professor woke everyone up and began class. It was difficult for Riza to pay attention even though she took notes and kept up in the class. She wanted to understand why he’d done what he did. He had said that it was just like her scar, that he didn’t want anyone to know in order to avoid unnecessary attention. But Roy still knew about her scar. He’d known it from the beginning. He had helped take care of her while she healed. Riza bit her lip as she looked at her pen’s ballpoint tap the notebook. It was hurtful on a deeper level.  _ Why is he afraid of what I would think? _ Why would he fear anything from her? 

Over the next few days, Riza obsessed about it, as if she was looking for the answer that hid between the lines. She had to reach out to someone else to look from the outside in. Sheska was too wrapped up in their romance to be a credible source. Maria, on the other hand, was reliable, truthful, and objective. After a short phone call, they met at her favorite coffee house. On beanbags and easy jazz in the background, Riza sank in her own depression. 

“Sounds like he was embarrassed,” Maria told her as she sipped her coffee. “Maybe he was ashamed of it.” 

“We’re supposed to be tight.” Her fingers fumbled together, her gaze at her hands. She wanted to cry. She wanted to curl under her covers and hide. 

“Isn’t he supposed to be the strong one?” Maria leaned back in her seat and frowned. 

“He knows everything about me,” Riza argued. “He knew I wouldn’t have judged him for it.” She looked up at her friend, seeing the deciphering cogs in Maria’s head turning. 

“Maybe he didn’t.” 

Riza was trying her best to understand. Her hands balled up tight while her coffee was untouched. 

“It’s not like you two have been together nonstop. There was a gap there. We don’t know what happened in the gap, and it probably doesn’t matter. But if he’s supposed to be the standard requirements of a man, that’s a lot to live up to. He probably knows that.” She took another sip of her coffee. “He doesn’t want to let you down.” 

On some level, Riza could understand where Maria was coming from. 

“If you’re so troubled by it, maybe you should just ask him why. It sounds like he told you, you just need to accept it.” 

Her fingers slowly drifted towards her cup, holding it as she relished the simple pleasure in the warmth it provided. 

Maria tilted her head to the side. “I think he’s just trying to be who you wanted him to be. And being exposed like that is a source of great discomfort. It might always be. I think you need to love him for  _ that. _ ”

Maria was right. It didn’t make it easier, however. A pang of settling guilt flowed over her like a foggy day in Central and Riza started to realize how she had always taken him for granted. It wasn’t always, but there were several points that he did his best  _ for her _ and her response was not a forgiving one.  _ Not telling for four months about a scar isn’t easily forgivable,  _ she thought with a frown.  _ But how many times have I told him no. Even when I wanted to marry him, I’ve said no.  _ Riza brought her coat closer to her as the puffs of white exhale dissipated into the cold air.  _ There’s never been a doubt of his loyalty or his love for you.  _ That was the truth. She was never cruel to him, but he’d never left her even when it’d been strained as kids. When she was on her period and grouchy, he stayed with her, holding her until the cramps stopped. He listened to her music, listened to her talk about music, and never expected or asked anything of her. He was always messaging her good morning so that she woke up with a text from him. And if they met for lunch, he’d be one time, every time, even if he was at work and had to “sneak away.” He did things that she never asked of him. Even when she needed help when her dad died, he couldn’t be there in person, he still wrote her back and still called. Maybe she never thought about it like that. 

When Riza got out of her lab class, she noticed she had a missed call. It had been a week. She’d waited too long to call him, and now he was calling her. She was causing him anxiety. She didn’t have time to call him back, nor the mentally as she had fretted for most of the week. To top it off, she was rushing to work. She had planned to text him later when she got a chance. But the chance didn’t come. She went from work to the library, to home late only, to have to tell the girls in 718 to turn off their music for the night. Thursdays were always hectic. She went to bed missing him. It wasn’t like she had missed her before. For years she’d slept alone, and most of her childhood. Yet, now, after North City, after him texting her, she was now feeling alone more than ever. After many naps together, hearing his heartbeat and feeling his chest rise and fall under her hand as he snored lightly, the bed felt empty. 

She was up early and was moving before Sheska. With a glance at her phone, Riza noticed she had a voice mail. “I just wanted to say hi, let you know I have been thinking about you. I’m sure you’re really busy. I thought we’d grab a drink on Saturday. Let me know if you’re interested, or not. I do love you. See ya.” She hadn’t forgotten, but she didn’t take the time to message him, a simple act that would have made his anxiety calm. Now she felt cruel. 

**“Sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier. I got busy. I’d love to get drinks with you later today.”** Riza typed slowly, thoughtfully, before pressing send. She pulled it up again and typed,  **“I love you too.”** Because she did. She couldn’t live without him. Maybe it was a big deal to hide the scar, but he’d been honest about it, and once she understood why he did it, she could forgive him. 

After a few minutes, she looked at her phone. He should have been up. He was normally up at this hour. So, why hadn’t he responded to her? Her stomach sank as she checked her time again.  _ Maybe he didn’t see the texts. He’s probably eating breakfast.  _ It was hard to imagine him not waiting for her text. She also couldn’t imagine him ignoring her. 

Her phone cracked her thoughts and she reached for her phone. His name on her screen. “Hey, Roy.” 

“Hey. Long time no talk.” She could hear that it was awkward for him as he said it slowly. Maybe she did wait too long. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” she smiled. “You said something about drinks this evening? What time were you thinking?” 

“So I’m assuming you’re not so mad at me?” 

Riza frowned, sitting on her bed. “You really hurt my feelings. I just needed to work through it.” 

“Ah,” he replied slowly. “Well, I will have you know that I have taken it easy and my side feels better.” 

Her heart warmed. “That’s great,” she replied, trying to bring a happier tone to the call. 

“Maes and I were talking about going for drinks. I thought about calling him and we can get together and have a double date if you wanted.” 

Riza nodded as she thought about it. She’d never really met Maes Hughes or his wife. It might be fun. 

“Do you have friends that would go? We could share friends and really have a party?” 

“Oh! You’ve met Maria, but not her boyfriend, Denny. They can come.” 

“Sweet,” he chuckled on the other end. “I can’t wait to see you. I … I really missed you.” He sounded relieved. She swore he could hear a sigh of relief, a soft smile as he replied to her. 

Riza was too. Even if she was mad at him, she wasn’t ready to cut ties. She’d fretted over all of the unknown because she wanted to be with him. It’d be good to see him even if that was all it was going to be. “So, see you around four or five?” 

“Sounds good,” he replied happily. “See you then.” 

It was exciting. As the day went on, she found herself getting worked up. She wanted to feel his warmth under her fingertips, taste him, hearing him moan. Strangely enough, despite the prior anxieties and anger, she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to lay him on the bed and kiss his scar with apologies. She wanted to hold his hand while they were at the bar, scribble secret messages into each other’s palm, letter by letters. “I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U.” They’d come back, or maybe sneak away to his room, and lay together, giggling at their own drunkenness. Most of all, she wanted to wake with him, kiss him good morning. There were things in a non-sexual relationship that could be fully enjoyed, and waking up with him with a kiss good morning was one of them. 

There were things that had to be done before. She needed to call and confirm the get together with Maria and Denny, who was quick to agree. There was an academic paper to be written before next Friday. She needed three academic sources. She’d be spending a few hours at the library. She also wanted to get dressed up, at least something more appealing than sweatpants and a t-shirt that hadn’t been washed in four days. Riza would do her hair, maybe pull it up and put on some light makeup. 

However, with her work to be done, and the time she wanted to get ready, also left her with time to fret. There was no doubt that Riza was more than excited to see Roy again, however, it also brought the fact she was going to have to physically acknowledge his scar. It was easy to reason with it.  _ It’s easy to say that I am okay with it.  _ But she was actually okay with it? She wasn’t even sure if she was ready to see it again! She wanted to see him, to touch him, to kiss him, however coming to four when he was going to pick her up, and she felt her chest grow tight thinking about the scar on his side. She had to put it aside. She needed to accept it and move on. More so, Riza needed to love him, just as Maria had said. 

Closer to four, she looked at her watch. She’d been hunched over her desk, trying to focus enough to finish a chapter. It wasn’t working. She looked up at her photo of the Northern Lights and remembered thinking of her. Her leg shook in excitement. She’d be seeing him soon. However, he had told her he’d text her when he was there and her phone remained silent. Yet, it wasn’t four yet. She needed to stop working herself up. After all, he might be feeling the same way with her. She had not been considerate in not getting back to him so quickly. She would have to make sure to make it up to him by holding his hand and telling him that she missed him. Riza didn’t have to forget what happened but understand and accept it. 

A knock at her door almost made her jump. The girls on her floor had been rambunctious lately. It would be no surprise if one was complaining about the noise of another. With a heavy sigh, she got up. She didn’t want to be busy when he messaged her. It was just one more thing that’d distract her from her wants. Riza opened the door, ready to tell the girl that she needed to work it out herself, seeing a very casual Roy instead. He was wearing fitting jeans with a silver polo shirt. She could see the curve of his sides and his flat stomach. Her heart twitched. 

“Thought I’d surprise you,” he snickered. “I hardly ever get to pick you up at the door.” 

Riza nodded dumbly. “I just gotta put my shoes on,” she mumbled as she turned around. 

“Is Sheska here?” 

“She’s not,” Riza answered from the dorm. She heard him take a step in. It made her skin shiver as she imagined them alone in her room. “Last thing I needed was her nagging me about our relationship. I’m not sure if you know, but we have a fangirl.” She turned to be nose to nose with her boyfriend. Roy didn’t waste another second as his lips crashed against hers. She almost fell back from the collision but one hand grabbed her face and the other wrapped around her waist to hold her to him. 

No wonder Sheska thought they were a cheap romance novel. 

She couldn’t recognize how long they kissed, but her lungs burned which forced her to withdraw from his grasp. Her adrenaline was high and her hormones joined them in succession. Her hands reached out grabbing his shirt, fisting it up in frustration he couldn’t be closer if that was at all possible. He pushed her back, her feet struggling to hold herself against his long strides. With a snap, he put her against the wall, groaning against her. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy it. It was a sexual rush! It was hot, and her body felt ablaze. The last thing she wanted was for it to end. 

He groaned against her, wedging his leg between her thighs. “I swore I was going to kiss you next time I saw you,” he breathed against her lips. 

“You certainly did that,” she gasped. 

It’d be a short reprieve as he quickly took her mouth once more. It felt as if she had hypothermia and was too hot at the same time. Her hands grasped his face, cupping it tightly, feeling the smoothness of a fresh shave. Their bodies pressed roughly together against the wall. 

“I’m sorry,” he gasped as he parted. “I’ll never lie to you again.” 

It was her turn as she brought his face to hers, her teeth biting his lower lip as she demanded more attention. His hands rushed to her thighs, she jumped, wrapping her legs around him as he lifted her. It was only two steps before he dropped her on her bed, tearing off his shirt as he looked down at her. Her eyes flashed to his side, before back to his eyes. It didn’t seem to bother her in the least. The taste of him on her tongue was addicting and she needed more. Though his shirt came off smoothly and in one swoop, her’s seemed to be difficult, lagging and slow. He laughed, apparently humored, and reached down to help her. Riza should have felt self-conscious on some level, but she didn’t. She wasn’t ashamed or nervous when he jumped on the bed, mounting over her and kissed her neck. Riza curled inward as she laughed. It tickled immensely! Instead of stopping, Roy grinned and did it again. Her hand reached up to block it, an attempt to save her from the wave of energy that shot through her body. Her head turned to protect her neck, but his kisses and laughs only trailed down to her breasts, sending a line of tickles across her body. It was play, simple childish frolic of two adults. 

The door clicked and Riza’s head shot up. 

“Whoa!” A brown-haired, mousey, girl stood in the doorway with her mouth open.

Roy fell off the bed as Sheska stood in the doorway. “Come on!” She screamed. “Can you guys not?”

“Get out,” Riza yelled, throwing her pillow. 

Roy laid on the floor, his hands covering his face as he groaned. 

Her roommate continued to laugh as she exited. “You two need to get a room! And not mine! I’m going to the library!” 

“She wasn’t supposed to be back for another hour or so,” Riza groaned. “I’m sorry, are you okay.” 

“Yeah,” Roy replied through his hands. 

“God,” she fell back onto her bed. “And the moment is gone.” 

“We have to stop doing this in your dorm.” He sighed loudly through his nose. “We should get going anyway,” he groaned, sitting up. 

The thought of him on top of her wasn’t going to go anywhere. The mood was lost but not the heated passion that was moments ago. She watched as he stood up, grabbing his shirt on the ground, and putting it on. She watched his muscles flex as his arms reached up to slide the shirt over his head. His scar stretched along, blending in with his stretched form.  _ It’s part of him.  _ Her shirt hitting her in her face broke her from her stare. Removing the shirt only revealed him just inches away, a stupid grin on his face.  _ I love him.  _ Riza leaned forward, letting her lips press against his so nicely that it seemed easy, rehearsed, and casual. At that moment, she knew he was perfect for her. That kiss was enough proof in the world. 

* * *

Riza looked up from the to see Roy wave at two incoming adults. The bartender was taking his time getting her and Roy’s beers. She wiggled her toes as she thought about meeting Maes and Gracia officially for the first time. It was odd to think that it’d been almost four months and she’d only heard of them. Roy had at least met Maria in passing and was on pretty casual terms with Sheska. But she’d only heard about Maes and Gracia. When she thought about it, it was another secret that Roy had kept. However, that was coming out just after his scar did. Maybe there was a sneaky coincidence of the relationship between the two. 

Roy jumped up, hugging his friend tightly. The man was the same height as Roy, slicked-back black hair with a loose strand that bounced about his square glasses. His smile was contagious and just watching Maes made her smile. His wife, who was quick to place a kiss on Roy’s cheek, was a bit shorter with chin-length hair, framing her face. It was to note that Maes held the seat for her. A pat on the shoulders and Maes walked towards the bar and towards Riza. 

“You must be Riza,” he greeted with a larger than life smile. “I’m Maes.” He reached out to shake her hand. 

Riza took it as two beers were dropped on the bar for her. “Yeah,” she answered. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” 

“Yeah.” He leaned against the bar. “I need two lites, please,” he ordered before turning his joyous gaze back to her. “We’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“It’s all bad,” she snickered. 

“If you’re bad,” he nudged her with his shoulder. “Roy is the most masochist person I know.” 

“What?” Riza tilted her head, confused. 

“He adores you.” Hughes dropped a few cenz on the counter, nodding a thanks to the bartender as he received his beers. “You are one lucky chick.” 

Riza smiled, not knowing how to respond. She knew on some level that she was his girl, but hearing it from his best friend was assuring that what she thought was true. She led the two towards the table where Roy waved them over. “Hey,” he called out, waving them over. “Maes, I need your help here. Denny thinks that there is no difference in Eastern and Western horses!” 

Maes walked casually to take an easy seat by his wife. “There isn’t. Both have four legs, a mane, and a tail.” 

The table erupted in cheers and laughter except Roy who gasped out a “bullshit there is!” He turned back to his friend. “Why then would the military buy Eastern horses for their stock?”

Riza sat down, handing a beer to her boyfriend, looking at him fondly. The whole conversation was drowned out by the way he looked. His dark eyes laughed as he leaned on the table. His long hair swayed over his eyes as he jerked his head from one friend to the other. The open grin was infectious and to hear him laugh made a laugh of her own bubble up.

Denny grinned as he leaned back raising his glass as he smoothly answered. “Because they are cheap.” 

“Bullshit,” Roy continued to argue as Riza and Maria laughed. It was good to see him in such a good mood. She was sure that the kiss earlier had a good part of his mood too. 

Riza turned in her seat. “Are Eastern horses better than Western horses?”

Gracia rubbed her chin while everyone stared at her, curious to her answer. “Well… Have you ever eaten a Western pig and an Eastern pig?”   
“What does that have to do with horses,” Denny asked, squinting his eyes. 

“One tastes better because of what it eats.” 

_ This is the conversation we have as friends _ , Riza thought, very amused.  _ I definitely wouldn’t imagine us talking about horses like this! _ It was pleasant to see everyone getting along, engaging and laughing. More so was the man she was sitting next to her, hunched over the table as he tried to make his argument. Hours ago, he was on top of her as she felt his chest and tasted his lips. She had to wonder if he was remembering the same thing. It was hard for her to dismiss and her gaze lingered on his lips. 

“So do you taste a difference,” Maria asked as she sipped her cocktail. 

“No, but I’ve never ridden a horse so I can’t answer that either.” So far, she was liking Gracia and her wit. For a quiet woman, she was quick on her feet with comments and conversation. 

The table again erupted into laughter. Riza leaned close to Roy, nudging him in the arm with her elbow. “I think Eastern horses are better looking,” she winked. 

“Hey,” Maria called them out, pointing at the two of them. “Are you making this analogy to you,” she pointed to Roy. “Mr.  _ Mustang _ .” 

He could only grin back. “If you want to go that way, then I’m just a wild stud.” 

Maes ruffled his hair as if Roy was a child as he sat next to him. It was obvious that they were close friends. “But it seems that only one woman has been able to tame and ride you.” 

Riza blushed, dropping her head to the table and hid it behind her arm. That was not the answer she was expecting.

“Oh,” Roy laughed. “I buck, she just holds on.” 

Riza cried in embarrassment. He was not helping. “Shut up,” she groaned. It wasn’t heard through all the laughter. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a side hug. It was a small gesture but a giant comfort. She was mildly, if not fully, embarrassed by the insinuation. However, Riza knew that he wasn’t going to let anyone harp on her whether the comment was true or not. 

“We’ve been thinking about getting a pet lately.” 

“I want a dog,” Riza admitted quickly. 

“I’d love a little kitten,” Gracia smiled. 

“Something to just sit in your lap and purr?” Riza agreed as she took a drink of her beer.

“Why in heaven would you want a cat,” Roy asked his friend’s bride. 

“They meow,” she replied innocently. “They cuddle and they like feathers.” 

“Yeah,” he pointed to Maes. “That down comforter? Poof!” 

“We can call it Feathers, Honey!” 

Maes shrugged nonchalantly. “What she wants, she gets.” 

Riza let her hand fall on Roy’s thigh, smiling ahead as if her hand wasn’t noticeable to the rest of the table. 

Denny nodded. “I’m on the dog bandwagon.” 

“I’m not sure if I want a pet right now,” Maria argued. 

“I want a big dog. I want a big Rottweiler,” Roy set his empty beer bottle down, burping lightly. “I will call him… Cat-eater.” 

“Oh,” Gracia patted her husband’s leg as she bounced in her seat. Already Riza was admiring the two of them. They were such a beautiful couple. “They could grow up together! They’d be a cute pair!” 

Maes turned, looking seriously at Roy. “We are going to need to set up playdates between your Rottweiler and our house cat.” 

“Fine, but I get your wife every Wednesday for dinner.” 

“Sold,” Gracia yelled before Maes could argue. 

Maria turned to the conversation. “We should do a bar-b-que cook-off. Denny makes some amazing ribs.” 

“Pork chops,” Roy said as he thumbed Gracia. 

“Eastern or Western,” Riza chipped in. 

“Depends which horse is bringing it in,” Maria winked. 

Roy tossed his coaster as Denny who laughed loudly. 

It was good to have friends like this. Her heart felt fuller when she was this happy with friends. She felt his arm wrap around her, pulling her into his side. He was obviously thinking about earlier. Maybe he had intentions of continuing their antics? She approved this idea. She couldn’t deny that she’d been thinking about it too. He looked down at her, Riza seeing the tenderness and love that flowed from his gaze, his smile lopsided before he got up with Maes to get another round of beers. It was harder not to watch his back as he walked away. 

“You love him don’t you,” Gracia asked, leaning back in her chair. 

“She has since she was a teen from the stories she tells of him,” Maria chided. 

“I think I do,” Riza replied softly, turning back to the table. “He...He didn’t tell me he got shot,” she began to explain. “And I was really upset that he lied about it for so long.” 

“Oh?” Gracia tilted her head to the side. 

She nodded. “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there were worse things he could hide. That he did it because he didn’t want me to make a big deal about it.” 

“Told you,” Maria chuckled. 

She nodded again. “I made a big deal about it. I needed to let it go and accept that it was a part of him.” 

Gracia giggled. “Men carry their own stories a different way. Maes, for instance, had a hard time talking about a case that he had closed on. I was really worried about him for a while. He had closed himself off and had been depressed.” 

“Denny will do that,” Maria agreed. 

“I’m right here,” her boyfriend reminded her. 

It resulted in a round of laughter. 

“You do,” she insisted. “You will internalize your angst!” 

“Guys don’t talk about feelings!” 

Riza looked down at her empty beer. “I wish you would. I could love him better if I knew what he needed from me.” 

Before they could talk more about it, Maes’ boisterous voice billowed over the table. “Aren’t you starting your classes soon,” Maes asked as he handed his wife a beer. “Did you figure out what classes you were going to take?”

“You’re going to school too,” Denny asked before drinking the rest of his beer.

“Yeah. It’s through the military. I can go to campus but the classes are at headquarters if I choose to take those courses.” He turned back to Maes. “I took this assessment and I guess it pointed to architecture.” 

“I think you’d be good at that,” Riza agreed with his decision. 

“Really?”

She nodded happily. He’d always taken a liking to engineering and building structures. 

The dark-haired woman across from Riza pointed to her friend. “You’re starting your teaching courses, right?” 

The blonde in his arm nodded. 

“Why don’t you go back to school,” Gracia asked with a gentle shove to Maes. 

“Because. School is hard,” he pouted in a whiny tone. 

Riza tilted her head to the side, feeling Roy’s arm return around her, pulling her closer to him. “You’re in investigations. You’re smart!” 

“Smart enough to stay in investigations. I’m good at what I do. I will have to take classes in the next year or so to keep up certifications and stuff like that.” He waved his hand in the air as if those didn’t bother him. “Like Roy, I have people in high places that like me. And in twenty years, I will retire from the military and go into working as a detective in the city police department.” 

“Why would you do that,” Denny asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’d be getting paid less.” 

“Not with my experience.” 

“He will be running the detective department,” Roy burped. 

It was good to have him again, to touch him again, to feel his arm around her. One never knew what they had till they didn’t have it anymore. It was a hard realization, a quick lesson in appreciating Roy while she had him. Added with the company and the laughs, it’d been a perfect night. Four appetizers, six rounds of beers, Maes and Roy cohording Denny into shots, and Maria almost beating them, it was worth a good story. If she remembered it. Riza was quite drunk by the end of it. It’d gone into the early morning with Maes calling everyone a cab home. 

“No,” he smiled as Gracia held him up. “I insist.” 

“We can walk,” Roy assured. “I think she and I need to sober up a bit.” 

“Are you taking her home? You dog!” Gracia rolled her eyes at her husband’s teasing. 

“It’s too far to go to my dorm,” Riza answered, smirking up at Roy. The ‘dog’ comment didn’t bother her, which would have several hours ago. She was too drunk to even realize the context of it. 

“See,” he pointed to her. “She’s got to go to my place.” He turned, holding her up before kissing her cheek. “She can even have my bed and I’ll go find a couch downstairs.” 

“How chivalrous,” Gracia joked. 

“But I don’t want to get cold,” she found herself whining. It was almost like she couldn’t stop saying insinuating things. That’s all she was thinking. Riza wanted to go home and sit on his stomach as she took her shirt off. She wanted to feel him aroused, hear him moan, and see him squirm under her. 

“You wouldn’t want that,” Maes snickered. A cab pulled up to the curb and Gracia opened the door for her husband. “Are you sure you don’t want a cab?”

Roy nodded. “The walk will be good.” 

She wanted to be like Gracia and Maes with Roy. Gracia was so calm, collected, and gentle with Maes even when he might not deserve it. It happened to be the opposite right then. Roy was holding Riza up. “How,” she mumbled. “You had mor’ drinks than me.” He had shots, more beer, even arm wrestling in his drunken state. It was a mystery to how he was carrying her out of the bar. “It must have been the academy,” she concluded with a nod of her head. “You drank so much in the academy.” 

Roy just laughed as he tried to navigate the sidewalk. 

Their feet stumbled along the way with Riza leaning in one direction for most of it. The air was frozen and Riza attempted several times to make “breath rings” which didn’t work in the slightest, but left both of them laughing loudly in the empty street. Streetlights led their way as he held her hand tightly. Riza swayed, using her hand for balance, mumbling her way through telling him something silly. Neither was going to remember it tomorrow, but they laughed nonetheless. She hoped she did. She hoped she remembered the way his laugh, the way he leaned back, grinning openly. She wanted to remember the warmth of his hands on her skin, guarding her against the chilly air. When he leaned down and kissed her softly, Riza felt their lips slip in slow motion. The bad alcohol breath was forgotten and the only thing that mattered in the world was the way she stopped breathing as he pulled her against him. 

“Shh,” he hushed as they walked in a crooked line to the back door. The lights to the bar were dimmed, closed as it was late, and the house lights were turned off. His hand reached up only to turn it and feel it was locked. “Damn it.” 

That was not what Riza wanted to hear in the cool air. “They don’t leave it open for you? Why don’t you have a key?”

Roy blinked. “That’s a good question,” he snickered, finding it too funny that he was locked out. “Chris always locks the door. I never asked for a key.” He turned around and moved to the side of the house. “This way.” 

She followed him, fighting a string of giggling fits. The whole situation was funny, but Roy didn’t seem to think so. He jumped up, pulling himself up an awning. “Up here,” he motioned, reaching down to her. Riza was too busy giggling like a drunk teen to stand long enough to grab his hand. She’d make a weak jump and then burst into laughter. “Shhh,” he’d remind her loudly. “If Aunt Chris wakes up, she’s going to kick both of us out!” 

“We are already out,” Riza said plainly. “She’s welcome to kick us in.” 

Roy mentally slapped himself in the head. “Focus, Goofball. Grab my hand.” 

Riza swayed as she steadied herself.  _ Focus,  _ she told herself in a fit of internal giggles.  _ Maybe it’s not a good idea to be on the roof.  _

He reached as far as he could before his arm grabbed hers and she jumped. It took another minute of intoxicated coordination, but soon they moved to the other part of the roof to climb on. It was obvious that Roy was used to climbing up this way while being this drunk. However, she was sure he had never escorted or smuggled, a drunk girl into his room. “If Taylor locked me out again, we’re going to have to get a hotel room,” he stated in a jokingly tone. 

Suddenly, it was not funny. Riza had climbed up onto the roof, in the cold. She didn’t want to be locked out. “Oh no.” Riza prayed it wasn’t so as she followed behind him on her hands and knees. “I’m not getting down. It took me too many giggles to get up here.” 

Roy turned his head over his shoulder as he chuckled towards her. He reached over, and pulled up on the window. There was a moment of doubt, of terrible worry that they were stuck outside in the cold, until it opened with a grinding squeak. 

“Thank God,” she mumbled. She reached over to him and her boyfriend helped her into the room, shutting the window behind him. “I’m so hungry,” she looked around. 

“I have food downstairs,” he offered as he pointed to the open door. 

“You need a minifridge,” she determined, deciding going downstairs was too much work. Chances are, they’d get caught by Chris and they’d get quite the lecture about being an adult. 

“I will not argue with you there.” He nodded to the bed as he took his jacket off. “We should probably drink some water,” he yawned, reaching for a bottle of water. 

Riza only waved her hand at him, falling into his pillows. She didn’t even attempt to get under his covers. The bed was incredibly comfortable, more than she remembered.  _ I’m going to wake up sore because it’s not as soft as my drunk ass thinks it is. _ Last time she remembered it being no better or worse than her bed at the dorm. However, she was hitting the tired part of her drunken adventure. 

“So much for food,” he whispered with a chuckle. She heard him grab a blanket on a trunk and gently laid it on her. 

“Come here,” she mumbled, waving at him to join her. “I wasn’t joking when I said I needed you to keep me warm.” She rolled to her side, reaching up and grabbing his collared shirt by his belt. “Who will protect me from Taylor?” 

She watched as he chuckled, more than amused from her needy behavior. He sat down, taking off his shoes and pants. He pulled the polo over his head and twisted to look at her. Riza could see he was still worried about her reaction to his scar. He was watching to see her flinch, squint, or frown. But Riza matched his worried gaze with a sured smile. She wasn’t going to let it come between them like that. Her fingers reached out, the tip of her middle finger swiping over it. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but suddenly the scar looked good on him.  _ It’s showing his will to live,  _ her brain slurred.  _ And I love that about him.  _

The bed creaked, his body weight causing the mattress to sag. It was a tight fit for the two of them, but it wasn’t something that Riza wasn’t used to. They’d cuddled numerous times on his bed, each time a blissful sleep of close proximity. It was a wonder why he had even mentioned going somewhere else.  _ Unless he’s afraid of where this might go.  _ They might be drunk, but Riza still knew what she wanted. 

Roy’s arms wrapped tightly around her, his chin nearly on her head, as he took a deep breath. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you too,” she yawned. 

“Good night.” 

* * *

Riza never heard her boyfriend get up, never felt the bed move. She was passed out on the deepest levels. She woke to him shaking her, a cup of water being offered as a peace offering. “Hey,” he said softly. “You might want to drink this.” 

She knew he was right. Her body ached, her mouth tasted nasty, and her head starting to pound from the alcohol poisoning of a hangover. Her hand reached for the glass, her dry mouth eager to feel the cool water on the tongue. 

“I had to pee,” he explained. “You better go too.” 

He was right a second time. She just didn’t want to move from her comfortable spot on his bed even if she did need to pee. His hand reached out, helping her up. “You got it?” 

Riza nodded, slowly stumbling her way to the bathroom. If he let her, she was going to sleep all day. It wasn’t like she had anything to do… except schoolwork. She could hear a serious conversation brewing downstairs. It wasn’t her place to eavesdrop so she quietly made her way back to his bedroom. “They are talking about something serious down below,” her dry voice cracked as she shut the door behind her. 

He nodded, sitting on the bed as he waited for her. “Family bullshit, I’m sure.” 

“Sounds like you need your own place.” 

“With a bigger bed.” 

She smiled. “Not too big or we can’t cuddle.” 

He laughed with her, moving so he could let her crawl between the bed and wall, wiggling under the sheets as she settled down. His bed, for whatever reason, was incredibly comfortable for what it was. She was having little motivation to leave. Apparently his intentions of sleeping all day were the same as hers. She didn’t look at the clock but felt like she’d only slept a few hours. A few more would be wonderful. His chest was warm combined with his soft and steady snores and his arm across her hip, it was bliss. She couldn’t have asked for anything else. When her eyes closed, Riza’s body relaxed and she fell back into sleep. 

She didn’t dream. It was a sleep that wasn’t sleep. Her eyes opened when the bed moved again, feeling as if she had only closed her eyes for a mere few seconds. She peeked open her eyes to see Roy grabbing two water bottles from Catherine, who was smiling gently at her brother. Riza wished she had that kind of family. She wished that she had a family in general. His aunt had been the family that she ever needed. And in a way, she supposed that Catherine was that sister she needed too.  _ That’s what you need,  _ she sighed to herself.  _ If his family is your family, are you accepting his offer to marry you, or you are making you all family-related and making it weird you are sleeping with your brother.  _ Now she cringed. She was still too drunk to be thinking. 

“Hey,” his quiet tone as he slipped back into the thin bed. “You thirsty?” He showed her some water. 

Riza moaned, sitting partially up to take a drink of the water. Her hangover wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be. 

Roy put the water by the bed before laying down, his nose inches from hers. “You still look tired, Love,” he whispered, reached up to curl some hair behind her ear. 

She yawned with a nod. “I could sleep the rest of the day,” she admitted. 

“Then you wouldn’t sleep tonight,” he chuckled. 

“Try me.” 

His nose rubbed against hers. “You know,” he breathed upon her lips. “We’re laying pretty close…” 

Her body’s temperature rose as she heard the insinuation in his voice. “We’ve been laying close this whole time.” There wasn’t a reason behind trying to put off his flirtation. Riza wasn’t actually not interested.

When Roy pulled her body to his, she could easily feel his arousement. He smelled more of sweat than of a night of drinking. Her chest felt tight and her stomach felt warm. His dark eyes made her muscles melt and the brushing of his nose against hers begged an encouraging whine from her. He didn’t have to try, though he did. All he had to do was kiss her forehead and she’d crawl closer to him than physically possible. “We weren’t awake then,” he snickered, rubbing his nose against hers slowly. “Unless you’re too tired.” He leaned forward to suck carefully on her bottom lip.

She was tired, but feeling his nose brush hers, and his lips gently suck on hers, pulling her bottom lips out with a slight and alluring smile, made it worth staying awake. He was being playful, soft and cuddly. She felt so relaxed, she could have just curled up to him and slept for another eight hours. She wasn’t over his warmth yet. Riza lifted her head so they could properly kiss, his lips pulling from hers, slowly, slipping as they tenderly parted. Her hands slipped up so they could play with his hair. In turn, she felt his drift down her sides to her hips. The sensual feeling of his body against hers, his fingers easily tickled her while they ran over delicate parts of her skin, was almost too much. Their lips danced, long moans, loving and easy caresses that were innocent with intent. 

“I love you,” he breathed against her. 

“I love you too,” she sighed in return. 

She felt his fingers slip under her shirt, gliding up her skin to her breast. She sucked air through her teeth, trying not to laugh at the tickling feeling he inflicted upon her. She squirmed, wiggling between the wall and him. 

Her hands pressed gently on his chest. “Roy,” she whispered. 

He stopped, pulling from her looking concerned. 

“I just…” She knew where this was going. 

He pulled from her. “If you’re not sure you want to do this, we don’t have to.” 

She shook her head. “It’s not that.” 

“What is it?” 

She blushed. 

She felt his forehead rest on hers and Riza looked up at him. “Do you trust me?” 

“It’s not that.” She felt his fingers spider up her sides and Riza flinched away as she laughed. 

“Tell me,” he whispered with a grin. 

She laughed against his chest. 

“Tell me it’s okay,” he chuckled, pulling her closer with his tickling fingers. 

She pulled from him and laughed. “Roy!” 

“Shh,” he hushed. “Everyone is home.” 

“You’re tickling me,” she protested loudly. 

He stopped, putting his cheek against hers. “Are you afraid?”

Riza wasn’t afraid. She shook her head and turned her head to kiss his chin. “I love you.” She giggled again.

“Shhh,” he hushed again, this time closer and against her neck. His breath was hot against her skin and she felt hypersensitive to all of his touches. “They think we’re asleep.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then... I suppose they are are going to make up after all. See! The fluff is coming! Well.... there's a bit more than fluff coming. So all you "innocent" people out there, you might want to cover your eyes. 
> 
> I hope that you did enjoy the last bit of angst for now. I do have to say, writing the bar scene was the most fun I've had in a while. I do hope that you enjoyed it. I just hope from here on out, it doesn't get too boring. Wait... how can it be boring with FLUFF!? 
> 
> I am doing my best to get these out on time. I know that they have been now, but it looks like schooling is going to get crazy for the next 3 weeks. If I do not get the next one out as fast, know that I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU! How could I ever forget about any of you!? And although I enjoy writing this FAR more than I enjoy school, I only have a few more classes before I'm free of it. Then I get this shiny piece of paper I can shove in my manager's face.... 
> 
> ANYWAY! In the meantime, I do recommend Fullmetalcully's "The Way It Was" and Tasia's "Ex Tempore" But be careful. You might fall in love with them! They will get you through the dark times while I'm not around. 
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment. They keep me going! They are always appreciated. I do hope that all of you are staying safe. Stay inside where fanfiction keeps you happy. Thank you for being readers and I'll see you next time!


	13. Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy's lost in the weekend's activities, stuck at work to think about the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rando! You're awesome!

It wouldn’t go without saying the awkwardness and the anxiety that came from the two of them. For Roy, it was a clash between his eagerness to actually having sex with Riza, to not hurt her. His own knowledge of virgin sex was already awkward on her part, he didn’t want to add to it. But it wasn’t what he was thinking. That made him laugh. He’d stop and wait for her, watching her bite her lip and shift under him as grabbing his shoulders. 

“You okay,” he asked softly. 

She nodded as he slowly thrust into her. “It feels good, but…” 

He lowered himself to her, kissing her softly. Unfortunately, he didn’t have all the time in the world as he wished. His body had other things in mind. As she caught up to him, he’d catch up to himself. He watched carefully to her facial expressions, one with open eyes and a slight smirk or open mouth, to a quick flinch and grimace that followed. His stomach ached. He didn’t want it to be like this. It was not what his imagination had concocted. However, with more patience, her uncertainty turned to happiness and gasps were of pleasure. 

“There you go,” he encouraged with a smile. “Just relax.” 

It was with the utmost importance that he was gentle. The way he touched her, the way he kissed her, and the way he hushed her. It was something he couldn’t define but felt so right. It felt as if it was supposed to happen all along. More satisfying was the way her head felt against his bare chest and the way her silky skin felt under his fingertips as they floated over her backside. He could never take that feeling for granted. It was the lost piece of his soul, reconnecting with an electric shock that would render him useless. He could never forget how passionate it was as he fell deep into her and their lips weakly silenced their moans. After all, he was the completion of himself with her. She stole his breath as it left his mouth and it took everything for him not to fall on her with exhaustion, with loss of breath.

_ “Damn,” _ she had gasped.  _ “I’ve waited too long for that.” _

_ “Worth the wait,”  _ He answered in a whisper. 

And now, he was lying next to her in complete bliss. As children, as young teens, he has once held her like this. It’d felt right then too. But now… it was so much more intense. Everything from feeling her skin on his skin, hearing her breath, tasting her lips, and seeing her bite her lip as she squeezed her eyes shut, was intensified. He couldn’t say that with anyone else he’d been with, did he feel so strongly connected on such an emotional level. His arm rested behind his head with her head resting on his shoulder as he looked up at the ceiling. His other arm rested on his abdomen over her hand, fingers caressing the top of her hand. The soft rhythm of her breath snored gently against his chest. He never wanted this feeling to end. He wanted to remain suspended in an endless loop of fingers brushing and lips touching. The most Roy could do was remain in his bed with Riza next to him for the rest of the day. His chest was bare, while she had commandeered his sweats and it may have been weird but he only felt more aroused to see her in his clothes. He grinned. The idea of her standing in just his sweatshirt with nothing else made his skin hot. He’d have to make sure that she went home with one of his sweatshirts. 

But it couldn’t last as he wanted. “I have to get up,” he whispered to her sleeping form. The thought of just slipping away had played in his mind. He wondered how easy it would have been to slide from under her and return with some water and food. The last thing he wanted to do was actually wake her. 

She hummed an acknowledgment and hugged him tighter. Just as he thought, she didn’t want him to go either. 

“I’ve got to go take my meds and I have to go pee.” 

“Yeah,” she admitted in a whisper. “I do too.” 

He wiggled from her grasp, but Riza held on tighter. “I don’t want to go downstairs,” she whined. “They will know what we did.” 

He laughed as he sat up. “I’m not worried. I’m sure they know even if we were quiet.” He reached for a dirty shirt on the floor. “I can bring you up something if you don’t want to go downstairs. Then we can just go back to bed, sleep for the rest of the day.”

She nodded as she rolled onto her back with a yawn. She was even beautiful doing that. His body froze and he felt it melt as she rubbed her eyes. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to that, and if he did, he prayed he never took it for granted. Every morning with her was a blessing. Since he was sixteen, he had imagined this moment, and that imagination never left him. Even as she smiled up at him, sitting up and rolling her neck, he felt compelled to push her back down in a fit of laughter and kiss her entire body. Instead, all he could do was slip on a shirt and smile back at her. 

As he left the bathroom, he saw her coming down the hall. Her feet dragged and she rubbed her arm. He could see the exhaustion and Roy sighed with guilt that he had woken her up. “What do you want to eat?” He whispered as they passed each other. 

She shrugged, scratching her head. “I don’t care.” She snapped her mouth. “Something to drink and something easy to eat.” 

He nodded and took some quiet steps down the rotating stairway to the kitchen. 

“Oh,” Shelby laughed. “I don’t know what’s worse. Roy coming down in his boxers or in yesterday’s clothes!” 

“Yesterday’s clothes,” he answered. He grumbled as he grabbed the ibuprofen bottle. 

Reaching for the fridge he looked over to see his aunt enter the kitchen. “You need to be quiet when you come home,” she reminded him. 

_ She knows,  _ he sighed. “Does anyone else not have a key?” He turned and asked the room. 

Taylor and Shelby both lifted a key from their pockets. 

“I want a key,” he whined. He put two slices of bread in the toaster. “I’m the one who’s  _ actually  _ related to you and you didn’t give me a key!” 

“You’re the only one causing mischief,” Aunt Chris replied sharply in a gruff. 

“A key is for those who come home on time,” Taylor quickly added. 

“For those who come in on time,” he mocked in a high voice. 

“You’re the one waking everyone up with your scurrying on the roof.” Taylor stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Because you locked me out,” Roy glared back. “And here I thought we were friends!” 

Shelby snorted a laugh. “That’s funny.” 

The toaster sprung and Roy turned to put butter on the bread. 

“You get up there easy enough, I’m sure that Chris didn’t think she’d need to get you a key.” Shelby took a bite of her banana. 

“Hey,” Roy pointed the butter knife at her. “I was drunk. I could have easily fallen off the roof.” 

“Then don’t get drunk,” they heard Chris answer as she walked back towards the bar. 

“Or Riza,” Shelby said as she raised an eyebrow. 

Roy stopped putting his jam on his bread for a split second before continuing. 

Belle came in from the living room and put her drinking glass in the sink. 

“Do you have a key,” Roy quickly asked. 

Belle nodded. “Don’t you?” 

“Aunt Chris! I want a key!” 

“Ask me nicely and I might consider it!” 

Roy frowned. There was nothing like being told to mind his manners in front of your stepsisters. “Aunt Chris, may I please have a key?” 

“I’ll think about it.” 

Roy put a piece of toast in his mouth and walked by Taylor. Shelby handed him two bottles of water with a wink. He rolled his eyes as he reached over Taylor’s shoulder to grab two bananas on the counter before he stumbled up the stairs. 

“Is there something I’m missing here,” Taylor asked as she looked around at the rest of the people in the room. 

“No,” Shelby said as she patted Taylor’s dirty blonde head. “Eat your lunch.”

Riza was already back in bed when Roy returned. She was laying on her back, looking at the ceiling. “It’s addicting,” she sighed. 

“What is,” he asked, putting a banana and a slice of toast on her stomach and opening his. 

“This feeling.” She reached for the bread, putting it in her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. 

Roy chuckled, running his hand through his hair. “This feeling, huh?”

“I never want it to end.” She turned her head to see him as he sat on the bed. “Is this what it feels like after sex all the time?”

He nodded, opening his banana. “You have to love oxytocin.” He chewed the banana thoughtfully, nodding. “I don’t want it to end either.,” he breathed before taking another bite. It came upon him quickly that it didn’t have to end and he grinned, turning his head. “We can do it again.” His fingers reached to tickle her side, Riza giggling and curling inward like a hedgehog to try to hide herself from it. He put the rest of the banana in his mouth, tossing the peel towards the garbage. “I do have enough condoms for the rest of the day.” 

“For a man who isn’t having sex, you have too many condoms.” 

Roy blinked. “You always have to have one on you.” 

“Have you been thinking about this before?” 

He grinned. “You have too,” he said, poking her in her nose. The banana on her stomach was quickly disregarded and she ate the last bit of her toast, as her hands reached up and grabbed at him, pulling him sharply towards her. He could feel the tight grip, his heart picking up as his lips fell onto hers. Roy turned, their lips only parting for a second as he repositioned himself, before they connected again. She tasted soft and sweet, like a morning dessert. It made his body rage with hormones. 

“It’s so weird,” she whispered, staring into his eyes. 

“What is?” He dropped his head into the crook of her neck.

“This. Us.” 

“Then, let now make it weird.” He lifted his head and smiled down at her. 

“No,” she laughed. “Let’s make it weird. I’d rather have it weird than nothing at all.” 

Self-gratification of being not only good but pleasing enough to Riza that she’d want him again, started to settle in. His confidence grew. The softness on his hands, caressed her sides before he tugged at the shirt to be released but her fingers refused to let go of his own. Breathing rose, becoming heavy in his chest with anticipation. 

Taking her pants off was sensual on its own. He pulled her into his lap, her legs wrapping quickly around him. His hands glided up her sides, the shirt sliding with them until her body was free of it. Her hands straight as he pulled the shirt all the way off her, leaving lastly from her fingertips. His hands cupped her face as he kissed her. His lips sliding over hers feeling her mouth open for her tongue to lick at his top lip. He wanted her in so many ways. As her hands mimicked his in taking his shirt off, he only thought about her kisses trailing down to his abdomen, taking his shorts off with her mouth.

Roy opened his eyes as he felt her peck mini kisses up his chest, her hands pulled herself against him. Apparently, she enjoyed his erection by the way she grinded on it. He had to wonder if she knew it was driving him insane? It wasn’t like he wasn’t sensitive, it was that he’d dreamed of these moments for years. To finally feel her against him, to hear her hum and gasp against him only fueled the fire within him. She tilted her hips to grind against him, her legs wrapping tightly around him to bring her closer, and her breasts against his chest, stopped his breath in his throat as he focused on the long run. 

In a swoop of motion, he tossed her onto the bed. He jumped over her, looking into her brown eyes. His hand instinctively reached down to fall between her folds. “You okay,” he asked her as he slipped a finger inside her. She was so wet, probably more so from the last time. Riza nodded with a gasp. She may not have had sex before, but she was very receptive of him. She giggled and moaned, trying to hush herself as he took her breast into his mouth, licking and sucking the nipple. He pulled his fingers from her slick folds and grinded himself against it. The soft warmth that she provided was incredible. He choked on air. He simply forgot how to breathe as he felt her. He jumped up, seeing her watch him as he crossed the room to get a condom. It was at this moment he wished he had a lock on his door. He didn’t want anything to ruin this, to interrupt them. It wasn’t because it was sex, but because it was a dream and Roy had no intentions of waking up. 

He scrunched on his bed as his mouth liked between her wet legs. Her smell was rich, alluring, begging his tongue to dip and taste. His hands massaged her thighs and he felt her tense. Looking up, he saw she was nervous, her brows narrowing inward. 

“You don’t have to do that,” she said quickly. 

“Let me,” he argued kindly. It made sense she’d be nervous about this, but his mission was to inspire her to enjoy it. He’d bring her to the edge of heaven, let her see that there are better things than the first time. He didn’t feel her relax under his hands and he waited. 

“I just… “ She inched from her. “It’s weird.” 

“Okay,” Roy let go of her, trying his best to now show his own disappointment. “It’s okay.” He scooted next to her and put his fingers inside her. “But we have to get you worked up a bit more anyway.” They’d just have to get to that later when she was ready. He felt her insides, watching and feeling  _ her.  _ It was an exploratory mission to find out what made Riza tick. If he planned, which he did, on doing this more often, he wanted to at least be good at it. When her body flinched and he heard her breath skip, he knew he had found it. 

“Oh,” she said loudly.

“Shh,” he hushed her with a grin. 

“That’s ….” 

Roy moved his finger again to brush against her cervix wall. 

“Ah!” 

“I’m not hurting you?” 

Riza blinked. “It’s… It’s really sensitive.” 

He could only chuckle as he did it again, amused as watching her body involuntarily jump. 

There was a short pause before he entered her. He had to. Roy had to recognize what was going on, because it still didn’t feel real. Earlier it didn't feel real either. When her hands reached up to his face, one combing through his hair, he breathed softly, appreciative of her loving touch. Her touch hadn’t changed from those years ago. The love was there as it always had been. The union between them started years ago. It didn’t happen on a morning where they found themselves tangled in one another, nor now when their bodies connected under the blankets with hushed gasps and the feeling of electricity from their toes to fingers. For Roy, it was when his handheld hers in the childish grasp of two friends. He may not have understood the true meaning of that action at the time, but he understood  _ now  _ what it meant for today. Like holding her hand as they walked through the yellow wheat, the moment which they celebrated now would change what they were to each other. 

His hands ran up her arms, finger interlacing as he held them above her head. He buried his nose in her neck, feeling her pull away and scrunch to avoid the sensitive tickle. His thrusts were soft, slow so that she wasn’t overwhelmed. His abs tightened as he crunched, fingers running down her side to hold her hip. He wanted to say that her skin felt like silk, but it was softer than that. It was soft like fresh rose petals, a pink glow like the early hours of dawn, and warm like a warm breath on a cool summer’s day. His eyes connected with hers, always easily getting lost in them, like a child running in the forest. He’d been running in her dark brown eyes since he saw her. Looking for her in her own eyes, only to find himself so happy to just stop and be. Her lips tasted sweet, not candy or juice, but a soft aftertaste of sunshine. That was the only thing he could ever describe it as. And somehow Roy was thankful he was her first. It wasn’t possessive. He just wanted her first to be perfect. There shouldn’t be a level of fear, or anticipation. Even if there was on his side, and he was fighting a fierce battle with performance anxiety, he didn’t want her to have any negative connotations about sex. Roy wanted to give her what she should expect from all the others, if there would be any others. And he hoped not. That was possessive. 

His hands guided her hips to slant, to move with him, and she let him. It was as if she trusted him. Riza wasn’t going to fight him or awkwardly be stiff and uncomfortable. She breathed deep and let him love her. As deep as she’d let him he dove. Her hands didn’t know what to do. It amused him to feel her hands run from his back, to his sides where they slipped up and down in jagged bursts, before returning to his back. His hands ran up her arms, finger interlacing as he held them above her head. He buried his nose in her neck and listened to her giggle, pulling away from him. Kisses trailed to her breasts as she continued to giggle, his hands now trailing down her arms. His senses were overloaded with Riza, and everything Riza. It was his skin that tingled as his fingers fell over her body. It was he who moaned when he kissed her. It was his heart that was hers. 

Despite the newness to the experience, her orgasms were strong, imploding around him as he failed to hold the flood gate shut any longer. His lips covered hers, even though her attempt to be quiet. His body seized, shuddering with the release of both of them. He could barely see as her head fell back, but he felt her fingers dig into his back. He’d have to remember to put a shirt on to hide their deviant behavior. It felt as if she was reaching for something to hold onto, as if she was going to fall. And as she came down from the ecstasy of each other, her mouth opened wide to gasp in a recovering breath. His shoulder opened his chest to give him air as he grinned down on her. With his index finger, he swept some hair that was stuck to her forehead to the side. “Are you okay,” Roy asked again. 

She nodded. “Oh yeah,” she replied with a grin. “I’m fine.” 

His toes mingled against hers and they snickered. Her brown eyes squinted with happiness, her mouth open wide as if to let out a boisterous laugh only to omit a roughly hushed gasp. 

He felt her hand run over his scar, brushing her fingers up and down it as if she was painting it. With the noise that had increased downstairs, they donned clothes once more, but remained still, sealed together under the covers. Her hot breath drifted across his abdomen and her ear listened to his gentle breathing as the air filled his lungs. Roy only wished it was him listening to her heart. He, instead, pulled her closer to him. Sleep engulfed their bodies, and before he could kiss the top of her golden head, he sunk deeper into his pillow and resigned. 

Life had finally been fair to him. He might not be old enough to properly complain, but he had his fare of hardships. From a teen to today, all he wanted was to hold Riza, to feel her breathing as she snored lightly in her sleep. He wanted to feel her, kiss her, hear his name in a delicate gasp from her lips. Hardest was the days after he turned eighteen. It was the three years between them that drove him to the brink of insanity. Then the military. It should have fixed him. He tried other women, he tried to move to be an adult without her. But Riza never faded from his dreams. She was always on a picture in his pocket. In the back of his mind, he knew he was going to go back to her. No one, not even the enemy could stop him. 

One day, she’d be his wife. She’d be his to hold forever. 

Even when they woke up and the window was dark with the night, they didn’t rush to get out of bed. Riza only complained that his bed was too small, which he quickly agreed. A wafting smell of dinner lured them out of the bed and into the kitchen. The whole family was there, cleaning up from dinner. It was mostly a blessing since that meant that he didn’t have to deal with the family sit down bullshit. He wouldn’t have doubted that at one point Shelby or Catherine probably tried to wake them, only to find them too asleep.

“There is the son,” Shelby grinned, leaning on her fist. “Go drinking one night and you get to sleep all day?”

Roy grunted as he sat down at the table, Riza sitting next to him. 

“You’re late,” his Aunt grumbled. 

“Are there any leftovers?”

“I ate it all,” the youngest grinned, drying off a plate. 

Roy only glared at her immaturely, sticking his tongue out. 

“Good morning,” Catherine smiled at Riza. 

She smiled back. “I slept too much I think…” 

His older step sister offered his girlfriend a roll which Riza quickly accepted. 

“I’m so freaking hungry.” She grinned. 

“We put most of it away,” Catherine thumbed the fridge. “Skinny midget over here,” she then thumbed Taylor, “didn’t eat it all.” 

“What did you make,” Roy asked, getting up to get to the fridge. The kitchen and dining area was small, not meant for more than 3 or 4 people so it was a tight squeeze. Shelby was going the other way and they both had to squeeze by. She then turned and opened the door to the bar. 

“Food,” his aunt gruffed an answer. “Eat it or don’t, but you don’t get choosy if you don’t sit at the table with the rest of us.” 

“I think it may be a touchy subject,” Riza whispered to Catherine. 

“I’m here now,” he said plainly as he looked in the fridge. “Yup, ordering a pizza.” 

He saw it coming, and he laughed before the wash towel hit his shoulder. Riza looked on, not phased in the least bit as she’d seen this before. “Get out,” Chris yelled, Roy retreating in a fit of laughter. 

“But I’m hungry…" Riza frowned, glaring at him. 

“ _ You _ can stay,” Belle said as she opened the fridge next.

“Come on,” Roy pouted, sitting back down to Riza. “I’m everyone’s favorite.” 

“Taylor at least showed up on time,” Chris said in her coarse voice, which Taylor then stuck her tongue out at her foster brother. 

Roy leaned back in his chair, putting his arm on the back of Riza’s. He watched the scene unfold around him. Riza and Catherine were talking as Belle pulled out some cool beef and cabbage soup. His aunt handed the last bowl to Taylor who dried it and put it in a pile next to her. She shook her hands, tossing the towel on the counter only to be reprimanded by Chris. The weird part was when Catherine passed by them to go into the bar, she gave a sly smirk to Roy. His eyes squinted. There was a slight wonderment of how many family members knew what they were doing up there besides sleeping? Taylor might joke about it, he wouldn’t take his Aunt to be that naive, Belle might not care, and neither Shelby. He didn’t respond back to her with any smirk but kept his face neutral. His fingers gently swayed up and down Riza’s spine. He didn’t want to stop touching her, and maybe that was what gave him away. It didn’t keep him from doing it. The whole room could know and he wouldn’t stop. 

_ Would she be embarrassed about it?  _ He hadn’t taken that into consideration.

Riza leaned back, his hand flattening against her and she stayed there as Belle handed her a bowl and another roll. His hand waved against her.  _ That is how they know.  _ He mentally hit his head.  _ They all know.  _ But did she know they knew? Even as he sipped at his own soup, he resisted resting his hand on her thigh. It felt like they were back in school, hormones raging, and age being the main factor in separation. But, damn it, did he love her. Age wasn’t a factor anymore. They were what they needed to be: together. 

* * *

There was an extra bounce in his step as he walked down the hall. A coffee cup in hand, folders under his arm, Roy couldn’t help but smile as he turned the corner. He nodded to a couple of officers, stopping at his door to unlock it. There was nothing that could ruin his Monday. He was able to wake up with the love of his life, grab a coffee and a muffin with her, and kiss her a good morning as he dropped her off at the dorm. The only regret he had was that he had to drop her off, but it was redeemed by a “see you tonight,” before she kissed him once more. It was also the first time in months that he left his door open as he sat at his desk. He sipped his coffee, opening his folder and began reading the reports. Even the pieces of paper with the generic letters over them did not get under his skin.

“Mustang.” 

Roy looked up to see a Sergeant in the doorway. 

“You have been requested to attend the debrief of the Mount Seal advancement.” 

“Was it successful?” Roy stood up, grabbing his uniform jacket. 

“In some ways.” 

Roy didn’t even like these meetings. They were usually dull, regarding the line’s movement and the management of the troops. He was sure his Colonel liked him there not for his support, but because of his first-hand experience. However, Roy’s knowledge of the field was not what they expected from him. Most of the meetings would be sat in silence, taking notes and nodding as if he cared. His presence had no influence on their decisions, he was just there for show. 

Roy shrugged off the meeting, putting on his jacket and straightening it out. Today, it wasn’t going to bother him. He had to focus not to smile as he daydreamed of the night before. Though they couldn’t sleep very much, due to their overindulgence of slumber throughout the day, the two of them still held each other and giggled into the dark. When they did fall asleep, they’d fallen on the floor in a heap of blankets. The memory of her fingers sliding down his chest, twirling around his scar, was enough to make him uncomfortable during the meeting. He crossed his legs, fighting the blush like a schoolboy. 

“Major, what is your opinion on this advancement?”

_ Ah, opinions.  _ They were the death of good officers. There were no opinions. Opinions were your own thoughts and feelings and no facts or trained rhetoric from Bootcamp. Only higher up officers, Generals, were able to have opinions. He’d tell them that he thought the advancement should stop there and wait for the left to follow forward, but they’d only say they thought it should turn inward or forward on. When Roy was asked his opinion, he was always prepared with a practiced answer. “I think that you have it right, Sir.” 

“I wasn’t asking if I was right or wrong,” Colonel Fairbanks raised his voice. 

Apparently, Roy was daydreaming a bit too hard. 

“I was asking if the advancement of the line here was too fast?”

Roy looked at the map, nodding as if he was thinking.  _ Would it matter if it was or wasn’t?  _ The next best thing was to recall a piece of the military academy textbook. “If the line moves too fast, we thin the line.” 

“Then you think it’s advancing too fast?” Another officer leaned on the table. 

_ I joined the military, not politics.  _ “Only if the supplies are not there.” 

“Have you been listening to what I have been saying?” Colonel Fairbanks stood up in his proud, square-shouldered stance, crossing his arms and scowling at the young Major. 

Roy tried not to look guilty. “I’m sorry, Sir.” 

His Colonel turned from him and pointed to the map. “Call Captain Williamsted and send the tanks to the right. I want to push the line to the left.” 

_ Then what was my opinion?  _

It still didn’t leave him in a bad mood. He still stood tall, rounding the corner to see Maes in his office. “Hey,” he greeted as he opened the door. 

“You never visit me,” Maes sat back in his seat. “Usually I have to search you out.” 

“I’m walking by.” Roy looked around the office, though he had seen it before. There were at least three photos of his wife, one in which he was in it with her. He had two badges that were in a shadow box, hanging above a picture of the two of them on their way towards the front. In fact, most of his office was covered in pictures. “It’s like a Kodak advertisement studio in here,” he joked. “Isn’t all this distracting?”

“Why? Surrounded by my loved ones?”

“Everyone is staring at you.” Roy lifted his eyebrow as he brought his coffee mug to his lips. 

Maes shrugged off the comment and leaned back in his chair. It whined and creaked as he leaned back, his feet dropping crossed on the desk. “You look entirely too happy,” he said slowly, raising his eyebrow. His antenna bounced as Maes shifted his head. “What are you up to?”

“Up to? I’m innocent!” 

“Yeah,” Maes snorted, crossing his arms. “As innocent as… You got laid didn’t you?” He about jumped from his seat, throwing himself forward with big eyes. 

Roy indicated for Maes to settle down, not to make a scene. 

“It’s written all over your face!” 

“Calm down.” 

“Roy, it’s been forever!” Maes stood up and leaned over the desk. “Talk about a dry spell!”

Roy sat down in a chair and rolled his eyes. But it was a big deal to be honest. It was not only that he got laid, but he slept and held Riza Hawkeye all night. It was surreal as he thought about it. It didn’t mean that there weren’t fireworks and trumpets playing in the background. He just wasn’t going to be  _ that _ guy. 

“Now you two have to get married and -” 

“Maes,” Roy stopped him. “She’s just figuring this out.” 

“You look like you have this all figured out.” Maes grinned and sat back down. “What, you have wanted this since…” 

“Too long.” Roy leaned back, crossing his legs. “But I’m not going to talk to you about this.” 

“Prude,” his friend snorted. “How many kids are you going to have.” 

“Maes,” he warned. 

“Better get invitations ordered.” 

“Maes.” 

“Do me a favor and name your son after me.” 

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

“I’m just celebrating with you.” 

Roy took another drink of his coffee. “This isn’t even what I came in here for.” 

Maes put his feet back on the desk, running his hand through his hair with a winning grin. “Then what did you come in for?”

Roy shrugged. “Just in a good mood and thought I’d say hi.” 

Maes continued to grin. “Hello then.” 

Roy stood up and brushed his legs off. “I’m off then. Leave you to all,” Roy waved his hand to all the pictures, “all the staring people.” 

“Congratulations friend.” Maes lifted a hand as he chuckled. 

Roy threw a wave over his shoulder and steered from the office. He still caught himself thinking how soft a delicate she felt. In the dark light, he could see her curves by the little light he had on his desk which softly illuminated the room. Her blonde hair, messy and wild, shimmered as she wiggled against him, a heavy sigh would follow. As he sat down, he remembered how her breasts felt as they pressed against him, how his side felt calm when he laid on it. His nose buried in her hair as she was pulled into his chest. “I’ve got to get a bigger bed,” he muttered to himself. 

When they had woken for the day, her lips on him was all he needed to wake up as it was all he needed to stay asleep. He reached behind him, turning the alarm off, rolling off the bed in the process. They’d crept down the stairs as two deviant teens would, avoiding getting caught sneaking out late at night. He pressed her against the cold wall, her hands pulling his jacket, his fingers pressing onto her ribs, as his lips dominated hers. Then she walked into the dorm building. As he stood there, and it’d stay with him all day, he swore he watched her roll her bottom lip inward. She didn’t look back, though he did, as they went their separate ways. 

Roy rose from his desk and headed out of his office towards the education hall. It wasn’t like he could get any studying done with her itching in his brain. It was only an hour class but he bet that she’d fill that hour by reminding him of how her fingers brushed through his hair, and how light brown, caramel in color, her eyes were; sweetly smiling at him. He got out his phone before walking into the doorway. 

‘ **Thinking about you.’**

That’s all he could say without writing her a novel on how sweet she tasted. He’d keep that book to himself. 

One of the greatest benefits to taking courses with the military was two times a week, a professor was contracted to come to the headquarters and give an hour lesson. He still had the option of going to the University, but the program he was in was mostly self-study. The idea was that soldiers would be able to educate themselves in military topics, however it became something more than that. The classes were never that full and Roy enjoyed the break from the mundane. And, he was getting paid to do it. There were those benefits to the military. His concentration, what little there was, was broken when his phone vibrated in his pocket. His hand itched to answer it. The notes he was taking were forgotten, the teacher’s voice drowned out, his vision narrowed on the whiteboard, and his heart rose in his throat. It wasn’t a second more when the class ended, the assignment was given, that Roy’s hand dove into his pocket. 

**‘Can’t wait to see you.’**

A grin grew slowly on his face. The pep in his step came back, with the book under his arm, he made his way back down the hall to his office. It was going to be a long day, but if she was at the end of it, it’d be worth the wait. 

* * *

His pen tapped excitedly on his desk as he watched the clock tick. His mind was elsewhere and the reports on his desk were forgotten. He wanted to go inspect the armory with another Major, but that’d been forgotten. 

“What are you staring at?”

Roy looked up to see Maes standing in the doorway. He blinked as his pen stopped tapping. 

“You are love-struck. Oh, I thought you were bad before, give you a little under the sheet lovin’ and you’re emotionally compromised.” 

“I am not.” 

Maes laughed loudly. “She’s got you whipped hard!” 

Roy snorted with a grin. “Spanked mostly.” 

“I can see you into that.” His friend blew a stray hair from his face. “I talked to Gracia and she wanted to know if you two wanted to go to dinner.” 

Roy didn’t want to. He wanted to keep Riza to himself tonight. Maybe he’d talk her into going to the movies, even if it was at the college theatre. He wanted to take her out and treat her the way he feels about her. His pen resumed tapping as he looked at his papers. 

“I promise we won’t say anything,” Maes bribed.

He didn’t bite. He was really tempted to buy a hotel room just so they’d have a bigger bed. They could order room service, get some wine, and be together without interruption. 

“She’s fixing quiche.” 

He’d take her flowers, tell her that he loves her.  _ Or would I be smothering her? I could always wait for her to message me first.  _ He didn’t want to sound desperate. 

“Roy,” Maes said loudly, snapping his fingers. 

“I’m here,” he lied. 

“I will even pick up a case of your favorite beer.” 

“I’m not sure Riza will have time. I have to check with her.” He leaned back in his seat and frowned. What if she didn’t have time for him? Would she really be the one to say no? The teaching degree was really important to her and it wasn’t like he had his own studying to do. “We both have things to do,” he said, folding one hand over the other, his fingers kneading the top of his hand. 

“At least you come over.” 

Roy sat up straight in his chair and put his hands on his desk. “I have things I need to get done. I have a few drafts to work on and I have to write a paper.” He did have to do these things, but it didn’t mean that he  _ was  _ going to do these things. 

“Seriously?” Maes raised his eyebrow. 

“Can I take a raincheck? Next week would be better.” Roy grinned, fakely. “I can get a plan with Riza and we will make it a date.” 

“Fine,” Maes lamented with a flick of his wrist. “I will just tell Gracia that her quiche did not get you to come over.” 

“That’s low.” 

“Every time I turn around, you two are here chit-chatting.” 

“Colonel, Sir!” Both men jumped up and saluted. 

The man crossed his arms. “What’s the latest gossip today?”

“Hughes here was just asking me to dinner.” 

“Oh?”

“No, I was asking him to come over to my house for dinner.” 

“I see.” 

Roy tried not to facepalm. “His wife was making quiche. They were asking me to join them.” 

“So you two are not a couple?” The older man stroked his mustache before pointing from one to the next. “With all the time you spend talking…” 

Maes chuckled nervously. “No, Sir.” 

The Colonel nodded slowly. “Major Mustang. Things are getting hot over in the command center. I want you to spend a bit more time there.” 

“I’m working on a training session.” 

The Colonel frowned. “I know what you do, Mustang.” 

Roy looked at Maes who was slowly slipping from the doorway.  _ Traitor.  _

“I want to start pushing you to help us command. I know you have great qualities in field command. You have experience on both ends. I want you to start adding your input to our overall meetings.” 

It was a dangerous request, not that Roy had much to say about it. It also meant that the Colonel was looking to promote him. He was already too young to be a Major, his Colonel always had a liking to him. But a Major had no reason to be in those meetings without a known cause. He specialized in training and organizing classes in the academy. He had field command experience, not office command. Roy wasn’t going to argue with his superior officer and nodded. 

“I am going to email you several meetings I need you to be at. Don’t be late, Major.” 

Roy nodded with another salute. “Sir.” 

His smile left, and his chest tightened with anxiety. He didn’t like the idea of that. Things shouldn’t be that serious that they were asking him in. He sat back down in his chair, staring at his work. They could be training him to go back into the field. It was highly unlikely, but they could be. It worried him.  _ Why do they want me in an office like that? _

The phone buzzed in his pocket and his worry was tossed aside. He pulled it from his phone to see a new text. 

**‘Miss you.’**

He smiled softly,  **‘miss you too,’** he typed. His face relaxed and he looked to the side at his architecture book. The realization of not seeing Riza hit him. There was too much that he had to get done. Maybe he wasn’t going to get to see her. There was too much that needed to be done. And if they wanted them in the command center more, there’d be less time to do his homework. He sighed, tapping the pen again on his desk. His sigh was heavy with defeat. 

The only thing that wasn’t defeated was his lasting memories of her tender laughs while his fingers assaulted her sides. That memory could get him through the day. He smiled again as he leaned over his desk and reached for his calculator. He’d get a moment with her today. He’d get just one kiss in if that’s all he was able to reach. But nothing was going to stop him. The second he saw her, he was going to march up to her and kiss her. It may be the only kiss they get, but he was going to make sure she knew he’d been thinking about her the whole day. 

* * *

It wasn’t like he got a bit of rest. From one end of the headquarters to the next, and farther than he could have gone, Roy stayed busy. It was one of those days that he wished he wasn’t a Major. 

“What do you mean Diego is out of the office?” Roy grumped into the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s not my responsibility.” He leaned forward onto his desk, dropping his elbows on it and hitting his funny bone. He made a funny face as the officer on the other line talked loudly with him through the line. “Sir, it’s not even my department!” 

It was useless to argue it. He hung up the phone and looked up at the clock. He was so close to being gone, and they had to have him reach into another department. That meant going off-site and into an enrollment/recruitment center. “Fuck you, guys.” He growled as he grabbed his uniform black jacket and headed out the door. As he got into his car he pulled out his phone. The rings were long, slow, and far between. He swallowed, hoping he wasn’t calling during class. He couldn’t remember if she was in class or not. 

Maybe it wasn’t as long as he thought it was, but it was longer than he would have wanted to be. “Hey, Roy,” Riza greeted on the other end of the phone. 

Roy put his car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. “Hey! I was wondering if we could get together,” he asked right off the bat. 

“You have something in mind?” 

He did. He had plenty of ideas. “Just something, for a short time. Or it can be all night, but it doesn’t have to be. I just miss you, that’s all.” 

“I would love to get together with you.” He heard a door shut in the background. “What time and where?” She sounded excited, her voice higher pitch and he could hear her smile. 

“Want to get a cup of coffee with me? I’m going to be up late finishing some things.” He wanted to spend more time than a cup of coffee with her. But she sounded busy, sounded as if she was already on the run. He had homework to do as well. Maybe it was a good idea for them not to spend  _ that  _ kind of time together. 

“I would love to. Want to mee at Downtown Blues? We can sit on a bean bag and listen to music.” 

“Okay.” 

“You get off at five?

“It’s going to be five-thirty.” He sighed. 

She hummed on the other end of the phone. “I can still do that. I think they close at eight.” 

“We can always meet at my place,” he snickered. 

“We wouldn’t get anything done.” He could hear her snort a laugh through her nose. “I’m going to be up for most of the night nonetheless. See you there at six?”

“See you then, Riza. Love you.” 

“Love you too, Roy.” 

Just hearing her voice had calmed his rage at this additional task. As he parked his car, he grabbed a notebook and a stack of papers and marched through the front doors. It was a simple office, generic propaganda on the walls. There were two desks, two large filing cabinets, and a scale. It was plain white, like the halls at headquarters, plain wooden desks and two officers sitting behind them. One was a chubby fellow, the other short and stocky but not heavy. The two were supposed to be exemplary officers, requiting and selling a standard for the Fuhrer. To Roy, they were not. It almost disgusted him to think that their commanding officer was slacking in this regard. God forbid if his Colonel walked through the door. The heavyset one had not shaved in a couple days, looking between a shaved face and a beard. At least the short one had a defined beard. Only the short one looked up to greet him, only to find out he was a Major. He jumped from his seat, his roller chair flying back to hit the cabinet with a bang. “Sir,” he screamed out as he saluted. The other looked up and jumped up as well. They both stood at attention as Roy looked around. They wouldn’t drop their hands until he saluted back or said so, and if anyone ever gave anyone grief, it was Roy that would dish it. 

“This place could use another layer coat of white paint,” he said casually, looking at the wall. His clapped his hands behind his back as he looked at the poster, leaning close to look at it. “And this glass should be cleaned. There’s dust.” 

The officers stood still while the shorter one answered. “Yes, Sir.” 

“Only one of you agrees?” 

“Yes, Sir,” they said in unison. 

“I’ve been told that your numbers are low.” Roy walked behind then, opening the cabinet. The heavier fellow turned his head only to be quickly corrected. “Look ahead, Master Sergeant.” 

“Sir,” he continued. “We just haven’t had enough people coming in.” 

“And you’re not going out to the fairs?” 

“Thomas and Cleary do that,” he answered again. 

“Keep that salute up, Master Sergeant.”

Roy watched his body stiffen. 

“I don’t care if you have to go to every event, every job fair, every school, you will get your numbers up by the end of this month.” Roy walked back to the front. In the meantime, I want this place repainted.” 

“Yes, Sir.” They answered again. 

Roy sighed. “At ease,” he finally relented, watching the two relax into a stance. “This isn’t even what I do,” he continued quickly. “Do you understand the pleasure that I get for running across town to see a less than acceptable office?” He looked down at his feet. “Is this floor acceptable for the military’s standards? Should both of you go back through the academy to learn how to mop floors?” 

“We don’t have a mop right now,” the short officer said quietly. 

“But you have complimentary toothbrushes,” Roy raised an eyebrow. 

“To think about your decision while you’re brushing your teeth…” 

“What happened to stress balls and notepads?”

They both stood quietly. 

“Should you clean this floor with your spit and a toothbrush?”

They both looked at each other. 

“You’re going to clean this floor.” Roy pointed to the floor and then to the picture. “And clean that frame. If the Fuhrer comes into this office tomorrow, I want him to see this place as clean as his living room. Is that understood?” 

“Yes, Sir!” 

“I don’t want another call about this office.” Roy crossed his arms over his chest and leaned towards the heavier officer with the half beard. “You shave.” 

“But, Si-” 

“Shave,” Roy demanded. “I’m in training. Training! So I’m not even out there telling you how to put a bandaid on their boo-boos. I'm here, telling you that your numbers are  _ low.  _ Do you know how that makes me feel?”

“Sir,” the heavier one agreed. “You will see an increase this month.” 

“Oh, we hope so.” Roy tapped his wrist at them as he turned towards the door. “I don’t ever want to be called to do this again.” He opened the door and left. He hated doing it. He hated telling someone how to do their job. That was not in his handbook. Roy liked teaching. It gave him a better excuse to find somewhere to nap or to wander around and look like he was doing something. Most of his students were coming out of the classrooms or were recertifying. It was easy work and if it wasn’t, he sent them back through. 

And as he expected, at five-twenty-seven he clocked out. He took his jacket off, hanging it on a hanger, and shut his office door. He was done with today. He needed at least an hour with his girlfriend, and then he was going to go home and drown himself in his class for two more hours. What started as a glorious day of memories of the night before, turned into Monday hell. The memory of the lights of her skin and the sound of her breath being caught made him grin as he walked out. The top button of his white collared shirt was unbuttoned as he got into his car for the second time. He wasn’t going to go home and change, it wasn’t like they were going out to dinner. He was sure that he could see her in his uniform pants. 

The cafe was playing some soft piano music. It was calm, with a few students at some tables, one looking like a group project. In the other corner were a few bean bags and another table or two. It was cozy. The barista behind the bar gave him a wide smile. Her black hair was short, rounding her face. “What can I get you,” she asked. She was flirting with him as she looked him up and down, raising her eyebrows and looked like she was impressed with him. 

“Can I just get a decaf,” he said simply. “Dark.” 

“You got it,” she said with a nod. 

“There’s a girl that will be coming in about -” he looked at his watch, “four minutes. I’m getting whatever she gets. Just don't cash me out.” 

She nodded, a glimpse of disappointment flashing from her dark eyes. 

He took his coffee and wandered over to the bean bags. One was fuller, with a newspaper nearby. He’d already seen it, read some of it, but he casually looked through the pages.  _ West City’s General steps down. Mercury's shoes is going out of business. _ Roy flipped through another page. _ Oh! And let’s not forget the city is building new flower beds on Saturday.  _ “What great news we have today.” He looked up to see Riza walk through the doors right on time.  _ Never late.  _ He stood up, putting his hands in his pockets as he strolled over to her. 

“A caramel latte and can I also get a ham and cheese croissant please?” 

“You got it,” the barista nodded. 

“Glad you made it,” he greeted. “I was starting to worry you were going to be late.” 

She playfully whacked his stomach with the back of her hand. He stepped back, holding his side as she hit him. He grinned, chuckling with good humor. Roy leaned down, kissing her gently. Surely the barista was going to poison Riza’s drink now. “I missed you,” she admitted as they parted. 

“Not as much as I missed you.” 

“It’s been hard today. I just couldn't focus.” She turned and reached to take her latte. “This paper needs three academic references. Three! I’m going to need to spend all night at the library. I’m not sure where to get academic resources on the history of 1700s musicians.”

“How does this pertain to teaching music?”

Riza shrugged. 

“And the gentleman behind you paid for your coffee and croissant.” The barista smiled. 

She elbowed him with a grin. “You’re sneaky.” 

He only laughed and nodded towards the bean bags. He plopped down in one thinking that she’d pull one over to him, but she instead sat right next to him, her back to his shoulder. “This works,” he snickered. It was a big enough beanbag, more comfortable being closer to her than his bed. She wiggled against him, making her spot comfortable on the large beanbag. He watched as she pulled out a textbook and opened it up. Her lips softly cupped the mug’s lip as she took a smooth sip from it and leaned into him with a sigh. 

“I’m so glad I can have some time with you.” She leaned her head back resting it on his upper arm.

He turned his head, kissing the top of her head with a smile. “Me too,” he whispered. Roy reached for the paper, turning it to the crossword page. “Do you have a pencil?”

She nodded, passing one from her bag. 

They sat comfortably, leaning against each other, not needing to say anything. It was soothing, refreshing, just to feel her against him. He wrote in answers to his crossword puzzle, smelling her shampoo, floral with a slight hint of… citrus? It didn’t matter, he took every stressor of the day away. There was no “how was your day” or “let me tell you this!” He expected talking, and was ready to hear to go off about some class, but it wasn’t that at all. Maybe that was all she needed. After a hectic day for both of them, maybe what they needed was silence. Through the mild piano playing from the speakers, he heard her breathing. It was light, regular and steady. One would easily miss it if they weren’t trying to hear it. It reminded him of why she was good at shooting when they were kids. She was so soft in her breaths that the gun would sway very little. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her finger gliding along the text. He wasn’t sure what specific thing she was studying, and it didn’t matter. 

One question came up and instantly his smile grew. He knew the answer, knew she knew the answer, but was going to ask her anyway. “Clair de Lune,” he asked in a whisper. His grin was wide as he heard her snort a laugh. 

“You know it,” she answered. 

He hummed, tapping the pencil on the paper. “It’s right on the tip of my tongue. If only I had studied French more.” 

“How many letters?” 

“Does that matter?” He raised an eyebrow. 

She turned and looked at his puzzle. “It’s moonlight,” she answered quickly, going back to her study. 

He chuckled. “I love you,” he breathed into her hair before kissing the crest of her head. 

“I love you too,” she answered, snuggling into him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... I said that this might be a bit late... but even in all the editing that I'm doing, I still was able to get everything done. I can't say for 14. There's just a lot going on. So I appreciate your patience. You guys rock! I need more days in the week! And this COVID19 isn't helping anything! 
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Send me a comment and fuel that fire to get 14 rewritten!   
> Thank you for reading! You're the reason why I'm writing.   
> Hope you stay well.


	14. You don't understand me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy is gone at work for longer than Riza expected. That causes her a little anxiety. And when Roy agrees to get his own place, she's no exactly thrilled to move in with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rando made this possible to get it out on time. Give him a thanks when you get a chance!

Her head fell onto the table with a loud “thunk.” She was only starting her paper and she was already mentally exhausted. She had three books open with colored tabs, highlighters, and even colored pens, and only a few pages in her notebook were filled with valuable notes. The topic was dull, sparking little interest, and Riza frowned as she flipped another page with her cheek on the desk. She never wanted to read about this again, and she promised herself never to teach it. But if she was truthful to herself, Riza would admit that she was too distracted to study. Her mind swam elsewhere, in a river of calm waters and soothing springs which Roy Mustang called her in.  _ Actually, a hot spring sounds nice, _ she smiled with a bright blush. 

“You can do it, Riza,” a piping voice behind her encouraged. “Maybe take a break.” 

She groaned again as she sat up. She pulled her long hair from her face and started pulling it back into a clip. She had called Roy but there were only sad excuses and reasons why the world was keeping them apart. Being responsible was the most agonizing part of being an adult. 

Sheska frowned. “You’ve been thinking about him this whole time haven’t you?” Her roommate read her like a book. 

“Not the whole,” Riza turned in her seat. “Just most of it.” 

Sheska only laughed at her lie as she leaned back on her bed. It irritated her that Sheska had invested so much attention into their lives and relationship. She seemed to obsess over it sometimes. Although she could say that Maria was also rooting for the two of them, the biggest difference was in the investment. Sheska liked a good story, there was no doubt. But Maria was a fact reader, she’d rather hear from the source and make her own decisions. 

“As if you have a boyfriend to obsess over,” Riza remarked lowly. 

“Hey! I have a boyfriend!” Sheska didn’t always talk about her personal life. She was too wrapped up in Riza’s. 

Riza only raised an eyebrow at the new information, feeling like challenging her roommate’s defense. 

“His name is Mason,” she quickly answered before Riza could rebuke. “And he is one hot stud. He’s a hot football player who comes to the library to study.” She heard Sheska giggle. “ He worked as a butcher so he’s wide with big strong arms. But, he’s so loving and so attentive. It’s like he remembers exactly what makes me tick! Sometimes I just want to stay with him forever!” She pulled her feet together, knees wide, and wavered back and forth and a far off daydreaming look. 

_ It figures it’d be at the library.  _ Riza turned back to her blank page and continued tapping her pen. There was music down the hall, but no parties. It was quiet. Her mind was the complete opposite. It rushed through the anxiety of her homework and all the thought circling Roy and how he was. She needed sleep. She needed sleep with _him_. She wanted to just curl up to his chest.  _ That’s what I need. I need sleep. I wonder if he's thinking about me too?  _ Riza looked back down at her paper. “Religious music the 1500s that have influenced throughout the centuries and into today’s music... Ahg!” Her head hit the table again. 

“This is your thing,” her mousy friend continued to support from behind her. “Just listen to some music. Get into the zone.” 

She needed to get out and go for a walk. Even if it was just to clear her head, she needed to step away from her frustration. She stood up and grabbed her light jacket. “ I guess I will go out for a walk,” she sighed. Her body felt heavy and her mind still raced with thoughts of how warm his chest was, or how he whispered her name. She slipped on her dirty sneakers and opened the door. Maybe the walk would clear her mind.  _ Ha! Who are you kidding? _ As she rode down the elevator she looked at her phone.  _ I could call him, just to see what he’s up to. I can’t expect him to drop everything to see me, but hearing him might help.  _

“Hey there,” he answered. “I was just thinking about you.” She could hear someone in the background yelling at him. 

“Bad time?” Riza looked around her as they walked across a field next to her dorm. The amount of noise sounded like he wasn’t even doing his homework. The sigh she let out did not make her chest any lighter. She could have escaped with him after all. Both of them could use it.

“No,” he quickly answered. “Taylor, will you shut up? How are you?” There was a scuffling sound and some laughter in the background.

“I’m overrun with notes,” Riza cried pathetically. “I can’t do anymore today.” 

He laughed before he pulled the phone away from his face. He got very quiet which she figured he had covered the mic but she still could hear him. “I swear to God, Taylor! Go away!” There was some ruffling before he came back to her. “I’m sorry, Riza. So, you’re overrun?”

“It’s just too much to take in all at once.” 

“Go out for a walk. I can meet you at that diner on the corner of the campus. We can grab some pie and coffee.” 

“Or we can get a hotel room and fuck today,” Riza said with a blush as she stopped and looked towards the road that had the diner on it. 

“Don’t tempt me. If I didn’t have a year's worth of work to do. Come to find out, crash courses to get a degree faster also means doing twice the work.” 

“Don’t you have to work tomorrow?” She unintentionally started walking towards the diner. 

“Eh,” he chuckled. She heard a door shut. “I do, but I have to get this coursework done. It’s not like I’ve been without sleep before. What’s an hour break? I’m sure we both can use it.” 

“I’m guessing I’m saving you from a teenage disaster,” Riza laughed.  _ We both need this. There’s no denying it. _

“You have no idea. Did you know that ninety percent of a teenager’s anxiety comes from boys?”

“No,” she snickered. “I had a great boyfriend.” 

He chuckled back. 

“She got dumped?” She asked about Taylor in the back.

“The boy she wanted to ask her to the dance, didn’t. But the kid that she didn’t really want to ask, did.” 

“That is drama. I will meet you at Jake’s Diner. I’d love to get in on some of the Mustang’s family drama.” 

“We’re going to have to eat a whole pie.” 

The diner was newer. It’d been refurbished a couple of years ago with fresh dark Limonium and hanging lights that were from this decade. Their pies and pastries were definitely an improvement from what others had claimed, but Riza didn’t find the coffee any better from anywhere else. If she needed good coffee, it was going to have to be a cafe. This late, there were a few students there and one professor that she noticed. She found a quiet corner, ordered a cup of decaf, and watched out the window for a particular car to pull into the parking lot. There was no one else that she could think of that she had such anticipation anxiety to see. She would have pouted more, even ready to get after him for being so late, but she remembered that he lived across town. She’d forgive him for now. 

_ I should have brought my notes,  _ she grumped to herself.  _ I could be at least productive before he gets all my attention.  _ Riza debated running back up to her dorm and grabbing at least her book when Roy walked in, running his hand through his messy hair. He looked like he’d also been up too long. His eyes had growing bags under them and his hair stuck up in all the right places, making it less of a sign of stress and more of a sexy look on him. His shoulders slumped and his gait was slow. He looked like he could use a whole day of sleep. 

“Sorry,” he apologized and he collapsed into the booth’s fake red leather seat. “My aunt came up and chewed Taylor and I’s asses for being loud.” 

“Oh shit. Taylor shouldn’t be up at eleven!” she tried not to giggle. 

“She’s livid,” he snorted. “I think her words were along the lines ‘the only two that don’t have obligations are you two and both of you need to grow the fuck up.’”

“Sounds like her,” Riza agreed. “She’s not far from being right.” 

The two laughed lightly as the waitress came up to them to get their orders. For not seeing each other in the last few days, Riza was hungry for his soft gaze and his cocky smile, the slight curve of his lips that would expose his overconfidence. Her soul ached for his laugh, his jokes and sarcasm alike. Though he groaned about Taylor, Riza felt that they argued because he was so fond of her. For most of his life, his sisters were older than him, even by a couple of years. Taylor was younger. 

“Why don’t you just go strong-arm her dream boy into asking her?”

Roy laughed. “No way. As much as that’s the older brother to do, she’d going to have to learn some core values of disappointment.” 

“That’s cruel.” 

She watched as Roy scrunched his nose at her support for Taylor. 

“Then you get to college and dances are the last thing you have time for,” Riza shrugged. 

“You didn’t do dances,” Roy pointed out. 

“Neither did you.” She squinted her eyes at him. 

“So,” he changed his tone in a flash. “How're your classes?”

Truth be told, the longer she sat with him, the less she wanted to go back. She didn’t want to try to forget his foot rubbing against hers or the light snicker he’d let out when she was venting. 

"They are draining me. I can't wait till break. You?"

“My room has drafting paper all over and at least two books open,” he sighed. “I don’t have room for this shit!” 

“Sounds like you need your own place.” She popped a fry in her mouth. “You and Taylor might be on better terms if you weren’t there. And you’d have room for all your stuff!” 

He nodded, tapping his fingers on the table. “Probably, but Aunt Chris could use an extra hand, and it’s free rent…” 

“What do you do with her bar?”

“I bring alcohol up from the basement.” He leaned his chin on his hand. 

“What about your side?” 

He sighed. “Why do you think I’m on a strict regimen of ibuprofen?”

“I thought that you’d be a bouncer.” She snickered as she began to think of him as a bouncer, standing by the door of a hip-hop club. 

“Used to.” His grin grew towards her joke. “Does that turn you on? Imagining your boyfriend as a big bad doorman who kicks out hooligans?” 

“You turn me on every time I see you in that damn uniform.” It wasn’t a lie. He wore with a prestigious glow, his chest puffed out with crisp lines. The only part that was remotely not part of the uniform was his stupid grin and his hair. She could pick him out of a crowd just by the top of his head. 

He raised his eyebrows. “Well noted.” He sipped his water from the straw. “No, they won’t let me bounce. Shelby and Catherine usually can hold their own. They’ve never really needed one anyway." He took a sip from his water again. “That’s a real reason to get my own place. I don’t need my sisters and aunt hovering over my shoulder asking if I’m feeling okay all day.” 

“How’s your side doing?”

He shrugged, looking indifferent, but Riza could see his over-exaggeration of his answer. “I”m fine. It only hurts when it rains. It feels better when you’re with me and snuggling.” 

Riza blushed involuntarily.  _ I make him feel better? That’s another reason to sleep with him. Give me a reason not to. _

There was something about watching him, like reading a good book. It was addicting and one that she didn’t want to put down. She was more than happy to sit and watch him go on about his workday. It wasn’t like she made him into a statue, one to be on a pedestal and raised above all other men. She wanted to carry him in her pocket, wanted him close by in case she ever wanted to see his dark eyes, or his shaggy hair that was growing over them. She loved the way he pinched the bridge of his nose every time he was frustrated, especially with Taylor, or the way he sat back and ran his hand through his hair when he relaxed. When he was thinking, he’d cross his arms and cross his legs, seemingly shutting himself off from the world to focus on something internally. And now, he was leaned over the table, telling her how he’d beaten Maes on the agility course. His hands waved on the table, his finger drawing a map of the course. He was happy, and that made her happy. 

“I miss you,” he whispered, his hand reaching out to hers. “I wish we had nothing to do and we could just be together. I’ve lost sleep without you by my side.” 

He’d been her distraction when he was away, but she knew it was only going to get worse when they departed in their own ways. Her mind instantly made every excuse for her not to go back to the dorm.  _ I don’t have class till eleven. I need the sleep. I sleep better with him.  _ Then she frowned. “We wouldn’t get any studying done,” she admitted softly. There was that adult disappointment that he was trying to teach Taylor. Riza hated herself for it. 

He sighed loudly. “It doesn’t help the fact that I will be so lonely tonight.” 

That meant he had  _ alternative  _ plans, plans that she had no argument against. It was quite the other way. She’d embrace those ideas completely. “I think I’d really like that,” she smiled. 

He got up, putting Cenz on the table and reached out to her. “Come on, I will drive you home.” 

It’s not like she would get any more homework done, but at least her itch has been partly scratched. It was enough to get her through the night. With each step towards the dorms, she looked back to see his head cocked and a sad smile on his face. He leaned on the top of his car, his chin on his arms, watching her with eyes that begged her to come back. He hated it too. The past two weeks had been fleeting glimpses of each other. 

* * *

Days later she found herself giving in to her passions. Her heart couldn’t help but pick up the pace as her strides neared closer to his Aunt’s bar. The books in her bag became a forgotten necessity while kissing him was on the forefront of her mind. Studying can wait. Instead, she was too wrapped up in the idea of sitting in his lap with her mouth over his as she sucked the air from his lungs. They were going to spend the first minutes remembering what each other feels like. He promised her Xing takeout, with no puddles, and cold beer. Her mouth salivated at the thought.  _ We’re going to sit on his floor, and I’m going to sit in between his legs as we eat our food and read our books. Or maybe we will just forget the books.  _ Riza could feel her muscles tighten, her hands almost shaking with anticipation, and her tongue licking her lower lip to moisten it for his. 

The bar was a usual place at this point. She probably could walk into the back, but it felt more comfortable to be greeted by Cathrine. On the plus side, Catherine and Belle loved her specifically, so they were excited to see her. As she walked through the door, they smiled. “Hey, Riza!” 

Belle’s smile fell the next second. “You’re here to see Roy?”

Riza nodded. 

“He’s not here.” Belle and Catherine looked at each other. “He didn’t tell you?”

Riza’s hand clenched her fist on her bag strap.  _ What don’t I know? What happened?  _ The amount of thinking did not balance her breathing ratio. Her heart had stopped, thinking something was wrong.  _ I thought he just goes to work and comes back. Why isn’t he back?  _

“He had to do a couple more hours.” 

Belle nodded. “He’s not getting back till late. He didn’t message you?”

Riza instantly dug into her pocket for her phone. She had put it on silent after class and forgot to turn it back up. There were two missed calls and a text saying that they’d have to do it tomorrow.  _ How embarrassing.  _ She had made it all the way to the bar without even noticing he’d tried to call her. “I’m sorry,” she smiled, trying to fake her okay attitude. In reality, Riza was very hurt, mostly by herself. 

“Are you okay? You can stay for dinner in thirty minutes.” Belle waved her over. 

“No,” she quickly declined. “I’ve got to study. He just… we were supposed to study,” she smiled weakly. “I can walk home. It’s a good walk.” 

“We hope to see you soon, Sweetheart,” Catherine called as Riza left. 

As soon as the door shut behind her, Riza dialed Roy’s number. It went to voicemail. She then tried to reach his office phone. No answer.  _ Don’t fret,  _ she told herself as she walked briskly back towards the university.  _ He’s busy. He’s just busy.  _ Even when she got back to the dorm, no reply phone call. She couldn’t study. Riza was coming up with fifty different scenarios that were bad.  _ If a training did go bad, his sisters would have known. There is nothing wrong.  _ The thoughts didn't end, even as she crawled under her blankets. She laid against the wall, looking at the lit screen in a desperate hope he'd call.  _ He'd call even if it was this late. Right?  _

Upon waking, there was only one text from Roy.  **‘Hey. Hope you slept well. Still at work. Can't go into detail. Message you when I get out.’**

She read it slowly, then again.  _ He's not hurt… but he can't talk about it? It has to be serious then.  _ It stayed with her the whole day. Her classes were attended with a clouded mind, and anxious eyes which continued to watch her phone's screen. Riza wanted to call Maria, have a sane mind to talk her back to reason. But she didn’t. Instead so continued to stare at the PowerPoint presentation on the wall, seeing words and pictures that were but words and pictures. 

At the end of the day, her phone finally dinged.  **‘I’m sorry,’** it said. The next one came through.  **‘I’m home.’**

That was it. There was no, “hey, come over,” or “see you later.” She expected there to be one. The next thirty minutes matured into anxiety on whether to go over and see him, interpreting it as an invitation, or to stay home because he didn’t outright invite her. She wanted to go, but she surely didn’t want to intrude. The last thing he needed was her to rob him of sleep, even if she just wanted to be there to be there with him. 

**‘Missed you,’** she messaged back, staring at her phone for a few seconds. 

**‘I missed you too,’** he replied. 

Surely he wouldn't be angry if she showed up. But it still wasn't him asking to see her. She grabbed her bag anyway and packed her books into it. She stopped several times, still debating if this was the correct insinuation that he was applying. Then she packed a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, stopping again to moan and look at the ceiling dramatically.  _ I’m rushing things because of the suspense. I’m wanting him because I couldn’t have him before. Stop rushing things,  _ She told herself. 

_ Ding. _

Riza grabbed her phone as if she needed to answer it in five seconds to win 1,000 cenz. She instantly looked at it seeing,  **‘Use the window.’**

_ Boom!  _ That was the defining answer she was hoping for. As she rushed out of the doorway, she brushed shoulders with her mousey roommate. “Don’t wait up for me.” 

Sheska blinked a few times before giggling loudly. “Tell Roy I said hi!” 

_ Could I be an adult and not have to be next to him for twenty-four hours,  _ she chastised herself as she got onto a bus.  _ It’s not like he’s going anywhere, right? _

The bar was full and loud as she could hear it from a block down. They had a band going and there was singing pouring from two open windows. It was certain that his little room would be loud too. Up the side of the house, pulling herself up the awnings and rooftops. The window was open just a little and she slid it up, making a scratching sound from the unlubricated plastic. He didn’t even move from his bed. There wasn’t even a flick of his toes. She knew he didn’t wake because he continued snoring without interruption. The music downstairs was a dull hum and she had to wonder how it didn’t bother him. He was so exhausted that nothing in the world was going to wake him up.  _ I wonder if he had any sleep at all while he was at work? _

Riza shut the window, putting her bag down softly. His table had been moved to prevent his door from being opened.  _ Taylor.  _ She laughed in her head.  _ His aunt. I bet both of them harped on him. He’s so loved.  _ If her father was there, he would either not acknowledge her return, or lecture on how awful she was for hours. Yet his family hovered over him in a continuous umbrella of love and what he would consider incessant nagging. His uniform wasn’t hanging but discarded on the floor, which was most unusual, even looking as if it had been kicked out of the way as it wasn’t folded. His bag was dropped in front of his TV instead of by the closet. The obvious mess made the room seem unorganized even if it was just a few things out of place, but it told her how he’d gotten home and just crashed. She couldn’t just wake him as much as she wanted to.  _ I wonder how much sleep he’d actually gotten while he was gone?  _

She quietly changed into her shirt and pants while she listened to the music below them. He was dead to the world. She turned to solve the puzzle of her getting in bed with him when she noticed his eye barely open and a peaceful smile, one that was so faint that it’d only be noticeable to one who had seen it before. He scooted over with a grunt and a yawn. Something had woken him up. 

“Hey,” he whispered with a dry voice. 

“Hey,” she whispered back, climbing gently next to him. She snuggled into his chest, wiggling her arm under his and under his pillow so she could get closer to him. He was backed against the wall and he sighed warmly, letting a tender hum of pleasure escape from his chest as she wiggled into place.  _ He was probably looking forward to this the whole time. I know I have.  _ The questions and the conversation that she needed were forgotten as she breathed him in. He smelled like he needed a shower, but it didn’t bother her. He smelled like him and she loved it. His breathing was soft and rhythmic, a quiet lullaby for her mind. There was little doubt they were meant for each other as her eyes closed. Her mind quieted and she was in a deep sleep before she was even aware of it. 

The next morning, she heard him get up with a grunt. She didn’t move. No school class could get her out of bed. She’d do the reading later. Riza felt him climb over her and she didn’t move to avoid him slipping off and hitting the ground However, as he steadied himself, she heard the slip and the loud thunk that followed. “Owww,” he whined followed by a “fuck.” It happened anyway. A few seconds later there was the scratching of the desk along the floor and the door opening. There was soft padding of his feet along the hardwood floor. Her ears could easily follow his sounds around the quiet house. It must have been early in the morning because the bar music had stopped, but instead of investigating, Riza stayed where she was and curled up tighter against the cool air that invaded his empty spot on his side of the bed. She then heard his steps making a clumsy way down to the kitchen area. She must have gone back to sleep because she next remembered him crawling over her again to wiggle between her and the wall. “I’m getting a bigger bed.” 

“Get your own apartment and you don’t have to block the door,” she grumped with a yawn. 

“They’d still find a way in,” he groaned. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s four in the morning,” he breathed. 

Waking was easier the second time around. This time he nudged her awake rolling over her in a more organized, and less clumsy manner. She moved, stretching out her stiff joints. Sleeping on a small bed had the joyful benefit of being so intimately close, however, the cons were the inability to move and stretch in her sleep. She watched her drowsy state as he pushed the desk aside again and opened the door. The family was already up and she could hear them down the stairs. Riza made no attempts to go down there. She wanted to avoid the strange looks and or see the insinuation of what could have been going on. She was still tired anyhow. Instead, Riza scratched her messy head and thought about what they could do to stay in bed all day. Her stomach growled and her thoughts quickly went to getting up and finding food. And after a few more minutes of debating if breakfast was worth the trouble, she heard a chorus of “Roy!” _He’s braver than I am._

“Hey,” he nudged her awake. “I brought breakfast,” he offered. 

Roy stood over her.

Riza rolled over to see a bowl of oatmeal and a smiling, tired, Roy Mustang. His hair was in all directions and she could see the dark circles under his eyes. Though she had once thought that he had no style to begin with, he apparently did comb his hair compared to what it was now. She sat up with a light moan and settled on the side of his bed to take the bowl of oatmeal from him. 

“Coffee is still downstairs,” he offered. “I will be back with a cup.” 

Her own messy head looked up to see him eating his breakfast and walking at the same time.  _ I’m sure he’s gotten used to that. I bet he eats on the run at work all the time.  _ The room was still messy and he was in his underwear walking around. There was little care from him, and it made some sense if he had stayed awake the whole time. She looked into the empty oatmeal bowl, deciding that it was time to steal a shower, or at least brush out her hair.  _ Maybe a shower with him... _ It didn’t appear he was in a rush to go to work.  _ Maybe he doesn’t have to go with the long shift yesterday.  _

“Cream and sugar just like you like it.” She looked up from her sleepy thoughts to see he was back. 

“Thank you, Roy.” She took a gentle sip still feeling a thousand questions build up inside her. 

She didn’t have a chance to ask. “The joys of being in the military, I guess,” he chuckled, sitting next to her. 

“Did you sleep at all while you were there?”

He nodded. “I got a few hours. I waited till the radio calmed down and hid in my office for a few hours.” 

“Radio?”

“Just radio traffic,” he assured gently. 

“Why do I feel there’s more to that story?” Her eyes squinted accusingly at him. 

“Even if I wanted to tell you,” he whispered as he leaned close to her lips. She could smell the coffee in his hot breath over her lips. “I couldn’t.” Gently his lips pressed against hers, slipping as he pulled back. 

She tried not to be frozen in surprise, or even in pleasure from the closeness of them. As he sat next to her, Riza turned at the hip to see him. “Well,” she cleared her throat and nodded towards the table. “You should really get your own place.” 

“That’s what you keep saying,” he snorted a laugh. 

“What’s wrong with that? Afraid of living on your own?”

Roy shook his head, running his hand through his black hair. “No. I’m here because it was agreed between me, my aunt, and the doctor.” He scratched the stubble on his cheek. “Maybe I  _ will  _ start looking.” 

“I’m just saying,” she insisted, “You’re a grown man with a very successful job.” 

He laughed. 

“You could be the youngest Major in Amestrian history and still living with your mom.” 

There was a long pause before he nodded with another sip of coffee. “Would you move in with me?”

“Maybe.” 

She watched him frown. “Maybe? You don’t seem excited about it.”

“It’s a big commitment,” she argued too quickly. It was. “I would visit often, though.”

“Riza,” he tilted his head at her. “You have no problem jumping into other scenarios.” 

He wasn’t wrong. This wasn’t a ‘scenario’ to her. This was a lifestyle change. If she moved out of the dorm, she’d have to apply to get back in. She wasn’t entirely financially stable to be on her own. She’d lose her work-study. “I’d be too far from school,” she continued to argue. 

“You can use my car,” he assured. “We could make that work.” 

“If we’re together all the time, I won’t get any studying done.” 

“Riza.” He stood up. Now she felt a thicker atmosphere grow between them. “Why do I feel like you’re just making excuses?” His voice was starting to raise and she could hear the frustration coming out. 

“I’m not,” she lied.

He leaned against his TV stand, being able to look across the room at her, his brows frowned. 

“It hasn’t even been a year yet,” she continued. 

He looked hurt. She didn’t mean to hurt him, she just wanted him to give her some time. 

She sighed. How was she supposed to admit her faults to him? Were they even faults? They were her fears.  _ I’d have to depend on you.  _ She bit her lip as she looked down at her mug and the dark elixir that swirled gently in it. “I’m not ready,” she whispered. 

“Why,” he asked in a whisper. “What haven’t I done that meets your comfort zone?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”  _ My comfort zone? _

“We can have sex and you can climb through my window late at night, but you don’t want to move in with me?” Roy looked as if she had stabbed him.

“It’s more than that…”

“It’s your idea,” he insisted with a snort of a laugh. He was certainly still tired, clearly frustrated. “You don’t want me here anymore? What’s the difference if you’re not going to be home when I’m home?”

_ I need my independence. I’m not going to depend on you.  _ “It’s too big of a change all at once. You’re asking me to drop my lifestyle now, and just change for you,” she sighed. 

“What about marrying me?”

“I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet,” she warned lowly, standing up, challenging his dominance in the argument. 

“Why? I’m not Tyler. I’m not here to hurt you.” 

“Oh!” She scoffed loudly.  _ Maybe we shouldn’t be fighting at his aunt’s home.  _ “He never asked me to move in with him. Don’t you  _ dare _ use him as an excuse of you being a better person.” 

“Then what am I?

Riza set her coffee down on the side table at the head of his bed. “You’re supposed to be my friend.” Riza didn’t know what to feel. The conversation had become tense and she could see that it was only hurting him. It was getting out of control.  _ Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything... _

“I am.” He set his coffee down as well. He stepped forward, his arms outstretched towards her. “Let me understand,” he begged softly. His posture and his face softened. “Why don’t you love me like I love you?”

“It’s not like that,” she insisted. “There's too much to consider and think about.”  _ I can’t risk losing you. If you are gone, I will be on my own. _

“Tell me,” he insisted. “Tell me so I can.” 

“I’m just supposed to tell you everything that is wrong?”

He nodded gently. “Yes! Tell me everything!”

Riza chewed on the corner of her lip, looking towards the ground. 

“Tell me why you don’t want to move in with me!” 

“I did,” she held in tears. This was supposed to be their day together, to hold and love each other. Was it really so wrong to not move in with him right away?

“Then what’s your real reasoning? Forget the excuses.” Roy leaned back. He sighed heavily.

“You left me,” she started to cry out. “You fucking left me Roy!”

His arms fell to his sides as his eyes lost their frustration. 

“I can’t move in with you for you to fucking leave me again.” Riza wiped a tear from her eye. She was trying so hard to keep it together. 

“I won’t leave you again,” he whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Riza looked away from him as she walked over to her bag. 

He called her out quietly. “Just stay here. You don't have to leave.” 

“And fight? And hear you tell me how wrong I am for loving my independence?” 

“I never said you were wrong…” He looked down at his white socked feet before looking back at her. “Look, I’m going to do as you asked. I’m going to get my own place.” He grabbed his coffee and turned towards the doorway. “This way you can come over and not have to climb through the window.” 

She frowned, her heart heavy as she realized that he was making that lifestyle change for her, however, her bones and her nerves held firm to protect herself from her imagined fears that he’d hurt her by leaving.  _ It was never on purpose. It was never on purpose. He loves what he does.  _ She watched as he left, hearing him descend the stairs with heavy steps. The guilt set in, seeping through the cracks of her brick wall that was her.  _ He’s your best friend. Tell him. Just tell him.  _ What Riza wanted to do was go back to the dorm where it was safe. Who was downstairs that had heard them? It wasn’t like it was loud, but in any case, surely they’d see her as the bad guy in this argument. 

She brushed her hair in his room, getting her clothes off the floor to change. He still didn't come back. She zipped her backpack, listening, hoping that he'd come back and ask her to stay. But he didn't. She grabbed her bag and headed down the stairs.  _ I will just take the embarrassing looks and leave.  _ To her surprise, the kitchen was void of life besides Roy who was doing the dishes. He stopped the water, drying his hands, and turned to face her. It was an interesting look to see him doing something... so domestic. 

He stopped, wiping his hands off on the towel. “Are you sure you want to leave?” His voice was coarse, almost sounding emotional as he looked beggingly at her. But Riza couldn’t figure out where all this stood. He walked out of the room first. He was offended, and Riza supposed on some level he should be. But she couldn’t bring herself to subject herself to him begging her to give up something of herself. 

_ He doesn’t understand.  _ She bit her lip. She brushed her bangs from her face. “I don’t want to fight with you. I should go.” 

“I don’t want to fight either. And I’m sorry if it seemed like I wanted to.” 

She looked up to watch him rub his face. 

“I just want to understand. I just want to know why you didn't trust me enough to move in with me."

"It’s not about trust…”  _ Yes it is. _

He frowned, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. She could see the emotions in his eyes. She could see everything from hurt to confliction in those black irises. "Then, let's start there." 

“What does me having to move in with you have to do with you getting your own place?" 

"I just assumed that since you were bringing it up, that you wanted to wake up with me and not worry about being interrupted by my family. Or maybe that we can have sex and have our own place! But apparently you don’t want to be like that with me. You’d rather go home at the end of the day, whereas, I’d rather go to be with you at the end of the day. For fuck's sake, Riza, you came all this way last night to just sleep with me!”

“It’s not about you,” she looked away, letting the guilt pull her down.  _ It’s always been about me. _

“Oh, that whole bullshit,” he snorted. 

“Okay then,” she glared back at his stern gaze. “It is. You left me. You left me alone with my dad. You’re going to leave again.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“You were gone just now. If I was home, do you think that’d be fair to me?”

“I tried calling you,” he yelled back in defense. “You didn’t answer your fucking phone!” 

“Your text didn’t say anything either!”

“Do you want a detailed account of my days?” He laughed sarcastically. “Now it’s your turn to respect my boundaries.” 

“Why wouldn’t I? I saw your scar. I don’t want to find another.” 

“You won't. I’m in the offices.” 

“Then why are you so secretive?”

She saw Roy’s features grow dark. “I can’t tell you. Don’t ask me to.” 

“You’ve kept secrets before,” she growled. “You promised no more secrets.” 

The conversation was getting out of control.  _ I need to leave. We are already hurt. Don’t put salt in the wound too. _

“You think that I’m hiding things from you?” He stood up from the counter and marched over to her. “I had to stay because we got radio communications that our southern flank was ambushed. We had to direct troops back that way without sending me down there to command a counter-attack. Donaldson and I were up all night, sitting by the radio with maps and Generals leering over us as we tried to see how bad the losses were and how far they were behind the lines.” 

Riza felt the blood drain from her face.  _ It was like that.  _

“Then, they wanted me to suggest a plan of action.” He scoffed a ‘ha.’ “As if my opinion even matters. That’s why I was gone for so long. Happy?”

Her stomach was in knots. 

“Now tell me what I want to know.” 

Riza looked down at his shoes.  _ He could be deployed. They want him down there.  _ “I don’t want to move in with you because if you did die, I would be on my own. I can’t rely on you if you’re not going to be there.” Her voice was but a whisper.

She felt his hands on her shoulders, rubbing her arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I can’t promise you that I won't die.” 

Riza felt the tears building as he softly spoke to her. 

“But I won’t leave you. Will you just trust me?”

“You’re going to leave aren’t you?” Tears began flowing down her cheeks. His thumb reached up to wipe one cheek clean. 

“I don’t know. I have no idea. But I didn’t want to because you’ll just sit here and worry.” 

Riza looked up at him, seeing his gentle smile. It reassured her of everything in the world. It was going to be alright. If there was anything that could make it alright it was him. He wiped another tear that ran down her cheek. His thumb gentle on her skin and she could feel the warmth from it. Her hand instinctively reached up and rested over his heart, feeling it beat strongly under it. 

"I guess I will just have to wait. And when you move in, then that will be that. But I suppose it has to be on your terms. I don’t want it to be about trust. I want you to trust me. I hope that you trust me.” 

Riza bit the corner of her lip and looked at the back door. “You don’t know…” 

“No I don’t,” he sighed quietly. “But I want to try.” 

She looked back at his eyes again, seeing them smiling at her. She felt reassured in a small way.  _ But he won’t ever understand what it felt.  _

He chuckled lightly. “Do you know how much I’m saving by mooching off my Aunt?”

She looked away from his eyes, looking down at her hand on his chest. 

“My door will always be open for you. And when you’re ready to move in, I’m here for you. Is that okay?” 

She nodded slowly. Her arm reached up to wipe her nose clean. 

“Are we okay?” 

She nodded again. Her independence was important to her. It was the only thing that was working for her. She’d earned it, worked for it, and it kept her safe. If anything was wrong, she was strong enough to do it on her own. She wanted him to understand that. She didn’t want to lose it because she got comfortable with him. Riza imagined them in an apartment, and him providing everything she needed.  _ What’s wrong with that? Isn’t that what anyone wants?  _ She frowned.  _ Then he dies. And you’re left with all that by yourself.  _

“I have homework I need to do.” She grabbed her bag as she turned to open the door. 

“Riza,” he called back to her. 

She stopped, hearing her name. 

“I love you,” he stated firmly. 

“I love you too,” she whispered before shutting the door behind her. 

* * *

As much as they wanted to get together, life was in their way. There was a ping of guilt left in Riza’s gut as she remembered the hurt that was in Roy’s eyes. It’d  _ almost _ been a year. That meant that they were still a couple months from their one year anniversary. It wasn’t a fear of them breaking up, but the fear that he’d be taken from her. It wasn’t a fear of being on her own, it was the fear of being dependent on someone. He didn’t understand. He had always been independent. His aunt let him run wild as long as he was mannered at home. She ran wild to escape her father. She wasn’t truly released from his grasp till his death, and then when she did need Roy, he couldn’t be there. The independence that she had now was special to her because she never truly had it before. 

He didn’t ask again. He was quiet, simple in his talk, and the time on the phone they had, he would tell her how much he missed and loved her. That only made the self-hurt worse. At the end of the week, he called her with excitement. 

“Hey, Babe.” It was as if he had a secret that he just  _ needed _ to tell her. It held relief since the week had been rather tone-deaf as far as voice. Roy’s energy surged through the phone making her jump in her own seat. “I have three apartments to look at today.” 

“That’s awesome,” she praised. 

“Yeah! I want you to go with me.” 

Her head tilted to the side and she raised an eyebrow. He was up to something. “Why?” He asked in a long, drawn-out question. 

“Because. You’ll be there too. I want you to like it.” 

There it was. If she picked it out, she’d be more inclined to be there. 

“Plus,” he quickly added. “You have a better taste than I do.” 

“Now you're reaching.” She let out a light chuckle and looked at the clock. “I can meet you after five.” 

“The first one it as four. I can handle that one. I will pick you up at five and we can do the other two.” He sounded young. It reminded her of a time when he found a frog and had to show her. The excitement was too much to be held in his little body. “Afterwards, we can go to dinner.” 

“I’d like that.” She smiled and looked back at the clock. 

“The dinner or the apartments?”

“I’ll see you at five,” Riza laughed. 

“Love you.” 

“Love you too.” It came easier and easier to say as they kept going. Her heart growing fonder of him with each word, each touch, and each breath. Needing more of him, her drug, was a normal feeling. The urgency didn’t go away, but she was used to the feeling. She expected herself to need him.  _ You already are dependent on him. _

The files and stacks of papers intimidated her. Her computer glared at her. A long day just got longer. Riza was hoping to have a quiet day, room to study, but instead, she was given the specific task of finding out which graduates had payments left to make. Surprisingly, there were graduates that had cenz to pay, holding them back from the fancy paper with a seal that would get them the better job and a better life. It was a thousand cenz for some, hundreds for others. One paper at a time, she would research the name and check all accounts. One pile for clear, one pile for “funds due.” It was repetitive and dull, but Riza made the best of it. Someone had to do it. At least she was off at five. She’d finally escape her job and return back to his side where she belonged.

4:15. 4:20. 4:25. Time moved in slow motion. Paper after paper she’d glance up at the clock. She would be able to slip out early. It wasn’t like anyone was going to notice. But her duty was to complete the piles ahead of her, and she wanted to get as many done now so that when she came in on Monday, it wasn’t that bad. She’d be doing this all next week if she kept up the slow, clock watching, pace. Her mind was overrun with him. Roy was each blinking thought between papers, between computer logs, between breaths. She chewed on the corner of her lip. It wasn’t like she should be excited to look at apartments. It was his trick to get her excited about being with him, alone, in the same room. And it worked. But she wanted to hold his hand and kiss him. She wanted to kiss his shoulder, his chest, his lips…

“Riza.” 

Her head shot up from its daydream. 

“It’s almost five. No overtime.” The older woman poked her head through the door and pointed towards the clock. “I’m sure you have studying to get done.” 

Riza nodded, organizing her desk before grabbing her backpack. One last look at the clock revealed four fifty-five. She was free. Her light steps fled from the building as she rushed up the hill towards the dorm. As she turned a corner, her dorm in sight, she didn’t see Roy’s car. Her steps slowed as her brown eyes scanned the area to see if he parked elsewhere. He wouldn’t leave without her, would he? As she took a few deep breaths to calm herself from the sprint walking, she continued to look for Roy. It was 5:05 and he was nowhere to be seen. “I guess I’ll go drop my bag off and wait for him to call.” Even as she waited for the elevator, she saw that he hadn’t arrived yet.  _ It’s weird for him to be late…  _

The hall was eerily quiet. Either everyone was studying, or they were out at the library where she should have been. She glanced out the window to still see his car still not there. They were going to be late for the other appointments if he didn’t hurry. She grabbed her jacket, putting her book bag next to her bed, and walked out the door. She watched her phone’s clock as she waited for his name to flash across the screen.  _ I should call him... _ The elevator beeped for the 2nd floor and Riza put her phone in her pocket. She was only being impatient because she wanted to see him so badly. Life was cruel. As their own lives progressed, the less they saw of each other. For the moment to come where she could gaze into his dark eyes, feel his body press against her as she tasted him in a kiss...She’d never felt so excitable for just a second of Roy. 

Out of the front doors, he was leaning on the hood of his car from the driver’s side. He was looking at his phone, seemingly texting someone. She tilted her head to the side as her phone in her pocket buzzed. 

“I just texted you,” he called from the car. Riza looked down at her phone and back to him. Roy just waved happily at her. 

For a split second, she wanted to full on run to him, grabbing him around the neck and swinging in a movie-like scene. Instead, she waved back, smiled big, and walked casually towards him. “I thought you were never going to make it,” she laughed. 

“It was a big apartment, and the lady was so slow at showing it to me. She wanted me to really see it.” Roy walked around the car to open her door for her. She noticed he had showered, his hair relaxed over his eyes, but he had on a whiff of cologne. He had on his button-up shirt, open at the neck, and black slacks on. For a usual day, he was rather nicely dressed. 

“You look all dressed up,” she looked him up and down. “I’m going to have to go back in and get dressed. What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” he snickered. “When was I ever up to something?” 

“Roy,” she said slowly, calling his bluff. 

He shut her door and walked around to his door. He always walked with confidence. His back was straight, his shoulders square. In the white shirt, he looked like a millionaire. “I just know that if you look nice, they will be nice to you,” he laughed, getting into the driver’s seat.

“So, you are doing this on purpose.” 

He only kept grinning as he turned on the car. A piece of paper was tossed in her lap. His finger pointed to the upper address. “We are going to that one.” 

The landlord gave him the keys and pointed up the stairs. “It’s up there. Drop the keys off when you come back.” He was a burly man. Riza thought he was quite gruff around the edges with an eye-roll that told her that she was more of a pain in the ass than worth the trouble of seeing that apartment. They wandered around the back and up the stairs to a plain white door. It was a nice apartment, large, but without any character. 

Riza found herself amused. Even though it was his apartment and she didn’t plan on moving in with him right away, she still felt invested in his purchase. She looked around, checking the windows, looking at the kitchen, then going into one of the three bedrooms. They were small in size, nothing to brag about. Three of them were nice. It made her wonder how much he had tucked away to be able to afford a place with three bedrooms. How much did he make anyway? More importantly, did she need three bedrooms? The room honestly looked like it could fit a queen-sized bed tightly, but a twin nicely. She wasn’t sure if she could handle cuddling on his twin again.  _ Look at me,  _ she chuckled to herself.  _ I’ve fallen into his plan.  _

Two hands landed on her hips from behind and Riza turned her head to feel his body pressed against hers. His chin landing on her shoulder. “I don’t like it, do you?” His arms slowly wrapping around her midsection. 

“It’s too small.” Riza let herself fall back into him, sighing heavily. 

“Three bedrooms is too small?” He kissed behind her ear. “Would you like to look at houses instead?” 

With a loud laugh, she said, “the bedroom is too small.” 

“I think so too,” Roy whispered. 

They stood there longer than necessary, but she couldn’t convince herself to move. She wanted to picture herself there. She wanted to imagine them doing dishes together, and throwing socks at each other on laundry day. She wanted to hold his pillow on nights that he wasn’t home and curl up to his warm chest at night when he was home. She wanted to imagine herself there, and this apartment didn’t give her that imagination. It was a sad disappointment.  _ That’s it. You’re putting down your walls for him.  _

“What are you thinking,” Roy asked. 

“I’m trying to see us here. I’m trying to imagine me with you.” Riza turned halfway so that she could see him. “I’m trying to convince myself to move in with you.” 

Roy squeezed her and a smile. “You don’t have to move in with me,” he whispered. “But, I can wait ‘till you're ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... A bit of an angsty chapter, huh? There had to be SOME angst!


	15. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy moves into his new apartment. While Riza is there for a night or two, he feels the apartment's loneliness while she's gone.

He dropped his bag into the empty apartment. It was barren of all life and any character. He supposed he’d build that himself. He’d go down and get a sofa and have it delivered by the end of the day, same with a bed. Roy had enough savings to do so. It was quaint, quiet, and even homesy. It was on the top floor of a three-floored complex, with only neighbors across the hall. The apartment was modest in design and affordability. It truly was a gem. The master bedroom and living room were almost the same sizes. The second bedroom was just a bit smaller. It sported an open kitchen and a blue-tiled counter, and grey medium length carpet. The appliances were new, which he favored. He’d get a few more things from his room tonight and call Riza to see if she wanted to have dinner, standing at his breakfast bar. He’d order stools later. She couldn’t complain about sneaking into his apartment by climbing up the roof to his window, she now had a fire escape to climb up if she wanted to sneak in. And there was no need for that.  _ She’ll have a set of keys in case she wants to be here. _ The sun shined through the big windows, overlooking Central’s market street. He could watch people go one way or another. Roy looked at the windows with a frown. He’d need to get some hefty curtains for the winter so his apartment would stay warm. He was sure there’d be a long list of things he’d need to make this apartment a home. 

The best part of having a home full of sisters was the quantity in which they give when you move out and be an “adult.” Plates, silverware, linens, and towels, were all things they furnished him with. Aunt Chris brought him a spider plant. “To keep you company,” she said with a wink. The better part was being able to make the area his own. He’d never had that. As he leaned against the window frame and looked down on the people getting groceries, he began to think that he hadn’t really ever had his own place. With the military, he had a bunk and several roommates. At his aunt’s home, he had his own space… in her space. It should have made him feel alone, but he began to feel liberated. 

_ I should have done this a long time ago. Riza had the right idea with this.  _

With a couch, a bigger bed, and an actual kitchen, she may spend more time over anyway. He could give her reasons to stay.  _ Why wouldn’t she stay? _ Roy felt his chest grow warm and a smile grew involuntarily on his lips.  _ Riza…  _ He wanted to make her happy, to give her everything she could possibly want. It was more than just providing for her and caring for her. It was showering her with affection for the rest of her life; it was kissing her as it was the first time in his life when they woke up each morning; it was cuddling under the fuzziest blankets when it was snowing outside; it was about having her by his side for the rest of his life. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket, seeing that it was his Lieutenant Colonel calling. “Mustang,” he answered.  _ So much for a day off.  _

“Major. I need you to come in.” The man did not sound happy, his voice heavy with urgency and anxiety. “There’s been an incident and I need you here to help handle it.” 

_ Because you can't _ ?  _ This is what I get for being ambitious.  _ "Yes, Sir. I will be there." 

Roy sighed loudly, looking over his empty home. So much for shopping and establishing a livable apartment.  _ Wait... _ He picked up his phone again, letting it ring in his ear. 

“Hey, Roy.” Her voice was the complete opposite of the previous caller. It was a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers to his ears. 

At first, he couldn't remember why he called. His mouth watered and his body rushed with jitters.“Riza. Hey. Will you do me a favor?”

“Maybe….” She lengthened her answer, almost joking about her tentative answer. 

Roy snorted a quiet chuckle.  _ If only I didn’t have to go.  _ “I’m going to leave my door open, the key and credit card will be in the silverware drawer. If you have time, go pick out a couch and a mattress.” He had to catch himself before saying,  _ for us _ . The grin grew.  _ It will have a touch of Riza too.  _

“Oh! That’s right! I forgot you were moving in today!" 

"Yeah....”

“Hey! I can come over and we will  _ celebrate _ .” 

Roy felt his body rise a few degrees in temperature as he heard the implication behind her words. “No… I have to go to work. I was hoping that you’d want to help decorate.” 

“Will you be back in time for dinner?" 

_ Honestly? I hope so.  _ "I don't know yet. I promise to let you know." 

She giggled on the other end. “Oh? I’m going to love this.” 

For a mere second, Roy actually felt afraid, even if it was fleeting. Her and Sheska would be down there drinking and picking out drapery, rugs, and probably would have the place half painted by the time he got back. Roy would have much more liked it to have just been the two of them. As he donned his uniform, he could see him putting a bit of paint on her nose, and she’d put a handprint on his ass. She’d probably micromanage how the kitchen was laid out.  _ I should leave her to it. She’s better at these things anyway.  _ He grabbed his bag and trudged out the door. 

* * *

The forces in the West against Creta were failing. It was chaos on the lines and special forces behind the lines were being ambushed. Their first line of defense was in retreat, more likely being scattered, and the second was engaging now. A general, three colonels, and lesser officers ran down hallways, bustling with a sense that time was of the essence. Roy was no different. A proposed idea even suggested pulling back to Gaymep or Axnoller to regroup, but the town of Fafaus would be completely exposed. They were struggling to hold Oporto.

One general leaned over the table, a thick cigar between his fingers, growling at the map. Little metal pieces, tipped over to represent fallen units, scattered around the map. "How," he growled. "What numbskull nitwit do I need to hang for this travesty?" 

Roy pinched his nose as he leaned against the smoke-filled room, thinking on any possible solutions. "Where are the Alchemists," a colonel asked angrily. 

"They were recorded here," another Colonel pointed to the map. "We have had no contact with them." 

"You won't either," Roy muttered. 

"They too busy getting shot like you?" The Colonel's dangerous glare and vicious tone leveled on the calm and collected Roy. 

"They aren't going to risk their position over communication," he answered simply while he folded his arms. "If we know they are over there, we need to concentrate movement here." Roy pointed to the opposite side of the line. "We have to give them relief to do their job."

"Their duty shouldn't need relief." The Colonel stood straight up, puffing out his chest and shoulders as a sign of his authority. He was one of the biggest reasons why Roy was adamant about him not being in these meetings. He was a Major; no one special. Colonel Fairbanks insisted on it because of his experience, however, it gave him no authority to even speak his mind. It only made himself vulnerable. 

"We need a counterattack," Roy's Lieutenant Colonel interrupted. 

“We need a better battlefield. Where can we find high ground?" 

"We need to retreat, gather forces here, and strengthen the troops." 

"That leaves a hole in the line." 

"It's better than leaving it thin!" 

Meanwhile, Roy sat silently watching. The General made no motions except to put the cigar in his mouth as he chewed on it. He was an intimidating person, and Roy couldn’t help but wonder how anyone could live in a home with him. He must have a softer side. It was too bad he wouldn’t see it today. His tight jaw flexed, brow frowned so tight it was creating a new brow all together. His darker skin shimmered with sweat in the hot and stuffy room. He didn't acknowledge the roaring officers as he stood up, tucking a hand in his armpit and holding the cigar in his other. He examined the map intensely, then looked at the computer, then at the clock. "Mustang," he said in his deep stuffed voice, one that had aged with stress and cigars. "How long do you want to be here?" 

_ That is the vaguest question I have ever been asked! What is that even supposed to mean? To be in the army? To be in the room? Want to be in the command center?  _ "Can I ask for clarification, General Sir?"

The room grew quiet as Roy turned towards him. "You're the only reasonable officer here and you aren't saying anything." 

"Sir, I'm just a Major."  _ And I’m being singled out.  _

"You wouldn't be here if I didn’t want you to be. Do you have somewhere else better to be?" 

Roy shook his head quickly. "No, Sir."  _ Do you like being an officer,  _ he asked himself _.  _ "I'm here until you relieve me, Sir!"  _ You can’t make the difference outside of this office.  _ He frowned at himself. 

The general tapped his finger on the map, slow and heavy like. "You have been on the front, earned a star for your valor and sacrifice, and became highly ranked and respected rather quickly in the Alchemist legion." He stood up putting the cigar back in his mouth, the bud glowing a bright red with an inhale. Smoke billowed out as he looked at the computer again. "What do you want to do?" 

_ It doesn't matter what I say, it's what you say.  _ He took a deep breath, looking over the map and rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Deception is key." Roy looked around the room from under his black locks that hung over his eyes. "What if we made them believe that we were going to do something, or even better if we were bigger than we really are?" It was what he was taught, what he was meant to do. Why wouldn’t that be his answer?

"Planes, dumbass." The towering bigshot of a Colonel laughed. “They can see us from the air.”

"Maybe… but that's the fun, right?" 

"How many days do we have?" 

A Lieutenant in the corner looked down at a report, his glasses sliding down his nose. “The report came in three hours ago that the 343rd was broken. We have the 12th sector moving in as of an hour ago." 

"Reenforce the 12th." The General sat heavily into his chair and turned to type into a computer. 

"We could only have a few days." 

Roy stood looking around at the chaos that he had caused. 

"Maybe you can volunteer to go West," the cocky Colonel grinned at Roy. 

"We can't lose him," Roy's Lieutenant Colonel defended. "But you seem to know what you're doing, you can go." 

"Watch what you say to a superior!" 

"Stop," the general ordered loudly. "We are losing lives! I'm going to send all of you if you cant pull your fucking heads out of your asses and fix this!" 

Roy didn't think he was going to get out of the offices. It felt that the second their little plans didn’t work, they just screamed at each other.  _ It’s like I was able to do that when things didn’t go the way we wanted.  _ Roy looked at his watch as he walked out of the building. He was allowed to leave, however being dismissed because "you're not needed" wasn't a progressive way to get promoted. He was thankful nonetheless. He was tired. He had hit his mental capacity for the day.  _ I really hope she got a bed. I hope it's ready to sleep on.  _ It didn't need to even have sheets. He was going to shower, drink a beer in his boxers, and fall dead to the world on his mattress. If it wasn't there, he could always lay on the floor or drag his tired ass to his aunt's house to reclaim his room for one more night. 

Roy’s steps were heavy up the three flights of stairs, realizing at the top that he didn’t have his key. His stomach turned as he thought about having to go back down and up the fire escape at such an early hour of the night. To his surprise, his door was unlocked. It opened to an assortment of boxes of all sizes and shapes.  _ I hope I still have money in the bank.  _ He sighed, deciding to worry about that later. There wasn't a couch, not like he needed it at that moment. The stack of towels his sisters left was on the floor in the bathroom. He turned the water on hot, dropped his clothes, and kicked them into the corner.  _ Need a laundry hamper,  _ he noted to himself. There was no soap, no cleaner whatsoever, so he just stood under the hot water and let it wash his soreness away. There was a new six-pack in his fridge.  _ Four pack _ , he laughed lightly as he noticed two were missing. A glance at the counter was evidence that Riza and her accomplice enjoyed one for themselves. 

Roy looked over the mess his living room had become as he leaned over his kitchen counter and drank his cooled beer. There was no evidence that indicated a couch was going to be put together by the shapes of the boxes, but he wouldn't discard the notion. If he could guess, one box was a table, maybe two boxes were tables, and one was a hanger for curtains and blinds by its length and thinness. A large square box sat in the center and he genuinely wondered what could be in it. He was too tired to find a knife to open it. There was another large box that was more rectangle and it was heavy when he kicked at it.  _ God,  _ his eyes widened.  _ What does the bedroom look like?  _ He picked at the label, peeling with the condensation around his fingers.  _ And I have to put all this together?  _

He rifled through his bag which was humorously still at the entryway and found a pair of gym shorts. He grabbed the first black t-shirt he saw, pulling them on with little energy. To his surprise, the bed was on a stand, and even made. He walked slowly up to it, trying to remember to breathe as he saw the figure under the blankets. She was curled up under the light comforter, half holding a pillow. Her blonde hair was tame as it was also tucked under the blankets, with a few wild strands that managed to free themselves. Getting in bed meant disturbing her, waking her, and he didn't want to move. 

He must have made some sound because she rolled her shoulder over, peering at the intruder which was him. "Hey," she whispered hoarsely. "I was worried." 

Roy slowly pulled the covers back, gently sliding against his girlfriend. “You didn’t hear me come home?”

“I did,” she whispered before a yawn. “I knew it was you.” 

“How?”

“You grumped and muttered something about the boxes.” 

She rolled back to face away from him as she wiggled back against him. Roy loved it. She fit right into him, his arms wrapping tightly around her. Every breath, every sigh, every moan made Roy grinned as his thoughts turned physically south. How could he not? After a stressful day, having her with him was exactly what he needed to soothe his aches and pain. His body reacted the way that it should react to her against him, wiggling and settling into his bed. However, as much as he wanted to kiss her neck, feel her sides, and hear her say his name in the most erotic tone that had ever reached his ears, he was too tired to move. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. 

* * *

Not even the sunlight through his unobscured window woke him. Riza had gotten up, taken a shower, and even had bought breakfast items before Roy even opened his eyes. He found his arms empty and his blankets kicked from him. At first, he stared at the ceiling thinking she had gone home. He’d probably be spending more time at the office anyway. The fighting on the Cretan front was getting heavier. Roy knew it was only a matter of time before reserves were called in and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to get called to arms too.  _ I’m in the training sector,  _ he tried to comfort himself.  _ They won’t be eager to call me up.  _

A sound from his living room caused his attention to shift and he pulled himself, achingly, from his bed. “That better be Riza, I don’t have the energy to kick anyone’s ass.” He frowned. “God, it better not be Maes.” He rubbed his face with a deep groan. He opened the half-closed door to see two boxes opened and a pajamaed blonde woman sitting on the floor with coffee in hand. A screwdriver sat to her side and an instruction booklet in front of the mess that was once content and innocent in the box. “Oh good,” he grinned. “It’s you.” 

“Who did you think it was,” she asked with a loud laugh. Her eyes glowed at him, showering his heart with the sunlight of Riza. 

“I was hoping it wasn’t anyone but you,” he answered groggily. “You made coffee?” 

His girlfriend stood up, still holding her own mug while pointing towards a small box. “I got it yesterday. 

“Speaking of which…” Roy smirked as he walked to the kitchen. “How broke am I?” 

“View it more as of an investment,” she laughed as she followed him. 

“What? Did you go till it said decline?”

“I’m not familiar with that word.” Riza grinned ear to ear. 

He poured himself a cup, taking a satisfying sip of it. “You can stay,” he nodded. “You make good coffee.” He turned to see her laugh, throwing her head back towards him to see him from her seated position. The warm sun warmed the room from the windows, lighting up the room. Having her there, laughing in his living room was like eating ice cream for breakfast. It was the domestic bliss that he had dreamed about. It was what he called ordinary, textbook family feelings. 

Apparently her waking up with him in his bed left her in a great mood also. “Oh, and the couch I wanted will be here Tuesday.” 

“That you wanted, huh?” He raised his eyebrow, leaning against the counter to admire her. His mind was still going through all the memories of him wanting this moment right now. Sitting hungry in inches of mud, looking only at a picture, had he imagined a domestic world.  _ It was a domestic world that you were protecting. _

Riza quickly nodded, catching a few locks of stray hair to tuck them behind her ear. The sun highlighted her facial features, her white teeth showing behind the grin. Her eyes sparkled with the morning. A picture or painting wouldn’t do justice to the beautiful scene in front of him. They may not be married, but he’d say vows to her right then and now. He’d promise anything to keep the moment from being lost to time. 

“I thought you weren’t going to move in,” he took in a deep breath, raising an eyebrow. Internally he flinched. He shouldn’t have brought it up. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable. 

“I’m not,” she reassured gently, though, to be honest, Roy felt a heaviness in his legs. He wished she had said she changed her mind. “I just trust myself against your style.” She nodded towards his room. “Have you seen your bedroom?”

Roy chuckled as he looked over to see a box of doughnuts. He reached in, grabbing a generic glazed twist. “What are you building then,” he asked with his mouth full. 

“That’s a bookshelf if you must know.” She took a drink of her coffee and rounded the breakfast counter to stand next to him, looking over her mess in his living room.

“Better than a girly armoire,” he snorted. If he was going to play “house” he was going to live it up. He stepped behind her, putting a hand on her hip, and kissed the base of her neck before he strolled past her. The pile of flat MDF boards wrapped in a black veneer challenged his motivation that morning. “It’s not even organized,” he observed before taking another bite of his fried dough. 

“Don’t diss my style of assembly!” Riza had followed behind him. It was her turn to walk behind him, letting the hand graze his lower back as she walked behind him to stand at his side. 

“Your style? You know these are labeled right?”

She nudged his shoulder and he snickered back at her light warning glare. 

“Fine,” he grumped as he took the last bite, licking his fingers clean. “Where did you get that screwdriver?” 

Riza pointed towards the other end of the living room where two plastic containers were opened savagely and a slew of cheap tools littered the area next to them. “I see. Did you get a hammer or mallet?” She walked over there, kicked a light box out of the way before holding a small hammer up. He chuckled again.  _ This is exactly how I wanted to spend the morning.  _ “Come on, Babe. Let’s put a bookshelf together.”

The scene was as ordinary as it could get. The two, sitting in pajamas, putting together generic furniture. They snickered and giggles as they nudged shoulders and looked fondly on one another. His hands held the shelf steady while she screwed into the predrilled holes. He wasn't even sure why, and he wouldn’t argue against it, but they laughed so easily. His hand would slip over hers, feeling the softness of the back of her hand as he guided it. She leaned over to kiss his cheek, and he met her halfway with his own. 

At one point he asked for the hammer and she pulled it away from him. The more he reached for it, the louder her laugh became. He slid up, sitting over her, pushing her to the floor as they laughed at how ridiculous the scene had become. She stretched to keep the hammer from his grasp but succumbed to this torture as his fingers tickled her sides. "Give it here," a gentle order demanded. 

"Make me," she challenged back. Her eyes were fiery and playful. Their gaze finally locked and the hammer slipped from her fingers as he pressed himself against her. Hands tangled into his messy hair and a deep groan escaped from his chest as her lips fought back against his. Roy dropped his hands loudly onto the carpet as he pressed his body to hers. It was like he couldn’t get close enough for her. He couldn’t feel her heart beating against his chest yet. Her teeth grabbed his bottom lip, getting another groan from him. For something that should have ended in an innocent kiss, they were escalating quicker. Hungrily, he pressed his erection against her, begging for her attention, her moan to reward him for his ambitions. Her hips raised to meet his and Roy felt his throat tighten, trying not to choke on the drool he had for wanting to taste her. Her head fell back as she gasped, pulling on his shirt with tight fists. It must have driven her as mad as he was because the pitch of her gasp was desperate and needy. He heard his name breathed on his lips and it was hard not to keep from unraveling there and now.

"Damn it," he growled as he tucked his head down into the crook of her neck with a heavy breath. "You drive me wild, you know that?" 

Riza snickered. "I have been perfecting it for years."

Their breathing, raspy and rough, begging for air as if they’d been running for miles, synchronized. He felt her fingers glaze a sugary touch down his sides. They knew each other’s touches, knowing how to make the other forget where they were. She had an amazing effect on him with just the breath on his neck and the way she said his name. It ignited a fire in him that could not be put out. She was single handedly fueling his lust with each breath. Roy wasn’t even sure if his heart could handle the intensity of her touch on his biceps alone. It was a downright shock to his soul when her hands glided down his chest.  _ I hope I make her feel the same way.  _

Roy jumped up, pulling her with him. As much as he had thought what to do to her in every room, he wasn’t going to make the first time in his apartment on the floor surrounded by brown cardboard and screwdrivers. As he pulled her to his feet, he bent down and pulled her over his shoulder, slapping her ass as he held her like a sack of flour. 

“Roy!” 

He grinned as she howled and wiggled. It didn’t deter him in the least as he took long strides to their bedroom and the soft sheets. A bounce of the new mattress and he hovered over her, lost in Riza. “You are the most beautiful person in the morning,” he whispered as he kissed her nose with a peck. 

“I’m already seduced,” she laughed, hitting his chest. 

“Well,” he grinned as he sat up to remove his shirt. “That just means that my skills are top-notch.” He tossed the shirt to the side, not breaking his gaze from hers. 

Riza laughed again and hit his thigh. “You’re so full of yourself!” 

“I’m full of you,” he whispered hoarsely. “Come here, you.” She wet her lips as she took a moment to eye him up and down. Her gaze caused a rapid spike in his ego and Roy held back flexing his arms. Instead, he fell forward and to the side. He tugged at her pajama pants with an index finger and a sideways grin. “These need to come off. That’s how this works.” 

Riza cooly looked at him, tugging his pants with her index finger. “I’ll race you. Whoever gets theirs off first gets to be on top.” Neither had underwear on. Or Roy knew he didn’t, and she didn’t usually when she wore he pajamas. 

Roy jumped the gun, watching Riza laugh as they both struggled to free themselves from their pants. She was laughing too hard to hardly participate and Roy threw it across the room only to turn to her and help her. “What if I win but want you on top.” 

Riza pressed on his chest, rolling him over. He let her, giving no resistance to her motives. The light through the room was by the sun only, and like her, it lit up the room. She sat on top of him, her hands rippling across his chest. Her hair shimmering, her lips pink and shiny from her licking them, moistening them. There was a certain essence to her that drove his heart to the ribcage. Back and forth she moved along his length, Roy’s head falling back with a groan. His hands grabbed her hips as he groaned again. 

“I don’t think we’ve had enough foreplay for that,” he argued. His hands reached to her thighs and in a swift motion, he flipped her off him and rolled on top of her. His kisses started at her breasts and slowly made their way down to her inner thigh. He took great pride in the wiggles and squirming she made as it tickled. His hands slid up the outside of her thigh, roaming to the top as he opened her legs. The closer his kisses got to her, the more he heard her whine. Her hands fell over her face and he could hear her hold in a pleasurable scream. He licked up her, delicately, enjoying the feeling of her legs under his hands shaking. Second round he let his tongue slide into her folds, tasting her mellow and smooth juices. His tongue danced around her clit for a second as she cried out his name into her hands. Next, his finger dipped into her, feeling her convulsing with excitement. It wiggled in her, searching for her sweet spot as she continued to whine his name and a swear word of her choosing. Roy felt his body tighten each word she uttered. 

“Stop teasing me,” she whimpered. 

“That’s no fun,” he laughed loudly. His tongue flicked against her clit again as his finger lifted to rub her g-spot. Her whole body flinched. He could feel the tight convulsion around his fingers. It was the reaction that he was looking for. It was more than just fingering her. It was watching her, seeing how he could make her body flare with sparks and tremble with waves of passion. It wasn’t a fuck for him. He wanted to know every cell in her body, so intimately that each part of her knew he loved it. His kisses went in reverse as they trailed up her stomach, her ribs, her breasts, not following any line in particular but instead weaving a trail on her body. He’d kiss every inch if he had time. Maybe he’d do that one day when he had hours to do so. Before they greeted her lips, he stopped to look at her. “God,” he whispered to her. “You’re so beautiful.” 

It was extraordinary to Roy how well their lips sealed. Hers would suck gently on his bottom lip as he’d open his mouth to let his tongue then play with her upper lip. They slid so easily together, playfully tangling. Their noses brushed the other as their lips moved from one angle to the next. This one was just singular, easy, not even demanding. This kiss let her suck on his bottom lip as she moaned. His erection pressed against her inner leg, pulsing as they parted, slowly feeling the other slide from the connection like hands would from a grasp. 

“I thought I was going to be on top,” she breathed against his lips. 

He rolled over, showing her his whole body with his hands. “Have at it.” 

Riza jumped up, grabbing his dick before giving it a few slow pumps. It must have amused her how he always reacted. It was his turn to let his head fall back with a light moan. He was always amused that she liked it. “Oh yeah,” he breathed. She reached into a bag that was on the floor and picked out a condom. Usually, he put it on, but Riza had learned that it aroused him to great lengths to feel her put it on him. That was no lie. The feeling of her fingers rolling over his dick sent shivers throughout his body. It was a hot chill to his ears. 

Roy understood why she liked it on top. It gave her the control that she liked, and he liked being at her will. There were days that he just needed to take her and love on her how he thought she deserved, but on a day like today, he was fine sitting back and allowing her to slide him into herself. His hands grabbed her thighs and squeezed them, his fingertips almost digging into them, as she slid herself forward and back, rolling her hips over him as if she was a crashing wave on cliffs. Roy held her still as he begged her to stop. “Fuck,” he growled. “Stop-stop-stop!” 

A quick glance, Roy saw her whole body: her hips, sides, the curve of her body, and the grin on her face. Her cheeks were red, her eyes dilated, and her mouth was open as her chest heaved. Her hair fell over her shoulders, bordering her plump breasts which hung gracefully from her chest. He felt himself pulse under her as her movements started again. He watched her body sway back and forth, bringing her chest inward as her hips slid back, deepening him in her. Her head fell back as a finger reached forward to stimulate herself. The whole thing felt as if it lasted fifteen minutes, but Roy knew better. It was half that length. He sucked air through his teeth, his abs contracting as he lifted his hips to her. The extra depth crashed into her causing her to tighten around him, convulsing around him. It was her turn to collapse upon him. Riza held herself over him, chuckled as he blinked at her. “Dear God,” he gasped. “I’m not sure why, but he has blessed me with one fine woman.” 

She laughed, hitting his chest playfully before sliding off him. With a short moment of deep breaths, she turned to curl up against him. It couldn’t have gotten any more “domestic” than that. Roy wrapped an arm around her, brushing her hair with his hand. “I love you. Don’t ever forget that.” 

“I love you too,” she breathed across his chest. “And don’t you ever forget that either.” 

* * *

Roy wanted to keep her, hold her until he was forced to let go, but as the nights went on through the weekend, they had to return back to their normal lives. Some days she was there, other days he sat alone on his tan plush couch reading about the structural design of arches and arcades. They were both that were designed merely for looks while there were others that were essential to the structural integrity of the building. It wasn’t necessarily a dull study, however, his mind was other places to fully focus on his school subject. Subconsciously he was looking at his phone every so often. He wanted to see that she was coming over, wanted to hear that she couldn’t focus either. If Roy didn’t have an addiction to her before, it was blatantly obvious that she was essential to his home now. It was empty without her. He was empty without her. 

Dropping the book on his coffee table, the one that they built together, he got up and made his way to the kitchen.  _ It’s been one day,  _ he tried to reason with himself.  _ She is busy. Finals are here. She has a life outside of you. _ He had called her once but it went to voicemail. She’d see that he had called and call him back.  _ There’s nothing to worry about.  _ It didn’t calm his nerves any less. His fingers tapped on top of the fridge’s door as he peered in. He wasn’t even hungry. He was just looking for something to do. He was looking for a distraction.  _ Go say hi to Chris,  _ he offered himself. But he didn’t even feel like that.  _ You could go to bed early,  _ he continued.  _ You have to get up early anyway. I wonder if she could skip class tomorrow and go to training again.  _ Roy frowned and shut the fridge door.  _ That’d require us to talk in order to invite her…  _

Roy meandered into his bedroom as he pulled a pair of gym shorts from a pile of dirty clothes.  _ Still need a hamper _ , he groaned at his own laziness. He bent at the waist as he reached for his toes, feeling the stretch in his calves.  _ I can pick one up after work tomorrow.  _ He frowned.  _ Unless I continue to work more hours.  _ He pulled his arm across his chest as he stretched his shoulder.  _ I’d rather be elsewhere…  _ Roy switched arms.  _ Duty to country and man.  _ Roy put his foot against the wall and leaned towards it, stretching his calf more.  _ Riza… my duty to her. _

The night was clear and crisp as he kept his steady pace down the sidewalk. He let his black hair bounce against his forehead, feeling the sweat drip down his temples. Maybe the run will rid him of the sexual angst.  _ That’s not how it works,  _ he joked. He’d find himself alone in bed again. At least the run would help with the other anxiety that had built in his chest. He was running from his stress, his problems in his head. That’s what they were: problems in his head.  _ You’re the problem in my head,  _ he grinned as he turned a corner.  _ The forever image I can’t escape.  _

Roy looked up to see a couple walked out of a store and into the parking lot. He slowed to a stop, breathing heavily, as he watched the two. She had her arm around his as the man pushed the cart to their car. She talked so casually with him while he nodded with a content smile. Roy’s hand ran through his sweaty hair, his chest heaving before he continued on his run. He never thought he’d be jealous of his best friend, but Maes had everything that Roy wanted.  _ I want to go home to Riza. I want to go home to the love of my life.  _ He had to chuckle.  _ You always go too fast,  _ he chastised himself.  _ In less of a year, you have already convinced yourself that grown up Riza is your soulmate.  _

Funny, because he thought he was in love with Venessa too.  _ But Venessa couldn’t handle the military life. No, she couldn’t handle seeing you hurt.  _ There were other complications. Venessa wanted a man in uniform without the dedication of the uniform.  _ What if Riza can’t handle it either?  _ Moreover,  _ would I give it up to save her?  _ Would she be worth it if she asked him to change a part of himself? “This run isn’t productive,” he muttered as he rounded the last corner to head home. “It’s depressing.” Disappointment and fear built in his stomach as he thought about ever having to break himself in half to save a relationship. He wasn’t sure, and he never asked, how Maes and Gracia ever managed. But Gracia was a God damn angel.  _ Not that Riza isn’t on any level. Riza is my angel, saving me from the sins of myself.  _ And there was no doubt that Maes and Gracia had their own trials. 

Trudging up the stairs to his home, he watched his feet. It was another night alone. It’s not like he didn’t have times of solitude before. It was that now it was empty too.  _ Less than a year _ , he thought amusingly.  _ Hook line and sinker in less than a year.  _ Roy picked up his phone to see he’d missed her call. He tried to calm his breathing as he called her back. Why his phone didn’t ring while he was running was a mystery. But when she didn’t answer again it was only suspicion that a higher power was keeping them apart for another day. 

The shower was hot, relaxing his tight muscles. He wished it was her fingers. He wished it was her touch, her kisses upon his bare back. Even as he crawled into bed, he listened in hopes of hearing her key unlocking his front door. Silence. With arms behind his head, he stared at the ceiling. The room felt cold even for an early summer night. The sheets felt cool, the blankets heavy, his pillow unsupportive. It was abnormally quiet too. He was going to bed too late to get proper sleep. Maybe it was because he didn’t have a proper dinner, or maybe it was he had too much on his mind, but he couldn’t sleep. It was after eleven and he had to wake at five-thirty. 

A text was there in the morning.  **‘Miss you.’**

He smiled, messaging back the same with an additional  **‘I love you’** to it. 

It was a brighter day already knowing that she was still thinking of him. Maybe it was just his insecurities. He worried that she’d forget about him.  _ Stop being stupid. Both of you are just busy.  _ So he went on with the day.  _ Maybe you will be able to talk with you later today. Maybe we can grab dinner or dessert?  _ He grabbed his bag, shoving a pop-tart in his mouth, and walked out the door, forgetting his coffee mug on the counter. 

That was the start of his day. The forgetting of the home-brewed, freshly ground, perfected over the years, coffee. He didn’t notice till he parked his car and reached for it. “Fuck.” He had a whole day of reports and training sessions, without his one thermos of coffee. “Fucking military coffee.” When he was in a trench, he was thankful for even colored water, but at the offices, it tended to be burnt, bitter, and needing more cream and sugar than was ever provided.  _ Because the Fuhrer wants his men healthy. Dickbag. Give us real creamer.  _

That put him in a sour mood. Sour moods meant that the trainees were going to have it. They could have it. Bright and early they were to watch two hours of training videos, then applications, then a test in the field. The videos even dulled Roy, who was sitting in the back of the class with a stick in hand to hit the head of any slumbering soldier. Within thirty minutes, he woke to a snap sound and his Lieutenant hitting a soldier’s head.

“Wake the fuck up and pay attention!” 

Roy’s eyes were big, looking around hoping no one noticed his own nap. His Lieutenant had taken his stick, letting him sleep.  _ Good Man, Hotchkiss.  _ He grinned at his second Lieutenant and Hotchkiss grinned back at him. Apparently they both were going to have fun today. 

He bet Riza would have liked going to training today. It was on sniping, which he knew she liked to shoot. Moreover, it was about being tactically sound. They had himself, Hotchkiss, and two other officers (who hadn’t had good coffee) walking around. With little paint guns, they could shoot the sniper cadets. It wasn’t about the officers getting shot, it was about not being seen. Roy and Hotchkiss drove down to the area, letting the snipers wiggle themselves into position. In the meantime, Roy leaned his car seat back, putting his boots up on the dash. He took a bite of his ham sandwich and hummed. 

“Are you getting enough sleep, Sir?” 

Roy looked at his Lieutenant. He reminded him a lot of Jean. He was such a happy-go-lucky guy with a great smile and go getting attitude. Even with the blonde hair and facial hair. The main difference was the size. “What makes you think that?”

“I know you nap a lot anyway, but you seem a bit more tired today.” Hotchkiss leaned out the window, looking into the forest. “How’s Riza?” 

“That’s why I’m not sleeping.” 

“You didn’t get dumped did you?”

Roy snorted. “Maybe I dumped her.” 

“Then you’re the idiot,” he laughed. 

“No.” Roy dropped his sandwich in his lap, putting his arms behind his head. “Just been busy. So we haven’t talked very much.” 

The Lieutenant nodded. “These recruits are idiots,” he chuckled, changing the topic. 

“They have potential,” Roy yawned, closing his eyes. “They are just young.” 

“They are getting younger and younger…” 

Roy hummed as he realized the truth in that. He only hoped that they did have potential, or the next group through will be younger still. It was the hard truth. Not every one of them would do exceptionally well to be recruited into the Alchemists. Not half of the cadets were even recruited into certain fields. It wasn’t that Roy approved of sending boys to slaughter. It was quite the opposite and that is why he focused so much into training. It was still the way things were. He was just one of the lucky ones that survived. Lieutenant Hotchkiss spent a year in the trenches before he applied for a staffing position and was placed immediately under his authority. First Lieutenant Stephens never saw battle. He’d been on the field, and he had extensive training, but he was an office junkie if Roy ever saw one. The man was a straight-up nerd, and no one would know based on his build and stature. If there was ever a need for a Powerpoint presentation, Stephens would do it for fun. 

Roy stretched as he leaned back in his office chair. His back hurt and his eyes were heavy. There was serious consideration to take a nap. He would just put a ‘be back’ sign and lock his door. Even thirty minutes would be better than none. His gaze fell onto the file for some private who was applying for a promotion. It was just a few more signatures. Maybe he needed more coffee.  _ I’d rather not,  _ he frowned.

He stood up and took the few steps to the door before a “Mustang,” rang from around the corner. 

Roy popped his head out of the doorway to see Colonel Fairbanks coming down the hall. “Yes, Sir?”

“I have some papers for you to sign, and I have a certain ceremony that you are required to attend tomorrow at fourteen hundred hours.” 

Roy groaned. “I’m not sure why you hate me,” he joked sourly. 

The Colonel handed him a folder. “You should know that there are certain lucky officers, like you, who get chosen to award medals. It makes you special.” His Colonel laughed humorously.

Roy groaned again. He looked over the list, seeing a few names. They were soldiers getting awarded to Warrant Officers. There were a few on the list that he’d met before, but most he had not. 

“Dress fancy for tomorrow. I don’t want to see a speck on your blues. You have to set an example for the new officers.” 

Roy nodded, handing the folder back. “Yes, Sir.” He just wanted to wallow in his own loneliness. He wanted to just toss his foam ball against the wall and grump about the isolation that ate at his soul. He was depressed. Roy shut the door, locking it. Leaning back into his chair he closed his eyes. At least when he was sleeping, Riza was there.. 

It worked too. 

He dreamt he was at the shooting range, his Riza placing her hands on his as her lips pressed against his cheek as he fired his rifle. It was strange, he even admitted it in the dream, but he was so worked up watching her lean over the table, steadying her view down the scope. Her hands ran down the barrel of the gun, steadying it before she fired a single round. Maybe he was dreaming this because she had outshot him at the range during her firearms accuracy class with the college. He’d been so worked up over watching her take a steady breath, letting it out softly, her finger pressing against the trigger, her body relax as the gun fired. Stranger was the little dog in his dream that was sleeping next to her as she took her time putting a hole in the black circle on the target. He couldn’t move, couldn’t say anything. Then her hands would be back on his, or her breasts against his back, hot breath on his neck…

Roy sat up with some yelling down the hall. His body was rigid, angry that he was taken from such an intimate dream. His body gave him obvious reasons to love it. His body ached, his testicles tight and he sighed. Looking at his phone to see three texts. He also noticed that he had napped for too long. He took a two-hour nap instead of a thirty minute one. He unlocked his phone to see that Riza messaged him. Setting his feet on the ground, he opened them. 

**‘I’m on my way over. See you soon.’**

**‘You still at work?’**

**‘It’s getting late. There’s dinner in the fridge. See you tomorrow.’**

Roy let his head fall loudly onto his desk. Getting up to leave, he noticed an envelope on the floor under his door. He picked it up, opening it slowly. “Get up or go home. Slacker.” He rolled his eyes. His Colonel had a sick sense of humor, but nothing escaped him. Overall he was a good man and Roy was thoroughly lucky that he didn’t get in real trouble. 

Roy came home to the empty home he wished wasn’t so empty. There were a few signs of her past existence. There was a pot in the sink, a cup still on the coffee table, and he noticed his blinds were open. Closer inspection even showed that she watered his spider plant. But she wasn’t here. He messaged her to tell her he was home, no response. He got a shower. No response. He called her, it went to voicemail. Roy hung his uniform out, ironing it, running a lint brush over it twice. It’s not like he had anything else to do. He wished he had more to do. He had a true weekend off, with these ceremonies on a Friday. That’d give him time to go kidnap his girlfriend and spend the next two days with her.  _ If I can get a hold of her.  _

Friday went by, and still no contact. Only fleeting texts were the communication he had with Riza. In his office, with his feet on the desk, he stared at his phone.  _ I’m going to go over there,  _ he determined.  _ I’m going to go over there and stay all day if that’s what it’s going to take. Me and Sheska will become good friends by the end of it.  _ He grinned as a specific image of him toting her out of the dorms with her over his shoulder. If she had moved in, they would be seeing each other. He wanted to tell her, beg her again to reconsider, but it’d only piss her off.  _ Maybe she will feel the same way and will be more willing this weekend.  _ She was excited to have a key but didn’t want to stay. 

Sadness, anger, disappointment, were all feeling that he’d been working through as he came home to an empty apartment. It was amazing that he didn’t have five sisters and an aunt hovering over him, and a little one that wanted to end him, running around him. There was a looming threat that one or all could surprise visit him, but he didn’t have to answer the door. Maybe that was one benefit to Riza having a key. Mostly he was angry that she wasn’t there. Who was he to blame? Himself? Her? They both understood where the other stood on the issue. There was no helping that he felt sad about it. His body would slouch, shoulders falling forward with a heavy sigh as he stuck his key into the door. 

The apartment was warm feeling. There was a scent of garlic and what he hoped was chicken. He peeked to see the light on the oven was on. His heart picked up and his stomach grew tight as he knew Riza was there. He set his bag by the door to look at the coffee table and see a mug steaming.  _ Not just there, but recently near.  _ Roy wasn’t sure if he should walk in quietly, or call out to her. He slipped his shoes off, the lazy way of the toe on the heel method. His socked feet touched the carpet apprehensively, testing to see if she’d call out to him first. He looked around, sticking his hands in his pocket. “Huh,” he frowned. He walked softly to the bedroom, peeking in to see it also empty. She couldn’t have gone far, and he doubted that she would leave the stove on and leave. Her backpack was by the front door, her shoes next to it. He stood in the living room, listening. Finally, after a few seconds, Roy heard a ping of metal against metal. Like a guard dog, his head snapped towards the guest bedroom. He walked carefully towards it, opening the door slowly to see her back turned towards him. 

Riza was hunched over an instruction manual, screwdriver in hand. Her blonde head looked back to the contraption she was attempting to assemble, then back to the manual. “This doesn’t make sense. Why don’t you make sense,” she muttered, clearly frustrated. Roy didn’t move. He leaned against the doorway, watching her sit with her legs apart, hovering over two pieces of metal. She took a screw from her mouth, putting it in the hole, and reached for a nut by the paper. There was quite a bit of muttering from the love of his life, and a few curse words if Roy heard right. She was beautiful though. So beautiful. The natural sun that filtered through the room, illuminated it, making her hair glow. Upon closer inspection, he realised she was wearing one of his shirts that she’d stolen from the last time she stayed overnight. “I need more wine for this bullshit.” She scooted across to the other end, reaching for another bolt. 

_ She has no idea that I’m here.  _ Roy grinned. He could grab her sides, yell “rawr,” even softly say “boo” behind her. He could be nice and just say, “hey,” from where he was standing. The latter was probably the safest. There was no certainty that she’d stab him. He didn’t see wine next to her, or near her, so she couldn’t spill any. 

“I think I have this backwards,” she groaned. Riza turned to reach for another nut. Her head snapped as she saw him, yelping loudly and falling over. “You mother…” Riza reached for the manual and threw it at Roy. She cussed again as she fell back, grabbing her chest. “Fucking announce yourself! God!” 

Roy burst into laughter, holding his side as he watched the manual fall short of him. “You don’t hear people walking behind you?” He choked out all that he could through the hard fit laughter that ravaged his lungs. “That’s how you get murdered!” 

“No,” Riza pointed at him, still clutching her chest. “You get murdered by scaring me!” She fell back again. “God, damn it!” 

Roy composed himself as he walked over to lean over her. “I’m sorry.” Though he really wasn’t. “The back of your head was too beautiful, I was frozen. I couldn’t move by its beauty.” 

She didn’t look convinced. 

“Come on,” he waved at her, reaching down to help her up. “Dinner smells amazing.” As she took his hand and stood up, stretching her back, Roy looked at the metal mess that was in the guest room. “What are you doing?”

She blushed, giggling lightly. “It’s a drafting table,” she grinned. “You’ll need it for school.” 

Roy nodded slowly, letting a grin creep upon him. “That’s freaking awesome.” 

“Yeah,” she glared. “I’m tempted to take it back with an act like that!” She crossed her arms, leaning away from him. 

Roy laughed, wrapping his arms around her in a big hug. “What’s for dinner?”

Suppose they both had wishes that were not so easily fulfilled. She wanted him to leave the military, and he wanted her to move in with him. Barriers between their happiness were thick and heavy. It wasn’t going to be easy. As he chewed on his garlic and rosemary chicken, Roy was determined to put as much of his resentment aside so that he could have her nearer.  _ Maybe if I ignore it long enough, it will go away. I will move past it.  _

“Sheska had remembered my book verbatim!” Riza took a small bite of her asparagus. “She was looking over my paper and was able to even cite the references. The woman is a genius.” 

Roy grinned as he watched her. They were finally catching up and the dinner that was served would not provide enough time to say everything that was between them.  _ Looks like we need dessert too.  _

“She said my content was academically sound, and I’d think Sheska would know.” 

“I guess she’s more than just cheesy romances,” Roy said with his mouth full. 

“Speaking of which.” Riza pointed her fork at him. “She has three more books for you. She’s going through a western phase.” 

Roy nodded, keeping the grin on his face.

“Do you even read them?”

Roy nodded, keeping his grin. “Yeah. I do.” 

“I never see any,” Riza said suspiciously as she looked around. 

“I keep them under my mattress.” 

Riza burst into laughter. “You’re so funny! Why would you keep them there?”

Roy leaned forward, smirking mischievously. “That’s where all men keep their porn.” 

“Oh! Come on,” Riza wrinkled her nose. 

“Oh,” he snickered. “There’s a reason why Sheska reads them. You can’t tell me she’s an angel.” He waved his fork at her, making a point. 

“So, your classes are going well?”

Roy nodded. “Most of them are at my own pace. So, the more I do, and the faster pace that I go at, the faster I get my degree.” 

“You have that kind of time?” Riza raised her eyebrow in speculation. 

Roy shrugged. “Off and on.” 

“What about work? You are always working so many hours.” 

Roy took a drink of the white wine and leaned back in his seat. “Oh, it’s getting busy. But I find time. I’m tapering off the last of my physical therapy. I’m back to the expected physical standards they expect of me.” Roy internally flinched. Knowing that he was healthy and well could only give her more fears of the military using him in war. However, Riza didn’t say anything like that. 

Instead, Riza’s smile grew and nodded excitedly. “That’s so wonderful! You’re fully healed!” Roy watched as she sipped her wine and leaned forward on her elbows. “I missed you,” she whispered. 

“Riza,” he said gently in return. “I missed you.” 

She pushed her plate to the side. “You wouldn’t mind if I stayed this weekend, would you?”

He shook his head. “I think you know that I’d like that very much.” 

* * *

The bar played lively, feet stomping on the stage as the guitar strings rang loudly over the speakers. Roy had to lean close to Maes as they talked about Gracia’s absence. “If you get locked out again, we bought that new couch!” Maes nudged Roy’s shoulder. “Or you can crawl with me in my empty bed. It’s Gracia’s bad for leaving me for another week!” 

“She’s going south quite a bit,” Roy said loudly to his best friend. “Is she going to be transferred there?”

“No,” Maes quickly shook her head. “That’s why she commutes so often. I told her I’m not moving south. No way! It’s too hot down there.” 

“And what does she say to that?” Roy listened carefully for his answer.  _ What does the perfect couple do about such a disagreement?  _

Maes leaned back with a confident grin. “She said ‘fine’ and commutes. In return, I sleep alone for five days a month.” 

_ Compromise.  _

Maria nudged Denny. “Riza’s been gone a while. Where did she go?” 

Roy popped his head up and pointed to the bar. “She went to get Maes and me a drink.” 

“She’s been over there some time,” Denny nodded as he pointed to the end of the bar. “Looks like she met a friend.” 

But it didn’t. The man was clearly getting frustrated with her. “He’s hitting on her,” Maes announced the obvious. “And she’s not falling for him. Looks like you have a loyal lady. You better marry her.” 

“I’ve been trying,” Roy muttered angrily in return. He stood up and started making his way towards Riza. He could hear her arguing with the man, holding her own. Roy wasn’t even sure if it was necessary to intervene. 

“You should,” the man continued to tell you. “It’s a fast car. You haven’t felt adrenaline till you drove in a speedster like mine!” 

“I shoot,” Riza replied with a roll of her eyes. “You haven’t felt adrenaline unless you’ve been shot at by me.” 

The man leaned over. “That’s not ladylike. It’s the man that shoots. A woman receives.” His hand touched her shoulder. 

Riza went to step away but Roy’s hand shot out and grabbed the man’s hand to remove it from his girlfriend. “Hey, Riza. Is this man being a jerk?”

“He is a jerk,” she snickered. “The bigger jerk is this bartender who forgot about me.” 

Roy stepped between the man and Riza, placing her in his chest and waved at the bartender. He felt a hand grab the back of his collared shirt and pull him back. It was on. Roy spun and stepped forward. The man was a head taller than him when he stood upright, and Roy didn’t flinch. His body went stiff and he turned his shoulder to shield Riza behind him. “Hey,” the man slurred. “You’re in the way of me talking to the beautiful chick behind you.” 

“Back off,” he responded firmly. “She’s my girlfriend and she says you're a jerk. She doesn’t want to talk to you.” 

Roy swore he saw a slight smirk as if the guy was looking for a fight and was excited to get his way.  _ The bigger they are, the harder they fall.  _ There was another time he had thought that way. The memory of his sisters freaking outplayed vividly in his memory. He was going to have to be careful. 

“I’m not going to ask again. Move.” 

Roy bent his knees slightly, getting ready to fight. “I’m not going to tell you again to scram.” 

Even with the punch thrown, Roy couldn’t move out of the way. He’d leave Riza, who he was unsure if she was paying any attention, in harm's way. Instead, he grabbed the man’s arm under his own, holding it tight against his body, and stepped forward. It threw the man off balance and Roy let go of his arm. A fight at a bar with music would not be appropriate. The bar was full of younger college students, with lady drinks half off. They were there to enjoy themselves. The man didn’t think so. He growled at the embarrassment of being thrown off balance and threw another punch. Roy blocked it out of the way, knocking it as if it was a bothersome fly. 

“Roy,” Riza said angrily behind him. “He’s an ass. Let’s go.” 

“You can set those down,” Maes told Riza behind him. “I think Maria’s beer is empty. Roy and I will escort this jackass out of the bar.” 

“You two?” 

“I suggest you leave.” 

“Or a man with glasses will kick my ass. It will take more than two of you to get me down.” 

Roy rolled his shoulders back. “My girlfriend is right. This guy is an idiot.” 

The man took a wide punch at Roy again, which Roy ducked this time. Being smaller had its benefits. But Maes reached out and with four fingers extended, leaned over the crouched Roy and popped the man in the throat, right above the sternum. The giant instantly coughed falling to the ground. The man was a moron if Maes could do such an embarrassing attack.

“Man,” Maes leaned over the gasping guy. “You need to get some air.” 

“He’s gasping pretty hard there,” Roy grinned as he rolled his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you outside.” 

The man continued to cough as Roy and Maes leaned down and grabbed the aggressor's arms over their shoulders. Roy missed days like these; days when they were younger and Maes and he would work smoothly in bar fights.  _ The days of the academy live on,  _ he mused. They shoved open the back door, dropping the giant on the ground. 

Maes stood straight, running a hand through his hair with a confident and snarky grin. “I suggest you go home.”

Roy patted the man’s shoulder, grinning at the man’s glare towards the two of them. “You will feel better. You’re not going to die.” 

“Fuck the two of you.” 

“That kind of attitude got you in this situation,” Maes corrected nicely. “I suggest you go do some yoga and find a happy place.” 

The two friends turned and walked back into the bar as if nothing had happened to begin with. Maes waved down the bartender while Roy dropped a few Cenz on the counter. “That was better than last time I was in a bar argument.” 

“Is that what you call them,” Maes laughed. “You’re lucky I was around.” 

“I can’t take you two anywhere,” Riza frowned as they approached the table. “What the fuck.” 

“He was defending your honor,” Denny tried to explain. 

“Technically, Maes did,” Maria corrected. 

“Aren’t you afraid of anything,” Riza asked with a hard glare. “He was almost twice your size!” 

Maes leaned close to Riza. “He’s too drunk to know better.” 

“Drunk on love,” Denny chuckled. 

“I hope this is not a usual thing for you two military junkies,” Maria crossed her arms. “I so happen to like this bar.” 

“Office junkies,” Maes corrected sharply. 

Roy sat down next to his blonde maiden and shook his head. “Not since my side wound. Looks like I’m back in the game.” 

He didn’t see his best friend behind him pointing at himself and mouthing that it was him that saved Roy. 

“You can get your own beer,” Riza grinned back. “I think it’s safer for me if Maes protects me at the table.” 

Roy nodded a few times before stopping and putting his hand over his heart looking hurt. “Hey! I was the one protecting you!” 

“I saw Maes protect you,” Maria giggled. 

“So did I,” Denny quickly agreed. 

“Who’s the damsel in distress,” Riza asked with a mischievous glare in her eye. 

“Hey!” Roy pouted. “I’m the good guy here!” 

They continued to joke about Roy and Maes, which Maes enjoyed more than Roy, for the remainder of the night. The music was still good, and Riza spent a good part of it leaning on his shoulder when she laughed. It was refreshing to have her back at his side, back under his arm closer to his heart. He looked down at her while she bickered with Denny about the latest conspiracy.  _ Maybe you didn’t need my help. Maybe you had everything taken care of. But it doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to help you.  _ He turned to see Maes coming back with another round of beers.  _ I wasn’t there for you before. I will this time.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roy was having a bad day there huh? In the end, he gets to have a good time with friends though! But Roy has serious separation anxiety. The guy is addicted to Riza! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry it was out late. I'm trying to stay on top of them, but HOLY CRAP I have been busy. You'd think that with being home all the time that I'd have time for this, but NOOOOO. *Glares at life* #adulting. It's too many pages at once. I do hope all of you are staying well. I'm working on 16 as you read this, and later chapters that I am still working on. I'll get to homework eventually XD 
> 
> Thank you for reading. See ya next time.


	16. Getting Lost, Being Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza asks to get lost for her birthday. So, Roy takes her out into the mountains to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rando, You're great with all the editting. That's right, folks. He's a superhero! Mostly because it's all garbage until he looks it over.   
> Enjoy!

“I want to get lost.” 

It was a decent request for her birthday, original and open to contextual discussion. She watched him, thinking probably five hundred different definitions to “get lost.” He could let her lose herself between his sheets. Lost all sensibility to being intoxicated. To walk without a map and physically be lost. She decided to just go with whatever he decided. She was in school for her birthday, and he was sure to send her flowers, but he was also busy so he would not see her. He was staying late and busy that his own school was demanding more of his own attention. She wanted to hear him, to feel his heartbeat against her cheek. He promised she’d be excited for the weekend but how could she not? How could she not want to feel him under her fingers and taste the sweat on his neck from the hot sun? Then he added to his absence a promise to fulfill her birthday wish. It made her anxious thinking about it. 

“You couldn’t give a defined idea,” Maria asked. “What do you want it to be?”

“I’m not sure,” Riza hummed as she took a drink of her latte.

“He could take you on a helicopter ride and drop you off somewhere! You would have to walk out!” Maria rubbed her forehead with a chuckle. “Nevermind, you’d like that.” 

Riza giggled. “I wouldn’t want to do it alone. I may have liked that a couple years ago.” 

“Speaking of which, how many helicopter rides has he taken you on?”

She scratched her head before taking another drink. “Just the two. But I had to volunteer both times.” It was a casual answer as if it wasn’t a big deal. 

“Oh,” Maria laughed sarcastically. “What a sacrifice.” 

“I bet he’d take you if you’d pretend to be dead or dying.” 

She doubted that was what Roy had in mind. Without seeing him, she couldn’t see his grin, tickle the truth from him, or bribe him with a kiss. There was a serious sense of surprise because of their lack of communication. If she knew better, Riza would say he was doing it on purpose.

“Maybe he will buy me a book.” She smiled. “Or he will buy me some music, take me to a symphony in East or West City…”   


“Or he could teach you to repel from the helicopter.” 

“What is your obsession with a helicopter. Maria?”

“Or go skydiving!” 

On Thursday he sent her a message telling her to pack a bag.  **‘Or don’t and I will tell you what you need.’**

_ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?  _ Riza sat against the wall on her bed and looked at Sheska’s empty desk.  _ So we know he's going to take me on an overnight trip.  _ She asked him how many nights. No response.  **‘Where are we going to go and I can be properly prepared.’** Nothing back.  _ Shit head.  _

After two hours, before she was getting ready to crawl into bed, her phone lit up next to her. “Do you work tomorrow?”

She squinted. “Yes…” 

“Call in. I will see you before dawn.” 

_ That’s easy for a man who never calls in himself.  _ To add to it, didn’t he have class too? 

* * *

“Hey,” he greeted as she opened her door. “Are you ready?” He had on a red t-shirt, jeans, looking like he had just woken up with a thermos in his hand. It was starting to be his normal motief. “You’ll want to have shirts, pants, and sunscreen.” 

“You are vaguer than a white canvas.” She let him in her dorm as she walked to her closet. 

“I have a backpack for you.” He chuckled, leaning against the entryway wall. “We are going camping. We should be back Sunday night.” 

She wanted to jump up and down, wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him madly. “Why didn’t you just say that?” She held in an excited scream. 

He thumbed over his shoulder. “I just barely got the gear yesterday morning. My buddy let me borrow a tent, two sleeping bags, some cooking gear, and two backpacks.” 

Riza pulled her shirt over her head as she looked for her bra. “And your back up plan?”

She could feel his lustful stare on her bare back. “I shouldn't have told you. You’d have to be lost in the unknown.” He chuckled. He didn’t even help her pack. He tossed her a shirt but mostly looked around. “Where is Bookworm? 

“She has family issues. I think she went home on Wednesday. Her mom is sick.”

He hummed as he stood behind her. “Are you ready yet?”

“No!” She snapped. “I would have been if you would have freaking told me what we were doing!” 

He laughed loudly as he admitted his scheme worked. 

Roy did help her pack her backpack and did stop for more coffee and a breakfast sandwich before heading West. It was a decent drive, one she was happy to catch a few more minutes of sleep. She would have normally slept deeply, letting herself rest from a stressful week, however, she could only rest her eyes with the actual excitement that burned within her. She was very curious about where he was thinking of taking her, if there was ever a destination to begin with. The smooth road turned bumpy and she opened an eye to see the sun rising out her window. It’d grown mostly over the mountain, warming her face in a loving embrace. 

“There you are,” he said gently. “Good morning.” 

Riza couldn’t help but to let her body relax into his car’s seat with the view of him. The view outside had nothing on his bright smile, the way he held his thermos to get a sip for the caffeinated nectar. His hair fell over his forehead, almost into his eyes. There should have been teasing and questions as to why he hadn’t gotten a haircut yet, but it was a dangerously good look on him. With one hand on the wheel and a relaxed posture of dropped shoulders with a slight recline, he stared at the dirt road that was leaving them into a dense green forest. His t-shirt was form-fitting. It wasn’t tight like he was a sports jock or a military cadet, showing off his new body. The shirt was as relaxed as he was. Her eyes tiredly fell to his pants. Again, they weren’t tight. He never wore tight pants. There was still a distinct bulge that made her blush. The sight of him overall made her drool.  _ He’s only gotten better looking with each day.  _ That was the beautiful truth.

He pulled into a trailhead, getting out and opening the trunk to get the backpacks. They were a little larger than an overnight backpack. It was packed tightly and she was impressed with the even distribution of weight. She bounced it on her shoulders, looking towards the trail which disappeared into the woods. He pulled out a fishing pole, strapping it to his backpack. There was a loud bang as he shut the trunk and he shifted the backpack on his shoulders for it to settle on his back. “You okay,” he asked as he approached her. He pulled the shoulder straps, making sure it was secure on her. He reached to the waist belt. Her gaze followed his hands as he tenderly clicked it together, pulling the material so that it was comfortable for her. “It’s about twelve miles in.” 

This excited her. It’d been far too long since she hiked this deep into the unknown. She’d never explored this part of Amestris. With thumbs under his shoulder straps and an excited grin, Riza nodded and led the way through the trees. It was lush. It was more than lush. The ground was soft and dark beneath her feet. Tree roots rose above the rich soil and she was careful to step over them. “Do you know where we're going?” She was helpless to slow her step and stop to look at the soft purple of wild geraniums. 

“Nope,” he replied too casually. She could feel him standing behind her, waiting patiently for her to fill her satisfaction with the flowers. She had always appreciated a colorful bloom. It was how she “lost” herself when she was a child. She could always go to the garden and avoid the dark home of her father. “You said you wanted to get lost. I figured we’d wing it.” Riza turned to see his side grin, smirking at his own jab at her getting lost. 

A rabbit dashed across the trail, birds sang from their homes above, and the sun filtered between the trees. The air was cool compared to July in Central where the lack of air conditioning was a testament of stubbornness and will power. They climbed a steep part, their legs burning with their lungs as the trail twisted back and forth. She was in heaven. She’d build a home in this dense forest, surrounded by to songs of Jays and hummingbirds who’d visit in the spring. After the first summit, they noticed a creek below. It was shallow with colorful rocks that painted a rainbow under the clear water. She admired the waves and twists of the liquid glass, fluid, and smooth in shape and motion. 

The trail faded out of the trees and into a vibrant green field. She was surprised in the absence of a deer or elk, however, the serenity and solitude of the area left her with complete satisfaction within herself. There was nowhere else on earth, even in Roy’s bed that gave her such peace in her soul. A light breeze waved a silver band across the grass. Something warm brushed under her hand and she looked down to see his hand, weaving into hers. “I wasn’t expecting this,” he whispered. “Maybe we  _ are  _ lost.” 

She snickered. “We are right where we need to be.” 

He pulled her into the field, letting her go at her pace before stopping her by a large flat rock. “Hungry?” 

She was but didn’t realize it until he said something. He reached into his pack as her eyes watched him with adoration. He was doing everything right. Memories tickled in the back of her memory of picnics and summits of rolling hills of the farmlands. The way his hand felt then as it had taken hers, looking over flat fields of corn, wheat, and barley. The view was much different this time, but his presence was the same. There was no one on Earth she’d rather spend this moment, this second in time, with. As he pulled out a sandwich, he also handed her an apple. Not one word was spoken. The only sounds being that of the trees creaking and the grass chattering in the breeze. He was looking upward at the clouds, chewing his sandwich slowly.  _ He must be in deep thought, _ she determined. 

The sun was growing hot when they donned their packs again and crossed the grass to reach the other side. They split, looking for the trail to pick up before she waved him over with her discovery. The trail was the only evidence to human existence out there. At one point, they’d grown quiet from their conversation and she could hear him humming behind her. She didn't recognize the song… maybe she would have if there were words. It was amusing enough to look over her shoulder and see him grin behind her. 

“I have the best view this forest has to offer,” he winked. 

She giggled and stopped abruptly. She felt him grab her pack with the sudden stop. He looked over her shoulder. “Oh,” she continued to giggle. “I thought I’d stop so you could take a picture.” 

She felt his fingers tickle below her ribs. “I did miles ago.” His voice was husky, deep with a hint of playfulness. 

It was difficult to not turn and kiss him, and maybe she should have. There was no younger foster sister or roommate to stop them. It was the two of them, in  _ their  _ environment. She felt his lips against her temple and it spurred her to continue walking. When they arrived at the lake, there’d be time for fireside cuddles and kisses in the sleeping bags. And still, the trail climbed. Her body ached as did her lungs as she saw another crest. Roy behind her was huffing as he leaned over, holding his side. 

“Are you okay,” she asked. 

“I should be. You’d think that I’d be fit enough for this, but the office has made me weak. Paperwork is the demise of Roy Mustang.” He stood up and looked over her shoulder. “Are we there?”

Riza took a few more steps to realize that she was standing on a cliffside, overlooking a blue lake. It was blue, not just water colored but mineral blue, a natural turquoise. There were trees around most of it, a small clearing to where she’d assume the trail ended. There was no sign of a camping area, but that clearing. She stepped towards the cliff, looking down at the water. “How cold do you think it is?” The sun beat down on her neck while her hat did it’s best to shade her eyes. 

“It’s snow-fed,” he said as he looked down too. “So it's got to be pretty cold. I heard there was fish here. So hopefully I can catch dinner.” 

“How far do you think we’re up?”

Roy looked down again. “I don’t know,” he squinted. 

She put her pack down. He turned to set his down too. “Are you getting tired? I can carry your pack the rest of the way.” 

“No, that’s fine,” she shook her head, stretching her shoulders and her arms to the sky. She rolled her neck, looking over the edge one last time. “I’ve always been the crazy one, right?”

“Riza?” His head popped up at her and she grinned back at him. “Don’t - “ 

She leaped from the ground, feeling the rush of the cool air as she free fell. She crossed her ankles, pulling her arms into her chest as she hit the bone-chilling water. It felt amazing. Her hat was gone, and as she surfaced, she found it floating a couple of feet from her. 

“God damn it, Woman,” Roy called from above. 

Riza only laughed as she leaned back to half float on her back. “Pussy,” she called back. “It’s too cold for a hot stud like yourself.” 

Roy stepped back and she swam back from the cliff. She could see him debating it as he looked down, then back at the packs, then at her. “You’re freaking crazy!” 

“Oh, come on!” 

“Wooo,” he called as his feet left the cliff. His arm rotated in the air before pulling tight into his torso, hitting the water with a sizable splash. A second later a deep gasp sounded as his black head popped from the blue surface. “Shit,” he cried out. “It’s cold! Does feel good though.” He swam towards her as he looked around. “You’re lucky it was deep enough. We don’t know what’s beneath us.” 

“We only live once.” She treaded the water, snickering at him as he ran his hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes. 

“You only die once too,” he muttered. 

“Unless you’re Roy Mustang, then you kick death’s ass.” 

Roy laughed as he started to swim to the side, spitting out water. “My shoes are wet,” he grumped. “I’m going to have to start a fire to dry out.” 

He did go back up the trail to retrieve their bags while Riza walked the beach area to find an appropriate camping spot. She found rocks, placing them in a circle, and gathered grass to put under the tent to lessen the chill from the ground. There were a few jagged peaks around the lake, another creek, a faster one with a few boulders.  _ That’s the water intake,  _ she noted. On the other side of the cliff that she jumped from was a fast decline in the ground she’d assume was the water’s escape.  _ I will have to venture up river to see if there is anything cool.  _

“Find a spot?” A soggy Roy carried the two packs as he walked into the open. 

“I think this spot will work.” She looked around. “We made good time,” she admitted. “And it’s not raining.” 

The comment was referring to one of their last trips as teens in which it was raining so hard that the tent was useless. Memorable, but not cherished. 

“Thank God,” he muttered, setting the bags down. “I have a purifier if you want to go get some water.” He pulled a foldable bucket from his bag. “I will start getting a fire going.” 

Roy was true to his word. In a few minutes, he had a small flame going. He was always good at starting fires. He found some sticks, digging them into the ground on either side of the fire. Then he found a third one. It wasn’t the straightest, but, soon as she figured out that he was making a drying stand over the fire. She wasn’t surprised in the least bit when he put a log and a few sticks over the fire, and took off his pants. 

“Ah,” he sighed in relief. “It’s so warm out.” 

She laughed. 

“You should come take your… I mean dry your clothes out too.” She watched as his smirk grew, crooked and goofy looking. 

She was well aware of that gaze. And how she wanted to. But she wasn’t going to play blatantly with him, but preferred to play a bit coy. So, Riza laughed instead, not heeding her heart's quick beats as he pulled his shirt over his head. “I have to go get firewood, or you’re going to be cold all night.” 

She left him standing in his boxers in the grass, calling out to her to come join him. Roy grumped. “I’m going to get sunburnt because I don’t have anyone to put sunscreen on my back!” He called after her. 

Riza raised her eyebrow at Roy, who stayed in his boxers as long as the warm sun allowed. Instead of standing in her underwear, she put on some dry clothes, laying the wet ones out to dry. She put sunscreen on his back and watched him find a rock to fish from. He put the pole in his hand, leaned back and closed his eyes. Riza found herself naturally attracted, physically, and magnetically, as she made her own place on the grass next to him. Her book in her handheld steady while she chewed on an energy bar, sipping water from a bottle. At one moment, she had the idea of getting her cell and listening to some Claude Debussy while she soaked in the well-earned sun, but nature's song held her to the present. The world around her breathed, birds singing, blades of grass slipping against one another, and the breeze against the cliffed mountains. The water lapped gently against the shore, and she couldn’t help but listen to what she was given. This was not a place for electronics. It was a place for organic and unadulterated subjects. There was going to be no distractions, no interruptions. They were going to simply exist with the trees and the sun and the mountains. 

“Hey,” she heard him call out. “I got one!” 

Riza popped her head over to see the line zig oneway and zag the other. Roy had always enjoyed fishing. It’d be nice to have fresh trout as well. With a raised eyebrow, she realized she had no idea what he’d even packed for food. She was completely reliant on him for this trip. It was a relief, and anxious at the same time. A decent-sized trout was pulled from the water and Roy grinned as he held it up to show her. She’d just have to trust that he packed nonperishable foods. 

“Dinner,” he smirked. “Am I awesome or what?”

“Very,” she nodded, standing up to kiss him congratulations. He gutted the fish immediately while she wandered back to camp. His clothes had dried for the most part so she laid them out on the rocks. Although he was running about in his underwear, Riza couldn’t stop admiring him. She couldn’t help her eyes from lingering on his shoulders, his chest, and toned stomach. His hair was going each and every way while his grin radiated. “Hey,” she raised her eyebrows. “How long till dinner?”

Roy shrugged, putting the fish on some grass. “I figured I’d start now. I’m hungry.” 

Riza walked over to him, leaning over his back as he rummaged through a bag. Her hands rubbed up and over his shoulders, feeling the muscles taunt under her fingers. 

“I brought some spices and oil. There’s a pan in here too. It will just take me about twenty minutes and dinner is served.” 

She leaned against his form. “I’m pretty hungry too,” she whispered in his ear seductively. “Does Mustang have any spice for me?”

Roy froze before jumping up. “A well seasoned Riza is all that I need,” he joked. She could only laugh as she was picked up, her legs quickly wrapping around his waist, as he walked quickly over to the tent. He didn’t just dump her in. Roy wasn’t like that. He let her down, grabbed a sleeping bag, and in what Riza can only describe as rush precision, he unwrapped and laid it down in a few seconds. A friendly “rawr” was growled at her as he pounced on her, pressing her with his body against the cool sleeping bag. 

Riza laughed as his fingers danced along her sides, pulling her shirt off and telling her that, “she was not playing fair with so many clothes on.” He quickly tossed her shirt out of the tent. “These pants are far too restricting on you, my dear,” he laughed, unbuttoning her lives. 

“Are you going to toss it outside?” 

Roy sat up, sitting over her as his knees were set on either side of her hips. He tapped his lips, looking as if he was seriously debating it. Riza knows otherwise. “Uhm. Yes.” He sat back, rolling from his ankles and pulling at her pants. She wiggled her hips, letting his mission be accomplished. As soon as it was, he gave her no time to get up. He was playfully passionate. She gave away that her neck was somewhat ticklish and he always made a point to kiss there a few times to see her squirm. She liked it even if she was telling him to stop. Her hands pressed against his chest and he laughed against her. He was clearly, and undoubtedly, aroused. It turned her on even more as his hands ran up her torso to her breasts, giving them a tender squeeze. 

She gasped out, sighing heavily. “Where’s the condoms?” 

His lips pressed against hers, kissing her roughly. “In...my… bag,” he muttered as he fought with his boxers while kissing her. “Come on,” he finally yelled, rolling off her to get his underwear off all the way. She took the moment and ran out of the tent to get into his bag. She pulled stuff aside, looking through it before he felt her grab her around the waist and pulled her up high. Riza couldn’t do anything but laugh. “You thought you could get away!” 

“Roy! You’re naked!” 

He laughed loudly, putting her over his shoulder. He calmly leaned over and unzipped the front pocket, reaching in and grabbing a string of condoms. “That should be enough.” 

“Let me down!” She wiggled against him, poking him in the side trying to get him to laugh, trying to find a soft spot. 

“Oh,” he turned to the water. “You wanted to go swimming again?”

Riza chuckled, calling his bluff, as he walked towards the water. “You couldn’t hold an erection in cold water like that.” 

He stopped, sighing loudly. “Yeah…” He turned on a dime and walked proudly towards the tent. “Tent it is!” 

He put her down, Riza laughing as he gave her a loud raspberry to her side. He crawled over her, looking deeply into his eyes. “I hope that this birthday is amazing,” he whispered, rubbing his nose against hers. 

Riza could see the tenderness and wanting in his eyes. He just wanted her to be happy. She leaned forward, kissing him. “It will be,” she assured. 

Kissing him alone was a rush of heat to her body. She could take in a deep breath before, and it seemed rushed out the second his lips came in contact with hers. She moaned against him, her hands pulling his sides for closer contact. The heat between them was softly intense, a kindling flame that would burn brighter with the friction of their bodies. Her hands felt his whole body, feeling every muscle flex and he slipped deeper into her. Her back arched, Roy taking her nipple into his mouth. It was amazing that in a short time, it felt like he knew what made her tick, what she needed at the right time. He knew where his finger needed to be in her to send her right to the edge of space. And he knew the angle that made her stomach tighten with pleasure. Her fingers found his hair, rubbing roughly against his scalp and making him moan from his throat. He sat up, pulling away from their kiss. In a kneel, Roy pulled her close to him, getting a deeper angle on her. “Roy,” she cried out. No one else was there, no one else could hear her. She could let it all out for him. 

“Riza,” he mirrors. “Oh, yes!” 

The pace picked up and she consciously tightened herself just to see his rhythmic beat stop for a second and keep going. She couldn’t grab him anymore. She could reach his legs, but not his body. She wanted to feel his abs, feel the sweat on his chest. She wanted to feel the moan reverberate through his body, hear him grunt against her lips. His head fell back with another moan of her name. She was just as close to completion as he was. Her hands reached up to grasp the sleeping bag, lifting her hips just enough for him. It was over. They’d never played with the idea of being “loud.” It was liberating. She was able to just let it out, letting the orgasm flow through her. Roy was not the same. When she did open an eye to look at him, he just sat there grinning. 

In many ways, she was happy that she never had sex with Tyler or the ones before him. However, at the same time, she was disappointed in herself. She’s deprived herself of a simple and animalistic pleasure. Rationally, she’d feel the emotional connection through the orgasm. They laid in the tent laughing, side by side, struggling to stay on the sleeping bag. Roy’s arms were wrapped all the way around her while Riza’s forehead rested on his breastbone. “I love you,” she whispered. 

“Riza,” he breathed. “I’ve always loved you.” 

They didn’t want to leave either. A sagging condom and a fish by the fire broke their intimacy. “We will come back to this later,” he patted her hip. “I promise.” 

She hoped so. 

The tent was made with a comfortable bed ready. The woodpile was stocked well, and Riza was cleaning up the mess of dinner. She wanted to brush her hair so badly. She was ready to brush it out, rinse her face, and sit back under the array of stars that accompanied them without the city’s own lights. The crackle of the fire and his hold was the perfect lullaby. The crescent moon helped darken the sky and she did her best to keep her eyes on the task on hand. 

“What are you doing,” Riza asked, seeing him mixing something in a pot. 

“I’m going to make you a birthday cake!” He held up a confetti cake box mix. 

She couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think that’s going to work.” She shook her head as she put the clean cooking pan on a towel next to him. “I have got to see this.” 

It was good to not have to worry about anything outside of these woods. That was the reason why she loved to disappear and go enjoy the outdoors. It wasn’t about getting your degree for tomorrow, or wondering what you’re going to do a month from now. Nature provided her with the ease of living today; the now. There was no rush, no need for anything in particular. It was the only place her father couldn't get to her. It wasn't much different from today. It felt complete with Roy. He did silly things, like cook a birthday cake in a pot over a fire, or wrestle with her in the tent. She wasn’t old, and she didn’t need to act old. There was no need for proper manners, only antics of the childish kind. 

“Come sit next to me,” he waved. Riza sat next to him, pulling her hair into a tie. She felt his lips press to her temple. “I love you,” he whispered. 

Riza laid her head against his shoulder, letting him wrap his arm around her and pulling her in. The fire was perfect as it died down to red coals, the stars above them shined like silver glitter. “We got lucky with this good weather,” she whispered. 

“Oh yeah. You know how mountain weather is.” He looked up. “No clouds at all. I wish I had a camera that could catch this.” 

A burning hiss grabbed both of their quick attention and they sat up to see the pot overflowing with cake mix. Roy leaped forward to save her birthday cake while Riza could only laugh. He pulled it out with a stick, opening it to see the batter boiling. “Damn it,” he grumbled. “I think the bottom burnt too.” 

She bit her cheek as she held back an “I told you so,” with the steel cookware. Instead, she watched him pout and poke the pot with the stick again. “It was a valiant effort,” she comforted with a pat on the back and a gentle rub. “It’s okay. I’m not disappointed.” 

“I am,” he trumped. 

Riza only continued to laugh. “I’m just happy you tried.” She leaned over to him, kissing his cheek softly. “It means a lot, Roy. Thank you.” 

* * *

They woke with the sun, the warm air bringing life to their tent. Riza woke first, as she normally did. Roy’s limbs were tangled around her and she honestly debated to not move at all.  _ I can come back after I pee,  _ she reasoned. A moan behind her broke her thoughts and she turned as Roy fell back on his back with a loud groan. They’d zipped the bags together, making it a bigger bag for them to cuddle in. It was 100% worth it. Even in the chill of the mountain night, Roy always was warm enough to keep them comfortable. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him as their bodies' contours sealed together. 

“I have to pee,” she complained as she tried to sit up again. 

He murmured something followed by, “I do too.”

It was overall disappointing not being up with the sun. Unlike her boyfriend, she was a morning person.  _ I will have to make sure I’m up tomorrow for that.  _ She watched as the sun warmed the area. Two hands landed on her sides rubbing up and down as Roy’s stubbled chin rested on her shoulder. “You look amazing in the morning,” he whispered in her ear, his warm breath rolling down her neck. “I’d say I was hungry for breakfast…But we both know I’m thinking of you instead.” 

Riza giggled. Affection. It was something that she never knew she needed. Her head fell back onto him and she looked up at the light blue sky. “I said I wanted to get lost,” she whispered. “And I thought I was.” 

“Hm?” Roy nudged his nose into her messy hair. 

“But I think I’ve been found instead.” 

“Riza,” he breathed, turning so that he could face her. “You were never lost, you were meant to be found.” 

Into the sleeping bag they returned. In the empty meadow, along the banks of a soft blue lake, laughter echoed against the sharp jagged rocks of the looming mountains. She never felt another’s fingers dance over her skin like his, nor did she ever wish to feel different. Roy brought euphoria to her life, made her body ache for lips upon it, not just on his lips but on each of her ribs, the scar on her back, and her hip bones where it was most sensitive.

When he entered her, her whole body lit up, an electrical shock from her pelvis to her fingertips. Her muscles, not just her vagina but her whole body, spasmed and her back arched. She tried to take a deep breath, but Roy’s mouth was fast upon hers. As he groaned, she felt it on her lips. He had to breathe too, and pulled up, pressing up on his arms to get a better position. “Fuck,” she’d curse as she felt him slowly work his way deeper. Roy also had a habit, even now, of waiting. He’d get into her, and just wait like he was waiting for her to catch up with him, or maybe it was the other way around. Sometimes he’d ask if she was okay, sometimes he’d curse too. 

Her arms wrapped under his arms, to the back of his shoulder blades as she pulled herself to him. Her abs ached as she flexed, letting him rub her on the inside just at the angle she needed it. Instead of being a bit rougher, Roy was soft and easy moving for her. It was the morning that dawned upon them, the sun warming the land with its kind warmth. He wasn’t much different with her. He wasn’t going to “bang” her awake. They instead woke up together, their bodies feeling the intimacy of the other. With the roll of her hips, the dipping and stretching them to and from Earth, she heard him wheeze and beg for her to stop. She was so tight she could feel him pulsing, feel him through the thin condom as he neared his own high. He leaned down, kissing her softly, sucking lightly but with no pressure. It was slight and airlike. There was no other way to describe it. There was no way to describe her body rolling downhill into euphoria either. HIs hands grabbed her head, kissing her forehead and hair as she felt the orgasm spread like fire throughout her nervous system. Her toes curled inward and her fingers pressed against his own skull. He continued to come at his own pace, slow and long. It was like it was never going to end. It just kept going. 

“Shit,” she cried out, not knowing if her body could take a longer orgasm. 

“Yes,” he whispered. “Yes…” 

“Roy, you have to stop.” 

With some reluctance, he finally did. As soon as he withdrew, she collapsed, needing only air but a moment for her to relax and internally accept the incredible experience. “You’re freaking amazing,” she breathed. 

He only chuckled, sitting up to pull the condom off. His chest rose and fell with heaviness. “Well, I don’t like to brag but…” 

Riza sat up and slapped his thigh. 

He only flinched away, laughing loudly. He laid down next to her, pulling her into him. It was the cuddling that was the best part. It made it so much more intimate. Her eyes closed as she sighed, letting her body relax with each breath. Suddenly, her chest tightened as she thought about her dreads and fears. It wasn’t like she wanted to think them. The intrusive thoughts grasped her, creating a barrier between the two. “Don’t leave me,” she whispered to him as she wiggled closer to him in the sleeping bag. 

He hummed as his arm held her close to him. His other hand supported his head as he laid on his back. “I’m not going anywhere, Riza.” Roy turned his head to give her a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m yours forever.” 

However, they couldn’t stay in the tent all day. The sleeping bag needed to be shaken out, fire restarted, breakfast made. Roy chose to wear pants that day, silently to her disappointment. Before he could ready himself for another midday nap with pole in hand, Riza decided they’d hike up along the creek. On the other side of the lake were some trees and a nice slope where she thought they could nap in the afternoon, have a small picnic, and Roy could fish in the shade. 

“Come with me,” she encouraged. “Maybe we’ll see something cool.” 

Roy put a shirt on, pulling it over his head. Her heart skipped again.  _ Even him putting a shirt _ **_on_ ** _ is sexy.  _

The trail was most likely a game trail. It was faint, thin, crossing the fast-moving creek. As they moved up and both had to stop and enjoy the view. It felt good to feel her body burn, her body pushing itself. It was her way of proving she was human. Being secluded with her father and being so isolated in her hometown had greatly influenced Riza to get out and see everything she could. She had told Roy at once while sitting in a tree that she wanted to travel the world, travel to every country, eat weird foods. She wanted to climb mountains and learn to sail a boat. Roy just grinned as he sat next to her, still children in their own right, and said, “Let’s do it.” 

The trail thinned and turned. “Riza,” she saw Roy stop ahead of her, pointing up towards the steep cliffs. “Mountain goats,” he turned back to her with a grin. “See their little white bodies?” 

Riza grinned back, tucking a yellow stray hair under her ball cap. They hadn’t seen any animals though Riza knew there were deer and elk in the area. She’d heard stories about wolves, however, they were rarely seen compared to the occasional fox. She never expected to see mountain goats. They took a moment to watch them before continuing upwards and along the lake.

Riza loved feeling the warm sun on her face. It was so much more vibrant, clear, kind of warmth than that in the industrial city. Her eyes would close and she'd lift her chin to let the sun blanket her skin. A cool breeze blew over the lake.  _ Alpine,  _ she breathed.  _ Where a cool breeze and warm sun brings the greatest of comforts.  _ Riza looked up to see Roy glancing back, giving her a coy smile. "What?" She could only snicker. He knew exactly  _ what.  _ She was thinking about it too. She could barely look away from the sexy ass in front of her.

"Thinking about you. That is all." Roy took a few larger steps as she heard him snicker loudly. 

She held her side bag which was packed with their lunch. Roy had brought a loaf of french bread, one they were surprised had made it without damage. They put peanut butter between two slices and they packed two more apples and a granola bar. It was easy and simple, perfect for their little stroll. 

It wasn’t a long hike. A stroll was a good word for it. The little game trail veered to and from the lakeside, and the lake wasn’t that big to begin with. It was too far to swim across, but far enough that it was over an hour hike to where she could see the grove of birch trees. They hiked up from another outgoing creek finding soft dirt and wild grass. “We should have camped here,” she panted. She dropped her side bag and dropped to the ground. The hike was nothing compared to the one reaching the lake, but it felt good to just lay down and feel the cool breeze roll over her in the shade. She heard Roy chuckled and looked over to see him drop over her. His arms on either side of her head, his knees on the sides of her hips. 

The heart in her chest beat rapidly as she stared into his ebony eyes. The smile he wore was one of passion. She giggled, listening to him chuckle, happiness surrounding them in the moment of intimacy. Roy’s face lowered to hers, his black bangs hovering over her face with a soft smile. “Marry me. Say yes and I will never say no to you.” 

Her chest heaved as she fought to regain a normal breath. “I can't say yes if I can't breathe,” she laughed as she hit his chest playfully as if he was making it hard for her to breathe. 

Roy snorted a short and quiet laugh as he rubbed his nose against hers. “When you do say yes, I hope it does take your breath away.” He was taking her breath away now.

Her hands reached up to feel his sides as his nose lowered to rub against hers. It felt like forever until his lips pressed against hers. He smelled sweaty, tasting the sweat that had rolled off his forehead and onto the corners of his lips. Riza couldn’t help her hips lifting, hoping to meet his. Honestly, that was his most powerful tool against her. His lips. If he wanted to reduce her to a mess, dropping to the ground and begging for him to finish her, it’d be a kiss he’d start with. Roy pulled from the kiss to brush his lips past the lobe of her ear and into her neck. “That's not fair.” She could feel him tasting her, kissed her neck and Riza lifted her head to give him more area to enjoy. It tickled and she giggled. But her skin didn’t crawl. Instead, it melted into their next kiss. She was addicted to him and in a moment she realized that she wasn’t scared of him. She wasn’t afraid of being dependent on him or losing him, or Roy letting her down. She was his, and he was hers. In the shade of a beautiful alpine day, next to the most heavenly lake, Riza Hawkeye was complete. 

“Let’s stay here,” she whispered as he tossed his bobber and worm into the water. “We can build a cabin and every day come up here and remember this weekend.” 

He chuckled and smiled kindly at her. 

“What do you want for your birthday?”

“That’s a ways away,” he reminded. 

“Still,” she looked over at him from her stop on the grass. “You have to have some idea.” 

“Well,” he scratched his cheek. “It will be too cold to come up here. I guess a night of cuddles and kisses.” 

“You’re too easy,” she teased. 

He had on the most relaxed look she’d seen on him. He hadn’t pinched the bridge of his nose once while there and the wrinkles on his forehead relaxed. They needed to do these more often. They needed to find themselves, find each other, and let themselves drown in the moment. “I was thinking,” she leaned forward on her knees, laying her head to the side to see him. “I think I will move in with you.” 

Roy’s head snapped at her, a larger than life shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “Seriously?” He dropped his pole and jumped up. “Really?”

_ I thought the sex made his day.  _ “Yeah.” 

He pulled her from the ground, grabbing her ass and lifting her to his waist. All Riza could do was laugh and hold on as he spun them around. “Oh my God!” He yelled happily. As they turned again, his foot hit a rock or a stick and he fell backward. They fell onto the soft Earth but that didn’t deter their laughter. There was a deep dark hatred for herself to think that she had been depriving him of such happiness. Her own comfort had deprived him of joy. 

_ ou can’t say that you won’t like it.  _ She told herself as she looked into his joyful eyes.  _ You are going to love waking up to this,  _ she kissed him, couldn’t help but kiss him over and over. So why did she wait so long? Why did she wait weeks? For little excuses of independence and work-study? She was a grown adult, in a teaching program, and she was a dorm manager? It seemed a little pathetic all of a sudden. Even Maria had moved in with Denny! 

“I love you,” He whispered. 

“Roy, I love you,” she whispered back. 

Maybe she’d be asking too much of him to begin with?  _ Roy has done nothing but love me,  _ she told herself as he reeled in a fish, a stupid grin still cemented on his lips.  _ In reality, he’s never asked anything of me either. How I reacted to him asking me to move in was immature.  _ There was a deeper, darker subject lying below her introspections.  _ I’ve continued to ask of him.  _ Riza sat down, pulling her legs to her chest, leaning on them as she watched him unhook the fish and put it back in the water.  _ What of me has he asked for me to change? He’s only asked me to love him in return, the same extent that he loves me, I suppose.  _ She squinted, disappointed in herself as she looked at the wild grass they sat on.  _ Truly, Roy has accepted me for I am. I need to return the favor. If the military is who he is, and what he loves, I need to love him for it.  _ It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was fair. Roy had gone out of his way to plan this whole trip for her. And although he was having a great time fishing and hiking with her, he wouldn’t have done this for himself.  _ What would you do for him that you would not do for yourself? _

Of course, they had to walk back. Roy had two fish in his hand, ready to be cooked for dinner and was walking ahead of her. As she watched his wide shoulders carefully climb over a log, Riza’s mind fantasized about campfire cocoa and falling asleep in his arms as the stars above twinkled over them. She wanted to curl up against him under the sleeping bag, pulling the fleece liner closer to her, and bury her face into his chest. The trout the night before was delicious and Riza would not deny that she was excited for dinner this evening. Ahead of her, Roy talked about the dinner how he had planned to prepare the potatoes and garlic he had packed. 

The water to their right stilled, mirroring the sky and cliffed ledges on the other side. They were living in a picture, a scene from a painting of Albert Bierstadt with clear waters, pointed peaks, and perfect rays of light through the setting clouds. It was breathtaking. She imagined in the morning, with a golden crown rising over the peaks, the fog would rise off the lake dissipating into the sun’s warmth. Her own wake would be harder than the sun’s but to see such a breathtaking view, and on their last morning, she’d do it. 

Before she could regain her stride behind Roy, she heard a crash and a curse. She peered towards the creek crossing to see Roy sitting on his ass in the creek. He was soaked with a pissed off look on his face, and the fish were gone. “Fucking water,” he muttered. “God damn it.” 

Riza had to stifle a laugh. Apparently, Roy had little luck with water all around. “Are you okay,” she giggled. 

“Yeah,” he grumped, pushing himself from the chilly water. “Just my ego bruised.” 

“And your side?”

“I’m fine,” he continued to grump. 

She stepped into the creek, holding a hand out to help him up. “You and water. You two don’t get along do you?” 

He waved her off, looking down at his wet pants. He started to laugh. “Looks like I’ll have to go pantless again.” 

Riza pushed him back, letting him land back into the creek as he laughed at his comment. With a roll of her eyes and the continued laughter of her boyfriend behind her, she took a few steps downstream to find the fish on the line tangled on a branch.  _ Roy’s sanity might be lost, but at least dinner isn’t.  _

“Oh come on, Babe! You like me without my pants on!”

She did, but Riza wasn’t going to tell him that. “So do the mosquitoes!” She then erupted into her own laughter, coming back into view of Roy stepping out of the creek. “At least someone is kissing your ass.”

“Sucking my ass,” Roy clarified. “Sucking. If they were kisses I’d like them too.” Riza started down the trail ahead of him. “But can you kiss my ass better? It kind of hurts.” 

And she was moving in with him now. Her palm hit her forehead with a groan. Her boyfriend was a dork. 

* * *

As promised, dinner was superb. Both of them were almost too full to move. The fire snapped and cracked the sap in the log at their feet. A charred stick crumbled into the embers. Red ash fluttered into the dark sky only to be consumed by darkness themselves. “We didn’t climb any trees,” he whispered into her ear from behind her. His arms tightened around her, holding her flush against his body. His hot breath over her ear, “or skip rocks, or jump in the puddles.” 

“We’re adults now,” Riza whispered as she ran her hair through her blonde bangs, moving from her eyes. “We fall in creeks.” 

An aggravated sigh erupted from him behind her and a forehead fell onto her shoulder. “I’m never going to live that down.” 

“I’ve determined you’re going to drown in a two-inch puddle the way water keeps kicking your ass.” 

“The rocks were slippery,” he argued quietly. 

But the night was perfect. The trip had been perfect. Roy had made everything so perfect. “Thank you,” she whispered, her hands over his. 

A chuckle and a kiss to her ear were all that was his reply. Even when the fire died to the silver shimmering red coals, and the stars glistened above, Riza still felt that the best part was his arms around her and the blanket over her legs. It was mesmerizing, watching the coals’ colors dance, the heat wavering over the charcoaled wood. The paper cup of wine in her hands was nearly empty when her sight drifted upward. Roy behind her took a sip of his paper cup of bourbon and hummed with satisfaction. She didn’t know how the log behind him wasn’t digging into his back, but Roy made no motion that he was uncomfortable. 

In a long streak, leaving behind a white and blue, even pink colored, trail, a star swiped across the sky. “Wow,” she breathed. The moment just felt too perfect. She had to be living a Hollywood romance. Somewhere that was a Sheska reading about this moment in a timeless romance. 

His hand left her waist to move the hair off her neck, placing his lips gently on her neck. “What did you wish for?” He asked with breath on her neck. 

“That this wouldn’t end,” she answered in a whisper. “Can this not end?”

He hummed as his fingers petted her arm, running down it till they met hers under the blanket, weaving them into hers. “I don’t have an answer.” He sounded disappointed. “I wish I had the power to fulfil that.” He shifted with a sigh. “I want to fulfill all your wishes. This moment doesn’t have to end here, I suppose.” 

She continued to relish the kisses on her neck as she closed her eyes and let herself relax against him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sounds like a wonderful time, right? Riza sure is spoiled. AND! They are moving in together! Booyah peoples! That means... more... SMUT. Ha! Come on, let's admit that is what some of you are here for. And if you aren't, it's easy to skip over. Nevertheless, it was a good fluffy chapter of Riza love. Because she does love him. I hope that do that justice. It's easy, for whatever reasons, for me to translate Roy's love for Riza, but we can't forget that she is also so in love with him. They both have been from the start. 
> 
> I appreciate everyone's patience with the long waits for an update. Come to find out that strategic management is a hard class in college. (It's not a chess game but more like an art of war) I've also taken on a few other projects. BUT DON'T WORRY. I haven't forgotten about you or this baby. And this fic is Rando and I's baby. This whole series is. At 32 I'm now learning how to budget my time. XD 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a happy comment and leave a kudos. I'm off to new projects and to finish a few others. In the meantime, I suggest reading Unexpectedly by Waddiwasiwitch. I'm waiting on an update from her too! It's worth a read if you haven't explored her works yet. 
> 
> Stay healthy and safe out there!


	17. Cornered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy is offered a position that would help his succeed if he could only play by the upper officer's rules. But the fear of losing Riza lurks in the back of his mind.

Their bodies crashed together in his bed. Their lips only parting as Roy freed himself of his shirt, her fingers grabbing at his sides. She smelled like him, making him groan knowing that he had claimed her like that. He sat up, pulling away from her for two breaths while he ran his hands under  _ his  _ shirt, exploring  _ her  _ skin. She was candy to his fingers. Her back arched and she breathed his name before he fell back on top of her. Their lips crashed and they moaned into each other’s breath.

She moved in just over a month ago. It was days of ice cream, popcorn, and… the bed. There was nothing stopping the two of them as they rolled in the blankets with snickers and giggles; with fingers tickling the other’s skin. Within the first day alone, he had kissed her entire body three times. Three. A month later and his tongue still needed to taste her again. He’d do whatever he needed to do to fill his desires full of her. She hadn’t said his name enough, his ego was only half full, and he had every intention of saying her name even in his sleep. He needed more, dreamed of more, craving every inch of her body like he was going to die if he didn’t get it. 

“Stop fucking around,” she laughed as she slapped his shoulder. 

Roy thrusted against her, his sweatpant’s bulge hitting her inner thigh. “I’m not fucking around, yet.” 

His hands wrestled with her pants and Riza tangled her fingers in his waistband. In a combined, desperate, act, their bodies were freed from their confinements. This wasn’t the first time they’d been particularly playful, and yet he still found her body mesmerizing. He licked his bottom lip with a groan and a lustful smile. He descended upon her, his nose rubbing affectionately against hers before their lips brushed. 

“I fucking love you,” he muttered into her neck. 

“Roy,” she gasped. 

Being inside her, feeling her roll her hips against his and he pressed deep within her, added a missing piece to his soul. It always had, from the first day they’d admitted themselves intimately to one another. It was hard to not just spend every waking moment, every second he was not at work, with her. His hands lifted her arms above her head, sliding to meet her palms where they interlinked with hers. His abs contracted and a deep grunt of a moan escaped him. Each pant of breath and slight whine drove his instincts to go deeper, harder against her. At that very moment, there was no one else on Earth but the two of them. They were alone, blessed with each other, surrounded by the symptoms of euphoria. Their hands tightened, backs arched, breath was stolen, as they climaxed in unity. 

It wouldn’t be the last time. 

Their loving touches would throb for days. It was a honeymoon period in which each of the residents fell into domestic bliss. His hands rarely left her body as they moved from one end to the next, with Riza usually having to swat Roy away to get a chore or a study done. He blatantly ignored his obligations. He had waited too long for this moment to exist, he wasn’t going to let it go just yet. While they cooked dinner, he rested his head on her shoulder, waiting to get a taste of their meal together. She’d peek her head in the shower and grin at him while he was getting ready for work; though she could have slept in an hour more before taking him to work. 

There were nights that Roy would consider a perfect evening. Content hovered in the room and there was a sense of peace for the evening. Even if it was just the evenings that they mostly saw each other, it was perfect for him. They’d settled for the night after a light dinner. She’d put her music on while he finished dishes, eyeing her as she curled on the couch with the textbook in hand. It was home. When he had set himself up with his own book, he began to realize how perfect they fit together on the couch. The worst was when he woke up, Roy couldn’t stop kissing her as he left the bed. He’d get up, kiss a few times before going for the shower, kissing her lips, listening to her giggle lightly, before getting dressed. He’d kiss her before breakfast and after. He’d kiss her before he walked out the door. On their days off, he kissed her in bed until the winter sun forced them to rise.

They were in love. 

After about a month, they’d settled into place, still eyeballing each other with a young playfulness that begged to be chased. Life had to keep going, and it was easier to reward themselves, and each other, if they did a few chores first before succumbing to the sheets of their bed again. Riza curled onto the couch with a thin blanket covering her from the waist down as her legs eventually settled in Roy’s lap. She highlighted certain sentences in her textbook, chewing on the highlighter every so often. Roy watched from the other side of the couch with his feet on the coffee table. He worked through the latest bought crossword puzzle book. 

Occasionally it was nice just to exist, to bask in the other’s presence. It wasn’t that Roy wasn’t thinking about her fingers in his black hair, or how her neck tasted, but she did need to focus for at least an hour. He could hold off till then. His pencil scratched along the paper as he filled in a row, his eyes peeking from the book to see her still chewing on the marker.  _ Does she remember I’m here? _ He laughed internally. She was pretty work-oriented. He thought he should let her come to him when she was ready to play again and focused on his puzzle. Then her foot tapped to the tune of the music she had playing. Today’s study music was brought to them by  Camille Saint-Saëns . It was beautiful, seemingly telling of a story and it was hard for him not to focus on it. However, when her foot twitches in his lap, it tapped his book. It was easy to overlook the first few times, but then it seemed like she was doing it on purpose. 

He put his puzzle down and raised an eyebrow at her. “Will you stop kicking my book?” 

She looked up, the pink highlighter sticking out of her mouth. Looking annoyed that he’d bother her study routine, she snorted at him. 

With his pencil, he poked the middle of her foot. Amusingly, her foot snapped away from him and she muffled a laugh. Both her feet shot to her body and planted themselves firmly into the couch. 

“Oh,” he grinned. 

“Don’t you dare,” she warned. He waved her pink highlighter at him, which was a meaningless threat to him. A pink highlighter was nothing to him and if he came from this with a few pink swipes, it’d be worth it in the end. 

Roy leaned forward, not breaking eye contact as he set his puzzles on the coffee table. His smile curled to the side, showing his bright teeth. His heart pounded heavily in his ears as he looked upon her in a predatory fashion. 

“No,” she warned lowly again, a giggling smile still plain as day. “Don’t you dare,” her voice quivered. The book she was once used to study was now a shield as she held it close to her chest. 

He snickered back at her as his hand quickly plucked the highlighter from her fingers and threw it to the side. 

“Roy,” she warned once last time. However futile it may have been, she turned to escape his grasp. 

Roy reached out, grabbing her as they both laughed. His fingers attacked her sides as she wiggled from him. Her book fell from her grasp and she wiggled with a high cry of laughter. The couch wasn’t that big and the two of them slid off. Roy couldn’t have imagined them together any better. Nothing in his life could be better. He had everything he ever wanted. As she laid on him, laughing with tears as he held her to him he realized what happiness was. He realized that all he ever needed was her and his life was complete. Nothing else mattered, not his job, his own family, the apartment; nothing. His job could change, he could move far from his family, he could have a smaller apartment, and as long as she was smiling and with him, his life was complete. 

* * *

It was turned completely upside down just as quickly as he could blink. There was no happiness as he sat in Colonel Fairbank’s office, head in his hands, while the Colonel looked over some papers in front of him. Anyone else would have enjoyed, excited to be in that office, but Roy just wanted to be in Riza’s arms. The words his superior spoke should have been of praise, but it was a stressor, gave a stomach ache and a heavy chest. His palms were sweaty with the anticipation of the next sentences. How was he supposed to go home and be happy? How was he supposed to go and kiss Riza while she was sitting on the counter? The promotion was great, accelerating himself as a prodigy in the command center. However, the offer came with contingencies. 

“It will be a long six months,” Colonel Fairbanks said as he dropped the piece of paper on his desk to look over the next. 

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, Sir, but I am not looking to be deployed again.” 

“If they deploy you or not isn’t your decision,” the older man trumped. 

“Can’t I turn down the offer of Lieutenant Colonel?” 

He hummed, dropped the paper on his desk, and sat back in his chair, folding his arms. “It’s not something that is normally done. No one turns down a military promotion.” He nodded stared at Roy with a heavy sigh. “The brass has been impressed with you. Since you started training, morale has increased, and deaths have decreased. It says here that even the efficiency of medics is noticeable.” 

“Sir…” 

Colonel Fairbanks raised a hand to interrupt Roy. “They have Major Kimblee moving into training, while you will be briefed with me and a General before shipping off. This is a great opportunity.” 

“Kimblee,” Roy raged. “That man is a complete nutjob!” 

“He’s proved himself to be capable” 

“Sir, with all due respect to you and the Generals, Kimblee doesn’t care about who lives and who dies.”

“I think you have forgotten who makes all the decisions around here,” his Colonel said firmly. “Friday they are having a conference and I’d like you there. They will go over tactics they expect to see as well as evaluate your experience that you’ve come to develop. You’re representing me, so I expect you to do your best.” 

“Yes, Sir,” Roy responded weakly. 

“How’s your wound?” 

Roy leaned back and crossed his legs. “It’s doing very good.”  _ I should tell him it’s awful and maybe he will push for me to stay here. _

“Friday, sixteen hundred hours. You’ll be staying late.” 

“Yes, Sir.” Roy stood up giving a weak salute. 

Fairbanks nodded and gave a weak and quick salute back. “You’re an incredible soldier, Mustang. I personally am thankful that you came under my command. Good job.” 

It was what anyone would want to hear. However, the idea of only getting the promotion because he was going to command on the lines irked him. It felt like they were bribing him into going and doing what he didn’t want to do. The bonus of being a Lieutenant Colonel was that he didn’t have to see the trenches. He could stay with the Colonels and Generals and work from the tents. At least that was a little better. 

Roy entered his office, noticing the manilla envelope that sat on his desk. All the officers got one. They were looking for volunteers to go south. That meant that command was low on officers. “I wish mine was voluntary,” he muttered, sitting heavily in his chair. 

Roy looked up to see his best friend standing in the door. 

“I have incredible news for you!”

_This I do need.,_ Roy thought sarcastically. He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms across his chest. “Your wife made you an incredible breakfast?”

“Better!”

Roy raised his eyebrow. “You made breakfast together?”

“We  _ have  _ decided to make something together!” Maes jumped up and down like a child getting a candy bar. “We’re going to make a baby!” It was more amusing to Roy to see a grown ass man in a military uniform, beard and all, so excited as he was. 

“Oh dear God,” Roy breathed. “You are repopulating.” 

“Damn right!” Maes grinned, sliding the glasses against his face. “We are going to have the most beautiful babies on the planet!” 

“Congrats,” Roy snickered. “You’re naming him after me right?”

Maes’ face turned serious. “It’s going to be a girl.” 

“You want a girl?”

“I guess we call her Roy-etta,” Maes grinned. 

“No,” he instantly waved his hands. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

His best friend squeezed his arms into his chest. “Or a boy, I don’t care.” 

He facepalmed, running his hand up and through his hair. 

“It doesn’t matter! It’s going to be the most beautiful baby to ever be born!” 

“Do you have any evidence to support your claim,” he challenged. 

“It’s coming out of my Gracia,” Maes smirked back at him. “No more evidence needed.” 

“I suppose.” 

Maes sat on the desk, staring at his phone. “This is the best day of my life,” he whispered. 

Roy could only grump. He slid back into his chair, it whining as he leaned back in it and rubbed his face. The reminding words of the recruiter poked the recesses of his memory.  _ “They could always send you back.” _ This would figure. He was finally happy. He was in a place to be happy. Riza had moved in with him. His fingers tapped randomly on the arm of his chair as he looked back at the gloves in the shadowbox. 

“You look too worried, my friend.”

“It’s just more stress than I need right now,” he replied to Maes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Is Riza pregnant before my Gracia?”

Roy looked up with a hard glare to a Maes whose mouth was ajar in shock. “No, Maes,” he grumbled.  _ She shouldn’t be…  _

“What’s going on? Trouble in paradise?” Maes chuckled. “They have pills for that kind of thing, you know.” 

Roy picked up a pen and threw it at his best friend. “No, asshole. They're giving me a promotion.” 

“Normally one isn’t upset over a promotion.” Maes sat down in a spare chair. 

“They are shipping me to Creta.” 

“Are you serious,” Maes leaned forward with big eyes. “I thought you were immune and Colonel Fairbanks was looking out for you!”

“Apparently I’m who they want down there. Something about training in the field or some shit like that. On top of that, they are moving Major Kimblee to the training spot.” 

Maes groaned as he leaned back in his chair. 

“He’s been nothing but trouble. He’s been a pain in my ass. He thinks he knows everything about explosives but he’s had several injuries of recruits and on top of that, he has the habit of disobeying orders.” 

“I know what you mean. About two months ago, we were dealing with a bomber and Kimblee said to let the guy blow himself up. The problem was the civilians. He didn’t seem to care.” 

“What?” Roy was flabbergasted. 

“Or he didn’t seem worried. But he was there with the bomb squad as a consultant. We’d never seen a bomb like that. He didn’t even really care. I think he would have taken it and blown it up at his training area if it wasn’t being overlooked with a trigger attached to the killer.” 

Roy rubbed his face. 

“There’s nothing you can do to get out of it?”

He shook his head, leaning his chair back. He put his hands together, one folded under the other while kneading the top of his knuckles. “No. Friday I have a meeting at sixteen hundred with a General and some Colonels to discuss my own plan of attack.” 

“But they haven’t liked anything you have proposed.” 

“Apparently they have,” he argued with his friend. “They’ve asked me several times to join them. Each time they don’t seem to like me, but I keep getting ordered to join.” 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Maes mumbled as he rubbed his chin. “You’re a major. You’re not anything special. In fact, the amount of troops that you have under you isn’t influential.” 

“That’s what I thought.” 

“And you’re doing well here…” There was a short pause as Maes looked towards the ground. “It sounds like a conspiracy.” 

Roy rolled his eyes. “Dear God.” 

“Look, admit it or not, this is a bit weird, right?” 

Roy sighed through his nose loudly. 

“You’re a very young Major, only promoted because you have a heroic story and a couple of metals. Now they want to make you the youngest Lieutenant Colonel in the country? All you need to do is agree to go back to the lines?”

“I’d be an adjutant to Colonel Lewiston.” 

“I still think something is fishy here.” Maes rocked his chair’s recline back. “If they wanted to get rid of you, why would they give you a promotion? They could just send you to the front as a Major.” 

Roy nodded. 

“What about Riza?”

Roy didn’t have an answer planned. He sat contemplating what he was supposed to even tell her. He knew this was one of her greatest fears. He was confident this wouldn’t happen. It wasn’t like he was going to get hurt, but she’d think that. “I have to get out of it,” he whispered. 

“What happened to ‘For country and men?’” Maes crossed his legs and his arms. “You were so gung ho about dedication and loyalty crap.” 

He shrugged to his friend. “It doesn’t change how I feel about the military. It’s how I feel about my girlfriend.” 

“Just tell her.” Maes leaned forward onto his knees. “If you two are meant for each other, she will be supportive and you two will handle it together.” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think we will survive if I tell her.” 

A great debate lingered in his brain while he worked. He may get away with not telling her at all until everything was confirmed and he had his orders in writing. However, telling her was keeping him honest and not replicating an incident while they were up North. His work lagged as he spaced out in thought. What bothered him, to the same extent, was hearing that Major Kimblee was moving into his position. Roy took pride in his work, took pride in training and coordinating events. Kimblee didn’t. He didn’t really put “effort” into anything except being able to blow stuff up. That was explosive specialists do. They do not save lives in the least . 

“Come on,” Maes said loudly as he stood up. “Let’s go get lunch.” 

Roy wasn’t hungry, but he understood what Maes was trying to do. They sat down in the mess hall, by themselves. Maes dipped his roll into his potato soup and chewed happily. The man never had a dull moment. He was always optimistic about life. Roy had to remind himself that it wasn’t always this way and he should be happy for his best friend. However, the happiness didn’t rub off on him as it should have. Instead, it made Roy even more irritated. Maes was protected under the investigations department. The only way he’d be requited was if Creta was on their doorstep in Central. 

“I wish I could help you,” Maes mumbled with a chunk of roll in his mouth. He chewed it as he looked around. He swallowed his big bite and leaned over the table. “If you’re so against the war, it might be possible for you to end it while you’re there.” 

Roy frowned, looking around next. “It won’t work. The generals are sending men into slaughter at this point. We are so desperate to hold out our own borders from the invading Creta.”

“Would you rather us give in and let them invade?”

Roy picked up his roll, tearing a small piece off and putting it in his mouth. His stomach was too upset to really eat anything anyway. “No,” he said softly with a shake of his head. “But I think we are lacking the understanding and use of our resources. We have a small airforce that is spending its time flying to search for breaks in the line and looking for enemy encampments. We should be bombing them. They could go in far enough that we could bomb behind the lines.” 

Maes put down his roll and wiped his mouth with the napkin. “You think that we should invest in that?” 

“We have tanks that we have had in reserve, hanging back along the line. We should push them forward at the center.” Roy used his hands to indicate the movements. “They are running thin too. They invaded up for resources, then eventually they will dry up and have to retreat. But our country will push into Creta just because.” 

“So, move the tanks inward. You’ve said that before.” Maes tapped his spoon on his tray. “You think that they’d really draw troops to the center and we’d be able to flank them?” 

Roy exhaled loudly through his nose. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen the charts.” 

Maes sighed and shook his head. 

“It’s worth a try.” 

“So what if what little armor we have left, and airforce we have left, you want to push it all forward.” 

“Pull back manpower to the sides,” Roy nodded. “Give the troops a few days rest.” 

Maes stopped tapping as he looked behind him. “Are you going to talk to them about this?”

Roy took another small bite of his roll. “They want me to join them for a meeting Friday. I’ll be here late. I think I will speak up about it and see how it goes.” 

“If they like it, they will send you.” 

Roy nodded slowly, looking at his soup. “That’s the difference I can make. But Riza won’t like it.” 

“Riza’s not going to like it at all?” 

He shook his head. 

“You told me that she’s afraid of this specific thing.” 

“I know,” he huffed. “I know….” 

“You can’t hide it from her.” 

Roy put his spoon down. “I don’t have official orders yet. I don’t even know if they are going to follow through or not. I just know that sending me is their plan.” 

“Is it contingent on Friday?”

“I think so.” 

Maes chuckled loudly before taking a bite of his salad. “You could always fuck up intentionally,” he said with his mouth full. He pointed his fork towards Roy. “You could tell them that you think it’d be better to bring in horse-drawn buggies.” He laughed at his own idea. “What were you always joking about? Women in miniskirts?” He burst into another fit of loud laughter. 

“Don’t tell Riza that one. She’ll kill me.” Roy slid his tray away from him and looked over the soldiers all having a good time on their break. “I can’t save their lives. The only way I can is to train them to be better.” 

Maes frowned, taking another bite of his salad. “You knew this could happen when you joined. You’re just going to have to do what you can with what you have. You’re a good soldier and a talented officer.” 

Even as he went to his meetings and did his paperwork, his mind was elsewhere. He went to the supply room to pull gear and put it in containers for tomorrow, he stared off at his clipboard wondering if she was going to be mad at him.

“Sir, we don’t have four fifty-foot rope, but we do have two seventy footers.” 

Roy stared at the clipboard. He hadn’t even written down the number of carabiners they had said earlier. His mind daydreamed back to her in tears when he hid his scar from her. He felt the pain in his chest knowing that she was going to be heartbroken. All he ever wanted to do was make her happy. 

“Major.” 

He saw the tears slipping down her cheeks, how her eyes grew red and she lightly coughed in her sobs. He could see her fists tightly clenched by her sides, shaking with frustration and anger. Her voice would shake, her shoulders tremble, as she would confront him. But his voice was empty compared to hers. 

“Major?”

This image of her back, walking out the door haunted his dreams. He knew it every single time their lips met, or the way their bodies fit together. Her scar under his finger as he traced the abuse of her father and swore he’d never hurt her when what he had done was just that. 

“Major!” 

Roy looked up to see two of his Seargents were looking irritated. 

“Only have two fifty-foot ropes here, Sir,” the girl announced. “We don’t have four. We do have two seventy-five foot ropes, though.” 

He nodded and pointed to the tote. “That will work.” He scratched his initials by a note and flipped the page as he looked in the bag. “We need to make sure the side-by-sides are washed and fueled too.” His voice was weak, clearly less enthused than it normally was. He should be paying more attention. Though these exercises were fun, they were also dangerous. He rubbed his forehead, the pen between his fingers. It was important that he was paying 100% attention to the supply checklist, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. He checked the watch on his wrist and then back at the board. “There should be a couple bags of light sticks and next to that there are some batteries.” 

His mind quickly surrendered back to her. This time she was in bed, naked, sleeping as he watched her. Her form was curled up to her edge of the bed, kept to herself and from him. Roy could not feel more useless to help her. He was supposed to be there to comfort her. How was he supposed to comfort her when the hurt was from himself? Shoulders fell and breath was lost as he heard her cry. 

“Major?”

“Hm?”   


“Are we going to go?”

Roy nodded, raising his hand and nodding as he followed. “Yeah,” he agreed with a loud swallow. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he unlocked his office. He casually looked at it, expecting to see some officer bugging him about some crappy event with the cadets. As much as he liked training, the cadets were a minor headache. He worked more with the Sergeants that overlooked the cadets. They’d ask for supplies, or permission to use fields. It was boring work. But as he looked at the screen, a comforting smile grew on his face. “Hey, Riza. How’s your day?”

“It was really kind of awesome. I did about four hours of an internship with Seamount Central Middle school. I guess I’m going to start doing that more.” 

“Are you interning in the music department?” He unlocked his door, shutting it behind him. 

“I am. It’s been really fun. The teacher there says she plays piano but didn’t play in class. She thought I’d be fine if I just know the notes.” 

“You really could play an instrument. You read how to write and the tunes and pitches of that...stuff…” 

He heard her laugh on the other end. “Well, I think I’m going to take a class next semester. Just something easy like piano or violin.” 

“Piano would be easy for you.” He sat down in his chair, leaning it back. It was good to hear her voice, break away from his stress. He closed his eyes, not to nap, but to try to envision her smile. “You listen to enough of it.” 

“I will put that in tonight. I think it might be good just to have a little experience.” 

“I know how your father was. He wouldn’t have liked you playing an instrument or a piano.” He smiled as she chuckled. 

“He was a tight ass for sure. How has your day been?” 

_ I could tell her now. Get it out of the way. However, I lack the ability to console her. It’s not okay to argue over the phone.  _ “It’s been rough.”  _ I’m not lying.  _ “There’s a lot going on, quite a bit of changes that we are preparing for.” 

“Oh,” she inquired. “Changes huh? Changes with you or your department?”

“I’m included,” he answered slowly. 

“Big changes?” 

“Maybe. We will see.” He opened his eyes and looked up towards his gloves again. His dedication to his country…. 

“You’re being kind of vague there, Love. Is this some confidential, ‘for your eyes only’ thing?”

He chuckled. “Not quite. I can tell you when I get home and I have more time.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “You’re probably busy. I just wanted to say hi. I’ve been missing you today.” 

“I miss you too, Riza.”

The day blurred around him and the only clear part of his day was the blonde, brown-eyed, woman that cleared his mind of madness. The back of her hand draping down his cheek, his arms wrapped around her waist, and their lips only a breath apart. He could smell her, taste the salt on her skin as he kissed her from her collar bone, to his hip bone. He wanted to feel her wiggle under his fingers, hear her laugh ring through his ears. But he was where he needed to be. He needed to be in that office; the same office that held him from her. He was there to save lives. His sense of duty to her, kept him from her. It was becoming an internal conflict which resulted in dramatic consequences. 

He didn’t want to lose her. Some part of him recognized that this would have come up at some point. Eventually, he’d have to pick between his loyalty to the state and the love of his life. He just didn’t think it’d be so soon. A small sliver of hope remained with Riza accepting it with grace and telling him that she supported him, even if he himself didn’t like it. Could they pick someone else to take his spot at command? Could he challenge it?

“Kimblee of all fucking guys,” he muttered under his breath at his desk. 

He hadn’t known Kimblee for very long. He didn’t have to deal with him as often as others had. As far as he knew, most departments avoided him and he spent quite a bit of time in the explosives bunker. The only reason why he’d worked with him before was the fact Roy worked with explosives on some level and had to get some approved and signed out by the guy. After all, Roy couldn’t deny he liked things that went boom too. Kimblee took it a bit farther. 

The man was tall, a little taller than Roy, with long back hair that was pulled back. He didn’t wear his uniform regularly but he didn’t spend too much time in the command center itself. When there were questions or issues related to anything from ammo to detonation, Kimblee was the guy. If Roy was honest, Kimblee was the best man for the job. There was no doubt about it. But he was careless in many aspects. He was lenient when it came to safety. There was a certain standard the military required, but he expected the students to protect themselves. He’d said once at a meeting, “I don’t train idiots. I’m only thinning the herd.” It was not a popular opinion, however, He’d only had one death in his classes so no one took him seriously. 

Roy took him seriously. He wore this stupid grin that made Roy want to punch him and talked so cooly about everything as if it but dust on his shirt. His students, the medics, were not dust on a man’s shirt. They were an integral part of the system that saved lives. If they were treated less, Roy would take care of them. He might be a hard ass in some places, but even the superiors had seen his work was helping. 

When it came down to it, Roy knew he needed to accept his role in the country’s foundation. He joined to make it better and ended up going into the enemy’s territory and getting shot. It wasn’t until then that he started being more effective in the military to make a difference. Maybe it wasn’t going to be as bad. If he was good at maneuvers, he’d be better at making this offensive less defensive. He could also find out why they were hesitant on bringing the tanks forward. He didn’t consider all of his superiors idiots, only the ones making the calls. 

The feeling when he was given his orders would never leave Roy. He also would never forget the sickening feeling watching Jean hit the ground. He was behind the lines, where the government refused to acknowledge them. Truthfully, he understood why. If they were ever captured, the military wasn’t going to admit they were spies. It also meant that they were not responsible for recovery or rescue. It wasn’t like people didn’t make it back. A good part of the teams made it back. But you knew the risk. 

He didn’t want that feeling for anyone. He wanted to make sure that they could get people out. One person meant one gun on the battlefield. One gun can make a difference. Yet it seemed that the Generals were risking the one gun, and it terrified Roy. 

_ There was a reason why I joined. There was a reason why I so willingly did what I did. There was a reason why I fought.  _ The halls quieted. He looked mindlessly through his door at the wall across the hall. He was a fighter. He wanted to make a difference and fight to protect. He wanted to make sure Creta stayed at the borders, and Riza was forever safe. This was no different. At the lines or in an office, he was doing right by his country. Roy sighed. It wasn’t the idea of dying.  _ It’s the fear of losing her. It’s the fear of her feeling abandoned. Again.  _

There was a balance considering many of the officers and even privates were married. Was it that they both couldn’t balance their lives to make it work? Was it her? Or was it him and his inability to change like that for her? They both deserved to be happy, so why couldn’t they? He sat down in his office chair and looked down at his watch. He’d have to go home in thirty minutes. Then what was he supposed to do? He said sorry, he had nothing left to even offer her.  _ A hug,  _ he decided.  _ I could really use a hug.  _ He nodded slowly as he started to organize the papers on his desk. He patted them together, tapping them on the table to form a nice straight pile.

His jacket was hung with care and diligence. He brushed it off, adjusting it to avoid wrinkles. He put the pens where they belonged and filed the papers accordingly. The next question was how he was going to talk to Riza about it. How was he going to tell her that he was just as conflicted when before he was so confident?  _ I guess it’s how she reacts that will be the key point. If she freaks out, I won’t want to go. If she’s okay with it, which I know she won’t be, then I will go into the office on Friday and do my best.  _

* * *

All the way up the stairs, Roy continued to debate. If he wasn’t going to tell her, he was going to have to look happy. If he did tell her, he was going to have to be supportive. He was going to have to be prepared for a fight and/or tears. After the long and strenuous day, he didn’t think that was going to be possible either. He could hear her jamming out inside the door. His stomach turned and he could taste the acid from his stomach. The whole situation was wrong. It was wrong against him, against her, and unfair to all the incoming cadets.  _ Who am I? I’m just a Major. I don’t have any way in any of this. I need to just accept my role and do what I’m told. I need to stay out of trouble.  _ He opened the door to see Riza eating a fry. 

“Hey,” she muttered, chewing on the hot fry. “I made hot sandwiches,” she grinned. 

“That sounds amazing,” he grinned, setting his bag down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter than normal. I know. I think we all need it today though. :D
> 
> Good news... the last of my HARDEST CLASS EVER (beside's a tech class that left me wondering if learning Greek would be easier) will be over on Monday. I should have posted this then as a celebration. But I'm having a bad day and decided to make my day a bit happy by doing something I like to do! 5 More weeks everyone! Then I have so much time! Also, who's ready for Royai week!? WOOO I need more hours in a day. Maybe like 2... 2 more hours. But let's be honest. We'd all just sleep 2 more hours huh. Haha. 
> 
> I'm off to relish in the land of powerpoint and... competitive advantages and evidence of strategic management. Yippe. -.- I hope everyone has a great weekend.


	18. What will be, will be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy comes home from the office to break the news to Riza about what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to first and foremost apologize for the tardiness of this chapter. It's been a while. I'd blame Royai week... but it's more like a holy week. We can't blame it but embrace it. So, here you go!

The day was beautiful on top of it all. She took a moment to sit in the courtyard of the college and enjoy a coffee while she studied before going to her internship. The warm sun on her face was so pleasant compared to the winter chill that was blowing in from the north. She opened her eyes as she got up and packed her bag. Riza had a day to live, she couldn’t sit there all day, no matter how much she wanted to. As she walked up towards the lecture halls, she suddenly remembered it was a year ago that she found out that he’d been shot. They’d come a long way, Riza even moving in with him. They were growing quite strong as a couple. No doubt they had some turbulence and trials, but Riza had felt close and trusting of him. It felt as if the years in between them never happened. She’d seen so many sides of him just in the short time they’d been together that Riza was sure that she’d been with him for longer than just over a year

_ We are meant for each other,  _ Riza thought warmly.  _ It feels natural. _

She knew there’d be harder times still, there were no perfect relationships, but the way she felt with him at home was a peaceful settlement over her heart. It felt like what she imagined a relationship was like. He’d flick pretzels at her while she was studying, or when they were going to bed, he’d pull her into his chest with his chin on her head. She felt her face grow red as she remembered his strong his shoulders were and how firm his chest felt. His kisses were soft to demanding, but always loving. The way he pressed her against the wall, demanding attention from her, it drove her wild. There were times that she couldn’t get her clothes off fast enough. 

More importantly, were moments of silence between them. For Riza, she felt those were moments that held the most emotion. It was seeing his mischievous smile or feeling his lips on her shoulder. It was when she ran her hands through his hair while they were sitting on the couch and his head was in her lap. She enjoyed it when there was music in the background and he’d be at his table doing homework, his head bobbing to the tune. She’d go up to him, run her hand up his back and to his scalp. They’d kiss. There was no need for words between them to prove love to one another. It was so natural.  It's always. It’d always been natural. Even when they were kids, they didn’t need to talk to enjoy one another. They just needed each other. 

With all the passion they had, she’d felt more romantic than anyone else towards him. After her internship, she went to the store and decided to make open-faced sandwiches with fries. That’d make his night. As of late, his days had been stressful. It’d be nice to do something like this for him. It was also something easy to make before they’d fall into their normal study habits. Tonight she was hoping for a break in their studying and maybe some couple’s time. She grinned as she walked into the grocery store. He’d come home and they’d  embrace to what would feel like her hugging her best friend, before kissing as if they hadn’t kissed all month _.  _

Even if things were going rough for her, Roy would take care of her. If he was having a hard time, she would take care of him. But Roy was always thinking of her in perspective of the future. When things were rough, he was there to remind her it was just a thing of the present. It was nice considering that she’d get worked up so easily. At least as of late she had been rather stressed. She was so close to being done with her degree, and the idea of what the future held was filled with the anxiety of the unknown. Most days she felt safest in his arms where things were sure and safe. However, he once again only shrugged and told her that no matter where she was, he’d be there for her.  _ Military jobs are too stable,  _ she determined. 

There was one memory that rang in her mind. She was leaning against the breakfast counter, drinking her coffee as she looked through her book. He came in, shirtless and in his boxers, and poured himself some coffee. She remembered how he leaned against the counter and watched her before asking, “Have you thought about what you want a year from now?” The question was casual, as if he was just looking for something to talk about and had dismissed the actual weight the topic brought.

Riza laughed. “Well, I’d like to have graduated.” 

He laughed, letting his head fall back at her sarcasm. 

She shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “In all seriousness, I suppose I want to still be with you.” 

“Suppose?” He gasped. 

“I mean…” 

“Suppose!” He dramatically moaned, holding his chest as if she’d hurt his heart. 

“I mean that I want to graduate and have a teaching job. If you’re there, that’s great.” 

He frowned as he took a drink from his mug. 

“What about you? Do you have big plans for your future?” 

“First,” he held up a finger. “It’s  _ our  _ future because I see you in it. It’s just...I’ve been talking with Maes about this and it’s been interesting to imagine where we want to be.” 

“That’s all you’re imagining? That you’re with me?”

“That’s all that truly matters.” He gave her a sideways smile. “I’m hoping that you will marry me, and we’ll have kids, some traditional Amestrian household with two kids, a backyard and a dog.” 

“That doesn’t seem like you.” He raised her eyebrow. “You want all that in a year?”

He shrugged. “ A year, or five, all I want is you.” 

The memory made her body hot. That’s all he had ever wanted. He was so in love with her, so devoted, that Riza was genuinely unsure how to analyze it. She never even felt that kind of love from her own family. He’d always been kind and affectionate as a teen, and his aunt was welcoming and protective, but the way he said, “All I want is you” was overwhelming. As long as she was with him, he was going to be okay. Deep inside, she wondered if in a year they were going to be together.  _ All I need is him.  _ That was the truth. She did need him. She needed to kiss him, to feel the safety of his hug, and to hear his heartbeat while he slept. Riza ached to see his confident grin or hear his snicker before he pounced on her. She couldn’t live without him. Why she waited for this, and why she fought against this, was a mystery to her. She had deprived herself of happiness on a universal scale. 

She knew he’d been stressed out with a new training session happening at the end of the week. From what he told her, they were repelling over a cliffed area to do evacuations and extractions. He had expressed that he was worried there were going to be complications and someone was going to get hurt. That was just like him. His care and attention to detail were what made him a great soldier and great officer. She was able to see his passion for it, and see that he was great at what he did. There weren’t very many people who were happy with their jobs, and Roy was. They really had everything going for them. 

The apartment was quiet before he arrived. Riza didn’t mind. She could put on some music, lean back, and relax. She allowed herself to relax and be comfortable in the space. She was worried in the beginning that she’d feel like an intruder, but now she felt part of it, as if it was meant for her as well. She put on some Motzart and started making dinner. Even though he was gone, she could still imagine him behind her, holding her around the waist as she fed him pieces of salami over her shoulder. He’d kiss the side of her neck, tickling her. Instead, it was quiet, something of a calming sense took over her. There was no roommate to distract her, or loud music down the hall. Riza felt relaxed and at home. 

There was also the thought of what they’d do after dinner. She should have gotten some wine. There was beer in the fridge. Riza never thought of herself as a housewife. She was too adventurous and ambitious. But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to be nice to him every so often. They both had been working hard after all. She put the fries on a baking sheet and put them in the oven. After dinner, they could sit down, maybe play some racing video games, and….

That’s when her thoughts grew hotter. Her straddling him oh the couch, her fingers in his hair as she would grind against him. His moans would spur her on and his fingers would dig into her ass. She’d feel him through her pants as she’d roll against it. Having sex with him was the best thing she’d done in her life. Why she waited so long was a mystery to her. She was addicted to him on even this level. She wanted him between her legs, with her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, while she gasped in the pleasure that he brought her. Riza leaned against the counter as she looked at the couch. Her mind rushed through the positions that they could do just on the couch alone. Her hormones were driving her crazy. 

Riza opened a beer for herself as she finished preparing the sandwiches. Deciding to put school away would give her time away from stress. She wasn’t going to bog her mind down with any papers or reading. Tonight she was determined to just relax, She was not going to think about anything but her and Roy. It was going to be the night they both needed. When she talked on the phone with him earlier he sounded stressed enough, maybe he needed a little quiet time, pampering time, with her. She put the sandwiches in the oven, pulling the fries out. Her head swayed side to side with the song as she carefully seasoned the fries. 

She heard his steps outside the door and couldn’t help but smile. She wrapped a stray lock of her hair behind her ear as she ate a fry. Her heart pounded in her chest in anticipation. She could just run to the door and wrap her arms around him, but instead, she leaned against the counter and grinned at him walking through the door. 

He had his white shirt on, his uniform pants and pants cape. He turned, half-smiling at her. She could see the stress lines on his forehead and the tired in his eyes. It had been a rough day for him. Maybe it was a good thing that she had already started dinner. “Hey,” she greeted with a fry in her mouth. His shoulders slumped, and his body lagged as he smiled weakly up at her. “I made hot sandwiches.” 

“That sounds amazing,” he smiled as he set his bags down. 

“Stressful day?” 

He nodded with a heavy sigh. 

“Sounded like it when we talked.” Riza turned to pull the sandwiches from the oven. The cheese melted over the array of meats. “You look tired. And it’s just Tuesday. What are they doing to you?” It was more of a joke. He’d looked tired lately as it was. Weekends were days of relief and revival for him. 

“Oh, things are getting complicated.” He came up to her, giving her a kiss on her lips. It was short but she could feel how meaningful it meant to him. He turned, getting a beer from the fridge and opening it. “Those smell good,” he complimented softy, nodding to the sandwiches. 

She grinned at his compliment, going back to fold them together and cut them in half. “Get me a plate,” she instructed. He was quick about it because a second later a plate appeared on the counter. A handful of fried and a sandwich later, they stood on the opposite side of the breakfast counter, chewing happily. He looked beat, as if he could go to bed that second. “Want to talk about your day?” 

He shrugged, not looking the least bit enthusiastic, drinking his bite down with his beer. “Long.” 

Riza could see his apprehension. He wasn’t making that much eye contact with her, looking more at his beer. “Confidential huh?”

“No,” he muttered. 

The subject was dropped as she took a big bite of her sandwich. She couldn’t deny that she felt like he was hiding something from her. Riza wasn’t sure if she wanted to pressure him about it, however, she felt a ping of hurt that it was something he felt he couldn’t tell her what was on his mind. She chewed mindfully. Whatever was bothering him was deep. This was more than just a scar on his side. It could be more than just a normal tiring day. She was sure something happened. 

“How’s Maes,” she asked as she took another bite of her sandwich. 

“He’s good. Actually, he and Gracia are trying for a baby.” 

“Oh!” She grinned with the news. “That’s wonderful. They will be great parents!” 

“I had to listen to him tell me how perfect their child was going to be.” He chuckled with a dramatic eye roll. 

“He’s such a wonderful friend.” Riza meant that. Maes was what Maria was to her. Someone there always, and you were there for them. There was no doubt that Roy would go through any length to help his friend if Maes called tomorrow in need of something. 

“Who believes that his unborn child already supersedes the rest of the planet because it hails from Gracia.” 

Riza tried not to choke in laughter. 

“I had to listen to this.” He sighed loudly through his nose. She watched as a thin smile appeared and a certain fondness shined. “I don’t doubt that if Gracia and Maes have a child, it will be beautiful.” 

Roy took the last bite of his sandwich and nodded. “They are looking to promote me.” His face fell as if it was something awful, still looking from her and at his beer. 

_ That shouldn’t bother him.  _ “That’s good!” 

“It would be,” he agreed before taking another drink of his beer. “But they want me to go to the battlefield and help another Colonel with troop positioning and tactical operations.” 

Riza was out of words.  _ Wait, what? _ She somehow knew this was going to happen. Of course, it was going to happen. Because they were so happy. 

“There’s really nothing I can do about it,” he said quickly before she could answer. 

“What…” She didn’t know what to say. 

“It’s not official,” he lifted his hand and looked seriously at her. “But Colonel Fairbanks is pretty sure about it.” 

“Why,” she asked quickly, her heart beating rapidly. Her sandwich and fries were forgotten. 

“I don’t know.” Roy took a drink of his beer as he looked up at her. “I’m having a meeting on Friday with a General about it.” 

“Roy,” she begged quietly. 

He stretched out his hand to grasp hers. Riza wanted to pull it away from him, seclude herself from everything. But she couldn’t move. Instead, her hands shook and her stomach tightened. Bile threatened in her mouth. His warm hand brought no comfort as it should have as it laid over hers. “It’s going to be okay.” His words felt empty. 

“You’re just saying that,” she closed her eyes tightly, fighting back the emotions that threaten to overtake her. 

She heard him sighed loudly. 

“Why is this happening?” Her throat tightened and tears built quickly behind her eyelids. Her hands fisted as she thought of how happy they were only to be interrupted by the military. Somehow, she knew this was going to happen. She knew that it was only an amount of time till he had to leave her again. Anger swelled in her chest.

She opened her eyes slowly to feel him looking down at the counter. It wasn’t easy on him either. His shoulders tightened as his jaw was set and tight. His brow was forward, frowning determinedly. His eyes burned a hole into the counter as he looked deep in thought. Thoughts. Deep questions of why and his reasonings for answers. Usually, he’d be found pinching the bridge of his nose, rubbing his forehead, or sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed when deep thoughts and the search for answers plagued him. When Roy was bothered, he didn’t hunch over the counter, shoulders shaking with his breath. It scared her. 

If he didn’t have answers, all was unsure. It made even him uneasy. Confidence in himself was based on understanding the situation at hand. Now he was unknowing even in himself. She could see his inner turmoil, the concept that he had little control over the situation. He must have been terrified. Riza stood up and took a deep breath. He had to say it was going to be okay not only for her, but for himself. 

Rage fueled in her chest. As frustrated as she was, Riza needed to remember Roy wasn’t who was making this happen. It was the military. “Is this punishment?” It was a valid question. If they didn’t like him, they could be looking for a way to get rid of him. 

“I don't think so,” he answered quietly. He looked up at her with scared eyes. When was Roy ever scared? “They’ve been asking me my opinion of certain strategic maneuvers. But every time I offer my own idea, they reject them.” He shook his head looking back at the counter. “Colonel said that they have been impressed with my forwardness and willingness to be involved.” 

“But you haven’t been,” she argued quickly, almost cutting him off. “You’ve complained before how much it’s a pain in the ass and a waste of time to be required to be there.” 

Roy nodded, biting his lip. 

Her voice rose with her anxiety. “I thought Colonel Fairbanks was looking out for you! How could he do this?”

“He  _ is  _ looking out for me,” Roy argued. 

“How can you tell?” Riza huffed and rubbed her forehead. 

“It doesn’t matter one way or another,” he mumbled. “The orders come from above him.” 

A part of her wanted to march right into his Colonel’s office and demand him to reverse this action. But she knew that’s not how it worked. Colonel Fairbanks had reassured him of his station here in Central. The military had all but lied to him. It felt too much like a setup. Her chest tightened again as she thought about such a betrayal to Roy. As far as she knew, and knew of Roy’s character, he’d done nothing but work hard to achieve greatness. They’d taken that and decided to turn it against him. 

“It’s supposed to be a good thing.” He whispered to his beer, trying to convince even himself. 

_ This is a reward? _ “How could putting you in harm’s way be a reward?”

He stood up straight. “Because with the promotion, they are sending me down to get more experience, and to work closely with senior officers.” He walked around the end of the counter. “I’m not going to be on the line. Or... at least that is not what they have said.” 

“They also said you wouldn’t be going back.” She frowned. 

“No,” he corrected, letting the word lengthen in his answer. “They said it is highly unlikely.” 

“Bull.” Her voice increased in tone. How dare he defend them! 

“I mean, I’ll be the youngest Lieutenant Colonel in history. They want me there.” 

“What about me?” Her voice shook, and tears threatened to return. She was scared. 

He reached out to her. “We can talk about that,” he answered gently. “I haven’t forgotten about you.”

“They can’t consider that you have a family?”

Roy sighed loudly, releasing the truth in soft words to follow. “My duty is to them first, family second.” 

She hated it. She hated that he’d make excuses for them, would defend them, when they were only scheming to betray him. He’d already been shot, sacrificed for them, fought for them, and now he defended them! How was this anywhere fair to her? How was it fair to him? 

“That doesn’t mean you don’t matter,” he added. 

_ That is why he doesn’t jump at this opportunity, or why he isn’t excited about a promotion that would seal him into military history as a protege. It’s because you’re involved.  _ The thought seemed to calm her for the first time. She was in the equation.

“I’ve been thinking about you this whole time.”

She was an important part of his wants. It was somehow a relief to her, knowing that he was thinking about her even as a great opportunity was given to him. 

His hand rubbed her shoulders. She could feel he needed her touch more than she needed his. The touch was light and apprehensive. It felt as if he was scared to touch her. “Look, I’m not going to abandon you.” He assured quietly. “We can put a plan together where we both feel okay and comfortable about it.” 

She nodded slowly, hearing the tender care of his voice. 

His lips came to the top of her head. “I’m going to make sure you’re okay.” 

It was real. It wasn’t a bad dream or a joke. All of what he said was real. 

“How long will you be there,” she asked, tears starting to form. 

“They said a half of a year to start.” He kissed her forehead again. “I only have about a year and a half left in the military.” 

“They can’t just force you to stay, can they?” 

He sighed through his teeth. “Technically, they can. If I’m deployed, they can. But even normal soldiers are not there for more than nine months. They aren’t going to keep me there forever. For all I know, they could send me back after three months.” She saw him try to smile. He was putting on his best face for her. But his eyes told her differently. He was scared. 

She nodded, deciding not to argue that point. There was no use in her freaking out over something that he was scared of too. It’d only lead to both of them being more frustrated. Instead, she stepped forward into a hug. That didn’t mean that she didn’t want to scream and cry. Riza was on the verge of falling to the ground, curling into a ball and crying that he was being taken from her again. Her lungs hurt, the pain being held down so that she could look strong for him. “Where do we go from here?”

He huffed a laugh. “I’m not sure. I guess we will know on Friday.” 

She nodded, wrapping her own arms around him. If he was as scared as she suspected, he needed the hug just as much as she did. He was invincible to her, but the truth was he wasn’t. He was vulnerable and had the ability to be scared. Even in their embrace, the way he pulled her tightly to him, she felt as he was grasping the one thing he was sure of. Her. Neither one of them wanted to end that hug, that hold on reality and certainty. She could feel how weak his heartbeat was, how shallow breaths on her head. She felt how tight his shoulders were, how rigid he was. Riza wasn’t sure if she was scared of her own insecurities or being scared for him and his own uncertainty. If it was out of his control, it was even more out of her’s. She could do nothing to help herself, let alone him. 

The pain was so similar, recognizable, to scenes before in her life. Two specific moments stood out which left her to not only care for herself. His chest grew wet and her fingers grabbed onto his shirt, holding herself as close as she could to him. When her father died, there was not one thing she could do for anyone. She had to bear the load, go on and fix things for herself. She couldn’t stop it from happening. She couldn’t stop him from dying. She watched in slow motion as the duty of her home and his obligations were handed to her. It was a pivotal moment in becoming an adult. She didn’t even have the option. No one asked her. But the other time was when Roy left. There was not one thing she could do to stop him. Watching his back fade from her view felt like she was watching a piece of herself being torn away. It was different when he left for Eastern College. He came back on the weekend and on breaks. He wasn’t “gone” as he was when he walked away from her house that morning. His decision was his own and she wasn’t even consulted when he joined. Riza was left standing there knowing that there was not one thing she could do to make him turn around. She had to own the load of emotions of not knowing when he was coming back. The memory haunted her, crushed her heart as she even thought about how alone she felt. Once again, she was on the abandoning end of the decision with no input allowed. Once again, she was on the end where she was only able to watch. 

Her wracked body shook as she cried softly into his chest. His arms holding her tight against him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered continually to her. “I promise it’s going to be okay.” 

“How do you know?” She pulled away from him and looked into his dark eyes, looking for any reassurance she could get. He could hold her, he could kiss her, but his eyes would give it all away. “You said that before,” she sniffed, wiping one eye with her thumb. 

“And it was,” he said quietly, as if it was only her in the world that was supposed to hear it. “Whatever happens, it’s going to be okay.” He hand pulled her back into his chest where she tried to pull herself together. 

“How do you know? How can you be so certain?” Riza pulled back once more and stepped back from him. “They have lied and lied to you, and you are just going to believe that it’s all going to be okay?” 

“They haven’t always lied to me,” he argued gently. 

“Now you’re going to defend them?” It enraged her. He was always defending them when they were just using him. 

“Riza,” he said softly. 

“No! They didn’t even have to go in and get you when you got shot! They have no care in the world about you.” Her voice quivered.  _ They would have let you die.  _

“That may be, but -” 

“I’ve heard you say it before. You want to save the world, and protect the ones you love. But maybe there’s a different way about going about it.”

He nodded side to side, letting out a groan. 

“Maybe I’m tired of sitting by and not being able to protect the ones _ I _ love,” she continued. “I can’t save you from this.” 

“Riza, I can do this. I can figure this out. It’s going to be okay.” 

She turned and grabbed her plate, and dumped the leftovers in the trash. “I’m just upset that this is the second time you’re going to walk away from me, and the second time I won’t know if you’re okay.” She turned and put the dish in the sink before reaching for him. 

“I’m going to be an aid for one of the Colonels. I’m going to learn and be part of the decision making. It’s not that dangerous.” 

She dumped what was on his plate in the trash. 

“I’m going to be in a safer position than before.” 

She put the plate in the sink, holding back another round of tears. Eventually, they were going to come out and once she started, Riza knew that there’d be no stopping it. But that is what she wanted. She just wanted to curl up and cry. It didn’t do any good, though. She wasn’t just going to put herself in a position of uselessness. 

“If anything, I’ll be able to call you and write to you more often.” He reached out, grabbing her wrist before she reached for the baking pan. “Look at me,” he ordered softly. 

Riza tentatively looked at him, already feeling as if this was going to be the last night together with him.  _ It’s not. Just trust him. Trust that he’s not abandoning me.  _

“What can we talk about to make this more comfortable and more confident about this situation?” Roy leaned on the counter, rubbing his face. 

She’d talked herself through this. She had once accepted that he was the military’s before. She had accepted his love for his job. She had accepted his dedication and his loyalty to the State. However, it didn’t make this any easier. It was who he was, and as before, she needed to accept this was the life she agreed to. This was her choice in some sense. 

“What happens if I die? What can you do while I’m gone? How will finances work?” They weren’t topics she would have chosen, but starting topics to reassure her. He could have gone in another direction completely and changed the subject, but instead, he was still looking for a source of comfort for her. What was making her so anxious? 

“What will happen if you die,” she asked quietly. She averted her eyes from his, placing a hand on the counter and putting weight on it. Where else was she supposed to start? What other morbid conversations could they have before they settled in for the evening?

“You don’t have to worry about the funeral,” he said all too casually. “That will be taken care of. I’m going to put you as a beneficiary in my will.”

Her body hurt as she listened to him. It was like hearing him talk on his deathbed. It was too real.  _ Of course it’s going to feel real. It is real. _ “What does that mean?”

“Before, all my belongings and money went to Chris. I will set it up so that it goes to you. I have a retirement account and life insurance. That will also go to you.” His voice was level, serious in a manner which brought confidence back to her. “That amount should be enough for you for a couple years.” He reached out for her again. 

_ We’re not even married and he’s already ensuring you are taken care of,  _ she tried to reassure herself.

“But you will have my apartment. I will have my checks go to you, or I can give you access to my accounts. I won't be using any money while I’m there. You can use it here.” 

It was apparent that he’d been thinking about this longer than she had. It made her wonder if he knew about it longer than he was letting on. She looked down at her fidgeting hands. It came with the realization that he really was thinking about her first. She’d always assumed it, expected it, but never really seen it on this kind of level. It meant that he had thought about  _ this _ before. He had actually covered all his bases just in case he ever did get called to the front lines. Or, he had time to think about it in his office today. For the first time, he sounded sure of what he was saying. His words were calm, not shaky like her breath, and logical, unlike her thoughts. 

“Come on,” he said with a toss of his head. “Let’s not dwell on this.” 

Riza nodded, looking back up into his eyes. Behind those dark locks were solid and tired eyes. 

He reached over with a warm smile and grabbed a fry from behind her. “Do you trust me?” 

There was a moment of questioning even in herself. Trust was a very tough word. She trusted him, but she couldn’t because he was answering to something that wasn’t exactly what he could predict and promise. That’s what trust was, a promise. Surely he couldn’t promise something he had no control over. He was just asking it so she would calm down, when in reality, it terrified her even more. “I do,” she answered with a timid nod. “But I can’t trust the military.” 

She watched as Roy frowned and bit the corner of his bottom lip. She would guess that he knew exactly what she was talking about. He looked away for a moment before looking back at her, his eye strong for the first time since he walked in through the door. “Trust me on this,” he said firmly. “I love you. And I always will. I’m not going to leave you.” 

“Roy, you have to go.” 

“Yes,” he nodded, walking around the counter to the living room side. “But you’re not going to be left unprepared, that’s what I’m trying to say.” 

It was like he knew what she was itching to say. He wasn’t going to just leave her to take on obligations and her feelings alone. Roy was going to do what her father failed to do and make sure she was taken care of. He was going to make sure she was ready and set before he left. He even was going to talk with her when he could. She felt it in her soul that he wasn’t going to  _ abandon  _ her in any sense. The tension in her shoulders loosened and her jaw slacked. “Are you scared?” She turned to look at him stop halfway to the couch. 

He chuckled and nodded slowly. “I am,” he admitted. “But if there is a moment of weakness, you have lost the game.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You learn to always look confident and strong,” he said casually. “The second you second guess yourself, you allowed someone else to take that confidence from you.” Roy sat on the couch with a groan. “Heh,” he laughed. “Maybe that’s why they like me.” 

“Because you don’t let anyone take your confidence?” 

“I’ve had ideas on how strategies have needed to change. I think we need to move into more of a defensive positioning and wait it out. I’ve always been an advocate to use tanks and planes differently. And I’ve pushed for the Alchemists to be more engaged in certain maneuvers. Even when they ignore me, or they disregard my ideas completely, I stay convicted to my thoughts.” He crossed his legs and laughed as he sat on the couch. 

“Why would they still want you around if your thoughts were conflicting to their own?”

“That,” he pointed at her, “was what Maes and I couldn’t figure out.” 

“Maes knows?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we talked about it over lunch.” 

Riza sat next to him, pulling her hair up into a clip. “What does he say?” 

“He thinks there’s bigger things at play.” 

“I think so too.” Riza’s gut tightened. 

“You’re taking this better than I thought.” 

She looked at him as he leaned into the couch. “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing I can do about it.” 

He nodded slowly, as he looked at the turned off TV. “You’re right. There’s not much we can do.” 

They didn’t watch TV. He eventually got up and led her into the bedroom. It was hard not to watch him change into his pajama pants without a shirt. More collectively, it was hard not to see his scar. He had always taken it in stride. It was a “testament” to his determination to live. However, she was sure they both knew it was a reminder of how lucky he was. It was a trophy that earned him a badge and a promotion.  _ These promotions seem to come with wounds,  _ she frowned to herself. The idea didn’t sit well with her. What would they ask in return for his promotion? 

She curled up against his side, her head on his chest. She felt his fingers strum gently against her back as if he was playing a guitar. He wasn’t sleeping either. His breathing didn’t slow, his heartbeat didn’t calm, and his fingers didn’t stop swaying. The air in the room lingered heavily around them. The conversation still replaying in her head, Riza knew that sleep was going to evade her that night. She couldn’t reason why Roy was being picked. To think about it, he was young, inexperienced at the task, and wasn’t volunteering to do more of these kinds of tasks. Roy enjoyed what he did as it was. He didn’t concern himself too much with the tasks of Generals and Colonels. He didn’t even hang out with Colonel Fairbanks outside of work. He wasn’t even excited over the idea! 

Maybe he was showing potential. Maybe he was as smart as they said he was. Maybe, just maybe, he was supposed to go into this line of work all along. Riza frowned as she started to draw a circle on his chest with her fingers. She wasn’t sure what kind of man he was at work, except a serious and passionate guy about training. It was always apparent that he understood the importance of his position. She had to wonder if he picked it or not. If he hadn’t picked training as his profession he then jumped in and took the bull by its horns, making it to what he wanted it to be. He would do that with this new position. He was adaptable, his training as a special force officer to be flexible and able to improvise in tough positions. 

Truth was she wasn’t so worried about him as she was herself. She’d moved in with him, falling for him in such a dramatic way that she had grown addicted to him. She had let her guard down, lowered the proverbial wall, to let the man who had broken her once back into her life.  _ Ha,  _ she laughed in her head. She was just doomed to pick men who were prone to be dedicated to their work more than her. Maybe she got that from her father. It was all she’d ever known. Roy was supposed to be different. He was supposed to be the one that changed her life and make her see the world in a light that she had never known. And in many ways he had. 

“You’re not asleep,” he whispered into the darkness. 

“Sorry,” she whispered back. “But you’re not either.” 

He chuckled a “no” before putting his spare arm behind his head. 

“I thought I was happy. We were happy.” 

He chuckled again, her hand feeling his chest as he laughed. “I am happy.” She looked up to see him tucking his chin to his chest so that he could see her. “I have you. And anything can happen to us and I’ll be happy with you by my side.” 

Riza expected him to propose again. He’d say the same lines as before and say that if he died, he’d want to marry her first.  _ He’s such a romantic. _ But she loved him. She loved the way he held her in the mornings and the kisses on the cheek when e was just walking by. In turn, she’d hug his waist when he was doing something, or run her hand through his hair while he was zoning out over homework. Homework. 

“What about your studies?” 

“I thought about that,” he replied thoughtfully. “I guess they just get put on hold.” 

“Can you get your degree outside of the military?”

He hummed. “Yeah. I can.” 

She looked into the darkness, running her fingers from his clavicle to his abdomen. “Are you going to leave the military?”

He hummed again, but this time he stayed silent. 

“I mean, after this. Because they are forcing you to go back.”

There was silence but she felt him shift uncomfortably under her hand. He sighed loudly and his hand stopped brushing her back. 

“You’re going to stay in it?” Riza sat up, looking back at him. 

“It’s complicated,” he argued quietly. He stared back at her, giving her a half frown. “This is what I do. I don’t really have anything planned. And you know I enjoy it.” 

She wanted to ridicule him, get angry that he was okay with being taken advantage of, but she didn’t. That wasn’t the right way to go about it. They’d already had that conversation, and she didn’t want to argue with him about it again. The military was who he was. She’d come to terms with it then, there wasn’t a reason to get riled up about it once more. “What about your degree?”

“I can get in with the engineers and work on structures with the military,” he answered easily. 

“You really have no plans to leave.” She turned her body watching him slide over to give her room. 

“Not really. I can’t say I’m not angry. I am. I’m pretty pissed,” he said with an empty chuckle. “But this is what I signed up for.” He sat up on his elbows. “Does that anger you?” 

She snorted. “I don’t understand how you’re okay with this.” 

He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “I understand.” He reached out, opening his arm for her to join him. “Come here. We can talk about this later.” 

She slid back down to him. She snuggled close again, putting her head on his shoulder. “I think you’re better than just the military,” she whispered. “I think you can do anything you want.” 

“I know,” he whispered. “I know…” 

The room settled down again and she listened to his heart. It was doubtful that either of them got much sleep, and what sleep they did get wasn’t quality sleep either. When her eyes opened to the mattress moving, her body felt sore and worn to the bone. She saw his back, hunched over as he rubbed his face. She wanted him to stay home, stay in bed with her, and comfort him until the afternoon. Her arms could pull him close as she kissed his chest. The sun had yet to come up, the room still dark, as he stood and groaned. “Stay home,” she begged quietly. 

“Not today,” he replied tiredly, interrupted by a yawn.

“Please,” she whimpered. 

He turned back, limping sorely back to her. Leaning down, he kissed her softly on her lips, then on her forehead. It was an apology kiss, soft and short of a peck, one that was only for when he couldn’t do what was asked of him. The way he slouched and stretched with his body tight, she knew he wanted to stay home and sleep. She imagined him curled up against her, sleeping till the sun woke them together. The apartment would be quiet, still, and empty without him. She’d already decided to stay home. She’d go to work in the afternoon but miss her classes.

The shower turned on down the hall. He was invincible. He was the rock in her life. When it came down to it, he got up and did what he needed to do. It was admirable.  _ I guess I should go to school too. _ She sighed, pulling his pillow close to her with a yawn.  _ If he can do it, I should do it too.  _ After all, he was generally the lazy one out of the two of them. It was common to come home after coffee with Maria and find him in his underwear watching TV and eating cereal or something. There would be dishes in the sink, and a pile of socks by the door and all she could do was roll her eyes at him. The only thing Roy was ever diligent about was work-related, and even that she wondered how much he actually did. 

Riza closed her eyes, hearing the water turn off. She could get a few more minutes of sleep before she had to take him in. Once on her feet and awake, she’d get ready for school no matter what time her class was. Her eyes shot open when she felt his lips against her temple. He was standing over her smiling softly. 

“I’m going to run to work.” He was wearing a sweatshirt and his sweatpants. “I have a change of clothes there.” 

She nodded sitting up. “I love you,” she whispered. 

“Hey,” he grinned. “I love you too.” He kissed her lips, their noses brushing affectionately. “Please have a good day. Will you call me before you go to work?”

“I can,” she nodded, laying back down. 

“I’d like that.” He stood up and rolled his shoulders. She didn’t move. Her muscles are too weak to get up and get going. “Sleep good,” he called as he walked out the door. She wasn’t going to protest it. She was asleep before the door shut behind him. 

Her alarm woke her an hour later. Class was at nine that day so she had the opportunity to take her time getting up. However, she felt numb. The water gave her no relief, no cleanse of yesterday. The clothes felt off, as if they were fitting her funny. She couldn’t explain it. She didn’t feel like Riza. Her breakfast toast and egg did not taste right either. It was dull, flavorless, in a sense. Even her coffee tasted watered down. Her breath shallow and her gait was short. Her school bag would be dragging on the floor if she was any more tired. 

Her mood didn’t improve. By her internship at the middle school, Riza struggled to focus. Instead of working directly with the students, she asked to grade papers. At least that was a simple task that was mundane enough that didn’t need too much attention. 1) B 2)A 3)A 4)C And when she zoned out, it wasn’t like she missed anything. If she wasn’t spacing out, she was thinking about how tired Roy must have been. He was at work and stressing himself. 

* * *

Friday morning arrived faster than either of them would have liked. Normally Riza would have smiled at the naked man getting up with his hair a mess and sticking in all directions. He tilted his head to the side and then to the other side. Not that Friday. Her stomach tightened and she watched as he reached into his drawers to get out a clean pair of boxers. Slowly he turned, leaning on the bed with a grin. “Good morning, Beautiful,” he whispered as his lips brushed against hers. “Will the sun be rising with me this beautiful morning.” He had a gallon of optimism. Maybe he had forgotten what day it was; the day she’d been counting down to.  _ “Relax. We will know Friday,”  _ He had told her. His dark eyes looked peacefully into hers and for the life of her she didn’t understand why they were so calm. All the stress for the week boiled down to today, and he was walking it off like it was nothing to worry about. 

“Morning,” she replied quietly. 

His lips grazed her lips again, teasing them, before a light peck on her lips. She felt how the slipped so easily, almost painfully drawing from her. How she wished that time could stop just a second more for that tender touch his lips brought to hers. 

He smiled, turning to walk to the shower. Whatever happened, she had to accept it. There was no fighting something that was out of her control. Roy wanted to do his best and give it his all. Where she was terrified inside, and a nervous wreck, he seemed too confident. The bed was warmer than the air in the apartment. It was spring, but it was still too cool in the mornings. She put on her pajamas before moving herself into the kitchen to start some coffee for him. She’d have a cup or two also, not that it wouldn’t increase her anxiety. She was going to be a nervous wreck. 

The bathroom door opened, steam billowing outward as Roy with a mophead smiling towards her. “That was nice,” he nodded towards the coffee. “You going to be okay?”

“I am wondering about you,” she replied. “You’re too happy this morning.” 

He grabbed her hips and pulled them towards him. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and he looked down at her, kissing her nose. “Well, it was a lovely night,” he whispered. “That gave me a boost for the day.” 

She laughed as he snickered. “You’re going to be in a good mood all day with a stressful meeting at the end of it?”

“I can think about you last night and I’ll just smile the whole day.” 

Riza let her arms wrap around his neck, their bodies becoming one as they pressed together in the small kitchen. 

“The way you smiled, or the moans of my name…” 

“Then I guess I’ll just have to remember you begging me to stop,” she giggled back. 

He pulled from her, grabbing his coffee with a grin. “Whatever gets you off, Babe.” 

She could do it. She could do today. She’d be back before he would. Dinner would be ready when he got home, and she was not going to be emotional about it. There was no reason. She straightened herself, rubbing her face. They’d deal with it when he came home. 


	19. The War Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy finds out he's not going to be alone on his meeting with the Generals. And it's no one good. How will it go, and will Roy be sent South?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU RANDO!!!

“How is it that we have meatheads in this damn division?” 

“Sir, we are in the army. It’s not like they are  _ looking _ for intelligence.” 

Roy groaned as he pinched his nose. “They are the stupidest young men I think I have ever met.” 

“In their defense, they are right out of the academy.” 

Roy looked over at Sergeant Jackson. “Are you defending them?” He pointed out to the field. “They dug a sideways hole, Sergeant! A half tunnel!” 

“Yes, Sir. But they-” 

“No! Then when I tell them to apply a freaking bandage, tough guy over there,” he said loudly as he pointed to the larger of the young men who were running, “he has to complain there is no happy cartoon character on it!” 

“The army just wants them to point and shoot.” 

Roy exhaled through his nose, crossing his arms and watched the men loop around the end of the pole. “They can’t dig holes. I have never seen a sideways hole…” He pointed to the men again. “It’s a damn slope! They built a mudslide!” 

Jackson flinched. The young man, maybe the same age as Roy with bright blonde hair, was not as rigid or even as sturdy as Roy. He had no grounds to stand on, no original ideas. He was only promoted because he had the ability to tell someone what to do. 

Roy groaned. “These are not medics. I refuse to train them.” 

“Then they can be explosive engineers.” 

If his day couldn’t get any worse. Roy turned, glaring at the man behind him. 

“I mean, we can pick them like we did in high school dodgeball. I’ll take the large dumb as a bag of rocks. I”m sure you’d like the squeaky chick at the end of the line. She looks like she can put a band-aid on a boo-boo.” 

“Good Morning, Major Kimblee.” Every so often, the psycho would break out from his den and eyeball the new students. “These students are already claimed.”  _ But you can still have the big dumb, bag of rocks.  _

“Major Mustang,” He greeted in return. The man was a thin stick of a guy, with long black hair pulled back. He was a fidgeter, always having a match or a lighter in his pocket to play with. Though Roy tinkered with his watch, he wasn’t thinking about blowing stuff up with it. His voice was slithery and when he first met Solf Kimblee, he imagined that was what a snake would sound like. All Roy’s hair on his body stood on end and his back tensed as if he was readying for a fight. However, Solf was not a fighting type of guy. He used words to get to people and held a dangerous persona. He was everything Roy wasn’t. 

“What honor do we have for you to grace us with your presence?” Roy let him hear the sarcasm in his voice. 

“Heard there were fresh recruits and thought I’d come check them out.” Major Kimblee strolled up to stand next to Roy, spinning a lighter between his thumb and finger. Roy watched as his middle finger flicked it to keep it spinning. “These are your new medics? Looks like you have work to do.” 

Roy snorted. “The academy is spitting them out so fast all they are learning to do is run.” 

Kimblee laughed loudly. “Run towards the enemy or away, running is an important skill to have.” He had served his time in the field like Roy, but he was an explosive tech, running C4 and mines in the field. “I’ve always wondered how they pick which ones go where. When you and I were in the academy, they actually tested us and interviewed us.” 

They were not in the same academy. Kimblee was, in fact, five years older than him. “They pick straws,” he sighed. “I’m not sure anymore.” 

“I guess they should be happy they are not joining the Alchemist programs.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow at Kimblee. 

“They’d just get sent behind the lines to get shot.” He didn’t turn to see Roy’s reaction. “I’m sure you understand that.” 

Roy wanted to punch him, throw him in one of the shittily dug holes, and light him on fire with his own lighter. 

“It’s good to see them learn some valuable skills.” 

“You were in the Alchemist program,” Roy said easily, smirking. 

“Yes.” Kimblee scratched his cheek. “And look at where that has brought us, Mustang.” 

“Where is that?” 

“We are stuck here at Central instead of seeing our skills being valued in the field where we belong.” He rolled his wrist, his hand swirling as he talked. “We are men of war. My bombs are being used as test subjects. Poor things are misused and under-appreciated, like us.” 

Roy glared from the side of his eye. 

“It’s a disgrace to see you, a war hero, teaching medics.” 

“Someone has to do it.” 

“And that is you?” 

Sergeant Jackson looked back and forth at the two exchanging words. 

Solf Kimblee laughed again. “I did hear that they are considering you for maneuvering. Isn’t that meeting tonight?”

Roy didn’t reply, only watched the group groan as he circled his finger in the air to tell them to do another loop. 

“I was really surprised they were looking to take a war hero back into the trenches. That’s where they want you, you know.” 

Roy grimaced. “I will be working as an officer’s aide. Better than a desk jockey here.” 

“You don’t know? An officer’s aide? You have to be kidding yourself, Mustang. You’re going to go back into the field under Colonel Cleveland and into the trenches.” 

Roy did his best to not physically show his flinch. 

“Maneuvering…” He let out a loud laugh. 

“Well, if I’m out there, maybe I can make some good decisions and change what’s going on.” 

“Yes, it seems our super starred leaders are making mistakes in and out of the field.” He tapped his chin as he looked up. “They should be retiring with those kinds of decisions.” 

“What decisions are those?” But Roy knew he was making a jab at him. He just wanted to hear him say it. 

“They are only getting men killed. See, Mustang, that is our job. We should say how we want to do it. They need to be replaced, don’t you agree?” 

“Those are dangerous words,” he warned his snakey friend. “It could be taken a certain way that will land you in prison.” 

“I’m sure the Sergeant here isn’t going to say anything.” 

Roy watched Jackson swallow hard. 

“Well, I just wanted to stop by and see if your children were any better than my dull group.” He turned on his heel. “I will see you later at the meeting,” he said as he waved over his shoulders. 

Roy sneered at him.  _ Great, he’s going to be there. _ “Sergeant, I want these sad sacks to dig a proper hole before they are released. I’m going to go to an early lunch.” If he was in a bad mood before, he was not going to be tolerable for the rest of the day. 

“Yes, Sir,” came an instant salute. 

Roy turned and walked swiftly into the building. He maneuvered through the halls, his steps powerful as they clapped against the tile floor. He had to try to remain calm, not show that he was worked up over a few words, but his fists were balled up and his heart going a mile a minute. He moved down another hallway before entering an office. “Maes,” he called out. “Going to lunch. Let’s go.” 

Maes looked up from his desk, his antenna bouncing. “But I’m in the middle of-” 

“Come on,” he growled, his eyes glaring a hard and demanding tone of urgency.

Maes stood up, rolling his eyes. “I never drag you out of your office like this.” 

Roy huffed back at his best friend. “That’s all you ever do.” 

“And it’s turkey day,” Maes mumbled. “Do you not know that military turkey is not even turkey? It’s nasty and … I don’t even know what they make it out of. Maybe some processed shit they found in the back freezer from three years ago…” 

Roy grumped loudly. “You think I would voluntarily drag you out of your special little workforce because I wanted to have a turkey lunch with you?”

Maes stepped out and shut the door behind him. “I thought you liked me.” He turned to visibly pout at Roy. 

He’d have none of it. “Kimblee is going to be at the meeting today,” he whispered roughly. 

Maes stopped mid-step and turned back, opening his door in a wide swoop. A tight hold grabbed Roy by the sleeve and in the next second, he was tossed back into the office. Maes slammed the door behind him. “What did you just say?” 

“He came up and said hi while I was running the new guys. He said that he’d be at the meeting tonight.” 

Maes rubbed his chin. “And why would they do that…” 

Roy ran his hand through his hair with a groan. “Fuck.” 

“What? Afraid you are going to blow it, or afraid that they will find out that you are trying to blow it?” 

Roy looked through the window on Mae’s door. “What do you want to bet they are trying to figure out which one is going to stay and which one is going to go?”

“That’s easy then,” Maes grinned. “Just let him go first and then agree with him!” 

Roy shook his head as he rubbed his chin. “Can you imagine if he actually got it?”

Maes frowned. “Good point.” He rubbed his chin, looking thoughtfully at the floor. 

“He did say something interesting… He said that the generals were old and needed to step down or be replaced.” 

“That’s dangerous.” Maes leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. 

He nodded, half sitting on Mae’s desk. 

“Don’t repeat that,” Maes ordered softly. “Nothing good will come from a ‘he said this and that’ game.” 

“I wonder if he’s already helping and he’s there to judge you.” 

Roy instantly shook his head. “I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that he wanted to be there just to get on my nerves. He was just threatening me in his ways, trying to get under my skin. I’m sure he knows that he’s getting my department.” 

“That’s why he’d show up.” Maes snapped his finger at the realization. 

Roy held a stern face as he looked out the door window. “I am beginning to think you’re right. There’s a conspiracy brewing.” 

Maes chuckled lowly and scratched his cheek. “I still think you should do your best in there. If you can get in there, and move yourself up in rank, then you’ll have more of a chance of ending this damn war.” 

“Bothering you too?” 

“Roy,” Maes said seriously. “We’re losing. They’ve gained farm fields, destroyed forests. Word was they took an oil pump. Either we need to form a treaty, surrender the area, or find a new way to push them back.” 

“What do you think I’m trying to do,” Roy sneered. 

“I don’t think that’s what Kimblee is doing. He’s not that kind of guy.” 

Roy sighed heavily through his nose and chuckled a few times. “Maybe he’s just trying to get me to think that way.” 

“No, he’s wanting to kill more freaking people,” Maes rubbed his forehead. 

Roy frowned, lines on his brow forming. 

“He’s crazy in the head.” 

“We can both agree on that. But what do we do about him being at that meeting?” 

Maes stood up from the wall, still scratching at his half beard. “Brings you to the same two options. You can come up with a crazy idea that will get you thrown out and go back to your training as a Major.” He held up one finger, then the other. “Or two, you can really try and get the promotion and prevent Major Kimblee from getting the job.” 

“If that’s what he’s doing there.” 

“He wanted to throw you off-kilter. He did just that. You’re sweating this!” 

Roy nodded slowly as he looked at the floor. 

“Go back to your office and practice your lines. You’re going to be okay.” Maes patted him on the shoulder, maybe a bit too hard. 

Roy put his hands in his pockets as he walked back towards his own office. He put on a straight face, not letting anyone know he was troubled. Inside it felt like a war was brewing. Maes was right, Kimblee says things to get under people’s skin, and it had worked on Roy. He rolled his shoulders, an attempt to roll off the bad vibes. He still had to make sure his presentations were in order even if he wasn’t going to be there to train this group or maybe the next. Roy opened the door, staring in his office. “Fuck it,” he grumbled. He shut the door and headed in another direction. 

* * *

The bad thing about a treadmill was that no matter how long you ran, you stayed in one spot. You can't outrun your problems, or run into something better. Sweat ran down his temples as he looked up at the TV, watching the news. His feet kept stead in place, the machine bouncing lightly with each of his steps. The t-shirt he was wearing was soaked with sweat, as were his shorts, but Roy didn’t stop. He just kept running. At some point he figured that he’d be too tired to worry about anything. It hadn’t happened yet. He turned up the dial, picking up the pace and looked back up at the news. They were discussing a proposed treaty with Aerugo that would open up food trades and resources like oil. 

_ I wonder if I could take Riza there,  _ Roy thought as he pushed through his run.  _ We could vacation there for a week or so. Forget that this war and country is going to the shitter.  _ The TV showed pictures of prosperity and the treaty that they had before. 

“We haven’t always seen eye to eye with Aerugo, but we are moving forward to peace.” 

Roy did everything he could not to roll his eyes. Their country was always at war with someone. Give it ten years and they will be fighting over who has the bigger - 

“Hey, Mustang!” 

Roy turned to see his Colonel walking up to him. 

“Sir,” he called back as he turned his treadmill off. He stepped off, turning to give a proper salute. 

Colonel Fairbanks saluted back before stroking his mustache. “You’re a hard man to find.” 

“Sorry, Sir. Just burning some angst.” 

“I’d say.” He chuckled, grinning at the TV. “Sounds like our country is moving to peace.” He turned to Roy, hands on his hips. “What do you think about that,” he asked, tossing his head towards the news. 

Roy looked up there and then back at his commanding officer. “Well, Sir. I think finding a peaceful route would be good for our country. I know that we have the resources and lifting the trade embargo on some of these items will be good for both countries.”

The Colonel nodded with a grin. “We’ll be out of a job!”

Roy laughed and shook his head. “I doubt that. We will go North with Drachma in a couple years.” 

“I hope not,” the man shook his head quickly. “I hate the cold. Have you ever thought about going into politics?” 

Roy continued to laugh. 

“I do hope this meeting goes well. We need someone who likes peace among us.” 

Roy sighed and looked back at the TV, thinking about what Solf had said. “You want this war to end?”

The older Colonel nodded slowly. “Despite what others say, sometimes it’s nice to have a peaceful time. I remember when I was younger, we went to Creta. It’s a beautiful country with rich foods and culture. Their architecture is amazing. However, they don’t have sustainable resources. Even then they didn’t. Their country was growing too fast.” 

_ They should have created a trade deal then instead of going to war _ , Roy thought. 

“We need someone in there that will shake things up.” The Colonel patted his back before turning to walk out. “You better get dressed and showered. You also better have a plan before going in there. You’re representing me after all.” 

He nodded with a heavy sigh. 

Roy gathered his things and trudged back to the locker room. 

* * *

The room was stuffy, two Generals, a tall man with white hair and goatee named Raven, and the other man, dark-skinned, tall and wide, holding a smoking cigar of a man. He was more intimidating for sure and Roy had dealt with him quite a bit. He was short-tempered and short-minded. “Good Afternoon, General Raven, General Klemin.” His Colonel and he saluted to the two who weakly saluted back. 

“Glad you two could make it,” the intimidating General Klemin grumbled with a cigar in his mouth. “We just heard that Creta took Marco and Oporto. This will be a good opportunity to see if Major Roy Mustang is a genius as everyone says.” 

He didn’t consider himself a genius at all. He was a normal guy who had made good decisions on rare occasions. Roy looked towards the door as a fresh and polished Major Kimblee strolled through the door. He gave a perfect salute, acknowledging both Generals. 

“It’s a pleasure to be here. Thank you for giving me this opportunity.” 

_ Suck up,  _ Roy growled in his head. 

Two more Colonels entered the room before the Generals looked towards Roy. “Major Mustang. I’m sure you understand that this meeting is confidential.” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“We are losing land, resources, and our line is thinning. We had to make a full retreat to Fafaub and we have weak reinforcements in Geymep.” 

Roy looked at the map. Things were getting worse. He studied it, glancing quickly to one spot than the other. He watched out of his peripheral to see Major Kimblee standing with his arms crossed, doing the same thing. 

“We have a plan of attack, however, there are positions that are opening up in Geymep that would include some promotions. I understand that you have made a considerable difference in your training and I’d like to see that at the front. You have served behind the lines and have earned yourself quite a few medals for your bravery.”

“Just doing my job, Sir,” Roy quickly answered.  _ I wasn’t looking for medals, I was looking to stay alive. _

“Nonetheless, Colonel Fairbanks said that he thought you might like a promotion here.” 

Roy nodded, looking back at the map. 

Over the next twenty minutes, General Raven explained the dire situations of the field to the South West. Roy’s stomach grew sick, not from the pressure of the questions, but because he wished that the numbers he was presented with weren’t true. He begged himself to know that it was a simulation. The enemy had gained what land Amestris had fought hard for, and the army’s line was in a clear retreat. There was no real end to it, and there was no certainty to how far Creta was going to invade. The gained lands were beaten and most of it would be unfarmable for years if not decades. The land would even be useless to Amestris. The whole war was escalating mostly out of spite. Each side wanted to win just for the sake of winning at this point, not because it was best for the country. And the numbers said so. Generations were being slaughtered. He covered his mouth, hiding the gasp. 

“Where would you move, Mustang?” 

Roy continued to look at the lines, quietly. This training, in class and in practice, was of deceit. He’d said this before and it didn’t go over well. However, that’s what he thought was best.  _ We need the enemy to think we are going one way and sweep around back…  _ “Where are the armored divisions? The tanks?” 

“We have some here,” General Klemin pointed to the map. “But we need to have some in reserve to protect these towns.” 

Roy pinched his nose. “I think we should do something a bit drastic.” 

Both Generals looked at each other. 

“Now isn’t the time for taking risks,” One of the other Colonels said easily. “Now is the time for fortifications and defensive maneuvers.” 

Roy pointed to the center of the line. “Send the tanks there. All but one division.” 

“You’re leaving reserves weak,” General Kremlin said as he exhaled a puff of smoke. 

“I know we don’t have many air squads left, so send all that we can to the center.” Roy looked back to see Colonel Fairbanks straight-faced with his arms crossed. He wasn’t going to praise or reprimand him. He was just watching. In a way, he appreciated the gesture. It built his confidence knowing that his Colonel trusted him. He turned back to the map. “We want to break through to the center.” 

“That’s reinforced,” Kremlin again argued. 

“No,” Roy tapped the map. “They took Marco too. They are going to swing up. We left Magnani open. There’s little protection there. They are going to swing up. Just outside of Oporto is the center. We need to keep the hold on Fafaub, and move to the East of Oporto.” 

Raven stroked his goatee while another Colonel leaned on the table. “They have Oporto well fortified.” 

“We’re not going for Oporto.” 

“What are you thinking,” Raven asked quietly. 

“To drive them out,” Colonel Fairbanks muttered. “They are going to have to empty out Oporto in order to hold the center.” 

Roy nodded. It was now or never. Before, when asked, he was reserved, saying little information or ideas to prevent getting in trouble or scorned. Now, they were asking him and evaluating him. He needed to give the ideas he had. He looked up to see Kimblee looking at the other end of the map. 

“What about Magnani,” Major Kimblee nodded to the other side of the map. “You said it was unarmed.” 

Roy held up a finger. “I have no doubt that they are going to take that. To protect the civilians, we have but reserves there.” He looked towards one of the Colonels. “I’m guessing that these are the younger men, the reserves of the reserves?”

He nodded casually with a shrug. 

“They are going to be intimidated and without backup. There will be little confidence in them.” 

The room grew quiet while the superiors looked the map over. 

“We need to abandon Magnani.” Major Kimblee moved his finger back from the small town. “We can set ambushes in this whole town and have it ready for a trap.” 

General Raven nodded. 

“They will know something is up if we evacuated the town. We don’t even have time for something like that.” 

Roy watched as Kimblee made his stand.

“No. Leave the population there.” He put his hands in his pockets. “We will give them no warning. The population will be armed and ready to fight in our stead.” 

“Risky,” General Raven sighed. “But definitely an idea for our southern border.” 

“We should fortify and leave Oporto alone. Let them come at the two towns and mine the roads. Have the planes hit Oporto, but don’t rush out troops in there.” 

Roy grumped. “They know we are in retreat. They know our morale is low.” 

“And what,” Kimblee snarled. “Send them to the center where it’s fortified. I thought you didn’t like seeing people killed.” 

“If they push to reinforce the center, then we can move men around to the back.” 

“That is going miles out of the way. They don’t have miles.” 

“The alchemy forces are trained for this situation. If anything, have them slip through here,” he pointed between Magnani and Oporto, “and hit their reserves. If we can get their supplies, they won’t be able to hold the center like I said. We will decimate them from behind.” 

“I thought you’d know that going behind the lines doesn’t work. Don’t you have a pretty reminder of how useless those forces are?” 

Roy glared at the skinny officer who grinned wickedly. 

“We have artillery and explosives. We have the ability to fortify and let them come to us.” 

“That’s not a bad idea,” General Kremlin said as he waved his finger at Kimblee. “We can rest the troops.” 

Roy sighed through his nose. The plan was too simple.  _ If we are resting, so is the enemy.  _

“We can’t wait. We have to collect and attack while the enemy is resting. They are going to be bunkered down, eating and resting in Oporto. If we attack on the side, press tanks, and planes to this spot, then we might be able to breakthrough.” 

“Then what,” Kimblee laughed. “So we break the line. Then we have two sides to fight.” 

“We loop back and take Oporto on three sides.” 

“You’re forgetting Magnani,” Kimblee tossed his head towards the other town. “There is good farmland here. They will burn our fields.” 

Roy crossed his arms and stepped back to see the map as a whole. “This isn’t the time to be predictable.” 

“You mean traditional,” Kimblee said quietly. “What did we talk about earlier? Something about old ways out, new ideas in?” 

Roy slowly looked up at his adversary. 

“Oh! It was about old Generals out, new Generals in!” 

“What,” Raven asked slowly. 

“Don’t you put words in my mouth, Kimblee.” 

“For a medic trainer, you are awfully offensive in your tactics,” he continued. “Maybe it’s because your men get to go to work using your training to save people. It will give you more credibility.” Major Kimblee put his hands on the table as he leaned closer to Roy, smiling. “While I’m wanting to save our men, you’re putting them right back into danger.” 

“Kimblee,” Roy growled again. 

“Are you saying that you don’t think that the Generals are able to conduct a successful front,” Raven asked as he stood straight at Roy. “Are you here just to overtake us?” 

“No,” Roy quickly turned to Raven to defend himself. “Major Kimblee here was telling me-” 

“I just stopped by to say hi,” Kimblee shrugged. 

“Now just a minute,” Colonel Fairbanks quickly stepped in as everyone began to talk. “Major Mustang is not after anyone. He’s here to make a difference.” 

“Sounds like he’s looking to influence the front line for his own advancement in the military.” 

Roy snapped his head back at Kimblee. “You say one more word, and I’ll give you what you’ve needed for years.” 

“What? A pat on the back?” 

Roy reached across the table to grab at Kimblee but his Colonel grabbed him and pulled him back. The room went into an uproar. 

“Don’t do anything brash,” He heard his Colonel growl in his ear. 

General Raven put his hands up, ordering silence. “Major Mustang. If you go down there, you will have a division of men under your command. Do you understand this?”

Roy frowned. “I thought I was going to be an aide.” 

“You are.” 

“I’m not supposed to go to the front line. I’m not completely healed to be in active duty to that extent.” 

“You won’t be.” Raven waved his hand over the map. “But you will be responsible for your section of men.” 

Kremlin nodded with a sideways grin. “If you were in Geymep, and you were ordered to send your men into this area,” he pointed to the West of Oporto, “what would you do?”

Roy gave one final glare at Kimblee. “That’s suicide, Sir.” 

“It’s an order.” Kremlin deepened his tone. 

“That’s a swing area. They are going to swing up to Oporto.” 

“Which is why I want your troops there.” 

Roy shook his head. “I couldn’t send my troops in there to know they are getting slaughtered in that tight swing. I’d encourage an outward movement to the West to hold the end of the swing where we can be routed.” 

“No, Major,” Kremlin spoke firmly and slowly. “Move your troops there.” 

Roy stepped back looking at the map. 

“You have the gall to come in here and tell us to attack a fortified center of a line but are resistant to sending your troops where  _ I  _ want them. I’m your General.” 

Roy shook his head. 

“You’d be court-martialed.” 

“No Sir.” 

“He was shot before,” Kimblee laughed. “He wouldn’t have the gall to get in there where you need him. He’s too scared. He has no backbone.” 

“Major Kimblee,” Raven growled. 

“Sir, I have been down there. I know how they fight, I know how we fight, and I know the pressure of those corners are. I would not order my men in there to get slaughtered.” 

General Kremlin pointed at Roy, glaring deeply and angrily at him. “You order those troops in there right now or I will court-martial you.” 

Roy looked at Kimblee, then at Colonel Fairbanks. It was a simple ‘yes sir.’ It wasn’t real, it didn’t really mean anything. But Roy knew better. They wanted Roy to know where he stood. They hadn’t forgotten what Kimblee said about newer Generals. They wanted to instill fear. 

“I am half tempted to drag your ass down to the radio room and you will order the 67th and the 99th into the arm.” 

Roy stood quietly. He took a deep breath. He would not do it. He couldn’t. 

“It’s an order, do you understand that?” Kremlin put the cigar in his mouth, chewing the end violently. 

Roy still didn’t move. He stood quietly, staring back at General Kremlin. 

“You are not a General. You are nothing to us,” Kremlin laughed. “You do as you're told. If you tell us to go for the center, and we tell you ‘no’ then damn it, you will put the troops where we tell you.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Major Kimblee grin. 

“Now order your troops in.” 

“This is a silly simulation,” Fairbanks encouraged from behind him. 

Roy didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. 

General Raven crossed his arms and turned to face Roy. “Do you think you can do this job better?

_ At this point? Yes!  _ “No Sir, I don’t. I have full faith that you have the troops’ health and safety in mind.” 

“Then explain to me why you told Major Kimblee here differently?” 

“I didn’t,” he argued. “Major Kimblee asked me how I felt about it. I didn’t answer him.” 

“You didn’t argue it,” Raven said quickly. 

Roy shut up again. 

General Raven looked up at the clock in the room and then back at the map. “Major Mustang, you have some very good points on this map. However, it does seem that you are willing to put all effort in one spot and leave the sides free. You fail to see the whole picture.” 

Roy went to interject but Raven held up a hand. 

“Major Mustang, you are relieved here.” 

Roy snapped a quick salute. 

“Don’t go anywhere,” Raven called quickly. “You will be reprimanded for your disobedience and action against another officer.” 

Roy tried to hide the flinch as he exited the door, letting it slam behind him. He debated going to the armory and waiting for Kimblee to go back. Riza would be disappointed that he lost his cool, but he was not about being put on the spot like that. Kimblee played dirty and he was going to play dirty back. It was six-thirty and the halls were mostly empty as he walked quickly to his office. His body was tense as he sat in his chair, leaning it back as he rubbed his face. “Fuck,” he groaned. Not only did it not go as planned, but the meeting went as south as it could have possibly have gone. If Kimblee wasn’t there, there’d been no argument against his loyalty or the reasoning behind his choices. Kimblee was there for himself, while Roy had been there for everyone else. “Fuck,” he said louder. Now he was going to have to go home to Riza and explain to her he was now… now what? Discharged from the military? Being sent to the front because of his incompetence as an officer? It seemed rigged from the start. Who would have ever thought of a major deciding what to do on a battlefield? That was ridiculous. 

His office remained quiet as he opened his phone. ‘ **What’s for dinner?’**

She didn’t respond right away and he bit his lip in anticipation. His Colonel was probably getting an earful for standing behind him. All Roy wanted to do was make a difference where he could. He never had any intention of putting himself in a situation that risked others, let alone being ordered to send me into a suicide mission. It made him think back to his own deployment. He was sent of a suicide mission. They knew what was up against him, he knew he might not come back. 

**‘You’re out already?’**

**‘Not quite.’**

**‘How does spicy pork tenderloin with sweet potatoes and a salad sound?’**

**‘You spoil me.’** Roy leaned back in his chair again and smiled at his screen.  **‘I love you.’**

**‘Love you too.’**

Then it grew quiet again. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, or how long he was going to sit there. For all he knew, he was in serious trouble for not following a simulation’s order to move troops in. And like any simulation, he should have done what he was trained to do, what the textbook answer was. But that one rubbed him wrong. General Klemin was asking him to do it only to assert his dominance and prove Roy’s loyalty. It should have been easy to just do as he was told. Why couldn’t he? He just felt off about the whole situation. 

“Hey.” 

Roy looked up from his seat and jumped up to see his Colonel there. “Sir!” 

“Calm down,” Fairbanks said softly, lowering his hand to indicate Roy to sit down. “You’re an exemplary officer, do you know that?”

Roy raised an eyebrow. 

“I am truly honored to have you under my command.” He stood straight and crossed his arms over his wide chest. “But what you did in there was reckless. How could you let Major Kimblee get under your skin like that?” 

Roy frowned. “I didn’t say that I wanted to see new Generals,” he said seriously as he looked up at his commanding officer. “Major Kimblee did. I just tried to ignore him.” 

“And you reacted. That’s unlike you.” 

Roy sighed heavily, letting all the air out of his lungs. 

“You will not be up for another promotion,” Fairbanks said firmly. “They have made that clear.” 

Roy flinched.  _ There goes my military career.  _

“I talked them out of making some sort of an example out of you by sending you to the Eastern Command...” 

“Did Major Kimblee-” 

“No,” Fairbanks interrupted him. “They basically said that all officers here at Central were incompetent and they’d find one elsewhere.” 

Roy snorted a laugh knowing that they’d find some other favored officer on the field. 

“You know as well as I do that it was just theoretical questions. So why didn’t you just answer yes, you would have sent your troops in as ordered?”

Roy put his elbows on his desk, running his hand through his hair as his head descended to the table. “Because I will not turn on my men. As an officer, I’m supposed to protect them and lead them faithfully.” 

Fairbanks nodded as he leaned against the doorframe. “Well, just so you know, General Raven was impressed by your little stunt. He said your conscience was something to be admired.” 

Roy looked up from his hands. 

“General Klemin wants your head on a spike…” 

Roy groaned burying his head back in his hands. 

“Basically, I have sorted it to a disciplinary infraction, even if it was just a simulation. Lucky for you, I get to decide what to do with you.” 

Roy looked up from his hands again, pleading for his commanding officer to take pity on him. After all, he liked him, and he thought he was a good officer, he’d do right by Roy wouldn’t he? 

“You get to do PT with the graduates every morning for a month.” 

“What?” Roy jumped up, eyes wide. “That’s-” 

“If you can’t follow orders, you will learn to give them.” 

“I have to be here at 0400 hours sir!” 

“Better not be late either,” he chuckled. 

It was better than other things that could have happened. He could have lost a rank, lost his teaching program, sent somewhere else. For all he knew, Klemin would have him scrubbing toilets for the year. In this case, at least it was only a month and a mark on his record. 

Roy signed the papers he needed to, and grabbed his shit to go home for the night. He’d be up at four in the morning to do Saturday PT with the Privates. He groaned as he shut his office door. “It’s only a month,” he pouted. “But it’s going to be a long freaking month.” 

* * *

Roy opened the door to see Riza in her sweats with a cup of tea in her hands and leaning over the counter looking at her textbook. 

“Greetings,” she smiled. “I figured we’d make dinner together.” 

He took his shoes off and nodded. “We can do that.” 

“You look tired! How’d the meeting go?” 

“Well!” Roy dropped his bag and shoved his hands in his pockets. She looked beautiful. She looked so stunning even in the kitchen lights. Her head tilted to the side as she looked curiously at him. Her hair was down, folded over her shoulder, and a crooked soft smile that his lips wanted to dance carefully with. His fingers reached out, plucking the tea from her hands and placing the mug on the counter before grabbing her worn t-shirt and pulling her towards him. His nose rubbed affectionately against hers as he whispered, “It was a pain in my ass.” 

She giggled lightly before their lips tenderly sealed together, his breath locked in his chest and his body set ablaze. The day’s events were washed from him as her heavenly hands cupped his face. She pulled from him first, running her hand through his hair. “Seems it was pretty rough huh?” 

He had forgotten what they were even talking about. He grinned kissing her again, leaning more into it. His hands gripped her hips tighter as he pulled her into him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he felt her kiss as she pulled from him. “I love you,” he breathed. 

“I love you too.” 

He felt her finger weave through his hair, tugging on the ends, twirling them in her fingers. “You can tell me all about it.” 

“Well,” Roy said firmly and he stepped from her. He rounded the counter and opened the fridge for a beer. “The meeting didn’t go as planned, nor how I wanted it to go.” 

“There were two outcomes?” Riza shut her book and grasped her tea again. 

“Yeah. One was I got the position and the other was that I stayed in Central.” 

“I suppose,” she agreed, her lips on the cup. Roy stared at them, thinking about her lips elsewhere. “But how can you want both outcomes if it’s one or the other? When you left here, I thought it was that you were going to do your best.” 

“Doesn’t mean that I wanted to go to the front for any reason.” 

She shrugged it off, taking another drink of her tea. 

“There’s this guy named Solf,” he started, popping the pop of the beer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for everyone's infomation.... all the towns are real towns in Amestris. I spent too much time studying a map of Amestris while I was trying to work on how I wanted the tactics to go. Disclaimer: I'm not, nor have I been, in the military. I'm literally pulling this shit out of my ass. So forgive me. But, what did everyone think about our favorite villain? Heh... I did think about them taking Roy South. OH THE IDEAS. In fact, Rando and I had originally thought that way. But we decided for the sake of a short story, we'd go this route. I hope all of you did enjoy it. Don't worry, there is still story to go. Have a great day, and stay safe.


	20. Mount Brice Hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza plans the perfect rip only for it to have a major hiccup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Rando! You rock!

The sun filtered into the room, softly awakening it with the day. It was early and one would have guessed the two people in the room would be soaking in the morning sun as they woke late in the weekend. But, they were awake with two cups of cooled coffee, one on the dresser and the other on a nightstand. The suitcases on the bed were argued for a moment before one was put away. The room wasn’t as quiet as it was outside with the morning chirps of the robins; nor was it as sweet and beautiful as the rich flowerbed that was planted outside by their steps. The cool morning breeze swayed them gently, fooling the world of how calm in the apartment was. 

“You need to pack a nice shirt,” she called over her shoulder. 

“That is a nice shirt.” 

“No, Roy. A nice shirt. We’re going to go have a nice dinner.” 

“I think we should just order pizza and stay in,” he muttered a quick comeback, raising a suggestive eyebrow at her. 

Riza would have readily agreed to his idea, but she was stressed with the unpacked luggage on such short notice. “We should have done this last night.” 

Roy, still in his pajama pants without a shirt on, leaned against the dresser. “Are you saying we should have packed instead?” 

Her heart jumped into her throat. “No,” she smirked. “But we could have before.” 

He grabbed the cup of coffee on the dresser and sipped it with a look of great satisfaction. He gave her a sideways grin and raised his cup to her. “You’re very welcome.” 

She rolled her eyes, giggling at his little comment. “Well, the sooner we head out, the sooner we can resume our little…” 

“Joy ride?”

“Roy!” She turned and put her hand on him. “Find a nice shirt and a pair of slacks!” She turned to grab three pairs of socks as a shirt hit her in the face. It was a nicer shirt, she would admit. “It would take us twenty minutes to pack if you’d just focus,” she snorted, folding the shirt and turning to put it nicely into the suitcase. She wanted to tell him how ridiculous he was being, but truth be told, she enjoyed his playful demeanor. “I need socks and underwear too.” 

“You’re needy,” he joked. He reached into his drawer and pulled out three pairs of random boxers and tossed them to her. 

They unraveled, landing in the suitcase. Riza could only look up at him annoyed, reaching over to fold them and place them nicely. She was lucky he was not tossing the suitcase aside and pulling her on the bed. He was in an entirely too good of a mood, especially for how long they had been awake. “I get an extra-long weekend and you’re going to spend more time tossing clothes at me than in a hotel room eating pizza.” 

Roy tossed three sets of socks in the suitcase, which Riza quickly placed in a designated place, and strolled to her side of the bed. “Three nights, just you and me, and no stress.” Riza stood up and turned, running into his chest. His hands reached down and around her waist as he pulled her into him. She looked up, seeing his mischievous grin. Their noses brushed as he leaned down, whispering on her lips, “I’m going to turn my cell phone off, we’re going to stay in bed naked all day, and only order room service.” 

“That sounds amazing,” she admitted, tilting her head up so their lips could brush. 

“See, no nice shirt needed.” 

Riza leaned her head back to laugh at his plan. “I made plans to go to Regino’s already. You’ll like them!” She let her hands reach up and around his neck, combing through his hair as she peered into his dark eyes. “We only have to leave the room for this dinner and our spa appointment.” She whispered to him as if negotiating his desires with her own. 

Roy groaned loudly as he pulled from her, his head rolling back. “The spa!” 

Riza laughed as she reached for a shirt and went back to packing the bag. 

“Seriously?” He walked over and picked up his coffee. It was a big act, a dramatic performance per Roy. “I don’t just want some lady’s fingers all over me!” 

She raised her eyebrow. “You agreed to do one thing with me, and I agreed to do one thing with you,” Riza reminded. She started towards the door, readying to pack the bathroom necessities. “I agreed to have sex with you and mine is to go to the spa.” The living room was active with the TV on and the blinds open. The coffee pot was still on, keeping the second serving for the two of them warm. A pile of dishes from breakfast sat in the sink. His work bag sat by the door, open were a few things out of it. The blanket that usually sat over the end of the armrest of the couch was hanging off of it from their cuddles the night before. To put it simply to Riza, it was lived in. 

“That’s playing dirty,” she heard him pout behind her. He followed her into the living room to refill his cup. “And you got us reservations at the Royal Resort?”

“Yeah,” she called from the bathroom. “We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry.” 

“Just because check-in is a four doesn’t mean that we have to be there at four.” 

“Roy!” Riza poked her head from the bathroom. “If we leave in an hour we will be there at nine!” 

“It’s a seven-hour drive,” he waved her worries off, adding more creamer to his coffee. “We’ll be there at six.” 

She came from the bathroom with a few things. “We still need to do dishes and make the bed and-” 

“Riza,” he cut her off. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll start the dishes now.” 

As she entered the bedroom again she called back to him. “I’d like the whole place clean so that we don’t have to worry about it when we get back.” 

He didn’t say anything else as she started packing the rest of the bag. They were going to be gone two nights, three days, and she couldn’t be more excited. It’d be an impromptu decision after she found out that she had an extra-long weekend. Roy sat back, handed her the card, and told her to go ahead and book it. It was all planned. They were going to drive to East City, which they could have taken the train but he insisted on driving to save time. The Royal Resort was one of three of the nicer hotels in the city, if not the best. It had a tennis court, next to a 9-hole golf course, a full spa attached, as well as a large swimming pool, two hot tubs, and saunas. Their five-star restaurant was on the top of their highest tower, giving both a countryside view and a city view as it sat on the outskirts of the city. On Sundays, they served a brunch with the title of the best mimosa in Amestris. There was no way that she was going to pass that up. Riza was certain Roy would like it since it had twenty-four-hour room service and a list of 100 bourbon and whiskey options. It was a bit expensive, she’d admit, especially since Roy didn’t want to leave the room. However, Riza wanted to get out and do something fun. She’d go down and listen to some music, or maybe take a walk around the golf course. There was a river running South of the hotel that she could explore. Most of all, it was quiet. It’d be most relaxing to go out on the back deck with a glass of red wine and watch the stars above. She had this all planned out. He could stay in the room, but she was going to get out at least once during their trip. 

_ We should have booked three nights,  _ she thought, disappointed. Truth was, if it was three hours into packing and they still weren’t done, they would have not been able to get off work, pack, and make it there before midnight.  _ Maybe we can both call into work and take an extra day… _ She pressed everything down, making sure that it was steady before shutting the top and zipping it. Next, she needed to make sure her backpack and laptop were packed, and anything else that was going to be needed for the trip. They were almost out of there. “I’ll make the bed,” she said to herself, determined to be out of there on time. It wasn’t really  _ on time  _ as it was actually two hours later than originally planned, but it was on time that it was still before noon. Riza would settle for that. She toted the bag to the living room seeing the dishes still piled in the sink. Roy stood in front of the TV, looking over his shoulder. 

“This shit is funny,” he chuckled as he pointed to the TV. “Look at this guy getting chased by chickens!”

“Roy!” She grumbled as she rubbed her face. 

“I’ll get to it,” he said defensively, turning off the TV. 

“We’re trying to get out of here!” She put the bag by the door, turning to grasp her backpack. “The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can get there, the sooner we can jump in bed and stay up all night having crazy and wild sex.” 

Roy lifted his head with a grin. “Well then, I’ll get right on that!” 

Riza watched as he dashed over to the dishes and turned on the faucet. The living room still needed to be picked up. She could feel the stress in her shoulders growing up her neck. She didn’t want to be driving in the dark and she wanted to be there in time for dinner. She fluffed the pillow and set them in place. Was it so hard to ask for something so simple as that? The blanket was folded and hung over the back of the couch.  _ God help Roy if the dishes aren’t done.  _

Roy was slipping the last dish before the silverware in the dishwasher. He grabbed the luggage, looking over his shoulder at her. “Are you ready,” he asked as he opened the door. 

She nodded. “Let’s go.” 

* * *

The drive was fine. It wasn’t anything too spectacular. They’d both been to East City. Roy had gone to college and obtained his degree there. It wasn’t as big as Central but the desert area sometimes held a certain peace for people. East City was laid back with a few nice hotels and two resorts. The people were genuine, kind, and peaceful. They were city country folk who would offer you a cool beer before they introduced themselves. They both knew the smaller towns around the city were the same but held little hotels to East City’s standards, even less to Central. However, it was a good getaway that wasn’t in the cool North or the hot South. 

“I’m so excited to get in a tub,” Riza grinned as they pulled into the city limits. 

“It feels like I’m going home in a sense.” Roy held one hand on the steering wheel while the other rested on her thigh. “It’s been so long since we’ve been here.” 

“I wasn’t here very often,” Riza said softly. “I remember it being bigger.” She looked out the window at the people walking down the street, busy with the lights of restaurants and bars. 

Roy pointed up a road. “Over there is the University.” 

She strained to look, seeing a few buildings, but nothing noticeable. 

“We used to come down here and hang out at Dave’s.” He pointed to a restaurant on the corner. “They had unlimited fries on Fridays,” he chuckled. “We’d go get fries and study.” 

“Did you really study?” Riza raised her eyebrow at Roy who was openly laughing. 

“That’s for me and my study book to know.” 

Just as the website advertised, the resort was large and luscious. With three towers of rooms looming over the parking lot and walkways leading to other areas. The main building had a tall overhang which they pulled under, two men coming right out to open their doors for them. “You outdid yourself,” Riza raised her eyebrow at Roy. 

“I’m not going to look at my credit card bill for a few months.” 

“It wasn’t  _ that  _ bad.” Truth be told, the room they got wasn’t anything special. It was one of the more affordable rooms in the smaller tower. 

“For staying in the room all day it is.” He handed his keys to the valet. Roy insisted on carrying his own bag though. 

The lobby was huge. There was a station of complimentary water, deep leather seats and enough recessed lighting that made it feel like it was daytime. The big windows were nearly floor to ceiling and Riza looked out to see the outside pool with kids playing in it even at seven-thirty in the evening. “It’s under your name,” she muttered to Roy as he approached the desk. She wandered close to the window, brushing her bangs out of her face, looking to the side to see an outside fire area. There were a few kids making smores and a few adults sitting by it with what looked like mixed drinks. On the other side of the pool, she saw a line of golf carts all locked up. This was probably the fanciest place she was ever going to stay in. Maybe they should have stayed in town and saved the money. Roy was making enough, and she knew that it’d be okay, but she’d never imagined she’d ever see anything like this. 

“Hey Riza,” Roy called from the counter. 

She looked over towards him before walking over. 

“They can’t find the reservation. Do you have a confirmation number?”

She pulled up her phone and looked through it, searching for the confirmation email. 

“Is it under Riza Mustang?” Roy leaned on the counter, grinning at her. 

She gave him a short shove before handing him her phone. “Here. The Royal Resort.” 

He took the phone, inspecting the information before handing it to the agent. They both waited, Riza still taking in the wide room and the bellmen who ran back and forth. 

“I’m so sorry,” the agent apologized. “It looks like we have messed up on our end. We don’t have your reservation in the computer.” 

“Can you just add us in?” 

Riza looked up to see her boyfriend leaning on the counter, paying more attention than she was. He frowned, the lines in his forehead forming out of frustration. 

“I’m sorry, we are completely committed tonight and tomorrow.” 

“Is there anything you can do,” Roy insisted. 

“It looks like you weren’t charged yet.” 

Riza turned and stood by Roy, noticing the situation was getting serious. 

“I can offer you credit with us for next time, but we are unable to accommodate you.” 

He sighed loudly through his nose. She could see that he wanted to argue the fact, insist that they were accommodated. Maybe he’d even insist on seeing the manager. The energy around him grew tense and she could see his posture grow rigid. 

“I can also offer a credit this weekend to go golfing,” she continued to offer. 

“We don’t golf,” Riza said, quietly upset. 

Roy shrugged, earning some respect as he wasn’t going to argue the fact. “Is there anywhere in town that you recommend?” 

“I can check around and see where there is availability.” She disappeared around the corner. 

“This pisses me off,” he growled lowly. He ran his hand through his hair. Riza smelled his shampoo and his aftershave. It made her want to stand closer to him. Still, great disappointment lingered in her stomach. He turned to her and looked around. “You really outdid yourself here.” He gave her a short smile, looked down at her from the side. He was handsome, even if he wore heavy on the stress. He was supposed to get a haircut but postponed it because he wanted to get home sooner. That left his hair dangling over his eyes, swaying side to side as he looked around. She could hear the clicking of the watch in his pocket, tinkering with it to ward off the oppressive stressors that threatened their trip. “It doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “I mean, wherever we go, I’ll be happy.” 

“I had dinner booked,” she groaned, rubbing her forehead. 

“We can come back. It’s not like we still can’t enjoy ourselves.” 

She nodded slowly. He was right. Honestly, she didn’t want to go back if they were going to lose their reservation. Riza was starting to doubt the dinner reservation was there. 

“Or we will make reservations in town. There’s this jazz place called Azure. We can make reservations there. It’s not bad.” Riza could tell he was trying his best to make the situation better, even if she could see him about grinding his teeth in frustration. She took a moment instead to see his t-shirt hanging softly off him, hiding the form under it. His shoulders were the only hint to him being a solid man. He was wearing simple sneakers and a pair of pants that held his ass just right that it was her turn to walk behind him and stare. “I know there’s a spa or two in town too. We are not limited to this.” He waved his hand around the open area. “And you know that this trip isn’t about acting fancy and high class anyway. It’s supposed to be about us.” He snorted, leaning on the counter with both arms.

He was right. But it wasn’t about playing fancy, it was about relaxing and pretending the world didn’t matter anymore.  _ I can do that anywhere,  _ she reminded herself harshly.  _ If you want to drink wine and sit outside, there are other places where you can enjoy that.  _ She wasn’t using all of the amenities of the resort anyway. It’d be different if they did have a golf game, a tennis match, or had plans to go spend too many cenz for a small bowl of pasta and soup. 

“It looks like most of the town is booked up,” the lady said as she came back into view. “There are a few places on the Western side and in the university district.” She handed Roy a map and circled a few areas. “If you’re looking for something of our quality, I recommend Mount Brice in the downtown district. It’s an older hotel, but the one of the finer.” 

“And they had availability?”

She nodded. “They have an in-house restaurant which I would recommend in town, and it’s close to some other amenities. They have more information at the desk.” 

“Would you book it for us,” Riza asked as she joined Roy in leaning against the desk. 

“We at the front desk, do not book rooms or activities. And our concierge is out for the rest of the day. Here is their number though.” She circled a number at the bottom of the map. “I’m sorry again. Is there a number I can take so that we can reach you to make up for this mistake on our end?” 

Riza was taken aback by how friendly and sincerely apologetic she was. Roy nodded, giving her his number. “Come on, Babe. Let's get our car and head back into town.” 

She slouched in the car, defeated with everything she planned was turned upside down. She felt robbed of an experience that she had looked forward to. “It’s been so hard. We have barely had time together lately and I was really hoping to just treat ourselves. Just you and me and just a nice memorable experience.” 

Roy nodded as he turned a corner. “I know,” replied softly. “But all isn’t lost. Keep looking on the bright side! We still have each other.” He smiled reassuringly. “Really, Riza, we can still do everything you want to do, not staying there will not hinder our fun.” 

“I was looking forward to waking up with the view of the countryside.” 

“Riza,” he dropped his hand on her thigh. She looked down at it as he gave a reassuring squeeze. “We could be sleeping in the car and as long as it was with you, I’d be happy.” 

He was right. And she felt awful for putting their minivacation in that kind of context. Maybe she was being a little selfish in some aspects. 

“We can go to this nice place downtown, see what they have, and go from there, okay?” 

Riza nodded looking out the window. It was now well after eight, and she was tired. Anxiety built in her chest as she thought about the next place they were going to, Mount Brice. It was a nice hotel. She’d looked at it when deciding where to stay. It was named after the mountain that loomed in the distance south of the city, and the building itself loomed over downtown. She’d been interested in it but the idea of it being downtown overwhelmed her. She didn’t want to deal with traffic. And although Roy was selling her on the idea of walking everywhere, she was buying more and more into the original idea of staying in the room the whole time. It, however, did not have twenty-four-hour room service. There was no dessert at three in the morning. 

He elbowed her as he got out of the car. “Come on,” he called. 

Inside the lobby was smaller, older. She could tell that it’d been renovated a few years ago with the golden paneling and the polished marble floor. The ceiling was a wood panel, low unlike the wide and high ceiling of the Royal. The counter was short, in length, only allowing for maybe three agents. She looked around, staying close enough to hear Roy and the agent, but admiring a painting of Mount Brice. 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Mustang.” 

“What rooms do you have available tonight for two nights?” 

The agent smiled and clicked away happily on her computer. She could hear him tapping a pen on the marble counter as she turned to see an enlarged article on the man who first climbed it. “It looks like we just have a few rooms available. We do have a large convention tonight and tomorrow so for two nights we are limited in rooms.” 

“Riza,” he called to her. 

She brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear and made her way back towards him. The cool air of an air conditioner blew over her as she stood next to Roy. 

“We have a suite on the top floor. It’s going to have a jacuzzi tub and living room with a minibar and large TV.” The nice lady continued to type on her computer, her eyes scanning the screen. “We also have a suite on the tenth floor. It doesn't have a living room but it will come with the tub and it looks like this one overlooks the downtown strip.” Riza looked at Roy who smiled back at her. He was amazingly calm considering. It was as if he was determined to make this up to her, he was going to fix all the problems. She wished he could. But two suites on the upper floors was more than what she was going to spend at the Royal. “And it looks like we have a bridal suite on the top floor with a bottle of champagne, a large living area, and a tub overlooking the mountain. I will have to tell you, it looks like we will have a clear morning. It’s likely that we will have a beautiful sunrise with the mountain if you’re on the upper floors.” 

She could see it before she could stop it. “How much is that one?” Of course. Of course, he’d go for the bridal suite. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been trying to marry her this whole time. Next, he’d tell her that they were newlyweds on their way to their honeymoon in Xing. Of course, as she announced the price, Riza had to hold onto the counter to stay up. 

“It’s going to be 25,000 cenz for the two nights.” 

What was worse was she could see Roy debating it. The little smile of surprise lingered too long. 

“How much for the other suites?” Riza jumped in before Roy had a chance to put her down as Mrs. Mustang. 

“The suite on the top floor would be 8,000 Cenz for both nights and the one on the tenth floor will be…. 6,500 cenz for both nights.” 

It was still too much. “There’s nothing else you have?” 

She typed away for another moment before frowning. “It looks like we have a normal room on the upper floors for 4,900 for both nights.” 

That was more like what she was paying at the Royal. 

“Is it a special occasion?” She looked at the two of them with an excited smile. 

Roy opened his mouth but Riza quickly intervened. “We’re just getting away.” 

He turned and frowned. “Oh, hun. You’re so humble.” He turned to the agent with a smile. “It’s just short of our anniversary and we wanted to sneak away.” 

“How wonderful,” she grinned behind the counter. 

Riza dropped her head onto the counter. He wasn’t lying. But they didn’t need to get any special treatment because of it. 

“If you book one of the suites, I have a special for twenty percent off the spa we just installed. I also will call the kitchen and have champagne and some chocolates brought to your room. And…” She bent down below the counter. As she stood, she put a lotion and bath salts on the counter. “Here are some complimentary bath salts and luxury lotions from us to you regardless if you get a room or not. Happy Anniversary.” 

_ That is a selling tactic,  _ Riza stared at the offer. They just didn’t have that kind of money. “Roy, we can go somewhere else.” She put her hand on his arm and sighed. It was more than what she had expected. They could go down the road and get something cheaper if he wanted. They could save money and go to a nicer dinner. 

Roy turned with a wide smile and handed her the card. “We will take the suite on floor ten please.” 

Riza about fell over. The one at the Royal was a splurge, this was over what she could ever dream of. And for what? A view?” 

“I want the bottle of champagne,” he snickered as he looked at her. 

“Roy,” she hissed. “A bottle of champagne is cheap to get.” 

“It’s our anniversary,” he whispered roughly back. 

“Okay,” the agent interrupted. “I just need an ID. And Mr. Mustang, will you need help with your luggage?” 

He’d probably say yes to that too, just to suck up the fanciness. The man was eccentric sometimes. “No, we have it,” he assured. 

Keys were given and they turned to go up the elevators. “What the fuck were you thinking,” she whispered as they walked in. “We don’t have that kind of money!” 

“Oh? And we weren’t going to spend this much at the Royal? I’m not worried about it, and neither should you.” 

“Roy!” 

The doors shut, leaving them alone in the elevator. “It’s my card,” he insisted. “I’m the one that pays for it.” 

Riza felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest the rate it was pounding. 

“Plus,” he showed her the bath salts. “I’d like to have a big jacuzzi for us.” 

She wasn’t sure how to feel about it. No one would, could ever spend that kind of money on an impromptu trip like this one. She instead blushed, unable to come up with anything to say, as she watched the numbers on the screen increase. 

“We should be making out,” he chuckled. 

She looked over to him, seeing the mischievous glint. 

“You know, making out in an elevator.” 

“You wouldn’t dare,” she dared. 

Before he could make a move the elevator dinged and the doors opened. “I don’t have to,” Roy laughed, letting his head fall back as he did so. “We have a whole room to ourselves.” 

Riza followed him with a smirk on her face. If this was what he wanted, there wasn’t much she could do.

“Relax,” he said as he unlocked the door. “Don’t stress out. This was supposed to be about relaxing after all.” 

Riza walked into the room, inspecting it as if it was her first time in a hotel room. She looked at the walls, peered into the bathroom, and looked out the window. The view was breathtaking. She could see the straight line of the road, the business’s lights bordering it, and cars driving to and fro. The lights glittered in the dark, sparkling in her eyes. It was mesmerizing. The little people below walked down the sidewalk, some in groups, some as themselves, but only proving that East City’s nightlife was full and fruitful. Just as she was readying to turn around, two strong arms wrapped around her waist. His chin rested easily on her shoulder, his breath over her ear. Her back sunk into his chest, and her whole body relaxed. Maybe their first room was lost in the reservation black hole, and their second room was too expensive, but nothing did matter than the two of them. She needed to stop stressing and just relax. 

She turned to face him, seeing him give her a crooked smile back at her. Their noses brushed and he snickered. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to her. 

“You’re quite handsome.” She ran her hands up and down his chest. “We’re just going to have to make the best of this room.” She pushed lightly, watching him stumble back with a knowing grin on his face. He landed on the bed, grabbing her shirt as she stepped forward. There was a lustful glint in his eye, wanting her. Riza loved it. She loved that he wanted her. She loved the way he looked at her, the way his fingers pulled her to him, or the way he groaned when their bodies touched. It only fueled the fire in her groin. She kneeled over him, a knee on either side so she could straddle him. Roy didn’t move... And his excitement was easy to notice. She rolled her hips against it, letting herself slide back down. 

Roy groaned loudly. “If only you were wearing a skirt,” he groaned. His finger slipped easily under her shirt and glided up her sides. As they came back down, they tugged at her waistband. “I’ll make you a bet.”

She tilted her head, wrapped her hand around his head to brush the hair on the back of his head and down his neck. “Oh, it’s easy to get you to come first. That’s not a fair bet for you.” 

He laughed nervously, grabbing her ass and pulling her towards him. His chin rested against her breasts as his dark eyes looked up at her brown. “Whoever gets undressed first gets to be on top.” 

Riza didn’t move as she pulled her shirt up and over her head slowly. His fingers followed the exposed skin and he moaned again. Lips followed his hands and she gasped as it tickled. She had the control to pull on his hair and pull his head from her but she chose not to. She let his lips tickle her skin as they pecked their way up her sides, over to breasts where his fingers pulled at her bra. It was magical how he knew how to touch her. She let her head fall back with a light laugh, one of his hands holding her back so she couldn’t fall from him. 

“You’re cheating,” he said into her breasts. “That’s not fair.” 

Riza’s hand fell from his neck, her fingers draping down his shirt to their pants. She flicked his button, as if teasing it to open, but instead she unbuttoned her own, slipping the zipper down slowly. She knew he was watching. She heard him stop breathing. It was worth noting the twitch that she felt against her thigh too. “Do you want me to stop cheating?” 

Roy shook his head, moaning. He thrust up, playing with her. “But you’re going to have to get up to take those pants off.” 

“It’s too bad you’re not wearing a button-up shirt,” Riza lamented. 

“Yes it is,” he breathed. His breath was starting to pick up, his chest rising and falling more frequently. A pink hue had grown on his cheeks and her body grew edgy with anticipation. 

“I have a game instead,” she offered. With a snap behind her, her bra was flung aside, leaving her chest bare. Roy grinned, keeping his eyes on hers. Her hands moved his from her thighs to her breasts. “You can’t let go,” she snickered. 

“I like this game,” he chuckled. 

Riza stood up, sliding her pants down. The large bulge in his pants beckoned to be released. As her pants were freed from her, she took a moment to run a finger up it. 

“Come on,” he encouraged. “I promise you’ll like it.”

Instead, she mounted him again, pressing against him as her lips met his. His hands dropped to her hips once more, grasping them tightly as he raised his to grind himself against her. It was her turn to moan. “Yeah,” she gasped. Their hips grinding against each other as slowly her breaths became gasps. Before she could stop it, Roy stood, holding her by her ass as he turned around. He dropped her on the bed and stood over her with a heavy breath. Riza had to laugh. “Oh no,” she giggled, pointing at him. “I beat you. Fair game after all.” 

“I have to get my pants off,” he clarified. “Then you can ride me all you want.” Riza raised her eyebrows and he played a little dance for her, sliding his pants off his hips. The best part of him was that he was so playful. He always had been. The smirk he wore now was no different when he was a kid and off to cause mischief. He tossed his pants aside, doing the same with his boxers. Holding his dick in his hands, he showed it to her, pumping it slowly. “I told you you’d like it,” he grinned. 

“What I don’t like is that you are there, and I am here,” she said firmly, pointing to herself. 

Roy pulled his shirt off, throwing it in the direction of his pants, and jumped on the bed next to her. “You’re not going to let me play at all with you,” he pouted. She felt his fingers glide down her body to slip under her underwear. 

“Be quick about it,” she teased. 

“No way,” came a quick counter. “I’m taking my time.”

His finger rubbed circles on her clit, flicking it a few times. Riza’s toes curled and she reached out to hold onto him. His free hand was quick to grab one on hers, tangling their fingers together and pulling them above her head. Their bodies grew closer so that she could feel him pulse against the outside of her thigh and into her hip. Her other hand reached up to brush her bangs from her face as she let out a soft moan. It slid further down, enticing her soft warm juices to come play. They eagerly did. Within a minute, his fingers slipped into her and Riza felt herself contract around his finger. Both of them moaned together and Riza’s heart pounded against her chest. It slipped in and out, reaching in and pressing against her walls. It was magical. Her body grew tight and she moaned his name. She closed her eyes and felt his lips suck on the tops of her breast, his fingers sliding in and out of her. He called to her, insisting that she relax, but then he’d hit a certain love spot inside her, and her body would crumble again. The pleasure was a static charge that waved throughout each cell. And all Riza could think of what pleasure would bestow upon her when she finally got him into her. 

She tried to roll on top of him, but Roy held firm, his thumb rubbing her clit as his finger, which was now finger _ s _ , reached deep within her. “You’re playing dirty,” she gasped. Her back arched and her legs widened to let him get a better angle. 

“You should stop resisting,” he encouraged. 

“Now you’re playing really dirty.” She snickered. “Go get a condom.” She pushed on his chest, watching him roll away from her and run to the bag. She got up, feeling the drip down her leg. He fished through the bag before holding one up like a golden trophy and ran back to her. She pushed him back onto the bed playfully, taking the condom from him. The grin on his face said it all. Roy leaned back on his hands, looking down at her. Her eyes met his as she squatted in front of him, licking up from the base to his tip. Roy fell onto his back with a loud moan. She then held the tip of the condom, slipping it slowly down his shaft. 

“Careful,” he warned. 

She wasn’t too worried about it. He hadn’t grabbed her hand yet. Instead, they covered his face as he moaned loudly. It was her turn to tease him, running the back of her nails up his legs to his waist, across his stomach and abs, to his chest. In an easy slip, her underwear was off and she threw it somewhere behind her. She felt him slip against her, right between her folds. He was hard, pulsing with hunger. Leaning back on his elbows, biting his bottom lip, he hissed with pleasure. It was driving him insane watching her breasts come towards him like that, Riza was sure. He popped up, waiting eagerly at her entrance. Roy sat up, causing Riza to sit back, sliding him into her rather quickly. His hands grabbed her hips as she gasped and reached for his sides. She wanted to roll her hips, to move, to something! But they were both frozen at the moment of entry. Her fingers dug into his sides while she was sure he was almost bruising her legs. But  _ God  _ he fit so well. Like a lock and key, they fit. He began lifting his hips upwards, thrusting up into her. Her body tightened, tightening herself around him as he entered her. Every time it was stronger than the next. Finally, Riza rolled her hips back, letting him get just a bit deeper. It must have been a soft spot for Roy because he groaned deeply, almost growl-like and fell back. Hands back on his face he groaned again.  _ This was a sweet spot for him, _ she thought. Again she rolled back, her hands reaching back to his legs. 

“Riza,” he coughed out. “Fuck.” 

It wasn’t like it wasn’t good for her either. Her whole body felt red as it flushed and she could feel her own excitement as she contracted around him. She could feel him pulsing inside her, feel his arousal maximize. As her hips drove him deeper, then pulling from him, rolling over his dick like waves, she had to wonder how such pleasure hadn’t broken over her yet. It was on the border of heavenly release, and she held there with him. It was like he couldn’t figure out where to put his hands, which was a common problem for her. They were up over his face, then to her knees, then through his hair. His mouth moved as if he needed to beg her to stop but he was unable to form words. The only sound she could emit was a high pitch whine of pleasure, begging for more of the euphoric high that he bestowed upon her. This was how Riza knew they were supposed to be together. This was one of the great signs if she ever needed one. The look on both their faces were the same, their hearts were beating erratically in their chests, their abs contracted, and their breaths damn near synchronized. She felt her chest rise as she saw his rise. Her exhale was heavy while his chest nearly collapsed. They seemed to freeze right before too. He’d bite his lip, thrusting as deep as he could in her, his face scrunched as he moaned deep within his chest. Her mouth would open, gasping for air, her fingers clenching anything nearby. Then it would hit her like a bomb. The energy would surge through her, lightning through her nerves as her whole body tightened. Roy would freeze at first, maybe from the initial shock, but then his pace would keep up as his natural instinct to breathe returned to him. He coughed, growling her name, as she called out to him. His hands pressed her hips to keep her as far back, while his hips lifted to get as deep as he could. He was doing a series of crunches that would leave him whining later. She didn't want it to end either. It was rich and organic, raw and pure. But once Roy was done, he'd do his best to keep up but would fall back to his back and say her name. 

Riza didn't move off him, not yet. She leaned over, holding herself up by his abs, trying to breathe through what she thought was a sea of crashing waves on sharp rocks, with each crash a violent and powerful shock that would leave her gasping for oxygen. Her body craved it. She needed more of it, wanted it not to stop. The slow row of her hips, muscle memory for just minutes ago, still trying to achieve another break over the rocks of pleasure and thrill. Yet, it had little immediate energy for dashing and sprinting movements. "Fuck, Roy." 

"You already did," he breathed loudly. "Give me twenty minutes and you can fuck Roy again." 

She laughed at his simple humor. She slid off of him, landing beside him, laying on her back as well. "You're amazing." 

He chuckled. "Not without you." Roy turned his head, smiling at her. She could see his whole body relaxed, limp, without an ounce of stress. The moment was for the two of them, just as they were. He leaned over and kissed her temple. "I love you, so damn much." 

Riza smirked. Maybe it was something one would expect to say after intercourse, but Roy said it perfectly. His voice dry, deep, and quiet as he whispered the truth to her. He loved her. Cultural norms or not, the routine and natural words meant the world to her. Her heart swelled with emotion as her head turned to meet his. His head, planted in his hand, balanced on his elbow, smiled back at her. She'd seen a range of emotion from his eyes, and there were emotions that she hoped she'd never see, but her favorite was just after sex when he looked so content with life. All he needed was next to him: her. "I love you," she repeated back, barely above a whisper. She meant it. Each word, each syllable, carried her heart and soul to him. 

He leaned forward, kissing his lips tenderly. His nose brushed hers affectionately, a light hum of satisfaction before he sat up and walked to the bathroom. “Killing my abs,” he complained. “You’re the best work out, you know that?”

She giggled where she laid, staring up at the generic popcorned white ceiling. Her body was relaxing, the tingling dissipating with the wiggling of her toes. “Glad I’m keeping you fit.” 

She heard rustling in the bathroom before he emerged again, stopping at the welcome book. He turned the pages, before saying, “Hey! We should get dessert.” She rolled over to look at the clock. “We have fifteen minutes,” he insisted. 

Riza sat up. “You’re going to be that person?”

“What do you want? Cheesecake? Creme Brulee? Chocolate cake?” He turned the page. “They have Tiramisu too.” 

She rolled off the bed, reaching down for her garments. 

“Hello, this is room 1056. We’d like a creme brulee, a raspberry chocolate cheesecake, a glass of Williamson’s Whiskey, and a glass of port.” 

Riza looked up and saw him on the phone. It was amusing to see him just standing naked with the phone to his ear and a hand on his hip. She didn’t move, neither did she know how long she stayed there. But, she was paralyzed, her legs refusing to move. After a while, she rolled onto her side, debating putting some pjs on, going to the bathroom to clean herself up. As Riza sat up, there were three sharp knocks on the door. “Room service!” 

“That was fast,” she looked at Roy, wide-eyed. 

“Hold on,” Roy called as he grabbed his pants. She watched as she hopped in one leg, stumbling into the table. “Hold on!” 

Instead, Riza calmly got up and walked to the bathroom and shut the door. 

“Ahk,” Roy cried out as he stumbled. “Hello,” he said calmly, opening the door. 

“Happy Anniversary,” the man greeted. “Have a wonderful night.” 

Roy closed the door and she heard him walk back into the suite. “It’s our champagne.” 

“You forgot about it didn’t you?” 

“Yeah.” 

Riza laughed. 

“So we have champagne and other drinks. It’s our vacation, we can do anything we want.” 

* * *

Riza woke to the sunny room and a heavy snore next to her. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, holding her securely to him. She looked up to see him completely passed out, even a dribble of droop seeping into the pillow. It was nice to take the moment to realize how wonderful it was right then. Collapsed in a pillowtop bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets, wrapped warmly in her boyfriend’s arms, she sighed. The room was a mess with dishes and glasses all over. The comforter had been tossed off in the playful wrestle they had climbing into bed. Her finger traced designs on his bare skin, letting herself wake up naturally and without rush. She did have to pee, but it wasn’t urgent. She could wait a bit longer to listen to him snore. 

Her finger drew a line from his sternum to his clavicle, running over the fragile bone. Zigzagging along the shoulder, it met his neck where it gently waved it’s way to his ear. He hadn’t twitched yet.  _ He must be really asleep, _ she chuckled to herself. Next, it followed his jaw to his chin. He stopped snoring and he sniffed loudly but did not open his eyes. Back down his throat, following his esophagus, feeling the ridges and his adam’s apple as her finger descended. She could feel the prickly hairs on his chin and down his neck because he didn’t shave the day before. Back to the sternum, it returned. 

“That tickles,” he whispered. 

Riza giggled, her nose rubbing the bottom of his chin. “I have to pee,” she whispered back. 

He chuckled lightly but didn’t move to let her go. He only tipped his lips down and kissed her forehead. “We should order room service breakfast and not leave bed.” 

“You’re lazy,” she snorted. “Maybe it would be nice to go see the town.” 

“I can see it from the window,” he murmured. With a loud groan and a stretch, Roy rolled from her. “I’d rather eat breakfast here with you. Then we can stay naked.” He exhaled loudly and rubbed his face. Rolling over, he looked at his phone. “It’s eleven. They stopped serving breakfast at eleven.” 

It was her turn to groan. 

“So we can order lunch in bed.” 

Riza got up and made her way, stiffly, to the bathroom. 

“We can eat fries in bed.” He started laughing. “I can draw a smiley face in ketchup on your back.” 

“Roy!” He was just being funny now. Or was he? She started the shower, pulling the curtain closed. She looked well-rested, which was something Riza hadn’t seen in herself for a while. And, still, sleep called to her. Her brown eyes were bright, awake, and smiled at her in the mirror. Her forehead had lost the worry lines. There was a sense of lightness to her, as if the stress had rolled off her shoulders. 

He poked his head into the bathroom. “Where would you like to go then? What are you in the mood for?” 

That was a better question. Sandwiches were always nice. But maybe there was a brunch option nearby. Roy rambled about the options, all within walking distance as he tested the water’s temperature. His hands held her hips and he stood behind her, kissing her temple. If the reflection from the mirror was a picture, she’d hold it close to her heart. In fact, she hoped to never forget just the two of them, naked, with her leaning back into his chest and a loving kiss to her head. Her hands rested on his as they took a moment to just breathe in the morning, together. 

The shower was another game entirely. She insisted on washing her hair and getting ready for the day, while Roy would have none of it. With his erection pressed against her thigh and a low moan of disappointment, Riza put soap in his hair and rubbed it into his scalp. At first, it was clear that he was not getting what he wanted, but after a few seconds, he melted into her fingers and tried not to purr. She liked to run her hands through his hair and slick it back with the soap. She’d pull it up, giving him limp spikes and then wave it down so that it was back to the mess it was before. 

She wasn’t getting out easy though. As soon as she let her guard down, he pinned her to the side of the shower, grasping her legs and he pulled her up. Their kisses were as heated as the water pelted their sides. At the rate they were going, she wasn’t going to eat until dinner. Out of the shower he carried her, almost slipping and still dripping, holding her to him with Riza’s legs around his waist as they went. They both fell onto the bed, their lips still pressing roughly against each other. She was sure they were going to bruise, the kisses were so desperate. She was more disappointed when he stood up, looking down at her with a grin. His hands gently spread her knees apart, and Riza grinned back. The only time their bodies parted was when he put the condom on. He stood at the end of the bed, pulling her towards him, as he entered her. Riza gasped at the depth that he filled. It was her turn to cover her face with her hands as she moaned loudly. At first, the thrusts were slow and soft, teasing her. But as he picked up the pace, the louder her moans got. “Roy,” she cried out, feeling him pull her to him. He arched his back to get as deep as he could, groaning as he did. “Fuck, Roy!” 

Fuck they did. 

He fell back against the wall, gasping as her legs collapsed down the side of the bed. “I think I need more condoms,” he breathed roughly. 

“I need food,” she added, wishing there was an oxygen machine nearby to soothe the pain in her lungs. 

“I will get you food,” he promised. 

She couldn’t see him. She was back to staring at the ceiling, wondering if her crotch was ever going to survive another round of that. 

“Just tell me what you want. I will find it and deliver it to you.” 

“The third item down on the lunch menu. Extra fries. And I’m not getting out of bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I'm so sorry for these long delays! I've just freed myself from my bachelor's degree so I'm free from school for a month or so. That gives me "some" time to get things done. I hope that you are enjoying the fluff and smut of these chapters. I've been in need of some serious Royai love. I feel like I've lost all rhyme and reason for this fic except for Royai. HAHA Not sure what is ever wrong with that... So, I hope that you have enjoyed it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. It means so much to me!!   
> Have a super day!


	21. 3rd time is a charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy finds out that Taylor is going back to her parents, and also finds Riza very supportive of him. She's everything he ever needed in life and isn't willing to let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:   
> There is talk of child abuse in this chapter. I have the fluff marked off. Just scroll past it to the dividing line. 
> 
> Thanks Rando! I appreciate your help!

Saturday mornings tended to be a bit chaotic. They were either rushing to catch up from the week before or hurrying to prepare for the week ahead. Riza was up with the sun, as she always was. Roy always strained to stay in bed. So when his eyes opened to see the sun filtering through their blinds, he instantly wondered how he had not been hassled to be awake already. The answer laid in his arms. Riza was curled up, her back to him, still asleep. There was either no reason to be up or she had forgotten an alarm. Either way, Roy gave thanks for the moment that was given to him. He rolled over, wrapping his arms around her. He was able to stay there, enjoying the peaceful listening of her breathing, her shifting as she sunk deeper into his chest and the light hum of happiness that followed. Roy could close his own eyes, let himself relax, and hold her to him. The quiet of the morning brought him back to sleep.

“Come on,” she yawned, finally stirring, her hand patting on top of his. “We should get up.” 

He groaned in response, burying his face against her, kissing her shoulder blade. He was warm, comfortable, and he had her. There was no other reason to get out of bed. 

“Roy,” she groaned with him. It almost sounded like she was arguing with herself in some aspect. 

“Riza,” he mumbled back. 

“We have a whole day ahead of us.” She rolled her hips against him, grinding against his pelvis as she arched her back. 

“That’s not how to get me out of bed,” Roy snickered. His hand slid down, grabbing her hip and pulling it flush against his groin. “I think you have yourself confused.” He already had an erection, she was only enticing it at this point. 

He felt her roll away from him and sit up. “I wanted to get laundry done.” She ran her hands through her hair, fluffing it as she sought out tangles. He watched as her back moved, flexing as she moved. Her hair was almost mid-length down her back. He never thought he’d see it that long. It moved and waved so fluidly and so silk-like. 

He rolled back, stretching his arms out and faced the ceiling. A loud groan later, Riza laughed. 

“Come on,” she patted his leg. “I’ll make waffles.” 

“You’re going to put all this crap on today,” he grumbled. “We should just stay in bed till noon. I’ll order a pizza and eat pepperoni off you.” 

He watched her roll her eyes but she didn’t stop smiling. With the light filtering through the blinds, she looked too angelic. Slowly she climbed back into bed, laying on her side with her head propped up by her hand. “I’m not asking for much. Hey, I’ll even let you stay in bed while I get laundry together. It’s going to be a lazy day, I promise.” Her spare hand doodled designs on his chest. “After the laundry is done, we will have time for other things.” 

“We have time for other things now,” he suggested, raising an eyebrow. Quickly he rolled over, mounting her as the two of them laughed. With hands-on either side of her shoulders, he lowered himself to rub noses with her. “And now I have you pinned.” 

“I can get out any time I want.” 

Feeling cocky, he laughed with a grin. 

Suddenly, her fingers attacked his sides and he fought off rolling to the side and laughing. “That … doesn’t…” It was too late. He tried his best to tickle her back, but she had the upper hand that morning. Roy rolled off, pulling her hands from him. In tight fists he held her hands, pulling them above their heads. “Lookie here, Missy.” 

“Roy,” she said gently. “You’re only torturing yourself here.”

This made him frown. “You’re torturing me. Just kiss me. One kiss.” 

She leaned forward, kissing his nose. 

“You’re mean.” He pouted. 

Her lips slipped against his as she teased him. He would have leaned forward, taking her for that kiss and everything it was worth, but he waited patiently. His body tensed with anticipation and his breath was lost somewhere else. Finally, her lips pressed against his and all he could do was moan with excitement. Of course, now he pressed back, letting her move to get on top of him. Smashing pecks as she mounted him, her legs on either side on his waist, her hands by his head. They took short breaths between, exhaling loudly as they whined for more. Finally, it stopped, her nose gently hoving over his. 

“Fuck,” he grunted. 

She stopped and sat up. 

“You’re not going to fuck me are you,” He breathed. “You’re just going to kiss me like that and then walk away.” 

“Well,” she grinned, rolling off him and off the bed. “Consider it a warm-up session.” 

“I will fucking help you with laundry if that’s what it takes,” he said firmly. He jumped up, picking her up by the waist. “Let’s get on with it. To the laundry room!” With a charge out the bedroom door, he carried her and her laughs out. 

The morning was exactly what he deserved. He stood behind her as she forked the waffles from the waffle maker, his head on her shoulder. Every so often, she’d feed him, tearing off a piece of waffle and handing it to him over her shoulder. He’d bite at it, nomming on it happily. He would have used his hands but they were stuck on her hips. Her hands gently buttered each waffle as she hummed a soft tune that he wished he recognized. The coffee was thick in the air but if he reached for his cup, he’d be letting go of her. Letting his right hand rise, his fingers tenderly slid down her arm till his hand rested on top of hers as she held the spatula. He wasn’t controlling her hand, but merely holding it from behind. 

“I love you,” he whispered gently in her ear.

“I love you too,” came her gentle reply, tilting her head to rest temple to temple against his. 

Before he could continue his breakfast seduction, Roy’s phone rang awake on the coffee table. 

“You better get that.” 

He snorted a laugh. “It can let it go to voicemail. I don’t want to let you go.” 

She tore off another piece of waffle and gave it to him with a giggle. The moment was too right, too sweet, too  _ them  _ to give it up. The last thing either needed was for his work to call and destroy it.  _ Granted, that’s happening less since the meeting,  _ he thought with amusement. Not only had it worked in his favor so he didn’t have to go to the front, but he wasn’t called to long meetings that kept him late. It was the first time that he was relieved that he wasn’t getting a promotion. 

Her hair smelled like the sweet hibiscus shampoo that she used and her skin felt soft under his fingers from the rich lotion she put on after a shower. “I wish you weren’t wearing any clothes,” he whispered into her shoulder. 

“I wish that you were getting out the syrup,” she replied with a giggle. 

The phone rang again and both of them looked at each other. 

“I think it may be important,” Riza said softly. “Maybe you should get it.” 

“And ruin this mood?” 

She waved the waffle paddle at the phone. “That’s ruining the mood. Go answer it.” She turned to swat him but Roy jumped away with a grin. 

“It’s Catherine,” he announced. The phone stopped ringing, but Roy kept it in his hand as he returned to the kitchen.

“I don’t want to do dinner with them.” Riza huffed and put the last waffle on the plate. “I know they do a lot for you, but I just wanted it to be us.” 

“I’m sure it’s not dinner.” He put the phone on the counter, reaching for a plate for himself. “I think they’ve had enough of me for a while. It’s not like we were ever really close prior to my accident.” 

“Is that what you’re calling this,” she asked as she poked him in the side. 

He grunted and chuckled at her. It was good to be playful for him. It reminded him that he was more than just a soldier but a young man who was living with his girlfriend in a sunny apartment and eating her waffles for breakfast. 

“Oh, Chris and you were close.” 

He nodded, pouring the syrup over his breakfast. “When I was younger, we were really close. I needed her like that. We kept in mild touch during service on the front, but she knew I was an adult and I think she started to just let me figure my life out on my own.” 

“Then why do they keep asking you to dinner?” Riza leaned against the counter, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. She took a bite of her breakfast and chewed it slowly as she waited for his answer. 

“They miss me?” He ran his hand through his hair. “I doubt it’s Aunt Chris. She was the happiest to see me go.” 

The phone came to life again and Roy grabbed it. “It’s Aunt Chris this time.” 

“Something is going on,” Riza muttered as he picked up the phone. 

“Hey,” he answered. 

“Roy,” Chris replied. “There are some things that are changing here and I wanted you to know so that you don’t feel so left out when it happens.” 

He looked at Riza with a frown. 

“I know how close you two are.” 

“Who?”

“You and Taylor.” 

“What’s going on?” 

“She’s going to go back to her family.” 

“What?” Roy exclaimed, dropping his fork on his plate. 

“The government gives the family so long-”

“I know but I thought that they were in the process of relinquishing their parental rights.” He turned and saw Riza eating her breakfast slowly, watching him with deep concern. 

“Apparently not.” 

“She can’t go back,” he quickly argued. 

“You know as well as each one of us that there is nothing we can do about it. She’d been seeing her parents for quite some time. You knew this.” 

Roy didn’t reply as he leaned forward on the counter. 

“I don’t have custody over her like that. In two weeks, I’ll hand her back to the state and they will forward her to her father’s care.” 

“You have got to be kidding.” 

“Now Roy…” 

“Chris, this is unfair! And this is what she wants?” 

“She’s well below the age of what she wants.” He could hear she was getting irritated at him and his tone against her. “Her progress and her behavior have been well documented. They know all that we know.”

“Chris-” He nearly yelled into the phone.

“Roy,” she said firmly. 

Roy stopped and put his face in his hands. 

“I think it’s best if you come spend some time with her next week.” 

Roy ran a hand through his hair. “Does she know?” 

“Yes.” 

“How is she taking it?” 

“She’s okay. I think she’s hoping that it’s better this time.” 

“This is fucking bullshit,” he mumbled. 

“I wish there was more we could do. But you know there isn’t. I would have loved to adopt her like we did Shelby, but they decided to keep her and take the classes.” 

“And they passed.” 

“Yes.” 

Roy raised his hand in the air frustrated. Riza put her hand on his arm and he felt a momentary sense of relief. 

“Make a point to come down and say hi. Maybe you two can go to the movies.” 

“Yes, Aunt Chris.” He sighed loudly, not liking the acceptance that it required. 

“I just wanted to make sure you know. You don’t come around often enough to know what’s going on.” She sighed on the other end. “I hope you and Riza can have a good day. It’s sunny out. Go play.” She used to say that when they were children. 

“Have a good day, Chris.” He hung up his phone and put it on the counter. 

“Are you okay,” Riza asked softly. 

He wasn’t. If there were any of them that he’d gotten close to, it was Taylor. Through their banter, they’d grown to love one another. “Chris says that Taylor’s parents passed the courses required and instead of forfeiting their rights, they decided to pursue keeping her.” 

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

Roy put his face back in his hands. “They don’t love her,” he mumbled. 

Riza leaned into him, rubbing his back. Just her presence alone brought him comfort and peace, but her hand on his back broke him on his stoic persona. He wanted to go down to the social offices and demand justice for Taylor. “How bad can it be? Your aunt and you have seen so many girls come through. Surely you’ve seen worse cases.”

“I haven’t seen too many since she didn’t get serious into fostering until I got older. But Taylor is one unfortunate kid.” He sighed, leaning against the counter as he turned to Riza. “Three years ago, her father broke three of her ribs as he beat her. The bones in her arms were bruised and there were bruises on her neck that indicated that she had been strangled.” 

Riza put her hand over her mouth. “How…” 

“So, she was pulled that time. But the father showed no signs of danger to the social department. And the mother insisted that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. She insisted that Taylor did most of it to herself.” 

“She didn’t protect Taylor?”

Roy frowned. “I don’t think that is her biological mother. I think it’s her stepmother.”

“How…” 

“They followed the procedures and got her back. But they were put on a list that said that if there are any other problems, there'll be serious repercussions, blah blah blah. Well, a year later, Taylor came to school limping. Her ankle was broken. Both she and her father insisted that she had fallen down the steps at home and the break wasn’t bad enough to warrant worry. But shortly after that, she was with a friend and her mom and they went to the store to buy clothes. I guess she took her shirt off and there were bruises and cuts all over her back.” 

“Did you see it?” 

Roy shook his head. “I guess Chris saw some scars and I think Shelby did too. But Taylor doesn’t let people close to her. She didn’t like me for a long time. But we started to get together when I couldn’t leave the bed.” He chuckled a few times. “Maybe it was because she knew I couldn’t hurt her if I was stuck there. Anyway, her father, or stepmother, had been beating her with the latch part of a belt.” 

“What the fuck!” Riza stepped back, her mouth agape as she looked horrified. 

Roy nodded, anger surging through his veins. “I hate them, I really do. I’d adopt her just to keep her away from them.” 

“What did they have to do to get her back?” 

“A couple courses and such. They have money, she wasn’t malnourished.” He didn’t want to bring back memories for her. It wasn’t like she had a good childhood either. Her father had provided her with everything needed to survive, except love. He didn’t think Berthold had a loving bone in his body. Roy rubbed his face roughly. “Chris just wants me to go down there and say goodbye, take her out to lunch or a movie or something like that.” 

Riza nodded. 

“He better not kill her,” Roy said lowly. “He doesn’t deserve her!” Roy lifted his head to his hands as he paced from the wall back to the kitchen. 

“You’re getting worked up. That’s unlike you.” 

Roy grumped loudly, almost growling as he glared at her. He paced again. “She’s supposed to grow up and be better than all of us. She’s the one kid that Aunt Chris wanted to go to college!” 

“And she still can.” 

“Not if her father kills her!” 

“Roy,” Riza said firmly. He turned, folding his arms across his chest. “Stop. We don’t know what is going to happen. Nothing may happen. We have to wait and see.” 

He turned his glare towards the couch. 

“If she’s been seeing them, then maybe it has been getting better.” 

“She’s required to,” he corrected. “She doesn’t come back the same. She’s quiet. Catherine said that she spends the rest of the afternoon in her room.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “She doesn’t want to go back.” 

Riza tilted her head to the side before rubbing her own face. “I know that you’re frustrated. And I think it’s justified.” 

“The state is fucking killing her!” 

“But you need to calm down and understand that there’s very little that we can do.” 

“If they waited just six more months, they’d been forced to sign the papers to let her go. In another year, she’d be able to tell the judge she didn’t want to go back!” He leaned over the counter. 

Her hand returned back to his spine where she rubbed him gently.

“I love her,” he whispered as he rested his head on his arms. “She’s a little sister to me.” 

“Is it that they are taking her from you?” 

He tilted his head to see her. “I’ve never really grown attached to any of the girls. Not really. We adopted Shelby, but she was already a teen when Chris did. And even then, I wasn’t around so we didn’t connect. I think Chris did it because she needed someone home.” He looked from her and back towards the couch. “They came and went and her house was always a place where they could come and feel safe, or get something to eat.” He looked back at Riza. That’s what his house had been to Riza. “But I never was attached like Taylor.” 

“What if Belle had to leave?” 

“Belle is turning 18 and leaving Central,” he snorted. “She was adoptable for years now. She didn’t want that. She just wanted her own space.”

“You’re not brother-like to her?” 

Roy didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure how. 

“Is it because Taylor is so young?” 

He nodded. “When I got out of the hospital, I had to stay downstairs until I healed more. So I spent a lot of time on the couch. I’d play video games, or whatever, but she’d avoid me. Finally, she came in and was looking for something. I remember I was in so much pain, and I couldn’t move anyway. I reached over and grabbed a rubber band and shot it at her. I missed but she looked so shocked that I’d do that.” He chuckled with a grin. “The next day, she came in while I was napping and shot me with one. Scared the shit out of me. Smacked me right in the forehead.” 

“Sounds like my kind of kid.” Riza grinned. 

“And after that, we just got along.” He shifted his weight. “She’d come in and poke me and ask me if I hurt. And if I’d say yes, she’d give me a hard time but stay out of reach.” 

Riza chuckled. 

“I know she’s a good kid. And that’s what hurts. We worked so hard to get her where she is.  _ She’s  _ worked so hard to get where she is. And it’s going to be all thrown away with this stupid fuck.” 

A moment of silence seeped into the room as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a loud sigh. The waffles were pushed aside and he walked from her. It was more that he just needed to walk, not that he wanted away from Riza. He was sure that Riza understood on some level, but she never had ribs broken and strangulation. Her back was even more of an accident that resulted in great fear of her father. Roy would blame her father nonetheless. Maybe that was why he took so well to Taylor. She reminded him of a younger Riza. He felt that he needed to protect her. He remembered the days that she hid at his place, trying to bide time to go home. He remembered walking by and hearing her father yell. The scorn he’d give the two of them as they sat in the garden. The man was just angry with everything and unfortunately, Riza happened to be there at all the wrong times. It enraged him. His body tensed and his stomach tightened as he remembered feeling so useless as a child to help her. All he could do was watch. 

Riza chuckled and Roy turned to look at her, tilting his head with curiosity to what was funny. “I’m here,” she explained, smiling gently. 

His brow fell as he tried to understand. 

“It’s different this time,” she explained. “When Father died, you were away. But this time, I’m here to help you.” 

“Oh God,” he groaned. “I’m so sorry,” he sat down on the couch, his hand catching his face again. How could that come back up? Not only had he been unable to help her when her father was alive, but after he died, he wasn’t even physically there to console her! It wasn’t fair. 

“No,” she quickly insisted. “No, it’s not a guilt thing, Sweetie! It’s a good thing.” 

“I can’t be there for anyone,” he moaned. He can’t even save the ones he loves. He barely saved Jean, and he couldn’t be credited with that considering he wasn’t the one applying pressure and getting a helicopter to them. 

“You’re fine,” she continued to attempt to console him as she sat next to him. Her hand rubbed his back, pressing deep into his tense shoulders. She pried his arms away from his face and put her hands on the day-old stubbed, lifting his head so she could see his sad eyes. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“Riza,” he breathed, pulling her hands from his face. “You have no idea how bad I feel about not being able to help you. I should not have joined the military. We’d be together, and I would have helped you, and…” His mind ran quickly over all the scenarios of what-ifs. 

“And we’re here now,” she said calmly. “I just find it ironic.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I think, in a sense, it was good for me.” 

“What? To know you don’t need me?” 

She hummed as she thought. “Yes,” she replied quietly. “But more so that I can do things on my own. It’s not about being alone, Roy. It’s about being able to take care of yourself.” 

“I should have been there,” he insisted. “Just like I need to be there for Taylor. She’s getting thrown back into a situation in which her life is at risk and I can’t be there for her.” He looked back at his hand in his lap. His chest felt like it was going to implode, his throat tightening. “It was hard, wasn’t it? Me not being there when you needed me the most.” 

Riza put her finger to her chin as she thought. “Yes,” she agreed slowly. “It was really hard. I mean, I had never felt so alone and deserted. I fucking hated my dad, but he was all I had. Chris had moved to East City for that time period and you were in the military.” 

“God, I’m so sorry.” Roy felt crushed under the weight that had been hovering over them this whole time. 

“And I think I resented you for a long time,” she admitted with a smirk. “But I don’t know. I forgive you.” 

Roy sighed, pulling his face up from his hand, looking over them towards the kitchen and the uneaten Waffles. “I can’t have Taylor resent me the same way.” 

Riza stood up, pressing him back on the couch. “You worry too much,” she said slowly, smiling mischievously to him. “Anyone ever tell you that?” She crawled on top of him, straddling him. Her hands rubbed up his chest, cresting his shoulders before reaching to the back of his head. “You can’t save everyone. Sometimes they have to save themselves.” 

Roy sighed loudly through his nose, tilting his head back to look up at her. “I’d save you every day,” he whispered. “I would walk through fire.” 

“I know you would. But I’m not going to ask you to. And neither will Taylor.” She scooted closer to him so that her knees could tighten on his hips. “And I know she’s too young to figure out how to protect herself, and that she’s being put into a really bad situation, but there are things you can do.” Roy put his hands on her lower back. “For instance, you can be what you always were for me, a place to hide. It’s probably not safe if the father comes after her… or it’s insinuated in other ways…” She shrugged her shoulders.

“I’d kill him,” Roy admitted quietly. “Maes and I would make him disappear.” 

“I know,” she giggled, running her hand through his hair. It felt amazing, calming him slowly and with each stroke. “I think that you take all this responsibility on your shoulders. You’re not the only one feeling this way. Chris is probably feeling just as bad.” 

“I know she is,” he agreed quickly. “She was counting down the days till she could put in the adoption papers.”

“You’re aunt is an angel.” 

“Heh,” he scoffed. His hands draped lower to her hips, his eyesight looking down at their waists. 

“It’s going to be okay,” she promised, his hands falling from his hair to his shoulders. “If I’m going to be here for you, you have to trust me as I would… Like I have always trusted you.” 

Roy was skeptical, not because he was going to trust her, but because he wasn’t sure it was going to be okay. He nodded just the same and watched as she slid off him. She walked towards the kitchen while he watched her. Where else had he failed her? It wasn’t that he was an awful human being. Roy felt that he was good at what he did, and valued most morals. But as a boyfriend… as a friend to her, what was he? Because she was his world. Even now, without her, he’d be a mess. He’d probably be still living with his aunt, threatening to kill Taylor’s father in front of Taylor. Even worse, he’d be calling his friend in investigations and seeking to find the guy. But Riza calmed his soul. He could wait to kill the man. Wait till when he didn’t know. 

“Come help me clean the kitchen, Gloomy.” 

He stood up, pushing off his knees and sighing. He was lucky to have her nonetheless, crisis or not. He had fucked up in so many ways, and she stood next to him through it all. He’d worked for it, fought for it. Apologized over and over, and yet she forgave him. He was blessed to have her with him. And as he walked behind her and kissed her right under her ear, he grabbed a towel and leaned his hip against the counter. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

“Stop worrying,” she whispered back. “Just wait. Let’s see where it’s going and you can go hang out with her during the week.” 

Roy nodded. 

* * *

She gathered the blankets and peeked into the bedroom to see him putting socks on. “Don’t tell me you’re going to be running late again.” He looked up to see her holding four blankets and tilting her head back at him. 

“The stars aren’t going anywhere,” he insisted. “Are you sure you don’t want thicker socks? I don’t want you to get cold.” 

She shrugged. “I have you to keep me warm.” 

With a light chuckle, he stood up and grabbed two blankets from her. “Then, let’s get going.” 

They had to get far enough out of town to see the stars. After some discussion on what to do, Riza had mentioned just going out and cuddling under the stars. He wasn’t opposed to it. He was always up for some good cuddling. There were only a few things that they could do that was more romantic than laying under the stars buried in blankets. After a stressful day, it'd be a good distraction nonetheless. Of course, Roy was looking forward to sex under the stars too. He grinned as he put the blankets in his trunk. That was stress relief, and it was romantic. There wasn’t anything that he needed more, it would be alone time with Riza Hawkeye. 

It was her idea. There was supposed to be a meteor shower and she said, “let’s go outside of town and see it.” Then it escalated to, “let’s get some blankets.” She wasn’t even the romantic one. However, Roy was sure that she was trying to make the day better. He’d sulked around the apartment, watching TV. He did clean the bathroom like he was asked, but he didn’t feel like doing much else. He appreciated it even more when she popped some popcorn and sat on the couch with him. So the idea was well welcomed. 

“I remember seeing meteor showers when we were kids,” she admitted as he got onto a road leading out of town. “Chris let us get up on the roof and we watched it.” 

He chuckled, running his hand through his hair. “I’m not sure how we didn’t die,” he admitted. “She was bold enough to let a thirteen and ten-year-old on a roof.” 

“But it was so fun! She made us hot cocoa and brought us some brownies…” Roy looked over to see her smiling softly as she looked out the window. “Sometimes I wonder if she always wanted us to be together.” 

He nodded, grinning himself. “We got away with quite a bit, didn't we?” 

“Oh! Like that time she took us to town and dropped us off at the mall by ourselves.” She laughed. “Dad never asked where I got those clothes from.” She raised two fingers as if she was counting. “And she didn’t say anything about me storing my rifle there.” A third finger. “She also didn’t say anything about me storing my bike there either. I don’t know if Dad ever knew about the bike.” 

Roy laughed as he changed lanes. “What did your dad know?”

Riza got quiet as she stared ahead. “I hope nothing,” she whispered. “He knew I went to school and that I got good grades.” She shrugged it off easily and looked out the window. “I should have run away sooner.” 

Roy sighed, knowing she was correct. However, it wouldn’t have solved anything. His aunt was not as lenient as they made her out to be, and Riza knew. She was often very adamant about being respectful about the age difference, and she was always firm about dinner time, Riza coming or not. She had no tolerance for delinquency. As all the stupid shit they did, Roy was always sure that Chris never knew. Roy always wondered if Riza’s father would have ever cared. Certainly, he’d throw a fit. Some of the worst situations that were brought up were from minor incidents. She scraped her knee once, and she came running to hide. There was another time that she forgot to water the flowers and Roy was certain that she got the belt. It was little things. Chris never cared over the little things. It was, “If I catch you out in that pasture one more time…” because chasing and trying to catch the horses to ride them was not only dangerous but harassing the animals. He remembered the one time her back got sunburned and Chris rubbed Riza’s back with aloe so that her father wouldn’t find out that she was out by the pond. Roy frowned. The man didn’t care so much for the wellbeing of his daughter, just like Taylor’s. 

“At one point while he was sick, I thought about just leaving then. I couldn’t get ahold of you, and I didn’t have Chris’s number,” she whispered to the window. “I just wanted him to die and get it over with.” She turned with sad eyes to Roy. “Is that bad?” 

Roy put his hand on her thigh and squeezed it gently. “I know,” he whispered. “I know.” He looked up to see they were pulling into a quiet suburb of Central. It was darker, the houses were farther apart and the area was quiet. Roy almost wondered if he’d ever lived in a house like these in a suburb. He’d much prefer a house in a town where he was close to work with little commute. “Should we find a park or head farther out?”

Riza hummed, pushing her lips to one side of her face as she thought. 

Roy kept driving outward. There were a few spots that he could find that would be nice for the two of them. Somewhere they could just relax. 

“Go farther out,” she determined. “I’m sure a fancy place like this has a curfew.” 

There was a grassy ridge that overlooked Central that he pulled up to. It was a campground area, trees around the edges and little charcoal stands here and there. It was dark but he did see picnic tables and a swing set. But no one was there. They could hear the crickets chirping as the wind stilled. For an August night, it was chilly, making him regret not grabbing them both jackets. Although Riza didn’t show a shiver, he knew she was feeling it as she quickly laid down the blankets. 

As he watched, he couldn’t help but to continue to admire her. She was so damn beautiful, graceful with careful and precise hands. She wasn’t delicate in any sense, though he was always inclined to treat her so. And she got after him for it. As he helped lay down the third layer, he saw how she smiled up at him, maybe thinking the same thing he was. It was incredibly hard not to just grab her, tangle themselves in the mess of blankets, and forget the stars above them. It was hard not begging for her to say his name, to cry out in euphoria. But he’d wait. 

“We should have remembered pillows,” she pouted, bringing the last blanket. 

“Baby,” he grinned. “I am your pillow.” 

Riza walked up to him and poked him in the belly. Roy instantly flinched, jumping back. “No, you’re too firm,” she concluded. 

Roy frowned. “I can get soft,” he threatened. “There’s a buffet at work every Thursday, don’t tempt me!” 

“I know you already go,” she snickered. “Straighten this out.” As soon as it was perfect, she dove under, sinking into the mess as she looked up. Roy opened up the blankets and slid next to her. “Hurry,” she commanded. “You’re letting the cold air in.” 

He chuckled. Her head rested on his arm, her golden hair flowing under her. His other arm his own head rested on. Their eyes peered into the darkness above, watching as the streaks slipped in and out of the abyss. Under the thick assortment, their bodies pressed close to savor the warmth between them. His blood ran hot. Roy was certain that it was him alone keeping them so warm by just how hot his skin felt against her. Even as they were an established couple, he still wondered if it was going to be okay to just roll over and mount her. He could generate warmth for her. The friction of their bodies would make them forget the chill of the air. 

“Oh,” she exclaimed as she pointed to the sky. “That was a good one!” 

Roy hadn’t even noticed. He was too wrapped up in Riza. Or maybe he wasn’t wrapped up enough. He didn’t have both arms around her, but he didn’t need to with the amount of influence she was putting on him. 

“I’m so glad I have you,” she whispered and she turned to put her arm on his chest. “I don’t think I’d do these things on my own.” 

Roy disagreed. “Oh, it was your idea, not mine. I’m just along for the ride.” 

“You needed it.” 

He turned his head, smelling the top of her hair, grinning in happy satisfaction. “You smell the same.” 

“You’re incorrigible,” she laughed. 

It was true. Everything she was, she’d always been to him.

He needed her. His life would be empty without hers. He’d work every day with his head down; meaningless work that he slaved at because he felt that one day he’d make the difference he joined to make. In truth, Roy knew that the change he fought for was down a difficult road. He wouldn’t take it with anyone else but her. She brought light to his darkness, gave him purpose to his work, and inspired him to do better. He was living on his own, loving and finding the passion that he once held as a boy. Most of all, Riza was the love of his life. She always had been. She completed him. If there was anyone in the world that he’d spend his life with all its ups and downs, it’d be her. 

Roy looked up at another large bright streak across the sky, listening to the gasp on his chest. Today had woken him up to her greatness in his life. Not only would he be empty, but he’d be out of his mind committing murder. She kept him sane. He looked down at the top of her head. He needed her by his side. He needed her to be there for him, as he should be there for her. Side by side they could take on the world. He didn’t need sex and if they laid there all night watching the stars, he’d be happy. He looked down again at her head. He didn’t need her to call out his name to the night sky, though he wouldn’t deny that he’d enjoy it. He didn’t need it. He wanted to wake up with her every morning, make sure that she had her coffee in the morning with the perfect balance of cream and sugar. He’d make sure that she’d have it perfect every morning. He needed her. 

How else could he ask to be the one to make her coffee? How else was he going to ask her to be the one to kiss in the morning? How could he ever see a future without his Riza? 

“Riza,” he asked seriously into the darkness. 

She turned, looking up at him. “Hmm?” 

“Marry me.” 

“Right now?” Riza blinked, looking back at him in disbelief. She raised an eyebrow with a slight chuckle. “You really want to be married to me for the rest of our lives?”

“Till death do us part,” he breathed. “I will love you.” 

She hummed, not looking away from him. He’d asked her many times, and each time it seemed that she’d taken it as a joke. He took it in stride, as always, even if he wasn’t joking about any of them. He wasn’t joking the first time when they were running home from school. “Okay.” She said softly. “I will.” 

He smiled, puffing out his chest. He wanted to jump up, pick her up in his arms, and scream over the vast space to Central that she said yes. But he stayed where he was, just smiling brightly. She leaned up, pushing off his extended chest, and pecking him softly on the lips. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her deeper into their embrace. “I so love you,” he breathed. 

“Roy,” she sighed. “I love you too.” 

Silently, they laid, under the string of stars that wisped overhead, holding each other. His chin rested gently on her head as they lay still as if a picture had been taken. He didn’t want to let her go, and from her hold on him, she didn’t want to let him go either. In reality, Roy would have never stopped asking. He’d ask her until they were dying. To hear her say that she’d marry him made him happier than it was physically possible. It was unearthly. His soul filled with completeness, a deep warmth in his stomach. As he closed his eyes, he could see their first kiss, innocent as kids. When he was at that age, marriage wasn’t a thing of his life. 

“Took you long enough,” he snickered quietly. “Why now? Why not a year ago?”

Riza laughed against him. “It’s not like I never stopped loving you.” 

She never stopped loving him. Where he’d always thought that he’d fucked up, ruined them by doing what he always thought was right, she never stopped loving him even then. She never stopped loving him when he lied to her in his own fears of being judged. She loved him when he didn’t know what he wanted to do, and when he was sure of himself. And he loved her the same. She had no faults whatsoever. She never would. Even when they were older with kids and they both were in tears from exhaustion, Roy knew he’d be as happy as he ever could be. And when they were an arm's length apart yelling at each other, he wouldn’t give that moment up for the world. He’d wake early to kiss her good morning, and he’d go to sleep late to kiss her good night. 

His hold tightened around her. “I promise the world to you, Riza Hawkeye.” 

“You are my world,” she replied in a giggle. “So, I don’t think that will be hard.” 

There on a hill overlooking the city, with shooting stars in their eyes, they laid quietly. Their breaths synchronized, and their hearts beating against each other. As the shooting stars faded, Roy looked down to see her body lax on his. Her gentle snores were nearly inaudible compared to the singing crickets. As his gaze looked upward, he debated staying there, tucking the blankets around them tighter and letting the morning sun wake them. His kisses on her shoulders and on her neck would wake her, while the soft luminescence of the sun would warm her chilled cheeks. He’d buy them breakfast, some pastry that she’d like, and a coffee on their way in. In a hot shower, he’d press her against the wall. 

Roy grinned. 

No. In the hot shower, he’d kiss her whole body starting with the worry lines on her forehead. 

As wonderful that would be, she’d sleep better in their bed. It was nearly three in the morning and he could get them home by four. Roy nodded. Breakfast and coffee would still be had when they woke in the afternoon. They’d stay in bed, his feet tickling hers as her fingers played with his hair. They could dance slowly in the kitchen to a song that she put on just moments ago. Maybe she’d spray him with the sink sprayer, and he’d kiss her anyway. He’d throw her over his shoulder and take her back to the bedroom. Their relationship wasn’t just starting. It wasn’t peaking either. It's always been there. 

“Come on,” he nudged. “We gotta get up and get you to bed.” 

Riza pulled on his jacket, pulling him closer. “We should just stay here,” she mumbled. 

He patted her hand and pulled back the covers. Even he shivered with the rude chill that invaded. He pulled her up, quickly wrapping a blanket over her slouched form before picking her up bridal style and taking her to the car. In the front seat, he put her, making sure she was wrapped tightly before starting the car and turning the heat on low. She snuggled back into the blankets with a yawn. He was sure that she wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. With a kiss on her forehead, he shut the door and went to retrieve the blankets in the grass. A large, bright, streak blazed over the city. Roy stopped to watch the white line cut through the darkness. “What a magical night. Yes, I needed this.” 

As they pulled up to the apartment, Roy let out a large yawn as he parked the car. He got out, leaving the blankets in the trunk, and going over to Riza’s side. She must have been exhausted throughout the day. He would have expected her to stay up a bit longer. She would have even woken up during the drive. But she instead stayed curled up in the seat snoozing away. It wasn’t quality sleep, but she didn’t seem bothered by it in the least. He opened the door, wondering if he should wake her. Before he made a decision, he bent down and undid her seat belt. 

She stirred lightly. “Roy,” she yawed. 

He managed his arm under her and the other behind her back as he lifted her from the car. “We’re home,” he said softly. She’d be lighter if it wasn’t for the awkwardness of the blanket. 

“Thank you,” she breathed. 

He smiled, shutting the door with his foot. It was the only day he wished they had an elevator. He took each step carefully as he ascended to the third floor. His fingers felt the keys, trying to remember what his home key felt like as he stepped up the last flight. He let his lips fall, kissing her forehead, feeling her snuggle against his shoulder. He’d carry her every day of his life if that’s what he had to do. He’d carry her to bed every night and he’d carry their children until they were grown. He’d carry the weight of his family because that’s what he wanted from life. He wanted to be their pillar. He wanted to be  _ her  _ pillar as she was for him. His fingers felt for the keyhole, carefully unlocking it and opening the door. 

“You’re such a good boyfriend,” she muttered against him. 

“Consider yourself lucky,” he joked. “None of the previous girlfriends got the VIP treatment.” 

She hummed a laugh as he shut the door with his foot. “I love you.” 

He kissed her forehead again. Carefully he laid her on the bed. He still needed to get the other blankets and lock the car. 

“I will make you breakfast, she breathed. 

“I will make coffee,” he whispered back. But he had no plans to wake up yet. They’d wake up when they woke up and then he’d be sure they would remember a shooting star. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWWWWWWW Finally, right? They so deserve each other.   
> I do hope you all enjoyed this round. I was looking for a perfect balance of angst and fluff... needing the fluff today. I'm sure you need it too. Let me know what you're thinking! I love hearing from you! I have a few more days now, so I'm hoping to be semi more regular with postings now. Pray for me, I have the last chapter to write and this fic will be all yours! Haha. 
> 
> I hope that every single one of you have a wonderful day. You deserve it. Take care of yourself and see you next time!


	22. New Job?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza lands a great opportunity in her lap. But could it be too good to be true? And Roy isn't exactly excited either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT? Back to weekly updates? Eh, for now.   
> Thanks Rando! I owe ya one!

“What?” Roy’s voice was above a whisper. “But…” 

“This could be good for me,” Riza argued, curling a hair behind her ear. “I’d be able to teach what I wanted.” 

Roy didn’t say anything as his gaze dropped, his head falling slack. 

It was something she wanted, wanted dearly. She’d worked hard in school, worked hard to apply for jobs, and hard for internships. This was the light at the end of a tunnel. “After the semester, I have the ability to stay there and work as a teacher full time,” she insisted. “It’s too good.” 

Roy’s body dropped next, his elbows holding his head up, fingers through his hair. “I’m not sure how we’re going to make this work.” 

Riza feared that too. She felt guilty even bringing it up.

Just weeks ago she’d received a call from a high school in Central. It was a good school, had high marks and did well in competitions and sports. However, her stomach, with the encouragement of Roy, told her to wait it out. The last semester required eight hundred internship hours and there were certain schools that offered a career after the internship. Throughout the interview process, and the applications, Riza focused her energy towards these schools. However, there were only a few of them. Rockbell Highschool was one of them. Still, Riza waited. She was hopeful that there were more possibilities out there for her than just one offer. 

“You’ll get a call back,” Roy had told her. “Just be patient.” 

Riza glared at him as she sat back on the couch and crossed her arms. “I just want it to have more offers to choose from.” 

Roy patted her leg. “Wait for one you want. Get the one you want.” 

“It’s going to be me picking one of the normal ones. That’s how it’s going to be.” Riza looked up at her boyfriend. “I want to teach more than just music.”

“Why are you doubting yourself?” 

She doubted herself because she wanted too much. The stakes were too high in her mind. She was so anxious that she applied all over the country, just to see what was out there. She wanted to know her self worth. Consciously or not, there was a twang of need to know where she stood. And in the month of applying, she had one call back. 

“You’re worth more than they know,” Roy had argued. “It’s their loss.” 

The words didn’t exactly stick. They were comforting for a moment but waned as the days went on. Many of the schools wanted teachers to teach just musical instruction, not the music theory which Riza enjoyed. Some high schools, but mostly colleges, would give her that opportunity. And when she brought this up in interviews, the board members frowned. The sources were dwindling. Riza was getting antsy to just accept the high school’s offer. She’d do her internship, do a few years at the school, and maybe move to a private school later. 

One afternoon as she walked home, Riza meditated as she watched the leaves turn to a dull orange and fall to the ground. It felt useless at times. Her footsteps were light as she turned to cross the street.  _ I’m tired of the interviews.  _ It was a matter of having to prove herself which, to be honest, was a bit degrading. She had more than enough qualifications. What did they not like?  _ I’m limiting my chances if I don’t take this offer soon.  _ What would happen if she couldn’t get the internship hours?  _ They can’t wait for me to say yes or no forever.  _

Roy wasn’t supposed to be home till after five. She’d have the apartment to herself for a few hours. She could go over a few things, finish up a paper, and maybe start on dinner.  _ Ordering a pizza sounds nice.  _ She stopped to look into a cafe before opening the door.  _ Coffee helps,  _ she snickered to herself. It’d be a good pick-me-upper. The shop was full of older adults. There were two young adults talking happily in the corner, leaning over the table as they’d chuckled about their topic. She should call Maria. She heard that Denny had gotten a job in the upper district and he was rather loved. A man in a three-piece suit leaned back in his chair as he sipped his coffee slowly, reading the paper. There were a few more people, mostly by themselves, just going on about their personal lives. That meant that besides the two enthusiastic women in the corner, the cafe was peaceful in a way. 

With a warm coffee in hand and time to spare, she sat down in a plush chair, sinking into the cushion. She crossed her legs and looked out a big window at the people passing by. With a gentle blow over the steam from her coffee, Riza took a sip. She couldn’t accept the first school that called her back. Even if she thought about other schools, she knew that she’d probably get a second interview with the board of directors of the district. She’d already done that with two of them, and they had yet to contact her. She took another sip as she looked at the paper next to her. Since she wanted to work with middle school or high school teens, and that limited her applications.  _ The elementary schools aren’t even offering full-time positions,  _ she frowned.  _ Maybe I should try to get a university job.  _ That’s always been a thought.  _ It’d require more school, I’m sure. But at least I’d be doing something I’m a bit more passionate about than something that is too routine for me.  _

The last sips of coffee calmed her with her mediation. Riza looked at her watch, seeing that she should indeed start heading home. Roy would want to know how her day went. She threw her paper cup away and headed down the sidewalk towards home. In her anxiety and her antsy state of mind, she still had Roy. Through his encouragement, she’d kept waiting and kept trying. Maybe it was because she wanted a school that would appreciate her specialty so badly, or maybe it was the feeling of rejection, but at home, she had someone who didn’t reject her, and who didn’t doubt her. That was something that she did have. 

As she began to smile, she heard her phone begin to ring softly.  _ I bet he’s on his way home and wondering what to pick up.  _ She looked at the caller ID to see that it wasn’t a recognizable number. Her heart jumped into her throat. “This is Riza,” she answered, fighting the quiver of excitement in her voice. 

When she did get home, Roy was just walking through the door. “Funny meeting you here,” he greeted. “And at the same time. A sign of good luck if you ask me.” 

“Actually,” Riza grinned. “I do have good news.” 

They walked into the apartment, setting their bags and shoes by the front door. “Is this a bottle of wine good news, or a fancy dinner good news?” Roy walked over to the fridge. 

Riza leaned against the counter. “I’m not sure yet.” 

Roy popped his head up, raising an eyebrow. 

“I got a great call with a private school.” She grinned widely. “But it’s in East City.” 

“Wait what?” Roy tried not to drop his beer. 

“It’s prestigious and well known. It’s better pay, and they are offering me the job outright. After school, there would be a permanent position for me!” 

So here they were, with Roy leaning over the counter, his head in his hands, his fingers covering his mouth. There were the obvious stress and shock that the news brought him. She’d be surprised if he said that it was unexpected for such a school to contact her. He’d been a great support for her, a calm presence to her chaotic breakdowns. He should have been happy, surprised even, and in complete support of this. Why was he upset?

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s in East City,” he breathed. “I can’t move to East City.” 

Riza sighed through her nose. “Can’t you transfer?” She just assumed that he would go with her. 

“I might,” he said quietly, looking up as his hands finished running through his hair. “But it’s a request. It could be denied. On top of that, there’s no promise of staying in the field that I’m in now.” She could see him in complete shock. 

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because I like what I do,” he answered quickly with a snap. “They don’t even have to accept the request.” His tone raised as he threw his hand up. “Fuck.” He looked up, rubbing his forehead. “I know you’re excited about this job, but ….” 

Riza frowned. “They will let you transfer. Your Colonel likes you.” 

“It’s a demotion,” he continued. “You are in Central if you do a good job, are in good standings, and you are better than the rest. If I go to East City, it would be like getting kicked down in integrity in a sense.” 

“But it’s not,” she insisted. 

“It’s not a good move on my career!”

“You make whatever your career is,” Riza quickly argued. “You don’t even know if you will or will not have a training position in East City.” 

Roy shook his head. He looked at the cold beer in his hand. “I can’t leave.” 

The room quieted as they both sat staring at one another. The air was tense, thick with anxiety. Riza bit her lip as she wanted to encourage him one way or the other, but Roy looked too much in shock to say anything in return. They both contemplated the situation. 

“So are you telling me that you want me to take the job at Rockbell High?” 

Roy opened and closed his mouth a few times. 

“You do, don’t you!” 

“Riza.” 

“You sat there for the last week and encouraged me to go for the big place, and here you are telling me that you’d rather me take second-grade schools!” Riza was in a state of disbelief. How could he betray her like this?

“I didn’t know that you had applied outside of Central,” he argued. “We should have talked about this beforehand.” 

“I was just keeping my options open.” She put her hands on her hips. “You told me to apply everywhere.” 

“Riza,” he cried out. “I didn’t mean outside the city!” 

“How could I not?” Riza paced from the door to the counter. “I did want to keep my options open.” 

“I can’t just get up and leave,” he illustrated again. “The state owns me. I am where they want me.” 

Riza was conflicted on so many levels at this point. She understood that he couldn’t just leave, but she also felt that he was reluctant to even try. It felt like they were both being selfish. She knew she understood. However, it was hard for her to give up this amazing chance in her career. 

“I don’t want a long-distance relationship,” he clarified quickly. 

Riza looked at her carpet. “I don’t either.” 

Roy put the beer on the counter. “I don’t understand why you can’t just get a job in Central,” he trumped. 

“I want a job in Central,” she insisted. “But this is more than I could ever ask for! They want someone teaching more than just music. I’d be working with kids who love music like I do!” 

“I’m not sure what I can do,” Roy breathed. “This is the job you want,” he asked as he stood up straight, popping the cap off his beer bottle. 

“Roy,” she whispered. “This is more than I wanted. I put my name in just for kicks. I had this little online interview that was literally 20 minutes. It wasn’t even promising. I never expected to actually get a call.”

Roy looked at the counter, avoiding eye contact with her as he took a swig of his beer. “Where do we go from here then?” 

Riza turned as she looked out the window and back at him. The excitement was now ladened with guilt. Maybe she should be more concerned like he was. “What if I go down there, and you can work on transferring?”

Roy nodded slowly. “Riza, I’ve worked hard in my field and all my certifications.” He waved a finger from the beer as he had a thought. “I only have about nine months left till my reenlistment. To ask for a transfer, it’s more unlikely that I would get it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “On top of it, I have school that I’m finishing up here.” 

“Wait,” she said with a jump. “You have nine months? Does that mean that you are going to get out?” 

Roy shook his head. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe I will stay in.” He threw his hands up. “Riza….” 

“Roy, this is great,” she insisted. “This is amazing. How can I turn this down?” 

“It’s going to be long-distance,” he said louder. 

“You can visit on the weekends!” 

“And what if I decide to stay?” His face hardened as the questioning increased. “What if I choose to stay in the military for another four years?” 

“Then you can transfer.” Riza couldn’t understand what was his problem. There were solutions to his problems and this was such a big moment for her.

“So, what happens when I’m not doing what I want,” he asked softly. 

A wave of guilt surged over her again. How could she reasonably ask for that? He had, after all, done so much for her already. 

“So I reenlist, I transfer, and I take the first position for what?” 

“Do you want to reenlist?” 

Roy put his hand over his mouth, swiping downward. “I don’t know yet.” 

“Have you ever given it any thought?” The topic had yet to come up. They hadn’t talked about it, even with nine months to go. Riza thought that he’d just get out because of how she felt. Suddenly, there was a thought that he’d stay in. Even with his sacrifices and all the deception they had put him through, he’d still remain faithful to the military? She wouldn’t have doubted herself for a second to leave. Roy was different and she was realizing she was overlooking one of the finer qualities of him. Not only his loyalty, but Roy had a superhero complex. He wanted to make that difference and the military offered that to him. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I haven’t made a decision yet. And even if I get out, and I move down there, I have to find something to do.” 

It was Riza’s turn to lean against the counter. It was more complicated than she’d thought. It was starting to weigh her down. Further and further from this conversation wiped her dream and wants from her mind. 

“Riza,” he reached out to her hand. “I’m sorry. I… I want you to be happy. I do. It’s just.” his words trailed off.

That was the problem. She wanted him to be happy too. How could she ever ask him to give up her life to make him happy?  _ How can you do this to someone you love like this?  _ It was clearly unfair. She leaned back, looking towards the couch.  _ Shouldn’t you want him to be happy too? Where’s the compromise? _ “And what if you stay here,” she asked in a near whisper. 

“Riza,” he said gently back. “I don’t want a long-distance relationship.” He rounded the counter and walked closer to her. Their bodies nearly touched as his hands rested on her arms. “Look. If this is something that you want, then, I support you. If you don’t mind a long-distance relationship until we can organize things better, then I will support you.” 

But that wasn’t what Riza wanted. She didn’t want any of these limitations. It wasn’t what she imagined.  _ What did you imagine? That he’d get up and you two would move happily away into the sunset?  _ She frowned internally.  _ I assumed that he’d just quit anyway. But he doesn’t even know…  _

“This is just such a good thing, but I thought…” 

She could see the hurt in his eyes. She had failed him. Her mind went back to everything that they’d talked about, everything he’d done for her. He’d given her everything she needed. And now it was going to be her that left him at the house. Once again, they’d be apart. And she could see it in his eyes, the pain that consumed him by standing behind her on this. 

“We’d have to put off the wedding,” she whispered. “Fuck.” 

He nodded. “We can put it off for years if you need to. That doesn’t matter right now.” 

_ It does matter,  _ she cried out in her chest.  _ You’ve waited for years for me to say yes. It does matter!  _ “You want me to go?” What a complicated question. 

Roy grumbled as he let go of her arms and stepped back. “No. No, I don’t want you to go. But I want you to be happy.” 

There it was. The undeniable truth of Roy Mustang. He was always able to put others ahead of himself. And that was why the military ate him alive. That was why he was a good officer. It was a reason why she loved him. And it was working against her. It was conflicting to what they both wanted. Riza wasn’t even sure what to say. She let out a shallow sigh as she walked over to the couch and fell heavily into it. 

Roy followed her, sitting slowly next to her. “Sweetie, I’m not in a position to have choices. In nine months we can talk about me.” 

“I want to talk about you now,” she mumbled, staring and her interlacing fingers. 

“About me leaving?”

Riza looked up at his dark eyes. If the whole day of work didn’t weigh him down, she could see that the argument that drained him. “Have you thought about it?” 

He shrugged. “I have thought about it a bit, but I still have time. They might offer me a great reenlistment bonus.” 

“You’d stay for a bonus?” She looked doubtful. “That’s what’s important to you?” 

Roy chuckled, putting his hand on hers. “I’m in a very good position. I may not be up for a promotion for a couple of years, if at all, considering my lovely actions with the Generals, however, I am set up very nicely.” 

“They’ve done nothing for you,” she whispered her argument. 

“They’d done quite a bit for me. I’ve had more than enough of a stable work environment and getting paid more than I thought I would be.” His hand squeezed around hers. “There’s job security, and I like what I do. How many people can say that?” 

He’d said that before. “I want that too. Why can’t I have that too?”

Roy let go of her hands. “I want it for you too. The hard part is balancing it out. I can’t just get up and go.” 

“And you won’t leave?”  _ Even for me?  _ She grimaced as she thought that. It was so unlike her. This was unlike them. “This is stupid.” A slow drip of a tear slid down her cheek. 

Roy’s thumb wiped the tear. He frowned and nodded. “If it made you happy, I suppose I would.” 

“But I do want you to be happy,” she quickly argued, looking back at his face. “How is this fair?” 

“It’s not,” he chuckled. “And I don’t like it. At all.” He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt. 

“What do you want me to do,” she asked.  _ This whole time it’s been about you. What does he want?  _

Roy chuckled quietly. “I want you to take the job in Central.” He turned to walk into the bedroom. “But it isn’t about what I want. It’s about what you want,” he called out. 

Riza looked down at her thumbs fiddling with each other. 

“You don’t have to decide tonight,” he reminded. 

“You’re okay with this, now?”

“No,” he called back. “I’m not. But what can I do?” 

She hummed as she thought about that.  _ How many times has he had something happen that he wasn’t okay with but couldn’t change it?  _ He came out of the bedroom in sweats and a t-shirt.  _ Starting with the scar on his side. I’m sure he wasn’t okay with getting shot, but did the best he fought. There wasn’t much he could do about it.  _ “If I think about this, will you think about the reenlistment?” 

He nodded, reaching back into the fridge. “I don’t feel like cooking. You wouldn’t be opposed to pizza,” he asked. 

“No…”  _ At least that’s something that we can agree on.  _

It seemed as if it had been ultimately left for her to decide. She’d hoped that he’d help her organize her thoughts, only to look disappointed and helpless. It was more than obvious he was not happy about the situation, however, he’d said he would support her no matter what she decided upon. The idea of a long-distance relationship loomed in the back of her mind. So did the reluctance of his transfer. It felt awful to feel betrayal and denial and guilt at the same time. No matter how she worded it in her head, Riza’s heart grew heavier each day. 

* * *

Two days later Riza and Maria met up in their usual coffee spot to catch up with life. She needed it. She needed to talk to someone other than Roy about it. She’d bring it up and instantly, she could see the hurt in his eyes. 

“He just tells me to do what I want to do.” Riza leaned back in her seat and sipped her coffee. “But I know that’s not what he means.” 

“Maybe it is what he means,” Maria hummed. 

“I don’t think I could do three to six months without Maria,” Denny added, his head falling to his girlfriend’s shoulder. 

“Can you go anywhere without him,” Riza raised her eyebrow. 

“No. He’s stuck to me.” Maria rolled her eyes and put her latte on the table. “It doesn't help with the talk of your wedding.” 

The dirty blond-haired man dramatically fell back. “How is it that we have been in love longer but you won’t marry me?” 

“You should go into drama,” Riza grinned. 

“Is that what you want?” 

Riza turned her attention back to Maria and frowned. “I really want the job. I really do. This would mean so much to us, to me, and yet it’s him that’s holding me back.” 

“He’s not holding you back,” Denny corrected. “He’s holding your hand. I don’t doubt that he’d go with you, or do what he can to go with you.” 

“The military has a hold on him,” she argued. “And he says he doesn’t even know when he’s going to get out. He may sign up for another four years.” 

“I bet he doesn’t,” he said simply. “I bet by the time it all comes to head, he gets out.” 

Riza looked doubtful. 

“Think about it. He got royally screwed by the Generals that one time. You said that he’s still sour about that. He’s barred for a promotion for an unspecified time, and he’s struggling to spend time with you like moving to the East.” Denny raised a finger. “I have seen the way he looks at you, Riza. He loves you. And he’s not dumb in the least. He’s already weighing everything out, he just doesn’t want to argue with you. He wants to make the decision himself.” 

She looked down at her coffee and frowned. 

“I would put money on it.” Denny added. 

“But he’s doing something productive and contributes to the success of his nation,” she argued quietly. “He’s going to school and getting great benefits. There’s no reason for him to leave.” 

“You’re the reason,” Maria agreed with her boyfriend, curling her short dark hair behind her ear. 

“He didn’t sound too convincing,” she continued to argue. 

“You don’t sound so convincing either.” 

She looked up at her friend. 

“You want to choose him. You’re here asking me what to do because you want to find a reason not to pick him.” 

Maria hit the nail on the head. Riza sighed out her mouth and put her coffee on the table. “I’m supposed to give up this opportunity and pick the normal school?” 

“Isn’t that what you’d want of him? How is he any different from you as you are to him?” Maria smiled softly. “He’s right. You need to choose this yourself, but you need to do it for you. Is working at a normal school all that bad?” 

She supposed that it wasn’t. It was still a job right out of college, internship completed, and it was a school that offered the ability to teach more than just music. The difference was public versus private. 

“You can always move there later,” Denny added. 

She nodded slowly. 

“You’re about to be married in the spring.” 

She continued to nod. 

They went on talking to each other about Maria going to school for another two years, but Riza really didn’t hear them. She looked at her coffee and thought about what Maria had said. Roy would do anything for her. And if she did ask him to leave the military, she was sure he would. Or would he? However, it wasn’t fair to ask him to leave, and that was why he wanted to let her decide; because it was unfair to ask her to stay. It was up to her to want him. It was up to her to choose him. 

“Just marry me,” she heard Denny cry. 

“We’re not in a good position to get married,” Maria argued calmly, the opposite of Denny’s exaggerated cries. 

“Riza!” Denny turned to her. “Don’t you think we should get married?” 

Riza looked up from her coffee and looked at the two. “Yeah. Get married.”

Maria raised her hands in the air, defeated. “Some friend.” 

“What? You two are a better couple than most that I know… except Maes and Gracia,” she mumbled as she put her finger to her chin as she started thinking. 

“Those two are disgustingly in love,” Maria laughed. 

“That’s how I feel about you!” 

“Can we talk about this after I get my degree?” 

“Seriously,” Riza added. “Get married. Have babies, be normal.” 

* * *

He was in the other room when she got home. She could hear the scratching of pencils and his humming of the latest tune. Roy put 100% of himself into what he was doing. There was a beer cap on the counter which meant he was having a beer. It must have been a day for him. She dropped her bag and walked quietly to the spare room. He was sitting away from her, the shaggy head of hair bouncing to the nods of the music in his ears. He was wearing his sweats and an old t-shirt. With earphones in, he couldn’t hear her behind him. Though it would be fun to go up and scare him, she imagined it’d mess his draft up and he’d be more upset than usual. Instead, she walked over to him, putting her fingers over his shoulders, feeling him flinch as the touch. They exchanged smiles before he took his headphones out and leaned up to kiss her. 

“You’re working hard,” she commented, nodded towards his draft. 

“Naw,” he argued. “Nothing too strenuous. How was coffee?” 

“You need to start coming.” Riza leaned against the wall to the side so that they could look at each other comfortably. “Denny never leaves her side. You have to start doing your own boyfriend duties and never leave my side.” 

He shook his finger in disagreement. “That’d just irritate you,” he chuckled. “I know better.” He put his pencil down. “What did you talk about?” 

“Denny marrying Maria,” she giggled. “The two are adorable together, but Maria is not the marrying type.” 

“Ah,” Roy nodded, running his hand through his hair. 

She pointed to the beer. “Rough day?” 

“No,” he shook his head gently. “Rough day means that it was rougher than usual.” He reached out to take a swig of it. 

She wanted to say that if it was so hard, he should be wanting to escape it, but kept it to herself. She wasn’t going to egg that on. “You’ll get it,” she encouraged. 

Roy nodded, standing up. “Balancing all of that and school has been a challenge, that’s for sure.” 

“If anyone could do it, it’d be you!” 

“Naw,” he shook his head, following her into the living room. “I’m barely making it.” 

“I don’t believe that for a second.” 

He grabbed her from behind before she could turn into the kitchen. “I have other things I need to do before I can do the rest of my homework.” 

Riza laughed, leaning her head back to his chest. “Well, I’m getting some food before I do anything else.” 

He groaned as he let her step out of his arms. She enjoyed the attention anyhow. She got out the sandwich meat and cheese. They set about making their own sandwiches, Roy talking about how he hadn’t been in the training field for over a month and it was driving him nuts. He wasn’t an office guy and she found it hilarious that he was studying a job that literally was sitting behind a desk all day. “It makes me bored just looking at files, and requests, and bullshit.” She listened, even if it was half-heartedly. “I’m wondering if I will ever be free of paperwork and be allowed to see the sun again.” He sighed before putting a chip in his mouth. “Or I need to request an office with a window. I miss the sun.” 

“Well, class was boring. A window would have left me daydreaming.” She chuckled. “Did you hear back to know if they were sending you to the West for training?” 

He shrugged with his mouth full. 

“That’s not a nod or shake of the head.” 

He put up a finger and finished chewing. “It’s still in the talking process.” 

“Do you know when you’d know?” 

Another shrug. “I know they are working out details for the North training session.” 

“Oh God,” she moaned before taking a bit of her sandwich. 

He laughed. “You don’t want to go with me this year?”

“No,” she mumbled with her mouth full.

Roy laughed loudly. “I don’t think I will be going west.”

She nodded. “How’s your side?” She nodded towards his side. 

“Funny you should ask that considering my Lieutenant Colonel asked me today.” He popped a chip in his mouth. “Physical Therapy is coming to a close. They said that it’s doing great and it’s reacting as it should.” He scratched the side of his face. “The doctor is always adamant about telling me how lucky I was.” 

“You were,” she insisted. 

“It’s been a long time healing,” he grinned. “The hard work is paying off.” 

“Glad to hear.” She knew that he’d been doing well, but wounds like that didn’t heal in a year. Though he didn’t show it, Riza suspected that he’d be seeing the doctor for the rest of the year just to check up on it. “Your birthday is coming up. Do you have an idea of what you want or what you want to do?” 

Roy shook his head with his mouth full. 

“Maybe have a party with friends?” 

A shrug. 

_ All shrugs tonight, huh?  _ “Do you want to go play mini-golf and have sodas by the river?” 

He looked up at her, gulping down the food. “Surprise me.” 

She grinned. “I told you that once…” 

“And you liked the answer.” 

They stared at each other, trying to read one another. Roy broke first as he put his food down. “I have to go in early tomorrow. I figured I’d run.” 

“You’re not going to get any sleep,” she gasped. “I will wake up and take you.” 

“I could use a run,” he quickly objected. 

“Roy-” 

“Riza, it’s fine.” He walked around the counter to her. He always had this devious look in his eyes, like he was eating her up in his imagination. A hand reached up and pulled her sandwich from her fingers and put it back on the plate. “I didn’t plan on getting any rest anyway.” 

“You’re naughty,” she snickered. 

“You like it.” 

She could have turned from him and told him to eat the rest of his dinner, or insisted that sleep was more important, but Riza didn’t. She let him brush her bangs from her face, cupping her jaw. However, it was her to meet his lips. It was gentle, borderline innocent. The slip of their lips and the brushing of their noses were anything but. As they pulled back to part, Roy pushed forward again. It wasn’t enough to put her into the counter, or even suffocating, but Riza knew that he wasn’t done with her yet. He smiled in the kiss and she giggled. Hands traveled to her sides and his kisses drifted down to her jawline. 

“You’re cuddly,” she giggled, lifting her chin to allow him access to her neck. 

Roy took it, delicately pecking his way to her collarbone. “It’s been a while,” he whined. “I’ve missed you.” 

Her fingers ran through his hair and Roy groaned. It was a small weakness of his. “I still have to do dishes and you’re not done with your dinner.” 

“They can wait. I’ll do dishes later.” His hands were all over her all at once. “You know what it’s like sitting in a windowless office and thinking about you?” 

“I know what it’s like sitting in class thinking about you?” 

He pulled back with a wide grin. “Am I naked in your daydreams too?” 

Riza gasped, even though she figured so. She slapped his chest. “You think about me naked? You pervert!” 

He laughed loudly pulling her closer. “You’re always naked in my daydreams.” 

Riza pulled her shirt up and over her head, stepping back from him to give him a show. Once the shirt was off she tossed it into the living room. “Naked like this?” 

“More,” he encouraged. 

Her fingers slowly unbuttoned her pants. 

“More.” 

Sliding the pants down and over her hips. 

“More.” 

He made her feel wanted in the most sensual way. Just in a few seconds, and a few words, she felt her knees weak to be with him. All she had to do to him was run her finger over his back, along his shoulders, and he’d follow her anywhere. They were so attracted that only a touch was enough to lure the other. For a stressful day, knowing that he was thinking about her naked turned her on greatly. They were anything but ordinary.  _ We are us,  _ she thought, slipped the pants from her feet with the other foot. 

“More.” 

With a flick of her foot, she tossed her pants towards him. It didn’t deter him in the least as he grabbed them and were easily tossed behind him. He held a sideways grin, stepping towards her in a predatory fashion. Riza took a step back, smiling back at his approach. Turning to put her back to the counter, she expected anything. Roy wasn’t always predictable in these situations. As random and spontaneous that Riza was, it was a big turn on to not know what she was getting herself into. He stepped up to her enough that she could feel his arousal against her thigh. Her heart beat louder in her ears as her mouth watered. 

Roy’s lips pressed against her temple as their bodies connected tightly. “More,” he whispered against her ear. 

It was his turn though. She wasn’t going to be the only one in her underwear. One fist grasped his shirt while the other his pants. With tight fingers, she pulled back at his sweatpants and popped them back to his waist. “More,” she whispered back. 

“You’re going to have to help me.” His hands landed on the counter as he leaned back giving her room. 

Looking down, she could now see the large bulge that made her swallow the excess spit in her mouth and she had to keep her hands from shaking with excitement. Looking up and seeing his eyebrows raised, Riza knew that he knew what he was doing to her. She slowly squatted, her index fingers hooking into his pants and pulling them down with her.  _ Boxerless.  _ Riza had to laugh at herself.  _ Almost like he planned this.  _ With his pants falling to his ankles, she let her hand grasp his long erection. “Huh,” she said simply. “I didn’t know you had dinner in your pants or I wouldn’t have filled up with a sandwich."

She heard his gasp and with a quick look up, she saw his fingers were white while holding the table. Even with his eyes shut tightly, he still had a happy grin at the attention she was giving him. She gave him a few pumps of her hand before slipping her lips over him. A deep moan followed immediately after. Instant satisfaction for Riza. She brushed her bangs from her face as she sucked him in. Her tongue swirling around his head for a moment before sucking on him like a sucker. It was hard to take in all of him and she receded to put her hand in place. 

“Yeah,” he moaned deeply. “Oh…” 

She went as far as she could before sucking hard, sucking as she pulled from him. Her hand would slide up and down a few times before she’d go back down, taking him as far as she could. A few times she’d lick his head, teasing it with her lips as she slightly and lightly put her lips over it. Then she’d roll down on him. The closer to the base the tighter her lips held, coming back to his tip with the same pressure. 

“Riza,” he gasped. 

She could feel the shake in his hips as he wanted to thrust forward but didn’t. She pulled him one way with her lips, stretching him to the left side, then the right. She tilted him down, then sucked him tightly and brought him up towards his abs. 

“Riza,” he moaned. 

Again, she moved him high and to the right, then to the left, then center to his abs. He pulsed, bringing more blood to his dick in her mouth. Riza could have sworn he was getting a little bigger. Her hand reached up, grabbing his balls but before she could do anything with them, He pulled away, grabbing it himself. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, his chest rising and falling as if he’d ran a marathon. 

She stood up with a grin of satisfaction on her face. Riza reached behind, unclipping her bra and walked around the counter, dropping it as she walked away from him. One step at a time, she walked towards the bedroom, not looking back to see if he was watching, or even following. She knew he was. He’d be watching her, mesmerized by her swaying ass before remembering that he had to follow her in order to be part of the experience. When she got to the bedroom, she jumped on the bed, rolling over to see him leaning against the doorframe. “You can’t touch me from there,” she enticed. 

“You have me so bad, I’m not sure if touching is a good idea.” 

Riza reached down to feel herself wettening. “Then I’ll just have to touch myself.” 

She could have sworn to see Roy shudder with excitement. 

Her index finger rubbed circles around her clit while she let out a small moan, before slipping down and into herself. The blowjob she gave him made her aroused too. She let out a more high pitched sound of pleasure as her finger slipped inside her with no resistance. Her eyes never left Roy who was holding his dick in hand, just eyes on her. Slowly she inserted her fingers, touching the inside walls, rolling her wrists to rub her inner walls. Her exasperations were not fake. Neither was the sweat sliding down his brow. After a couple times of sliding in and out, rubbing her sweet spot with tender, and teasing, care, Riza inserted two fingers. Roy’s Adam’s apple bobbed. She felt the stretch and she resisted falling back with the “ahh” that she let out in a breath. “I think I’m going to need someone’s help here.” 

Roy didn’t seem to register it at first. He was too busy being frozen in the doorway, watching her fingers. After a second or two he looked up and blinked at her. 

“I can’t do this by myself,” she continued. “I could… It’s just not as fun.” 

Roy grinned to the side as he walked towards her. “Rollover,” he ordered. 

Riza complied immediately. Being sure to wave her ass at him. It drove him wild and she knew it. He ran his dick between her folds and Riza moaned. “Stop playing around.”

Two fingers were not enough to stretch herself out for him. It was divine to feel him enter her at such an angle. His hands gripped her ass tightly as she heard him moan loudly. 

“Fuck yes,” he groaned. 

A high pitched whine and moan involuntarily slipped out and he pressed as deep as he could go. She went from zero to ten in four seconds. As she tightened around him, he pressed as deep as he could go. They weren’t hard thrusts, but slow and taunting. Bringing his tip to her entrance and slipping as deep as he could. Riza gripped the blanket under her, trying not to scream. She should have, it’d driven his ego to the ceiling. Instead, he heard her scream through the balled-up sheets that she held in her hand. It must have done something because the thrusts got faster. She hit the mattress. It was uncontrollable. He was the master of her, careful to lure her to an explosion of pleasure. He knew exactly what he was doing. He bent over her, extending to a different angle for both of them, running his hands down her back. 

“Roy,” she called out. “Roy!”

“Yeah,” he groaned, thrusting harder and deeper. 

“Roy!” 

He stopped, pulling out of her and grinned. 

“You fucking asshole,” she called out, turning around. 

He laughed. She could see his body sweating. “I can’t kiss you from that angle,” he shrugged. His body drove towards her, grabbing her legs and pulling her on her back towards him. With an assist from his hand, he entered her again. Riza’s back arch as he fell forward. Her legs quickly wrapped around him, her hands around to his back. 

“Careful,” he warned as he teased her with more slow movements. “I have to go to the gym tomorrow. Are you sure you want to mark up my back?” 

She arched her back again, dropping her hips. He stopped moving. She knew she had her own power over him. His body dropped against her, abs contracting, pivoting his pelvis against hers. They moaned in the kiss, loudly, and unashamed of the burning pleasure. Indeed, Riza wasn’t mindful of his back as her nails gripped his firm shoulders. Now he dug harder into her, picking up the power and the speed. If she wasn’t close before, she was thrown overboard now. Her hips curled inward, accepting him. She crunched, putting her forehead against his shoulder as her body shivered with the convulsion that started in between her legs and radiated outward. He kept moving at the same rate as he said her name, spilling inside her. She could feel the warmth as he pressed harder still into her. It didn’t last a few seconds. It was as if it could go on for minutes. But her body couldn’t. The radiating excitement of her excited cells would have to come to a stop, collapsing under him. Before she could say anything, Roy kissed her forcefully, groaning against her. 

“I fucking love you,” he breathed on her lips. 

She gasped a deep breath before he pressed his lips roughly against hers. It wasn’t one-sided, Riza’s arms and hands looped up to his shoulders and pulled him against her. He was right, he couldn’t kiss her doing doggy-style. Coming down from a heavenly release, they found themselves still lost with each other. It wasn’t until their lungs burned did Roy lift himself. He had amazing dark eyes. Even with them being dark as night, she still saw a world of adoration in them. One could always see his true feelings by looking into his eyes. It was a giveaway. “I love you,” he said again. 

“I love you too,” she breathed. 

It was easy to just lay there, side by side, staring at the ceiling, staring at the heavens which they fell from. “Someone has to turn off the lights,” he groaned, looking up at the doorway. 

“You said you’d do dishes.” 

“I didn’t say when.” 

She sat up and reached for some sweats on the floor. “We can’t leave food on the counter. Come on.” 

“Did you not see what I just did,” he called as she walked out the door. “That was a full-on workout I just did!” 

“Get up and help me,” she ordered. 

A groan later and a naked Roy came out and into the living room. Whether he was angry or not, he played the part as he picked up his shirt and pants in the kitchen. But he was good about doing the dishes. And the good mood didn’t falter as he flicked her with water from the sink. It didn’t mean that they were going to stay up. As soon as the dishes were done, Roy made a bee-line back to the bedroom. Riza couldn’t argue with that. He’d have to wake up early anyhow and they had failed to enter a proper cuddle session. She was going to cash in on that now. 

She curled up to his chest, hearing him sigh, his body relaxing under her touch. From her head on his shoulder, she could feel his strong and steady heartbeat. His warmth radiated to her hand which rested on his sternum. His breath was soft, slow, as he brought himself down into a sleeping state. But Riza had time to think now. She was able to lay there and let her thoughts weave in and out in the darkness. Normally where she was able to close her eyes and let his heart sing her a lullaby, Riza laid there and wondered what she would do without this.  _ I can’t. I can’t do without him.  _ She tried to argue that it was the surge of dopamine or the fact that it was true love, but she couldn’t do it without him. Asking him to let her go was unfair. 

“I’ve been thinking about the school in East City,” she whispered. 

“Hm?” It was light, almost unnoticeable if she wasn’t waiting for it. 

“Maria and I talked about it, and I’ve really given it some thought.” 

“And?” His eyes didn’t open, his body didn’t flinch. 

“I’m not going to take it. I’m going to call Rockbell High and accept the job there.” 

“Are you sure?” 

She nodded against his shoulder. 

“Don’t do it because of me.” He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to look down on her. 

“I’m not. It’s because I can’t be without you.”  _ Some of it is because of you.  _

“Okay,” he whispered with a smile. “I will support you either way. But if this would make you happy, I will be happy.” 

“I’m happy,” she whispered back. Her mind silenced and she closed her eyes. “I’m happy with you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a perfect blend of angst and fluffy smut smut. 
> 
> Side story... I accidentally sent this to my mother in law. So... if any of you are wondering. It's mother in law approved. Not that it made me barf a little and want to die a little more. Thought you'd all enjoy that story... 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I'm off to slave over the next chapter and to look like I'm working at work. I only have 4 billion key cards to clean. I love COVID more and more everyday.


	23. Roy's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy gets a happy surprise for his birthday, and a not so happy one too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, Rando! Thanks for the Beta. You're awesome, Man!

“Are you kidding me?”

“Yes, Major. I’m hilarious.” Colonel Fairbanks put the file on his desk as he stared seriously at Roy. “Have these filled out by the end of the week.” He tapped the top of the cream-colored folder with his finger before turning and walking out of the office. 

“This is…” Roy watched him leave. “Fuck,” he grumbled. It was just another folder to add to his pile. It was to the point he was tempted to take the documents, no matter how much of a no-no it was, home and do some work there. It was going to be the longest week of his life and it was only Tuesday. He still needed to overlook training by Stephens and Hotchkiss. “I should be having them do this shit.” He grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door. Slipping each arm through its sleeve, he was nearly run over by Maes. 

“Hey! Roy!” 

Roy looked down to see a slice of cake in his hand. 

“Happy birthday!” Maes lifted his other hand, throwing a handful of confetti in his face. Roy puffed a colored piece of paper from his lips. “And cake!” 

“I see that.” Roy took the cake, going back into his office. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“You were born,” Maes exclaimed. 

He snorted. “Just one slice? Where’s the rest?”

Maes laughed nervously, smiling guiltily, as he scratched the back of his head. “I ate it.” 

Roy glared at his friend. “Some birthday.” 

“Hey! I saved you a slice!” 

Roy brushed the rest of the confetti from his hair. “Do me a birthday wish and do some of this paperwork for me while I go watch some training.” 

“No go,” Maes argued quickly. “You know how that is!” 

That was a true statement. It still didn’t hurt to ask. 

“What big plans do you have tonight?” 

Roy shrugged, wiping some frosting from the cake and sucking it off his finger. “Riza said that she had something planned. All she’d have to do is get me a steak and a beer and I’d be happy.” 

“Jean and I want to take you out.” Mae’s leaned against the doorframe. “It’s been a while since we got you good and drunk.” 

As much as that appealed to Roy, he was too buried in work to want to do anything but sleep when he got home. Maybe it was the coming of winter, the falling leaves, and the constant rain, but Roy didn’t want to do anything. “I have so much work,” he muttered. “We’ll see. Is Jean still in town?” 

Maes nodded, folding his arms. “I think he’s staying with a cousin. We got to talking and he decided to stick around and spend some time with his Central family.” 

“He’s always been a good family member.” Roy nodded gently. “And they seem to like him.” 

Maes chuckled. “He looked good.” 

“He looked really good,” Roy readily agreed. “He’s not limping so hard. He told me that his diet was normalizing too.” 

“That’s what he told me. They took enough out of him, I was wondering if he’d be eating normally.” 

“Jean’s tough,” he added. “The guy is a rock.” He sighed through his nose. “Well, good.” Roy set the cake on his desk, giving it one more look. “I think I can manage drinks Friday night. I will see if Riza will come drag my ass home.” 

“What are fiance’s for?” 

Roy laughed loudly. “Does Gracia know that you’ve said that?” 

“Wife,” Maes corrected. “I married her as soon as that happened.”

“You married her before she knew you snored.” 

“Do you have a date yet?” 

Roy shrugged. “I think sometime in the spring.” 

“That’s soon. You two rushing for a reason?” Maes grinned. 

“No. It’s going to be small. We just want certain people there.” 

“Like me?”

“Like you.” 

Maes nodded approvingly with a boyish grin on his face. 

“We just want it to be simple. She wants it simple.” Roy nodded slowly with a gentle smile. 

“You two are adorable,” his friend said quietly. “Well. You better actually go to work. I’ll get with you Thursday and we will figure Friday out, huh?”

“Sure thing,” Roy nodded, waving as Maes walked out of the doorway and down the hall. He took one long look at the cake before getting up and locking his door behind him. 

The training was on the Sternal IO IV. He just needed to pop his head in and check on everyone. It was amusing if anything. 

“Is this going to hurt?” 

“Only if you’re a baby.” 

“Holy shit, look at that thing!” 

“Wait… You’re going to put that in my sternum?” 

Roy felt his chest as he remembered his. He didn’t even feel it. He was unconscious during that time. “Pay attention,” he ordered. 

“Straighten your arms,” Second Lieutenant Falman ordered as he showed the team, putting the needles up to the soldier’s chest. “You have to put a lot of force all at once to get it in there properly.”

“This is going to kill you, Roberts.” 

“The sternum is a thick bone. You really got to lean on it.” Falman positioned himself over the “volunteer” 

Roy never got over watching the privates learn new techniques. It always freaked them out. “Wait until you have to do one in the shin,” he commented firmly. “Private Diego, we can do it on you next.” 

“What?” The nineteen-year-old paled. 

A pop and grunt later, they all let their jaws fall into the lap. “The trick is removing it.” Falman grinned, patting Roberts’ shoulder, handing the IV bag to another soldier. “Here hold that.” 

Roy made his way down the training hall to the gym. He peeked in to see his Staff Sergeant standing in front of about fifteen men doing burpees with gear on. “Sergeant Kanab,” he said as he crossed his arms and walked into the gym. “What pleasure do you have to torture these poor souls?” 

“Ah, Major.” Kanab greeted with a salute. He turned to the group. “Stand and salute the ranking officer!” 

The men gasped as they stood as close to attention as possible and saluted. 

“You’re having way too much fun.” 

Kanab looked them over before turning back to the gasping men. Roy saluted back to relieve them, only to watch then slouch over and groan. “These are our fine armory boys. I went down there to retrieve some ammo only to find the place quite disorganized.” 

Roy nodded. “You guys know how important it is to keep that stuff organized?”

“Yes Sir,” a few answered between breaths. 

“Where’s their officer?”

“Oh,” Kanab grinned. “He took the day off.” 

“Write up a report. Colonel is going to know too.” He turned back to the privates. “Being in the armory, they should know how to clean the guns too.” 

They nodded. 

Roy waved at Kanab as he walked out. “Go easy on them,” he called over his shoulder, turning down the hall. No matter where he looked, he could not find First Lieutenant Stephens. He checked several areas, including the pool area to find other classes going on, but not Stephens’s. He grumbled, not pleased to know his officer was missing. It was a bigger headache than he needed. Pulling out his cell, Roy was even more unhappy when the phone went directly to voicemail. 

“He was last seen in classroom K220,” one soldier replied. 

Roy made his way there. Stephens was huddled down, going through some papers on the large table. As Roy entered, Lieutenant Stephens stood up and saluted. 

“You’re a hard man to find,” Roy scorned, giving a lazy salute in return. 

“I was going over the training procedure for tonight. The regulations are pretty loose.” 

Roy nodded as he looked down at a few of the pieces of paper. “I noticed that too.” He tossed the paper back onto the table. “However, you know the expectations.”

“Yeah,” his Lieutenant picked up another piece of paper. “So, I’m left with an open agenda.” 

Roy looked to see a sign off on two helicopters. He remembered reading that thirty men were going back. “This is a large party for a survival exercise. This should be simple.” 

“Yes, But we are splitting them up with twenty-four hours to find extrication points.” Stephens then handed him another paper. “We are going to have two officers for every fifteen men too.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow. Fifteen of the men were his and two the officers were his also. “I thought that we had officers setting up the extraction points, not assisting in the survival exercise.” 

Stephens shook his head. “No. That’s what I’m confused about. These orders are vague.”

Roy sat in a chair. He had signed off on this exercise over a week ago, even helped ensure there were enough supplies for it, however, he didn’t see how loose it was. It escaped him. Roy didn’t think he would have approved it if he had noticed that it was not well organized. “Colonel’s name is on this. I know it went all the way up to his desk. So he knows.” 

Stephens looked up from the map he was examining. 

“I believe in you. And it does look like Major Warren will be with you on the way out. It seems like he has been assigned to the briefing.” 

“I’d prefer you, Sir.” 

Roy nodded. But he wasn’t going. Stephens was on his own. “I have faith in your capabilities, Lieutenant. And this is a routine exercise. The abundance of officers doesn’t mean that it’s dangerous.”

“I didn’t think so. It’s just not routine.” 

Roy nodded. “I want to make sure that you got enough sleep. Do not stay here and fret. I wanted to make certain that you were understanding this and had everything you needed.” 

Stephens nodded, pulling the papers together. As irregular as it was, Roy wasn’t worried. It wasn’t one that was originally organized under his command so it was out of his hands. Lieutenant Stephens was a more than capable officer. He wasn’t worried about the intentions. 

The last hour was spent looking at his cake as he filled out another report and tossed it in a pile. “I don’t know why Colonel can’t do these reports,” he muttered. “Lazy bastard. I bet he’s off flirting with the girls on the fourth floor.” He rubbed his forehead. It was about time for him to get out anyway. He could lock up and walk slowly to the door. Whatever Riza had planned he was greatly looking forward to. It could be a spa treatment, or go-carts, Roy didn’t care. It wasn’t at work and it was with her. His mind began to wander as he did wonder what she was up to. She wouldn’t bother him with something he didn’t like, so a spa day was unlikely. He wouldn’t doubt that she’d insist on going out, or maybe she’d have tickets to a soccer game. The game started at six-thirty. They could make it. 

He mingled, waited the extra fifteen minutes before clocking out and walking out to his car. Instantly he saw a note on his windshield. “A scavenger hunt,” he laughed. As he turned to open his door and pick up the paper. “Though it’s easy to get lost in them, we found each other in them,” Roy said out loud slowly. He repeated it again. “The clue is where we could get lost, but we fell in love?” Roy sat in the driver’s seat, still thinking about what she was talking about. There weren’t very many places that he could feel he could get lost in. The mall was surely big, but he didn’t get lost in it. Central Command he used to get lost in, and she’d easily get lost in, but they didn’t find themselves in it. That was past tense.  _ So where did we find each other before that others….  _ He started the car. He wasn’t sure where he was going to go, but maybe driving around would help him think. 

He wasn’t too fond of scavenger hunts. It wasn’t that Roy could figure them out, but he found them a bit childish. He turned right. Looking towards his left he saw one of the parks that he liked to run through. Tall trees that lined the dirt trail. It wasn’t  _ their _ forest, but it was somewhere they frequented often. Swinging his car around, he parked it nearby. There had to be a clue nearby.  _ Where did you put the clue?  _ And maybe he was wrong. His stomach sank as he looked on the outskirts for any sign of Riza’s little game. Then he saw it. There was a little red line, a string, tied to a branch. “A red string…” Roy looked around before looking back at the string. “A red… string…” Reaching up he untied it and looked at it in his hands. “Either this is what she’s up to or I’m going to spend all day rolling up string that’s for another use.” 

The red yawn weaved back and forth along the bushes and tree branches. He followed it, wrapping it around his hand as he went. It weaved between and around a park bench, and iron bars. Roy followed it diligently. He could imagine her watching him, sitting up in some tree-like she would have as a child and watched him follow a little red yawn around the wooded area. At one point it strayed from the trail.  _ It’s probably a string that was strung along here for days and the wind has done all this.  _ And yet, Roy still followed it. 

It must have looked ridiculous to an onlooker. There was an officer of the military, bent over and following a red string. Either it was a task of his, or he had too much time on his hands. The wrapped string turned into a ball and Roy was sure that he had walked over a mile. The ball was getting large.  _ How much string does she intend me to follow? The _ park itself was three miles apart, however, the line was not straight in the least.  _ She could have had a child run circles around here.  _

“Excuse me, Sir.” 

Roy turned around and saw a police officer walking towards him from the direction of the string. He looked down at his hand, which held a larger than normal skein of yarn. “Fuck,” he muttered. 

“Is this your doing?” The officer waved his hand at the line Roy had been following. 

Of course he wasn’t going to say that his girlfriend was the culprit. For one, it was unlikely that anyone would believe him, and it was like telling an officer that the drugs in his car weren’t his. 

“This is littering.” 

_ Can you not see I’m cleaning this up?  _ “I’m actually cleaning -”

The officer looked at the string in his hand, pointing at the ball with his pen. “This is a hundred cenz fine.” 

_ I wonder how unethical it is to pull my rank? I’m in freaking uniform. _

The police officer opened his ticket book. “By the looks of it, you’re a major,” the officer commented. 

“I am,” Roy crossed his arms. 

“And you’re in the park littering. This country deserves better from ranking officers like you.” 

“I’m not littering!” 

“That’s not what it looks like. Are you also going to tell me that it’s not your string?”

_ That’s why I didn’t want to argue this.  _ “I’m …. This is ridiculous,” he muttered. He wasn’t going to argue this even if it wasn’t true. “You haven’t seen a blonde chick at the end of this line have you?”  _ Maybe you could do a police thing and do an investigation.  _ Another thought was to threaten the officer’s career with Mae’s position. 

The officer raised his eyebrow. 

“Nevermind.” Roy sighed. He reached out to take the yellow slip from the officer. “Thank you officer.” He grumbled, shoving it in his pocket.  _ This is going to disappear.  _ He turned sharply and continued to roll the string up as he veered off trail and into the brush once more.  _ See officer,  _ the thought with a snort.  _ Some littering I’m doing. I’m picking up my girlfriend’s mess!  _

The trail was getting wider as the first clearing appeared. A paved sidewalk veered right with the string heading left.  _ The dog park is this way.  _ Roy stopped mid-step, eye wide.  _ She got a fucking puppy.  _ Not that he wouldn’t want a dog. It had come up in conversation. However, it wasn’t the best time in their lives for a dog. For as spontaneous as Riza was, she was far from stupid.  _ That just means she’d get me a smart dog.  _

Roy was reaching up and untangling it from a branch when he looked through a clearing to see a familiar blonde head. There she was. On a swing, swaying back and forth, she waved at him. She had on jeans, with a light shirt and a dark jacket to protect her from the chill of the fall day. Suddenly, the long walk didn’t matter. He wrapped the remaining string into a spool, never taking his eyes of hers. They seemed to laugh with her innocent smile. “You have quite the sense of humor,” he snickered, tossing the soccer ball-sized yarn skein at her but missing.

“I didn’t want it to be easy,” she grinned. 

Roy pulled her swing to him. “So, you decided to drive me insane for my birthday?” 

Riza leaned forward, wrapping her legs around his waist. “Pretty much.” 

“You do know that I have to walk back that way to get my car right?” He let her flick the gold buttons on his jacket. He bent over, inching his face closer to her, narrowing the space down to a breath. 

“Yeah. But it was worth it,” she let go, leaning down to pick up a white paper bag. “Here,” she said as she gave it to him. “Happy Birthday.” 

Roy sighed, standing up and taking the bag. There were grease stains on the bottom and he was sure it was some kind of food. Looking inside he had to grin. 

“I went by The Station and picked you up your favorite burger.” 

Next to it was a side of fries, home cut with a special seasoning. “Oh how I need this.” 

She picked up her own bag and opened it. “Over there is a mini-golf course. We can go over there and play a round.” 

“It’s a bit cold for mini-golf,” he remarked with his mouth full. Roy sat in the swing next to her, pushing off the ground to swing back and forth softly. 

“There’s hot cocoa,” she snickered. “Or we can go home and eat cake.” 

He stopped chewing to grin with a side smile. 

“I mean, cake is cake right?” 

He nodded slowly. “I don’t have to follow a blue string for cake do I?” 

Riza laughed loudly. “Damn, I should have thought of that!” 

They sat quietly, chewing on their food and watching a few kids in coats run by. “At least it’s not raining,” he said with the last bite of his burger. “What would you have done then?”

“Oh, I would have left you clues all over.”

_ Scavenger hunt.  _ “You know that I didn’t need any of this,” he said softly, tossing his white bag to the side. He’d probably get cited for littering again. “I just wanted to come home to you.” 

“The string was for me,” she snickered. “What I have at home if for you.” 

“What do you have at home?”

“It’s a fancy word,” she snickered. “But it comes in Amestrian blue.” She raised her eyebrows. “I think you will like it.” 

Roy lifted his eyebrows. “I’m guessing it’s not the cake.” 

Riza shook her head slowly. “I’m not sure why it’s considered clothing.” She put her finger to her chin. “It doesn’t cover anything up.” 

He grinned. “Then I guess we best be getting home!” 

He watched her stand up and grab the trash. “It’s not even that comfortable to wear,” she added. “I’m going to be happy to have you take it off me.” 

Roy stopped in place as his body blazed with heat and his groin was more than happy. 

They fell in step as they made their way back to his car holding hands, walking casually as if it was just an afternoon stroll. The sun was getting ready to set, and the evening chill was starting to creep in. 

Soon he heard a heavy sigh next to him. It was Riza’s turn to grump as she had to walk all the way back. This was more than amusing to him. “I didn’t expect to walk it twice!” 

He still chuckled nonetheless, holding her hand tighter. “If it’s any better, if I had to walk this twice, which I am, I’d want to do it with you.” 

She looked up at him with a smile. 

“And it makes the cake so worth it.” 

“You are so worth it.” 

“I’m so blaming you for this,” she sighed. 

“How is this my fault?” He looked shocked at her. “You’re the one that ran the line!” 

“Because you said to surprise you for  _ your  _ birthday.” 

“Hey!” He raised his hands in innocence. “You said to surprise  _ you _ , and it turned out amazing.” 

Riza stopped and put her hands on her hips. “And this wasn't amazing?” 

Roy blinked. “It was! I totally enjoyed following a red string all over the park.” 

“You’re being sarcastic!” She pointed to his face. “Asshole!” 

Roy laughed as he started walking again. “I will admit, I never thought about doing something like this. I’ll remember it for later.” 

He heard her laugh lightly behind him as she caught up. “Wait until you see the celebration. I invited all your friends.” 

Roy turned to her with a frown. “I thought I was getting you all to yourself.” 

“It’s not today! You have to wait till this weekend.” 

“Speaking of parties,” he chuckled. “Have you thought any more about the wedding?” 

She shook her head, reaching again for his hand. Their fingers interlaced and their arms fell into a gentle swing. “Most of the family and friends will be on your side.” 

Roy frowned. She had bare walls when she was at the dorm, and now she had a bare side coming to her wedding. 

“You have Maria and Denny.” 

She snickered. 

“And I’m sure Sheska will come. Have you heard from her in a while?”

Riza nodded. 

“How about I invite Maes and Gracia, and my Aunt….” 

“And all your sisters.” 

Roy looked at the ground. “Jean will want to go too.” 

She sighed. 

“You know that no one else needs to be there, right?” His hand squeezed hers. “It doesn’t matter to me if there’s even a minister. We don’t even have to get married. We can just put rings on our fingers and live the rest of our lives like that.” His eyes opened wide. “Which reminds me. Your ring has been fitted. It can be picked up tomorrow. They called me.” 

She lifted her head with a smile. 

“See,” he nodded. “That’s the best birthday present.” 

It was almost dark when they did get home. Sure enough, there was a small chocolate cake on the counter. It wasn’t the chocolate cake that he was so interested in unless he was thinking about licking the chocolate off-

“I’m never doing that again.” Roy looked over at Riza who was kicking off her shoes. “So not worth it.” 

He’d argue that walking wasn’t that bad considering that he ran that mostly every day at the gym, however, the length of the activity versus going home was a bit excessive. A birthday beer would have been fine. Actually… “What were you saying about being uncomfortable,” Roy raised his eyebrow as his girlfriend. 

Riza stood up with a grin. “So uncomfortable.” 

Roy took the few steps that it’d take to get to her and reached behind to grab her behind. Their noses brushed up against each other, their breath hot on each other’s lips. There was a dark sense of playfulness in her brown eyes, calling to rip her clothes off and never make it to the bedroom. It was a tempting calling. His hands squeezed her cheeks as his nose pressed against hers so their lips could touch. “Let me relieve you of this source of uncomfort,” he breathed. His hands reached down, grabbing her thighs. In one motion, Riza hopped up and wrapped her legs around his waist as Roy held her up. Their lips met with a solid force and Roy turned them to press her against the door. How he wanted her. 

Riza’s head fell back, exposing her neck which Roy took graciously. He kissed roughly along her jaw and down her artery. He sucked at the base of her neck, listening to her gasp at the stimulation. Roy wanted to reach down and undo his pants, just let them drop to the ground. But her pants needed to come off too. This wouldn’t work. He was going to have to dump her on the bed. He thrust up against her, grinning as she moaned lightly. Lips tangled as they gasped and moaned against each other. Her hands grasped his hair, Roy not moving from sucking on her neck as her fingers pulled roughly through it. All Roy could think about was that blue lingerie that was hiding under her clothes. With a steady hand, he slipped under her shirt and reached up just to feel her, feeling her warm skin twitch under his fingers. There, on her breast, he felt a soft lace waiting for him. It made him pulse, almost coming undone in his pants. His hand on her thigh tightened and he groaned. 

“Hold on,” he growled, pulling her from the wall. Her legs quickly wrapped around his waist as he turned to go into the bedroom. Two steps into it he stopped and turned back. Hurried, he rushed to the counter. “Grab that cake,” he ordered softly. 

She laughed as she did as she was told. “Going to have your cake and eat it too?” 

“And eat you,” he chuckled. Even with the cake between them, his lips still found hers. The string, the stressful day, and even the absence of his beer was forgotten as he carried his best friend into their bedroom. He dropped her on the bed, pulling his shirt over his head. There were only a few seconds that he took to look down at her. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He thought it back when they were in grade school, and the feeling had never changed. He’d been with other women, he’d seen other relationships. It was always her that he’d dreamed about. She looked dangerously back at him, daring him to come to her. His cells begged him to do so. 

Roy leaned over, putting a hand on the cake while the other was by her waist. Pulling the cake from her grasp, he leaned into her to kiss her again. There weren't enough kisses to fill his soul. There wasn’t enough skin to touch. There weren’t enough mornings to wake up next to her. Hovering over her, he lost himself in her brown eyes. It was a forest of redwoods, dark and majestic, and the only place he could appreciate the grandeur of beauty that she, the holder of this heaven, truly was. Slowly, he lowered himself, his nose brushing hers as he smiled. “I fucking love you, Riza Hawkeye.” 

“That’s good,” she breathed back. “Because I love you too, Roy Mustang.” 

He let her hands press him up and watched with amusement as she shed her pants. She shook her hips to the side, showing off the scantily lace panties that decorated her groin. They were indeed a Royal, Amerstrian blue, barely covering anything up as they hugged her hips and slipped up in a bikini cut. It was better than his cake. Roy could only growl with excitement. He let his pants and boxers drop to the floor and he stepped out of them, his eyes never falling from the blue lace that barely covered her. He leaned down, grabbing her shirt and pulled it off her, exposing the matching piece to her panties. She reached back, slowly, taunting him as she slowly brought it away. He was sad to see it go, but he couldn’t have it disrupt the view of her breasts even if it was the best of decorations. As he tossed her bra from her fingers, and moved to get back on top of her, Riza reached for the cake. 

“Dessert first,” she reminded. 

“I love dessert,” he growled lowly. With his knees on either sides of her hips, he kneeled over her and opened the plastic top to reveal the chocolate frosting. Riza’s fingertips slid down his rippled abs and she hummed in satisfaction, in great approval. His finger swiped some frosting from the top of the cake and he turned to look at her deviously. A thin line of frosting trailed from her sternum down to her bellybutton. It was even better that she giggled and squirmed. He grew harder as he scooped up some more to dollop on her breasts, spiraling it around her nipple. “Oh,” he groaned. “I’m going to love eating that.” 

She lifted her chest, swaying it to entice him. 

He reached over to actually take a small chunk of cake and drop it right by her bellybutton. “I should just put this whole cake all over you. 

Riza laughed, raising her hands behind her head. “I didn’t know you were such an artist.” 

“I’m no artist,” he argued quietly, reaching over to get another chunk of the cake itself. “I’m hungry.” He leaned over to put the small cake in her waiting lips, grinning as she sucked the frosting from his fingers. He jumped from her, bending to eat the cake bits off her stomach, licking at the frosting trail. Riza wiggled with a loud laugh.  _ Hehe,  _ he thought, watching her smile down at him. He took another long lick, still leaving a long light line of chocolate. He lapped slowly, eating the frosting from her breast as if it was an ice cream cone. His mouth cupped over her nipple, sucking as his tongue licked the chocolate from her. 

Riza moaned and laughed within each other as she squirmed. 

“I can’t get it all off if you won’t sit still,” he chuckled. 

It didn’t deter her. He licked up to her chest again, matching his moves to the other breast. It was slow, painfully so. “What if I put chocolate on you,” she offered, letting a finger drape down his arm. 

“It’s my birthday cake,” he argued gently, putting more chocolate cake on her chest, bending it over to “nom” it off her. “I can eat it how I want.” 

She laughed, squirming. 

He sat up, giving his finger for her to suck on again. She did it with a dangerous, lustful look in her eye. But Roy couldn’t just jump inside her and please them both the way that their body’s were demanding. No. He had to lick all of the frosting from her body. And Riza was going to love it. Zigzagged lines were painted along her hips, His tongue licking it up in the opposite direction. It was harder than it looked, but it was driving him more insane than he’d guess it was her. Everywhere he licked, he could taste chocolate.  _ Just going to have to get a shower after,  _ he grinned. He sucked on her hip bone and Riza sprang in reflex. He did it again.

“If you keep moving, I’m going to have to tie you up.” 

“I dare you.” 

Roy chuckled, licking up her side, even without frosting, just to see her jump from him. Across her ribs and to her breast again his tongue ventured. His mouth took in as much breast as it could, making a “pop” sound as he pulled it up and let it go. He heard her gasp. “I’d go down on you,” he groaned as his clean finger slid down between her legs. “But we don’t want to get that dirty.” She was wetter than he imagined and his other hand opened her legs so he could see his fingers enter her, his ears relishing in her gasp of air and the simple whine for more after. They slid in and out with ease, slippery and stringy as he removed his fingers. “But boy do I want to taste this,” he snickered, licking it from his fingers. 

Riza looked up from her place on the bed. Her hands had covered her face, opening then up to see him lick her juices off his two fingers. 

“It’s better than chocolate if you were asking.” 

Riza dropped her head back in a loud moan, her legs pulling him back towards her. “Don’t you dare stop.” 

“It’s my birthday,” he snickered. 

“I’m not only going to remember this for my birthday, but I have a year to plan it.” 

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He licked the inside of her leg towards her heated cnter, slipping his fingers in to curl and rub the inside of her.

“Roy,” she whined. 

“Yeah?” 

“Roy!” 

He pulled her towards the edge of the bed where he had been, pulling her towards his eager member.  _ Member,  _ he thought, amused at himself.  _ My fucking giant rod!  _ There was no slow and teasing entrance this time. No matter how much the slow, entreating beginning it had been, he was going to give it to her now. He rushed into her, hearing her scream out his name. He held her legs up as he thrust deep within her, feeling her tighten around him. Each time she called his name, it’d spasm around him. “Riza,” he groaned. He let her fall open as he leaned over her, kissing her feverishly. Her hands grasped his face as if she didn’t want him to part her in any way, lips or hips. He drove harder into her, even bringing himself to the edge a few times. 

His phone rang. 

“God fucking dammit,” he growled ignoring it. But it stopped the pace. 

“Just ignore it,” Riza waved it off. 

Hopefully, it wasn’t work as he kept pounding away, holding her tight as he licked up her neck to her chin. 

It rang again. 

“Fuck,” he growled, standing up and reaching into his pant’s pocket. “Fucking bullshit.” He turned the phone off, tossing it back to the ground. “They can wait.” As he pounced back onto the bed, Riza was quick to roll him over and mount him this time. “Oh?” 

“I have to give you your birthday present,” she said as she lowered herself onto him. Her hips rolled, and Roy’s hands gripped her thighs tightly. 

“You’re …. Oh, fuck.” His head fell back. 

Riza rolled over him, pressing up onto his abs as she deepened his penetration. It felt like he could feel every bit of her, pressing around him as her head fell back with a loud moan of his name. Roy jumped his hips up into her only to feel her spasm hard against him. 

Both of them stopped as there was a knock on the door. 

“Forget it,” Roy whispered as he was trying to keep himself together. “They will go away.” 

He looked up to see the faded chocolate lines around her breasts. He jumped his hips up into her again. 

The door knocked again. “Major Mustang,” a voice called. 

“Fuck,” he moaned. “I got to… fuck.” His whole body collapsed as his hands met his face. 

“Major Mustang,” the voices called. “It’s urgent, Sir.” 

“Seriously,” Riza rolled off him as he grabbed a pair of pants. 

“Fuck,” he continued to swear. There was no hiding the boner that he was sporting. While he was within minutes of nirvana, he was going to make the soldiers out there do a hundred flights of stairs if this didn’t include a death. Roy opened the door a little, holding his pants up. 

“Sir,” the officer saluted. The other followed quickly after. “We had an incident. We need you to come in for a critique.” 

“What the fuck for? I’m busy.” 

“I’m sorry,” the other one apologized. “The training session you organized for tonight. There was a helicopter crash.” 

Now his boner was fading. “I’m sorry… what?”

The other nodded. “There is a mission forming to go in, but it was one that you signed off on as the command. It was your training.” 

“I know it was mine,” Roy said, raising his voice in frustration. 

“What’s going on?” Riza was in the doorway with a blanket around her. 

“Fuck,” he cursed again. 

“We were told that you needed to come in at once.” 

“Is anyone dead?” 

“The rescue team hasn’t made it there yet. Nothing has been confirmed” 

“We tried calling you,” the other said. “We were on our way hoping to have you ready before we got here.” 

“Don’t you two move,” he ordered sharply. “I’ll be out in a moment.” 

“You’re serious,” Riza growled lowly. 

Roy was pissed. He marched back into the room, grabbing a towel to clean up after himself. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. He pulled on a pair of boxers that were on the floor and grabbed his pants. “I’m so sorry.” He pulled a shirt over his head. Turning from her, Roy shoved his cell into his pocket and his pocket watch that was sitting on the dresser.

She just stood there, mouth open. This had never happened before, though he knew it happened to other officers, even privates who were home and going on duty. 

“Do me a favor,” he whispered as he kissed her in her shocked state. “Finish without me.” 

“Can’t you do it tomorrow morning?” 

He rushed towards the bathroom and washed his hands. “I’m the commanding officer.” 

“You weren’t with them,” she argued. 

He looked over to see her bringing his cake out. “I don’t… I am sorry.” 

She sighed, going over to the kitchen. As he washed his hands, he could hear her doing something in the kitchen. When he walked out, she had put a slice of cake in a container for him. With all that had gone on and all the pleasure that she could ever bring him, that simple act made the night complete. He walked slowly to her, taking the cake from her. “You know that I love you,” he whispered, as his frown turned into a slight smile. “You gave me the best birthday I’ve had since I was seven and got that train set.” 

She giggled, putting her hands on his chest. “It’s not over yet.” 

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “While I’m sending in medics and my after action, knowing that you are playing with yourself will keep me well distracted.” He grabbed her hand and pressed against his crotch. “We will get back to this when I get back.” 

Riza grinned, giving him a squeeze. “Tomorrow morning, all morning.” 

He kissed her as if he hadn’t kissed her all day. It was a kiss to make up for the whole night. It was  _ the  _ kiss they both needed. His hand cupped her face as they parted slowly. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“Go kick some ass,” she whispered. “I’ll be here.” 

Roy turned and grabbed his bag by the door. He looked once more behind him, seeing his beautiful girlfriend waving from behind the counter. She’d get him through this. With that, he shut the door and led the two younger officers down the stairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know what a Sternal IO IV is, look it up. Actually, if you can't handle freaky things, maybe don't. But it's when they put an IV into your sternum, often used when you need fluids right away. It's pretty cool. I watched a video on it and started laughing. Got even more of a laugh, not sure why, when I thought Falman would be teaching the class. So tada, my weird humor away! And the interruption of sexy time? It happened to my parents once when my dad was in the Navy. It was a funny story my mom told me and I was like... BINGO. You all have been blessed with it as well.... except not the image of my parents.... Roy and Riza are better, I promise you. 
> 
> Meanwhile, there are two things I take very seriously. Schooling and fishing (which honestly make is incredibly difficult to manage together). It is so fishing time here, and all of August, and I'm going back to school even though I just graduated with my Bachelors. Masters here I come! (I'm not sure what I'm thinking here, pray for me.) So, updating may be sparse again. Just giving you fair warning, and an apology ahead of time. It's not like I prefer to fish than to write... but .... let's be honest, pulling a big salmon from the waters is a bit more... exhilarating. AND it only happens a month out of the year! Then of course there's berry picking... ANYWAAY I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Feel free to say hi to me on my Tumblr: @snowdog49. 
> 
> Have a super fantastic day! And thank you for reading!


	24. The scare

The water washed over their bodies, steam surrounding them in a hot mist. Her hands pressed against the tops of his broad shoulders, holding herself up as his hands tightened on her opened thighs. She opened her eyes to see his tightly shut, the water running over his face, his black hair pasting to his forehead. He was incredibly sexy if Riza did say so herself. The way his abs tightened, lifting his hips into hers, sliding deeper into her. Riza did her best to match his motions but their closeness made it more difficult. He was doing crunches, groaning under the spraying water, as her fingers gripped his upper arms. Riza’s head fell back onto the fiberglass wall as he lowered her, maybe out of the lost strength that was left in him, and she screamed out in pleasure. She was close, too close to stop herself now. She was at his will. Considering the angle that he had on her, it’d be sooner than later. 

His pace picked up as she sensed his own climax approaching. There was no hope of her holding out. Riza’s body clenched tight, feeling his rough thrusts into her. She felt under her fingers as his muscles spasmed, screaming out as her stomach grew hot with his seed. His arms shook, groaning as he tried to set her down. Her legs were shaky though and she had to hold onto Roy as she regained her balance. “Holy shit,” she gasped. 

He grinned, stepping from the water and running his hand through his hair to wipe it from his eyes. “Yeah?” Roy held her up till Riza’s legs felt steady enough. He looked up at the showerhead. “I’d imagine we’d better hurry,” he gasped. “The water is going to go cold soon.” She leaned against the wall, still admiring him. His hands cupped her face and she felt his lips on hers as the water returned to flow over both of them. It was a baptism of their souls as they pressed their bodies together. Everything was forgotten in those few seconds. Riza’s hands reached around his sides to his back, sealing the two of them so that even water could not divide them. 

It wasn’t until the shower was turned off, and he wrapped her in a towel that she finally could regain normality. A towel covered their heads, making a makeshift tent that sheltered their conjoined lips from the world. It held her to him. Riza giggled, smiling and content in their world they had created. She pressed Roy gently back into a wall, rejoining their lips in a playful passion. 

“I have to comb out my hair,” she said between kisses as she pulled from her. 

Roy held the black towel tighter around her to prevent her escape. 

“Let me get a snack,” she continued through the pecks that he trailed down her jaw.

He pouted audibly but pulled away from her. “Promise to come to bed after?” His finger fell from her forehead to her nose before he tapped her nose in a silent bop.

“Of course.” 

Riza had to work the next day, therefore their sexual escapades could not last long. However, it didn’t stop them from standing naked in the kitchen with their heads wet. “We’re out of wine,” she lamented, picking up the empty bottle. 

“I will go out and get another,” he quickly offered. 

“It’s too late.” 

“Just say the word, my love.” 

“Roy,” she turned, eating a chocolate covered pretzel. “It’s fine.” She felt up his bare chest. “We need to head to bed anyway.” 

She watched as he grinned, pressing his lips to her forehead. “You need to get up early. So, we better finish our fun soon.” 

Riza laughed, grabbing a handful of pretzels before turning away from him and leading him to their bedroom. 

All the exertions didn’t help her to wake easily. She didn’t wake up when he did. She didn’t wake until he nudged her awake, sitting on her side of the bed and kissing her forehead. “Hey,” he whispered. “I’m going in.” 

She blinked her eyes awake to see him smiling down at her. 

“You need to wake up,” he whispered. “You don’t want to be late.” 

She didn’t want to get up at all. “I know,” she whispered back. It wasn’t a painful morning, but rather that she was so relaxed that she felt that the feeling would be lost if she failed to appreciate it. The apartment was quiet as she showered, absorbing the peace that she felt. Every droplet on her skin was calming, meditative. Not even music was played, classical or modern. She let the quiet be. She chuckled as she put her lunch in her bag. Quiet was not what it was last night. It was anything but quiet. And yet, she found herself completely at peace standing alone with only the songbirds out the window waking with the sun. 

It wasn’t until her phone binged that she began to worry. Her app was asking if she had started her period. She was a week behind. Riza wouldn’t have worried about a few days. She was normally pretty regular, however a week was excessive. She began to think of all their activities that month. Roy had been rather affectionate lately. Riza couldn’t complain. There were the touches, the kisses on her neck, and the holds that he’d trap her in until she agreed to kiss him. Those normally weren’t long and lead to other things. And his affection increased her touches, her kisses on him, and her fingers running up his spine so she could admire his strong shoulders and back. He had to know what she was doing since he was going without his shirt more often. And it also led to more sex. The past month had been quite busy with that fun activity. Riza grinned at the thought, remembering last night. But quickly it was swiped away when she remembered the app. Maybe if their activities were not so prevalent, there might be less reason to worry. But every day? There may be an inkling that her app was telling her something she didn’t want to hear. 

She bit her lip as she got in her car and started it up. He’d bought it for her, insisting that “she didn’t need to be in the cold.” It wasn’t something new, but it worked rather well. It’d be something that could get her, or him, to work on cooler days. It was a kind gesture on his part, a caring one. It was hard for her not to think about him caring for her while she was pregnant, even if it wasn’t confirmed yet. He’d been looking out for her lately, going the extra mile to bring her home a chocolate bar, or to rub her feet after a long day. He was so relaxed as if major decisions could not bother him in the least. 

She remembered as they were going for a spring stroll when they walked through a park before she stopped and stared at an older tree. “That must be beautiful in the spring,” she said, looking up and down its thick trunk. “I wonder how old it is.”

“Oaks are steadfast trees,” Roy said as he held her hand tighter. “They symbolize strength and longevity.” 

She looked up at him with a smile. “What a beautiful thing to get married under.” 

“An oak tree?” 

“In hopes that our marriage is strong and lasts forever, like this tree.”

He nodded and smiled as he looked up at its empty branches. “You’re right.” 

He wasn’t going to argue with her, but just agree that it was what was going to happen. It was amazing to her since she’d seen him stressed before too. He was tight, fidgety, and quiet as he sat in a meditative state. He’d cross his arms, lean back as he crossed his ankles, and stop talking. There’d been a few times that he’d snap, not at her, but at something he was looking at. He’d thrown a paper to the ground as he yelled something about some political nonsense. He’d also been upset once or twice coming home. She had the blessing of recognizing the love that he had for her. He was patient, kind, and loving towards her, especially as of late. 

Riza pulled into the parking lot of the high school. She had been enjoying work. She was teaching composers and their philosophies at least one class for one week and switching classes after that week. It was a rotation that she was enjoying. Katherine Inwig was a calm teacher, patient, and soft-spoken. Riza was excited to be under her wing during her internship and took into account there was so much to learn from her. But in all, Riza felt like she belonged in the school. Everyone was nice and welcoming. Principal Izumi Curtis was stern, nearly feared by the children. She “kept order” which most of the teachers got humor from. Riza was quick to be thankful she didn’t take the private school in East City. 

That day, however, her mind was elsewhere. She did her job, taught her part of the class, but was plagued by the reminder of the app on her phone. She would have taken more consideration into remembering, but she’d been so distracted by Roy, she had forgotten her schedule all together. It made her mentally hit her forehead. Although she was left mentally scratching her head as she wondered how her birth control had failed her. The talk of children had come up before, but both of them agreed that they wanted to wait a few years after being married to be financially and emotionally prepared. It was not only terrifying but a shock that she could be outside of their plan. As she sat at lunch, she poked at her food, looking out the window towards the schoolyard where a few teens had taken up a game of soccer. She needed to just take a breath and trust that she was going to start any day now. Maybe her new birth control was just throwing her off by a few days. 

However, a week later Riza was tapping her foot as she looked down at her tea. She was two weeks late on her menstrual and it was making her worried. That ominous feeling had come fortuitous. She didn’t want to say anything to Roy because she didn’t want to worry him, but she was starting to think she should take a pregnancy test. She needed some kind of confirmation of her situation. It wasn’t a good time to have a child. They weren’t married, she’d just started a job, and neither were home long enough to care for a child. They didn’t even have time for a dog. She just had to be late, she told herself. There was no way it was true.  _ If I never take the test, it can’t be true.  _ The arrogant thought made her laugh. She needed to just go get the test and find out if it was true or not. 

“You look worried.” 

Riza looked up through her lazy bangs to see Roy coming out of the bathroom fresh from the shower. He was shirtless, sweatpants, and wet hair that dripped onto his shoulders. She could see his muscle groups defined and shimmering with the watery shine.  _ And that is why we keep having sex.  _

“What’s going on?” 

_ Do I tell him or do I take the test first?  _ “Just stressed,” she smiled. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” He walked to her side and kissed her shoulder. 

She shook her head and looked back at her coffee. She’d have to wait till he was at work tomorrow. She’d pick one up on her way back from work and take it in the morning. If it said yes, she’d tell him. But there was no reason to stress him out now. Her body was tired, her head ached, and her foot could not stop tapping. “I think just some rest will help.” 

“The long day today probably didn’t help,” he added. “Come on. We can get up early and feel better tomorrow.” His lips found a sensitive spot under her ear. “You look very beautiful today.” 

Riza laughed as she pulled from him. “I’m a disaster,” she said as she rolled her eyes. 

“A beautiful disaster,” he laughed, turning on his heel. “There’s just been something about you that has just made you radiant lately.” 

That only made her skin itch. 

Sleep eluded her as her mind played with the idea that she was pregnant.  _ It’s not like you couldn’t have been more careful,  _ she argued.  _ You’re on birth control! You never missed a day.  _ She frowned, rolling away from Roy and pulling the covers to her chin.  _ You even switched to a new birth control.  _ She sighed.  _ You can’t say that it’s your fault or his. It’s just…  _ Riza closed her eyes tightly, her fingers gripping tighter on the comforter.  _ It just seems meant to be.  _

Needless to say, sleep escaped Riza and the morning came too early. She woke with Roy to help him get ready, fixing him coffee, and putting lunch together for him. If there was anyone that she’d want to have a child with, it’d be Roy. Even now as she put an apple in his lunch box, she admired how dutifully he put his uniform on. She could see him kissing his child softly, hold them close, and genuinely wishing he could stay home to be with them rather than going to work. However, they were too young.  _ But would I be a good mom?  _

His arms wrapping around her from behind broke her thoughts. “Try not to stress too much today,” he whispered into her ear. “Whatever is bothering you, don’t worry. Everything will work out.” 

Her heart sank into her stomach. She felt like puking. She wanted to cry. She wanted to fall on the ground and cry loudly, letting the tears fall as she curled into his arms. Instead, she nodded with a fake smile. “I will try,” she whispered. 

* * *

He was home when she got home. He’d already started dinner and smiled from the kitchen. She held the bag in her hands tightly as she blinked at him. She shouldn’t have been surprised. They generally got home at the same time. She was hoping to beat him by a few minutes just so she could hide the test. Now she stood with the little bag in her hand and him smiling back at her. He had no idea of everything she was hiding. He had no inkling, no premonition or warning. He smiled at her like his day was complete, his whole world had come together again; while she was destroying herself from the inside. The moment seemed to last longer than it should have. She could have easily disregarded his smile and walked right into the bathroom. She doubted that he’d think anything of it. However, Riza stayed frozen by the door. It felt as if they were both waiting on each other, waiting for words to be spoken to break the curiosity and the guilt that carried through the room. He tilted his head, looking down at the bag, then back at her. 

“Did you bring dessert?” 

Truthfully she should just tell him, release the secrecy of her fears and let him comfort her. What would he do? Get angry? What was there to be angry about? Surprised? Scared? Shocked? That only matched her emotions. At least they’d be on the same track. She looked down at the bag and then back at him. “No,” she whispered. 

“Are you okay,” he asked, putting the spoon down. He tilted his head, his smile falling as he began to look more and more concerned. 

Riza shook her head. “It’s a pregnancy test,” she said quietly. 

“What?” 

“I missed my period,” she said louder. “I was going to take it in the morning.” 

Roy blinked at her, frozen in step in the kitchen. His mouth opened and shut as he shook his head in disbelief. 

“I didn’t want to worry you,” she continued. “So I haven’t said anything. But it’s been over two weeks and I’m pretty regular.” 

Roy took the few steps around the counter and slowly made his way to her. His hands reached out, giving her immediate comfort when his fingers touched her arms. “It’s going to be okay,” his voice quivered. Riza wondered if he was saying it for himself or her. 

“It’s not,” she quietly argued. 

“You can take the test in the morning and we will see,” he nodded. She could see the shock and the astonishment that in his eyes, the nervous sweat down his temple, and feel his hands consciously steady themselves. It was the very reason why she didn’t want to tell him until she knew. She looked towards the floor to feel his nose bring hers up to look at him in the eyes. “Riza,” he said gently. “You know that it’s going to be okay, right?” 

“It’s not,” she whispered as she held back the tears that threatened to spill. 

“It is,” he argued gently. His hand left her arm to hold the side of her cheek. Riza felt herself melting into it. “Whatever it is, we can work through it.”

“We’re not even married yet…” 

Roy laughed softly, his forehead dropping to hers. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” 

His other hand held her face as he kissed her head. “Riza,” he breathed into her hair. “I will make it okay.” 

A small sliver of herself wanted to cry out that it was his fault to begin with, but the reasonable part of her remind she volunteered on the sex too. It was both their faults, if faults were the correct word for this mess. Roy took the bag from her and tossed it towards the bathroom doorway and pulled her into a hug, never minding that dinner was on the stove. There, wrapped tightly against his body, Riza broke down. Her chest collapsed as did her knees and her nose ran freely. The tears dampened the front of his shirt as her hands grasped it to hold herself up. It didn’t work, both of them fell on the ground as she curled up into Roy’s lap, his arms encompassing her in a gentle embrace. It felt as if her world was crashing down on her as if the universe had rolled over and shrugged as her struggles.  _ This is the exchange for the good job and the happy times we’ve had lately. I can’t have the good without the bad.  _ She couldn’t have asked for a better partner than Roy. She’d take that. Her body shook with each crackle of her breath, and he held onto her. He kept her from falling off the Earth, kept her from falling from herself. 

“I’m not mad,” he chuckled into her hair. “I know I should be, and I know it’s overwhelming, but I really think it’s going to be okay.” 

“I don’t know how,” she choked. 

He took a deep breath, breathing out roughly through his nose. “I”m not sure. But I believe it will be.” The timer went off on the stove and Roy apologized as he pulled away from her. She watched with swollen eyes as he turned the stove off and pulled out the veggies from the oven. He took the pot off the stove and returned back to her. “I will make it okay,” he assured. “Can you believe that?” 

Riza’s tears didn’t stop, nor did her grip on his shirt as she curled tighter into his body. Her body was sore from crying, from shaking with such force from the fearful tears. And when her tears did run out, and her cheeks dried, she still didn’t want to move. Roy didn’t nudge her. She just stayed where she was, curling tighter into him. She felt safe, protected from herself, curled against him. As scared as she was, Riza knew that he was going to do his best for her. 

“What are you going to do when the test is negative,” he whispered with a chuckle. 

She looked up at him with a frown. 

“You could not be pregnant,” he smiled, kissing the top of her head. “Then we will be crying because you aren’t?” 

She pulled from him, frowning her brow. “You want me to be pregnant?” 

“I’m just pointing out the possibility of humor in this situation.” 

“There’s nothing funny,” she pouted. 

He nodded, still holding his gentle smile. “I think the pasta is burnt,” he looked towards the stove. Are you hungry?” 

She wasn’t. She just wanted to go to bed and forget about the day. She wanted to forget that she could be pregnant, forget the tears. 

He reached out, helping her to her feet. “Do you want to go have sex?” 

“You’re not funny,” she snorted, even if he was laughing. “Are you even taking this seriously?” 

“I am,” he nodded. “I’m freaking out too.” 

She followed him to the kitchen. “I think I’m just going to go to bed,” she muttered. “I’m not hungry.” 

He looked over his shoulder and concerned eyes. “Are you sure? You need your strength.” 

She was only going to go cry in bed, let reason evade her. 

“Have a small bowl with some roasted peppers and then you can go to bed, ‘kay?”

After a second, Riza agreed and took the bowl of white sauced pasta. It wasn’t even that good. It was bland, tasteless as she poked at it. 

“I love you,” he whispered to her as he looked at her from across the counter she was leaning on. 

“I love you too,” she breathed back. That was unquestionable. When curling in bed with him, their love wasn’t questioned. At first she curled away from him, but he rubbed her back before pulling her into his chest. He hushed her again, his arm pulling her tightly, kissing the back of her head. He’d given up telling her that everything was going to be okay, or he’d known that she was tired of hearing it. She didn’t feel okay. She didn’t feel that anything was going to be okay. Tomorrow morning she’d take the test to confirm it. What Roy said did not seem to resonate in her mind. It wasn’t that he was arguing with her. She knew that. However, she was just so convinced that she was. Her hand rested on his which slept on her abdomen. One thing did stick with her. They’d do whatever they needed to do. Roy having no fear made her comfortable in a way. Maybe he was saving it for a different day, a different moment. Maybe when he finally realized the truth, he’d lose it all and they’d both be too emotional to be any good.  _ No,  _ she argued with herself, closing her eyes.  _ He’s always going to be the rock of my world.  _

Like the night before, sleep was unfulfilling. Roy reached over to press the snooze button and curled back to her. He hardly ever pressed snooze. She had to wonder if he didn’t sleep well either. “You okay?” he whispered against her, pulling her against him. He was almost uncomfortably warm as she felt the curvature of where their bodies meet. 

“Are you?” 

He groaned. “As much as I can be.” He was stressing about it, she could hear it in his answer. He was just as scared as she was. “But I still think that we need to just see what it says.” 

Riza rolled over to see him, looking into his dark eyes which bore a weight of holding both of them up. He held a weak smile, his thumb doing circles on her arm. Even if he was afraid, Riza didn’t think that he’d ever admit to it. He was going to be the brave one who remained reasonable. “I don’t want to.” 

“Then don’t.” 

“Simple as that?” She looked up at him. 

“Simple as that.” He nodded. 

Life wasn’t as simple as that. Riza sighed loudly as she rolled back onto her back. “I have to pee anyway.” 

He rose with her and she walked to the bathroom. It felt as if it was a longer walk than it was, a walk of shame, disappointment, and of fear. She picked up the test and walked into the bathroom. It must have been just as nerve-wracking for Roy. He had followed her, but continued on into the kitchen. Riza closed the door, looking at the box as she sat down. “Just pee on it right? It can’t be that hard.” Carefully, she did so. Her heart was beating fast, her stomach was so tight she felt like puking. She set the test down, looking at it, waiting for one or two lines to appear.  _ Please one, please one.  _

“You okay?”

“No,” she mumbled. 

She heard him walk away. He was just trying to help, trying to continue to comfort her. He probably thought this was a waste of time.  _ He’s trying to be supportive,  _ she reminded herself. The three minutes was long. She debated walking out and try to help Roy ready for work. But her legs were frozen. She didn’t have a plan if it said yes. Did she want to keep it? Would Roy? Would she want to consider adoption? She frowned.  _ Take responsibility.  _ It seemed that she was more like her father than she wanted to admit. They were getting married in the spring, maybe no one would notice. Better yet, they could postpone the wedding until they were ready and the child was older. She looked at the test, there were faint lines, but she couldn’t be sure. 

“Babe?”

She looked at the door. She could hear the worry in his voice. “It’s thinking,” she answered softly. 

“Do you want some coffee?” 

Riza looked at the test again. “No…” 

There were two lines solidifying. 

“Fuck.” 

“Riza?”

She stood up and opened the door. Her hands shook as she handed the test over to Roy. He took it in his spare hand, his other holding a cup of coffee. He stared at it before looking up at her, frowning. “Two lines mean yes?”

She nodded slowly. 

He nodded, turned to walk back to the kitchen. “Positive huh.” He set the test on the counter, then his coffee. For a second, she was worried he was going to faint, but he instead rounded the counter and tapped his finger. He looked up at her. 

She wanted to apologize a million times, feeling that it was her fault, as if she ever deserved it. “I’m so s-”

Roy raised his hand. “I’m not mad.” He smiled, turning back to pace back to her. “I’m not even worried.” His voice quivered and she wanted to laugh at his front. He was scared, she could see it in the shaking of his hands. 

“You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.” 

“I love you,” he smiled. “No matter what comes our way, I’d want to do it with you.” He grabbed her, pulling her into a hug. “I”m not going to abandon you, or expect you to bear the weight of this alone. We got this.” 

They both called into work. It was an emotional rollercoaster of a day to start with. They ended up on the floor once more, Riza curled into his chest as she went from crying to not. There was barely a word spoken as he rubbed her sides and her back in slow circles. He didn’t hush her, didn’t ask any questions. For a few moments, they allowed themselves the moment to accept the truth. She didn’t want this. And although it was also specified the preventative was 99.9% effective, they didn’t deserve the .1%. Anger set in and she curled tighter in a ball, cursing to the world for fucking their happiness up. 

“Do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl,” Roy asked softly. 

She turned to look up at him to see his head leaning back against the wall. “You’re not freaking out about this like you should be.” 

“It is what it is,” he shrugged. “There’s not much we can do about it right now.” 

“Was that your attitude when you were getting shot at?” 

Roy frowned as he looked down at her. “I had to accept that I was fighting for my life, not stressing over a child. If I was going to die, then I went out fighting. This I have no control over.” 

She felt bad for the comment. 

“Well,” he chuckled. “We could have not had sex.” 

“I can’t believe you find this funny.” She looked back at him. “Are you not scared?”

Roy sighed loudly. “Oh, I’m scared. But it’s a warming thought to think I’m going to be a parent.” 

Riza didn’t know what to think about that.  _ To be happy I am going to be a parent.  _ “I thought we might have children at some point…” 

“Maybe this is a blessing,” he added. “Maybe it’s what we need.” 

“I’m not sure how.” 

“Do we ever know? I mean, was meeting me when we did in that bar, was at the best time?” He kissed her forehead. “I know you finding out about my little scar wasn’t the best time. But it happened.” 

“That’s not a little scar,” she snorted. 

“My point is, that is all worked out. And to be honest, I’m looking on the sunny side of this.” 

She wished she could. 

“You think you can eat something?” 

She shook her head. 

“Maybe some oatmeal?” 

She frowned and looked towards the kitchen. “If I have to.” 

“I can call the clinic and see when the soonest they can get you in and we can get settled in with the next step.” 

“So,” Riza stood up. “You want to keep it?” 

Roy nodded. “I would love to.” 

Of course he’d be excited over it. Of course, he’d pick the opposite side of her. Of course, he’d be calm and collected when they both needed to be running around crazy like.  _ With him being calm, the chaos is controlled. What you can’t see is his shaking heart.  _ Riza watched as he put some dry oatmeal in a bowl, adding water, and putting it in the microwave. His movements were fluid.  _ He works well under stress,  _ she observed. He needed to. “Just wondering,” she said softly as she broke the silence. “Were you this calm when you got shot?” 

Roy burst into laughter and shook his head. “Anything but.” 

_ It’s his training. He’s built to work on logic, not emotions.  _ Once upon a time, she was too. Once upon a time, she wasn’t pregnant. “Fuck,” she said lowly, lowering her to the counter, resting it on her arms. “Roy…. We are so screwed.” 

“We are not,” he assured. “Look. If this is the worst thing that happens, we are golden. I’m still in the military. That could have gone very south last year with that whole act... That is a hundred percent worse than this.” He came around to kiss her shoulder and rub her back. “We got this.” 

“You’re freaking out right now,” she asked, mumbled from her place on the counter. 

“Oh, very much so.” 

* * *

The clinic was bright, white walls with ads of vaccines, health warnings, and ironically birth control. Roy had his legs crossed, his foot twitching in the air as he read a magazine in his lap. His hand held hers tightly, while he licked his other fingers to turn the page. It was a reassuring hold, one that was soft like her pillow. It was something that she could melt into, being a floating type of support for her body and mind. However, it was firm enough to ground her, keep her in the presence. It felt that if she was to fall, his hand alone would hold her up but the strength of the hold itself. Their fingers weaved together as their wrists tangled. He’d squeeze her hand every so often and Riza was convinced it was to make sure she was still there as she’d squeeze back. After some time, it was reasoned that he was squeezing her because he needed her in his own mental breakdown state. 

Riza just sat nervously, looking around at the other patients. They were seeing her normal doctor, thankfully. She’d rather see someone who knew her medical history than one that could just tell her “Yup, you’re pregnant.” She imagined that she’d have to pee on another stick, or in a cup. She’d heard of blood tests to be sure. They’d go over vitamins and vaccines. They’d probably go over other options like abortion or adoption. Riza expected a long conversation, an hour-long visit. She looked back at Roy. He had volunteered to go with her and insisted ongoing. He’d taken the day off to hold her shaking, sweaty, hand in the clinic while her brain scrambled all the last few days had brought onto her. She had gone to work and had to be normal, forget about everything while she worked on her projects. It was harder than she expected. 

The past few days before the doctor's appointment was filled with anxiety. She just wanted to go in and get it done while Roy continued to tell her to wait for her own doctor. She felt thankful now. He was extra cuddly, though. Roy held her from behind, kissed her more fully, and held her closer in bed. It was to be said that he already loved to hold her, but this was to the more extreme nature that he was looking to make it obvious. Even now, her hands could remain in her lap or holding her own magazine, yet he had pulled her hand to the middle with his and held her tightly. __

“Riza?” 

The two heads shot up and Riza took one more deep breath. “Here we go.” 

The room was literally at the end of the hall. She walked ahead of Roy, feeling alone as she led him into the room that would literally be a mess of talking about what to do next. The room was as generic as the rooms came, however, Roy was not the generic patient. He walked around, to what she would consider pacing, and looked at the tongue depressors. He looked in the drawers, the cupboards, and even turned on the water. “Will you just sit down,” she snapped quietly. 

He huffed, falling onto the doctor’s stool. Then he pushed himself to one side of the room, then to the other. Riza was flabbergasted that he was so antsy now when before he was so calm. Granted, she’d never been in a hospital room with him before. Maybe this is how he normally was. With a boyish grin, he spun the chair around and let out a chuckle. 

A knock on the door put an instant stop to Roy’s antics as he jumped from the stool and onto the chair with a crash. “Come in,” Riza called with a heavy eye roll. 

“Good afternoon,” the doctor with Sarah Rockbell on her nametag, greeted her. Her family had always been doctors, and contributed a large amount to build the school Riza was employed with. Riza, in fact, loved her. She was so personable and kind when talking about issues. “So, you think you’re pregnant?”

Riza nodded. 

Ms. Rockbell turned to Roy. “Are you the father?” 

He nodded, extending his hand. “I hope so,” he chuckled. “Roy,” he introduced. Riza glared at his kind humor. 

“Hello,” Sarah shook his hand. “Well, first things first. We’re going to take another test for our records. And you said you are almost three weeks late for menstruation?” 

Riza nodded again. 

She sat back on the rolling stool, crossing her legs as she flipped through the papers. “And it looks like we put you on that new birth control last month.” 

Riza nodded again. 

Sarah nodded as she put the charts down. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a small clear container, scribbling Riza’s name on it. “Go ahead and give me pee at least to this line,” she said as her marker scratched a line on the cup.” She then reached into the drawer and gave one to Roy. “You can take one too if you’re feeling left out.” 

Riza looked at Roy as he laughed and shook his head. “I took one earlier,” he grinned. “Come to find out I’m not pregnant. Bummer, right?”

“Are you two looking forward to having a child?” 

They both looked at each other. Two different faces met. Roy smiling softly, gentle love from his eyes. While Riza was anxious and she bit at her lip nervously. 

“It’s okay,” the doctor laughed. “We can work through this.” She got up and opened the door for Riza. “I will swing back by after we test it, okay?”

Roy nodded. “I can find something to do.” He waved as Riza stepped out of the room. If the pregnancy wasn’t enough, Roy topped the cake. She couldn’t have been more nervous, more upset. She definitely should not have eaten. When had she ever been this upset, this unstable before? She frowned as she remembered North City.  _ Besides that.  _ She could acknowledge to herself that maybe she was worrying about this a bit too much, however it was life-changing. Everything they knew would be turned upside down. She wasn’t ready for this. Maybe later, but not now. 

She opened the door back into the room to see Roy with his legs crossed, looking up at her with a magazine in his lap. “Have a nice pee,” he asked innocently. 

“Yeah,” she huffed. 

“Oh, good.” He flipped the page in the magazine. “You know, they should at least put interesting things out here to read. I don’t want to read celebrity crap.” 

Riza ignored his ranting. He stared at the floor beneath her feet as she continued to feel sick. It was as if she was testing for the first time. And the doctor didn’t come right back. She was left to the rants of her boyfriend in a small room as she wondered how it was going to affect her career or even their relationship. What if they did not survive having a child. Tears welled up in her eyes.  _ What if we fall apart because of the baby?  _

“Ms. Hawkeye?” The door slid open and Dr. Rockbell stepped into the room. “We have your test results.” She sat down and wrote something on a piece of paper. “It looks like you are not pregnant. And you said you took an at home test?” 

Riza’s heart stopped. She wasn’t sure how to feel at that point. It was lifting, and yet unreal that she was not. All her emotions slipped away and the sweat in her palms instantly dried. “What?” 

Roy tilted his head. “Then why did the at home test say she was?” 

“There’s something called a false positive,” the doctor explained. “It’s mainly due to a defective test, or maybe protein matter in the urine. I’m going to chalk it up to a faulty test though.” 

“She bought the one bad test in the store?”

“It could have been dropped, or made wrong, or whatever it was. Sometimes these things happen.” 

Riza blinked a few times. 

“Are you two trying to get pregnant?” 

Riza shook her head slowly. “Not yet.” 

Dr. Rockbell went back to her charts. “One common side effect to this birth control is fewer periods, or missing one or two at the start. I think that is what we are seeing here.” 

“It’s the birth control?” Riza straightened out her spine, now coming back to reality that she was not pregnant at all. 

The ongoing conversation talked about common side effects of the medication, with even Roy paying attention to details and asking questions. The words of Roy bouncing in her head about not worrying made her sigh. She should have taken another test. She should have, but at the time she was so scared and so riled up that she failed all reasoning aspects of herself. It was embarrassing and more so that she had to now admit it to Roy. He wasn’t one to run things in people’s faces, and she was sure that he’d continue to be supportive instead of a “I told you so,” attitude. Instead, she had herself to blame and ridicule for not being more level headed about it.

“If you don't have a period for another two months, give me a call,” her doctor said as she concluded the appointment. 

Riza nodded, extending her hand to say thank you. 

Roy patted her back as they traveled down the hall. “You’re going to be okay?”

She nodded, brushing her bangs from her eyes. 

“A weight off your shoulders, huh?”

She nodded again.

He leaned forward so that his face was close to her. “Can we have sex when we get home then?” 

She wanted to swat him off but smiled instead. “I will think about it,” she grinned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Yes, I'm alive and I feel completely awful for not posting last week or the week before last. I've gotten in over my head (as usual) but I haven't forgotten. Just... lots to do. I will be honest, this was a hard chapter to write. My husband and I have been trying to have kids for a while and, unfortunately, have had a situation similar to this one. It sucked for us, quite different for them! I did think about it though.... I can see in canon them having a kid out of wedlock... This is my world though! Okay... Rando's world too. 
> 
> Hope you all have a fantastic day. Thank you for reading! It means so much! Later!


	25. For the Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter of the season! They get married!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First - Thanks Rando! You're always the best.  
> Should really thank Rando as most of the ideas in here are his.  
> Second - From the bottom of my heart, I'm so very sorry this is so long. It just kept going and going and going. I figure you'd all enjoy it, so it kept going!  
> Third - Not really sorry considering it's what everyone wants to read.  
> I wasn't really going to write this because everyone writes about their wedding, but hey! I will reward ye readers!  
> ENJOY!

Spring was beautiful. It was what Central would consider a beautiful spring with the sprouting of daffodils and pansies. Color returned and green sprouting of leaves donned the trees along the road. The sun was back, warming the Earth and homes each coming day. Every day he woke up feeling full of life. Bright mornings woke him on the weekends, and the morning runs were crisp and rejuvenating. He sat on the stool, leaning against the counter with a warm cup of coffee looking out the window. It was a perfect morning if he  _ ever _ said so. 

The house was empty though. If there was anything traditional about today, it was that. Riza insisted that she made him wait out the night by himself if they were going to do this right. It made little sense to him. If she was going to request them apart the day of the wedding, they should have gotten married right away and forgone a ceremony. But it wasn’t like it was going to be a large and glorious day anyway. She wanted it quiet, and he didn’t care as long as he married her. Roy took another sip of his coffee as he looked at the black box on the counter. It’d taken him years, twelve if he could count the first-ever time he asked her. Now the black box of his dreams sat on the counter while he drank coffee. It was finally here, and Roy found himself unprepared. It wasn’t that he was scared, or realizing that “things were going to change.” Nothing was going to actually change. He was unprepared because it was actually happening. Like a child on his first rollercoaster, he would be jumping up and down in his seat in anticipation of the first drop. But Roy was sitting still, looking out the window and thankful it was sunny. 

They decided on an afternoon ceremony; afternoon being one pm. He walked to the bathroom, tossing his shirt over his head and into the laundry bin. Everything had been taken care of. The hotel room was booked, the honeymoon planned, time request forms approved. He’d even ensured there was enough liquor at the afterparty. After all, it was possible Maes and Jean wouldn’t be done drinking till midnight. Roy turned on the water in the shower. He’d double checked on the cake, made sure her flowers were like she wanted, the dress was paid for, and the magistrate was on time. It wasn’t so his wedding could be perfect. He was ensuring that  _ her _ wedding was what  _ she _ wanted. He knew for years he wanted to marry her, it took years for her to get here. It was going to be done exactly how she wanted. 

He tossed his pajama pants in the hamper next and slipped into the steamy deluge. He soaped his head, taking in a deep breath. He didn’t want to run away. Instead, he wanted to run to that oak tree in the park. He wanted to stand there all morning, waiting for her to show up. There wasn’t going to be a precession. She agreed to walk down the aisle, but not like a church. She’d just arrive after him, at some point. He washed his face, letting the water rinse the soap from his body. He had decided to wear his uniform. He’d spent much of his night polishing the buttons and his metals. He’d go over the uniform twice to ensure there were no pilling or lint on it. He shined his boots until he saw his reflection. With starch, he ironed it out. There were only a few times he could name that he had looked this good, but not once where he  _ felt  _ this good. 

Roy lathered his face as the steam fogged the mirror. The blade slid down his cheek with ease. He couldn’t help but smile. She always said he looked amazing every day, but he hoped that there was a slight pause in her step when she saw him. He wasn’t vain per say, but he did want to look his best for her. There was no doubt that she and Maria weren’t at some fancy salon getting her toenails done. He was going to look sharp. A dab of aftershave and a hand through his hair. “Leave it down, or slick it back?” Be his ordinary self, or formal? He lightly rubbed some pomade on his hands before slicking his hair back. The cedar smell was gentle, a waft of fresh as he slicked it back. It wasn’t perfect, a few hairs sticking out. But it was better than hiding his eyes. His aunt would possibly kill him under the tree for looking less than his best. 

He walked around his apartment for a few moments, getting another cup of coffee, putting deodorant on, and looking for a good pair of socks. Then he finally found some boxers, plain black, and took his pants off the hanger. Carefully he slipped his legs in, almost stressing to avoid lines. He smirked at himself. They were pressed enough that they wouldn’t unstiffen until night when he took it off. He adjusted his belt, looking in Riza’s long mirror to make sure they looked good and snug. He reached for his waist cape, attaching it to his belt before tugging it and making sure it did not drag on the ground. A white collared shirt was tucked into his pants, and he buttoned it all the way up as if he was wearing a tie. It was hard not to grin.  _ Damn, Roy! You look good!  _ His hands flattened his shirt, making sure it was straight and wrinkle-free. He adjusted the collar and grinned again. 

He didn’t put his blue jacket on until later after he had eaten a bagel with some peanut butter on it. He needed to eat no matter how excited he was.  _ I hope Riza ate too,  _ he thought. There was no reason for her to not eat, even if she was nervous, nor had she stressed about fitting into her dress. If not, he had ensured there was going to be enough food as well. There had to be enough food for the amount of alcohol that Maes and Jean were buying. 

The bachelor party wasn’t the night before because of the hour of the wedding. That was so he was sober in the morning, and that was more important to him. After all, he needed to shine some buttons and iron his jacket. He looked at his watch, the one with the military emblem, and polished a bright silver. It was almost eleven. He donned his military jacket, folding the flap perfectly and doing the buttons under the flap. The fourragere shone a bright yellow. He stood straight, reaching for his peaked cap with a polished cap badge. Setting it carefully on his head he stood straight in the mirror. “Fuck,” he breathed. It was just overwhelming in the number of heartbeats that dared to burst from his chest. Excess saliva made him swallow hard and he took a deep breath. It was finally here. Did he look as good as he felt? 

He went back into the kitchen and fumbled through a cabinet. In the back, he pulled out a favored bottle of bourbon. He swirled it in its bottle. He didn’t bring it out very often, only on celebratory types of nights and such. Considering it had been hidden away, it deserved to come out on such a day as today. He poured a little in a cup before sipping it. “Ahhh,” he sighed. It was smooth, mellow, with a sweet slip of vanilla. The burn down the back of the throat released a pleasant caramel aftertaste and he smiled. Roy looked up into the cupboard and debated getting out some cheaper bottle that he could shoot back. He took another sip. “Naw,” he snorted. Leaning against the counter, he looked at the couch. All the cuddles, wrestling matches, and kisses that happened on that couch. He was so in love with her. “Don’t kid yourself,” he muttered. “Your feelings have only grown deeper.” He took another sip. There was the time where she rode him out on the couch, her breasts in his face as he begged her to stop before his undeniable release. There was also the time she wasn’t feeling well and he watched baseball with her head in his lap as he combed her hair with his fingers. He kissed her while she was napping, or kissed up her leg, up her waistline, up, up, and up, till his lips met hers. Times on that couch defined them as a couple. 

A knock on the door made his focus snap to the present. “You better be dressed and ready to go,” a voice called from the other end. “There’s no chickening out of this!” 

He rolled his eyes as he walked over to the door, opening it to see a Maes Hughes dressed in the same spotless and immaculate uniform like his own. 

“Shined your buttons, huh? You must really like her.” 

Roy huffed as he waved his best friend in with his head. “I just have to put my boots on.” He walked towards the counter and put his short glass down. He stared at it for a second. “Actually…” Roy reached up to grab a second glass, pouring two fingers of the aromatic caramel-colored spirit. “Have a glass with me.” 

Maes ran his hand through his hair as he grinned. “Getting out the good stuff huh? That nervous?”

“Isn’t any man before their wedding?” Roy raised his eyebrow. Maes was plenty filled with his own whiskey on the day he said “I do.” He was so excited, Jean had done it to keep him from bouncing with excitement. 

Maes accepted the glass, nodding after the first sip. “This is good.” He leaned against the counter, facing Roy. “You ready?”

“I’ve been ready a long damn time.” 

Maes snorted. “This is the biggest day of your life. Unless you’re having a child like me and Gracia. Then it’s the second biggest day of your life.” He reached into his jacket pocket pulling out a black and white ultrasound photo. “Have you seen my dearest daughter? We’re going to name her Elicia!” 

Roy laughed as he looked at the ultrasound picture. “Yes, Maes, I’ve seen it once or twice. Are you going to introduce her to everyone at the party?” 

He nodded quickly. He took a generous drink of the bourbon before patting the counter. “Let’s get going, Roy.” 

Roy nodded, grabbing his hat off the counter and walking towards his boots. He handed the ring to Maes. “I guess I’m supposed to give you this?” 

Maes took the black box, tossing it in the air before grabbing it with a grin. “It’s safe with me, my brother!” 

They walked out of the apartment building, quickly entering Mae’s car. They didn’t talk on the way. It was a confident silence. Both flawless, uniformed men, sitting side by side as they drove to their destination. What was Maes supposed to say? There wasn't anything Roy had to express. They both understood each other perfectly. The after-party had been set up at the hotel, and after three, everyone who knew everyone was going to be there. Until then, they both knew to enjoy the peace and relish in anticipation. 

As he pulled up to the curb of the park, Roy adjusted his uniform again. The two locked eyes, trading smiles of excitement and anxiety before stepping out. They donned their caps and looked around. They were out of place as the onlookers walked casually by. He followed Mae's down the sidewalk to the same unwavering oak tree she fell in love with months ago. The magistrate came from the other end, waving at them. He was an older fellow with graying hair and a trimmed salt and pepper beard. He was wearing a suit with a book under his arm. 

"Mr. Mustang," he greeted as he extended his hand. "Good to see you again. We lucked out with the weather. And no wind too! Looks like this was surely meant to be." 

Roy shook his hand, nodding. "I think so, Mr. Troy." 

"And Ms. Hawkeye is on her way?" 

Roy stopped for a moment. Ms. Hawkeye to Mrs. Mustang. "Yes," he sighed with a soft smile. "She should be here shortly." He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his nose. She'd be there shortly. Even if it was minutes, it was going to seem like hours. 

"You both in the same unit?" 

Roy turned back to the magistrate. "We used to. He graduated to investigations," Roy said as he nodded to his friend. "I'm in the education and training sector." 

"My son just came back from Creta. He said that he was being promoted to calvary." 

Maes nodded with a grin. "Tanks! He's going to love that." 

"I think he will." 

Roy really wasn't listening to the two. His eyes had caught a shimmering white dress and turned his head to see her. She wasn't in heels, or had on a long dress with an intricate lace train. It was simple, straight, and satin white. There was no veil. He remembered her saying no one was handing her off, so she didn't need one. But her hair was done up off her shoulders and falling down her back. It was pulled from her face, which radiated in the sun, her bangs gentle swaying with each step. She had sandals, he noticed. She walked like an angel, slow and patient strides. He would have guessed that clouds carried her feet to him by the way she walked. Her hands carried a small bouquet of tulips. The closer she walked, the less he noticed them.  _ I hope she doesn't think I out dressed her … _ she walked up to him, Roy slowly taking off his hat without breaking eye contact for a second. He handed his hat behind him, Mae's quickly taking it from him. 

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met." He smiled, reaching out to take her hands. He looked down at the flowers then back to her. “Do you know what they mean?”

Riza looked down at her flowers, smiling largely at him. She knew, but she let him tell her. 

Roy leaned closer. “True love. Deep love. Rebirth. Like this oak,” he said as he pointed up to the tree. “I pray that our deep love, and the rebirth of us in our steadfast relationship. I hope that it is long lasting, sturdy and lives forever,” he said softly, letting his words flow to her, only meant for her. He wanted to kiss her right then. Nevermind the vows and rings. Those didn’t matter. Riza was what mattered. 

The magistrate cleared his throat and the two of them broke their intense stares. “I hate to break this incredible sign of love, but I need attention for a brief moment.” 

He looked over to see Maria in a simple dress behind Riza, her maid of honor, as Maes was his groomsman.

“Under this tree, in perfect weather and a spring which brings new life and renews the year, I bring together Ms. Riza Hawkeye and Mr. Roy Mustang.” He opened his book and smiled at the two of them. Roy didn’t hear exactly what was being said, nor did he notice the people around them who stopped to witness the marriage. Something was said about holding the two, sickness and health and about faith and honesty. Instead, Roy stared deeply into the brown eyes that would soon be constantly at his side. She looked passionately back at him, smiling tenderly back. The after party , the reception and his friends, all were forgotten. He wasn’t even sure what was going on until Maes nudged his shoulder, breaking the obsession of being alone with her. 

Roy looked back to see him offering the silver band. Roy nodded dumbly, taking it. “Riza,” he coughed nervously. “Riza Hawkeye, will you marry me?” 

She smiled out, tears sparkling in the sun. “Yes.” 

His heart felt like it stopped as he held her hand with his, steady for the first time, steady and calm, as he slipped the ring onto her finger. 

Riza in turn turned to Maria, taking the silver band from her. He noticed how calm her hands were, steady and true, just like her. “Roy, I will follow you anywhere, just show me the way.” 

With that, their hands held each other while the magistrate said a few more words. He knew that she wasn’t hearing any of it either as her eyes connected with his. The only words he heard were, “you may kiss the bride,” and Roy did. His hands clasped her face and he leaned in. First kisses were supposed to be at the time of a wedding. Even though this was not their first kiss per say, it was their first kiss as wife and husband. He crashed into her, their lips sealed, his body was on fire as blood pumped loudly in his ears. As he had his cologne on, there was a short waft of water lilly, as if she put one dab under her chin. Her hands rested on his wrists, pulling him in with demand as her lips pressed against his. Equally their bodies met, her breasts against his chest. He’d forgotten to breathe, he was so busy feeling her suck on his bottom lip with a perfect gentle suction that he wanted to stay there forever. There was lust, there was the desire to hoist her up with her legs around him and run away with her. However, the trust that they held together was stronger than the resistance of a deep groan that threatened to burst from deep in his throat. Her tongue slipped playfully along his and and he dared to open his mouth to feel it tease his tongue. It wasn’t until the hands on his wrists tightened and he pulled back. Their noses grazed as their heads fell together. Maes stood back, whistling and hooting and hollering while Maria cheered respectfully. A few claps from onlookers proceeded. They giggled, chests heaving, eyes never parting. 

“I’m sorry it took so long,” she whispered. 

“You’re worth the wait,” he assured. 

“I think I’ve done my job here,” the magistrate said as he cleared his throat. “I just need some signatures from the witnesses and everyone’s good to go.” He stepped to the side, Maes and Maria following. 

They kissed again, shorter, before stepping to the side and waiting for their escorts. He put on his hat, relishing in the sun that blessed them both of them on that day. He’d never forget it. Even the heavens wished them together. Roy would have liked to think that his hand was holding her tightly but knew it was hers that refused to let him go. Linked together, like a chain fence, strong and binding, their hands bumped each other’s leg as they walked back. If they weren’t so dressed up, he’d take the long walk around the park, holding her hand and spending their first moments in nature as their childhood had always been. 

“Now for the party,” Maes said loudly as he looped an arm around Roy and shook him from his daydream. “I hate to tell you,” he said, putting his head in front of Roy to see Riza. “I’m going to have your husband so drunk there is no possibility of sex tonight” 

“The goal is to have sex,” Riza pouted. “Darn!” 

“I can hear the sarcasm,” Roy mumbled, pulling from his friend. 

Maes held on tight. “I will tell you! That was the second most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to!” 

“What was the first?” Maria tilted her head as they reached the cars. 

“Me and my wife of course!” 

“Don’t get him -” 

“And then there is my darling baby!” 

Riza frowned as she was confused. “I thought she was pregnant?” 

He reached into his uniform’s pocket and pulled out the black and white ultrasound photo. He waved towards the two girls. “Look at her! Isn’t she perfect?” Maes looked as if he had seen love at first sight as she clutched the picture to his heart. 

“You are clinically insane,” Maria laughed. 

“Clinically in love,” he cooed. “Where do you think Roy learned to kiss?” 

Riza raised her eyebrow at Roy. 

“It gets lonely out there in the battlefield.” 

“I would have guessed it was in the Johansen’s field behind the horse barn.” 

“Nice,” Maria nodded at Riza’s answer. 

“Now it’s your turn,” Roy nodded to Maria, taking the keys from Maes. 

“I’m never getting married.” She waved off the question with a smirk, obviously joking.

The three looked at each other. “When is Denny getting married?” Roy opened the door for Riza.

“Oh! Next year’s fall. We’re sending notices this autumn.” She giggled. “He’s pretty excited.” Roy knew she was excited too by the way her cheeks blushed a cherry blossom pink. 

They laughed as Roy shut the door and waved at the two of them. “Don’t kill Maes!” He got into the driver’s seat, looking over at Riza. “And you….” Leaning over, he smelled the water lilly again and he couldn’t help but grin. “We don’t have to go straight to the party.” He took off his cap, tossing it in the back seat. He connected with her again, short delicate pecks, lures of the heart as he tossed all reason and sobriety aside. The dress was coming off and he prefered sooner rather than later. 

Her hand took his, interlacing their fingers. “I’m sure everyone wants to see the dress,” she whispered. 

“You can put it back on.” 

Riza patted his thigh with their conjoined hands. “Come on, it will make it all worth it later.” 

“I might be too drunk later.” He snorted a laugh, putting the car in reverse and looking over the seat as he backed out of the parking spot. 

“Oh,” she laughed loudly. “I’m the one getting drunk.” 

He put the car in drive and turned onto the street. “You look amazing.” 

“Yeah,” she raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you dress this sharp earlier!” 

“You know how long it took me to shine these buttons!” 

Riza laughed, curling a stray hair behind her ear. “Well, you’re going to have to do this more often.” She pointed her finger from his head to his pants. “I wasn’t sure it was you until Maria said that the military officers must be you two.” 

He grinned. “Well, I knew it was you as soon as I saw you.” 

“That’s not fair, I was the only one dressed up.” 

He tilted his head towards her, looking doubtfully at her. “I was almost suspecting you were going to come in a summer dress. I debated wearing a button up with a tie and no jacket.” 

“You would have still been handsome.” 

“Well, you’re beautiful any way I look at it.” 

“Suck up.” 

He grinned. Their childish banter went back and forth, their hands remaining intertwined until they pulled into the hotel parking lot. Roy seriously debated crawlin over the median and going out Riza’s door just so he didn’t have to let go of her hand, but thought about what Maes what doing to say. 

“Oh!” She turned and reached back into the car. “What about your fancy hat?”

He waved it off. “I can’t wear it inside anyway.” Roy held the door for his bride, watching her walk in; watching her ass as she walked in. “Gracia and Maes ensured that our bag made it up to our room.” 

“Oh good.” 

“I just have to check in to get a key.” He walked up to the front desk, feeling her hand on his back. It was supportive, caressing the worries from his spine. “Mustang,” he greeted. 

“Congratulations,” the agent smiled on the two of them. “I have you all ready here. I just need an I.D. and I can get you into your room.”

Roy reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing her the requested I.D. “Don’t you need a credit card?” 

“It looks like a Mr. Jean Havoc has put his card down. He just requested that you leave the lamps intact.” 

Roy chuckled. 

“Your friend has a sense of humor.” She giggled. “But the room is paid for.” She handed the keys to Roy. “Congratulations again, and enjoy.” 

“Thank you,” they said in unison, her hand finding his again. He stuck the keys in his pocket with his wallet and nodded to the elevators. “Are you sure? We can make a quick stop.” 

“Nothing should be quick tonight,” she nudged his shoulder with hers. “Let’s at least say hi, and then we can head up there.” 

The ballroom was full of lively people, dancing, and a generous serving of food and alcohol. He was impressed. He had handled most of this, with Maes’ help, and it had turned out better than he thought. There were a few military personnel, even a few from his squad that still had contact with him and Jean. They detached for a moment or two, mingling with their designated groups. It was easy for her to become bored with military talk, and Roy didn’t blame her for sneaking away to talk romance with Sheska. He still would watch for her shining white dress, getting a peek of her walking away from him. He acted as if he was listening, but he was actually wondering how much longer he had obligated to the party? 

Roy turned to peak a look when he about bumped into a smaller man. His mustache was long and grey, sticking out with distinguished power. It took him a second before he saw the blue jacket and he looked over. “General Grumman! Sir!” Roy instantly saluted, a sharp form in his dress uniform. 

“Oh,” the old man chuckled. “We’re at a wedding!” He looked around as he rubbed his chin. “I’m looking for my granddaughter though.” 

Roy turned and looked around him, offering his help to his commanding General. 

“She’s a sweetheart. I haven’t talked to her in a long time. I was so excited when I got an invite!” 

Roy stopped, frozen as an idea slipped into his mind.  _ Invite?  _

“Riza!” The man raised his arms and hurried over to Roy’s bride. “I’m so happy that you invited me!” 

“Wai-” Roy pointed to the two of them with his mouth open. 

“This is my grandfather.” Riza smiled innocently, looking as if she hadn’t done anything wrong. 

In reality, she hadn’t. However, how was this not articulated before? “You could have told me!” 

General Grumman waved it off. “We don’t talk that often, Major.” He rubbed his chin again as he turned back to Roy. “Though, I do have to say, my granddaughter should be marrying someone ranked higher than just a Major.” 

Roy frowned. He would have had a promotion if the Generals like him weren’t so corrupt.

“Looks like you’re going to need to be promoted!” 

He raised an eyebrow. He’d believe it when he saw it. 

“Stop,” Riza nudged General Grumman. “You need to behave.” 

“Alright, alright,” he raised his hands. “I just wanted to meet the gentleman that my Riza fell in love with, and to see her. Darling, I hope we can have some more time later to catch up?” 

Riza nodded and hugged him. “Let me catch up here and I’ll be right over.” 

Roy watched the old man walk away before leaning into Riza. “You mind amusing me with an answer to that?” 

“What?”

“I thought you had no family,” he gruffed. “And you end up having family in the Grummans? They fucking founded this country!” He did his best to remain hushed even though it was a shock to him. “There were so many times he could have interrupted some points and saved my ass.” 

“He’s not like that,” she dismissed quietly. “And I can’t ask favors like that.” 

“Are you kidding?” 

She shook her head. “We don’t talk.” 

“I thought that you had no family left?” 

“Roy,” she said firmly as she leaned closer to him. “I invited him in hopes that he’d bring a generous gift. He’s not what you think he is.” 

“He’s your grandfather. Are you telling me that if you called and said you needed his help right away-”

Riza tilted her head side to side. “He might come right away, but he is very military oriented. He’s not helping me with college, or has even really asked about my life. I sent him an invitation for him to call and congratulate me and insist that he will be here. If anything, he’s wanting juice on other officers.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow. 

“He’s got dirt on everyone. He’s not a stupid man.” She nodded slowly, tapping her chin. “Actually… you better go talk with him and become his friend. You may learn something from him.” 

Roy leaned back and slapped his head with his palm. This was not happening. One of the most prestigious Generals was her grandfather and she played it off like it was nothing.  _ Does she not know what I do for a living?  _ Before he could further freak out, Jean wrapped his arm around him. 

“You’re not holding a drink in your hand,” he said happily. “Congratulations, my friend!” 

“Jean,” Roy turned and gave him a short hug. “Who let your ass in here?” 

“Riza, it’s good to see you again.” 

“I’m surprised you remembered me with the very short time we have met.” 

“I never forget a beautiful lady.” He grinned eaar to ear. “Plus, you make quite the impression.”

“Alright there, Jean.” Roy patted his friend's chest. “Let’s go get me a drink.” He and Jean stopped by the bar, which was not only well stocked, but had a bartender as well. “How have you been?” 

Jean nodded, picking up a new cup of whatever he was drinking. “I’m doing alright. Getting things in order. Did you hear that I’m officially in security?” 

“I heard something of that nature.” 

Jean grinned. “I really like it. It’s straightforward. And it’s a private contracting company so they get paid much more than a mall cop.” Jean leaned against the counter, taking a sip of his drink. “They hire mostly military veterans. They are serious about their employees too. It’s nice to feel appreciated.” 

“You have a girlfriend?” Roy took a drink of his own, searching the crowd for a white satin dress. 

“Not at this moment. The job keeps me busy. I think they are keeping me out of trouble.” 

“You’re growing up?” 

Jean shrugged. “I’m not sure about that.” 

Even though the conversations were light and joyful, he didn't want to be anywhere there was someone else but Riza. There was a closet door on the side wall. While Jean talked he wondered how stealthy he could slip her into there and fuck her against the wall.  _ Mighty lustful of ya, Roy, _ he told himself. It was even possible that he was just following wedding night protocol. He bit the inside of his cheek. The probability of her not wanting to have sex was pretty decent. And it was early evening. There was still time to get drunk and party as Maes had insisted. It was early enough to lay naked in bed and eat pizza and watch movies. It was still early enough to sneak away and watch the sunset.  _ Too late for that, too much to drink already.  _ He sighed. 

Jean patted him on the shoulder. "I'm the last one, eh?" 

Roy nodded. "Does our favorite playboy ever imagine himself settling down?" 

Jean downed the last bit of his drink and nodded slowly. "I hope so. It's not like I want to live this life forever. I think there's a crazy woman out there waiting for me." 

Roy grinned, patting his shoulder. "You're just as crazy and even as annoying as Maes, but thanks for being a good friend." He pointed at him, hand like a gun, as he stepped away. "That card for incidentals, you know I'm buying porn with it." 

"I was hoping you would." 

Roy didn’t get far. It was becoming to the point that he wanted to just get out of his uniform. He’d come back in something more comfortable to dance and drink in. He imagined that Riza would have liked the same. A professional photographer was bouncing around somewhere, Roy couldn’t find him. He did see his foster sisters, bouncing around. For the most part they had swooned over Riza, but it was only a moment before his time would come. If he could just get to her, they could sneak up into their room, change, and do… other extracurricular activities, and if she wanted, they could come back. 

“Roy!” 

He turned to see a happy Shelby. Another officer behind him nudged him a hello, which Roy turned for a second to shake his hand. 

“Congratulations,” she said with a hug. 

Hug hugged her back, squeezing her tightly as he would his own sister, before letting her go. “You guys really did close the bar!” 

“Yeah. None of us wanted to stay.” 

He chuckled. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.” He took another look around. “From the absence of her presence, I’d suspect that Taylor is doing well?” 

“We’ve heard a couple times from her. She’s still seeing a tutor, and she says she stays away from home. She’s waiting till the courts say she can legally listen to her plea to leave the home.” 

“Has he hurt her?” Roy’s face grew dark. 

Shelby smiled, putting her hand on his wrist. Her green eyes sparkled joy to him. “We can talk about those subjects after we get congratulating you on the best day of your life! This is what you’ve always wanted!” 

“Hey,” the officer behind him nudged again. “How do all these beautiful women know you?” 

“Kevin, this is Shelby. She’s my sister.” 

The officer was taller than Roy, light hair with more than a dorky smile. “Nice to meet you Shelby.” He then turned back to Roy as he extended his hand to Shelby. “I thought you only had foster sisters?” 

He nodded. “Shelby is the only one we adopted that took the last name. We foster and most of them grow up to “leave the nest” as my aunt says.” 

“So, you’re a Mustang huh?” 

Shelby nodded with a grin. “And proud of it.” 

“I’m not sure why you’d want to be anywhere close to being related to this guy.” Kevin thumbed Roy with a grin. 

“Because his Aunt is really cool.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow. “Not me?” 

The officer named Kevin laughed. “Well, you mind joining me at the bar? I’d be happy to order you a drink.” He extended his arm to Roy’s sister.

He stepped back. “I’ll leave ya two to it. Careful of her, Kevin, he’s got wit.” 

Between his Aunt, his Colonel, and even Gracia, Roy was convinced that he’d never get back to his wife. He’d start making a beeline to her, and someone would jump out and demand a few minutes of his attention. It was inevitable. Looking at his silver watch in his pocket, it was just after six. The amount of people in the room made the air hot and he felt sweat on his back and along his hairline. They’d been there too long.  _ I’m going to just go up to her and tell her it’s time to go. We will go to the room, order a pizza, and stay in there till check out tomorrow.  _

“I just realized that we have not had a first dance,” someone called from the dance area. 

“Fuck,” he groaned. Every cell in his body wanted to scream at them to mind their own business and he was either going to change first or he was going to take his bride to their room and away from the drunkenness that was them. He snorted a laugh. He had quite a few drinks too, so maybe he didn’t have  _ that  _ much room to talk. 

“Come on,” a sweet voice called next to him. Her fingers grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the floor. “And then we will leave.” 

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” he sneered. 

“And I’ve been looking all over for you.” 

On the floor, her hands looked gently around his neck, their bodies close, and his arms around her waist, pulling her closer still. He’d picked out a song for this moment, but he still avoided it. The song was a back up for a time like this. It’s slow melody and the acoustic tunes were dance worthy. Their noses touched and Roy gave into the intimacy that she was asking. The curve of her hips was where his hands rested, begged for him to stoke, while her straight back he wanted to lay on a plush mattress. His body flared again and his pants grew tight. The smell of water lilly may have faded, but the twinkle in her eye had not. The curl of her smile was still calling his lips to hers. She whispered “I love you,” to him but his throat was too dry to do anything but croak a reply. 

“I love you too,” he coughed lightly. “Let’s blow this joint. What do you say we grab some food and head up.” 

Riza’s nose rubbed his affectionately. He turned them while her fingers played with his sweat-drenched hair on the back of his neck. A few of his hairs had broken loose and he felt her fingers comb the hair, pulling gently on it. He had to hold back a purr, resist leaning into her hand and closing his eyes. He felt her rough up his hair with her hand, his messy hair turning back to cover his eyes. “There,” she whispered. “That’s better.” 

And damn her brown eyes. There was nothing in this world that compared. If he lost his sight, the one thing he'd miss would be the playful brown eyes a buried themselves into his chest where they resided. She didn’t need to wear a nice dress or do her hair up. She just needed to look at him, let her eyes roll over him as they cleansed him of his sins. That’s what she did for him. He was at the mercy of her eyes. Her hands ran through his hair again as he listened to the music, realizing how perfect it was for the two of them. She leaned in as she put her head to his chest. Wrapping his arms into a hug, he put his chin on the top of her, and they swayed. The piano and the violin mixed and tangled in the music, creating a beautiful sound as it flowed together. Roy smiled as he realized what he’d picked out. He and Riza were in fact two sounds that would intertwine and blend together to make such beautiful harmony. 

“Let’s go,” he heard her whisper. 

It was then that he noticed there were other people on the dance floor and that he’d daydreamed from his own world and had forgotten where exactly they were. He looked back down at the blonde head against his chest. Stepping back, he grabbed her hand and began walking towards the exit. He high fived Maes as they neared the door and walked out. “Are you hungry,” he asked, squeezing her smaller hand in his. 

“Not really,” she said quietly. 

“We can go to the restaurant here and grab something.” 

Riza shook her head, her bangs swaying with her shake. Her hand let go of his and reached back to grab his ass. “Let’s just get to our room and we can order something later.” 

Roy smirked. “You got it!” 

Their steps quickened to the elevator. It was a pity there were other people on it. Roy really wanted to give her a proper appetizer to what he was thinking. Instead, he had to squeeze her hand and smirk at her like they did as children when he had a mischievous idea. She smirked back, the one when she was up for his idea, good or not. Since childhood, he’d looked forward to this day. He looked forward to the moment all his life. Here he was and he was still nervous.  _ You’re going to do fine,  _ he told himself.  _ Just do what you always do. She is going to love you just the same.  _ And it wasn’t even their first time. 

Once in the door she turned quickly, slamming him into the door. Roy grinned as her hands pulled at his uniform’s shirt, unbuttoning it hastily. He was stuck trying to get it off. He’d given up by the time her hands had infiltrated his jacket. They scratched along his ribs, rippling over his white dress shirt. “Fuck,” she moaned. “Do you know how distracting you are?” 

“You have to get out of this dress,” he moaned while kissing. 

She stepped back, dropping the shoulder straps to wiggle out of the dress. He tossed his uniform jacket on the floor, reaching out to feel her shoulders drop the dress to the ground. She wasn’t wearing a bra, no surprise with the style of dress. But Roy felt his body shiver with excitement as he looked down to see a pair of white lace panties. Her hands wandered back to his chest, falling sensually down to cup his erection between his legs. He could see the mischievous glint. Before he could take control of the situation, she hooked the collar of his white shirt and pulled him forward. Roy wasn’t going to argue. He followed, then backed up and she dropped him into the chair for the desk. He was hypnotized by her, a siren calling to him in the turbulent waters in which he sailed. 

Her fingers drizzled down his arms, gently taking hold of his wrists and brought his hands to the back on his head. Closely, their lips teased without touching as she whispered upon his breath, “no touching.” He choked, his adams apple caught in a vice. She mounted him, making sure to have him rubbing against her as his groin rose against hers. With perfect balance and pose, she set to the task of unbuttoning his jacket, one button at a time. It was agonizingly slow. The anticipation, the wanting to beg her to hurry only stirred in his stomach. Once the shirt was open, she slipped off him with ease, opening the shirt with her hands as she kissed down his median. Each peck of her lips was a little fire on his skin. Roy moaned as he let his head drop back. Her lips reached his pants and he begged the higher powers to feel her mouth take him in. Her teeth grabbed at his button flap, tugging as she looked up at him.  _ Just like that. Growl, shake it a bit, undo it so that I can spring free.  _

Instead, her fingers took their place and she began to hum. It seemed as if it was just a day’s activity, nothing strenuous or important and she pulled his belt from his waist. “It’s too bad you don’t have a tie,” she giggled. Riza stood up and a bigger grin emerged on Roy’s face. She prowled behind him, pulling his hands down and his belt around them. It wasn’t tight, and Roy was sure he could get out, but where was the fun in that? She stalked from the other side of the chair, tracing his arm upward, then down his chest again. She popped his button free with force. Roy groaned. It got louder when her finger brought his boxers down and her mouth upon him. At first, she licked him, then swirled her tongue around his tip, before sliding her whole mouth over him. Roy groaned loudly, lifting his hips into her. Quickly her hands pressed him back down as she “pop”ed off his tip. “No no,” she tisked. 

“Fuck, Riza.” He began to beg. “Just…” She was clearly establishing her dominance over him now. She ran the show. She ran  _ this  _ show. She could have this show. She just needed to let him release. His balls were tight, his stomach aching, and his feet unnerved with a slight bounce. 

“You just need to relax.” She licked up his length again. 

“Fuck,” he groaned loudly again. 

Her mouth descended upon Roy again, sucking deeply as she receded. It felt like she was just sucking all the blood from his waistline to the tip of his dick. As she swallowed him down behind her lips, her tongue massaging the bottom part of his dick, waves of extreme pleasure shocked through his body. The tension started in his abs, spreading like a wildfire to the tips of his toes, curling them as he felt her suck pull him at a new angle. Roy melted into the seat, whining. His whole plan was actually to get her off as many times as possible before coming himself, not be teased till his fun ended. 

She pulled at his pants. “I suppose these need to come off,” she hummed innocently. 

_ Take it all off,  _ he growled to himself. He lifted his hips, letting her shimmy the pants down to his ankles. “Are you even going to take my boots off?”

She shrugged, slipping her panties off and tossing them at his face. Roy grabbed at them with his teeth, growling as he shook them back and forth like a dog with a toy. She leaned over, her hands on his shoulders, and Roy was happy to spit them out to receive a taunting kiss from her. Standing up, and still over him, her breasts flush with his face and she mounted him. He couldn’t help himself as he gave them what sucks he had before he felt her slid over him. Not only was it warm and encompassing, but she also tightened around him and moaned his name at the same time. 

“You’re killing me,” he gasped. 

She giggled, swaying her hips side to side. 

“I’m going to come,” he threatened, his body lifting and dropping. “You’re egging this on.” 

She pulled herself closer to him by his shirt, which was still on. Her lips quietened his protests but not his moans as she rolled her hips. It was pressure in all the right places. Though her body had been luring, eluding at the right moments. The kiss was the opposite. She conquered him. The pull on his jacket, pulling his chest towards hers, the way her lips commanded his with her tongue swiping along his bottom lip before biting it. She sucked the air from his lungs. And Roy would give it to her freely. The roll of her hips, exacting the pressure just so to make it feel as if she was coaxing his cum from him. Her breasts pressed against his chest and his abs tightened in a crunch as he thrust up into her. He could feel her contracting. He could feel her on the verge of the explosion. But how he wanted to wait. He wanted to feel her squeeze around him, her walls sucking his hot mess from him. Her lips finally let his go, Roy’s mouth let open as he gasped for air. They swam to his ear as it bit softly as his lobe. He felt her body stiffen, and they froze and she breathed into his ear. “Come.” 

He wanted to say that he had some part in the orgasm, but in reality, his body seized in a painful spasm and he groaned loud enough to be confused with a growl. But like the rest of the event, Riza rolled over him, pressing herself off of his shoulders. He hips glided, tilting high, threatening him to pop from her, only to descend quickly upon him. Her wet pussy swallowed him, gulping him down with each motion of her hips. He couldn’t even touch her. He couldn’t put his hands on her hips to feel their motion, like waves of water upon a rocky coast. She spasmed erratically, with no rhythm whatsoever. And like her torcherous lecture her body had upon his, the orgasm seemed to last forever. His body tired, sore and weak before his groin settled. Riza’s head landed on his shoulder, a light moan indicating she was still alive. 

“Fuck,” she whispered. 

“You’re telling me,” he gasped. 

It took a moment for her to get up and slid off him. There was no hiding the mess that followed. “That just means it’s shower time,” she giggled. She released his hands just as she tied them, carefully, softly, and slowly. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t move anyway. His legs felt like jello. Instead, he watched her hips sway as she walked towards the bathroom. The hot water was turned on, and he heard her snicker. “They have the cutest soaps,” she called. 

“I’m not sure how you’re walking,” he called back. 

“Don’t tell me you need help standing.” Riza poked her head from the bathroom. 

He scoffed. “No! I’m just resting.” He needed a whole day to recover from it. He rubbed his face taking in one big breath as he heard the shower curtain open. With a light groan, Roy stood up and walked with stiffness to the bathroom. He took a moment to stretch each leg before peeling back the curtain and step into it. Water ran over her, with her back towards him. Her head was up, the water falling over her face, down her body in a clear cascade. With arms raised, Riza’s hands slowly ran over her wet hair. She acknowledged him with a turn of her head and a smile, but the water over her face prevented her from opening her eyes. Steam billowed around her, and to be honest, if the water was that hot and relaxing, he didn’t blame her for not giving it up. Even though he didn’t think he could perform for her for hours, minimum of an hour, he was still so attracted to her. His fingers, then his hand, ran up her back, feeling the scars of her childhood. Roy kissed her shoulder, staying there longer to emphasize the softness and care that it symbolized. As his hands on her hips pulled her from the water and into his chest, his lips moved north and onto her neck. “Hello, wife,” he whispered as the water started to catch his hair, running down his face. 

“Hello, husband,” she giggled back. 

* * *

Naked they laid on the bed, the TV on in the background as her head rested on his chest. The chair and his belt were unmoved, and neither were they. Roy drew circles on her back as his eyes fluttered closed. He yawned, wondering if they should get under the covers, or just fall asleep like this? It was a tough choice. With one eye open, he glanced at the two complimentary water bottles on the table by the chair, then to the bottle of champagne next to it. They should be taking advantage of that. Then why was he unwilling to move from under her. He felt her finger drawing on his stomach. There was a straight line, then something round, then a U.

He smiled. “I love you too,” he whispered. 

“You know what sounds really good?” 

“Hm?” He looked down as she looked up at him. 

“Those handmade pretzel sticks dipped in that chocolate.” 

“You have a problem,” he chuckled. 

“They were so good.” She whined. “Do you think there are any left?” 

Roy slipped from under her and sat up. “No, but I can go check. They were still bringing food in when we left. I know they said we had it until midnight and there were several of them there that planned on being there till midnight.” 

“Seriously?” She rolled over on her stomach. 

Roy reached over and grabbed a pair of slacks from his bag. He pulled them up as he nodded, not minding the boxers part. He shuffled through the shirts, pulling out a light blue button up. “Some of the officers, yeah.” He buttoned down the shirt. “I’m sure Jean and Maes will.” 

“I think they have a drinking problem,” she snorted a laugh. 

“I will not argue with you there.” Roy tucked his shirt in as he walked back to the bed. 

“Oh my God,” she laughed. “Your hair is in all directions!” 

He ruffled his hand though, helping some but not as much as it could have. “I love you,” he chuckled, leaning down and pecking her a kiss. “Stay here,” he whispered upon her lips before kissing them again. “And stay naked.” 

She only giggled back as he slipped on a pair of sneakers from their bag and walked out the door. He hoped she’d stay naked. By the time he got back he figured that he could get her back for her little stunt. He could rejuvenate with another beer maybe, get a plan. He ran his hand through his hair again, trying to tame it. The elevator doors opened and with his hands in his pockets he made it down the hall to the reception hall. Loud music was still playing. It was nearing ten that night and Roy had to wonder how much more alcohol was left to drink. Inside the hall though, the crowd had thinned. The few that were there were a couple of officers left, sitting around a table laughing. The air was light, cooler than when they left. It was only loud from the music and a couple of laughing people left. He looked around, curious to see that Maes and Jean were missing. There were several things left, sparse and few as they were, but no chocolate covered pretzels as his wife had requested. Roy grinned.  _ Wife.  _ It was going to be fun to say for the next few days. 

“Roy!” 

He didn’t get a chance as he turned to feel an arm grab him from behind and around the next. “Maes!” 

“You got laid,” he laughed. “Look at that hair!” 

Roy grinned, feeling an officer pat his back. “Alright man!” 

A few soldiers in the corner started cheering. 

He raised his hand, indicating for them to quiet down, but didn’t lessen the grin that was widely plastered on his face. 

“How does it feel to me married?” Jean muffled from behind him with a cigar in his mouth. 

“And you have upgraded,” Roy snorted at the larger tobacco roll between his friend’s lips. 

“My best friend got upgraded!” Jean leaned closer, taking the cigar from his mouth. “You going to share what you did to her?” 

Roy nudged him away. 

“Oh! Or is it what she did to you!” 

He did his best to keep from blushing. “I just came down for snacks.” 

“Three cheers for Roy!” 

Maes followed Jean’s cheer with a drunken glee as the whole room, minus a few eye rolls from the remaining women, cheered on too. 

He pushed the two of them away as he grabbed a mini burger from one of the last trays. “Left me hungry,” he mumbled. “I’m actually sent here to find some of those pretzels.” 

Maes shook his head. “I haven’t seen any left.” 

He frowned. He couldn’t go back with none in tow. His wife had requested them! “I got to find some.” He looked around, as if debating something. 

“Let’s break into the kitchen,” Jean whispered, the thick smell of whiskey in his breath. 

“You’re very drunk,” Roy laughed. Next he leaned over and grabbed a beer, popping off the top and tossing it to the trash. 

“What the hell happened to you!” 

Roy turned to see Denny pointing at his hair. 

“Dear God, Man! Ever heard of a comb?” 

“This,” Jean poked Roy’s hair, “is sex hair.” 

Denny laughed, grabbing another empty keg. “By the way, your friends drink a lot.” 

Roy nodded.  _ There’s no lying there. _

“I mean, there were more people here but they were kicked out.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow. “Where’s Maria?”

“She’s somewhere,” he looked around. “Last I saw she was telling someone to go home. I’m dating a bouncer.” 

He could imagine that. “Do you think she knows where those pretzels went?” 

Denny looked guilty before smiling innocently. 

“Damn it,” he muttered, drinking his beer. 

“I know the way in,” Jean continued to encourage. “And we can make a real sized burger while we’re back there.” 

“Tacos,” Maes grinned. 

Roy stopped, looking around. “Any of you seen Sheska?” 

“She,” Jean pointed at him, “is a lightweight. She was out like a light. I had to carry her out.” 

Roy looked at him straight-faced. 

“This guy named Mason took her home. We were doing shots one minute, and the next she was falling out of her chair.” 

Roy rubbed his chin. “She would have remembered where they had gone…”

“She’d remembered?” Maes chuckled. 

“Kitchen,” Jean enticed as he leaned forward, swaying side to side.

At that point, he was tempted to. “Or we can just go to the gas station down the road and grab a bag.” He shrugged, taking another gulp. 

“He’s thirsty,” Maes snickered. 

“Will you stop,” Roy shoved him away as Maes laughed. “Where’s Gracia?” 

“Oh? My darling loving wife?” 

“The one and only.” 

“Of course she’s the one and only!” Maes put his hand on his chest as if he was offended. “How could you ever imply there’d be more than one…. Wait… more than one Gracia?” 

Roy pointed to his drink. “How many of those have you had?” 

Maes flicked his antenna out of his face. “I will have you know that there can only be one Gracia because no one in this world can compare to her.” 

“Nevermind,” Roy rolled his eyes and turned around. He felt the condensation around his fingers as he walked towards a server who was picking up garbage and plates. “Do you know where I can get any more of those chocolate pretzels? We had a few trays of them in little bags?” 

The man frowned, looked back at the service door. 

“I’m willing to give you quite the tip if you can get me more.” 

“I’m not sure if I could.” The man dropped the garbage bag and walked quickly towards the kitchen. “Let me go look.”

Roy reached back into his pocket for his wallet, remembering that his pants were still on the floor of the room. He didn’t want to be far from Riza for too long.  _ I don’t want her to get lonely,  _ he thought. “Maes!” He turned and walked quickly back to his friend who was now playing rock-paper-scissors with Denny. He stopped for a second before shaking his head. “I don’t want to ever know what this is about, but give me your wallet.” 

Maes squinted his eyes. “Are you mugging me?” 

Jean pulled out his and looked in it. “I’ve already been robbed.” 

“What do you wa-” 

“I gotta tip this guy if he brings me back pretzels.” 

“Seriously,” Jean burped. “We all know kung-fu. We could take the kitchen, storm them and hold them hostage till we have burgers and pretzels.” 

Maes rubbed his nose and blinked a few times before getting out his wallet. He slowly looked in it before Roy reached for it, pulling out two larger bills. “That’s two hundred cez,” Maes gripped. 

“I’ll give you four later.” Maes turned back to see the server shaking his head. 

“They locked everything up.” 

“We can break the locks,” Jean called from behind him. 

“I’m beginning to think he’s more determined to please your wife than you are,” a random soldier laughed. 

“Gotta make the bride happy.” Jean grinned as he laughed loudly.

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Thanks for checking,” he mumbled before turning back around. He finished his beer in three large gulps, shoving the empty bottle in Jean’s chest. Without another word, he marched out of the room. He’d take the two hundred cenz and buy his wife as many pretzels he could get at the stop and shop on the corner. 

“Roy!” 

He turned to see Maria waving at him. “I was wondering if I’d see you,” she smiled, approaching him in the most sober ways. “Where’s Riza?”

“She sent me down here to get some of those chocolate pretzels. But it seems they are out. I’m just going to go to the store and get some. Are you running the joint?” 

She nodded, running her hand through her hair. “I know we have the place till midnight, but Denny and I are going to start picking the place up and hopefully move people from here and to the bar or something. I’m not sure how Jean and Maes are getting home.” She put her hands on her hips and she looked back at the room. “Oh!” She put up a finger. “We made a tray for you two! I bet there are a few on it!” 

“A tray? A tray of food?” 

“Yeah!” She waved him to follow as she walked back into the hall. As they entered, the whole room erupted into cheers and Roy’s head fell into his hands. In the corner, a plate of pretzels, sandwiches, chips, and even cake sat. “You didn’t cut the cake,” she shook her finger. “So it’s all been put away. I told them that we’d get you two to do it later for photos. But you can’t have any of that one till then.” 

“Then what is this?” Roy pointed to two slices. 

“That’s a different cake.” She frowned. “I’m not sure where it came from.” 

“You’re awesome,” he grabbed the plate and turned sharply. 

He hurried to the elevator, waiting with a tapping foot as it climbed to the correct floor. By that point he was looking forward to eating some of it himself. A few more steps down the hall and he unlocked the door. He peered in to see Riza under the covers, curled towards him, watching TV. “Hey,” he greeted. “I found snacks.” 

“Thank you,” she grinned. 

“Thank Maria.” 

He watched as she grabbed a bag of pretzels and opened it. She grabbed one, munching on it happily. Back to the bed they bounced, falling on it like two kids would with stolen cookies from the kitchen. If anyone would have told him he was going to be laying naked in bed, eating cake with Riza, his wife, when he was younger, Riza might have punched them. But here they were and Roy wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to go into the amount of work it too just to upload this behemoth. We're on the down end of the book now. You can all stop reading. I will still post when I remember just for those who can't stop reading. I love you. :)


	26. Sunsets and Fancy Dinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honeymoon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rando! Thanks for looking over this fic on such a short notice! We are rocking! 
> 
> I hope you are ready for some fluff. They deserve some time away from their normal days, and have some time to themselves.

Maybe they had been too loud. The hotel staff hadn’t come to tell them to stop though. They were on a streak, putting the luscious bed to good use while in a tropical paradise. Day two of their honeymoon, and they’d been out of their room only once and that was to eat and to stretch their legs. The bed bounced as she laughed, a slap on her ass as she laughed again. “That’s my girl,” he growled, gripping her hips tightly. Maybe they could go outside after this time, maybe see the waves and the pool. There were surfing classes, a zipline, horseback riding, kayaking, and hiking to rigid cliffs with sharp waves below, and Roy and Riza knew of the said activities. However, the excuse was they had another four days, They could take another day to spend in the bedroom. After all, they were on a roll. Roy wasn’t about to break a streak. 

“Harder, damn it!” 

His finger dug into her hips and she arched her back, pressing herself back onto him. The angle was intensifying, accompanied by the undying rhythm and the deepness, Riza was struggling to hold herself up. Her ass stung as he slapped it again, sending her to involuntarily spasm around him. Her open hand pounded on the bed as she backed into him again. There was no stopping it this time. “Shit! Roy!” She imagined that with each orgasm, it’d get duller and duller with the friction and action her nerves had endured. It was borderline abuse. But it intensified it instead. Her fingers gripped the sheets tightly, her moan open-mouthed, and her body frozen. He didn’t stop. He kept going, kept moving through his orgasm. She felt his hands slide up to her waist as he pressed deeper into her, if deeper was even possible. He groaned, gravelly as if his throat was tight as well. He cleared his throat and groaned again. 

She fell onto the bed with an unceremonial sigh. She wasn’t going to be able to walk, let alone go outside. Her abs hurt, begging to be stretched. Behind her, she heard a stumble, a heavy drop to the ground, followed by another. He laughed, knocking the chair as it scooted more away from him. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t ask the housekeepers up here,” he said with a rough, dry, voice. “It’d be abuse.” 

“Abuse is what you just did to my vag,” she breathed. She rolled over, painfully, to see Roy laying on the floor of the room, struggling to catch his breath. “Are you ready for a truce yet?”

He huffed a laugh. “Hey, we broke the record from yesterday.” 

“Don’t we want to save some tomorrow?” 

He rubbed his face. “I say we hit six today. Just one more time. I mean. We could get seven or eight, but I might need some help.” 

“Help?” 

“Standing.” He laughed, his hand falling to the floor. 

Her assumptions were correct. As she tried to stand up, her legs wobbled and Riza sat back down. She pulled her hair from her face and leaned on her knees. “I mean…” She took a deep breath. “There are things we could go do.” 

“Could. But why?” 

“Because you paid for this vacation and we should go have it. Do you really want to tell everyone that you didn’t get to see…” She stopped herself as she imagined him telling anyone that he spent the whole time in the bedroom. Oh, all the high fives he’d get. “Nevermind.” She rolled herself to get momentum and stood up. “Let’s go. I gotta take a break.” 

Roy waved from his place on the floor. “Bring me back a drink.” 

It goes without saying that she took a shower. Before she left, she put on some light tan khaki capris and a bright t-shirt. It was nothing fancy. She didn’t need fancy. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and a ball cap over her head. Roy was probably still on the floor. She didn’t see him when she walked out the door, only hearing his snoring. He’d catch up with her later, or she’d bring him a cold drink when she was ready to retreat back into their room. Considering that they had breakfast hours ago, and it was past a traditional lunch hour, Riza’s first ambition was to find something to eat. There were the restaurants in the hotel, expensive and more of a finer dining experience. There was a sandwich shop which she was interested in, however she was hoping a stand outside was still open. She didn’t want to be inside anymore. 

The warm sun was refreshing. She was able to sigh, content with everything at that moment. Though she still was freshly sore, she did her best to walk normally down the walkway and onto the beach which was right in front of the hotel. The sand was warm as it seeped in between her toes, invading her sandals. Riza sighed. Roy was missing out on all of this.  _ He’ll catch up.  _ She walked casually down the beach, not looking for anything special. She could have just enjoyed the moment alone, and maybe she should have, but there was still someone missing.  _ He hadn’t been missing for the last two days.  _ Riza giggled.  _ It doesn’t matter. Enjoy the moment for yourself. He’ll come looking for you.  _

There was a stand with chilled drinks and fried foods along the road in front of her. It’d do. Just something a bit local, less formal. There was a shallow salty breeze that swayed her bangs. The ocean was loud, the white bubbles of a well turned sea sliding closer to her. She stopped to watch the line of water recede from the sand. She could see Roy picking her up and running into the surf to throw her in. Now that they were married, she was going to be stuck with him. A soft smile grew slowly upon her lips. He was a dedicated husband, who would do anything for her. She should consider herself lucky. 

_ I know so by the way he dedicates himself to his job.  _ Riza wasn’t sure if she wanted to sigh or to continue smiling. He put his heart in one hundred percent into everything he did. Whatever he was now getting himself into, she’d follow him. There were no longer two of them apart, but two of them together.  _ Was it ever that way? Sure, I’ve had independence, but it’s not like I really lost that.  _ Riza chewed on her lip, watching the water glide up towards her.  _ I’m going to have to be just as independent with him and the military. No,  _ She quickly corrected herself.  _ You will stand with him stronger because he will need you.  _

The stand was small, enough room to make simple dishes and two people to stand in it. The wafting smell of fried foods and fish made her mouth water. Maybe she was hungrier than she thought. “What can I get you?” The man was calm, gentle with expressions as he smiled earnestly. 

Riza looked at the menu. “I guess just a fish and chips.” 

The man nodded and disappeared in his hut for a moment. With her hands on her hips, Riza surveyed the area again, wondering why and how they had stayed in their room the whole time. It was a beautiful scene, perfect for the two of them to just lounge out and relax. They should have spent a half of a day in the pool. They had a bar, some shade, and they could have easily just sat there for a half of a day sitting in the pool. Then there were the hammocks, or the cabanas, or the lounge chairs which had drink services. Riza blushed. After night, they should be taking advantage of the hammocks or the cabanas. 

“Here you go, Ma’am.” The man’s voice snapped her out of her daydream.

Riza reached out, the fried fish and fries wrapped in a paper wrapping. She still had time to spare while she waited for Roy to wake up and wander after her. “Can you tell me what there is to do around here for the afternoon?” 

The man nodded, leaning against the counter. “If you walk down this way a bit more, there’s a couple of shops. I recommend the lemon slushie place if you like drinks. They have a strawberry lemonade that will knock you off your rocks! You can rent a metal detector there too. Many people like to comb the beach.” He stroked his goatee. “Oh!” He said with a raised finger. “There’s an evening kayak trip. I do recommend it. It’s through the hotel back from where you came from. But it leaves just after dinner and you get to see the sunset on the ocean. I’m always recommending that to guests.” 

Riza grinned. There were always perks to asking the locals what to do. “Thank you,” she smiled, eating a bit of the fish.”  _ A night ride on a kayak, huh? I wonder if I can get Roy to go?  _ It was more like, can she go back to the room without being seduced again.  _ The damn man has stamina!  _

In the meantime, she walked towards the shops down the beach. The place was not the carnival type. The shops were fine shops, jewelry, pottery, local made art and cultural gifts. There were displays behind glass windows and racks of designer shirts. She browsed through them, wondering if Roy would wear one if she brought one back. “Flowers? And yellow in color? Maybe he wouldn’t.” She put the shirt back on the rack. However, there was nothing that stood out to her. There wasn’t anything that she saw that she needed. Bracelets and necklaces, and such were shiny, but they were all materialistic. None of it really mattered. And it was costly too. Everything she looked at was more than she ever thought about spending. Riza did however stop at a certain stand just to get a strawberry lemonade. She sat on a bench and watched a couple kids run through the sand with parents close behind. 

_ I wonder if we will have kids one day. A little Roy and a little me.  _

With no sight of Roy, she looked at her phone to see it silent of him as well.  _ Maybe he’s mad at me for leaving? That’s not his style.  _ Riza made her way, casually, back to the hotel.  _ Maybe he’s in the pool waiting for me to show up. _ She pulled out her cell, stopping in the shade to message her husband. **‘Let's go on a kayak ride this evening.’** As much as she liked spending the day in the bedroom with him, they could always retreat back there. They should be outside enjoying the sun. Riza sat down in the sand, relishing in a moment in the shade. Her feet rotated in the warm sun as her body hid in the shade. Maybe she’d just sign them up for it and if he didn’t want to go, he didn’t have to. It was funny for her to think that she’d do things on her own on her honeymoon.  _ Don’t honeymooners do things together? _ . 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.  **‘Marco,’** it said.  _ He’s probably waiting up there with roses and champagne.  _ No matter, Riza worried he was still sleeping, or being lazy, in the room. It’d be no surprise if she walked in to see him on the bed, watching TV, waiting for her return.

**‘Polo.’** she replied with a grin. It was as if they were playing a game of who caved first and went to the other. She wasn’t one to give up. If he thought he was stubborn, he had a thing coming. 

**‘Where did you go? My lap is cold without you.’**

Riza snorted a laugh, stopping at the pool to text him,  **‘It’s warm outside.’**

Riza stopped in the lobby of the hotel. She could go up there but probably would find him gone if she considered his texts. Riza shrugged. Either way, she’d find a spot to sit down so that she wasn’t giving up, but she was close for him to find her.

**‘How am I supposed to kiss you all over if you’re not here?’** Riza grinned and shook her head. But before she could respond, another text appeared.  **‘The sun blinds me.’** That confirmed that he was out looking for her.  **‘Can you at least give me a clue?’**

She bit the corner of her lip. There wasn’t much of a clue she could give him. Looking down at a magazine in her hand, she typed back,  **‘Farther from adventure, closer to you.’** Whether or not that was correct, it’d give him something to think about. She could only imagine him looking around. 

**‘Can you see me?’**

She put the magazine down. **‘No, can you see me?’** Now she was being a smart ass.

**‘What do you see, Wife?’**

**‘That’d make it too easy.’** She snickered. 

**‘You’re going to get a spanking when I find you.’**

Riza laughed loudly, stopping suddenly as she remembered where she was, putting her hand over her mouth.  **‘I’d like that.’** She still had an hour before the tour had to colligate. She was really wondering if he’d find her in time. 

**‘Telling me where you are and we can speed that up.’**

**‘Nice try. Where’s the fun in that?’** She set her phone down on the couch and crossed her legs. She leaned back into the seat and picked up the magazine again, flipping through the pages. It was filled with ideas to do along the coastline. Most of them they’d be unable to do just because of time restrictions. “Oh,” she hummed. “Ziplines… bungee jumping.” She snickered as she looked at the bottom of the page. “Skydiving. That’s an idea.” She licked her finger as she turned the page. Her eyes scanned the words of an article pertaining to the life of a beach as her hand brought water to her lips. The air conditioning blew softly towards her. People walked by her as if she didn’t exist. It was quite the perfect setting. After the article, she looked up, seeing if she could see a moppy black head around. “Nope,” she sighed. It was almost time to go. A flip of the page.  _ Cliff jumping… Helicopter rides… Snorkeling. Snorkeling with sharks!  _ Still no sign of him.  _ If he doesn’t show up, I’m doing all these without him.  _ Though, to be honest, she didn’t see him jumping out of a plane anytime soon. She was going to have to do that one on her own. 

Riza tossed the magazine onto the coffee table as she stood up. It was time to head towards the harbor. It was about a quarter of a mile down the beach. She looked at her phone. It’d been silent for a while. ‘See you there.’ Maybe that was too vague of a clue where she was going to be. She wanted him to join her on the trip, but wasn’t quite ready to just tell him where she was.

There was a building where many tours started. A makeshift dock where small boats floated effortlessly in the calm waters. The sea wasn’t in a bad mood that night either. The waves were subtle, and the clouds were settling in. She was sure the winds were going to pick up that night. It was the calm before the storm, they say.  _ I wonder if the weather will be good enough to do some other activities,  _ she thought, saddened at the clouds floating overhead. She could imagine holding Roy’s hand as they made their way up a trail, maybe even hiding behind a tree to do some  _ natural  _ making out. 

A younger man was pulling the kayaks onto the sand. She wasn’t instructed to wear anything particular, but maybe she should have gone up to the room to grab a jacket. She bit the corner of her lip. She probably should have done that. Next, a large bundle of life jackets were tossed beside the coming kayaks. Her watch said it was seven, and sunset was scheduled at nine-thirty. She was sure there were safety protocols, simple instructions, and such. She wondered how far they’d even paddle out. They didn’t want to be floating back in the dark. 

Even with her heart getting excited over the trip, and her holding her phone tight for the pictures, Riza began to feel more and more disappointed. She looked around, not seeing his smiling dark eyes, looking for hers in the small group.  _ Maybe I should just tell him where I am.  _ It didn’t help the heavy feeling in her stomach that he didn’t show up. She unlocked her phone, her fingers hovering over their text messages.  _ What do I tell him? _

As the young man began his speech, she felt two arms wrap around her and a chin rest on her shoulder. “Sorry I’m late,” he whispered, his voice gruff. 

Riza placed her hands on his and squeezed them. Her head turned, seeing his open grin. “Thank you for showing up.” 

He rounded to her side, weaving his fingers into hers as they stood together, listening to the before trip protocols. He didn’t make any motion to pull her closer, kiss her too passionately for the public, or even whisper that it’d be better if they were in the room. He did exactly what she knew he would. He stood next to her, holding her hand. The comfort of his presence relaxed her more than the sun or the waves. 

“Sorry I didn’t get you a drink,” she whispered as she leaned against his shoulder. 

“Oh, I got one when I was out looking for you.” 

She could just imagine Roy in his board shorts and button-down red shirt, casually strolling down the beach looking for his blonde headed bride. He would be launching a full-on search for her. She couldn’t tell him that she was in the hotel the whole time. It’d be salt in his wound. Looking up at him though, she didn’t see any frustration. He had a sideways smirk, looking as if he’d had a great time out exploring. His hold on her hand wasn’t possessive, but calm and gentle.  _ I wonder if all the sex made him so carefree and relaxed. Nothing could ruin his day, I bet.  _

“Wear your lifejacket the whole time.” 

“I should have brought a jacket,” she said as she looked out on the water. 

“I can run back and get you one. It might get a bit chilly.” He thumbed behind him. “Shouldn’t take me too long.” 

She shook her head. “No. I could have gone back to the room.” It wasn’t like her as she had thought. Roy turned back to the speech but she squeezed his hand. “You’ll just have to warm me up when we get back.” 

He grinned. “I’d love to,” he replied softly. 

They would have gotten a double kayak if there was one. How else can you be completely and romantically the honeymoon type if you were to turn down a double-seated kayak? They settled into their own, Roy holding her hand as she stepped into her kayak like a gentleman. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to make the point for her to see, or if he was doing it without thought. He could always be doing it to try to have more sex with him. The smirk on his face could be interpreted towards this idea. However, Roy was naturally a gentleman, naturally looking out for her in simple ways like that. Surely the smirk was for reasons of his own.  _ He’s thinking about you naked,  _ She heard herself joke. 

Roy insisting on being behind Riza, “because you like it that way.” Riza splashed him at his insinuation. He blocked himself with his arm and a light chuckle before the short lesson on how to kayak. Roy splashed her back, subtly, and when she glanced over, he was smirking and whistling innocently. 

As they pushed out, taking their time to paddle through the calm water and out into the sea, she maneuvered her kayak close to his. “Are you sure that you wanted to come out onto water?” 

Roy snorted a laugh. “I know how to swim.” He looked towards her. “Just so you know I signed up for surfing lessons.” 

_ There are better ways to die,  _ she joked in her head. “I think that will be fun. Did you make that a couple’s thing too?” 

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to,” he replied honestly. “I sure don’t want my wife to show me up on some beginner course.” The natural waves and motions of the ocean brought the tip of the kayak up and down. 

At least he was making plans on getting out of the room. Quick flashes of memories of their bedroom escapade made to giggle and her cheeks grew red. Riza could feel his lips trails pecks of kisses from her breasts to her... Maybe spending a  _ little  _ more time in the room wouldn’t be a bad thing. She glanced out of the side of her eye at her husband. He paddled lazing alongside her. The sun was starting to set, the sky turning a bright pink to start the colorful setting. 

“You know,” he chuckled. “This is a pretty romantic trip.” 

She nodded. 

“What a way to start the night.” 

“End the night,” she quickly corrected. 

“Who says it has to be the end?” He had a smirk on his sly face as his head tilted towards her. 

_ He does want to spend the night in the bedroom,  _ she laughed in her head. He didn’t go into more detail, he just followed the person in front of them as their kayaks bobbed over the sea’s rhythm. The guide, without a word, pointed out to sea. They stopped paddling and noticed the thin fin of dolphins nearby. Little puffs of air and water before they dive under the surface. No one in the party moved, made any sound, as they watched them swim by.  _ I can spend the evening like this. This is cool.  _ Riza pulled out her phone, carefully balancing it in her hands as she took a few shots. 

The colors became more vibrant with reds and purples streaming to the sun. The tour guide would stop a few moments, turning his kayak to tell a story, or to point out something on the horizon, then they’d paddle on. It was silent for the most part. She kept glancing out of the side of her eye at him, only to see him glancing over at her. She’d smile, he’d smirk. His paddle would touch hers, she'd bump her kayak gently into his. He laughed quietly. She could see he was resisting more childish behavior and if they weren’t in a group, he would have most likely conceded to them. 

The group turned back around, heading back into the quiet harbor. They could see the nightly bonfire growing with the setting of the sun. Behind them, the sun hovered over the horizon with vibrant and bold reds filling the sky, fading as they retreated from the waterline. The clouds were defined as they would be in a painting, looking still, the pink and purple shades defining every fluffy puff. Riza’s eyes could only imagine what else she’d missed in the room. 

“Do you want to go to the bonfire,” Roy asked, breaking her gaze at the clouds. 

“Huh?” 

“Do you want to go to the bonfire?” 

She thought about it for a second, working her kayak into the harbor area. “That sounds fun,” she smiled. 

“Are you hungry?” 

“I suppose.” She had barely eaten all day. “What are you thinking?” 

“I’m thinking about dinner.” Roy’s kayak pressed against hers as they neared the sand. “Nothing fancy, just something to eat before we go out and sit by the fire.” 

“Sure. Let me just grab my jacket.” A man leaned over, grabbing the strap on the front, and hauled it onto the beach. He leaned over, helping her out of the small boat. She brushed her legs off, turning to see the same man help Roy out of his boat. Roy reached into his wallet, tipping the gentleman. 

He took two steps, reaching out to grasp her hand with a gentle smile. “Now where to find dinner?”

Arriving back at the hotel, the sun’s rays reached its final rays out for the day. The bonfire had grown bright and chairs were being brought around it. His hand only left hers when he opened the door for her and two others behind her, before it found its way back to hers. Quietly, anxiously, they stood at the elevator. She could feel the pressure around them. They were going to get up to their room and crash back into each other. Room service would once again be called and they’d watch the bonfire from their room window while sitting naked with a glass of wine. Riza didn’t “fear” it. Her cells seemed to vibrate with excitement at the thought. Imagining him picking her up and pressing her against the wall as their lips fought for control of the situation aroused her. She could almost hear his groans, feeling his chest pressed against hers as his hands tightened on her ass. She swallowed quietly and squeezed his hand with the “bing” of the elevator and the opening of the doors. Maybe going to the bonfire could wait till tomorrow night. He didn’t rush her down the hallway but walked beside her with steady and patient strides.  _ Maybe he’s just waiting. Maybe he’s just letting the sexual tension drive me insane.  _

He opened the door for her, letting it fall behind him. He stood with his hands in his pockets, surveying the damage they had inflicted on the room with a grin. “Maybe I should have had housekeeping come up.” He walked behind her, moving his pants to the side of the room. “I can still call them and have them come up.” He picked up a sock and tossed it next to his pants. 

Riza grabbed her jacket. “You’re not thinking about jumping me? You’re thinking about how messy the room is?” 

“Oh,” he laughed. “No, I am thinking about jumping you. But we have all night. My wife is hungry. Let’s go get food first.” A wiley smirk remained on his face as he stood next to her. He bent over to her level. 

Riza was more than happy to give him a kiss. 

His opinion of a quick bite to eat and her definition were two different things. “Roy,” she whispered next to him as they walked up to the podium. “This is really expensive.” 

“So?” 

“Neither of us is dressed for this place.” 

“Table for two,” he said, lifting two fingers and ignoring her objections. 

“We can come here tomorrow.” 

“Would you two like some bread?” 

Roy nodded. “Yes, thank you.” 

Neither of them matched the surrounding patrons. It didn’t seem to bother Roy in the slightest. If he was going to take her to a nice restaurant, she’d want to dress up for him, wear something appropriate for the venue. She didn’t want to be wearing something so casual in a nice restaurant where men wore nice jackets and women in slender and dark dresses. However, no one batted an eye or looked their way to indicate that they were standing out. She sat nervously as Roy looked through his menu. “Roy,” she said again. 

“I’m thinking of the hamburger,” he said casually. “Maybe a beer.” 

He was going to order a beer. Her mouth dropped into her lap. This was a place for something nicer than a beer. The setting screamed for a glass of expensive wine, coupled with port at the end with dessert. 

“Hmm… No, maybe a whiskey.” He nodded. “This one looks good,” he said as he pointed to the menu. “Riza, Love, what are you thinking?” 

She glared at him. 

He dropped the menu. “Look,” he said quietly as he leaned across the table. “For everything that you did for me earlier,” he whispered, his foot rubbing against hers, “I feel that I should be able to do something for you.” 

Riza blushed, hiding behind her menu. “I think you did enough for me,” she said quietly. 

“Oh, my Dear,” he laughed. “I’m glad you think so. But order something anyway.” He pulled the menu back up and scanned it casually.

She knew he was up to something. There was no way this was a spontaneous decision. He was thinking about this prior to the kayak ride. There was no doubt that he walked by it hours ago and said, ‘I’m going to take Riza here tonight.’ She squinted at her menu as she scanned the eight items of the evening. Then he just nonchalantly mentions dinner.  _ Ha! That’s why he didn’t want to have sex. He knew he needed to get down here.  _ She stopped as she realized something.  _ He wanted to take me here over sex…  _ This place must be really good. 

Indeed, he ordered a burger with a glass of whiskey. She settled on the fish with a side salad and a glass of white wine. Her foot tapped his as she looked around. He put some butter on a piece of bread for her, setting it gently on her plate. “So what scheme are you playing here, Roy?” She raised her eyebrow. The tone was less accusatory than the words were and he chuckled as if the words were harmless. 

“None at all, Riza. I’m just wanting to have a nice dinner with my wife.” He chuckled, shaking his head at himself. “I don’t think I will ever get used to that.” 

“What?” She tilted her head to the side. 

“Calling you my wife.” He put a buttered slice of bread on his plate. 

“I’ve been easily adapting to you as my husband.” She snickered. 

He grinned. “I hope that never changes.” His foot rubbed hers back. 

“It won’t,” she giggled, eating a small bite of her bread. “We’ve been together this long, what’s stopping us from being together the rest of our life?” 

“I will note,” he said with his mouth half full. “The sex is not better or worse than before.” 

“Not better,” Riza looked as if she was offended. 

“Or worse,” he added quickly, raising his finger to stop her from going on. “It was perfect before, and it’s perfect now.” 

“Well,” she snorted a laugh, “you seem to have more… enthusiasm once we’re married.” 

Roy accepted his drink from the waiter. “I have a lot to celebrate.” 

“You do know that we didn’t need to get married to be in love for the rest of our lives.” 

He took another bite of his bread. “Yeah. But now you can’t get away this time.” 

“You’re the one that ran away,” she accused quickly. 

“I came back and you were missing,” he countered. “I asked you to wait.”

She swirled the wine in her glass, looking innocent. He knew she wasn’t that type of girl.

“You were worth looking for,” he added softly, another foot bump, this one firmer. His eye sparkled his joy for her. “I’d probably still be looking for you now.” 

“You would have gotten over it.” 

He shook his head. “I don’t think I would have.” He leaned back as the waiter put his hamburger in front of him, then put her fish in front of her. 

She smiled, content knowing that he was still so in love with her, because she would always love him. And when their vacation together had ended, and they went back to their normal life, she’d still love him. His hand would feel the same, his cologne would be the same, and the smile he wore now would be the same. Roy always was, and would always be hers. She knew it because she was always his. He looked for her, he searched her out, and it was her own fears of losing him that kept her from saying yes. 

_ There will always be the fear of losing him,  _ her thoughts turned on her. Riza looked at her wine.  _ He’ll be with you even when he’s not here.  _ She saw the silver band on her finger.  _ And you will always be there for him.  _

“I’d love to hear what you are thinking about,” he interrupted her. 

She took a bite with a grin. “I bet you do.” 

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about.” 

“I know what you’re thinking about.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “I bet you don’t.” 

Riza hummed as she thought. “You’re thinking about taking my clothes off with your teeth.” 

Roy laughed and leaned back, putting his burger down. “Now I am.” He wiped his face. “No, I was thinking that how can this fancy place offer a hamburger? When you really think about it, a hamburger is a hamburger. What makes this one different?” 

Riza laughed softly. “Did not see that one coming! Is it at least worth the money?” 

He shrugged. “It’s pretty good. Now it’s your turn.”

His hair waved in front of his eyes, a playful smirk on his lips, as she imagined his teeth biting her panties as they pulled them off her knees. There was the dangerous glint in his dark eyes that pulled her into the mystery of his imagination. To battle her need to drag him to their room, she took a deep breath and took another bite. The smirk grew and Riza knew he knew how she was feeling. Behind her calm demeanor was a fire that he was threatening to set free. But she wouldn’t let him know that. Instead, she nodded and leaned back with a giggle. 

Roy tilted his head to the side. “What’s so funny,” he asked, leaning forward. 

“This is Manuel Ponce,” she pointed to the ceiling. 

“How do you do that,” he asked loudly, clearly amazed. 

“It’s good background music,” she continued to laugh. “I’ve been listening to some of the songs and wondering who it was I was listening to...” 

“This whole time you have been listening and wondering what we were listening to?” His mouth almost dropped into his lap. 

“It’s very beautiful though,” she agreed. 

“Alright,” he smirked, and she saw a challenge coming. He raised his eyebrow, his chest filling with air. “What era is he from?” 

“Ponce? Well, he’s from just South of Aerugo, from the early 1900s. He doesn’t play music so much oriented with his culture but of one to the West.” 

Roy waved his hand, acting as if the question meant nothing to him. “Do you know what song this is then, Smarty-pants?” 

“That, I do not know,” she admitted, continuing to laugh. 

He grinned, challenging her with his own eyes. “You love hearing music, I love hearing your laugh.” 

“It’s just a laugh,” she tried to counter. 

“But it’s your laugh. I can hear it in a crowd and know it’s yours.” 

Riza wasn’t really sure what to say after that. She’d admit that he had a knack for saying exactly what needed to be said at the right moment. It was too bad that compliments were sometimes overwhelming to her. Instead, Riza tried to take them humbly and smiled a thanks to him. His dark eyes were relaxed, a slight squint as they adored her. It looked as if he was looking at a painting, one that made him feel warm inside. The crooked smile turned soft, a slight dimple on the corner of his lip, and face settling. But she could not look away. And the more she stared at him, the more she could see his thoughts, his stare turning into a mischievous mind, succeeding to the thought of taking the painting for himself. 

He raised his eyebrow again, slowly sipping his whiskey. It was a game of “who will look away first” as they didn’t even look away to take a bite of food. His foot bumped hers again as his eyebrows raised. It looked like he was so secure, smug even, with an all-knowing grin and his chest puffed out. He knew she wanted him and he was relishing in the thought. He nodded to her, flirting back, acknowledging her desires. It made her laugh. He was just hot stuff showing off. Her foot bumped his as she turned her head and looked out of the side of her eye. She then broke the eye contact and looked down at her food. 

“You’re right,” she said quietly. “This is a great place for dinner.” 

He didn’t say anything, still looking intensely at her. 

“How are things coming here.” 

Riza looked up at the young gentleman of a waiter. “It’s very wonderful, thank you.” 

“Can I get you more wine?” 

Riza nodded and looked back at Roy and his grin. “What?” She could see his mind wandering in the depth of some memory just by the smirk he was wearing with the slight tilt of his head. He was admiring her. 

“Remember when we were kids, there was that one night it was raining?” 

“It rained a lot, Roy.” 

“The one time that we ended up in your bedroom and I had to climb out your window and jump to the ground because your dad almost caught us.” 

She only grinned.  _ Ah! That time.  _

“What? I was just short of twenty? You were seventeen?” 

Riza nodded at the server bringing her a new glass of wine.

“It’d been raining and I had helped you wrangle the chickens back into their pen,” he nodded, his grin growing. “Your dad was in his study and we snuck upstairs.” Roy finished off his whiskey. “I just remember taking off my shirt and kissing you until you bumped into your bed and you fell onto it.” 

“You were a pretty sexy young man,” she said softly as she leaned over the table. 

“And I was in the process of taking your shirt off.” She felt Roy’s foot glide up her inner thigh. 

“I’m almost certain dad heard us when you tossed your boots back and they hit the wall.” 

He laughed, his foot reaching farther between her legs, nearing her center. “But you can’t tell me that it wasn’t hot, right?” 

She nodded, shifting to set her thighs closed around his foot. “He came marching up the stairs, and I’ve never seen you in such a hurry to get out. You looked all over, and I remember you seriously debated the closet.” 

“Your room was two stories up! I didn’t want to jump out!” 

“But you did. Dad came in, glaring at me.” 

“What did you do to my shirt and shoes?” His foot dropped back to the ground. “I ran home barefoot.” 

“They went straight under my bed.” Riza laughed. He asked what all the commotion was and I said that I was sorry for making so much noise, that I just came in from the rain. I think he knew it was you the whole time.” 

He looked fondly at her. “I remember you pushing me against the wall,” he chuckled. 

Riza looked up as the waiter came back to them. “Would you like to see the dessert menu?” 

Riza looked at Roy and shook her head. “I’m full and ready to go outside.” 

Roy reached into his pocket and handed the waiter his card. “Can we both get a drink to go? Can we take them outside?”

The waiter nodded. “Of course, Sir. I will be right back.” 

“How did we do all that kissing and never have sex?” 

Riza tapped her chin as she thought. That was a good question. There were some heavy petting and really good grinding, but they never did have sex. “I think we both know why?” 

Roy nodded slowly. “Age shouldn’t have stopped us.” 

“Is that what we are doing? Making up for lost time?” 

Roy accepted the receipt and signed his name. “I think we are just made for each other.” He stood up, reaching to pull her seat back for her. “I can’t imagine a day without you.” 

She stood up, turning to peck a kiss on his cheek. 

“Here you are, Sir.” 

They turned to accept the additional drinks and Roy indicated for her to walk out first. In casual clothes, he was treating the night as if they were both dressed their finest. He was so gentlemanly as his hand reached behind her, his palm on the small of her back. He didn’t guide her, but matched her steps. The only time he pushed ahead of her was to grab the door for her as they exited the hotel. It was only then that she captured his hand with hers and they walked towards the fire on the beach. 

The fire brought sparkles to her wine glass. It illuminated his dark hair, exemplified his features as she looked at him. He sighed through his nose as he brought his glass to his lips. A shadow flickered, waving back and forth with the flames’ mirrored light. Roy turned, looking for an empty chaise to lounge in and Riza knew this isn’t where she wanted to be. Who wanted to be on their honeymoon, cuddling with others watching? 

“I know where to go,” she whispered. With a pull on his hand, they turned and faced the darkness. She grabbed one of the provided blankets the hotel had for the fire, and they walked along the beach. Neither said anything as the darkness consumed their bodies. They looked up at the sky, seeing spots of stars behind the coming clouds. After a few spaces, she looked over to see one of the hammocks. “Here,” she said as she nodded towards them. 

“Oh? You want to do it in a hammock?” 

Riza tilted her head before shrugging. “I will try everything at least once.” She put her wine glass in the sand by one of the trees. He settled in first, balancing it while she climbed in beside him. There was a quick toss of the blanket over them and Riza snuggled close to her best friend. Her arm rested on his abdomen, his arm around her protectively, holding her to his side, an easy pillow for her head. She could hear his pulse in her ear, feel his chest rise with each breath under her hand. Her eyes closed as she thought back to the kayak ride. They’d always be young at heart. There wasn’t a serious bone in his body. How he was in the military was a wonder to her. 

“I love you,” he whispered into the quiet darkness.

“I love you too, Roy.” 

“No,” he squeezed her to him. “I really do love you.” 

She smiled, kissing his shoulder. “I really do love you too.” 

His foot escaped the blanket to press off the tree, encouraging a sway.  _ We’re so going to fall asleep,  _ she sighed in her head.  _ We’re going to wake up cold or on the sand.  _ And Riza was okay with that. At that moment, she just wanted to be close to him, to snuggle with him. Sex didn’t matter and thinking back to their childhood she realized how much of that was true. Maybe they were making up for lost time, but they had built a strong foundation of love and commitment just through presence and dedication. She remembered more times when they laughed over card games, or stupid jokes, and even she’d jump out of the bushes and scare him. Age wasn’t the reason why they didn’t have sex when they were younger. It was because it wasn’t needed. They didn’t need sex to love each other. 

* * *

The surf was decent enough to be on a board, good learning environment. She’d followed along just to be there, laying on her board and letting the water gently sway her up and down. Even with the sunscreen on, Riza figured she was still going to burn. She wasn’t out there to surf anyway. 

“Would you like to try,” the instructor asked her. 

Riza shook her head, sitting up to see Roy’s board fly from under him as he crashed into the sea. He popped up, shaking his head and puffing out water from his mouth. His long hair stuck to his face, a glare of determination at his board. “You will not defeat me,” he swore. 

“Don’t forget…” 

The instructor’s voice faded as she watched Roy climb back onto the board. He had quite the sexy body. His back especially. He could hold up the world if he needed to. Her eyes enjoyed the view of his shorts, hiding his perfectly toned ass. The white scar on his side reminding her of his resilience. His arms stretched out and she saw his chest expand with his breath. 

“You’re too stiff,” the instructor corrected. “Loosen up, Dude.” 

Another larger crest floated under him and she watched him stiffen again in a desperate hope to keep his balance. 

“Just relax,” she yelled at him. 

“You want to come do this?” He called back. 

“No,” she answered simply. 

“We’re going to go forward so that the water starts to move you forward. Relax and lean forward. Don’t be afraid.” 

“The sharks won’t eat you,” Riza laughed. 

“Shut up!” 

“You would like snorkeling,” the instructor chuckled as he got on his own board as he paddled toward the beach. “They see some big sharks sometimes.” 

Roy turned his head to glare at her but Riza was unafraid of her own laugh. He carefully lowered himself on the board and started swimming it with his teacher to the shore. “If I die, I just want you to know that you’re not in my will yet.” 

“I’m calling that bluff,” she said with a splash. 

“Taylor will inherit my fortune.” 

“All 5 cenz worth,” she snorted. Lazily, and with minimal effort, Riza followed the two of them closer to the bigger waves. Roy would stand up, go a few feet, then fall off like a wet monkey falling off an oiled branch. His arms would go wide, his face in shock, and sometimes there’d be a little “ahh,” before you’d see him disappear beneath the blue scene. She knew he was trying, bending his legs with the same look in his eyes when he got a stupid idea. 

“Stay forward on the board,” the instructor commented as Roy started going forward again. 

He floated right into the lower surf, his hand extending in the air as he yipped with victory. “I fucking did it,” he yelled out. 

Riza cheered with him from her position. “For someone who hates water, you will be very good at surfing,” she yelled to him. 

“Afraid of water,” he snorted a laugh and he brought his board back to the two of them. “I own these waves!” 

The instructor laughed. “You can say that when you can turn.” 

“You turn?” Roy’s eyes widened. 

But time didn’t allow them to play out on the water all day. Riza made her way back to the beach and sought comfort in the shade. Roy sprawled out next to her, sand sticking to his wet body. “You never stop sleeping,” she giggled, wiggling her feet into the cool sand. 

“You drag me all over this place, I’m tired!” 

Riza rolled her eyes. “I’m the one that went with you.” 

“And you watched,” he huffed. 

“You’re cute with you pout,” she snickered looking over her shoulder. 

“Men aren’t cute,” Roy grumped. “We’re sexy, damn it.” 

“You’re sexily tired.” 

“Come here,” he laughed, grabbing her arm and pulling her down into the sand. “I’ll make you tired!” 

Riza laughed as he rolled on top of her and looked down at her. She would have struggled and begun a good wrestle with him, but instead, the two stilled and her hands reached for his hair, speckled with golden sand. He leaned down slowly, pressing his lips against hers, kissing her delicately. It was feathery light, a breath as he connected with her. Riza heard his hands shifted in the sand on either side of her shoulders and she reciprocated by grabbing his sides, pulling him so their bodies could be closer. Even then, he just let them touch. There was no force, no driving motion, no need, and no desire. But there was. Her fingers grabbed more desperately at his sides and she moaned lightly as she felt his lips pull from hers. She wanted to scream at him, tell him to stop playing games. Maybe she’d try to overthrow him or take off and head back to the hotel room. She wanted control of the situation and he was not playing her game. He was not giving her what she wanted. Before she could bite his bottom lip, he rose from her, sitting up so that he was sitting above her. 

Without saying another word, he stood up and brushed himself off. Riza watched him, in utter disbelief that he’d do that to her. She sat up on her elbows and looked him up and down. It was clear by a certain bulge that he wanted her too. He reached down for her hand. “Sleeping on the beach isn’t that comfortable.” 

“You want to go back to the hotel?” 

“I think we can both use a shower.” 

But as they turned to walk down the beach, he hand reached out for hers and Riza looked up to see him smiling down at her. Maybe they would shower and take a nap. Maybe she’d tackle him and get more than just a kiss. It didn’t matter though. In the end, they’d take the moments together over the moments apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FLUFF!! Come on... what comes after a wedding chapter? I know... not so much smut for a honeymoon fic. I got carried away with other things. I guess you wouldn't have minded an additional few pages for some quality honeymoon smut... Too bad. Maybe next chapter eh. I really enjoyed going into their childhood. It's one of my favorite parts of writing this fic. They are just too cute! Thank you for reading! Check me out on tumbr @snowdog49. You can even say hi! Anyway, have a super fantastic day.


	27. Reenlistment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy must decide to reenlist or not. In reality, he already knows his answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more to go! And I think we need more fluff!

Roy sat in the office of his Colonel. The square man stroked his mustache with his finger and thumb as he looked over the paperwork. If there was a more impeccable looking officer, Roy couldn’t find them. Colonel Fairbanks had always been about appearances. He stood tall and straight, despite his heavier build, and he always wore his uniform as if it was part of his body. It was pressed, all the badges and metals on it, added to the shiny boots that you could see a reflection from. When Roy was first under his command, he once was asked to “prissy up,” meaning to start looking like an officer and not like a soldier. His voice was deep, coarse, and demanding. He liked his coffee as black as it could be, a rumor being that he brewed his coffee with coffee to get the coffee taste right. To anyone else, Colonel Fairbanks could be uptight and intimidating. But to Roy, he wasn’t. The Colonel had a soft heart, liked to laugh, and was always amused by certain antics. Roy found that as long as he looked like his Colonel felt he should look, and got his work done to expectation, Roy could get away with quite a bit. “I know that you’re not available for a promotion, Major, but I’m going to recommend it anyway.” 

Roy nodded but didn’t say anything. 

“You’ve always been a fine officer. You put this country to a good name, an example of what Amestris stands for.” He stopped stroking his mustache and stood up, putting his arms behind his back as he came from behind his desk and to the side. “And you do realize the bonus that is involved, right?”

Roy continued to nod. The fact that he was in his Colonel’s office about this just showed the suspicion his Colonel had that Roy wasn’t going to reenlist. The man was far from an idiot. On the contrary, he was very observant and cared deeply for his men. If Roy did stay in the military, it’d be just to continue working under him. 

“That’s an incentive on its own.” He leaned on the side of the heavy oak desk, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll give you more responsibility. I think you can handle taking on more of the training, maybe in some different departments. I know you don’t want to go to the front, but I’d like to get you out there just for training and observation.” His gaze softened. “I think you have a lot of potential, Mustang.” 

He didn’t want to go out there, no matter how much potential anyone saw in him. He didn’t want to get caught up in anything that would leave him in charge of something out there. He’d end up staying out there. On top of all that stress, he’d have to deal with the hysteria of his wife. Riza would be completely upset.  _ The hazard pay would be nice though... _ Roy laughed to himself.

But his Colonel raised his hand and smiled. “Don’t worry. It’d only be for a few days. I know you like being hands-on, that’s all.” 

“I am giving it serious thought,” Roy promised. And he was. However, there were other things to consider. It’d be another four years. And as much as he loved working for the military, he worried that the stress of his job might wear on his marriage.

He watched his superior officer nod slowly. “If there’s anything I can do to sway you to reenlist, please let me know. I love having you here, Mustang. I’d like to keep it that way.” 

Roy nodded. “I will, Sir.” 

“Get out of here,” the Colonel waved his hand with a chuckle.

Roy sat down in his office and tapped his pen on his desk as he looked over a training manual that was being renewed. It wouldn’t be something he’d normally look over, but this was the extra work that they kept talking about. With a heavy sigh, Roy leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose. His mind wasn’t on the papers as it should be. He was caught in a mind battle of reasoning. Should he quit or stay? On one hand, he had Riza, his wife, who had always wanted to see him quit. But it was something that he’d grown into. Like Colonel Fairbanks had said, he was a representation of the army that even he was proud of. How could he make Riza more at ease? And in reality, Roy had to determine if he really did want to sign his life to the country or not. 

Roy was aware of the consequences of his bullheadedness more than a year ago. It had cost him easy advancement, however, the incident never sat well with him. It wasn’t like something that he’d ever have to do anyway, he found himself saying. They’d worked him up into an emotional situation thanks to Major Kimblee. He could work past that. If he could work his way up, he could still change the way the war was being fought, one step at a time. It was a matter of how much could he put his relationship through? And he knew Riza had come mostly to terms with his lifestyle, however, that was the problem. It was going to be his way of living. 

At lunch, he sat with Maes as they ate in the cafeteria. The room was loud with the bustle of other officers, the wafting fragrance of salty, greasy, military-grade food. Roy didn’t normally find himself in this cafeteria. He usually ate lunch at his desk. But getting out of his office would prove to be a relief. Or he thought it would. At first, he wanted to talk about Maes’ new daughter, which was a better topic than the thought debate that raged in his head. 

“She is absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Maes had went on. The man hadn’t even touched his own lunch as he showed pictures of his newborn daughter sleeping and in the arms of his wife. “She’s going to have everything she wants. I’m going to buy her a pony and every balloon, and…” 

Roy was truly happy for his friend. Maes was a family man, always had Gracia. Though he’d say that he always had Riza, he wasn’t sure if he had her at all. Maes had letters, Roy had a picture. Maes was also so sure of everything. He was elaborate, extravagant, and was willing to go for it… whatever “it” was. Roy was not. He had to be sure of things, calculate the risks, determine all the factors before making a decision - minus the constant promotion to Riza.  _ Maybe we really aren’t so different are we, Friend?  _

“I don’t have any more pictures,” Maes laughed. “What ‘bout you?” 

Roy looked up from his sandwich. 

“Aren’t you up for re-enlistment?” Mae leaned back and looked back at his picture. “I just signed mine.” 

“I”m not sure if I’m going to,” Roy mumbled. 

“Why not,” Maes cocked his head, putting the stack of pictures in his jacket pocket over his heart. “It’s good steady money, great experience, and hey!  The retirement is great.” He watched Maes lean forward and pick up a fry. “Is this about Riza?” 

Roy took a bite of his sandwich and nodded. “I don’t think she understands how we feel about the military. This is our life.” 

Maes held up a finger and shook his head. “The military is not my life,” he quickly corrected. “My family is my life. This is my job.” 

“If Gracia asked you to leave would you?” 

“Has Riza asked you to leave?” 

“Riza has wanted me to leave since we met back up.” 

Maes nodded as he started to understand. “But do  _ you  _ want to leave?”

Roy set his sandwich back down and chewed his bite thoughtfully. That was the million cenz question. “There are too many factors.” He leaned back and looked around as if he was avoiding the question. “This is who I am. Who am I supposed to be after I leave?” 

“You’re Roy, Roy. Last time I checked you were not a military tool with a serial stamp on your ass.” 

“Oh, come on, Maes. You know we are just regarded as tools.” 

“Somethings you have to accept. You have this opportunity to not accept it any longer. I can’t tell you the right answer if you are looking for it.” Maes picked up another fry and leaned over the table. “What I can tell you is that I’m sure Riza wants you to be happy. So, make the decision for yourself, not her.” 

The conversation didn’t really help. It should have. Roy leaned back in his office chair, putting his hands behind his head. There was the reminder of what Jean had said to him a couple months ago too.  _ “I regret leaving. If I knew that they were going to pay me well and let me sit in an office, I would have stayed.” _ Roy was in a very good position. He wasn’t on the lines, he was sitting cozy in an office with the most work being done once or twice a month. He was paid well too. He had enough to still put money in savings and pay for the apartment and their needs somewhat comfortably.

There was always the factor that he was a tool, just as he told Maes. He didn’t feel like an individual like his Colonel treated him. He wished he was. When it came down to it, he could be plucked from his position for any reason and thrown into another, whatever that is. General Kremlin and Raven proved that true. He couldn’t let them stop him though. He had to keep looking forward, still trying to do what he felt right. That is what mattered. Roy frowned. But did it? He did have to hypothetically send his men into a trap. 

He trudged home, chewing on his lip. He should do it. He should just keep his head down, look forward to protecting more men through his training. It was him that kept them safe. Without him… Roy opened the door to his apartment to find it empty.  _ That’s right. She’s with Maria.  _ It was probably a good thing too. He needed to just space out. 

Roy didn’t even find leftovers in the fridge. He grabbed a bag of opened chips and headed into the office room. He sat heavily in his drafting chair and opened his book. He was just over a month away from graduating. It’d been something healthy for him to focus on something else than the stress of work. It’d turned out to be a good escape. He put his earbuds in and picked up his pencil. The lines were simple, his fingers and thoughts creating something other than a document on procedures of this and that. There was a difference in creating and maintaining. _Maybe one day I will design a home for us…. For her. That would be wonderful._ _She deserves it._

“Hey,” he heard with hands on his shoulders. 

Roy jumped, turning and pulling his headphones from his ears. “Damn it, Riza!” 

She giggled as she looked over her shoulder. “Going to be up late with homework again?” 

He nodded, turning his seat to pull at her hips. He wanted her to sit in his lap. She was so pretty with her hair up and her gentle smile. “You look like you had a good time with Maria.” 

Riza nodded, catching a stray hair and curling it behind her ear. “Sorry, I was late coming home.”

Roy shrugged it off. “No big deal. Gave me time to come in here and start on this.” 

Riza leaned down to kiss him briefly. “Just don’t stay up too late.” 

He smiled. She walked out of his office area and he watched her as she turned into the kitchen. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted loudly. 

Her head poked from the kitchen. “About what?” 

“My re-enlistment is up in a few weeks.” 

She nodded. “Yeah, I know that. Have you figured out what you’re going to do about it?” 

Roy looked down at his fidgeting hands. “I’m really looking at staying. I’ve been weighing the consequences and I can’t decide.” 

“Why do you want to stay?” Riza came back to his doorway and leaned against the frame. “Why do you want to leave?” 

He crossed his legs, leaning in his chair. “This is what I’m good at, Riza. I’ve been doing this long enough that this is who I am. You know this.” 

She nodded slowly. 

“But I know how much you want me to leave.” 

“I just think you are better than they are.” 

Roy snorted. Maybe he was, but he didn’t feel that way. “My life has been the military.” 

“That doesn’t mean that you have to remain there.” 

Roy laughed lightly. “You’re going to argue the other side because you want me to leave.” 

Riza smiled back at him. “Of course I am, and of course I do. Like I said, you’re better than them.” She held her hand up, lifting a finger. “You are taking architecture classes. You can’t tell me that you are taking them with the idea of having something to do when you get out. Second,” she lifted a second finger, “you have so much more potential as an individual. You aren’t even being recognized for your good ideas. You have told me this over and over again how it frustrates you the way they do things. When you bring these things up, they shoot you down.” 

Roy grumped and ran his hand through his hair. “Maybe. But the military has great benefits. And it’s only after twenty years of service. I want to take care of you. I’m good at what I do, Riza. I’m making a difference with my training.” 

“You can make a difference wherever you go. Who’s to say you won’t make a difference in architecture?” She stood up and walked towards him, reaching next to him to get a chip. “I think that you are scared that you won’t do well at anything. But I know you will.” 

She was right even though he’d never admit it. “I know that you don’t want me to stay. And I want to do right by you.” 

“You’re not wrong,” she agreed softly, her tone level. “But this isn’t about me, Roy. It’s about you.” She grabbed another chip and popped it in her mouth. “I know how frustrated you are. I don’t want you to come home because you’re not able to do what you think is right.” 

“You don’t want me to get deployed.” He reached for a chip with a chuckle. “It’s more than my mild tantrums.” 

She nodded pulling his chair towards her so she could wiggle into his lap. “When you came home and you said that they asked you to hypothetically send troops into a trap to get killed.... Would you do it?” 

Roy let his hands rest on her hips as he looked at his wife. She leaned over him, kissing his nose gently. 

“I remember you telling me how you don’t want to be associated with warmongers like that. I remember you even saying that you were out as soon as you could be.” 

_ That was then, this is now.  _

“Don’t forget what their motives are.” 

“I can save lives if I’m still in training.” 

“So will the next guy,” she quickly argued in a tender reply. “And if you stay in for the next four years, you don’t know if they will move you out of training.” She nodded over her shoulder. “And you’ll be finished with your degree in a few weeks. You can move to architecture and do things that you actually love. That’s the difference.” 

He nodded. 

“They really have fucked you over.” She leaned down in a whisper, putting her head on his. “And I know that you want to make that difference. It’s hard to see a difference in architecture.” 

He nodded again. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I may make a difference in other places but it’s not going to be easy. An internship doesn’t get paid very much and I’m not even sure I will be accepted.” 

She frowned. “You know that I will follow you into the unknown right? If that’s the risk we have to take, I’m willing to take it with you.” Her hands ran up and down his chest as she leaned back. Roy would be wrong if he said she wasn’t arousing him even with the serious talk. “But,” she shrugged and reached to the side for a chip. “I will also follow you if your heart tells you otherwise. I’m just saying how pissed off you were with General whats-his-face about making you make an unethical decision… It was wrong. And I think that you are way better than they are.” 

He nodded and reached for a chip himself. “It’s what I know.” 

“You know more than you give yourself credit for, Roy. You know this,” she pointed behind him. “You know what’s right and wrong,” she poked him in the chest. “And I think you know what you want to do. You’re just fighting it because you’re scared.” 

_ She’s right on so many levels.  _ “What if I don’t like architecture?” 

“Then we do something else. Roy, I gave up going East. We’re in this together. That’s what we are, together. We can do this. But I know you enough to think that you will like it.” 

He nodded with a sigh. “Yeah…” 

She slid off his legs, leaving him by himself. “Think it over tonight. You have time to reason with yourself.” 

“And what if I pick you?” He called out. 

She walked into the kitchen without looking back. “Pick you, Roy, and I will stand by you. It’s not about me.” 

Roy didn’t sleep very much. He did hover over his desk, reading part of his book and following the instructions, but when he did come to bed he looked at the ceiling. It came to taking care of her, or taking care of himself. Her hand patted his chest sometime in the night and told him to go to sleep, but he only closed his eyes. When his alarm went off, he was sure that he had only slept an hour. 

“I won’t miss you getting up this early,” Riza grumbled next to him. 

With a grunt, he got up and dragged himself into the shower. 

* * *

With the weekend coming closer, so was the deadline to his answer. Roy already knew what he was going to say.  _ I’m out of here!  _ But it hurt him to think he was going to go. He’d announce it and have about a week left of duties before having to clean out his office. It would feel good, he admitted, but the future was far from known. 

“It’s kind of ironic,” Maes said as he chewed a candy bar while leaning in Roy’s office’s doorway. “You are going to use the experience the military gave you to find a career outside the military. I thought you were looking to go into an engineering branch?” 

Roy sighed. That was a factor he had overlooked. With the degree, a transfer would be easier. There’d be more security in that position too. 

“I say you fucking take it,” Maes said with his mouth full. “Go home. Find something new to do. The military isn’t for everyone.” 

“That’s the thing, it is for me,” Roy argued quietly, looking at his shadowbox with his gloves in it. 

“But here you are getting out,” his best friend argued. “Maybe you are made for better things.” 

“Do you see yourself ever getting out?”

Maes shrugged. “Probably not. I have it made. And in twenty years, I will go into a private detective sector.” 

Roy snorted a laugh. 

“You can always go into reserves, but that doesn’t really mean anything. Just means that you can be picked up in a month and they can do whatever with you.” 

“That’s true.” Roy leaned back and put his feet on his desk. “Maybe it’s time for me to leave and go apply myself to something else.” He grinned. “Something less stressful.” 

Maes waved his hand in the air. “You’ll be stressed, just in different ways.” 

“It will be good…” Roy’s voice drifted off. “They shot themselves in the foot. The Colonel will know why. He’s not stupid.” Roy rubbed his chin and dropped his feet to the ground. It was weird to admit it to himself, that he’d be leaving something he fought so hard for. “I just kept telling her that this is who I was, and now it’s not.” 

“Naw,” Maes began to argue. “That’s the thing. It will always be a part of you. It’s a part of Jean, and it’s a part of me. The difference is in how we perceive it. You’re just going to go on and do other things.” 

“I’m kind of backing out of everything I said though. I am turning on myself.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I never ever thought I’d be doing it.” 

Maes walked in and threw the candy bar’s wrapper in the trash by Roy’s desk. “Neither did I. But now that we’ve talked about it, I think Riza’s right. They are just going to use you. You’re too good of a guy. Go do other things and be better than a desk monkey.” 

Later that day, Roy brushed his uniform off and locked his door. He might as well get the news over with. He would start applying for firm jobs, or anything he could get his hands onto while he waited to get into architecture. His gut turned as he walked down the halls. He really hoped that he could. Internship or not, he needed to enter the field of his study. Doubts filled his head again, wondering if he was doing the right thing if he was going to be able to take care of his family… of Riza. Then his head would be filled with memories of a smoke-filled room and a General staring him down and threatening him with a court-martial for a hypothetical scenario. It made his blood boil. Riza was right. They didn’t deserve him. 

“Come in,” the deep boisterous voice boomed from behind the door. 

Roy stepped into the Colonel’s office with his chest out and a confident step. His feet clicked together as he saluted his superior officer.

“I expected to talk to you next week,” he greeted, giving Roy a proper salute before offering him a seat. 

“I might as well just get it over with,” Roy chuckled nervously. “I’ve decided to not re-enlist. I think I will just go home and try something else.” 

His Colonel stopped what he was doing and looked up at Roy with a shocked face. It looked as if the old man didn’t know what to say in return. “Can we… What…” The man sighed and shook his head. “I personally don’t want to see you go. Is there anything I can say or do to keep you to stay?” 

Roy took a loud inhale and a soft exhale. “I was not very happy with the threats from superior officers,” he began. “I shouldn’t have been sent to those meetings in the first place.” 

“They requested your presence,” Colonel Fairbanks confirmed. 

“I felt set up,” Roy continued. “Nevertheless, I’ve decided that I want to leave and try to go into something else.” 

The square man sighed loudly from his mouth, his shoulders sagging. “There is not much I can offer you. I’ve given you everything.” 

“It’s not you,” Roy laughed. 

“I will see to it that you are given all that I can. You truly are an exceptional officer. Don’t be afraid to use me as a reference.” 

“Thank you, Sir.” 

* * *

A heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders and there was an extra bounce in his step. Roy was in an incredibly good mood. It was disappointing that Riza wasn’t home when he got there.  _ She must be at Maria’s again,  _ he wondered.  _ She shouldn’t be working this late.  _ He took out his phone, sending a quick  **‘where are ya’** text. He was truthfully excited to see her, to tell her it was all over. In a week he’d be free and he could be a bum for a while. The thought made his body shiver. He wasn’t a man who liked being idle. He could still finish school as he still had those benefits for another year. Not long after that, he could start looking for a more permanent career.  _ I should be looking for one now,  _ he thought as he leaned over the fridge to look for something to eat.  _ I’ll do it tomorrow.  _ Because there was nothing like procrastination on a Thursday. In the meantime, he’d eat some leftovers and watch the news and wait for Riza to come home to tell her.

* * *

Roy took another bite of his stale pizza, unfazed. The news was boring, riddled with known and awful things. It seemed that every day it was the same news. At least they were covering interesting points of corruption of something rather earlier in the week. The fact that he didn’t know it only solidified the idea that it was boring to him. Roy leaned back, letting his head fall back and he stared at the dark ceiling. He imagined her hands all over him, rolling over his shoulders, draping down his chest. He slowly smiled, his stomach growing warm as he could imagine her sitting in his lap. Her lips would suck on his, her teeth pulling gently on his bottom lip as she hummed, enticing a groan deep from within him. Roy reached down to adjust himself. The hard beast in his boxers needed attention and he wondered when his wife would be home. Roy ran his hand through his hair and looked towards the door. It was getting late and he was sure that she was going to be later knowing how she liked to talk with Maria. He reached his hand into his boxers and slid his hand over his shaft. 

The door opened. The lights were turned on to light up the room. 

Roy pulled his hand from his pants and looked over at Riza as she turned on the living room lights. “Hi,” he said with a cough. 

She just stared at him. “Seriously?” She burst into laughter. 

“What?” Roy got up and greeted her with a short kiss. “I missed you.” 

“More ways than one,” she giggled as she pointed to the tenting of his boxers. 

“He missed you too.” Roy scratched the back of his head. 

“Apparently. Did you eat?” 

“The rest of that pizza.” He followed her into the bedroom and leaned against the doorway. “How’s Maria and Denny?” 

“Denny is being a baby.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Ah,” he said quietly with a light chuckle. 

“He was upset he didn’t have more of a say about the honeymoon.” 

Roy nodded, watching her get undressed. When she reached for her pajamas, he came up behind her and pulled them from her grasp. “You’re not going to let me tell you about my day?” 

Riza turned with a huff. “I didn’t think that your work was exciting enough to take my pajama pants from me.” 

Roy laughed. “I quit. I have a week left and then I’m done.” 

Riza’s eyes got big and a large smile curled upwards. “You actually did it? You don’t want to stay?” 

Roy shrugged as he tossed her pants away. “It will give me more… diversity… to see outside those white walls.” 

“What about the benefits?” 

“I will get a job with benefits too. They aren’t limited to the military.” 

Riza about jumped up and down as she held his shirt. “This is so exciting.” 

It was the reaction he was hoping for. He reached behind her to pull her close for a deep kiss. He pressed his lips against her, breathing her in. Her fingers tightened on his shirt and her body stopped jittering. It didn’t go rigid either. Her fingers were grasping at his shirt to stay standing. A tender moan escaped as he tightened his hold on her ass. As they parted, he picked her up and tossed her playfully on the bed. “I think it’s time for some celebration,” he announced. 

“I think so,” Riza laughed. “I’m now excited to have you home more, I can get a little more attention.” Riza raised her eyebrow as she turned over, wiggling her hips at him. 

Roy grinned mischievously. In a swoop, his shirt flew from him and he undid his belt. “Excitement is a mild term compared to what I was thinking. Lustful is more of my style.” 

“Pride is more your style,” she corrected, turning to fall on her back. 

He jumped onto the bed, hovering over her. With knees on either side of her hips and his hands by her head, Roy looked deep into her wooded eyes. They were light with a red hue. Her lips were luscious, her cheeks pink like cherry blossoms. It was a mere second of admiring before his lips descended on her like a gentle rain of summer.

He loved the way her fingers felt on her sides, the way her nails would scratch lightly against his ribs. Certainly, she could feel him moan under her fingers, the deep vibrations which rippled from his chest. It was all for her. Like his dreams, she bit and tugged playfully at his bottom lip, begging for more attention. It might have been his imagination, but he tasted vanilla under her ear, and her hot breath of a gasp in his name. 

“Roy,” she breathed, rolling so that their hips could touch. Like two stars being pulled by gravitational forces, he lowered his body to hers. He allowed themselves to touch, to rest on each other. His erection felt hot against her, pulsing for her hand. As her lips tangled, her tongue playing with his, he wanted her the same in his boxers. She must have known because she whispered, “Tell me what you want.” It made his body shiver that she’d reward him so with his gentle affections. Her hands pressed upon his shoulders and Roy sat up, hovering over her. 

“I want your lips elsewhere,” he groaned, grabbing himself to insinuate his meanings. 

Her fingers tugged on his waistband. “It’s hard to do that with these on.” 

He fell off of her as he hurriedly shed the boxers before returning back to her. Leaning back on his knees, she took him in her mouth. Roy’s head tilted back and he moaned to the ceiling. The way her tongue massaged the large vein on the underside of his dick made his worries flutter away. At that moment, it was just the two of them. She gave herself to him in a selfless act. It made his stomach tighten with the feelings she gave him. She knew exactly how to touch him, how to moan when she took him deep into her mouth, and how to pull down on his testicles just right. Though he wanted to, he kept his hands from her head and placed them on the back of his neck. Looking down at her was spiritual. “Riza,” he breathed. Her lips tightened as they pulled towards his tip, popping from with him loudly and smiling up at him. He wanted to give everything to her. 

“Deeper,” she asked as she licked the tip like a sucker. 

“Riza,” he gasped. He leaned back, surrendering himself to her. 

Her hand tugged at his balls, a playful smile curling on her lips. “You like that?” It was a dumb question considering she knew exactly what she was doing.

Roy nodded dumbly, open mouthed like a dog wanting a biscuit. 

Her tongue danced a waltz with the tip of his dick, swirling around it. He was so sensitive that it almost tickled and he held in a laugh. She knew it though and her eyes met his with a giggle of her own. Her lips engulfed him, moving slowly, receding and descending in slow motion. It was borderline agony. He wanted to press her down, forcing herself to about swallow him up, however, that ruined the fun she always had for him.  _ She  _ liked it when she could have complete control, ordering him to relinquish control to her. His whole body stiffened as the suction she created at his base. His fingers tightened at his neck, his mouth open with a groan. It didn’t matter if it was a touch on his arm, or a scratch on his chest, she made his body beg for more touch. As her hands slid up his abdomen, it sent sparks of heat throughout his body. 

His eyes squeezed shut and he let his body feel the raging sensations that she tortured him with. Back on their honeymoon, she did the same thing. She rode him out, no matter how much he bucked, Riza Hawkeye held on with a screaming yell of his name. She tamed him with her kiss, settling his antsy mind with a brush of her fingers through his hair. Her lips on his cock brought him to his knees as he begged her to finish him like the weak man he was. She may have been a virgin when all of this yahoo had started, but she learned too quickly and remembered every detail. Now she had him exactly where he belonged: in her hands. 

A loud pop brought him back and Roy looked down through his hair to see her smiling up at him. “It’s only been a few days.” She let her finger trace a line of precum. 

“It only has to be a few days.” There was only a split second to act if he wanted to regain control. Part of him begged to remain still and to be spoiled by his wife. The other part told him that it was dangerous to leave her unattended. He flipped her to the side, Riza laughing as he mounted her. “Maybe you need a lesson on how horny your husband gets after a few days.” 

“I think I know,” she snarked back sarcastically. “Damn near humping my leg!” Her body twitched as he kissed her hip. “Touching yourself in the living room….” 

“I would have been touching you if you were home,” he mumbled into the crook of her leg. His fingers brushed her sides, dipping between her folds only to feel her wet. It was amusing to swim his finger up and down, playing with her slick self like a child would play with some colored sparkle filled goo they got from a cenz machine. It was not only entertaining but arousing knowing that she was biologically craving his attention. Easily his fingers felt in her, relishing in the tightening spasms that matched her moans. He grinned, looking up to see it was her turn to resist pressing him deeper into her. Her fists gripped the pillow behind her, knuckles going white, as she screamed through her teeth which bit her lip. It was the most beautiful thing he’d seen, something he needed throughout the whole day. Deeply his fingers sought her pleasure, exploring to find her undoing. 

It came easily, much more so than he expected. Her body curled inward as her mouth opened. A high pitched whine escaped as she sought to be quiet in the apartment. Though Roy was disappointed, he knew why she’d muffle her cries. He accepted it and kept his finger active as one of her hands grabbed at her breast while the other reached for his hand as if it’d control the intensity of the orgasm. He didn’t let up, didn’t change or alter his pace. He instead let himself get lost in the visual ecstasy of her orgasm. It bought its own tightness to his groin, feeling the little hot dribble of his own leaking. 

“Why,” she asked in a heavy pant. 

“It’s fun,” he laughed, licking his fingers while he raised his eyebrow at her. In the next second, he crawled over her. His tongue lapping up the sweat on her stomach and her breasts. Her nipples fit perfectly in his mouth and he couldn’t help sucking from her breast. Her fingers pulled at him, begging for his face to meet hers and Roy would comply after he had his fun. As if fingering her wasn’t fun, he was determined to keep it up while he could. Soon, he’d be the one begging for reprieve and she’d pull him closer. Whereas she begged him to keep going, he’d beg her to stop. It was only a matter of minutes unless she wanted the game to last longer. It was all up to Riza. 

There was no resistance as he thrust into her. Her back arched and she started a string of bursts of his name. It wasn’t like it was some girl. Each time she said his name in such a needful, lustful, tone, he felt closer to her. It was the only thing he ever was meant to hear. If he was put to lose any of his senses, sight would be it. Although he’d be lost without her brown eyes, hearing his name from her lips guided him home. 

Riza cried out his name once more as he sat back, pulling her hips roughly to him. His own back arched, leaning back to leverage an angle in her. Her hands now grasped for his legs before gripping the sheets. His fingers dug into her waist, tightening with his own climax nearing. It was always too short. Maybe one day, he’d take her on for hours, letting her really feel how appreciative of her he really was. But today, he bucked into her. 

“Wait,” she begged as she reached out for him. “Wait, wait.” 

Roy stopped as he was requested and tilted his head at her. “What,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. 

Riza wiggled from him and pulled him to the edge of the bed. At first, Roy raised his eyebrow wondering what she was up to, until his legs dropped to the floor and she turned back to him. His lips grew into a wide grin as she mounted him, sitting in his lap and her lips upon his. His neck craned up in worship to her, her hands cupping his face. It was his turn for his arms to wrap around her, pulling her closer. Her breasts pressed against his chest and her hips rolled against his as a ship would on gentle waves. The deep groan was involuntary as her arms slid down his shoulders, gripping his shoulder blades. 

“I fucking love you, Riza,” he said upon her lips, his body growing tight. 

“Roy,” she gasped, her eyes tightly shut. “Roy, I love you too.” 

He bucked up, watching her whole face twitch, scrunching tighter with the increased stimulation. He did it again, deepening an already engulfing position. 

“Roy,” she started to scream with jagged breath as it was caught in her chest. 

Her face dropped to his shoulder as her body curled and he felt her teeth on his shoulder. Roy didn’t stop. Instead, his thrusts into her increased in sharp pumps, feeling to tightly hold him, sucking with a begging nature for him to dive deeper into her. She milked the orgasm from him. His forehead pressed against her body and his hands pulled her tighter, if that was possible, to himself. He would have seized, except his body auto-operated with each gasp of his name. It wasn’t until his abs begged him to stop and his back was saturated with sweat that he stopped. Riza’s hand pounded into his shoulder a few times as her lungs sharply sucked air from the hot humid room. Roy’s heart felt erratic, pounding in his ears but his body felt as if it was slow. Before he could fall back, his wife’s hands grasped his face in her hands and kissed him again, and again, and again. It was divine the way her lips slipped against his and her tongue begged his to come play. Heaven was sitting on his lap, showing him the pathway to heaven. 

He would have stayed where he was if his body had demanded it just a degree more. But Riza slipped from his lap and walked gingerly to the bathroom. His hand lifted itself to wave at her but fell back to the bed. “A towel might be nice,” he called before taking in a deep breath. “I’m not sure how you do it, but fuck!” 

“I didn’t do anything,” she laughed from the bathroom. “You’re the one doing all the work.” 

“Don’t lie to yourself,” Roy argued. “I’ll show you next time when I’m doing all the work.” 

Riza came from the bathroom and tossed him a towel. “So tell me-” She jumped on the bed, dragging herself to the top. “What are you going to do next?” 

Roy wasn’t sure. There were too many options, too many variables. “I think I will finish out my classes and get my degree. I’m going to start looking for internships too. After this last week, I will have a lot of time on my hands.” 

“And no more early mornings.” 

“No more early mornings.” 

Roy crawled up next to his wife and looked up at the ceiling. “No more early mornings,” he yawned. “Unless it’s Saturday and you want to do something.” 

Her hand reached out to hit his chest and Roy flinched from her playfully. “I’m going to get up even earlier now.” 

“You forget the market stays open all day!” 

* * *

It wasn’t easy, Roy wouldn’t lie. At first, he wasn’t sure what to do with his spare time. He thought he’d be self-motivated, put his extra time to good use and graduate from the self class, and move onto internships. However, he spent more time in his boxers watching the news than he did anything else. The better news was that there were three firms in Central, and one that was already interested in taking him on before his degree was completed. The phone calls were also done in his boxers. He found himself spending more time texting Taylor, which came to find out she was doing well and reconnecting with people outside of work. He started to realize that there were other properties to life than donning a uniform and devoting yourself to your country; although Roy regretted none of it. Once a week, Roy, and sometimes Riza went to his Aunt’s house for lunch. Riza only came when it was possible. Although his foster sisters pouted at her absence, Roy thought it was nice to have some time with them. When Riza was there, they liked to playfully gang up on their brother. Overall, Roy was finding himself more alive and aware of an outside life. 

One thing he received more of was pictures and talk from Maes.  _ You’d imagine that he’d have less time to bombard me with photos of his child if he had as much dedication to his job as I did.  _ Roy should have known better with as much time as Maes wasted in Roy’s office. His phone would ding and Roy would open it to see a picture of his goddaughter. “You should spend more time with her,” Maes insisted. And it wasn’t that Roy didn’t want to. He just never thought of himself as a kid person.  _ Am I a child-friendly product?  _ He joked with himself.  **Ding** Another photo. At least when he was in the office he was being paid to be spammed with baby photos. 

“I was kind of wondering when we would want kids,” Riza said out of the blue one day when Roy grumbled about another photo. 

He looked up from his wet, showered, hair, and raised an eyebrow. “We had this talk before,” he muttered lowly. 

“I know,” she sighed, sipping her evening tea. “But we’re married now, don’t we want kids?” 

“Riza, I’m unemployed. Let’s get settled before we do anything brash.” 

She leaned back on the couch and turned down the television. “No, I mean it, Roy. I know we want kids, but when?” 

Roy put down his phone and picked up his beer. “Do you want kids now? Is that what you’re telling me?” 

She shrugged. It was so neutral that it almost made it feel like he was walking into a trap. Why was she bringing this up if she was so indecisive on the matter? 

“We just had a pregnancy scare last year and now you want kids?” He sat down next to her and pulled her feet onto his lap. 

“When,” she emphasized. 

He sighed and reached for his crossword book. “How about this. The day you stop taking your birth control, we will start looking to have kids.” 

“That’s vague.” 

“You’re being vague,” he argued. 

“Why are you so grouchy? Because of a few pics of your best friend’s kid and goddaughter?” 

He frowned and opened his book. 

“I think you secretly want kids and are jealous.” 

He raised an eyebrow at his wife. 

She started to giggle. “I think you’d do the same.” 

“I would not,” he snorted and tapped his pencil on his page. “Three across, an author’s book…” 

“Autobiography,” Riza replied quickly. 

“Too long…” 

“Roy,” she called to him sternly. “Stop avoiding the topic.” 

“It’s not a good time,” he said again. “Now’s not a good time for much of anything.” 

He didn’t look up but heard her sigh loudly. “I think it’s a good time to talk about it.” 

“We’ve barely been married.” 

“Yet, you seem to have wanted this moment your whole life.” 

Roy set his book down. “Let’s wait a year.” Before Riza could say anything he raised his finger. “Let’s get financially stable and let me get a more secure job. Then we can reassess the situation.”

“You can get a better phone than Maes and take better pictures.” 

“That’s impossible.” 

Riza laughed as she foot bumped his book with her toe. 

He looked at her from the side of his eye with a smirk. “I have something better than a diaper filling crying mini-me.” 

“We don’t have a dog either.” Riza took another sip of her tea. “What’s up with that?” 

“That we can have when we get a dog-friendly place.” 

“See, you have all these stipulations,” she called out with a light chuckled. 

For such a serious conversation, Roy was surprised at how easy she made it to talk about. If he could guess, he’d think she was just testing the waters by talking about uneasy topics. She was just seeing how he responded. She was tricky like that. She was wondering where he stood in the world and how it corresponded with hers. 

“What if I came home with a cute little dog tomorrow?” 

“Please don’t.” He wrote something in his book. “Twelve down, arctic animal.” 

“Bear.” 

“Five letters.” 

Riza frowned. Her toes flicked up to tap his book but Roy expertly raised his book just in time. 

He turned his body and looked at her seriously. “Tell me what you want. I promised to give you everything you ever needed and whatever you ever wanted. Just ask me.” 

He watched her chew the corner of her lip, finally silenced at his proposal. Her lips rolled inward and she shrugged. “I don’t know either....” She set her tea down on the coffee table and leaned back into the arm of the couch. “I guess we both don’t know what we want.” 

Roy tossed his book onto the side table and grabbed her foot, giving it a pull towards him. “I know exactly what I want.” He leaned over to kiss her knee. “I want a life with you. I want to provide you with everything you have ever dreamed of. I want us.” He shifted his weight and moved to hover over her, kissing her stomach. “Tell me what you want.” 

She laughed but didn’t say anything. 

He kissed up her sternum, adjusting himself so that he could lean more over her. “Just tell me what you want. Here is the opportunity of a lifetime, Riza. Just tell me what you want.” His face came to hers and he looked softly into her eyes. 

“You,” she whispered. “And it’d always be you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We knew it was going to happen... Roy would always choose Riza. Now he's off to better adventures. We only have 2 more chapters to go. Yup... There is an ending to this fluff fest. I hope that you have enjoyed it as much as I have. 
> 
> Be safe everyone! Until next time! ..... whenever that is at this point, right?


	28. Babysitting 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza agrees to watch Elicia while the Hughes have a day to themselves.

When Riza agreed to watch Elicia, she wasn’t sure if she knew what she was getting herself into. She readily volunteered when Gracia said that her and Maes just wanted to go to dinner and having a child made strains on the relationship at times. Since she and Roy were very close to the Hughes family, it made sense to offer her help. In addition, she had taken classes for school on the development of children. How hard could it be? Even when she was dropped off, the baby was sound asleep.

“Here’s her bag,” Gracia showed Riza with a gentle tone and a steady hand. “There’s the formula, but she hasn’t been liking it lately. I don’t have any breast milk in here for you, so just be patient with her if she’s fussy.” 

Riza nodded, staring at the angel in the car seat on the floor. 

“There’s the spare diapers and a few toys…” Maes pointed at the bag again, talking with a specific tone of a worried parent.

“I think she’s got it, Dear.” 

Maes looked up at Gracia worriedly before turning back to the bag. “And there are my emergency numbers, and four others in case you can’t get a hold of us.” He showed her a laminated tag attached to the baby bag. “And-”

“I’ve got it,” Riza smiled. “Go enjoy your dinner and movie. It’s only a couple hours.”

Gracia thanked her again, for dragging her husband from the apartment. If the baby slept most of the time, it’d be golden. And when she was awake, she wouldn’t make that much noise. 

Riza squatted down to Elicia. She was an angel. She was absolutely gorgeous of a baby, and although Maes always was bragging about her, the pictures he showed really didn’t do her justice. Her face was perfectly round with plump baby cheeks that everyone would have wanted to pinch. She had long lashes which slept with her eyes, gently resting. Her hair was thick and sandy blonde like her mother’s, laying on her head with such peace that Riza wondered if it was a baby hair trait. What she’d give for her hair to look so perfect as Elicia’s. Even the light and little coos of a snore that she emitted were angelic. She stole her heart. Never again would she make fun of Maes for his love for his daughter. On the contrary, she might join him. 

She picked up the heavy and awkward carrier and brought it inside the apartment proper. She put her by the TV, in no rush to take her from her resting apparatus. She remembered to not wake a resting baby from somewhere and she let her be while she worked on a few projects she had going on. She put on some Beethoven because it was rumored, and in all the studying that she had done, that it was good for babies. The famous classical artist was a classical hit for everyone. Softly in the background, it played while Riza worked. She went through notebooks, finding information about late composers that would be worth teaching over the next week or so. She had a book open at her feet, her finger tracing words of her college notes. It wasn’t going to be anything serious of a lesson, but she hoped to make it interesting enough for the kids to be at least mildly interested. Not everyone could love music as she could.

It was a ‘too good to be true’ feeling. As she finished grading the short stack of papers about designated composers from her students, Elicia finally stirred. She made a few mewing sounds, wiggling a bit, before snapping her gums and sighing softly. Riza sat there, eyes stuck on the innocent child that just made her heart stop with the most utter cuteness that she’d ever laid eyes on. She wanted to touch her, lift her, hold her close, rock her, and all otherly motherly instincts. But a sense of fear also lingered as she not only didn’t want to hurt her, but she also didn’t want to wake her. 

_ I’m sure she’d just start crying… Or she’d be happy and not cry at all.  _ Riza leaned over to look at Elicia.  _ I wonder if I need to wake her to feed her, or change her diaper. Is it a scheduled thing?  _ Riza almost laughed when he imagined that Roy would be just as confused as her. She looked up at the clock on the wall. He was due home any minute. “I wonder if he remembers me telling him about Elicia,” she mused. She did tell him while he was hovering over his studies, waving her off so that he could focus. Her fingers reached out to grab the socked little big toe of Elicia. “That’s what he gets for waving me away,” she whispered. 

In the meantime, she made her way into the kitchen to start dinner. A tempting thought made its way into her head about ordering a pizza. She wasn’t in the mood to make anything, and it’d been a while since they had pizza. They’d been really good about eating out in general. Considering that she’d been overwhelmed with papers and school assignments, maybe taking a mental break would be good for her. They could just eat the pizza and hang out, not really think about anything in particular. It’d be nice. Maybe they’d even put a movie on. 

In Riza’s head, she started to play out a scene with Elicia in Roy’s arms as they watched a movie, him feeding her as she cooed happily. It was adorable and Riza was happy to indulge in the little daydream. They could put her on a blanket on her back and play with her, letting the little baby fingers grasp their adult ones with tight grips. She could even see Roy falling asleep with Elicia falling asleep in his arms. He had been tired lately. It was a possibility the rate he was going. 

The internship was wearing him thin with demanding work, testing him. The good news was that the management team had taken a quick liking to him and had made him “less” of an intern and “more” of an actual employee. The big stressor was that he was still learning the ropes and therefore was always feeling like he was catching up on tasks instead of leading with them. He had told her how frustrating it was because he was always in control while he was in the military. His training sessions were precise and detailed. But it was a different type of work and a different skill. He was learning more than he thought he was going to have to. To top off the cake, he was learning to be a civilian, not a military officer. Waking up at four in the morning was a habit that was hard to rid himself of. 

She read off her credit card number to the person on the other side of the phone when she heard the heavy footsteps in the hall then looked at the clock. He was just a few minutes later than normal. She turned to reach into the fridge and grab him a beer. “Thank you,” she said the person over the phone, watching the door handle turn. She hung up the phone to see the man of her life walk through the door with a heavy sigh. 

“Home sweet home,” he breathed. 

“I ordered pizza,” she replied casually, coming to greet him. “I figured it was Friday and we both have been a bit overwhelmed.” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. She could feel the ache in his shoulders, the tightness in his back. He sighed into her hair and groaned happily. “You can just relax for the weekend.” 

Roy smiled weakly as he loosened his tie and kicked off his shoes. “That sounds… what is that?” He stopped as he stared at the baby carrier. 

“I told you we were watching Elicia,” Riza reminded.  _ Yup, he forgot… Or wasn’t listening.  _ “It’s just for a couple hours.” 

He looked back at her dubiously. “They are going to be gone all night,” he huffed quietly. 

“They will not!” 

“How long has she been sleeping?” He leaned over her and brushed her hair with a finger. Riza knew that Roy loved her. Elicia had a special place in his heart and always would. 

Riza stood behind him, admiring the sweet moment he was having with his Goddaughter. “Maybe two hours?” 

“We probably should change her diaper.” He stood up and tilted his head. “There’s no way she can go a couple hours without going to the bathroom.” 

“We can’t wake her,” Riza argued. 

“Don’t we need to feed her?” He turned to face Riza as he chewed on his lip. “She’s going to wake up and be grouchy.” 

“She’s not either. What makes you think that?” 

Roy put his hands on his hips as he looked at her seriously. 

“We will feed her when she wakes up.” Riza frowned. “When did you become the baby master, anyway?”

Roy kicked off his shoes. “I’m only guessing. I actually am expecting you to know.” 

“Well,” she shrugged. “I would say we need to let her sleep.” 

She felt his arms wrap around her and a kiss under her earlobe. “I missed you,” he breathed. 

Riza hugged his arms, leaning back into his embrace. “I thought you’d never get home.” 

Roy sighed as he walked into the bedroom to change. “Good news is that they are liking me more. The bad news is that means I’ve been given more responsibility.” 

Leaning against the doorframe to their bedroom, she watched him slip into some sweats. It was a thought to just tackle him right then and there, but the thought of hearing Elicia wake up and cry while they were having sex was a bit yeilding. His ripped back and shoulders would have to do for now. “You’ve actually gone really far,” she complimented. 

“Well,” he put on a red shirt. “My boss said that I’d make a great manager with my military officer skills.” 

“What does that mean?” 

He shrugged. “I know there are two positions open. I’d do less of the work and more of the coordination of projects. That’s not so bad, right?” 

Riza’s smile grew and she jumped on him in a hug. “Are you going to apply?” 

Roy hugged her back with a quiet laugh. “Yeah, I applied for one. We will see. My manager said he didn’t want to waste valuable skills, whatever that means.” 

Riza pulled back from her hugs and bounced on her heels from excitement. “In just a few months you went from intern to manager.” 

“I have to get the job first, but yeah, we shall see.” He ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it out. “Tomorrow I think I’ll go get a haircut. It’s getting a little long.” 

“I was going to say something,” Riza said as she ran her own fingers through the thick black locks. 

Roy led them from the bedroom taking another look at Elicia. “I’m sure Maes gave you instructions.” 

“He’s worse than Gracia.” Riza held a hand over her laugh. “But looking at her, I can see why. She looks so beautiful.” 

“She looks just like her mom,” Roy whispered. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her hips close to his. “Ours would look just like you.” 

Riza laughed pushing him away. “We’re not going into that discussion again.” 

“Now that I agree and say we should have kids?” 

Riza stopped walking from him and let out a heavy sigh. 

“We will get there,” he assured, reaching across the counter for his beer. “Believe in me.” 

When the doorbell rang for the pizza, Elicia woke up. At first, it wasn’t noticeable. Neither would have even bothered to check because she had been so quiet. There was a quiet cry, as if she was asking for attention. It wasn’t loud, or even demanding, just something to let the world know she was no longer resting.

Her head shot over to the new sound in the apartment. “Roy,” Riza nudged him as he grabbed a piece of pizza. “She’s awake.” Her eyes fluttered open searching and looking around. Even as she woke, Riza’s heart fluttered. She put down her slice and walked over. “Maybe she’s hungry?” 

“Yeah,” Roy muttered with pizza in his mouth. “I’m hungry. I don’t blame her.” 

“Well... “ Riza leaned down to unstrap her from the car seat. “I guess we better feed her then.” 

“How do we do that?” 

“With a bottle.” Riza almost shot him a look over her shoulder, but instead settled for picking Elicia up out of the car seat. “I think she needs to be changed too.” 

Elicia’s face scrunched and she let out a few whines before a soft cry. 

“Look,” Roy mumbled from behind her. “You’re making her cry.” 

“You sound like you know what to do,” Riza snarked. “You can come help.” 

He mumbled something with his mouth full so Riza held the crying baby to her shoulder.

“Will you at least come help me?” When Roy came to her side, Riza nodded to the bag. She bounced Elicia oh her shoulder. “There is a little blanket in there for her. We can change her on that.” 

He laid out the blanket and Riza set the grumpy baby down. “I’d be grouchy too if I soiled myself,” he snickered. 

“Very funny, Love,” she glared. Her fingers undid her outfit. “You can help,” she again called. 

“You seem like you have the hang of things,” Roy deflected again. 

Elicia’s cries increased. 

“Roy,” Riza warned. 

As the two struggled to get to the diaper and take it off as Elicia wiggled with her tears and cries increasing. 

“Maybe she’s hungry,” Roy grumped, lifting his hands as Riza swatted them out of the way. 

“No,” she argued, pulling the diaper from her. “She needs to be changed.” 

Roy gagged and turned the other way. “You’re on your own,” he said with a wave of his hand. 

“Wait!” Riza reached out and grabbed him. “Here.” She rolled the diaper up and gave it to him. “Throw it away at least!” 

“I’m not…” 

“You can go to war and get shot, but you can’t take a diaper to the trash can?” 

Roy stared at the diaper for a few seconds. “You have to choose your battles, Riza.” 

She watched him turn to walk away. “You’re choosing the wrong battle, Mister!” 

“I’m more afraid of a diaper full of that than you.” She heard him by the pizza box. “I don’t even feel like eating anymore.” 

However, even with a clean diaper, Elicia didn’t really stop crying. This perfect angel that Riza had put on a perfect pedestal was having now the worst day of her life. There were several reasons Riza could even relate to being upset at this moment. She didn’t have her own parents, Riza was sure the diaper wasn’t put on like her mom or dad did it, and Riza was sure she was going to make the formula wrong. 

“There are specific instructions,” Roy pointed to the paper, saying as if Riza was clearly exaggerating the task. 

“Then you do it,” she muttered back. 

“Naw,” he laughed. “You look like you have it handled.” 

“You keep saying that… But she’s still crying.” 

“Here,” he said as he reached out his hands. He took Elicia from Riza’s arms and put her against his shoulder. He bounced her up and down gently, hushing her and patting her bottom. She should have gone back to making Elicia’s dinner, but for the moment she had to watch him. Even with all the crying and noise, Roy smiled as he tried to hush her. She’d almost forgotten her task if it wasn’t for his nod to remind her. 

Some formula, warm water, and a dab on her wrist to ensure it wasn’t too warm but body temperature and Riza handed the bottle to Roy. Even as he turned her to cradle her in his arms, Elicia waved about, putting her hands in front of her face to deny the bottle. Riza watched, wincing as Roy continued to struggle, even trying to press the nipple between her lips. The crying only grew, which both of them didn’t think was entirely possible, and Roy quickly handed his goddaughter to Riza. “You try,” he grimaced. 

Riza only frowned and tried the same tactic. “Maybe she’s not hungry,” she sighed. She pressed the bottle to Elicia’s lips again. “Come on,” she begged. “Just a little.” 

“She’s got to be hungry. She’s not tired.” Roy put his hands on his hips. 

“I don’t think she likes me.” 

She heard Roy laugh lightly. 

The cries were nearly too loud, making Riza worry the neighbors were going to hear her now. Tears streamed from her little eyes and both Roy and Riza started to feel desperate. She didn’t need to be burped, she needed to eat. The more they tried, the more frustrated they became. Riza wiped the tears from little Elicia’s eyes before dabbing her lips with the milk.  _ Maybe if she gets a taste of it, she’ll reconsider.  _ For a second, it actually looked like it was going to work. Her lips rolled inward and she quieted for a few seconds. Riza then rested the bottle’s nipple on her lips, patiently waiting but before she could go any further, Elicia erupted into her volcanic fit again. 

“She’s got some lungs on her,” Roy grumped. “Just put some chocolate on it.”

“You can’t give chocolate to a baby,” Riza quickly argued. 

“I was kidding,” he snapped back. “How do we even know if she’s hungry? Maybe you put the diaper on backward.” 

“Are you joking there,” Riza glared. “Because you’re more than welcome to try it yourself, oh Baby Master.” 

“I am not appreciating your sarcasm,” he glared back. 

“My sarcasm?” Riza put the bottle down and tried rocking baby Elicia. “You’re not even trying here!” 

“Bullshit,” Roy shook his finger in front of himself. “I’m trying just as hard as you are.” 

“You tried for five minutes,” she exclaimed. “I’ve been trying everything here. It’s not working!” 

“Maybe we should look it up on our phones.” Roy pulled out his phone and started to look through the internet. All Riza could do was rock her, trying her best to calm her. She lightly bounced her in her arms, walking back and forth across their living room. “It says ….” He frowned. “Maybe swaddle her?”

Riza leaned over to look at his phone. “I’ll try anything at this point.” 

“At this point,” he laughed. “It’s been twenty minutes. Can you imagine an hour or two?” 

“We are not going to find out,” Riza snorted, determined to not only get Elicia to stop crying but with a deep hope that Maes and Gracia would magically show up any minute. 

“Admit it, she probably never cries with Maes. Why do you think he adores her?”

Riza pulled the blanket on the floor closest to her. “That's because Gracia is a God-send who knows more about motherhood more than I will ever know.” 

Roy was about to say something but Riza pulled the phone from his hand and started looking at the instructions. Roy stood over her and Riza wrestled the blankets and Elicia’s raging tantrum. He reached over once to help, but withdrew his hand, and continued to watch. 

“This is literally impossible,” Riza sighed, clearly frustrated. 

“Let me try,” Roy offered patiently. She could tell he was working on being calm, his hands steady, however, the bite of the lip exposed his frustrations, as well as the dip in his brow and the narrow of his eyes. “Come on,” He whispered, his hands making headway as he tightly wrapped the final piece over. “It’s okay.” 

“Not too tight,” Riza warned, her hand reaching out. 

“I got it,” he assured. “I got it.” 

She kept crying as Roy picked her up and rocked her a few times. Without a second lost, Riza came back with the bottle and gave it back to Roy. “Here,” she motioned. 

“Now, I’m going to do everything?” 

“Shut up,” she snapped quietly through the cries. “You have her. Just try!” 

He held the bottle in his hand as he tried to calm Elicia, watching her cheeks glow bright red with frustration. Riza could almost see his pain in Roy’s eyes. There was no doubt he would take all her pain away. That’s how Roy was, after all. As the crying quietened, for the mere moment, Roy pressed the bottle’s bottle’s nipple to her mouth. “Come on, Elicia,” he whispered. “It will make you feel better. Take it from Uncle Roy, food makes everything better.”

Riza rolled her eyes. 

But to her amazement, and in slow motion, Elicia took to the bottle. She cried, moved her head, then took it again. Roy just kept coaxing her, looking up at Riza as if he was hoping and praying the end of the world wasn’t dependent on the baby in his arms. Neither made any sudden movement. They could tell Elicia was still upset. Her nose would scrunch, and her hands flexed and tightened around the bottle. However, both of them agreed silently that putting any food in her stomach would make her feel better on at least one level. At least one of her needs would be calmed. Riza’s stomach tightened as she watched the baby’s body squirm, her mouth opening, and her turning her head as she let out another cry. 

The look they gave each other was one of despair. “Well,” Roy shook the bottle. “We got halfway through.” He bounced her in her arms as he tried to put the bottle to her lips. “What else could it be?” 

“Maybe you should burp her?” Riza shrugged. 

Roy put her to his shoulder, bouncing lightly as he patted her back. 

Riza started laughing as the most humorous thought jumped into her mind. 

“Nothing is funny about this,” he snorted, looking away. 

“It would be if Maes came in right now.” 

Roy gasped dramatically. “He could take her and make her happy.” 

Once again, Elicia’s tears quieted and the two of them felt an internal sigh. But Riza was still unsure of what to do. They both didn’t want her to start up again, which was inevitable at this point. “Don’t stop,” she whispered. 

Roy only glared back. She was sure he was thinking it was her job to do. After all, she volunteered. She’d just argue that Elicia loved her godfather more than her godmother if it was true or not. As Roy turned his back to her, Riza covered her mouth with a laugh. “What,” he groaned. 

“She spit up on your back.” 

“Oh come-” 

“Roy,” Riza quickly hushed him. She grabbed a napkin and wiped it off his collared shirt and off Elicia’s face. “We forgot a towel on your shoulder.” 

Elicia squirmed again, making a clear groan of displeasure. “No, no, Baby Girl,” Roy pleaded. “It’s okay, be happy.” He looked at Riza, almost in fear. “Where the fuck is Maes and Gracia?” 

She could only shrug. There was never a defined time in mind. Maybe Riza had let her sleep too long. Maybe she should have taken her out of the chair and put her on the ground. Was it possible she was just sore from the chair? Maybe it was because she just slept too much. Riza wouldn’t know. She could only admire the sight of her husband rubbing Elicia’s back and bouncing on his heels. It was almost what she had imagined, but she’d take what she could get. 

“Your turn,” he said as he went to pass her off. “Can I eat my pizza now?” 

“No,” she shook her head. “We can’t disturb her more than we have.” 

“Disturb? She’s been holding us hostage with tiny squeals of horror.” 

She squinted her eyes dubiously at Roy, but he was right. 

The miniature moans from his shoulder grew in pitch and Riza bit her fist. Roy pulled her back into a cradle and attempted a second time to give her the bottle. And again, as all the times before, she denied it. The pitch grew with the unhappiness and Roy looked at Riza helplessly. She reached out, taking her turn with Elicia, running her hand through her sandy blonde hair. She sat down on the couch with an exacerbated sigh and rocked a few times before falling back. “You’re just angry at the world,” she whispered. “Mommy and daddy will be back. You don’t have to cry.” 

“Please stop crying,” Roy begged from across the room with a pizza in his mouth. 

“Boop,” Riza said as she lightly pressed her finger to the most beautiful nose she’d ever laid eyes on. “Roy, get me a soft towel from the bag.” Carefully, she wiped her nose, wiping the tears away. 

“At least you look like you know what you’re doing,” he mumbled, still putting pizza in his mouth.

“You did too,” she countered, but Elicia didn’t stop. Maybe it was a game of patience. “Maybe we just have to wait it out?” 

“Then I give up. Maes is getting here and we’re going for a beer.” 

“Wuss.” She poked Elicia’s red nose again. “Uncle Roy is a wuss,” she said in a baby tone. 

“Put her over your shoulder, she seemed to like that.” 

She grabbed a towel, putting it over her shoulder, and mimicked the actions of Roy. She rubbed up and down her back, bouncing her with her hand on her bottom. “I think we are screwed,” she groaned. Maybe they were. 

“Diaper rash?” 

“I didn’t see any.” 

“Do you even know what you’re looking for?”

Riza bit her lip. “No,” she admitted. “Do you?”

Roy took a swig of his beer. “I know that she should eat, be burped, and she poops.” 

“You are so helpful,” Riza glared.

“Hey,” he refuted. “I got her to stop crying! And she puked on me! I have been helpful, thank you very much!” 

“Wait!” She pointed to the bag as she rolled Elicia back into a cradle position. “Grab me one of her toys. Maybe we can distract her.” 

Roy, with pizza crust hanging from his mouth, quickly grabbed a small rattle and handed it to his wife. Riza gently shook it, letting the toy make the rattling sounds, trying to get Elicia’s attention. The baby’s red eyes paid no mind, and instead the volume of the shrieks increased. 

“Dear God.” Roy looked like he was getting ready to pull his own hair out. 

Riza grabbed the bottle, trying again to feed her. “I don’t think she likes me.” 

“I could have told you that.” 

Riza glared at Roy once more. 

He bit his lip and looked over. “Babies like music?” He went to the speakers. 

“I had Beethoven on earlier.” 

Roy put the music back on. “Maybe?” 

It wouldn’t hurt. Anything was an attempt at peace. Riza got up, and paced in the living room, humming the tunes to classical music. She watched as Elicia at first struggled with it, fighting hard to cry even louder. Riza only used the soft towel to wipe her face and nose. 

“Maybe you will be a good mother,” Roy said casually, taking another drink of his beer. 

“What gave you the impression that I wasn’t going to be?” 

“She hates you.” 

Riza wanted to kick him in the shin. 

“Maybe she likes baseball?” Roy collapsed on the couch, turning on the TV. 

But as she kept walking in circles, humming the tunes, Elicia started to stop. Riza wiped her eyes again, wiping her nose, and smiled. “See? Beethoven isn’t that bad, is it?” It was a good thing too. She was about to call Maes and say that she gave in. They’d have all dogs and no kids. 

“It’s the baseball,” Roy grinned. He lifted his leg to avoid the swipe from her foot with a laugh. 

She sat gently next to her husband, holding Elicia close to her and glanced up at the game. Her hand reached for the bottle. “Can you warm this up, please?” 

Roy jumped up to help. After all, she was quiet now, both of them wanted to keep it that way. With a beep of the microwave and a test on his wrist, Roy gave it back to Riza and grimaced at the thought Elicia was going to erupt in a volcanic temper tantrum. He muted his game so that the music was all that was heard. Riza delicately put the nipple to Elicia’s lips. At first, she turned her head from it, but after a few times, she opened her mouth and eagerly began to suckle. The sigh the two let out was loud and exhausted. 

“Don’t move,” she whispered to Roy. 

He raised his hands and turned back to the game. “You didn’t have to tell me twice.” 

What Riza did notice, was how calm the two actually had been. Though they were frustrated, they didn’t erupt in their own cries. Maybe they were going to be good parents. She’d always worried, and she knew Roy worried. It was a big responsibility, and once they didn’t take lightly. But Riza’s chest grew warm as she leaned against Roy. “I think I do want one.” 

“After that?” He nodded towards Elicia. 

She nodded. 

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. “Yeah,” he chuckled. “As long as ours is a better cry-er though.” 

She couldn’t help but jab at him gently. 

The bottle eventually emptied, the tired woes of Elicia began to stir again. She reached for the blanket but Roy grabbed it first, putting it over his shoulder. “I got it,” he whispered, placing Elicia over his shoulder. As he watched the game, he patted her back like it was second nature to him. The light “pat-pat-pat” of his hand on his back went to the beat of the music in the background. What was even more wonderful, was when he pulled her from her, she made the most beautiful mewing sounds. She yawned in his arms and Riza felt her body relax against the counter. As she ate a piece of pizza, she watched his finger run up and down her chest, smiling down at her. 

“Do you think she knows we love her,” Riza asked before taking a bite of her pizza. 

“I hope she does,” Roy answered, cradling her gently, settling in to watch his game. 

“I wonder if they will let us watch her next week.” She grinned mischievously. 

“No,” Roy glared back. “This will not be a common thing.” 

“Oh come on!” 

Roy shook his head. “They can’t pawn off their pooper whenever they want to go to the movies.” 

Riza rolled her eyes. She knew he was joking. He was just being a shithead. “You didn’t even change the diaper.” 

“I didn’t need to. I saw it.” He smirked as he looked back down at Elicia. “I’m sure Maes thinks it was a perfect poop too. Huh, Pooper.” 

They settled on the couch, Roy resting his feet on the coffee table. It was only a matter of minutes before he was out like a light. His head fell bad, a light snore emitting from his throat. Riza pulled the awake Elicia from his hands and held her in her arms. She bopped her nose, making a “pop” sound with her mouth. Then tickling her stomach while making funny sounds. He was actually having some fun with Elicia now reaching up and laughing as she squirmed in Riza’s arms. 

She had to wonder what being a mother would actually be like? Sure, there'll be diapers, crying late nights, feeding times, and all that. But as she looked down at Gracia and Maes’ perfect daughter, she had to wonder what wonderful moments like that one it held. It brought Maes particularly great joy and pride, that was for sure. She knew that both of them loved her enough to rarely want to leave her. Riza chuckled out loud. Surely there were parents out there that looked for all sorts of ways out, going to dinner and a movie without their child. Would she and Roy though? Or would they remain close to their child, with Roy doting of it every second? Riza gave a sideways frown to Elicia. Would her and Roy remain as close as Maes and Gracia after having a child? They would, right? 

Of course, they would. They would still crawl under the blankets, curl up to each other in a lover’s spoon, and sigh in complete contention. Riza looked at Roy. Or he could pull off the dad look and fall asleep on the couch. She had to giggle at that thought. 

A knock at the door woke Roy up, snapping his mouth together. She calmly got up, holding Elicia, as she answered the door. Before she could properly get it open, two arms reached out and grabbed the baby from her. 

“Oh my Princess,” Maes cooed.

Riza watched Gracia giggle. “Thank you,” she smiled. “We had a wonderful time.” 

“Our pleasure,” Roy yawned as he walked up behind Riza. 

“I hope she behaved herself.” 

They all looked at Maes when he scoffed. “She’s always perfect, what are you talking about?” 

“She was great,” Roy lied. “I can see why you love her so much, Maes.” 

Riza turned to look at him, trying to not to make it completely obvious that he had just lied to his best friend. 

“Of course you were,” Maes said to his daughter in a baby voice. “You’re daddy’s little princess.” 

Gracia reached out and patted Riza’s arm. “I really hope she wasn’t too fussy. She’s been so finicky lately that I was worried she’d be more of a problem tonight than it was worth.” 

Riza smiled softly. She couldn’t tell them their daughter cried for a good part of it and may have actually given Roy a gray hair, no matter how calm he was. “She was fine. I’m sometimes fussy when I have to deal with Roy.” 

“Hey!” 

Riza waved him off. “If you ever need an escape again, just let us know.” 

Maes reached out and hugged Riza. “I really appreciate it.” 

Once their friends were gone, she heard Roy sigh. “Thank God that’s over.” He turned to wrap his arms around Riza’s waist from behind. “Now that we’re alone…” 

“Seriously,” Riza laughed loudly as she leaned back into him. “We just watched a screaming baby and you’re now wanting to go have sex?” 

Roy blinked and shrugged. “It’s not like we’re having one. There’s no need to worry about it.” 

She stepped forward from his grasp before turning to face him. She planted her hands on his cheeks and leaned up to kiss him. He smiled in her hands, his cheeks extending into her soft hold. He was so handsome, and surprisingly enough, he was so much calmer than she was with a crying Elicia. The shrill shrieks made them both flinch, but he took it so much better. It could have possibly been her hormones speaking, or maybe it was just how much she loved him, but he was so handsome right then and at that moment. The sway of the hair over his eyes, and his goofy smile, won her over in an instant. She kissed him again. 

“So is that a yes,” he whispered against her lips, his hand tightening on her waist. 

Riza giggled again. “Yeah. It’s like victory sex,” she giggled. 

“Victory sex it is,” he chuckled. 

For a man who was asleep a mere hour ago, he sure had quite a bit of energy when it came to pinning her to the bed. His hands clenched her wrists, pinning them above her head as his lips kissed, and his teeth brushed, along her neck and collarbone. She arched her back, moaning his name, wanting more. He was her addiction. She’d never have enough of him. His grips on her wrist tightened as he pulled himself to her lips, pressing against them roughly as he groaned deeply. Roy couldn’t get enough of her either. The way his lips pressed eagerly to hers, sucking her bottom lip, begged her to receive him. He needed her like he needed his soul. The two of them were hopelessly tied to the other. 

She felt his erection pressed against the inside of her leg, making her pulse. The groan on her neck made her body shiver. “We have to get undressed at some point,” she breathed. Roy let go of her as he sat up, standing on the edge of the bed. He grabbed her thighs, pulling her towards him, towards the end of the bed. His eyes revealed his desire for her, screaming his lust for her taste. Slowly his fingers traced lines from her knees to her groin, his index finger looping into a belt loop. His eyes never left hers. The connection made her skin sensitive for his touch, even if it was on her clothes. She grew wet with the sparks his fingers made against her stomach, the way they found their way under her shirt and down from her bellybutton to the lip of her pants. 

“Roy,” she started her ritual of begging. 

“Riza,” he replied with a dangerous smirk. 

Her jean’s button popped open and her hips lifted as he wrangled them from her, leaving her in her panties, which weren’t going to last long the way he was eyeing her. They rid themselves of their shirts together, a playful grin being passed between them. Riza would have to admit that it did cross her mind to play the cruel joke of telling him she wants a kid midsex, just to see him pause and be completely thrown off, however, she’d also face the consequences of stopping midsex. Worth a good laugh or not, she also wanted to have a good time. It was the start of their weekend, finally alone. She blinked as she felt Roy’s lipe leave light pecks of kisses along the inside of her thigh. Though Roy and her were able to handle a crying Elicia, they wouldn’t have been able to have time together with her awake. She understood why Maes and Gracia needed that time alone. 

“We’re going to watch Elicia more,” she whined as Roy fingered her panties to the side so he could lick up her. 

He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, then shrugged as if it didn’t matter. Instead, he licked up her again, causing Riza to moan louder. His tongue slipped between her folds, tickling her clit. The statement didn’t even bother him. 

“Maes and Gracia- Ah, Roy!” 

He chuckled against her, his tongue doing circles around her ball of nerves. He pulled back from her. “Go on,” he said gently, looking up at her. 

Riza’s head fell back onto the bed. “Nevermind,” she whined. “Just don’t stop.” 

He chuckled before going back to his task. His fingers slipped her panties from her hips but her fingers found herself as she rolled her finger over her clit with a light moan. 

“Oh,” he said lowly. “I can certainly watch this.” 

“You’re not going to watch,” she argued with a laugh. 

Roy squatted down, looking at the prize between her legs. “I’m intrigued,” he snickered. “I mean, you can blindfold me and I can just feel her please yourself. I suppose that’s one way of doing it.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh. It was an interesting idea indeed, but not what she was meaning. “No. You’re going to do what you were doing.” She pulled her hand from herself only to feel him pounce back onto her, his tongue quickly slipping into her. 

Her hand involuntarily slammed repeatedly into the mattress, a moan verberating through the room. 

With the motions of in and out, Roy paired it with a lick and flick of his tongue. Riza’s fingers went white with how tight her fingers had clamped onto the sheets. Despite the baby’s crying and the stress just hours ago, Riza was not hard to arouse. On the contrary, Roy was best at making her forget everything around her except him and his damn tongue! Her hand hit the bed again as she screamed out his name. She could hear him chuckle in his own amusement. He was having the time of his life face in her pussy and his hands holding her legs open. His fingers dug into her thighs, his lips muttering something against her. She knew it was calling to her, encouraging her to let go and come. Instead, she resisted. She leaned forward to grab at his messy hair and pull up, insinuating that he lead his lips northward. 

“Now now,” he laughed, pulling back from her grasp. “You can’t get impatient.” 

“Fuck impatient,” she snorted. 

“I’ll come up and say hi when I’m done here,” he lowered his head and went back to his work. 

Her hands covered her face as she felt it rush over her. A jarring pleasure, surging through her, the orgasm was nothing less of an electric shock in her groin. Her body acted involuntarily as her back arched and her legs fought with his hands to shut, while Roy was firm in his stance to keep open. He didn’t let up either, his tongue danced it’s way through her orgasm as if it was unaffected at all. Though, Riza could certainly imagine his own arousal being impatient. Her hands reached down again as she grew sensitive to the touch, and pulled him up to her. 

Roy wiped his face with the sheet and leaned over her. His lips easily reached hers as they kissed, begging for the attention they desired through the little connection the kiss provided. They wanted their hands all over, they wanted the shivers of excitement, the moans, the breathless gasps as they watched the other come undone. It went without saying that his lips pressed urgency against her, begging for that attention. However, once she pressed against him, receiving him, he stood up and pulled her closer to the edge of the bed. His hands held her wide against her as he looked down at her. 

Riza loved seeing him goggle at her. He reached down to rub his dick up and down her, sliding against her, before dipping his head into her. Every time it felt like a wave of pleasure as he entered her. Her hands grabbed her breasts, giving them a tight squeeze as Roy found his rhythm, starting out slowly as he rocked back and forth. The angle especially was euphoric and Riza found herself unable to even keep her eyes open. Her finger and thumb pinched her nipples, hearing Roy groan as he watched her do so. It was more than needed to know he was enjoying himself; the more pleasure the deeper the sound. She reached up, grabbing his hands and pulled him forward, putting his own hands on her breasts. Another deep groan and he squeezed her roughly. 

The pace picked up and she noticed so did his grin. She opened an eye to see him just enjoying the view as his thrusts became more forceful. It was driving her to the edge faster than she expected. But with each one, Riza found herself crying out in pleasure. Her hands gripped his on her breasts and her hips rotated up to receive him deeper. The damn man knew he was doing right because he kept that confident grin on his face and didn’t let up the pace he was keeping. 

There was no holding it back. Before she could tell him to stop or slow down, Riza felt herself fall apart. She came so hard that she knew she screamed, but she barely heard herself. With her back arched, her hand repeatedly hit the mattress. Spark of white fireworks clashed behind her eyelids of tightly sewn shut eyes. She knew Roy followed closely behind because he dug himself deep within her before choking out her name. She could feel him fill her, pulsing within because she was so tight around him. All throughout his climax, her orgasm shocked and rocked her. The intensity was overwhelming! Her body seized, tightening and spasmed as she rode it out, only to have a relaxing sigh as her body descended from the heavenly release. She couldn’t move, only heaved in heavy breaths as she looked straight at the ceiling. 

Roy fell onto the bed next to her, chuckling. “My calves…” 

“Holy fuck, Roy.” 

He turned his head to grin at her. “You’re welcome.” 

She reached out to slap his chest, but he blocked it with his arm. 

He turned his head to look at her. “You’re the best thing that could have happened to me.” 

Riza leaned forward, kissing him softly on the lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to have Elicia somewhere in here! Plus.... My husband and I were joking about how Roy and Elicia would NOT be good friends at first and Maes would be like "SHES PERFECT YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!" HAHA Roy would just hold her out and be like, nope. It was funny in our heads. Anyway, we needed a little comic relief. I hope you all enjoyed some Elica Royai.


	29. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the adventure. He has everything he needs to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Rando for helping me on this monster of a project. You are an incredible friend and I can't wait to write more adventures with you. 
> 
> I also need to give a big shoutout to Fullmetalscully. She was the one that inspired me to write this. Send her thanks when you get a chance.

It was a perfect Saturday if Roy could say so himself. His main responsibility for the day was laundry, which was an easy and mindless task, and he accepted it without argument. It was just too good, and Roy relished the feeling of simplicity. He enjoyed the shower with her that morning, took in the smell of her freshly washed hair, or the taste of her tea on her lips. He laughed when she threw a folded pair of socks at him right before he tackled her playfully onto the bed. He vowed never to forget how her fingers felt as they combed his hair, or to remember to kiss her wrist where her pulse beat most often. Roy was even sure to pull her into an impromptu dance for thirty seconds of a song on the radio. They cooked a roast together, cuddling in the kitchen as they made mashed potatoes. He held his wife from behind, kissing the crook of her neck as she sprinkled the asparagus with seasoning. They fixed a bag of extra buttered popcorn, and settled in under a throw blanket for a movie. Maybe it was his hormones talking, the sweet oxytocin that rushed through him like wild horses on the prairies, but he was surely going to take the good days when he could. 

Work had been challenging. Though he had officially obtained a manager’s position over a team, it was something new to him. Not new as in a new experience as Roy had that kind of background. He’d never worked in a firm where he wasn’t all too familiar with the work type. He was sure that he was promoted so easily because of his military experience and his skills as an officer, but he felt a bit overwhelmed with the new procedures he had to follow. If he was going to have a nice day with his wife, free of all that is stress, he was going to take it for all that it was worth. He would bask in her presence, her aurora of love, for as long as he could. 

“I’m excited for tomorrow,” she whispered. “I think it will really be fun.” 

Roy grinned. “I think so too.” His arms tightened around her as he buried his nose in her neck and took a deep breath in. 

Riza shook her head with a laugh. “Quit sniffing me!” 

“But you’re my flower,” he pouted back. 

He watched as she rolled her eyes. “You’re such a romantic.” 

“I’m your romantic,” he chuckled. “Do you know that I would do anything for you?” 

She hummed in thought as she turned around leaned back into his chest, pulling the blanket closer around their legs. He could tell she was trying to think of something witty, maybe a request for him to do something just to be funny, but she didn’t. She just hummed. Maybe it was a sigh. “I love you,” she breathed. 

When Roy really thought about it, they both loved their jobs, both loved where they lived, and they loved each other. It was starting to feel more like a dream and less like reality. All that was left was to start a family. They’d talk about that again soon, and Roy would relent. He already knew he would. He had failed to give her everything she wanted, and the next time she brought it up, he’d pick her up and kiss her as if there was no other better idea in the universe. He would kiss as she was the future mother to his children. Then he’d take her to bed, throw her birth control out of the room, and have her as if he’d been doing her wrong the whole time. 

“I think I’m ready for bed,” she yawned, breaking his thoughts. 

Roy opened his arms for her to crawl out of. He watched her stand up, roll the blanket up and toss it onto the couch. As he stood, he watched her playfully smirk back as him. There was no other way to describe it. He was so in  _ love  _ with her. Never would he ever give crap to Maes about loving his wife too much. Roy swore to himself it’d now be a contest of who’s wife is more perfect. Now that he was thinking of it, his children would be too. 

“What would you name your son,” he asked as he walked behind her through the doorway to their bedroom.” 

Riza shrugged, pulling her shirt over her head. “Roy Jr.” 

It gave him a great laugh. “I’m serious! Would you name it after your dad? Berthold?” 

“No!” She quickly objected as she scavenged for her PJs. “Have you thought about it?” 

Roy took his sweat pants off, tossing them towards the hamper but missing. “I’ve given it some thought, but not really serious. Maybe we could name our daughter Olivier.” 

Riza raised her eyebrow as she slipped into her PJ pants. 

“I knew an Olivier in the military. She was pretty badass.” 

“How about Emma?” 

“Elizabeth.” 

“Ally.” 

Roy jumped on the bed, reaching out to pull Riza to him. “You know the name doesn’t really matter right?” 

“Our boy could be named Daniel.” 

“Daniel Mustang?” Roy started to laugh. 

She pouted. “You’re right. Do you have a better idea?” 

“Ford?” 

Riza glared at him.

Roy let her go, watching her scramble to her side of the bed. He stayed where he was, hands on his stomach as he looked up at the ceiling. “Maybe Rueben… Reuben Mustang.” 

Riza laughed loudly as she wiggled into the blankets. “After the sandwich? That’s a great pun though. I want a Rueben. Do you mean the sandwich or a child?” 

Roy reached up to softly give her a swipe but she pulled out of reach with a giggle. “Wyatt? Wyatt Mustang?” 

Riza fluffed her pillow. “Where did this all come from?” 

“Maybe I will name it after Maes. I wonder if that will just be a home run to his ego.” Roy rolled over to slide to his side of the bed. “I could tell him the next child has to be named after me.” 

“I thought you didn’t want kids right now?”

Roy settled into his blankets and reached over to pull her against him. “Just thinking,” he yawned. 

She placed her head on her designated spot on his chest and sighed contently. “James…” 

“Too traditional,” he argued quietly. 

“We’re going to get a divorce over baby names,” she whispered. 

It really didn’t matter. He’d probably just agree to whatever she had to say anyway. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, just more like he’d just be happy for a healthy baby. With a final sigh, he closed his eyes and listened to the world around him settle into sleep. 

* * *

“Are you sure that your dad is okay with this,” Roy asked for the third time. “Do I need a permission slip here?”

“I promise he knows. He doesn’t give a shit anyway.” 

Roy eyed the minor getting in his car. 

“No, seriously. I told him I was going out with a friend. You’re a friend.” She put her seatbelt one. “I wasn’t lying.” She then waved a paper. “And I got him to sign the authorization slips. He knows what I’m doing.” 

It didn’t mean Roy wasn’t cautious. 

Riza turned to the back seat. “How have you been doing Taylor?” 

The young teen grinned ear to ear. “I’ve been really good lately! I’ve joined a chess club.” 

“Chess?” Roy looked at her from the rearview mirror and pulled off into the street. “Never took you for the chess type.” 

“It’s an after school club. It keeps me from being home on Wednesdays.” She giggled innocently. “I think I’m going to try for softball this year too. I tried running track but I thought it was boring.” 

“It is boring,” Riza quickly agreed. 

“Are you just trying to find reasons to escape being home?” Roy turned left. 

“Yeah,” she said, fiddling her hands in her lap. 

“Is everything okay,” he asked slowly. 

“Yeah,” she answered back. “I just don’t want to be there.” 

Riza turned in her seat again. “Are you okay there?” 

The teen shrugged. “Parents just suck.” 

It made Riza laugh and Roy grinned. “I can 100% agree with you,” Riza answered. “My dad was kind of a dick.” 

It was nice to just see Riza and Taylor talk back and forth. Roy stuck to driving, listening to the two trade stories. It seemed that Taylor was doing well in school and wanted to know how everyone and Chris were without her. She wanted to know how the wedding was, being upset that she couldn’t go. She was happy that he was out of the military, saying that the “fuck-tards” basically got her one and only, favorite brother hurt. Roy wasn’t going to argue anything with her. He only smiled at her care for him and let her rant on about a boy in school. It was just good to hear her talk. He’d missed her. 

The field was already bustling with players when they arrived. Taylor was eager to get out of the car, putting on her baseball cap. She put her hands in her pockets, looking up at Riza nervously. Riza just smiled back and followed Roy. Riza had been there before, but not Taylor. As Roy walked around the corner of the building, he was just short of tackled by another man. 

“Roy!” 

“Oh!” Roy started laughing. “You’re looking good, Jean.” 

Jean stood up, putting his cigarette back in his mouth. “Fuck yes, I am. Where’s Maes?” 

“They couldn’t find a babysitter and Gracia was insistent on going if he went.” Riza giggled. 

“They never go anywhere without the other,” Jean snorted a laugh and ran his hand through his hair, ruffing the front up more. “Hey,” he said as something caught his eye. 

From the building, a tall lady with long curly brown hair emerged. She wasn’t like other girls he had brought. She had a hair-tie in her mouth while she pulled back her curly brown hair with her hands. She smiled brightly when seeing them, grabbing the hair-tie and pulling her hair back. Roy was quick to notice that she had on a sweatshirt, and some loose fit jeans. She looked like she was ready to play with even her sneakers being older. Her brown eyes spark a competitive drive and yet… Roy could see passion there too. She smiled widely, putting on her hat as she stood next to Jean. He put his arm around her waist, smiling affectionately towards her. It was different this time. Jean had many girls, always looking to find one that could really love him. Maybe she was the one. He’d never smiled like that to any other woman. 

“This is Rebecca. Rebecca, this is Roy, his wife Riza.”

“He talks about you all the time,” she said enthusiastically. “It’s finally great to meet you!” 

Roy reached his hand out to Jean’s new girlfriend. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He then turned to his other side. “This is Taylor. She was my foster sister for some time.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Taylor greeted politely. Roy tried his best not to snort a laugh. He didn’t think she’d be so cordial, half expecting her to say, “yo.”

Jean reached out to shake Taylor’s hand. “And I have heard a lot about you.” He grinned. “And everything I’ve heard makes me convinced that with you on our team we will win.” 

Taylor grinned, wide and bright with eye squinting as she took his hand. “Let’s kick some ass.” 

“First,” Roy coughed to interrupt them. “Let’s get set up and then we can get our paintball on, okay?” 

Jean jumped up with a fist in the air. “Paintball!” 

It wasn’t their first time playing, but it was for Taylor. Roy was doing his job as the older brother to check out her protection equipment and make sure she knew how everything worked. It wasn’t until Jean wrapped his arm around Roy’s neck and pulled him away from that he realized that it was going to be okay. “She’s going to be fine,” Jean chuckled. “We need some teen angst, don’t smother it out of her.” 

Teen angst. Roy laughed in his head. That was an understatement for Taylor.

“Listen,” he explained to Taylor, who was more interested in the field behind him than Roy himself. “It’s a game of capture the flag or the last one standing. If you get shot, you’re out of the game.” 

She turned to look at Jean who had his arm wrapped around Rebecca, his hand delicately touching her hip, and a cigarette hanging from his lips. 

“Taylor,” he said again. “I’m serious. Pay attention. And don’t lift your mask for any reason unless you’re in a barrier. Actually, just don't do it.” 

“Okay okay,” she waved him off. 

“Don’t shoot anyone within six feet,” the referee started to talk. “No aiming of the face or groins. We want a fair and fun game here.” He opened the gate. 

Roy watched as Taylor ran into the field with a fury of giggles. He hadn’t ever really had time like this with her. It’d always been going to the movies, or something mild and brotherly. This was fun and new. Yet, his big brother instinct urged him to watch out for her. She was going to get a good welt from the first hit. They bought five games too. 

“She’s going to be fine,” Riza said, bumping his shoulder with her own. Of course, she’d know what he was fretting about. “Let her play.” 

He nodded watching Riza walk back to find a hiding spot for the flag. She was gorgeous with her ponytail through her ball cap swaying side to side as she walked. The way she walked from him made his body shiver and he began to develop a plan to kiss all her welts and bruises better that night while they let the warm water of a shower clean the dirt of the field from them. 

“Stop looking at her ass,’ Jean snickered as he walked by him. 

Roy turned to shove his friend. “You stop looking at her ass.” 

“I’m looking at her ass,” he replied as he pointed to his new girlfriend, Rebecca. She giggled in response to Jean’s antics and the two of them walked in another direction. 

With five on five, Roy didn’t expect the game to last very long. Taylor was the first to get a guy as she crept closer. Roy heard her holler a victory call. For part of the time, Roy hugged close to Taylor too. Usually, he preferred to jump back and forth with Riza, the two of them covering each other. However, he chose to cover Taylor in this instance. At some point, he hears Jean yelling, dramatically crying out with Rebecca telling Jean to get over it. He looked that way to see Rebecca walk off the field. Before he knew it, Taylor had moved behind him. He took a few steps into an open part to sneak forward when two jumped up and fired at him. Two paintballs hit him square in the chest. He grumped, but as he turned, a sharp snap of pain erupted in his ass. He jumped and looked behind him to see Taylor glaring at him. 

“No friendly fire,” he yelled at her. “I’m already out!” 

“You’re in the way!” She aimed her gun at him again, firing another round for kicks. 

“Ow! That fucking hurts!”

Jean on the other side erupted into laughter. Roy passed him, hiding behind a tree, as he walked off the field. “You got shot in the ass,” Jean cried in his laughs. “You got…” 

“Shut up,” Roy growled, exciting the field. He hoped Taylor got shot soon so he could give her a hard time next. 

“Do you come here often,” Rebecca joked as he sat next to her at a picnic table. 

“Not as much as I’d like to,” Roy chuckled in response. “How long have you two been dating?” 

Rebecca rolled a stray of her dark hair behind her ear. “Just two weeks,” she answered. “He’s really sweet.” 

“Jean is really sweet,” he agreed. Jean was, but Roy also knew he could also be a pain in the ass at times. He watched as Rebecca sat back and crossed her legs. She had a gentle face, but there was no doubt of the competitiveness that lurked behind her brown eyes. “I think he needs someone just to kick him in the ass.” 

“I’ve noticed,” she snickered. “He’s pretty childish. But I can see that he’s quite the romantic.” 

“Oh?” 

Rebecca nodded as she leaned forward onto the table. “He’s brought me flowers twice. When I told him the last flowers hadn’t died yet, he insisted that I needed fresh flowers every week.” 

Roy raised his eyebrow. 

“He’s gentle too,” she added. “I’ve held hands with others before, but his just feels… right.” She turned to look at Roy in the eyes. “You know that feeling? When the hands fit perfectly?” 

Roy knew exactly what she was talking about. 

“And I’m not much for jumping the gun on relationships, but I’m going to give him one hell of a shot.” 

“I think he’s a good guy, you’ll like him.” Roy watched as two of the other players came out their side. He waved at them before seeing Jean walk their way. “So, Taylor and Riza are left, huh?” 

Jean glanced over towards the other team. “Well, it’s three on two now. Taylor is sneaky for her attitude. Her and Riza might have a fair-” 

“Fuck!” 

All three looked into the arena. 

“That’ fucking hurt!” 

“It’s one on three,” Roy corrected his friend. 

Taylor limped on her way towards the gate. “You never told me it was going to hurt!” She glared at Roy. 

He couldn’t help but laugh. “You didn’t think me jumping up and down when you shot me indicated that it was painful?” 

She just continued to glare and rub her thigh. “I have no idea where Riza is.” 

Roy looked over to see another player exit on their side. 

“You got one hell of a girl,” he called out. “I never saw her!” 

Roy laughed and nodded.  _ But the moment you do see her, she gets ya, even in the heart.  _

“You have got to be kidding me,” another enemy quickly followed. “Do you know where she was hiding?”

“She was hiding?” 

Roy looked back to Jean. “We may have a chance.” 

“Your wife is so fucking awesome,” he replied. 

“Are we playing again?” Roy turned to look at Taylor, who was still rubbing her leg. “I need revenge,” she explained. 

Roy looked over to the table a bit of a way from them. “Are you guys in for another five on five?” 

“Yeah,” one quickly replied. “But we have two more showing up.” 

Roy laughed. “We’ll play six on six if your buddy doesn’t mind kicking your butt.” 

The guy laughed loudly. “I will see what’s going on.” 

“You have got to be kidding me,” a yell erupted. 

“Looks like Riza got him,” Jean nudged Roy who was grinning ear to ear. 

“We should be playing for beer,” Jean joked with the other group. 

“We’ll put up 500 cenz for the winner next round,” one of them offered.

They laughed between themselves as Riza and the other guy opened the gates. 

“So,” Roy asked, nodding at her. 

“Too easy,” she snickered. 

“I want to be like that,” Taylor admired from her spot. “Can you show me how not to get shot?” She pointed to her leg. “It sucks getting shot.” 

“We were trying to show you,” Rebecca giggled. 

* * *

Roy really didn’t want to drop Taylor back at home. It nerved him enough that she was staying with her father. But she insisted she was okay, that his tantrums were to himself as of late. “You’ll call me, right?” 

Taylor nodded and jumped out of the car. “Let's go again soon.” 

“Get good grades and we can go as much as you want.” Roy grinned, looking back towards her. 

“Fair deal.” She shut the door and waved at them. “Bye!” 

He watched her make sure she got inside before pulling off the curb. It was really good to see her so well. He didn’t feel so much like killing her father to see her smile like that. Sadly, he knew it was only a matter of time before she either opted out of the home or was placed into foster care again. Situations like that never bettered overnight. 

“She’s going to be okay,” Riza said softly, putting her warm hand on his thigh. 

“I know,” he whispered back. “I never thought I’d like her enough to care, but I do.” 

She didn’t say anything in return, and she didn’t have to. They just watched the buildings go by as they drove home. He just needed her there and she was. She always was going to be. He thought back to seeing her lay naked on the bed, where he could kiss the two welts that she earned on the playing field. He’d kiss up her ribs, tickle her back with light kisses. He had to chuckle to himself a little. Maybe there would be one day that he’d not think of her naked on the bed in front of him, and he hoped he never forgot it, but today he’d entertain the idea of feeling her soft skin under his fingers. His stomach growled and he tilted his head towards her. “What’s for dinner?” 

Riza chuckled, patting his thigh. “It’s your turn to make dinner.” 

He huffed as he remembered he said he’d make something. “Hamburgers?” 

“Sure, Honey.” 

“You,” he added with a mischievous grin. 

“Sure,” she giggled back, smiling with a raised eyebrow. “But I taste better without condiments.” 

“Says you,” he argued. “I don’t think you’ve ever had Riza with whipped topping.” 

Riza burst into laughter. “I will tolerate that, I suppose, but whipped topping is not a condiment.” 

Roy snorted a laugh and looked out his window. “No, maybe not, but it compliments you, that’s for sure.” Roy couldn’t see his wife blushing, but he was sure she was. Instead, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the tune on the radio. He looked over to see the general store and pulled into the parking lot. 

“What are you doing,” Riza asked, tilting her head curiously. 

“Grabbing something. Stay in the car, I’ll be right back.” He parked his car, jumping out of it, and running inside. He knew they needed bread, so he darted to aisle three and grabbed a loaf. Walking up the front, he noticed her favorite candy bar, one loaded with peanuts, so he grabbed it. Lastly, he stopped to the side where several bouquets of flowers sat in water. He browsed through them, wondering which looked best before settling on one with yellow and orange daisies, small lily type flowers, and three yellow roses. He grabbed it and ran to the checkout station. Jean was right. The love of their lives do deserve flowers. They may be having hamburgers for dinner, but she was going to have flowers on the counter. 

As he walked out to the car, he couldn’t tell if Riza was more surprised or confused as her brown eyes widened and her head tilted to the left. He opened the door with a chuckle and handed her the bouquet. “Here you are. I don’t think I get you flowers enough.” 

“What are they for?” She took them carefully, smelling them as she admired the joyful colors. 

“Because I love you,” he answered, putting the car into drive. “There’s a candy bar in there too. It’s tradition to get chocolates with flowers right?” 

At least she laughed because she rolled her eyes too. He pulled out of the parking lot, driving back towards their apartment. Her chest grew warm as she continued to look at the flowers, talking about what vase she was going to put them in, even wondering if they had one in the apartment. He didn’t care. Roy lived for the smile that was on her face, for the sweet hum of satisfaction that she made when her shoulders relaxed and her face softened. He lived for the way she curled a stray hair behind her ear, the tilt of her head as she smiled affectionately at him. He felt like dying every time her lips pressed against his. 

“I’m really happy we took Taylor,” she interrupted his thoughts. “I think it was good for the both of you.” 

He smiled, looking at her from the side of his eye. 

“I think you will be a good dad.” 

Roy chuckled. “If you say so, Dear.” 

* * *

His desk was sparsely decorated, compared to his military desk at the Central Headquarters. He had a picture of him and Riza, a paperweight of the Amestrian Dragon, and his screensaver was of the farmlands he and Riza grew up in. It was little things, here and there, that gave it his own personality. He didn’t have his own office yet. Four of them had their own cubicle on the same section of the floor. The room was small, and Roy mostly worked from his computer. Every so often he was blessed with the chance to go to the drawing floor and to supervise there. It was almost dulling that he wasn’t drawing so much as he was managing, but it was a great compliment to be offered a manager-like position so fast. Roy wouldn’t dare to complain. 

Roy got along with just about everyone too. He had one employee that he really enjoyed named Heyman’s Breda. He was a hard worker, and he was always looking ahead two steps in the plans. The two had been working very closely since Roy took the lower manager job. In fact, they made quite the team. Heymans seemed to guide him into the manager position, not only showing him the ropes but assuring him what his subordinates needed. As a result, upper management continued to watch and praise him, though Roy knew the praise should be going to the employees under his watch.

He had just taken a pen from his drawer when he heard heavy steps up to his cubicle. Roy looked up to see his boss, a tall intimidating man, loom over his cubicle wall. He was a large man, tall and wide. He was complete with suspenders and a potbelly to accompany his boisterous voice. “Mustang,” he greeted with a toothy grin. “I have a new employee for you!” 

Roy stood up, looking next to his boss to see a young man almost as tall as Roy was. He had long golden hair, pulled back, with stray locks to border his face. The young man looked like he was fresh out of highschool with a babyface free of facial hair. He didn’t look more than 20, and Roy would have guessed he was no older than 22. It became a question of how he got into a program like this at such a young age. He was confident in his stance and was bold in the way he held himself. Roy knew he was capable of great things, seemingly to challenge Roy at the tasks he could give him. There was a spark in the kid’s eyes and Roy stepped up to the task his boss was giving him. 

“This is Edward Elric. He’s going to be an upper-level intern under your department.” His boss patted Ed’s shoulder a few times. “I think you and him will get along quite well.” 

Both of them watched the man leave, before looking at each other over again. Edward grinned at him, shifting his weight to the side. “What did you go to school for,” Roy asked casually, waving his hand over his shoulder. 

“I like working on the drawing of the building more so than the actual floor plans,” Ed explained. 

They entered another room where there were a few open-ended desks. He led him to one near a window and pulled out a chair. “Have you worked with CAD?” 

“I have,” Ed answered easily. 

“We work mostly with it here.” Roy pointed to his computer. “Let’s get you set up here. I’m sure HR hasn’t got you completely set up.” 

Ed sat down looking over at another employee who was looking towards them. 

“Kain,” the man introduced, sticking his hand out. 

“Ed,” Edward answered, shaking his hand.

Roy grinned at the two’s interactions. It was exactly what he wanted to see. “Kain here specializes in CAD. He’s going to be working with you.” 

Kain and Ed looked alike in their younger appearance. He was shorter, a bit shorter than Edward, with a wide grin. In fact, Roy couldn’t recall a moment that the young man wasn’t smiling. He had spiky black hair and was always wearing a collared shirt to look professional. Honestly, he was one of Roy’s reliable men. 

“I hope I get to work with you more,” Kain added. “I love CAD.” 

“You’re the only one,” Ed joked with a smirk. “I’m far more into paper drawings and models than an online program.” 

“That’s pretty cool,” Kain grinned ear to ear. “Old school.” 

“Yeah,” Ed nodded, leaning back in his chair. 

“We can certainly see about using that talent,” Roy nodded also. “We mostly do structural drawings in this office. I’m sure you will like it. I will look into how we can incorporate that skill into our daily routine.” 

Ed nodded, turning on the computer. 

“Go ahead and log in.” Roy pointed to the computer. “Just use guest and the password is 'password' with a capital p.” 

“That’s creative,” Ed snorted a laugh. 

“We will get you one after lunch. Now, the email is in the upper corner.” 

It wasn’t how Roy was planning on spending his morning, getting an intern set up with an email. Granted, it wasn’t like he had much to do anyway. He was hoping to sneak out for lunch with Riza if he signed off on the new design of a housing project. He hadn’t even seen the whole spectrum of the drafts and was already asked to sign off on then so they would be passed off to the next level of modeling. He should have been in the drafting rooms seeing what he could do and looking over everything, but instead, he’d have to introduce the new guy to the systems. It’d be easy to just have Kain, or one of the other men show him around, but Roy liked to be part of it. Edward was under his “command” now and he wanted that connection with him. 

“We’re going to use the guest account there,” Roy pointed on the screen. 

“Password is 'password?'” 

“He learns quick,” Kain laughed. 

“When we get your own accounts, it will help us monitor progress and tasks. Right now, in guest, we can’t save records of your work.” Roy explained, leaning against the desk. 

“So if I want to do anything stupid, use the guest account.” 

“He is learning quick.” Kain grinned ear to ear while pointing his fingers like a gun to Edward. 

“You can use that learning skill to click the learning tab here.” Roy pointed at the screen again. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the program, but let’s run through this system so that I can sign off and say you did it.” 

“Everything is going to be on a computer,” Edward groaned, his shoulders sagging. 

“We can see about getting you into the drafting room later this month.” 

“They are busy with some project,” a man said as he came through the door. “My name is Heymans, who are you?” 

“Edward,” Edward raised his eyebrow. 

“Thank God,” Roy groaned. “You can run through this with him. 

Heymans was a reliable source of intelligence and skill if Roy had ever seen in an employee. He was dedicated and strong-willed which he loved about the man. Being heavier set with bright red-orange hair, Roy considered him a tank. “I already have enough to do,” he shook his head. “I actually have been looking for you.” 

Roy wanted to rub his forehead but had to put on a brave face. “What?” 

Heymans thumbed towards the door. “It’s about the Bradley investment Co.” 

That was vague. “Kain, help Edward out while I go fulfill this need for me.” 

“You got it, Boss.” 

It was a push and pull game that he’d play throughout the day. He already felt like he wasn’t going to get anything done. 

* * *

Much to Roy’s dismay, Riza was too busy on her side to meet him for lunch. Apparently, she was running detention duty. He cursed the little shits that kept her from him. He leaned back in his chair, staring at his screen. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have things to do. Motivation escaped him and he looked back at his desk with a loud heavy sigh. He wanted more than anything to be at home, curled up in bed with his wife, snuggling close to her in their heavy comforter. Roy pulled at the tie around his neck and looked out the door. It would give him time however to get to know the latest member of his team. Pushing himself off his knees, he stood up and stretched. His lower back popped in a few places and he yawned. 

“One of those days,” his fellow manager chuckled. 

“I need a nap,” Roy answered as he grabbed a few papers off his desk and took a few strides to the door. 

“There’s a new pot of coffee in the break room.” 

He waved over his shoulder as he turned out the door. 

He walked into the office space to see Ed on his computer, chin in hand, as he clicked away at the screen. The young man looked entirely too bored. There were certainly better things Edward could be doing with his time than a computer simulation. The last thing he wanted was for his new employee to start out hating his job. Roy’s shoulders slumped and he bit the corner of his lip. He did say that he liked doing renderings more than working with CAD, and by the look of his enthusiasm, Roy determined it to be true. As the youngest employee under him, Roy felt responsible for his work attitude on some level. Day one and Ed was already unmotivated. 

“Edward,” Roy called from the doorway. He walked in, stopping at the young man’s desk. Ed looked up at him, raising an eyebrow and sitting back in his chair looking annoyed. “I’m going to lunch, why don't you come with me.” 

He almost looked as if he was going to turn him down the way he looked up at Roy, respective of an alternative motive. “Yeah, sure.” Ed stood, grabbing his jacket from off his chair. 

Roy turned on his toe and walked him down the hall to the elevator. “So, Edward, you like doing renderings of the projects,” Roy inquired casually. 

“You can just call me Ed,” the young man sighed. “And I’m an artist. I wasn’t hired here because of my architectural prowess.” 

That was interesting. “Why did you apply here then?” 

Ed chuckled as the elevator binged on their floor. “It makes good money,” he answered simply. “It looks incredibly good on my resume, and I get to do what I like.” 

Roy nodded, leading him onto the elevator and pressing the 3rd-floor button where the cafeteria was. He looked over, noticing a shimmer of gold on Ed’s finger. “You’re married?” 

Ed tilted his head, before looking at his hand and grinning. “Yeah. Just last year.” 

“That’s great,” Roy nudged his shoulder. 

“We had our first child already. Kids are great!” Ed’s mood had changed in the blink of an eye. Roy found what Ed was working towards, when he wanted in life. He would not have considered it in the least, but he’d take what would help Ed be happy any day. 

“First child, huh?” 

“Well,” Ed chuckled, scratching behind his head. “We jumped the gun a little early, but we love the tyke anyway.” 

Roy snickered as the doors to the third floor opened. “We’re thinking about starting a family soon,” he explained. “I’m growing more and more fond of the idea of a mini part of my wife running around.” 

The young man put his hands in his pockets and leaned back, chest out, in pride. “I can’t say I regret the decision. I’m very lucky to have a great wife and child like him.” They made their way to the line, men and women loitering about the cafeteria’s tables. “I’ve known her my whole life,” he continued. “So it only felt natural to have her by my side.” 

“I can relate to that,” Roy said quietly. “What does your wife do?”

Edward picked up a tray. “She is a mechanical engineer of sorts,” he chuckled. “She’s got the fancy job in this relationship, I’m just the artist husband who wants to stay home with the kids and teach them how to paint with watercolors.” 

Roy laughed loudly. He wondered what he’d be to his children. “So, this isn’t a permanent position for you?” Roy raised his eyebrow as he looked over at Ed. 

The blonde man grabbed a sandwich. “I’m not sure. I know what I like, and I’m young enough. I didn’t get here because I am a genius at CAD. I wanted to be here so that I can get paid doing what I love. If I don’t like it here, I can always go somewhere else.” 

_ That’s brutally honest.  _ Somehow Roy had more respect for him. “Why don’t you go into private work.” 

He watched as Ed’s brows creased together. “You have to have some kind of reputation for that. I’m not even old enough to have anything like that. I still have to afford diapers.” 

Roy nodded. 

“I never thought having a kid would give me so much happiness. I have so much more drive, so much more ambition.” Ed grinned as he grabbed a bag of chips. “I was a little shit growing up, and I can see so much of me in him that I’m terrified.” 

Roy laughed and reached for a bag of chips himself. 

“But I’d probably be a bum if it wasn’t for that kid.” 

Roy stared at his sandwich with heavy thought. “I’ve really been thinking of having a kid,” he admitted. 

“Do it,” Ed grinned back at him. “There was no better joy of having my newborn son in my arms. I can’t preach family more than that.” 

“Oh,” Roy laughed. “My friend Maes will challenge you to it.” 

“It brings a sense of completeness that my marriage rivals.” Ed grabbed a soda. “All I need now is to work on my art, find a good job that makes me happy. I’ll be living the dream.” 

At such a young age, Roy was intrigued to see Edward already know what he wanted. At his age, Roy thought he wanted to serve the country, be a hero. But now, he’d changed. 

“And, you know, at the end of the day, all that matters is my family,” Ed continued. “I get to go home to them. There’s nothing better than that.” 

There was no truer statement than that. 

He sat back down in his office chair, logging back into his computer. As mundane as his life had grown to be, it was reliable and he wasn’t being asked an opinion on the safety of the country that was going to bite him in the end. Instead, he was left staring at a computer until his eyes hurt. Slowly Roy smiled as he pulled up the appropriate applications. There was one thing that was going to always be consistent in his life. That was Riza. And no matter how their lives twisted and turned, he was always going to go home and kiss her as if he found her in a bar after years apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I feel happy or sad to see this finally completed. To be honest, it's been a beast. However, it was so fun and so worth writing. There are more adventures to be had. Rando and I have other things in the making and I have other side projects to work through. I'm so happy, and humbled, with all the support and love this has brought the Royai community. You can find me at @snowdog49 on tumblr. Thank you ever so much for reading. It really meant a lot to Rando and I. 
> 
> Good luck on your own adventures! Till next time


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